Mandatory Christmas Tips Drive Me CRAZY

Opie wakes up in a skyscraper 500 feet above NYC and instantly loses his mind over the annual “holiday tip pamphlet” that demands envelopes for 40+ building staffers while Jimmy Fallon’s perfect-happy Christmas vibes play on Sirius. From rage-baiting to doormen who make six figures in cash tips to the worst field-goal attempt in NFL history and French chocolate-fart pills, this episode is pure unfiltered holiday misery you’ll relate to harder than you want to admit. Coffee cups up, bitches

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Ronnie Babes cheers coffee, jumps up, bitch, We're doing it
five hundred feet above the streets of New York City.

Speaker 2 (00:09):
It's it's it's opiate and right the way.

Speaker 3 (00:12):
That obviously I'm using one of my roommates mugs. It
looks like two guys having a nice time. I don't
know what that's my roommate's mug.

Speaker 2 (00:21):
Yeah, but is that your roommate on your mug? Or
is it? What is that supposed to be? Do you
even know?

Speaker 4 (00:27):
I think those aren't those Hollywood actors.

Speaker 1 (00:31):
Yeah, but you don't even know what actors are? Is
that Paul Rudd? It almost looks like Paul Rudd. Who's
the single fucking movie I watch on the tava every
time I want to watch a movie, and it's Paul Rudd.

Speaker 2 (00:43):
Why? Why? Why?

Speaker 1 (00:46):
Good morning everybody, Good morning, Nick, Good morning Ted, Pallawata.

Speaker 2 (00:50):
Ron. I gotta be honest right off the bat. I'm
in a I'm in a bad.

Speaker 4 (00:55):
Mood because the Giants lost.

Speaker 1 (01:00):
No, I don't give a crap about the Giants, and
we're going to get into the Giants at a second,
and that stupid field goal tam to, Oh my god,
but no, I'm in a bad mood today. What is
it today? People always go, oh, what is it today? Well,
I do this for the live stream of the podcast.
You know, I find stuff that is bothersome. I try
to find stuff that is bothersome to all of us,

(01:21):
and then I present it.

Speaker 2 (01:23):
And then you as you're listening to this in your car,
you're like, oh my god, I could relate to this.
That's why I do it.

Speaker 1 (01:30):
And today I'm bothered because Ronnie, I live in this
building five hundred feet above the streets of New York City.
You know, it's a giant building. There's a huge staff,
forty fifty people. Right they're bringing your packages up. They're
bringing your deliveries up, white gloves service at the front door.

(01:50):
They open the door for you. But I'm so embarrassed
by that. I go on the side door and I
go up the service elevator. That's the type of guy
I am, ron And there it is in the lobby.

Speaker 2 (02:02):
It's the Christmas tree.

Speaker 1 (02:04):
And the giant box to donate toys, which we do
every year. I go through this house with literally unopened
toys that I put in the box for somebody else.
And then right there at the front desk is the pamphlet.
Do you want to guess what the pamphlet is round
the waiter?

Speaker 2 (02:24):
One? Guess the pamphlet that is driving me nuts today
like it does every year.

Speaker 3 (02:33):
The Macha Dimes, the Matcha Times.

Speaker 2 (02:37):
No, it's not the Monster Dimes. It's Christmas tip time, bitches.

Speaker 4 (02:45):
I was just gonna say, dude, I hope you've been saving.

Speaker 2 (02:48):
It's exactly I know.

Speaker 4 (02:50):
I'm not joking.

Speaker 3 (02:50):
By the way, this is so I know people who
are dormant because I used to work at Pete's Tavern,
which is Gramercy Park.

Speaker 2 (02:57):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (02:57):
Yeah, like the doorman.

Speaker 3 (03:00):
Yeah, they're making close to one hundred thousand almost what
for the Christmas season, right, they're making seventy eighty you know,
fifty sixty thousand in cash from all you know, if
you if you're the doorman of a building with two
hundred units in it, yeah, you're getting an envelope from

(03:23):
from two hundred people. You have to what are you
going to not tip your doorman? Like you're gonna be
the only one. Everyone gives a little something.

Speaker 4 (03:32):
It's a lot.

Speaker 3 (03:33):
By the way, they count on that, they count on
that as their income.

Speaker 2 (03:37):
I get it. I get it. I get it. But
here's the problem.

Speaker 1 (03:41):
I will I will give you the official number the
next time we do one of these, because I didn't count.

Speaker 2 (03:47):
It's at least at least forty. At least forty envelopes.

Speaker 1 (03:52):
I gotta get at least so I'll make another silly
envelope video as I go to the CBS and get
my envelopes.

Speaker 4 (03:58):
Yay.

Speaker 3 (04:00):
Does everyone get the same amount or is it different
amounts depending on how much interaction you had?

Speaker 2 (04:07):
Dude, it's it's uh.

Speaker 1 (04:10):
You know, when I when I had the big radio show,
it was it was thousands, not thousand, thousands of dollars.
I was giving every year thousands, And as you know.

Speaker 2 (04:24):
We're in the lean years these days. So I try,
I try to. I try to.

Speaker 1 (04:29):
I try to figure out that number where it doesn't
feel cheap, but it also saves me some goddamn money.
I'm trying to save money like anybody else out there.
It's over forty people. It's expected.

Speaker 2 (04:43):
They had their picture and what they do in the building, and.

Speaker 1 (04:46):
Then yet they're right out the envelopes and and stuffed
the envelope with cash. And then I got and then
I I got ten guys that parked my car. I
got that list already. Here's the problem, here's the problem
with holiday TI. Yeah, they made it mandatory because I
guess there are a lot of people out there that
don't do the right thing.

Speaker 2 (05:06):
And they're cheap, right, But.

Speaker 1 (05:08):
You know, old school, we got to talk about like
our parents, our parents parents around the holidays, they would
just walk around with a lot of cash. Oh oh
you're my butcher, Hey, happy holidays. Oh you're my mailman,
Oh happy holidays. Oh you're the same guy that delivers
my package. Oh, happy holidays. And you do it because

(05:31):
it's the right thing to do, and you do it
to the people that actually helped you.

Speaker 2 (05:35):
All year long.

Speaker 1 (05:36):
But somewhere along the way, it's not voluntary anymore. It's expected,
and it's a pamphlet and it's pictures and it's their names.

Speaker 2 (05:47):
I don't even know half these people that I'm going
to give a tip to.

Speaker 3 (05:50):
Ron Wait wait a minute, Like there's actually like a
list of the people who work in the building.

Speaker 4 (05:57):
Like they make it easy for you.

Speaker 1 (05:58):
I told you that. That's why I am mad because
of the pamphlet at the front desk. Yeah, it's Christmas
tip season.

Speaker 4 (06:06):
Organizing.

Speaker 1 (06:07):
I literally don't mind giving out money around the holiday.
I don't mind it, I get it, but to be
for you're literally forced to do it.

Speaker 2 (06:16):
And you know if you're if you're not tipping, oh.

Speaker 1 (06:19):
Boy, if your packages aren't you know, dented, because they
just open the elevator and throw it down the hall
like a bowling ball.

Speaker 2 (06:27):
They pay attention, so you almost you almost held hostage
to make sure you tipped. It's it's crazy.

Speaker 3 (06:38):
The super who managed the obviously all the all the
high rises in Gramacy Park are all luxury. I mean,
if you live at Gramacy Park, the building directly across
the street from Pete's Tavern, the super would you know
almost every day have lunch there. His name's Jeffrey Albanian.

(06:58):
The Albanians have the market on fucking supers and shit,
yeah he would because we would talk. He said he
would make on average fifty sixty thousand.

Speaker 4 (07:09):
Yeah cash every Christmas.

Speaker 2 (07:11):
I get it.

Speaker 3 (07:12):
And he says, I actually factor that into my my salary. Right,
that's fifty sixty thousand cash under the table untext here.

Speaker 2 (07:23):
I think, here's the rule. If you're making more money
than me, why am I tipping you? And would people
I got what.

Speaker 4 (07:36):
You have that many people in your building? Forty?

Speaker 2 (07:39):
Really, I will give you the exact number tomorrow.

Speaker 4 (07:44):
That's a lot.

Speaker 2 (07:45):
That's the problem. It is a lot.

Speaker 1 (07:47):
It's crazy, and they're and their union and I like
a lot of these people, and a.

Speaker 2 (07:52):
Lot of them I have no problem giving them money.

Speaker 3 (07:54):
He didn't answer my question, by the way, Oh does
everyone get the same amount or is it different depending
on their their role?

Speaker 2 (08:01):
What?

Speaker 1 (08:02):
No, they have their positions in a hierarchy. So they're
basically saying, I'm I'm above all these people below me.
They're like, they're like many Christmas trees. I'm the head
of this department and here's my underling. So make sure
you get the chy hiarchy so you know how to tip.

Speaker 2 (08:19):
Dude. This has nothing to do with the Christmas spirit. Nothing, Jimmy,
go screw with your Christmas spirit. I was listening to
your channel.

Speaker 1 (08:29):
Serious XM got a holiday seasoning.

Speaker 2 (08:33):
Oh yeah, it's all fun for everybody. Is it a
Jimmy Fallon?

Speaker 4 (08:37):
I'll tell you at.

Speaker 3 (08:38):
Anything, Jimmy Fallons or is everything just all happy?

Speaker 2 (08:42):
Let's skip through life. Things are great. Go screw Jimmy.

Speaker 3 (08:46):
Don't like you and I can don't And I'm and
I'm speaking from experience. Don't ever, ever, ever go to
a charioarchy karaoke bar with Jimmy Fallon. He fucking hogs it.
He fucking hogs it. He sings every fucking song. I've
done it because he used to be a karaoke bar
on nineteenth on an irving called Tracy jay z Owner

(09:10):
was a former Knicks basketball player.

Speaker 2 (09:12):
Oh really, who was?

Speaker 3 (09:14):
He was the college player of the year. Okay, I
think for like North Carolina or Duke.

Speaker 2 (09:20):
Oh, Duke.

Speaker 3 (09:21):
He was the number one college player coming out of
Duke and he was the.

Speaker 4 (09:24):
Number one pick for the New York Knicks. Nice to
get his name. He owned the bar.

Speaker 3 (09:29):
He owned a karaoke bar in Gramacy Park, and Jimmy
Sallon lives in Gramaseea Park. Yeah, and he hogs the karaoke.

Speaker 2 (09:38):
Oh this Jimmy Fallon, He's just happy all the time.

Speaker 1 (09:41):
Guess who has the number one holiday song in America
right now? Actually, I think it's the number one song
in America right now. It's not even just a holiday song.

Speaker 2 (09:52):
Jimmy Fallon. He's got a song with the Jonas Brothers. Ah,
it's the biggest hit in America right now.

Speaker 3 (10:00):
Oh, that's probably because it's probably a song from the
They have a movie out now right where the Jonas
brothers are trying to get back home for the holidays.
Wait a minute, and that's called trains plays an autobil Yeah,
fuck as you stole it.

Speaker 2 (10:15):
Well, they steal everything in Hollywood. They get hold on. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (10:19):
I have a question about Jimmy Fallon because then I was,
I was, uh, I was listening to serious Excent.

Speaker 2 (10:26):
God have they got boring? And there's Jimmy Fallon. Everything
is great, everything's happening.

Speaker 1 (10:32):
Let's play some Christmas songs and have Christmas memories and
then he and.

Speaker 2 (10:36):
Then someone, uh, someone emailed them.

Speaker 1 (10:38):
Hey, Jimmy, what was your What was your best Christmas gift?

Speaker 2 (10:44):
Ron?

Speaker 1 (10:44):
What do you think Jimmy Found's best Christmas gift of
all time was? This says everything you need to know
about this perfect Jimmy found where he's never had a
bad day in his life.

Speaker 2 (10:54):
Give me that dollar ninety nine.

Speaker 1 (10:56):
Thank you, it's going right towards the Christmas tips wherever
you are.

Speaker 2 (11:00):
Thank you.

Speaker 1 (11:01):
What do you think Jimmy Fallon's best Christmas gift of
all time was?

Speaker 4 (11:07):
I'll say this, go ahead.

Speaker 2 (11:09):
He's from your arts, by the way, he's a Boston guy.

Speaker 3 (11:14):
I've spent time with Jimmy Fallon at the karaoke bar.

Speaker 2 (11:21):
What song?

Speaker 4 (11:21):
And I can tell.

Speaker 2 (11:22):
You, huh what song did you sing? Sorry? Oh, I
don't know.

Speaker 3 (11:26):
But let me tell you what Jimmy Fallon loves. And
let me tell you why he loved doing karaoke. Yeah,
Jimmy Sallen loved. For some reason, Jimmy Fallon loved going
to the bathroom about every thirty five to forty minutes.

Speaker 4 (11:38):
He had so much energy.

Speaker 2 (11:40):
All right, Well, we don't know what that's about.

Speaker 3 (11:43):
Run and he cheered, So I asked, I think that's
what he enjoyed.

Speaker 2 (11:47):
We don't know what. We don't know what that's about. Running.
We don't know. I know, we don't know, though, we
don't know. And that was a long time ago.

Speaker 4 (11:57):
He's feeling good. He likes to share.

Speaker 2 (11:59):
All right, we don't know, right, dude, he used.

Speaker 4 (12:01):
To tap me on the leg.

Speaker 2 (12:03):
You don't know. We don't know. We don't know anything.
We don't know. You might have been having some I'm sure.

Speaker 4 (12:08):
I'm sure he's you know, he's got fail that's what
he didn't have kids.

Speaker 2 (12:11):
Come on, it's all right, it's a long time ago.
We all did a lot a long time ago. All right,
listen to me. What do you think Jimmy Fallons?

Speaker 1 (12:18):
Actually I want to hear that story off air, and
then I have to decide how we present it on air.
What do you think Jimmy Fallon's best Christmas gift was.

Speaker 2 (12:26):
This perfect human being. Everything he touches turns to gold.

Speaker 1 (12:31):
He's never had a swop, he's never had a bad day,
he's never had a good cry.

Speaker 4 (12:38):
A Christmas, Dickie, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (12:42):
He swears that his best Christmas gift of all time, right,
was a scarf that his mom knitted all he wanted.
Could you imagine being a kid and mommy goes, what
do you want for Christmas?

Speaker 2 (12:56):
And you go, Mommy, I want you to knit be
a starf? Who said that unless you're Jimmy Fallid.

Speaker 4 (13:04):
His mother nitted him a scaff and then and.

Speaker 1 (13:07):
Then uh and then uh, Christmas comes and there's a
you know, it's a big deal, and there's the there's
the gift and Jimmy opens it up and it's a
it's a scarf, and Jimmy goes, I had to listen
to this, and you know what we used to do
on Serious exam and this is what they now have
as as as content and programming. So Jimmy's like, uh,

(13:27):
I saw the gift under the tree, and I'm like,
oh my god, here's the moment, the moment my mom
knitted me a scarf. He opens it up and it's
a scarf. He realizes right away, Mommy, you didn't knit this.
So then Jimmy Fallon is all set and then his
mom goes, well, actually, I didn't knit you a scarf,
but it didn't come out well. And Jimmy goes, well,

(13:48):
I want it anyway.

Speaker 2 (13:49):
So then Jimmy.

Speaker 1 (13:50):
Describes this awful blue scarf that like, you know, it
was like two inches on one end and I think
it was eighteen inches on the other end.

Speaker 2 (13:58):
Horribly made. And know what, Jimmy said.

Speaker 4 (14:02):
The greatest gift I ever had.

Speaker 1 (14:04):
Exactly and that he has it to this day and
he wears it yuck. Yeah year and then he played
a beautiful Christmas song his on his serious XM channel.

Speaker 3 (14:17):
I remember asking, I remember asking my mother what I
wanted for Christmas? Yeah, for you to come back home Mommy,
come back, Mommy, come back.

Speaker 2 (14:32):
But who says that he's a wire? My favorite Christmas
gift was probably my first real bike. Attends to be bike,
or my.

Speaker 1 (14:40):
Pachinko machine or my Atari back in the day. These
are real gifts that your parents give you that you
remember all these years later.

Speaker 2 (14:50):
Oh this Jimmy fallid.

Speaker 3 (14:52):
Dude, I remember getting because I had a stepbrother at
the time with the evil step mother. Yeah, she bought
kind of like for the for the kids, uh and
the tari.

Speaker 4 (15:06):
And I remember setting it up and the very the.

Speaker 3 (15:09):
Only we only had one game on it, right, you
want to guess what the game was?

Speaker 2 (15:14):
Like Pong or it.

Speaker 4 (15:16):
Was and it was like the amazing you know.

Speaker 2 (15:19):
It was like amazing, dude. I remember to this day.

Speaker 1 (15:24):
I couldn't I couldn't wrap my head around the fact,
oh my god, this is going to date all of us.
I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that you
could play an arcade game in your living room on
your fucking TV and it was Pong and you would
play for fucking hours. And now if you if you
played Pong, you're good for what five minutes? Nostalgia, I guess.

(15:46):
And then you're like, all right, enough of this, but
did you have a Tari?

Speaker 3 (15:51):
I had Atari, and I remember I got so hooked
on Super Mario Brothers right like go to all the
levels that I would just play for like almost like
like days.

Speaker 1 (16:03):
I think the problem with Atari was, though they could,
they didn't have the rights to the actual games, so
they had the knockoff versions of all the game in
the arcade, like.

Speaker 2 (16:11):
Instead of a pac Man.

Speaker 1 (16:12):
I would love to know the list of the games now,
but instead of pac Man. It was a little off
because they didn't they didn't have the actual rights. What's
the one thing that drove you nuts about Atari? Let's
see if we got a match and then we got
to move on to the things.

Speaker 4 (16:25):
The one thing that drove me nuts about Atari is.

Speaker 3 (16:30):
You would have to blow on the cartridge and then
stick it in and then it still would it be fuzzy.

Speaker 4 (16:36):
Then you take it back out.

Speaker 3 (16:37):
Then you would blow into the hole, blow into the cartridge,
wiggle it, you know, cross your fingers, put the fucking
it looked like an.

Speaker 4 (16:47):
A truck tape.

Speaker 3 (16:48):
Yeah, you put it in and you pray that it
would be a clear screen.

Speaker 4 (16:54):
Yes, that's my memory of Atari.

Speaker 1 (16:57):
Like that if it's a Scaramuza calling you out. Super
Mario was Nintendo Ron, so that was a little later on.

Speaker 2 (17:02):
There you go. Fair enough, Yeah, fair enough.

Speaker 1 (17:05):
Uh okay, here's my match right here with this guy
a Yo three four one dash z one t How
are you going to get subscribers on YouTube with a
fucking handle like that? The joysticks, the joysticks would stick,
the joysticks would break, and after a while you had

(17:26):
to you had to become your own little engineer and
take the whole thing apart and try to fix it
yourself because they broke so much.

Speaker 2 (17:33):
Bravo to that guy.

Speaker 4 (17:37):
Bravo.

Speaker 1 (17:38):
All right, Ron, I see you got the Patriots shirt
on I listen yesterday.

Speaker 2 (17:44):
Huh.

Speaker 3 (17:45):
I didn't want to wear it again because I wore yesterday.
But my god, hello Jeesus Christ. Eleven and two ten
in a row. The reigning MVP candidate is Drake May.

Speaker 4 (18:02):
The raining coach of the year is Drable.

Speaker 3 (18:10):
Robert Kraft is in his eighties, still getting handies it
all fucking God allegedly, by the way, God bless him.

Speaker 4 (18:19):
The guy still got spunk and he's.

Speaker 2 (18:23):
Whatever I I. You know, his son is really nice.
His son was a big fan of Opien Anthony when
we're up. Oh really all big fan. What did they
start back in the day.

Speaker 1 (18:33):
Soccer or something. I'm trying to remember it. And uh
he was all in with us, trying to help promote.

Speaker 4 (18:38):
Uh uh oh so he's been on the show. Yeah, man,
does he look like him?

Speaker 1 (18:44):
Uh? Well, this is a million years ago, so he
was a lot younger, but he was. He was absolutely
all in with Opian Anthony. He would absolutely know who
I was. If he walked to this roo.

Speaker 4 (18:53):
You just reach out to him.

Speaker 3 (18:55):
You should reach out to him and we could talk
about this fucking kick well round.

Speaker 1 (18:59):
These stories are so long ago that it's yeah, maybe
I don't even know what he would do.

Speaker 2 (19:04):
He probably would ignore.

Speaker 4 (19:05):
Ok, you reached.

Speaker 3 (19:06):
Out to him to go, hey, man, fucking how you
being blah blah blah so excited about the Patriots?

Speaker 1 (19:12):
Yeah, why don't they pop on a couple things about
your Patriots? Because uh, you know, I was a fan
for a moment back in the day because I lived
up there.

Speaker 2 (19:23):
But I'm not a fan anymore. I'm only a fan
of the Bills.

Speaker 1 (19:25):
I uh i uh I, you know, I got to
speak for the rest of the people that love their football.
After the Tom Brady run, we all were like, ha
ha ha ha.

Speaker 2 (19:38):
You guys are gonna suffer for at least a decade.

Speaker 1 (19:41):
And you you guys have turned it around insanely quick.

Speaker 2 (19:45):
You got a real shot.

Speaker 1 (19:47):
I'm gonna say it now, You've got a real shot
of fucking winning it all this year, which is crazy.

Speaker 3 (19:54):
Here's the thing, and this is why the Patriots were
so successful for so long. Not only by the way,
here's the here's the ingredients for a dynasty.

Speaker 4 (20:03):
Yeah, you got to have a fucking.

Speaker 3 (20:07):
Hall of Fame quarterback, and you got to have a
Hall of Fame coach.

Speaker 4 (20:12):
Tom Brady and Bill Belichick. Guess what. It looks like
they got it again.

Speaker 3 (20:19):
It looks like they have another Hall of Fame quarterback
and it looks like they have another Hall of Fame coach.
It's it's insane, and they're young again. It's like they've
gone back in time. Dude, Drake May looks like Tom
Brady is a rookie carrying pizza boxes under his arm,
except Drake May got he's got He's got.

Speaker 4 (20:40):
The dimple right. What was I gonna say?

Speaker 1 (20:44):
Oh?

Speaker 4 (20:44):
And we talked about it.

Speaker 3 (20:46):
Yesterday Drake's may first twenty five games with the Pats
compared to Tom Brady's Drake May is better in every category.

Speaker 2 (20:55):
That's all good, well and good, But.

Speaker 1 (21:00):
Were able to rep How long was the rebuild because
I wasn't paying attention a couple of years.

Speaker 4 (21:04):
Really, they were only bad for like two years.

Speaker 1 (21:07):
And the Jets another stinker, Like the Jets are literally
stuck in I would call it quicksand they have no hope.
And the Patriots lose Belichick and Brady and and Gronk
and all these other guys that made that team amazing,
And within a couple of years they rebuilt and they're
right back there.

Speaker 2 (21:27):
They got a real shot of going all the way.
It's crazy.

Speaker 3 (21:34):
The reaction, and this is true, the reaction of New
Yorkers because they know I'm a Pats fan and I'm
from Boston.

Speaker 4 (21:42):
Right, it's pure disgust.

Speaker 3 (21:44):
They're so upset that the Pats are back because for
twenty years the Patriots dominated the Jets.

Speaker 4 (21:53):
Yeah, and it's still it's I think New Yorkers are
in a state of shock.

Speaker 2 (21:58):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (21:58):
The Jets have all ready he been eliminated from the playoffs.
The Giants have already been eliminated.

Speaker 2 (22:03):
They've been eliminated for decades. Five weeks. Yeah, they've been
eliminated decades.

Speaker 3 (22:10):
I want to say Joe Namas is turning over in
his grave, but I think he's still alive.

Speaker 2 (22:15):
Yeah, he's whatever. All right, listen, I want to get
to the kick from last night, because.

Speaker 1 (22:19):
Oh my god, it's I think we're looking at the
worst field goal attempt ever.

Speaker 2 (22:26):
I think ever.

Speaker 4 (22:28):
So everyone is that kick.

Speaker 3 (22:31):
Everyone is is making the analogy of Lucy moving the
football and Charlie Brown missing. It looks like Charlie Brown
trying to kick a football. It's that fucking bad. And
let me say this, it's the Giants version of the
Jet butt stumble. It's that, by the way, it's gonna

(22:54):
it's it's a meme. It's this will go on and
lore every time they show a bad Jets saying they
showed Max Sanchez his ass getting planted in the They're.

Speaker 4 (23:05):
Going to always show this kid.

Speaker 1 (23:06):
Okay, shut up, so we can play it and then
we can talk about it, or you can talk over because.

Speaker 4 (23:10):
I I want to watch it.

Speaker 2 (23:12):
All right.

Speaker 1 (23:12):
Here's the Here is probably the worst field goal attempt
in NFL history.

Speaker 2 (23:19):
Giants all right, he's he's lining up.

Speaker 4 (23:23):
And looks good.

Speaker 2 (23:26):
Look his right foot, what's like, how are you a
professional athlete?

Speaker 4 (23:37):
Look at him? Are you looking? Look at him?

Speaker 3 (23:44):
Oh?

Speaker 4 (23:44):
He doing?

Speaker 2 (23:45):
Oh my god, his toes gotta hurt today.

Speaker 4 (23:48):
Man, he missed watch. Watch he misses the football by
by a few feet.

Speaker 2 (23:55):
Oh, he missed it by I would say two feet.

Speaker 4 (23:58):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (23:58):
I mean they're trying to blame the holder because the
ball and wobbled slightly.

Speaker 2 (24:04):
But this guy, so here's the problem.

Speaker 3 (24:08):
If you watch it, his planting foot goes in front
of the football. Look right, that's the issue. He his
planting foot should have been in front of the football.

Speaker 1 (24:21):
You know, that sums up not only the Giant season,
it sums up New York sports in general.

Speaker 2 (24:27):
Right there, that is New York sports. Oh, by, isn't
that amazing that? That is absolutely the worst field goal
attempt ever ever?

Speaker 4 (24:37):
This guy this is a Sarah's question. Yeah, does he
get cut.

Speaker 2 (24:45):
Now? Because they can't really find kickers?

Speaker 4 (24:48):
Then there's there's a million kickers on the sideline.

Speaker 1 (24:51):
Believe me, I think that's the least of their problems.
And and they'll probably look at that it was an anomaly.
That's what they're gonna think. You got to do that
a few times for them to go, oh god, you
stink it out of here.

Speaker 3 (25:05):
Hey, if that was Bill Parcells, the guy would have
been cut. Bill Parcells O fuck around or or Bell
Attack or what's his name?

Speaker 2 (25:15):
From the Dallas Cowboys? How about them cowboys? How about
them cowboys? I'm working on my impressions. Who's that? How
about them cowboys?

Speaker 3 (25:25):
Jimmy Johnson, Jimmy Johnson, Jimmy why do I Jimmy Johnson
and Bill Ballachuck are like best friends.

Speaker 4 (25:32):
They're fishing buddies.

Speaker 1 (25:33):
No one was tougher than Jimmy Johnson. Like I said,
I went through the Dallas Cowboys documentary. I think it's
on Netflix. It was amazing, absolutely amazing. I loved every
second of this stupid documentary. And I'm not a Cowboys
fan at all. But they had a hell of a
run in the nineties. And and Jimmy Johnson famously a kid,

(25:56):
a kid had asthma on the practice field and they basically,
basically Jimmy Johnson said, move his body and you're cut.

Speaker 2 (26:05):
He cut the guy for having as That's what you
get right on the spot.

Speaker 1 (26:11):
Though he doesn't even he doesn't even show any empathy, like, oh,
this poor guy, this has been his dream to be
in the NFL and play with the Dallas Cowboys.

Speaker 2 (26:18):
He's having a tough day. I can't have this on
my team. So let's get him off the field. Let's
get him some water.

Speaker 1 (26:24):
Let's calm him down, and then I'll have a little
discussion with him maybe on Monday.

Speaker 2 (26:28):
No, immediately he said, you're cut.

Speaker 3 (26:31):
Yeah, that's why he won. Hold on, did he win
two championships with the Cowboys? He won too, right, I
think he went too back to back.

Speaker 2 (26:41):
He did back to back all right?

Speaker 3 (26:44):
Then? And then.

Speaker 1 (26:46):
Let me think, Ryan, I'm answering your question. I think
he won two in a row and then the beauty
of the two in a row. Oh, he couldn't go
for three in a row because Jerry Jones goes.

Speaker 2 (26:55):
You're fired.

Speaker 4 (26:57):
Jimmy Jones. Sabotage is old team. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (27:00):
Yeah, Jerry Jones has to be forefront, the front and
center of everything. Jimmy Johnson was getting too big and
he was butting heads with the owner of the Cowboys,
so he fired him.

Speaker 2 (27:15):
Yeah, he fired him.

Speaker 3 (27:17):
Dude, you had a couple more Jimmy Johnson set that
team up so well that the fucking guy from Oklahoma, Swisher,
came into one another championship with Jimmy Johnson's team.

Speaker 2 (27:28):
Yeah, but he's a good he was a very good
coach as well.

Speaker 1 (27:31):
I mean, Jerry Jones kind of lucked out that the
replacement was although him and huh him and right, yeah, yeah, yeah,
but he didn't get along with uh what's oh my god,
what's his name? The quarterback of the Cowboys back the
oh my god, oh my god, Yeah, Troy Aikman.

Speaker 2 (27:53):
Thank you, Ron. It's too early for me and I'm
still in mourning. So you got it. You got a
great on a curve, all right? What else is going on, Ronnie? Ron?

Speaker 4 (28:03):
Well, you know you said you're a little out of it.
You want to talk about it or no?

Speaker 1 (28:09):
I mean, I'm I'm I'm just very very surprised at
how my mom's passing has just crushed me, because, you know,
I set up boundaries years ago a lot of people.
When you ignore the haters and you talk to the
real people, they understand some of this stuff I talk about.

(28:30):
You know, it's really hard to have to set up
a dramatic boundary with someone so close in your family,
whether it's a brother or sister.

Speaker 2 (28:38):
Your mom, your dad, and I had to do that
with my mom.

Speaker 1 (28:41):
And so like seven years ago, I pretty much pretty
much the last time I talked to her, I.

Speaker 2 (28:47):
Knew I would never talk to her again. I just
knew I had to do this, which is crazy and
unless you're in it, you don't get it. So at
that point I kind of mourned, you know, the passing
of my mom.

Speaker 1 (29:00):
And seven years later she dies and I'm just fucking
I'm just devastated, and I think it's kicking up so
much ship that I was.

Speaker 3 (29:09):
Let me chime in for a second, because I'm Jewish
and I'm essentially a doctor, psychiatrist, CP, a.

Speaker 4 (29:17):
Movie producer, build lasers in space.

Speaker 2 (29:21):
I do it all I'm doing in charge of the media.

Speaker 4 (29:23):
This is what doctor Burman is.

Speaker 2 (29:25):
According to theo Von, you guys are control the media correctly.
We gotta we gotta play.

Speaker 4 (29:32):
This is this is this is doctor Burman's diagnosis of
Greg Hughes.

Speaker 3 (29:38):
You intellectually tried to say, I've mourned my mother, she's done,
I've moved on.

Speaker 4 (29:49):
What really happened was is you suppressed all those scenes.

Speaker 2 (29:53):
God, hope not, because I'm working on.

Speaker 4 (29:56):
All you suppressed.

Speaker 3 (29:57):
You just kept it down and you kept trying to
say to yourself intellectually, I accept it, it's all good.
She's I've I've already accepted that she has passed on.
And and the truth is you you you haven't moved on.
What you did was is you tried to be very
clever with yourself and you suppressed everything, saying no, I

(30:20):
have moved on.

Speaker 4 (30:21):
Now everything is bubbling to the surface.

Speaker 3 (30:25):
And what's what I'm what I'm happy about for you
is that you're able to recognize it and you're gonna
go You're five every feet up, don't jop, and you're
gonna You're gonna talk it out. You're gonna talk it out.

Speaker 1 (30:42):
Now.

Speaker 4 (30:43):
What feelings are coming up?

Speaker 5 (30:47):
Sadness, uh, happiness, uh, uh, mad, angry, love, hate, all
of them, the stages of grief.

Speaker 1 (30:59):
Well, no, I'm allowing uh. I think what's important? Vinces
Garamuzo Jesus Christ. Ron is actually making a lot of sense. Yikes,
you gotta Ron is not a stupid man there, Vincent.
You gotta you gotta wake up, you know Ron. But
he's a smart man. He's well read this is Ron
the waiter. I'm smart enough to know that you gotta

(31:20):
go with the emotions you're feeling.

Speaker 2 (31:21):
You can't let go. No, no, I'm not gonna let
that emotion and you can't do that.

Speaker 1 (31:25):
You know that's very important, and uh I'm gonna be
I'm gonna talk to my, uh my therapist later today
just to kind of, you know, go through some of
this ship.

Speaker 4 (31:35):
Oh, the Jewish woman from Long Island.

Speaker 2 (31:38):
The sexy one, the sexy redhead.

Speaker 4 (31:41):
Hold on, did you pick your therapist because she was hot?

Speaker 2 (31:45):
No?

Speaker 1 (31:45):
No, it started because, uh it started because my mom
had her call me to try to talk about some things.
And I realize, like what that means is like, you're
gonna hear me out. You know when people say we
have to have an honest discussion on race, you know

(32:06):
what that actually means. Right, you're gonna hear me out.

Speaker 2 (32:09):
I know you don't.

Speaker 1 (32:11):
Here's the honest discussion. You're gonna listen to me and
what I have to say about this. So you know,
my mom was one of those people too, and I
was like, hell, no, I'm not sitting in a therapy office.

Speaker 2 (32:23):
So she could justify every fucking thing she ever did,
and why she does this and that. Now I'm not
but I said, but I'll talk to you.

Speaker 1 (32:30):
And you know I've been talking to her more on
than off for oh my god, probably twenty years.

Speaker 4 (32:38):
You know.

Speaker 3 (32:38):
It's obviously too late now, but it probably would have
been beneficial to have your mother in on the therapy
session because the therapist would have structured it.

Speaker 4 (32:47):
She wouldn't have allowed your mother to dominate.

Speaker 2 (32:49):
I understand, but.

Speaker 1 (32:52):
At the time, I chose a different path, and I'm
pretty happy with the path I chose.

Speaker 4 (32:56):
And I want to say that you said your therapist
is sexy.

Speaker 3 (32:59):
I think it's every guy's fantasy to like it's it's
every guy's fantasy to like having a fair with their therapist.
By the way, the sopranos, I think that was one
of the themes, right, you know, after.

Speaker 2 (33:12):
Like having deep discussions and working things out, she goes,
our time is up. And that's when I lowered my voice.
Are you sure our time is up?

Speaker 4 (33:24):
I can see you now.

Speaker 3 (33:25):
You're on the couch in auch No, I can see
it now.

Speaker 4 (33:29):
This is your fantasy is opening up. You're opening up.

Speaker 2 (33:34):
You're in a.

Speaker 4 (33:34):
Fetal position on the couch.

Speaker 3 (33:35):
Sucking your thumb trembling, and she comes over and cradles
you and rubbing your face.

Speaker 4 (33:41):
That's what you ask. Yes, give your soft kisses on
the corner. Yes, are you gonna be okay? Greggy? Giving
your kiss on Greggy.

Speaker 2 (33:50):
GREGGI consider me your new mommy.

Speaker 3 (33:53):
Greggie, Greg Greggy, I'm your mommy now, I'm the captain now, greggil.

Speaker 1 (34:00):
Oh my God, Jesus, you go deep with your bomby fantasies.
Jay Warren, do you believe in the afterlife? We were
made of energy? Op, Energy doesn't just disappear. Yeah, you
can't destroy energy. We're all made of energy.

Speaker 2 (34:12):
So at this moment in time, I do believe that
we move on.

Speaker 1 (34:16):
I don't know how we move on, and I don't
know hear your theory today, Ron, but I do know
our energy goes somewhere else.

Speaker 2 (34:23):
There's no after.

Speaker 3 (34:24):
Life is considered here because we're not from here. We
are from spirit. This is considered the afterlife. Physical reality
is considered the afterlife. All we do is we expand
back to spirit, back to consciousness, right, and then we
contract back to physical reality. And we keep expanding and contracting,

(34:45):
expanding and contracting.

Speaker 4 (34:47):
Our consciousness. Your mother is alive and well, believe me,
she just went back.

Speaker 2 (34:57):
Hey, doctor Ron needs an advice show. By the way,
we're making some much shekels today.

Speaker 3 (35:01):
Ron, because we're talking about him point stuff that everybody
can relate to.

Speaker 1 (35:06):
I'm hoping to make enough money to pay one out
of the forty plus Christmas tips this this holiday season.
If I could pay for one today, that'd be amazing.
All right, Ron, I don't want to talk about that.
I mean a whole on talk about it more, But
I want to move on to all the things, cause
you got wait one question.

Speaker 3 (35:21):
One question, Yes, forty people you gotta pay? Like what
what number are we talking like?

Speaker 2 (35:28):
For all forty I mean I don't get at this point,
for real forty people.

Speaker 4 (35:35):
It's gonna be in the thousands. Yes.

Speaker 1 (35:37):
When I was making money and this stupid club sort
of Kenny, who is my driver and he was my
main security guy overall, he did right by me and
my family.

Speaker 2 (35:47):
He would he would help me with the Christmas.

Speaker 1 (35:49):
Tips and then I would give him the He goes, gh,
You're you're doing too well in your career.

Speaker 2 (35:53):
You got to give even more this year, Gh. I
was giving, I was giving and some of them were
getting two hundred dollars.

Speaker 1 (36:06):
Again, and then it would drop down for Oh no,
no one I did with the super. I'm not even
gonna lie to you. I've had some issues in this apartment.
He's like, ah, that's your problem, not ours talking about
we had a steam pipe during the shutdown, we were
we were out of this apartment for over a year,
like everybody else, I was lucky enough to go somewhere else.

Speaker 4 (36:26):
Oh.

Speaker 1 (36:26):
I came back and we had some severe damage in
my apartment and I turned off everything in this point
there was that there was nothing plugged in that he
everything was completely off for a year. And I come
back to this disaster because the steam pipe for the
building that goes through.

Speaker 2 (36:42):
Every apartment first in my apartment. So I went to
the guy. Everything's warped and fucked up.

Speaker 1 (36:49):
It's thousands of dollars worth of damage, right, And I
go to him like, yo, we have nothing to do
with this. We could prove we didn't have anything turned on.
And goes, I don't know what to tell you. It's
your problem, not the building. And I pay six thousand
dollars in maintenance charges just to live here. That's not
my that's not my mortgage, that's not my city taxes.
It's another thing you gotta do. And I'm thinking six

(37:10):
thousand a month and you're trying to tell me this.

Speaker 2 (37:12):
Is my issue. Right, So guess what. I'm making that
money back, slowly but surely. Bitch. Every year, I'm taking
a little off his Christmas tip. Every year. Ah, you
give him side to you, now, that's what I do.

Speaker 4 (37:27):
You'll show him.

Speaker 1 (37:28):
Oh, well, you know, I mean, this is the stuff
when you talk about people are like, you're a fucking monster.
But you know what, I like talking about this stuff
because we all think it and we all do some
of this shit.

Speaker 3 (37:39):
So when do you give it out like a week
like the last week? When do you give it out
before Christmas?

Speaker 2 (37:43):
Dude? It annoys me so much. This annoys me so much.

Speaker 1 (37:48):
And like I said, I want to stress, it's not
about actually, you know, giving Christmas tips to people that
you're like, oh yeah, that guy is awesome, and that
guy being forced to do this every year drives me
insane and it drives me crazy.

Speaker 2 (38:02):
So right after Christmas we leave for two or three
weeks because the kids have off that as as I'm
packing my car I take the envelopes and I carefully,
I carefully put it in the in the slot, and
I put a fake smile on my face. Happy holidays everybody.
And then I leave it, jump in my car, and

(38:24):
then I just grab my steering wheel as far as
I can.

Speaker 3 (38:29):
The problem is is you got a tip, because you're
gonna be ostracized and when you really need help, they're
gonna make excuses like I'm busy, I can't be there.

Speaker 4 (38:38):
I'll be there later. They show up, they say they
be there, They show up two outs later.

Speaker 1 (38:42):
You know, my generous tips got me nowhere. There's been
a couple other things in the in the apartment that
went wrong, and they're like, I don't know what to
tell you. How about this one? My lock was broken? Ah, yeah,
you gotta call a locksmith.

Speaker 2 (38:55):
We have nothing to do.

Speaker 1 (38:56):
What do you mean you have nothing to do with it.
It's it's the lock for the fucking my front, Like
you don't even know.

Speaker 4 (39:01):
That's just super responsibility to do that.

Speaker 1 (39:05):
So the locksmith, just to walk in in our apartment
is hundreds of dollars. Because everything is ridiculously expensive in
this city.

Speaker 4 (39:12):
It's one hundred just to show up it's probably more.

Speaker 2 (39:14):
Than that just to show up.

Speaker 1 (39:17):
Like I said, the easy plumbing fix I had recently
that they couldn't fix. They couldn't fix that either, by
the way, that costs four or five hundred dollars.

Speaker 2 (39:26):
And even the plumbers like this is a very easy fix.
They should have been able to do this.

Speaker 4 (39:31):
Hold on, it's not just the building people you have
to tip.

Speaker 3 (39:35):
I mean, you know, if you get if you're getting
like your morning coffee from the same guy every.

Speaker 4 (39:40):
Day, you got hey, happy holidays.

Speaker 2 (39:43):
Don't get confused. I have no problem doing that with
the people. I'm like, oh my god, this guy's awesome.

Speaker 1 (39:47):
He's been taking care of me all year. I got
guys in the garage that helped me out every morning.
Because they drive the kids to school most days, they're.

Speaker 2 (39:54):
Going to be well taken care of. I don't mind
doing that. It's the pamphlet. It is the fucking pamphlet with.

Speaker 4 (40:01):
All the guidelines.

Speaker 3 (40:03):
Right the guidelines they're telling you what to pay and
when to pay and how much.

Speaker 4 (40:08):
The paper person they've organized bro I.

Speaker 1 (40:13):
Just made twenty dollars. This will take care of one
Christmas tip. My goal was to take care of one
Christmas tip today and I got it. Thanks for making
me laugh all these years since you were on ninety five.

Speaker 3 (40:23):
Okay, so some people are getting a twenty. Some some
people are getting more than twenty, depending on their position.

Speaker 2 (40:29):
Yeah, some will and I'm not gonna lie you. Some
will get less than twenty. Yeah the kid doesn't do
as well as he used to. Yeah, some will get
less than twenty, but a lot will get around the twenty.

Speaker 3 (40:40):
If you need to know the truth, do people like
do people like give them cards like thank you so much,
blah blah blah, but no money.

Speaker 4 (40:49):
You gotta get money, right.

Speaker 2 (40:50):
Well, I mean I talk.

Speaker 1 (40:52):
You know, I'm friends with a lot of the guys
who work at this building, to be honest, it's't been
here so long.

Speaker 2 (40:55):
And they're like, oh god, some people don't tip at all.
And I'm like, huh, that seems like a fun thing.

Speaker 1 (41:00):
You know, that'd be a couple of couple of foul
in my pocket that I wouldn't mind happening.

Speaker 4 (41:05):
They say, who doesn't tip?

Speaker 1 (41:06):
Or no, no, no, And then you know they get
a card, but they ripped through the car just to
find the cash. It's a it's a it's a money grab.

Speaker 2 (41:15):
That's nothing to do with the holiday season.

Speaker 4 (41:17):
Yeez, I'll say it. I'll say it one more time.

Speaker 3 (41:20):
Doorman, Supers Maintenance and high rise buildings right factor in
Christmas as power of their annual salary.

Speaker 4 (41:28):
It's it's it's a given.

Speaker 2 (41:30):
I get it. But you know they're also union.

Speaker 3 (41:32):
You can count on, on average about twenty twenty to
thirty thousand dollars in your pocket if you work in
a high rise in New York.

Speaker 4 (41:42):
That's average.

Speaker 1 (41:43):
All right, Yeah, but anyway, Ron, Yeah, I mean there's uh,
there's this kind of like, uh, there's about fifty floors
in this building.

Speaker 2 (41:53):
Some of us have, you know, a bigger space than others.
But there's okay, you know what's funny. There has to
be three hundred residents in this building.

Speaker 3 (42:02):
Helps it to be you know what's funny? What what
you're going through? You know how they put that pamphlet
up and it upset you.

Speaker 2 (42:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (42:10):
It's kind of similar to Oxford's twenty twenty five word
of the Year.

Speaker 4 (42:15):
Do you know what it is?

Speaker 1 (42:16):
What is it?

Speaker 4 (42:18):
You want to take a guess?

Speaker 2 (42:20):
Six seven?

Speaker 4 (42:22):
No, so Oxfords, Oh I'm out of the year. Higher ball. No,
it's kind of when you're air ball.

Speaker 2 (42:31):
There's a new definition of air ball.

Speaker 1 (42:33):
When you when you fuck up something or fuck up
a joke, my kid will look ok airball.

Speaker 2 (42:39):
Right, So Oxfords, I tell Joe to go screw.

Speaker 1 (42:43):
Hey, Joe, go screw what twenty dollars tip is insulted
you up in cheapathy?

Speaker 2 (42:47):
Go screw?

Speaker 1 (42:48):
How about how about you grab a few thousand dollars
and just hand it out the fucking.

Speaker 2 (42:53):
Strangers on the street, because that's.

Speaker 1 (42:54):
What we do.

Speaker 2 (42:57):
Your garbage, Joe, what people that that don't get it?

Speaker 4 (43:03):
Excuse me?

Speaker 3 (43:04):
It's this is this can't be any more perfect. What
Joe just said to you, right, is exactly. The word
of the year from Oxford's.

Speaker 2 (43:15):
Word of the Year was he trying to get under
my skin?

Speaker 4 (43:18):
You want the word he did? He guess what he did.

Speaker 3 (43:21):
The word of the year from the Oxtra Dictionary for
twenty twenty five is.

Speaker 4 (43:26):
Rage bait.

Speaker 2 (43:27):
That's two words.

Speaker 4 (43:29):
It's one word. Rage bait is one word.

Speaker 2 (43:31):
No, that's two words.

Speaker 3 (43:32):
Rage that's one word. And by the way, that's what
that guy Jo, the guy Joe got ya. He rage
baited you.

Speaker 2 (43:38):
It's the dumbest thing that's going on on the internet.
I get I get it.

Speaker 1 (43:41):
Here in the chat, they just say stupid shit that
is not even close to true because they're trying to
rage bait.

Speaker 2 (43:48):
I already I already understand rage baiting.

Speaker 4 (43:51):
He Yeah, Joe just did it.

Speaker 2 (43:55):
Yeah, you got me with some rage bait. Died Joe. Congratulations,
all the stuff, Ron, it would be fun.

Speaker 1 (44:01):
Not today though, because I gotta start wrapping up and
I want to take time with this. I should list
all the shit that these idiots have rage baited me
with all the made up shit from the past year.

Speaker 2 (44:13):
It's amazing, amazing.

Speaker 4 (44:17):
I know there's several sources.

Speaker 3 (44:19):
They come at your heart, Opie had but you want
people coming at your hot because that means you're you're
still relevant.

Speaker 1 (44:26):
Yeah, of course I'm relevant. We're talking to twenty eight
people today. Of course I'm relevant.

Speaker 2 (44:31):
Ron. What else you got, brother, Well, let's keep it light.
This has been a fun.

Speaker 4 (44:37):
Let's keep it light. Let's keep it light.

Speaker 2 (44:39):
Even the thirdy thing you did with me was fun
and light because we got right. Yeah, we'll have with that.

Speaker 3 (44:46):
So a French company, a French inventor created a company.

Speaker 4 (44:55):
He created it's called hailoulai Heet. He invented a.

Speaker 3 (45:02):
Fart pill, so stupid. Only the French with all that
stinky cheese. So this is the genusis of this. He's
a scientist, he's an inventor. Yeah, and he had a
dinner party. Yeah, and the flatulence was so bad that

(45:22):
people like were suffocating.

Speaker 2 (45:24):
I don't know what the.

Speaker 4 (45:25):
Fuck they were eating. Probably it's cago, that's stinky, dude.

Speaker 1 (45:29):
I would I want to stop you for a second
because I think this is worth talking about.

Speaker 2 (45:34):
What is the what country you think has the worst farts?

Speaker 1 (45:38):
And I'm going to tell you right now, France is
way up there with all that fucking cheese and the snails. Yeah,
their farts have got to be horrendous. Do you think
there's a country that has worse farts? And it's not
the Middle East, believe or not.

Speaker 3 (45:53):
Oh, I was gonna say the Middle East will of
that fucking Bubba ganoche.

Speaker 1 (45:57):
No, they have a lot of chicken dishes and stuff.
I think these is safe as far as uh. I
think France is worse than the Middle East as far
as farts go.

Speaker 2 (46:05):
India is coming in.

Speaker 1 (46:06):
Oh, some good, hot, spicy Indian food where you wake
up the next morning and you just hear the air.

Speaker 2 (46:14):
Oh, I want to say that this part is the best.

Speaker 4 (46:20):
That's the fight you get when you come out of prison,
because there's no more puckering.

Speaker 2 (46:23):
Oh my god, that's the no. It's called the skunk fart.
This guy knows. Oh, yes, skunk fart. Mexico. Wait, Mexico
with the worst farts. Come on, let's go through the
countries real fast.

Speaker 1 (46:33):
Canada know America? Now Mexico's France is definitely brutal.

Speaker 3 (46:37):
Honestly, I'm gonna have to go with Germany. You ever
had fucking sausage and sauerkraut? Sausage and sauerkrauts deadly?

Speaker 1 (46:47):
Oh, the sour crowd could get things of bubbling, They
can get things of bubbling. What about you gotta go
with one of these fish countries, the raw fish countries.

Speaker 2 (47:00):
So what's some of your raw fish countries? Japan my favorite?

Speaker 3 (47:08):
Oh oh, by the way, oh yeah, So there's a
there's a major difference between Japanese girls and Indian girls.

Speaker 4 (47:14):
And this is true. And by the way, they don't
believe me. Try for yourself.

Speaker 3 (47:18):
Japanese girls, if you go below the border, okay, Japanese girls,
if you go below the border.

Speaker 4 (47:26):
It's very gamey.

Speaker 3 (47:28):
It's very gamey because you are what you eat. You
eat raw fish, You're gonna fucking secrete the smell of
raw fish.

Speaker 2 (47:37):
It's gay, sweet and salur.

Speaker 4 (47:39):
Now, now let's go to the other side.

Speaker 3 (47:42):
In Indian women. Do you know why it's sweet because
all the spices. It's all the spices. Indian girls down below,
very nice, enjoyable, sweet sweet. It's spices, the turmac, the curry.

Speaker 4 (48:00):
It's nice.

Speaker 2 (48:01):
They don't believe.

Speaker 3 (48:01):
Japanese girls. It's like low tide in August. Fishy the
Indian girls.

Speaker 2 (48:06):
The Indian girls don't believe.

Speaker 3 (48:07):
In races, right, Yeah, dude, I was with an Indian girl.
Looked like she had a holem globe trying to fucking
afro big. She had a pick in it. She had
a pick in it, he was picking. She was fluffing
it up for me.

Speaker 2 (48:20):
I gotta I gotta get my brother Brett back on
these things.

Speaker 1 (48:23):
He's I'm not even joking when he gets going telling
his stories, he's he's one of the funniest people I've
I've ever known in my life, and he's literally my brother.
He when he gets going, he's funnier than a ship
ton of people that did the Opiate Anthony Show. But
he never fully committed and pushed it to this arena
because he's busy trying to make a living with the
restaurant business.

Speaker 2 (48:44):
But he has a he has a tar and feather
story that you'll you'll beg him to stop. You'll beg
him to stop. That's all I'll say for now.

Speaker 4 (48:54):
It's a little teas.

Speaker 2 (48:55):
Maybe I could get him on here, but now now
I gave him the pressure of telling the story properly.

Speaker 3 (48:59):
But all right, so there's a pill that takes care
of okay, So getting back to the story.

Speaker 4 (49:04):
The genesis of the invention was is they had a
dinner party. You know, and I get it.

Speaker 3 (49:11):
It's not like, hey, we're sitting around in our sweatpants.
They had an elegant dinner party. Chandelier's candles and the
flashes were so bad that it ruined the party and
people were like choking.

Speaker 4 (49:25):
So he said, well that let's try to figure this out.

Speaker 3 (49:29):
So they actually invented a pill called Halula pet, which
translates the fat pill. So these are the these are
the flavors. The pill will turn your thoughts into rose violet,
ginger and the fan favorite chocolate. So you can take

(49:52):
you can have a rose pill, a violet pill, ginger
or chocolate and your farts will smell like chocolate.

Speaker 4 (50:00):
We need to try this, We need to get No.

Speaker 2 (50:02):
I'm not a scientist. I can certainly play one from
time to time. All you're getting is now the sweet
smell of let's say chocolate with the horrendous smell of shit.

Speaker 3 (50:15):
Well that's what does Now you get the combo platter.

Speaker 2 (50:21):
That's all it does.

Speaker 3 (50:22):
That's what fucking spray is for the and the toilet.
You know what, I kind of think it may work
because the ingredients what seem to work.

Speaker 4 (50:31):
So this is the ingredients.

Speaker 3 (50:34):
Charcoal makes sense, okay, charcoal, seaweed, fennyl, and blueberries apparently
can absorb the order. I don't know, however, seaweed makes
you fat.

Speaker 1 (50:47):
What's the wrong? What's the one food because I got one?
What's the one food that gets the gases going for
you to the to the point in my house where
people go, all right, Dad, you've had enough.

Speaker 2 (51:03):
Although I don't fart in front of my family, I
try not to, but.

Speaker 3 (51:06):
Everyone's explosive, explosive thoughts when I have like like a
cup of.

Speaker 4 (51:15):
Homics ummens wummans.

Speaker 3 (51:19):
Woman's fucking it's it's like Niagara falls coming out of me.
It's bad homus and coffee. Mine, it's fucking thunderous.

Speaker 2 (51:31):
Mine is simple, simple green grapes. That's all green grapes
for whatever reason. And I love my green grapes. You know,
you know I'm such a I'm gonna pat myself on
the back. I am such a a great father.

Speaker 1 (51:50):
No, I'm going good. It'll be up to the kids
to decide if if it was great or not good.

Speaker 2 (51:55):
I'm such a.

Speaker 1 (51:56):
Good father that when my kids, when I smell of
fart in the car when we're driving back and forth
to the ocean, I know which kid did it?

Speaker 2 (52:09):
See this guy's rage baiting right now? Are you missing
teeth though? I'm not.

Speaker 4 (52:16):
Is it because they're male female, or it's because you
know what they like to eat?

Speaker 1 (52:19):
It's their diet. One likes one like sugar a little
more so. His his thoughts, That's why I know the
fat pill doesn't work. His his fots are are a
bit on the a bit on the sweet side, with
with the combo of the of the actual butt gas. Hey, Ron,
you I gotta tell you one thing, because you brought

(52:41):
up a memory from Opi and Anthony. My dear friend
Tim Sabien. He he was a god in the radio world.
He also is trying to reinvent himself and it's it's
it's it's not easy out here these days.

Speaker 2 (52:55):
But back in the day he was going into like
uh like uh kind of well.

Speaker 1 (53:02):
He had friends, I should say that had products that
he needed pushing. So he brought these products to the
Opie and Anthony show. Now hear me out because we
got to say this carefully. His friend had a product
very similar to your fart thing, but it was a
product that you take so you're so your your front side,

(53:25):
your front side when you're when you're when you're bumping uglies.
The the after product of bumping uglies would taste a
certain way. This guy swore that he had a product
that could make that taste nice and sweet. We thought
he was out of his f in mind, but we
took his money and we we did those live reads
and we made stupid money off this guy.

Speaker 2 (53:47):
But that was the thing he came up with, like
you would apply it supposedly. I think it was I'm
trying to even remember. I think it was a pill.

Speaker 1 (53:59):
You you took the pill, and then and then when
you're uh you know, then when you're in the bedroom
there and after the fact and uh you know, if
if if the person chose to uh to uh you know, partake,
they would uh it would taste like something nice.

Speaker 2 (54:18):
This guy's her.

Speaker 1 (54:20):
Yeah man on her end, but you know it's also
twenty twenty five, so it could be on his end.

Speaker 3 (54:25):
Let's well, no, because if you talk like like I've
heard gay men talk about how careful care.

Speaker 4 (54:36):
The seed. The seed can know the seed. The seed
has many tastes and many odors.

Speaker 2 (54:43):
Careful And what's on my hand?

Speaker 4 (54:49):
The mock of the devil.

Speaker 2 (54:51):
No, it's a stupid thorn that I had to get
out of my stupid dog. When we walk about.

Speaker 1 (54:55):
East he gets these prickly little balls all in his
paws and it's it's an nightmare to get out there.

Speaker 2 (55:01):
Like needles.

Speaker 4 (55:02):
But go ahead, what was I saying?

Speaker 2 (55:05):
You know what, let's stop about the seed?

Speaker 3 (55:09):
Oh no, but if you eat like green weasy vegetables
has a sweet taste, okay, okay, And if you eat
other fruits, it has a bitter taste.

Speaker 1 (55:19):
Yeah, okay, okay, okay, but this guy had a product
that he swore that he could make it all taste good.

Speaker 2 (55:24):
Let's just put it that way, all right, ron Man,
we didn't even do anything. Man, What did we do today?
What did we learn today? And we had we had?
We had Richie Ritchie wanted to do who to man?

Speaker 1 (55:35):
Today?

Speaker 2 (55:37):
We learned that Jimmy Fallon is way too.

Speaker 1 (55:39):
Happy and everything he touches turns to gold, and he's
such a lovely human being and a nice person that
his favorite Christmas gift of all.

Speaker 2 (55:49):
Time was his mom's ugly knitted blue scarf.

Speaker 4 (55:57):
You know what we should do, Opie.

Speaker 3 (55:59):
We should get to a fund me so you can
pay Opie's go fund me Christmas go fund me for
the workers, Oh, you know, for.

Speaker 2 (56:07):
All these people saying I'm cheap and this and that,
because how about you give me Christmas tips? Yeah, exactly.
You're not gonna do it, right, of course, not. That
would be a good exercise.

Speaker 1 (56:20):
We should get Christmas tips, meet Christmas tips and run
the wayter Christmas tips, and then you'll understand what I
go through.

Speaker 3 (56:27):
We should get Christmas tips for entertaining America were like
fucking Bob Hall entertaining the trups do dig you know
what's ah, my friend?

Speaker 2 (56:43):
Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh do you
know the story?

Speaker 4 (56:49):
You're ready for the northeaster.

Speaker 2 (56:52):
Uh yeah, I guess they've already.

Speaker 4 (56:54):
They're already closing schools upstate.

Speaker 1 (56:57):
Well, we're gonna get a lot of snow north and
west of the city today. The city's gonna get a
lot of rain.

Speaker 3 (57:03):
It looks like Boston Cocking, New Hampshire. They're predicted to
get a foot of snow right, we're just getting rain.

Speaker 1 (57:14):
I know, I said that I would love to have
a nice, wonderful snowstorm. I love snowstorms.

Speaker 3 (57:21):
Twenty years ago this would be a major snowstorm. It's
just not it's just not cold enough anymore. It's just
not cold enough anymore.

Speaker 1 (57:30):
How many superchats does z Opie get, Well, we don't
really push the super chats like other live streamers.

Speaker 2 (57:35):
With that said, some dude gave us.

Speaker 1 (57:39):
Twenty dolls today, and you know, the diners on me, Ron,
come on, come on over, let's let's go eat at
the Dina.

Speaker 2 (57:46):
The meals on me, Ron, we made twenty Olympia Olympia. Sure,
Olympia Dina is nice. No, we probably made rob We
might have made thirty dollars today. That's it, right, I mean,
we don't push for super chats.

Speaker 3 (57:59):
You know.

Speaker 1 (58:00):
If people are want to do that, you know, trust me,
it's it's appreciated, but we don't. We try not to push,
and I try not to rely on the chat as
much because there's just a bunch of just haters in there,
like just fucking, as you say, rage baiting. So I
don't pay attention to the chat as much as I
used to. But yeah, that's I think it's a stupid concept.

Speaker 2 (58:23):
You know, if that's all you got.

Speaker 1 (58:26):
Everyone has social media accounts, and if that's all you
got to offer the world is to just fucking rage
bait someone, you know, just shut off your accounts.

Speaker 2 (58:34):
It's not impressed when everyone's doing it. It's not impressive,
it really, you.

Speaker 3 (58:39):
Know, rage bait Back in the day before the Internet,
it was like crank calls, right.

Speaker 2 (58:47):
Trying to think what rage baiting.

Speaker 1 (58:49):
I know, rage baiting back in the day was you
just would just haul off and clock somewhere in between
the eyes.

Speaker 2 (58:56):
Yeah, and it was accepted. You know what our parents
would do. What did you do what did you do? Nowadays?
That's it out right. I'm going to the school right now.
But back in the day, if we got hit by
another kid, our parents would go what did you do?

Speaker 1 (59:16):
What?

Speaker 4 (59:17):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (59:17):
And then they would go, well, you know what, you
kind of deserve that. That's how we grew up.

Speaker 4 (59:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (59:23):
But now these guys they can hide behind their keyboards
with fake names and rage bait all day long, which
I say is not impressive because everyone could do it.

Speaker 2 (59:34):
All right, Ron, I think that's it for today because
I gotta go.

Speaker 3 (59:38):
All right, Uh, just one, just just quickly. Are you
meeting with your sexy therapist today?

Speaker 2 (59:45):
I believe so, either today or tomorrow.

Speaker 4 (59:48):
Maybe today's the day it actually happens. She coddles you.

Speaker 2 (59:51):
She no, it'll be a phone call because she's oh,
you don't do it person. Well, maybe we can zoom.
We could zoom if you're.

Speaker 3 (01:00:02):
Going to zoom me your therapist and she's sexy. I
know for a fact you're fixing your hair. You want
to have a night shirt on. But you want to
you know what I mean, you get it's like you're
getting ready for a show. I want to look good
for my therapist. Maybe so fall in love with me.

Speaker 2 (01:00:15):
You want to look, I mean your mommy.

Speaker 4 (01:00:19):
Now have you ever have you ever come on, you're
a man you fantasized?

Speaker 3 (01:00:24):
No, no, no, I mean, dude, if you want me
to say it, you're not going to get in probable
with your wife.

Speaker 2 (01:00:30):
Just fuck. She would laugh at it.

Speaker 1 (01:00:33):
But my point is I try to keep it real,
like it's more the bomb thing is more fun than
not the reality is no, of course not.

Speaker 2 (01:00:42):
Oh but she is sexy. She is sexy.

Speaker 4 (01:00:47):
Suxy therapist. Now I'm thinking Lorraine Bronco and the Sopranos.

Speaker 2 (01:00:53):
Well do you feel that way?

Speaker 4 (01:00:59):
What is her doctor?

Speaker 2 (01:01:00):
What doctor who gives a ship?

Speaker 4 (01:01:04):
Doctor who gives this ship? I my tummy, I got
weird feelings in my tummy.

Speaker 1 (01:01:09):
It was the worst part of Sopranos, him sitting in
that stupid big right, why did you do that?

Speaker 2 (01:01:15):
Shut up? But get back to the clocking of heads. Oh,
get back to the blood and.

Speaker 1 (01:01:21):
The gore and throwing people in swimming pools and shooting
him in the back of the head and dumping him
in the fucking woods. Right, hippy, Oh great, fast forward.

Speaker 4 (01:01:33):
Probably, I would have to say in my opin to
the best show ever on television.

Speaker 3 (01:01:37):
It's one of those shows where you could binge watch
the entire day and not get fucking bored.

Speaker 2 (01:01:42):
Ah, there's a there's a better show than the Sopranos
that was on HBO. Absolutely, there was a better show
than the Sopranos that was on HBO.

Speaker 4 (01:01:50):
The Wire, Yes, yes, that's fucking that.

Speaker 2 (01:01:56):
And you know what, we could argue this hot take
coming in.

Speaker 1 (01:01:59):
Thank you, We should argue this obviously, but uh, you
know that's that that that show is right up there.

Speaker 2 (01:02:08):
Oh my god, oh my god.

Speaker 3 (01:02:11):
All right, ron, you know, just quickly The Wire before
the Wire, the show that kind of really was like,
whoa is this really?

Speaker 4 (01:02:20):
Is this really on network television? It's so edgy? Was
NYPD Blue Remember when that first came out?

Speaker 1 (01:02:27):
I was like, whoa, Yeah, but that I bet you
if you go back and watch that, it feels dated
now that it would all these shows that are more
gritty and more realistic.

Speaker 2 (01:02:39):
I bet your shows like that kind of look a bit.

Speaker 4 (01:02:41):
It would look standardized.

Speaker 3 (01:02:42):
Now.

Speaker 2 (01:02:44):
Artless Artist is the greatest HBO show. I pray you're
making fun where Wolf hartless Jesus.

Speaker 3 (01:02:54):
Artless Jesus, that's a fucking that's that's out of left field.

Speaker 4 (01:03:00):
Remember r Less, that was Robert Wall.

Speaker 2 (01:03:04):
I hated Robert Wall. I never really I never liked
anything he did. I never liked the Robert Wall.

Speaker 3 (01:03:10):
All right, Ron, we gotta go, all right, everybody, I
gotta get ready for the snowstorm.

Speaker 1 (01:03:17):
Oh yeah, yeah, we've got a nor little nor east
coming our way. If you missed any of this, you
know we make uh, we make uh, we make some shekels.
If you download these episodes off the Opie radio podcast
of Feet, okay, even if you watch the whole thing,
just it'll be up there in a little while, downloaded,

(01:03:37):
and just push play and walk away.

Speaker 2 (01:03:39):
I don't care, you know, get it playing.

Speaker 3 (01:03:42):
You know, you're not the only one that had your mother.
You have brothers and sisters. Are they also that struggling?
Are they also in therapy because of this.

Speaker 4 (01:03:53):
Your mother? Are you the only one?

Speaker 2 (01:03:56):
I don't know? I mean, I don't know. It's pretty personal. Obviously.
I know a few of them have dipped in a therapy,
and I think.

Speaker 1 (01:04:04):
I think in general broad strokes what I'm feeling they're
feeling in general, have you.

Speaker 4 (01:04:11):
All gotten together since your mother passed away?

Speaker 1 (01:04:14):
We're group texting a little bit, you know, But in general,
I think we're all feeling the same ship and we
all we all made the same, very tough decision.

Speaker 2 (01:04:24):
I wasn't the only one man by the end.

Speaker 1 (01:04:28):
By the by the end, everyone had their uh, their
their borders up there there whatever their their their their boundaries.

Speaker 4 (01:04:39):
So what what what happens? Now? You the cremated, what
do you do? You have a funeral, you bury her?

Speaker 1 (01:04:46):
What?

Speaker 4 (01:04:46):
What what happens?

Speaker 3 (01:04:47):
Uh?

Speaker 2 (01:04:48):
Yeah, I think she's probably already in the in the ground.

Speaker 4 (01:04:52):
What do you mean you think?

Speaker 1 (01:04:54):
I'm telling you, dude, it's as bad as it getst
I think she's in the ground.

Speaker 2 (01:04:58):
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (01:04:59):
Isn't that up to the family? Yeah? So what like,
Oh so you don't deal with it.

Speaker 2 (01:05:05):
None of us are dealing with it in a way.

Speaker 4 (01:05:08):
Yeah, but isn't it the family's decision to cremator or
a barrier?

Speaker 2 (01:05:12):
We made a decision, Uh, cremation and burial.

Speaker 1 (01:05:17):
I know exactly where she's gonna be, and I'll I'll
definitely go there and uh and then'll be that.

Speaker 3 (01:05:24):
Okay, So you didn't have like everyone at the fucking cemetery.

Speaker 4 (01:05:28):
She's in the ground. There's a priest.

Speaker 2 (01:05:31):
No, it was as bad as it gainst.

Speaker 1 (01:05:33):
It's sad, Ron, It's a very sad fucking story. All right,
I gotta go though, for real, I'm not off. We
could talk about that the next one.

Speaker 4 (01:05:42):
All right, all right, everybody have a good day.

Speaker 1 (01:05:45):
That's my friend, Ron the waiter. He's Ron Berman Comedy
on all the socials. He would appreciate if a few
of you would start following him. Look at his dreamy eyes.
They're dreamy.

Speaker 3 (01:05:55):
Arow, everybody, follow me, follow me to my baby. I
got a brand new bed.

Speaker 1 (01:06:01):
By the way, did you finally say, oh you did
set up to bed? I saw your I saw your
uh uh, your your picture. You were going with the
Burt Reynolds pose.

Speaker 3 (01:06:14):
I was trying to recreate the Donald Trump pose in
the bathrobe.

Speaker 4 (01:06:19):
You remember that. You see that picture?

Speaker 2 (01:06:21):
Yeah, I've seen that. Oh that's where that was from.

Speaker 3 (01:06:23):
Okay, all right, So I was trying to replicate the
Donald Trump pose in bed. And if you look closely,
my roommate pointed this out, the pillowcases behind him are
little strawberry shortcakes.

Speaker 4 (01:06:36):
It's a girl's bed.

Speaker 3 (01:06:37):
He's on a girl's bed because the bed streets and
the and the pillowcases are little strawberry shortcakes.

Speaker 4 (01:06:44):
He's on a girl's bed.

Speaker 2 (01:06:45):
You might have just took the picture of his daughter's
room or something.

Speaker 1 (01:06:47):
I could defend him a little bit, that's right.

Speaker 3 (01:06:53):
Right, right.

Speaker 2 (01:06:55):
Trump's got a big announcement today at two. Oh god,
what is he doing now? That's how we end? What
is he doing now?

Speaker 4 (01:07:02):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (01:07:03):
By the way, I got some inside info. I know
what he's gonna say. What Venezuela is now the fifty
third state.

Speaker 2 (01:07:10):
I think we're going in hard with n We are going.

Speaker 4 (01:07:12):
To dude, it's a distraction. We're going in.

Speaker 2 (01:07:14):
Of course, it's a distraction. I'm praying that he announces
the alien thing that would rule.

Speaker 4 (01:07:20):
Hey, by the way, what what's going on with the
Epstein files? They passed the law to release the files,
and now we don't hear shiit.

Speaker 1 (01:07:29):
No, it's because probably people, probably the people that really
want to release read the files, went off.

Speaker 2 (01:07:35):
This would this would pretty much end the world. All right,
we got to bury it for another twenty years.

Speaker 3 (01:07:40):
Why do you think Marjorie Taylor Green resigned? She saw
what's in the files. Her champion, Donald Trump is front
and center. Dude, that that was her champion, and then
he called her a trader, right right, At least he
didn't call her a little piggy.

Speaker 2 (01:07:57):
What are you gonna do? All right, I gotta go,
I gotta go, and.

Speaker 4 (01:08:00):
I'll say that before I go. There's something kind of hot.