Mark Normand Carl Ruiz Doug Benson Rich Vos - Best and Last Year of Radio

Mark Normand, Carl Ruiz, Doug Benson, Rich Vos, Dr. Steve 4/6

Just dropped one of the funniest Opie Radio episodes ever recorded – absolute chaos with Rich Vos getting destroyed every 30 seconds, Mark Normand dropping killer one-liners, Doug Benson high as hell riffing on everything, the late great Carl Ruiz telling insane chef stories, and Doctor Steve on the phone causing total mayhem. Non-stop roasts, belly laughs, and classic Opie energy from the SiriusXM days. If you love real, unfiltered comedy where anything can happen, you NEED this in your life right now. Turn it up and try not to spit your drink out.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Roopie is here and his show starts.

Speaker 2 (00:05):
Yes, beautiful rancid Ruby. Soho, that's how we start today,
and we welcome Rich Voss and Doug Benson to the show.

Speaker 1 (00:12):
Who was that that was a good song? I just said.

Speaker 2 (00:15):
He just just said.

Speaker 3 (00:16):
Do you like that song?

Speaker 4 (00:17):
And I mean you obviously like the song you were
singing along, But is it why today?

Speaker 3 (00:21):
What's the significance?

Speaker 2 (00:22):
I figured, Uh, you know, it's a rainy, shitty day
in New York. Everyone seems a little down in the dumps.
Let's like make it nice and uh a nice upbeat song,
no fun song. I was we were looking for a
fun song today.

Speaker 5 (00:37):
You know what gets me like when people say everyone's
down in the dutche Just like when like when say,
like a fat person is talking to another person that's
not fat and says, oh, we got to start eating better.
You do like, I'm not down in the dumps. I'm
in a good mood today.

Speaker 3 (00:50):
I ever seen dog in a while?

Speaker 5 (00:52):
Uh uh three weeks ago in south By, Southwest. I
haven't savageing Doug with his eyes opening in a while.
I seen I haven't been in here and like very excited.

Speaker 2 (01:05):
No, because other people that I talked to before I
ran it to you, and you're just an amazing, upbeat person.
They were kind of tired of feeling it too. There dumps,
not in the dumps. It's just this rain is just
shitty today. You know, it's cold and then there's fog
and rain and you're like a knuff already. You want
spring to hit.

Speaker 5 (01:22):
It was cold and the rain, and you felt like
an actor, and you thought of mom and you wanted
to get back there.

Speaker 1 (01:27):
Tell me what who sings that song? Wow?

Speaker 2 (01:31):
Say that again?

Speaker 5 (01:32):
It was cold and it rained, and I felt like
an actor, and I thought of Mom, and I wanted
to get back to your.

Speaker 1 (01:37):
Face, your place. Do you know what?

Speaker 2 (01:41):
Can you sing it for us?

Speaker 6 (01:43):
No?

Speaker 3 (01:43):
Keep going?

Speaker 1 (01:44):
You know more?

Speaker 5 (01:45):
Five years?

Speaker 1 (01:46):
Stuck on my eyes? Five years? What a surprise?

Speaker 3 (01:52):
Five? That's all we got? Five?

Speaker 7 (01:55):
Mom?

Speaker 3 (01:55):
Pray hurts a lot mine too.

Speaker 2 (01:58):
How do you know David Bowie?

Speaker 7 (02:00):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (02:01):
How did you know it was David Bowie?

Speaker 2 (02:02):
Because I've been doing music radio forever. Yeah, although that
song they didn't really play on the radio.

Speaker 3 (02:08):
What was it called?

Speaker 2 (02:09):
Five years? Wow? You could recite five years from David Bowie.
That's pretty impressive.

Speaker 1 (02:15):
That's a great song.

Speaker 2 (02:16):
Huh yeah, we we already fucked with each other on
the Instagram live before the show today.

Speaker 5 (02:21):
But who was that song that we led into? I'm
sorry I missed it.

Speaker 1 (02:24):
Rancid Ruby soho.

Speaker 5 (02:27):
That's the name of the song, right, But who's Rancid
so famous?

Speaker 3 (02:33):
He thought you thought his question was Rancid.

Speaker 2 (02:36):
Right, Like when you say David Bowie five years so
I said Rancid Ruby.

Speaker 1 (02:42):
Soho. Oh, my buttons.

Speaker 2 (02:52):
I'm trying not to bust your buttons. You're fucking frustrated.
He's talking about o c D. You were talking about
OCD because you have to sit in that seat, even
though Doug Benson has been sitting in that seat all week.

Speaker 3 (03:05):
Can I've been sitting the seat for thirteen years.

Speaker 1 (03:08):
He's got you there.

Speaker 2 (03:10):
He beat on that one, But then he had announced
that he has OCD and that's why he has to
sit here, because this is where he sits every time.
And then all of a sudden he's like, where's my umbrella?

Speaker 1 (03:19):
I don't know where my umbrella is?

Speaker 2 (03:21):
Well, you figure out where the umbrella is. Here's your thing.

Speaker 5 (03:24):
Like when I perform, I like to walk on a
stage from from the right side. No, the left side,
in the left side, from the left side, if you
have a side you like to walk on to, yeah,
generally the side where you know the way the theater our.

Speaker 4 (03:40):
Club is set up that they that they make you
walk to the stage from.

Speaker 5 (03:44):
You don't feel better coming from one or the other.

Speaker 4 (03:45):
I'll tell you one thing I really like is I
don't like places where you just appear on stage, like
in a comedy club.

Speaker 3 (03:52):
I should say in a theater, you know, what are
you going to do? But in a comedy club, I
think you should like. I like the clubs where you
enter through the crowd.

Speaker 1 (03:58):
Oh nice.

Speaker 4 (03:59):
I don't think you should just appear on stage, because
that doesn't then they're just the clapping stops immediately.

Speaker 3 (04:04):
If you just suddenly out there, you know, and.

Speaker 5 (04:06):
They think they're seeing David Blaine, Yeah.

Speaker 4 (04:08):
Yeah, he gives them a reason to, like, you know,
build up to that moment, and you're also more of
a person of the people that way.

Speaker 2 (04:13):
I was gonna say, you want to high five your
way all the way to the stage.

Speaker 3 (04:16):
You're just gonna talk to them, You're not gonna get up. Well,
I don't do.

Speaker 1 (04:20):
I might I might fist.

Speaker 4 (04:21):
Bump one or two okay to all those people touch
a those people would be up stage for an hour
thinking about I touched all those people.

Speaker 3 (04:29):
I can't wait to.

Speaker 8 (04:30):
Wash my hands.

Speaker 2 (04:30):
I thought, you want to give your Lebron James and
impersonation and this kind of high five everybody.

Speaker 1 (04:35):
I hate you, hate Lebron James.

Speaker 5 (04:37):
I hate touching, even on stage when you say something
someone in the front row and watch the high five.

Speaker 1 (04:42):
You like one of my fucking twelve. Fuck off.

Speaker 3 (04:45):
I don't like that.

Speaker 1 (04:46):
I don't like my fans.

Speaker 2 (04:47):
And then I noticed we went upstairs and got coffee.

Speaker 1 (04:50):
You want to talk about OCD.

Speaker 2 (04:52):
You've said on this show that you have to open
up a brand new carton and milk.

Speaker 1 (04:55):
Yeah, why not?

Speaker 2 (04:55):
Because you don't trust anybody or anything. Yeah, and I
actually saw him do that.

Speaker 1 (05:00):
Yeah, what smart? Why is it smart?

Speaker 3 (05:03):
Here?

Speaker 1 (05:03):
What does some of the milk cartons sit there for
a while and they get.

Speaker 2 (05:08):
You know, right away, as soon as you pour it.

Speaker 5 (05:10):
If the milk is you know, there's not some disgruntled employee.
Maybe he's not happy with the company. Maybe I don't know,
got moved to the after you know what I mean.
He doesn't make someone happy here and you don't know
what you're gonna do.

Speaker 1 (05:23):
I'm gonna pour this coffee on your head.

Speaker 3 (05:25):
No, it's not only coffee, it's hot kilo.

Speaker 2 (05:29):
He made fun of the fact that I blended today.
I couldn't even blind without disasshole attacking me. Wait and
then he pulls out a fresh thing of milk and
then he puts it to his ear because he has
to make sure he could hear the seal being broken
to guarantee that actually no one has opened the milk yet.

Speaker 1 (05:47):
Right, that's weird, dude, It's not weird. It's it's weird.
Man safe, you know what. And this is a dog.

Speaker 3 (05:56):
This is a fucked up for me.

Speaker 1 (05:57):
You know, you play a judge on TV. Is weird
or what?

Speaker 3 (06:01):
I don't like to judge in general? No, that's a bottomy. Listen,
everybody has their own.

Speaker 2 (06:06):
I want Doug to tell me if that's weird or not.

Speaker 5 (06:09):
It's not to Doug because Doug is easy going, like
nothing really bothers him. I have a lot of shit
on my fucking mind. Right all right, Now, here's my theory.
Like if a kid will go into a fucking school
or somewhere or a mall and shoot up people. What
stops that same fucking idiot from putting fucking two hits

(06:31):
a blotter acid in my phone?

Speaker 4 (06:35):
An interesting point, only on the weekdays. He'll drink anything
on the weekend. But yeah, I just I, like you said,
it's probably maybe the more easygoing thing that keeps me
from I just don't spend two much time being concerned
about blotter acid. Well, those kind of pranks where it's
just like somebody puts something in something and then leaves

(06:58):
it there and goes away, and you know, like why
would you You're not there for the results. You don't
get to see what happens when a person drinks it.
And it's also you don't get to it's not aimed
at any specific person.

Speaker 5 (07:10):
Well what, Well, me and my phene were in a restaurant.
It's just when it really started. We were in a
restaurant and he had were we both had a Burger
deluxeous with fries and on your rings back in the day,
and he was pouring ketchup and a fly came out.
So somebody had to put that fly in there, because
no fly is going to fly into a little bottle
of ketchup. Somebody a fly came out and there was

(07:33):
a whole big fly and it came out, so somebody.

Speaker 1 (07:37):
Put it in there.

Speaker 2 (07:37):
I would not send the burger back, and I would
eat the burger with because.

Speaker 1 (07:42):
You were poor as a kid and you were happy
to have fries.

Speaker 2 (07:44):
I think we've all been poisoned at restaurants on purpose
by disgruntled employees.

Speaker 3 (07:48):
But you don't send it flies.

Speaker 2 (07:51):
But you don't know about it. I guarantee you a
whole bunch of people have had a booger on their
on their food from a disgruntled guy in the back,
and you.

Speaker 5 (08:00):
You still ate it and had no guys in the
back of the radio host too, Is that what you're saying?

Speaker 3 (08:05):
How do you compare to buggers?

Speaker 2 (08:06):
I've been better with my.

Speaker 1 (08:10):
I was better.

Speaker 3 (08:11):
I was the other day.

Speaker 5 (08:12):
I was in at the mall and there's a guy
standing right in the middle of the mall and he
got his finger.

Speaker 1 (08:17):
I mean, so right in the middle.

Speaker 3 (08:18):
I want to walk up there and go, do you
know where you're at?

Speaker 1 (08:20):
What the fuck is wrong with you?

Speaker 2 (08:22):
But you know how good that feels when you're scraping
the back wall and getting some stuff them.

Speaker 3 (08:26):
All in front of all the people.

Speaker 5 (08:28):
Because those people from people from Europe like to pick
their face and they're picky why Europe.

Speaker 1 (08:33):
And there's something about.

Speaker 3 (08:34):
It because I guess it's accepted over.

Speaker 5 (08:37):
There, but not in front of me, it's not.

Speaker 1 (08:39):
Okay.

Speaker 5 (08:39):
Well, if you ever been in a restaurant somebody blows
their nose, I you blows their nose while you're eating.

Speaker 1 (08:45):
That doesn't drive you crazy.

Speaker 2 (08:46):
Where they blowing their nose right next to you at
another table, at a table where you could hear it.

Speaker 4 (08:51):
I don't care about it as long as it's like
this is. We are all right now. You can blow
your nose all you want. It wouldn't bother me.

Speaker 3 (08:57):
I sit here and I ate a whole I eat
some sort of the green colored soup while you did it.

Speaker 1 (09:03):
I see like a piece of soup piece.

Speaker 3 (09:06):
Okay, I don't, but you know what I mean.

Speaker 4 (09:09):
Like we're far enough away, but you know some of
the tables, you're like right next to somebody that that
might be gross.

Speaker 2 (09:15):
Look, my wife won't complain to restaurants because she's paranoid
and worried that they're gonna do some ship in the back.
And I'm like, it was an honest mistake.

Speaker 1 (09:21):
They're not going to care.

Speaker 4 (09:22):
But they can only do ship to the level where
when you eat it, you're not going to be like, oh,
there's fucking ship in my food. So it's like so
nobody wins, Like nobody gets anything.

Speaker 2 (09:32):
I bet you that a whole bunch of people have
eaten stuff and had no idea. Absolutely, but the cook
is leaning over, you know, peeking around the.

Speaker 4 (09:40):
Cook and just eating it, and they're not making enough
milk because they can't taste it.

Speaker 2 (09:43):
Yeah, but the cook is laughing his ass off because
because he knows he put the.

Speaker 3 (09:47):
Tell the other guys or the waiter or whatever, and.

Speaker 2 (09:49):
You're not tasting, going, oh my god, there's obviously a
bog line my food.

Speaker 3 (09:54):
Look online.

Speaker 5 (09:55):
There was a lady in a Chinese restaurant.

Speaker 3 (09:58):
I bet it's online.

Speaker 1 (09:58):
There's a lady that she we go.

Speaker 5 (10:00):
Yeah, she sued them in the Chinese restaurant and she
sent her food back and like all these employees uh
jerked off in her food and she got real shick
and all this, and she should I it's online.

Speaker 4 (10:11):
That's what I'm saying is when they when it's that disgusting,
it's gonna there's gonna be a cause. And effect, whereas
most of the time it's just something where the person
kind of giggles, like I knew I spit on their food,
but you don't notice. How are you gonna make your
spit on a cheeseburger? You have eaten so disgusted.

Speaker 3 (10:28):
I never have because I'm very pleasant.

Speaker 5 (10:33):
Before I ordered, I walk in, I addressed the cook
a chef, and I say, I heard good things about you.

Speaker 3 (10:39):
I throw them some money, and.

Speaker 4 (10:40):
Then I said, oh, you start tipping everybody a little
of hands.

Speaker 2 (10:43):
Right when I walk in, I'm going to ruin your
milk thing. By the way, you open up a brandow
milk broke the seal. You were listening for it, right,
m what about hyperdermic needles.

Speaker 1 (10:53):
That's how it is.

Speaker 5 (10:55):
You do squeeze, Yeah, you'll, you'll you squeeze it. I'm
flying that that's free w exqueeze and potato chips or cupcakes.
So if you hear no.

Speaker 3 (11:05):
Thank you know they shot fucking this is on my sheeting.
Shot a bit, but this is true.

Speaker 5 (11:10):
I've opened shoulder before or water or whatever, and then
like a couple months later, forgot that I opened it
or not, and I brought it back to stores going, hey,
this was hoping.

Speaker 2 (11:20):
I was the asshole in high school that for the
shock value, I would take the gum from under the desk,
and when the teacher was turned around, I would eat
it and then got a huge reaction from the.

Speaker 1 (11:31):
Other people's gum.

Speaker 2 (11:32):
Yeah, the stuff that's dried up.

Speaker 3 (11:36):
He was poor and you didn't do that.

Speaker 2 (11:40):
Yeah, I did for the reaction, and then everyone would
would be all sorts of freaked out, and then the
teacher would turn around and then we'd all, you know,
make believe nothing's going on.

Speaker 1 (11:50):
Yeah, that was my thing. Oh, I was known for
that for a little while.

Speaker 4 (11:53):
Rich you must be driven crazy by how disgusting other
comedians are, like, especially in the earlier days of your
career when you'd have to share a condo or something
with some of those people.

Speaker 5 (12:03):
And I was in his you know, I didn't have
as much to lose back then. Okay, okay, so you
know what I mean. I built a little steak and uh,
and I was kind of grossed out at times.

Speaker 3 (12:18):
I never liked to sharing those spaces with people now,
but I stopped.

Speaker 5 (12:22):
I mean, condos for me stopped. There's only one condo
I'll ever stay in now. If I work is myrtle beach.
If I do it because it's nice and it's you know,
I want to cook when I'm just there to play golf.

Speaker 3 (12:34):
Anyhow do you ever do comedy works in Denver?

Speaker 1 (12:36):
No, she hates me.

Speaker 3 (12:37):
I'll be there May fourteenth.

Speaker 5 (12:38):
You want to have a funny story, You want to
hear a funny story, as long.

Speaker 4 (12:41):
As it doesn't affect my May fourteenth. So she fucking
hates me for some reason. So, uh, I worked.

Speaker 5 (12:50):
I did a show with this guy, Jim Kerns or
whatever from in Denver.

Speaker 2 (12:54):
You know who he is, or you know the part
where you said whatever whatever.

Speaker 5 (13:00):
Yeah, I don't think this story is gonna stink anyhow,
there's no reason to tell it all right?

Speaker 3 (13:05):
Anyhow, well, Jesus teller.

Speaker 2 (13:08):
So I got a guy that doesence.

Speaker 5 (13:11):
Is that his name? Funny guy? And he does a
podcast with the owner from the Denver who doesn't like me. Said,
I did too much crowd work on Halloween weekend one
year when they were dressing costumes. I did a guy
in black face. I did crowdworth to a guy in blackface.
What are the odds that's hilarious? So he said, that's
a great story. Oh I'm sorry, you know what, it's

(13:34):
not as good as gum under the table.

Speaker 2 (13:37):
Say the coming to the table was amazing.

Speaker 1 (13:39):
I'm just saying, like all ship doesn't bother me.

Speaker 2 (13:42):
He had I had a good bathroom in it No.

Speaker 5 (13:46):
If I do, I wipe it down, complete orthory.

Speaker 3 (13:51):
Why not?

Speaker 2 (13:52):
I don't even I don't even wipe down. Get the
fuck out, take a look, make sure there's nothing, you know.

Speaker 5 (13:57):
I wipe down and then on the toilet, and then
I also bring in wet towel for my heiney because
I gotta clean my you know, I got a water down.

Speaker 1 (14:07):
Hey, listen, you gotta water down your heiney.

Speaker 5 (14:10):
I wipe regular, then I do water, and then another
regular whipe so I don't get the itches later on
in the day.

Speaker 2 (14:18):
What's wrong with you? You don't clean yourself. I've been
known to dip in the toilet water if I have
class I dip in the toilet water with the with
the toilet paper. If I'm having a rough one.

Speaker 5 (14:30):
Well, you know, here's the thing about people don't know
this about public restrooms.

Speaker 3 (14:34):
What really gets you sick.

Speaker 5 (14:35):
It's not it's not the ball, it's when you flush
all the old fecal matter flies in the air, little
particles there.

Speaker 3 (14:42):
That's why you gotta stand there and take a real
big whip.

Speaker 1 (14:45):
Yes, that's what flies. That's what you get sick.

Speaker 2 (14:47):
That's what you're worried about.

Speaker 1 (14:48):
That too, No, because I run out when I'm done crazy.
That's what gets you sick.

Speaker 4 (14:54):
Well, that's why those ones that are automatic are great,
because it's when you walk away then it flushes.

Speaker 1 (14:58):
And here's a trick.

Speaker 2 (15:00):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 3 (15:04):
Is somebody on the line.

Speaker 1 (15:05):
Yeah, he wants to talk? Who is it?

Speaker 3 (15:08):
Hold on, I gonna put my head.

Speaker 2 (15:09):
From Mark Dorman.

Speaker 1 (15:11):
What's what happened? Rickles?

Speaker 3 (15:15):
We want to take a little time, a little met
time when he heard that.

Speaker 1 (15:18):
Little meat time? Who knew the key is staying alive?
As an old comedian is raping?

Speaker 2 (15:23):
Oh for one because cosmy back it geez wow yeah out.

Speaker 3 (15:29):
Some horrible Rickles allegation just died.

Speaker 2 (15:35):
Hey rich that ra from nineteen seventy eight, he ran
Nancy Sinantra. We got Tony on the line, Tony in
New York. Go ahead, Oh here we go, Tony.

Speaker 9 (15:49):
Hey, listen, I used to work. I op You're a
legend from from back in the day. Man, you're you
just keep rocking. But I used to work in a
fans food place and a guy was, you know, not
so nice.

Speaker 10 (16:00):
So I said, I'll making a special shake.

Speaker 9 (16:01):
I'll be back in a second. Hold on tight, step
off to the side, and he got a nice strawberry
shake of strawberry shake, phlim and a little bit of
pubic hair and uh, you probably never knew. We've never
done worse.

Speaker 10 (16:15):
But uh yeah, I'm telling you that's how it goes.

Speaker 1 (16:18):
Oh no, I believe it. He's very paranoid. And I
said that realistic, Thank you, Tony. I said that most people.

Speaker 2 (16:26):
Have eaten some uh some bad shit.

Speaker 4 (16:29):
If they found something they realized they're eating something like that,
then they would have a legitimate complaint and unlawsuit on
their hands.

Speaker 3 (16:35):
So the cook's got to be sneaky.

Speaker 2 (16:37):
Yeah, the cook gets pissed off, so he takes a
booger puts in the middle of your hamburger. You eat
it and have no idea. You just ate someone else's booger.
I guarantee that has happened so many times on the people.
Will you find a hair in your food at a restaurant?

Speaker 1 (16:49):
What do you do? I punched Bonnie, I just.

Speaker 2 (16:53):
Pull it out and I just keep eating.

Speaker 3 (16:55):
Well, she's still waiting tables.

Speaker 1 (16:58):
What what if I can the hair out?

Speaker 2 (17:01):
If I find a long hair going, yeah.

Speaker 1 (17:04):
I do the same thing, Yeah I do, right, Yeah,
what do I care?

Speaker 2 (17:06):
I figured they had a shower before they went to work, right,
Or pull the hair out, take eat like.

Speaker 3 (17:13):
Three quarters of it and then and then get another one.

Speaker 2 (17:17):
I mean, if it's a course curly one, then that's
a different story because that could be a nose hair
or a pubic hair.

Speaker 1 (17:22):
But if it's a nice long hair, I pull it
out and I keep going a little little like dark
curly curly hair. That's a scarier one because that's a pube, no,
or a black person. Oh, I got it.

Speaker 3 (17:36):
And you know what I'm saying, keeping Rickles alive with
that shoke.

Speaker 1 (17:39):
Yeah yeah, Rickles, I'm telling the truth. What goes on.

Speaker 2 (17:43):
I found out on the way in. Its just it's
freak you guys.

Speaker 1 (17:46):
Yeah, I thought you knew. No, I didn't know.

Speaker 2 (17:48):
And it was ninety man and one of the greatest right.

Speaker 1 (17:51):
Yeah, legend, Come on, he was politically Incorrectness is dead.
That's it, It's all over now.

Speaker 5 (17:58):
No, I saw I show him when I before, when
I was at Latin Casino in Kerry Hill and we
went to see him, just me and my friends, and
it was the funniest fucking thing we've ever seen yet.

Speaker 3 (18:08):
It was.

Speaker 2 (18:10):
Did you just say that Don Rickles was really funny?

Speaker 5 (18:12):
Shut up, I'm just saying that we ever seen at
that point in life. Well, I'm just saying it was
great to beat and see something like that before your
comic Yeah, you know what I mean. Okay, you know
it's just so cool. We saw Carlin before we were
comics too. But I'm just saying Don Rickles in the
fucking famous Latin Casino in Kerry Hill, but out of everybody, No,
he was up there singing, Fuck, I can't do this today.

Speaker 1 (18:36):
Come here the wrong old comic guy. No, no, come on,
I got hate frame d.

Speaker 2 (18:49):
Temmy was one of his greatest right was that his
first album?

Speaker 11 (18:52):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (18:52):
And then he had Yes Please or I don't remember
something please anymore.

Speaker 2 (18:55):
But Hey Tommy was definitely a classic yeah bummer.

Speaker 1 (18:59):
Speaking of the pew thing, can I just say this.
You know every person eats eighteen spiders a year on average.

Speaker 5 (19:05):
Let's talk about right, Thank you Google, everybody nobody.

Speaker 3 (19:09):
There's such small ones that can get into average into anything.

Speaker 2 (19:13):
Mark, can I explain, because you're just joining the program.
So we went and got coffee, and he said this
many times in the air that he can't you know,
when you're in a work environment. There's milk in the refrigerator,
he can't take one that's open. He has to find
with us not open. And then I watched him. He
puts it next to his ear and breaks the seal
so you can hear the seal breaking because he's so
paranoid that someone did something with the milk.

Speaker 4 (19:35):
And he squeezes it to make sure that there's no
poked holes in it.

Speaker 3 (19:38):
Because squeezes it, then stuff will shootout.

Speaker 1 (19:41):
Wow, this is coming from an ex crackhead who fucked
horse good. They weren't really horse prostitute.

Speaker 12 (19:51):
Because you paid for it a couple of bucks here,
all right, But then it leads right back to Mark
where he's saying the average person eats about eighteen spiders
a year.

Speaker 2 (20:03):
There's so much crap in your food because they've decided
they can't keep all the rat hair out. I know,
the spiders and the larvae, eggs or whatever the fuck
that they've they came up with a formula like they
will allow a certain amount.

Speaker 1 (20:15):
Well that's why.

Speaker 2 (20:15):
So we're all eating.

Speaker 5 (20:16):
Yeah, but if you're cooking your own food, you're boiling
it or or baking it out or you know what
I mean. So it's fucking you know, people are saying,
you know this this year that when you sleep, spiders
fall in.

Speaker 1 (20:29):
Your mouth or wherever. You know where that comes from.

Speaker 5 (20:31):
But if you're eating and cooking at home, I'm sure
you know, like there's no spiders jumping in your food
when you're you're dead, or burnt or fried, well not
fried in our house because we're healthy.

Speaker 3 (20:42):
Uh, you know, in a crock pot or something.

Speaker 1 (20:45):
Yeah, what about your kids? You can eat off your
kids and everything? What's that you mean? Like, like if
your kid has a eating a bowl of cereal, take
a spoonful.

Speaker 5 (20:54):
I don't go near my kids food.

Speaker 1 (20:56):
Really disgusting, little creepy. You don't take a bite off
a hamburger if they're eating it, need red meat? Oh ship?

Speaker 3 (21:02):
Okay, so the food examples you keep guessing foods that
he might share with someone, do you clean up their diarrhea?

Speaker 5 (21:12):
Well, first of all, what are you talking about? My
kid uses a toilet.

Speaker 2 (21:15):
Yeah, yeah, a diarrhea is what it is.

Speaker 3 (21:19):
Everyone.

Speaker 2 (21:19):
Everyone means to get to the toilet, but.

Speaker 5 (21:21):
Sometimes well, my kid has never fucking not made it
to the toilet.

Speaker 2 (21:25):
Even with their diarrhea.

Speaker 5 (21:27):
My kid doesn't get diarrhea because health, we feed our healthy.
Never once is my kid had diarrhea anywhere but maybe
the toilet.

Speaker 1 (21:34):
But I don't care. Get on the phone. I guarantee,
I guarantee everybody gets diarrhea.

Speaker 3 (21:39):
You know what the number one cause the diarrhea.

Speaker 1 (21:42):
Bam, I'm strong.

Speaker 4 (21:47):
As one of us said that, I'm happy.

Speaker 13 (21:48):
Yeah, your kid never had diarrhea, Yes, but not on
or in the toilet, Probably in the bed or maybe
on the couch or maybe while she was like just
sitting around playing.

Speaker 2 (22:05):
I'm sorry, diarrhea sneaks up on You.

Speaker 3 (22:08):
Know what about when you and Bonnie are old and
won What do you mean when we're somebody ships themselves
and it goes all over the place? Yeah, what are
you going to do?

Speaker 1 (22:19):
Then?

Speaker 3 (22:21):
Just end it all?

Speaker 1 (22:22):
You know?

Speaker 5 (22:23):
Uh, when I was a kid, I was you know,
when you get to cramps down here and you're going,
oh fuck, this is going to be paint.

Speaker 3 (22:31):
I was running.

Speaker 5 (22:32):
I asked my friend if I use his bathroom at
the playground. He said no, I fucking try to get home.
Then you killed over halfway private with the playground.

Speaker 1 (22:45):
Closer the sandbox that's at front. Yeah, well, dick, she
could come back.

Speaker 3 (22:53):
And I made it home.

Speaker 5 (22:54):
I run up to bed, and when I opened my
fucking pants to butt, it's just all over the f
I mean, it was like a fall over the floor,
the floor, there you go. But and also I used
to throw parties in the day, like house, you know,
cut school parties, and there'd be like twenty thirty people
in my and this one kid passed out in the

(23:14):
fucking tub. He shipped his pants everything right, So I
had these girls clean it, you know. Then it was
all cleaned and everything. But then my mom came home
and the house was all cleaned. Yeah, my mom came up.
When she turned the shower on the steam, the fucking
diary and the cracks the smell came out.

Speaker 3 (23:33):
I got fucking busted.

Speaker 5 (23:35):
Some guys sitting all over the bathroom.

Speaker 2 (23:37):
You gotta just stick with the story. Why would you
confess at that point, wouldn't you just be like, I
don't know what the fuck that is a bathroom, right.

Speaker 5 (23:45):
I mean, I don't know what happened. I didn't get
beat or anything. You know, it's a single mom.

Speaker 1 (23:50):
What you gonna do?

Speaker 2 (23:51):
Spiders studies made up? Oh really, Brian works in the hospital.
How would he know? If let me say how to Brian?

Speaker 1 (23:58):
Brian?

Speaker 2 (23:58):
Go ahead explain this.

Speaker 6 (24:00):
Hey guys, I just want to say, first off, a
brand new listener, Jason ellis listener for a long time.
Really love your Guys show. But I wanted to let
you know. So I work in a hop so I
do a lot of research. The spider study was made
up to see how fast false information will spread, right,

(24:21):
So they made it up to see how quickly.

Speaker 14 (24:23):
Would believe it.

Speaker 6 (24:24):
And as you can tell by us talking about it
right now, the study was proved that anybody will believe anything,
uh that's put on the internet.

Speaker 1 (24:33):
There you go.

Speaker 5 (24:35):
Wow, I bit and Mark Norman is a smart guy.

Speaker 3 (24:41):
I'm still gonna say it everywhere I go from now.

Speaker 1 (24:44):
Hell yeah, yeah, I'm going to cut it down to nine.

Speaker 2 (24:46):
Though they're saying it's actually eight eight. Luckily for all
of us, the fact that people swallow eight spiders and
their sleep yearly isn't true.

Speaker 3 (24:55):
But it's a caller.

Speaker 4 (24:57):
Could you admit that you think people eat spot actually
accidentally eat spiders in various ways quite a bit.

Speaker 6 (25:04):
I'm sure it's possible, but you guys got to think,
what would the research process be in.

Speaker 3 (25:09):
The well, there wouldn't be.

Speaker 4 (25:11):
But I'm just saying the idea that people sleep with
their mouths open, and there's bugs crawling around in your
home all the time, and also at restaurants and stuff.

Speaker 2 (25:19):
There's gonna be mouth when you're sleeping.

Speaker 1 (25:22):
To the surgical mask on.

Speaker 3 (25:27):
The fucking road.

Speaker 5 (25:28):
A lot of times I'll put I'll put those ear
things in right so nothing crawls in your ears.

Speaker 1 (25:33):
Like, oh oh yeah, an ear wig? That's great.

Speaker 2 (25:36):
Then the hotel and you don't.

Speaker 3 (25:40):
You want to live if he wasn't so afraid of
ear spider?

Speaker 2 (25:44):
Are you sacrifice a bug going in your ear so
you can see if there's a you know, make sure
you can hear an emergency.

Speaker 5 (25:49):
You want to see the best fucking video on Facebook.
This guy had a path, went swimming in some tropical
fucking waters and a parasite got in his eye twenty
fucking inches long.

Speaker 1 (26:00):
You gotta yeah, I'll take a look at that.

Speaker 5 (26:03):
You gotta see it. It's sucking a mill inches parasite
in the eye.

Speaker 2 (26:07):
And if you want to talk about this ship, you
know there's a little fish that swim up your pea hole.
Look it up, Doug nose.

Speaker 3 (26:14):
Ye, that stuff's brutal.

Speaker 2 (26:15):
Yes, the homo fish in some countries they swim right
up your pea hole and then they attach on with
their claws.

Speaker 1 (26:23):
Wait, I think if he's gonna do it with the
Q tips, start pulling it out with a tip. Oh,
this is gonna hurt.

Speaker 2 (26:29):
I don't think you know, this might be it parasites
in your eyes. Follow us on Twitter Opie Show. We
tweet out all the visuals as we go. Z.

Speaker 1 (26:41):
Yeah, I don't.

Speaker 4 (26:45):
Yeah, nothing is happening because I remember it's a three
minute video, right minute.

Speaker 1 (26:50):
I can't come in that tongue. I can't wait.

Speaker 2 (26:53):
That's wait, Paul, you can't watch this either.

Speaker 1 (26:56):
I can't do anything with the eyes. I'm alright with
the eyes. I'm all right with you guys.

Speaker 3 (27:00):
So close up it almost doesn't even feel like an eye, right,
it looks like a surgery, looks like it looks like
a blown out asshole.

Speaker 1 (27:08):
So yes, I've never seen one keeps going on the radio.
Thing you've seen.

Speaker 3 (27:17):
Everything, Wait till, wait till you start with your guys.

Speaker 2 (27:19):
So what did you do with the Q tip? Is
he trying to pull the eyeball back a little bit
to get to the fire?

Speaker 1 (27:24):
That also, why is Amy Schumer on Fox News? Sorry,
it's a visual gag, all right?

Speaker 2 (27:33):
Uh oh, Now we're committed to a three minute video.
They haven't done anything yet.

Speaker 3 (27:39):
Try reporting on that train wreck that happened.

Speaker 1 (27:46):
Good to have you back, Dug.

Speaker 2 (27:47):
I think this video could have started at a minute thirty. Yeah, an,
how we're about ready to start pulling the parasite out?
Is it going to be a tour play?

Speaker 15 (27:57):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (27:57):
The setup is a little long.

Speaker 3 (27:59):
Is there any kind of videos you wouldn't watch?

Speaker 1 (28:01):
Opie?

Speaker 2 (28:01):
Yeah, I'll tell you a second. Okay, So they got
the all right, all right, they got to parasitolic.

Speaker 1 (28:10):
Looks like a noodle, looks like.

Speaker 2 (28:11):
A really small they're continuing to pull like a funk.

Speaker 1 (28:15):
Wahh that's close to twenty inches long?

Speaker 2 (28:19):
How many inches?

Speaker 1 (28:20):
Twenty?

Speaker 2 (28:20):
That's what they say on the description. Look at it?

Speaker 3 (28:24):
Yeah, like that's like that sexy thing ladies do with
the cherry step in his but in his eye.

Speaker 1 (28:32):
That's pretty impressive. Eyeball. What a slut.

Speaker 2 (28:35):
That's twenty Yeah, that's at least a flood so far late,
no way more than a foot and it's moving around, oh,
trying to go back in, back in. Just imagine a
very long piece of spaghetti just moving around.

Speaker 3 (28:48):
I've never seen looking at it out of your eyeball.

Speaker 1 (28:50):
Holy moly. She did don't want to pull too hard.
She didn't want it to break. Yeah, I won't it up.

Speaker 3 (28:56):
Like I was lady in the tramp.

Speaker 1 (29:00):
Oh, I liked it, Doug.

Speaker 2 (29:01):
It's quite a noodle. So gross, all right, So what
happens now?

Speaker 3 (29:08):
Like you know what I mean? If they pulled back
just a little bit so you could see a human
face is involved in this. It's just so close.

Speaker 1 (29:13):
It's don Rickles.

Speaker 3 (29:15):
No, I think it's just not that's it.

Speaker 1 (29:17):
They got it.

Speaker 3 (29:17):
It's not as close as I thought it was gonna be.

Speaker 2 (29:19):
Yeah, but now they got to pan out to see
what you're right, twenty the human.

Speaker 1 (29:23):
Face in your eyeball, not behind the socket, I understand. Yeah,
in they just slice the ball.

Speaker 2 (29:29):
Well, we'll tweet that out OPI show on Twitter for
all the visuals that's pretty impressive, boss, thanks for that.

Speaker 3 (29:36):
Yeah, just cleaning it up with YouTube.

Speaker 2 (29:38):
To answer your question, Doug, I can't watch beheading videos.

Speaker 3 (29:41):
That's to skip out.

Speaker 1 (29:44):
And what other ones.

Speaker 2 (29:46):
There's a bunch of other ones. Tough what foreskin?

Speaker 1 (29:49):
Yeah, those are tough in what way they clipped the foreskin? Oh?

Speaker 2 (29:53):
You can't watch that?

Speaker 1 (29:54):
Nah? I can't.

Speaker 3 (29:55):
Oh there's videos of circumcisions.

Speaker 1 (29:56):
Yeah, I got them on my phone. No, but the
it cuts it off and he sucks the blood with
his mouth.

Speaker 2 (30:02):
I like seeing those live and then and then there's
like some swamp lip and stuff.

Speaker 1 (30:08):
They they yeah, huh, swamp lip.

Speaker 2 (30:11):
There's been some problems with that over there, like a herpee. Yeah,
they're passing herpes along because you know, they happen to
have a swamp lip when they're sucking the blood out
of the baby penis.

Speaker 1 (30:22):
You'll like him.

Speaker 5 (30:26):
It's so fucking it's crazy. It's ridiculous.

Speaker 2 (30:28):
Yeah, you know. And genitalia mutilation.

Speaker 1 (30:33):
I don't like those videos.

Speaker 3 (30:34):
Right, I think that's sort of what we were just
talking about.

Speaker 2 (30:36):
Where are you at with this?

Speaker 3 (30:38):
I don't like I don't.

Speaker 4 (30:38):
Like looking at much oh March, Yeah, I mean I
don't like the eyeball thing didn't turn out to be bad.

Speaker 3 (30:44):
But I was prepared to not watch that.

Speaker 1 (30:47):
I thought I could watch it behaving.

Speaker 3 (30:48):
Good and ready to not watch that.

Speaker 2 (30:50):
I thought I could watch a beheading video. And then
I saw the beginning of it. I'm like, okay, yeah,
I could never. I could never watch this.

Speaker 1 (30:56):
No, I don't need to watch. I don't want to
see it.

Speaker 5 (30:57):
I hate watching my off on video. I hate it.

Speaker 1 (31:01):
We do too, uh I we watch on the internet, uh,
Bonnie doing well like outrageous videos.

Speaker 5 (31:12):
I've never watched the beheading, so I never.

Speaker 1 (31:15):
It's rough.

Speaker 5 (31:16):
I mean, I couldn't imagine going to that, Like, I don't.
This is what I don't won't watch or read. I
try to keep away from any any child abuse or
any story or where they fucking around with you know
what I mean, or where they kill their kids or
anything like that. Anything to do with kids, if you
fucking harm them in any way possible drives me fucking nuts.

Speaker 4 (31:35):
That I don't even like that in a movie, like
I don't even depictions of it. Yeah, Like that's the
most to me. The most dispenseful movies are the ones
where children are in jeopardy.

Speaker 3 (31:44):
And I'm like, well, yeah, I never watched those.

Speaker 1 (31:49):
About like like like Woody Allen, like, is that does
that pissy off?

Speaker 5 (31:53):
Well, one, it wasn't infinite. I don't know the truth
behind the truth behind it. But when you see a
lady that fucking kills her two kids for a boyfriend
or yeah, you know, years ago there was one short
handcuffed the kitchen, the radiator and they started, you know
who the fuck.

Speaker 3 (32:10):
Radiator radiator, radiator, radiator.

Speaker 1 (32:16):
Super extreme cool radiator.

Speaker 3 (32:19):
Mine, Mine is radiator on a skateboard radiator.

Speaker 2 (32:25):
But it's obviously that you read up on these stories.

Speaker 3 (32:28):
There the headline back in the day.

Speaker 2 (32:30):
I don't even need the head story.

Speaker 3 (32:32):
Just watched his Black Snake moan on the Loop.

Speaker 2 (32:34):
Well that's why I'm pissed off. I ever saw that
damn Dear Zachary going back.

Speaker 1 (32:38):
To oh no need for that, saddest documentary of all time, by.

Speaker 2 (32:43):
Far, saddest thing I've ever seen of all time. Yeah,
and I had no idea how that was going to
play out.

Speaker 1 (32:50):
Yeah, I'm not in at first. It was bad news. Rude.

Speaker 2 (32:54):
Watch I saw you saw Dear Zachary.

Speaker 3 (32:56):
Yeah, and I didn't know.

Speaker 5 (32:57):
Yeah, because you guys were raving about it and here
raving about it.

Speaker 1 (33:00):
You said it was one of the best documentaries. So
it's good.

Speaker 2 (33:03):
It's a good documentary. It's well put together. But there's
no reason to watch that ship. Yeah, to be reminded
that there very evil people in this world. You let
me tell you about a beheading video.

Speaker 1 (33:16):
I've seen that. Probably the beheading is it's never a
good knife, you know, they always have to like really
cut away. Yeah, I saw it. If it was like
a one clean sweep, it'd be a lot easier, I think,
But guy struggling like, yeah, like a guillotine would be better.
I said, guillotine, what a fucking idiot?

Speaker 4 (33:35):
Or like in movies, beheadings and movies are always like
it just flies off and head rolling around.

Speaker 2 (33:41):
Right, They don't have that fucking fake head figured out
yet from movies.

Speaker 1 (33:44):
Yeah, it's a guy's song with a shitty like Arabian
knife and he's like, you know, the guy's like struggling
with it, and the guy's screaming. It's a whole thing.

Speaker 3 (33:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (33:51):
I don't like that they purposely make the knife doll though.

Speaker 15 (33:55):
There.

Speaker 1 (33:55):
Oh you think about butter knife? Oh, man, I bet.

Speaker 2 (33:58):
You they purposely make sure that the knife isn't that
grace cruel, cruel. Yeah, so you guys have any Don
Rickles stories? Anybody meet Don Rickles?

Speaker 10 (34:07):
Not me?

Speaker 1 (34:08):
No, I never met him, never saw him live.

Speaker 5 (34:09):
I met him in Chicago in the elevator, took an
elevator down with him.

Speaker 1 (34:13):
Yeah.

Speaker 10 (34:13):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (34:13):
And I got a picture with him. Whoa fucking just
me and him.

Speaker 5 (34:17):
That's one of my favorite pictures at the Chicago Some
comeds in your phone.

Speaker 1 (34:21):
It's just Rickles hitting the emergency button in the elevator
over and over. He's fucking He was nice.

Speaker 5 (34:27):
Yeah, I think you know, once he knows you're a comic,
he was real nice to comics and stuff.

Speaker 1 (34:31):
You know. Uh that was my fucking time I only
met him. That's called Jew from Queens, is he? Yeah?

Speaker 5 (34:40):
So you had to show Jew from Queens? Like if
he was black, what how would you have said that?

Speaker 1 (34:44):
I'd say spook from Brooklyn? Now, but uh, lo's gone
all right. But I met George Carlin once where it
borders books in on Wall Street. He was doing a
book signing and I went down there. I skipped work,
went down there, brought all my George Carlon books. And
it was brutal because I was in line with all
these people going it's the guy from Jersey Girl. He

(35:07):
was in Bill and Ted's. I was like, are you kidding?
You don't know anything about the comedy. So I was
so embarrassed by all these people. So I went up
and I go, hey, I love complaints and grievances back
in town, jamming in New York. And he goes, what
do you do? I go, I'm a comed He goes,
you sound like a comic and I go, hey, thanks,
and he goes, you know what, kid, you got a
real talent for jacking around. He said that to me.

(35:28):
My friends are there watching, and I was like, I
don't know what that means, and I walked away.

Speaker 5 (35:32):
It was when I would call it that's cool. When
I was in Aspen, I was having like major anxiety whatever.
I couldn't breathe from that, so I thought I was
having a heart attack. Yeah, I really thought I was
having I couldn't show all of a sudden, and they calling,
you know, the restue squad. They bring me into a room,
you know, and Carlin Sandia and he goes, don't worry.

Speaker 3 (35:51):
I had two of them like he had two.

Speaker 5 (35:53):
I don't worry, kid, I had two of them, right,
But I didn't run out and get a fucking tattoo
on my arm like fucking.

Speaker 3 (36:02):
Say his name?

Speaker 1 (36:03):
Yeah yeah, And he covered it up.

Speaker 2 (36:05):
He finally covered it up, didn't he?

Speaker 3 (36:07):
That was the tattoo?

Speaker 1 (36:09):
Kick him?

Speaker 2 (36:13):
K K?

Speaker 3 (36:14):
Who said that?

Speaker 2 (36:15):
Well, George Carlin said it to Joe DeRosa, and Joe
he put it on his arm because Joe thought he
was you know, it was special. It's something that Carlin
didn't really do. And then it turns out carl and
anyone he met would say that exact same thing too,
And it looks like k K.

Speaker 4 (36:30):
He thought, Okay, I just met Joe DeRosa like within
the last year and we've become friends.

Speaker 3 (36:37):
But I don't I don't know all this.

Speaker 1 (36:38):
Look, these meeting stories have really dropped off.

Speaker 3 (36:44):
Well, I talked. I sold all my Rickles stories.

Speaker 4 (36:47):
In the last radio show I was on, and because
you know, I got the news while we were on
the show, and it feels uh redundant.

Speaker 3 (36:55):
Yesterday I was on a show here and somebody called
in and said, do you have a sleeping bag? It's
serious assume. I was like, Hey, do you not do
anything but listen to serious Like, why do you know
that I'm on all these stories?

Speaker 1 (37:07):
You meet your roch at a non postcare festival?

Speaker 3 (37:10):
What nothing?

Speaker 1 (37:14):
It didn't work.

Speaker 3 (37:16):
A work, I had too much gum.

Speaker 6 (37:19):
In my no.

Speaker 1 (37:20):
I met him at a.

Speaker 3 (37:22):
I met him at a poke.

Speaker 1 (37:25):
There we go. There it is.

Speaker 2 (37:28):
Me, Hi, Eddie, Eddie and Hartford.

Speaker 7 (37:32):
Go ahead, Eddie, Oh boy, I really want to apologize
for calling up hammered earlier in the week. I was
sick and I was sipping a little schnapps and I
got a.

Speaker 1 (37:42):
Little Oh it's Eddie the racist.

Speaker 2 (37:44):
I mean, you don't like to be called that, but uh,
you know.

Speaker 7 (37:47):
No, I love everybody. I'm I'm being sarcastic. Anyways, in
the New York Post last Friday, they got this photo
of an Indonesian farmer named Akbar. He's twenty five years old.
He was eating whole by a twenty three foot reticulated python.

Speaker 3 (38:05):
Wow.

Speaker 14 (38:07):
Do you see the picture of them?

Speaker 7 (38:08):
Get excliced?

Speaker 16 (38:08):
They have it.

Speaker 2 (38:09):
We actually talked about this last week, and there's video
of them cutting the body out of the snake, out
of the python.

Speaker 1 (38:16):
Was he okay?

Speaker 2 (38:19):
He jumped up and said, here's the video.

Speaker 1 (38:23):
Was old. What do you mean it's old?

Speaker 2 (38:25):
It just happened a week or two ago.

Speaker 7 (38:27):
This is it's a week old?

Speaker 2 (38:29):
Yeah, what do you mean it's old?

Speaker 5 (38:32):
This video not with the same kid?

Speaker 2 (38:40):
Is that unbelievable?

Speaker 7 (38:41):
Though?

Speaker 2 (38:42):
They're cutting a body out of a fucking python.

Speaker 1 (38:44):
It's a it's.

Speaker 2 (38:45):
As Yeah, it's a certain type of python that it's.

Speaker 1 (38:49):
Kind of rare.

Speaker 2 (38:49):
They don't really see a would thank you?

Speaker 7 (38:51):
Yes, rearticulated, ridiculous. I'm checking out, thanks, Lie, I apologize
for that.

Speaker 2 (38:58):
No, man, these guys haven't seen the video.

Speaker 1 (39:00):
Country are we in? Uh? Yeah? Yeah. We decided a
long time where to live on this planet where it's
a little safer.

Speaker 5 (39:09):
Yeah, all right, what a fucked up? The casus out
minding his own business. I can't play.

Speaker 1 (39:15):
Yeah, I don't know if kid. Look at the jeans
shorts on him. He's got like a little daisy duke.

Speaker 3 (39:22):
That's what attracted the python. Why was the guy? Why
is the caller apologizing?

Speaker 1 (39:30):
He was, I guess we talked about this last week.
But you guys haven't seen the videos.

Speaker 2 (39:35):
That's new to you.

Speaker 1 (39:35):
Yeah, but he said he was.

Speaker 4 (39:37):
At the beginning of the call, he was apologizing for
some other call he made or something.

Speaker 3 (39:40):
He said he was hammered, not drunk.

Speaker 2 (39:43):
He went after blacks.

Speaker 1 (39:46):
Oh by what happened? Pretty he was pretty harsh.

Speaker 2 (39:49):
The first time we met. Eddie was here, I don't know,
I don't remember. If I was here, would have just
laughed at him.

Speaker 3 (39:56):
But yeah, got a pretty good sense of humor about
that stuff.

Speaker 1 (40:00):
Pretty deal with the racial stuff in text.

Speaker 3 (40:01):
He calls me, niggy.

Speaker 1 (40:03):
Yeah, what is that about? Why do you have to
throw that around? That's high praise? No, it's it's very affectionate,
but weird. It's weird.

Speaker 2 (40:15):
Say hi to Steven Boston.

Speaker 1 (40:16):
Steve, go ahead, nigg started, Hey, hey.

Speaker 17 (40:21):
Hope, have you seen that documentary crist from Siri HBO documentary.

Speaker 2 (40:25):
I've been blowing it off. Man, I hear it's brilliantly,
I hear it.

Speaker 17 (40:31):
Really it really is. It's it's uh like devastating. I
think it's gonna make a lot of like activists people
seeing that video that's that documentary.

Speaker 18 (40:39):
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 (40:40):
What is it called?

Speaker 2 (40:41):
Isn't that the one that's called the white Hats or
the white helmets or whatever.

Speaker 17 (40:45):
The guys helmets are like the rescue team. They going
like for the first responders, and like Syria, they just yeah,
they're the first one to the scene.

Speaker 4 (40:54):
That was the short film that was nominated for Oscar
A little different.

Speaker 3 (40:58):
I think it won. It's very good, right.

Speaker 2 (41:01):
Yeah, but it's the footage in that dug pretty brutal.

Speaker 4 (41:03):
It's there's some brutal stuff in there, but it's all
it's all about, you know, mostly saving lives. It's not
like dead bodies or dead people. It's more about these
guys that go in and how many people they saved.

Speaker 17 (41:14):
Well, I think, yeah, there's a little bit of a
shock factor to this one. I think, just to draw
the point home, you know.

Speaker 2 (41:19):
Right, No, I think I got to see that of course,
But then again, we just saw this footage from a
couple of days ago from Syria.

Speaker 5 (41:26):
Yeah they right, Yeah, that's where they guessed like a
hundred people, the kids, their kids put it on the internet.

Speaker 3 (41:32):
Just kids dying.

Speaker 2 (41:33):
Yeah, there were basically kids dying as they're trying to
get the you know, the what off them, the chemicals,
I guess, and they couldn't they couldn't do it in time,
and these kids were dying. That footage was just fucking brutal.
Are we gonna do something.

Speaker 19 (41:46):
You think, I hope, so, I hope.

Speaker 1 (41:49):
So, yeah, but what is it? What do we do?

Speaker 17 (41:54):
That's a good question. You're gonna have to ask mister.

Speaker 20 (41:56):
Trump Ooh, he doesn't call it anymore, but always said was.
We don't condone these actions. I mean, that's nice enough.

Speaker 1 (42:07):
But right, I don't know.

Speaker 17 (42:08):
I don't know what you do. It's a mess, but
you can see it. I'm sure you guys will talk
about it.

Speaker 2 (42:12):
You can't have video out there where kids are dying.

Speaker 5 (42:15):
But this kid's been going on to how many administrations?
It's you know, true, it's not like it's just him. Well,
it's a bit complicated, that's the problem.

Speaker 1 (42:22):
You know what we done in the last two or
three minutes.

Speaker 2 (42:25):
It wasn't so complicated. We already would have done something
that's pretty obvious.

Speaker 1 (42:30):
Does anything good come from Syria? It's always a bummer.
That's a great question. I've never you know, it's never
a rosa. I said, good, that's a.

Speaker 3 (42:41):
Very good question.

Speaker 1 (42:41):
I mean, it's not only shere.

Speaker 5 (42:43):
I mean, you look throughout the world, all these terrorist attacks.
I mean in fucking France, England, you know who's doing this.
It's not fucking Israel. I'll tell you that. Yeah, No,
I hear you, all right, it's not America.

Speaker 1 (42:57):
Israel's on the defense.

Speaker 5 (42:59):
Fucking was being lombed into their fucking shitty from Lebanon
throughout history. But did you get any United Nations that
are the bad guys?

Speaker 1 (43:06):
Did you birth right? It up? You never birthright? No,
I haven't gone there yet. You should go.

Speaker 2 (43:11):
I want to. I am trying to get you've never gone.

Speaker 1 (43:14):
No. I think it's an age cap because the whole
point is to go over there and bang right.

Speaker 3 (43:19):
I don't want to shock.

Speaker 1 (43:20):
Yeah, because they wanted to, you know, that's the whole point.
That's the whole point of birth right.

Speaker 3 (43:23):
Really.

Speaker 1 (43:24):
Yeah, so they reproduce more Jews, but they can do
that within what you're saying.

Speaker 4 (43:29):
People are taking advantage of that on just going over
there and having casual sex.

Speaker 1 (43:33):
Well, no, I'm saying, if you're a Jew, you get
a free flight to Israel, so you fuck a bunch
of you know, isn't real bunch of them? Yeah, they
can do that.

Speaker 3 (43:42):
You don't have to fly in fucking cock. There's enough guys.

Speaker 1 (43:49):
Got a trooper.

Speaker 3 (43:54):
Cock went not to go to the fucking to the wall.

Speaker 1 (43:58):
Google let's let's google this eighteen spiders birthright what is
what is it really about?

Speaker 2 (44:05):
I want to see if Mark said I think Mark's
got a Mark's close to right.

Speaker 1 (44:09):
Well they're gonna, you know, butter it up in a
little bit.

Speaker 3 (44:11):
Here like a normal thing.

Speaker 1 (44:14):
Yeah, but get it at a Jew gal on the phone.
They'll tell you.

Speaker 2 (44:18):
All right, let's get some Jews on the line. We'll
talk to them about any is also known as Birthright
Israel or simply Birthright, is a not not for profit
educational organization that sponsors free Israel for young adults of
Jewish herding. Yes eighteen to twenty six. You know what
they got on their line exactly? Mark might be right about.

Speaker 3 (44:41):
There fly you in coach though, that's the problem.

Speaker 2 (44:45):
Yeah, yeah, well, okay, Mark is so right that they
just came to clean on the Wikipedia jew bitches. During
their trip, participants, most of the visiting Israel for the
first time, are encouraged to discover new meaning in their
personal Jewish identity to Jewish history and culture.

Speaker 1 (45:02):
Oh yeah, you know what that means?

Speaker 21 (45:04):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (45:04):
Well they yeah, they probably also, but it is for
younger people, so well, some of them might drop the
ball and not get it done.

Speaker 1 (45:12):
Wow, there's a lot of ugly Jews out there, But
I'm saying I think it's for banging. I think, yeah,
in Israel, they don't.

Speaker 5 (45:20):
Israeli fucking broad don't want to be impregnated by fucking
American Jews because they look down on American Jews.

Speaker 1 (45:27):
Well that's racist.

Speaker 5 (45:28):
Well because American Jews are Upper West Side. They're not
like fucking rarely fucking tough, tough guys.

Speaker 1 (45:35):
You know.

Speaker 5 (45:35):
I mean, if I wonder where they would be very
infatuated with somebody like me, cast of Munich, Yes, I was.
I could have been in the rate of Anti. I
could have I could have flown under fucking radar. And
you've gone to air Force.

Speaker 2 (45:51):
You defend all the time. Why don't you know about
this birthright?

Speaker 3 (45:54):
I know the birth I know the birthright. I just
never did. I was supposed to go when I was sixteen.

Speaker 1 (46:00):
You could have been railing all kinds of circumcised labia.

Speaker 5 (46:04):
I didn't uh when I was sixteen, but I was
gonna go. My grandparents were gonna have me. But I
wanted to hang with my friends that summer.

Speaker 3 (46:11):
I should find a younger gentleman. That's Jewish and take
him under your wing and go on the trip with
him and film it, Oh my god, documentary about it.

Speaker 2 (46:21):
That's a strong idea, know.

Speaker 3 (46:23):
What the whole thing is. But at the same time,
he's got a creepy friend with him, was trying to
help him look up right.

Speaker 1 (46:28):
Yes, we'll call it Labia Minora.

Speaker 4 (46:31):
Ah, it's going to be straight to.

Speaker 2 (46:39):
We're still waiting for the z to call. We might
have one. We might have one, just waiting.

Speaker 1 (46:46):
Did we have to make some calls to find someone.

Speaker 2 (46:48):
Well, they're not easy to find to talk about.

Speaker 1 (46:54):
We could have thrown a drail out the window. Have
you been enough?

Speaker 2 (46:57):
We got Jordan from Boston.

Speaker 3 (46:59):
I didn't shame.

Speaker 2 (47:00):
I'm giving you between the lines today.

Speaker 3 (47:02):
I didn't say it.

Speaker 2 (47:03):
What No, I didn't want you to go off on
some fucking okay, you know, boring story. Jordan and Boston
some of the best stories ever took.

Speaker 22 (47:13):
I took one of those trips you're talking about when
I was just out of college twenty two.

Speaker 1 (47:16):
Yeah, baby, tell us about it. Yeah.

Speaker 22 (47:19):
All the guys try to get laid with the girls
on the trip, and all the girls try to get laid,
but see some brailely guys. So none of us got lucky.

Speaker 1 (47:27):
All right, we.

Speaker 3 (47:28):
See, I said they could just go wrong, just walk out.

Speaker 1 (47:30):
Well it worked out for the girls. The girls are
hot over there, huh in Israel.

Speaker 22 (47:36):
Oh yeah, the girls are hot over there. They like
the Americans. The guys over there are you know, Harry
chest unbuttoned halfway really kind of sleazy works on. Girls
who are there for the trip.

Speaker 2 (47:48):
Were swarthy, probably going with Mark Norman's theory, though it
was understood that you're going over there to get laid.

Speaker 22 (47:57):
That's not my parents thought, but that's what I thought.

Speaker 1 (48:00):
That's the gist on the street.

Speaker 22 (48:02):
Yeah yeah, I mean it was there to uh enriching
my appreciation for my religion and becoming more steadfast Jew.
But I was just looking to get late.

Speaker 1 (48:11):
Yeah, take essentially nice. Look at those boy, that's a swarthy,
fucking heab. Look at that guy. Damn. Look at the
cans on you're the guys. That's cans are pretty impressive. Yeah,
oh you can see which one's the American. You could

(48:38):
to the American?

Speaker 22 (48:41):
Yeah we uh yeah, I also have red hair.

Speaker 19 (48:45):
So I was.

Speaker 1 (48:47):
What happens to Jews on the flight over to the state.
We that you got like g G and uh, you know, Mohammed.
Then they come over here, we got you know, Mortimer
and uh Shlomo. What happened? It's all, it's all al
G's over here.

Speaker 22 (49:03):
I don't even know what that means.

Speaker 1 (49:04):
But they're up over there and then here they're all,
you know.

Speaker 2 (49:09):
Taken out by a flower, right right, I know what
you're saying.

Speaker 1 (49:13):
Yeah, you're walking through the Diamond District.

Speaker 22 (49:15):
A couple of guys that we're in the armed forces
there and they're pretty tough, but for the most part
is you know yeh.

Speaker 2 (49:20):
But maybe that's why they live over there because nothing
seems to grow, so the pollen doesn't really get to
them over there.

Speaker 1 (49:26):
Well, they have to join the army there.

Speaker 2 (49:28):
Yeah, all right, Oh I got another jem, thanks Jordan.
I got to go to Debbie in New York.

Speaker 1 (49:35):
Debbie, go ahead, Hey, guys, love the show.

Speaker 23 (49:39):
Okay, So I didn't really hear what he was saying
because I was on a hold in Callie. But first rate,
the Jews are always about coming home and Israel as
our homeland. So birth rate is about showing people what
our country is about, getting the young people to come
to our country and coming home, especially those that are
not necessarily Jewish or don't know their heritage. It's about
bringing them back home, not about ethens. No, I mean,

(50:02):
that's what happens.

Speaker 1 (50:02):
That's what happens. That's where all the kids are in for.
I mean it's like saying, hey, you don't go to
spring break for.

Speaker 2 (50:06):
The beach, right, Mom and dad are explaining that to you.
But in your mind, your eighteen year old, nineteen year
old mind, you're thinking this is an opportunity totally.

Speaker 1 (50:15):
It's out there.

Speaker 23 (50:15):
Yes, it might be, but if you're really like Orthodox
or you know, religious, you don't do that stuff anyway.

Speaker 1 (50:21):
So yeah, necessarily nobody wants to fucking Orthodox. Thanks a lot, shit, sorry,
damn well fuck it, Debbie.

Speaker 4 (50:30):
Do you always say fing or are you doing that
special just for us because we're a gentleman?

Speaker 1 (50:34):
Yeah?

Speaker 23 (50:35):
Oh just no, just trying to be a lady when
you know, just when you're.

Speaker 3 (50:41):
Mad about something.

Speaker 1 (50:42):
But give us one good half right now.

Speaker 3 (50:48):
But yeah, you only ask for once you're disqualified?

Speaker 2 (50:51):
And how Orthodox are you? How deep does it go?

Speaker 6 (50:54):
Dox.

Speaker 23 (50:55):
I'm from New York. I grew up in Brooklyn. I
wow in Rockland and my husband are huge fans, and
I just wanted to set the record straight so that
you don't have your you know.

Speaker 2 (51:05):
But all right, enough of that. But how orthodox do
you put like a sheet between you when you're having
the sex.

Speaker 23 (51:10):
Oh, that's a myth, that's not the truth. I can
tell you what's behind that.

Speaker 2 (51:14):
Larry David taught us that.

Speaker 1 (51:17):
Yeah, that's right, that's.

Speaker 5 (51:19):
What it is.

Speaker 23 (51:20):
Is men wear sits. This that's a it's a Jewish
garment that have holds so their heads can go through.
So the myth where that came from is then they
were hanging on the clothesline. It looked like a white
sheet where with a hole in it, And that's where
it's actually encouraged that your body's supposed to be touching.

Speaker 1 (51:34):
Wait, but you just made it worse.

Speaker 2 (51:36):
It sounds like the sheet would be a better option.
What is this garment?

Speaker 23 (51:41):
It's it's something that orthodox men wear. You see the
strings hanging down the side.

Speaker 10 (51:45):
Yes, so that's what that is there.

Speaker 23 (51:47):
It's a it's a garment that has a hole for
your head to go through. That's how you put it on.
It's kind of like a shawl and they have the
strings hanging down the side. So when you when they
were hanging on a clothespin or something. I guess in
the olden days people thought that that's what it was.
That's the whole miss behind it. I get this question
all the time. It's not true. You're encouraged to have
sex or encouraged their bodies to touch.

Speaker 10 (52:07):
Not true.

Speaker 23 (52:07):
Never had sex to a sheet?

Speaker 4 (52:08):
Yeah, I wait till you're dead and have sex with
another ghost I put.

Speaker 5 (52:14):
I put a pillow over my wife. Shed only outshanks
that happen.

Speaker 1 (52:19):
I get that.

Speaker 10 (52:19):
It's the boy.

Speaker 1 (52:21):
Yes, all right, well call back on Saturday.

Speaker 2 (52:24):
All right, thank you, thank you for the show. I
got to go to Dean and Buffalo. He did a
birthright trip there, Mark Norman, Ah, Dean, go ahead, Danny.

Speaker 10 (52:33):
Oh I didn't. I didn't do it. All three of
my kids have been on it.

Speaker 3 (52:36):
Oh, well, back with deeper voices.

Speaker 1 (52:40):
And they goes to Hymen, which sounds like a Jewish name.

Speaker 10 (52:44):
Well, I actually they the way they do it now,
they have like a bunch of different types of trips.
There's some that go to the you know, the kibbitz.
But the one my son went on, they say in
like five star hotels and they romance out, and I
think I think my son had a full nights out
where they were doing more than just you know, going
through shawls. But he didn't tell me exactly. But the

(53:06):
two girls went too, but one of them stayed on
the kibbitz for a couple of times. And my youngest
daughter just went a couple of years ago, and it
was kind of mix of both.

Speaker 1 (53:16):
Kibbutz. What's that? Is a KiB like a kibbutz.

Speaker 10 (53:22):
Yes, it's like a kibbutz.

Speaker 1 (53:24):
Okay, because they don't know what kibbitz is.

Speaker 10 (53:26):
Well, kibbitz means to interfere in the conversation.

Speaker 1 (53:30):
I thought it was dog food, No kibbutz, kibbutz.

Speaker 3 (53:37):
All right, you're saying they stayed at the kibbitz.

Speaker 10 (53:43):
It's a farm.

Speaker 1 (53:44):
I don't speak landlord.

Speaker 3 (53:48):
But then that thought.

Speaker 4 (53:49):
But then, but then that same word came to eventually
mean that it means to uh, when someone kibbutz is
that they're interrupting something.

Speaker 1 (53:59):
No think there was a gym, I know, but no,
I didn't understand. Yeah, I didn't understand the kibbitts. Mhmm.

Speaker 5 (54:09):
When he said they stay at a kibbitz I thought
he meant on a kibbu where a lot of them stay.

Speaker 1 (54:14):
Ah like where you work for your for your keep
and got it.

Speaker 10 (54:21):
That's correct. That's what you say, boss. What we saw
it on New Year's up here in Buffalo when you're
at the Helium. I took my son to see it.
It was a good show, you and he said, He said, oh,
I went to a comic show the week before. You know,
I figured I was taken to a nice, big time
comics show.

Speaker 1 (54:40):
He says.

Speaker 10 (54:40):
Well, I asked him. You see he said, Oh, Luis c.
K and Mark Maron there in town Hall. U we're
coming on Mondays. We're coming on Monday night, so hopefully
we'll get to see everybody then from New York. Well,
I live in Buffalo, My kids all live in New York.
My wife from brook and that's why they're Jewish.

Speaker 3 (55:01):
Well, make sure you tell your kid that Louis and
Mark will not be there on Monday, right.

Speaker 10 (55:06):
All right, I think he's aware of that.

Speaker 2 (55:09):
You guys have a good week, all right, Thank you,
Dean from Buffalo. My god, what were you trying to
say there? Vosta kind of derailed.

Speaker 1 (55:15):
That whole time, But it was going nowhere anyhow.

Speaker 2 (55:19):
Well, it had hope what we're trying to say.

Speaker 5 (55:22):
He said, my kids stayed at a kibbitz, which there's
no place. Kibbitz is what you do, like your talking here.

Speaker 4 (55:31):
He said it the right way. And then you said,
did you say kibbits You just put that in his mouth?
He said, kibbutz right, because and then you made a
kibbutz joke.

Speaker 5 (55:43):
But he said he didn't take a book. He said kibbitts.
Oh boy, he said, he said.

Speaker 3 (55:52):
I think he said it right.

Speaker 1 (55:53):
Yeah, he definitely said it right.

Speaker 2 (55:56):
And then he got confused.

Speaker 4 (55:58):
Yeah, and then he and then you made the commits
joke and he said, oh yeah, I interrupted, you know.

Speaker 1 (56:03):
What you're doing right now?

Speaker 2 (56:05):
Yeah, he doesn't do it. He shot at you because.

Speaker 4 (56:08):
I thought it was like, yeah, taking somebody aside. Let's
go have a yeah, let's go a little bit about something.

Speaker 1 (56:13):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (56:13):
Yeah, the rock saying we got to take line too,
and then we're gonna take a break. Mike and Yonkers
go ahead.

Speaker 14 (56:19):
Hey, what's up, guys?

Speaker 1 (56:20):
Hey?

Speaker 14 (56:20):
There was there was an article the other day and
the Daily News better Orthodox Jewish couple who swings by day.
They're totally normal. But at night they swing. And I'm
just imagining if you're a couple and the first time
you go to swing, you meet up with an Orthodox
Jewish couple to swing.

Speaker 1 (56:40):
That's good premise.

Speaker 2 (56:41):
Yeah, let's find the article called back with a punchline.

Speaker 1 (56:45):
Here you go, ultrue Orthodox jew.

Speaker 3 (56:49):
Whoa hey, hey, hey, did you know? Did you say? Jo?

Speaker 2 (56:54):
There's no need wait, there's no need for kill.

Speaker 14 (56:57):
The last four minutes. Don't kill another four minutes.

Speaker 3 (57:00):
There's no need for name calling.

Speaker 2 (57:01):
So he kind of killed that last phone call.

Speaker 1 (57:03):
Oh boy, I didn't kill it. I just you put
that phone called an oven. Oh here it is boy,
his employer.

Speaker 3 (57:11):
She only heard all this.

Speaker 2 (57:13):
Here you go, let me get this out of the half.

Speaker 1 (57:15):
Oh yeah, boss, please.

Speaker 2 (57:17):
Ultra Orthodoxyscidic Jews reveal their secret swingers who love using
tender to arrange kinky sex with strangers, but fear being
ostracized by their families if they are ever exposed. Aren't
they exposed if they're writing about them?

Speaker 1 (57:29):
Yeah that's true.

Speaker 2 (57:30):
James, go ahead, Mike, No that while they didn't still.

Speaker 14 (57:36):
The faces she had on a wig. You know they
they you know you can do it on the down low.

Speaker 2 (57:41):
Okay, they've used tender to pursue kinky sex an extra
marital affairs. Since twenty fourteen, adultery is illegal under Jewish law,
and offenders are banished from their community. So James and
Monica had to be very careful. What if they end
up with an Amish couple? But why are you talking
about this? Obviously you know this. This newspaper knows a
bit about him. Wow, there's their pictures with her with

(58:03):
the wig looking all right?

Speaker 1 (58:04):
I like it.

Speaker 2 (58:05):
Right.

Speaker 1 (58:06):
I'll tell you I was on Jase White for a
while and I was cleaning up. What's Jase White? That's
the Jewish tender? Okay? And boy, they like I'm an
American guy every now and then, but they're not allowed
to advertise this one. Yeah, so how did that?

Speaker 3 (58:20):
Where did you stop?

Speaker 1 (58:21):
Yeah? I just you know, why'd you say?

Speaker 3 (58:23):
For a while?

Speaker 1 (58:24):
Because I I got so annoyed? Oh really? But uh yeah,
action it was well, I was consuming do you like
to chase? I like to chase in the Jewish girls
they make a chat for way too long. But I'll
tell you the sex is unreal because they have no
they have no sexual guilt.

Speaker 8 (58:38):
You have to be Jewish to be.

Speaker 1 (58:40):
You don't have to be Jewish. But I would put
willing to convert, and they were always like, oh maybe
he will. I couldn't afford it.

Speaker 2 (58:47):
Who taught you that you put willing to convert?

Speaker 1 (58:49):
I just give it a yeah, because I could. I
could pass.

Speaker 2 (58:53):
Right, So what happened? You weren't getting any action? Then
you're like, I got change this around a little bit,
and then you decide to put willing to converted.

Speaker 1 (59:00):
And worked exactly. Yeah. I was like, I'm a cat,
like I hate it. It sucks. I'm thinking about switching.
Blah blah blah. Right, yeah, man, he was the best
BJ's out there. Oh yeah, crazy crazy.

Speaker 14 (59:12):
I wonder if you want to get your wife to
appreciate you more, do you take her to swing with
the Acidic Couple?

Speaker 1 (59:16):
Maybe? Maybe?

Speaker 2 (59:19):
And then why do you bail?

Speaker 1 (59:20):
It was just getting to be too much. Too many
soups returned. It was a lot. Yeah, all right, click
on like we click on that side, boom pick. I'm sorry,
just selfishly for me. Which one that over there blonde
that's going to like give this computer all sorts of virus?
All right? All right, but just emailed Courtney.

Speaker 2 (59:36):
That's odd and yeah, that's Cordy who's that.

Speaker 4 (59:39):
She's that weird girl that was married to that that
actors from Green Mile that kills the mouse.

Speaker 2 (59:47):
Yeah, but she was like seventeen and he was, wasn't
he the time? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (59:53):
Yeah that was a few years in twenty sixteen.

Speaker 1 (59:55):
She is sacked.

Speaker 2 (59:56):
Yeah, she was fifty six.

Speaker 1 (59:57):
All right, Sorry, I mean to derail the the Jude
chat's all right, Oh my god, I mean they're obviously fake,
but still stunning.

Speaker 2 (01:00:08):
That's some nice side, good looking guy. Yeah what, all right?
Thank you buddy.

Speaker 1 (01:00:14):
All Right, your mom.

Speaker 2 (01:00:19):
Boss has been doing all right today.

Speaker 5 (01:00:21):
Listen, I'm not here to be judged. You're doing all right, man,
don't give a fuck what he thinks.

Speaker 2 (01:00:26):
All right, relax, Jordan and Jersey, I was giving you
a compliment, not you go ahead.

Speaker 16 (01:00:32):
Jordan's Yeah, my friends when I was younger, gone on
birth right, Well, my friends went. They all pretty much
talked about how it was like, you know, going out
clubbing and drinking all time when they are teenagers. It
sounds pretty fun. I would never have interesting going and
I was afraid of fucking terrors.

Speaker 7 (01:00:47):
Though.

Speaker 3 (01:00:47):
Is the drinking age lower there?

Speaker 2 (01:00:49):
I would assume, right with all that craziness going on
over there. You know, I would imagine they let you
drink at eighteen years old.

Speaker 16 (01:00:57):
I think they probably have it right where they have
to fork to join the military. They're not going to
control you every other way.

Speaker 6 (01:01:02):
Like we do here.

Speaker 2 (01:01:03):
So yeah, so all right, buddy, thank you, And finally
let's go to Mark in Denver.

Speaker 1 (01:01:09):
Mark, go ahead.

Speaker 18 (01:01:10):
I've actually Malcolm, but never mind's Eric's death or top
twenty years. I just want to ask Mark. I just
want to ask Doug what's edible he wants when I
bring to him on the fourteen twenty Denver.

Speaker 1 (01:01:25):
That's why I.

Speaker 2 (01:01:26):
Took this, called Doug Benson.

Speaker 3 (01:01:27):
Thanks Malcolm so much, Buddy. I like, uh, I don't
really like.

Speaker 4 (01:01:33):
The food ones as much as the pills like gold
caps are really good, you know, I just like, uh,
you know something with like like about fifty milligrams in it.

Speaker 18 (01:01:43):
Okay, well it sounds like you just haven't done the
right ones.

Speaker 4 (01:01:46):
Well, I just don't like, you know, uh, that extra
snacking just to get high, like because I'm going to
snack after I get high, you know, so there's no
reason to start with a snack any days.

Speaker 3 (01:01:58):
You don't get high you get high every day.

Speaker 1 (01:02:02):
I get high.

Speaker 3 (01:02:02):
I'm high most of the time.

Speaker 4 (01:02:04):
It's like the strangest thing when I when I'm around
Rich Voss, it goes away. But other than that, I'm
high most of the time.

Speaker 1 (01:02:11):
You really, yeah, most of it.

Speaker 18 (01:02:13):
I lose my appetite when I was boss.

Speaker 1 (01:02:17):
One more time.

Speaker 3 (01:02:22):
With the callers in an attacking Rich Voss. I don't
approve it, goes on.

Speaker 1 (01:02:28):
The boss, insulting Voss.

Speaker 3 (01:02:30):
Right, thank you, Spider.

Speaker 2 (01:02:36):
I'm in Denver in two weeks. But by the way, Malcolm,
get some plugs in and we'll take a break. Mark
what else you got?

Speaker 1 (01:02:42):
Uh? Yeah, I'm in Denver. Check my website. Mark Norman
Comedy be in Hartford, Columbus and comedy works down.

Speaker 4 (01:02:48):
Rich does not get along with them, that's what said.

Speaker 1 (01:02:56):
Yeah, tuesdays with stories?

Speaker 18 (01:02:57):
Are you?

Speaker 1 (01:02:58):
I don't want to plug ly? No?

Speaker 4 (01:03:01):
No, you know, it's just kind of what about have
you ever tried having sex with them rum Springer.

Speaker 1 (01:03:06):
Girls when they're uh, what's that?

Speaker 4 (01:03:08):
That's they get to go and just live in the
city and find out what it's like to uh.

Speaker 1 (01:03:15):
Reality and stuff. I'm down, I like lights off anyway.

Speaker 3 (01:03:19):
I'm just gotta know where they're going to go somehow.

Speaker 2 (01:03:21):
How much time do they get.

Speaker 1 (01:03:22):
They get like a month, I think, or two weeks.

Speaker 2 (01:03:25):
Maybe they get two weeks to just throw all the
rules away and they usually come to the city party
their asses off there allowed of you know, do whatever
the fuck, and then they have to decide if this
is the life for them.

Speaker 4 (01:03:36):
It's around fourteen to sixteen never mind, wow, sixteen to
twenty one for me.

Speaker 2 (01:03:45):
But it's called rum springer rump spring. Yeah, very good, Doug,
all right, how long is it though? We're looking it
up really fast.

Speaker 1 (01:03:56):
Send me a letter or a pigeon or something. I'm
in ladies. Amish chicks rare. It sounds weird, well amised chicks.

Speaker 4 (01:04:05):
That's the problem is you can't get them ahead of
time because they're not listening to satellite radio.

Speaker 1 (01:04:10):
As tender wait to give them two years two years.

Speaker 2 (01:04:12):
Each community has its own rules regarding rum Springer, but
it's usually lasts for around two years. During this time,
the adolescent is allowed to live outside of the community
without Amish restrictions. After that time is up, he or
she must return to the community and make a decision
in or out. If they say they're out, then they
don't have any contact with their family.

Speaker 4 (01:04:32):
Yeah, nobody will help them build her. I think most
of them end up going back two years.

Speaker 3 (01:04:36):
Yeah, there's really any of time to decide that you
miss your family, you'd rather just be there.

Speaker 2 (01:04:40):
Yeah, they go back because they have to say goodbye
my community.

Speaker 4 (01:04:44):
They are thrown into this weird That's why there was
a that makes more sense two years because that's why
they be a reality show about it, because they have
time with a group of.

Speaker 2 (01:04:53):
Kids, smoking, drinking it fucking what do you have on
this e rock? Remember a while back we talked about
whether it is breaking amish breaking reality show. Yeah, it
was not TLC.

Speaker 1 (01:05:05):
I'm sure they weren't casted. Hey you never know. I
mean they look pretty wacky. That guy in the.

Speaker 4 (01:05:11):
Ready pretend to be homish, yet to go on spring.

Speaker 1 (01:05:16):
To see a light bulb and pretend to be surprised.

Speaker 2 (01:05:18):
Guy in the red shirt definitely needs a straw hat.

Speaker 1 (01:05:21):
Yeah right, it looks like he just took it off.
That's what I'm thinking.

Speaker 5 (01:05:25):
You're not allowed to get tattoos if you're fucking.

Speaker 1 (01:05:27):
He broke free? Oh he did.

Speaker 2 (01:05:29):
Yeah, some of them break free and they don't go back.

Speaker 1 (01:05:32):
How could you go back after seeing an iPad and
you know the TV if you.

Speaker 5 (01:05:36):
Come from a loving family, Yeah, yes, if you think
about it, Like, uh, you see do you share a
movie Captain America?

Speaker 1 (01:05:45):
Yes, how it was a good movie. Yeah, I like,
do you see how it's life?

Speaker 5 (01:05:49):
I mean, how peaceful and how not dealing with Like
you don't have cage, but my daughter's on the fucking
iPad all the time. He does nothing like you and
that and the message is we have and a bunch
of kids that are stuck on iPad.

Speaker 1 (01:06:02):
Sure not climbing mountains. Yeah right, you know what I mean.
They're building homes, they're making butter.

Speaker 3 (01:06:07):
And they're doing everything, but we depend on that.

Speaker 2 (01:06:10):
Frustrated.

Speaker 3 (01:06:11):
Why Captain America was a soldier during the war.

Speaker 2 (01:06:15):
How is that peaceful?

Speaker 7 (01:06:17):
No?

Speaker 5 (01:06:17):
The new movie that came out, Oh, Captain Fantastic. Oh
that was great, Captain Fantastic.

Speaker 3 (01:06:24):
I forget the.

Speaker 4 (01:06:27):
Really interesting how long that went on for because I
wasn't paid total attention, But yeah, when you said capt Fantastic,
marks like, I like all of those movies you see anything,
didn't that hit your brain?

Speaker 15 (01:06:38):
Like?

Speaker 3 (01:06:38):
Why does he think there's more than one fantastic Captain Fantastic.

Speaker 1 (01:06:40):
I was on the show. Yeah, I've been Captain Fantastic.
But I've seen that too. Not as many superpowers.

Speaker 2 (01:06:53):
This weekend. Boss, you're killing it too, which.

Speaker 3 (01:06:56):
Has a podcast Rich loves being confused about movies. Captain Whatever.

Speaker 1 (01:07:02):
You guys seen Captain Phillips?

Speaker 2 (01:07:05):
Yeah, that guy had.

Speaker 3 (01:07:05):
So much downtime. He seems so peaceful.

Speaker 5 (01:07:10):
Fuck that one up. I'm coming back to the second half.

Speaker 1 (01:07:13):
Have you seen Captain Ron Voss this weekend?

Speaker 2 (01:07:17):
I gotta I gotta stop you again. Oh, I gotta
stop you again. I just happened to check my Instagram
Opie radio on Instagram.

Speaker 1 (01:07:25):
Cheap plug.

Speaker 2 (01:07:26):
He goes, ask Boss, what about the milk company? It
started with the milk Remember what about the milk company?
They could have a pissed off worker who seals the
bit in how you get that?

Speaker 5 (01:07:37):
That's you know what? You gotta draw the line somewhere
much I do. I can't fit a cow in my
fucking townhouse.

Speaker 1 (01:07:45):
Oh, come on, I've seen Bunny.

Speaker 2 (01:07:47):
But that's a great question. And if someone's gonna be
pissed off, it's gonna be a guy working on a
milk factory.

Speaker 1 (01:07:54):
Yeah right, Yeah, they don't seal it by hand. Yeah,
but you could you could like pee in the vat.
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:08:03):
Yeah, something's done before the machinery seals up the.

Speaker 1 (01:08:07):
Milk, rat droppings, hair dander. Right.

Speaker 2 (01:08:11):
I just wanted Rich to be freaked out about this.
I'm going to powdered milk. Now, I grew up with
that ship. It's horrendous. No, I'm not telling about where
you had water and had milk.

Speaker 1 (01:08:22):
That's what we had. Oh, get the fuck out.

Speaker 2 (01:08:24):
One of seven kids, not a lot of money, powdered
powdered milk, and and for a treat they would like
they would cut it with real milk, so it would
be half living large. That's when we were living large.
That's right, Mark Norman. That's when, Oh god, I'm serious,
but seven kids. Imagine how much milk we were going
through as.

Speaker 1 (01:08:42):
We're all growing up.

Speaker 4 (01:08:43):
Some baby, laxative baby, Yeah, because that's how you cut things,
powdered milk on.

Speaker 3 (01:08:52):
Rich is thinking about three or four jokes ago.

Speaker 1 (01:08:56):
You're still working on something.

Speaker 5 (01:08:58):
Yeah, this weekend, I'll be a Governor's that's it.

Speaker 3 (01:09:05):
You're just still now. I was thinking of the baby
las one.

Speaker 5 (01:09:12):
Now it's when I was when I cut coke with
the wrong like when I was smoking it and I
cut it with the wraw. I didn't have the right cut,
so I crushed up these whatever and and I cut
it with and you couldn't cook the coke and it
sucked up like a lot of my coke. And if
you smoke coke and you cut it with the wrong thing,

(01:09:32):
you're fucked. And you know, and only Pushy snorted, you
know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (01:09:36):
You're shooting tore basing. Yeah, yeah, wow, what did you
cut it with? You're supposed to cut it?

Speaker 5 (01:09:43):
Well, they said lax it accident or yeah, but I
don't because I think baby lasser or is vitamin B.
You know, there's a cut, you know, a powder, but
if you do it with a pill form, it won't cook.
I'm just saying, if you're out there cooking.

Speaker 4 (01:10:02):
Uh, all right, cooking, cooking, tips, cooking, and can I
finish my plug though you're done?

Speaker 2 (01:10:10):
No, I'm sorry.

Speaker 3 (01:10:11):
I'll do the main ones doctors.

Speaker 1 (01:10:13):
This weekend is the main one.

Speaker 5 (01:10:15):
Next next Thursday at the ice House in Pasadena, I
barely ever come out west and Friday at Winston's in
San Diego. So next Thursday, Ice House Pasadena next Friday,
Winston San Diego Saturday and.

Speaker 4 (01:10:29):
Part of San Diego's Winston's and I don't know it
probably is I'm doing the Winston's party.

Speaker 5 (01:10:38):
It's going to some club that does you know? Weekend
I'm doing an NA convention next Saturday. So I tied
the Friday and all right.

Speaker 1 (01:10:45):
Good, I'll tell me your story with the cutting, uh
Doug Benson please?

Speaker 4 (01:10:50):
Oh yeah, I'm gonna be doing Douglas Movies in Los
Angeles on April ninth, eleventh, and fifteenth, all three of
those dates, different times at a meltdown comics on Sunset
Bulevard Douglas Moovies dot Com for all my information and
links to tickets.

Speaker 1 (01:11:08):
Very cool.

Speaker 2 (01:11:09):
And we finally got the Opie Radio podcast up and
running again on iTunes and Google Play. We got some
med Cuban, We got the Jerry Springer birthday cake.

Speaker 1 (01:11:18):
What else?

Speaker 2 (01:11:19):
Tippy Tom reveals he allegedly had an encounter with Barry Manilo.
We had the Barry Manilo news back in two thousand
and eight. We had a homeless guy that was hilarious,
came in told this story. We believed him. Basically said
that he hooked up with Barry Manilo described and named
where he lived, what kind of dog he had, and
at the time we believed him. And then forward nine years,

(01:11:42):
you know, Barry Manilo finally emits his gig.

Speaker 4 (01:11:44):
I knew around eighty five. You knew it at around
eighty five. Yeah, how do you know? Because I was
at the mall in Los Angeles and I saw him
walking around with another dude and they seemed like a couple,
and he was wearing like a pink jacket.

Speaker 3 (01:11:58):
I was really struck by that. I was like, what's
going on with this guy?

Speaker 4 (01:12:01):
And then from that point forward, this entire time, I've
just I've been on the same page with him. All
of his fans are housewives that are in love with him,
Like I've seen a few Barry Manila shows over the years,
and the whole crowd is just in love with him.

Speaker 3 (01:12:17):
So you know, it's probably smart to wait. He didn't
have to wait this long.

Speaker 2 (01:12:20):
Yeah, but if he's walked around a mall and a
pig shirt in nineteen eighty five, that's a that's pretty
much a giveaway, huh.

Speaker 4 (01:12:25):
I saw him, and then I ran into the record
store and bought his most recent record. It was around
the time that jazz record came out where he did
all jazz on a record, And I went up to him.
And because I had a friend who was a big
Berry Manuala fan. I've always liked him, you know, because
I had the movie Foul Play. He's got that song
in there. But my friend was a huge fan, so
I was like, Oh, just get very manial to sign

(01:12:46):
this thing.

Speaker 3 (01:12:47):
I've rarely done that sort of thing.

Speaker 4 (01:12:48):
Yeah, And I went up to him and handed him
like a ballpoint pen and the album and said, you know,
will you sign this? And he went, come here, come here,
and took me around a corner blew the ship.

Speaker 1 (01:13:01):
Out of.

Speaker 24 (01:13:03):
It's still funny, still funny that I agreed with it,
But that's also I wasn't gonna say, and I was
gonna say what really happened, which was just that he uh,
he was like irritated with me because the plastic was
still on the.

Speaker 3 (01:13:16):
Album, so he had to tear the plastic off. Here's
how you do it.

Speaker 4 (01:13:19):
He turns the plastic off, signs it real quick with
just a ballpoint pen that I that I had, and
then uh and and then you know, before I knew
it was gone, and I kind of had a bad
feeling about it, like, you know, I shouldn't have bothered him,
Like he wasn't too happy about it, and he's gay.

Speaker 5 (01:13:33):
Right going on, I read forty tweets about how I
was right about.

Speaker 2 (01:13:42):
To get that in I'm gonna pull the audio.

Speaker 1 (01:13:46):
Jewish Twitter is going crazy right now.

Speaker 2 (01:13:49):
Do you still have that Barry Manelo album?

Speaker 4 (01:13:51):
No, I got it for a friend, but I bet
she still has it.

Speaker 3 (01:13:58):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeh.

Speaker 4 (01:14:02):
Randy Yeah, Ready to Change My Life Again or something
like that from the movie. It's in the beginning of
foul Play when they's when Goldie Hawn is driving up
the coast to Jesus Francisco.

Speaker 1 (01:14:14):
Well, he's the movie guy.

Speaker 2 (01:14:15):
Yeah, no, I understand that.

Speaker 3 (01:14:17):
But I love that movie when when I was young,
r Chevy Chase, you know.

Speaker 1 (01:14:22):
Stop loving it at some point, I think, probably.

Speaker 3 (01:14:24):
It doesn't hold up. I'm guessing if you watch it now,
but maybe it does.

Speaker 1 (01:14:29):
You see Captain fantastic. All right, listen, we got to
take a break.

Speaker 2 (01:14:34):
Finally we got Doug Benson, Mark Norman and Rich Voss
will continue to stay there.

Speaker 15 (01:14:40):
We'll be back with more Opie Radio after this. Opie
Radio is back.

Speaker 1 (01:14:52):
Little Martley Crue.

Speaker 2 (01:14:53):
We got a busy room today, Doug Benson, who's just
been crushing it all week for us. We got Mark Norman,
we got who's doing really well today. My god, this
rich boss is amazing and it's called sarcasm relaxed. And
then we got Mad Cuban over here to loll.

Speaker 3 (01:15:10):
Carl, have you seen this movie, Captain Fantastic The Winter Shoulder?

Speaker 5 (01:15:14):
Ah?

Speaker 1 (01:15:14):
No, oh, it's great. It's all people. It's really good.

Speaker 8 (01:15:18):
That sounds like it's gonna be. I just I just
jumped in to say goodbye. I'm going to Miami.

Speaker 4 (01:15:25):
I thought, like we talk about ordering food and then
you run through the door like kool aid like.

Speaker 2 (01:15:31):
And you're like, you know, he's bringing something Cuban aid
and Carl, we brought our podcast back and he Rocks
just informed me it was because of your birthday, my friend.
How nice is that you go to iTunes and Google
Play and check out the OPI Radio podcast.

Speaker 1 (01:15:44):
It's all about you, It's about me.

Speaker 2 (01:15:46):
Yeah, the time you ran out to get Jerry Springer
a birthday cake?

Speaker 8 (01:15:49):
What an asshole? He really turned out to be some asshole.

Speaker 2 (01:15:52):
Do you guys hear about that one? What we had
Jerry Springer in here. We were having a good time,
and then Jerry's like, it's good, it's my birthday like
or or soon or whatever. They Terry Springer so man
Cuba and he's a foodie guy. He runs out. He
wants to do the right thing and get Terry Springer.
Really nice cake comes back, big presentation, blah blah blah.
While he's gone, Springer goes, well, actually my birthday's not

(01:16:14):
for another month.

Speaker 1 (01:16:15):
Oh and then that's serious.

Speaker 2 (01:16:17):
Yeah, And then Cuban was a little pissed.

Speaker 1 (01:16:20):
There's a liar.

Speaker 2 (01:16:21):
Yeah, my god, you know what, I just realized that
probablyhouldn't grow my beard that long.

Speaker 8 (01:16:26):
I wrote Happy Birthday.

Speaker 2 (01:16:38):
Painting for gold for a week, young young letterman.

Speaker 3 (01:16:42):
Wow, Yeah, that's character from the Hobbit, all right.

Speaker 1 (01:16:47):
He also paused, the damn thing.

Speaker 3 (01:16:52):
You're not fucking whittling with a corn, you're creating that's
special about young Santa Cringle.

Speaker 2 (01:17:03):
Anyway, what do you want to I came in, I
came into uh.

Speaker 8 (01:17:09):
I came in to do food court with a chef.

Speaker 25 (01:17:13):
And then this lady who wrote a book about something
Balthazar some ship, and she had a fucking meltdown.

Speaker 1 (01:17:19):
Why she hated.

Speaker 25 (01:17:21):
She hated me in Roland. She started saying that all
we talk about is money and at the restaurants. You know,
a restaurant shouldn't have to be made to make money.
I'm still rattled.

Speaker 2 (01:17:29):
From So why did she agree to do your show?

Speaker 10 (01:17:32):
I don't know, I.

Speaker 8 (01:17:33):
Don't know where she came from, but we got him
the funk out of there.

Speaker 1 (01:17:36):
Really it was bad. It was uncomfortable. I love when
it gets uncomfortable. I love it.

Speaker 8 (01:17:43):
What did she do material?

Speaker 3 (01:17:45):
Really? What does she do for a living?

Speaker 1 (01:17:47):
You said?

Speaker 25 (01:17:47):
She she wrote a book about a restaurant called Balthazar.

Speaker 1 (01:17:50):
Oh yeah, and bizarre.

Speaker 8 (01:17:52):
That was a great restaurant.

Speaker 25 (01:17:54):
So she started telling us that, you know, nobody should
care about making money when they do restaurants. And then
I quietly reminded her baflas are makes like twenty five
million a year. Guy owns a fucking unicorn?

Speaker 3 (01:18:03):
Which you giving a fucking book away for free?

Speaker 8 (01:18:05):
Nope?

Speaker 3 (01:18:06):
Yeah right, tell her go fuck herself.

Speaker 8 (01:18:08):
I could have used you.

Speaker 1 (01:18:09):
Was that the you gave me?

Speaker 8 (01:18:10):
Man like you?

Speaker 3 (01:18:10):
And was that?

Speaker 2 (01:18:11):
Was it that the book you gave me?

Speaker 3 (01:18:13):
No?

Speaker 8 (01:18:13):
No, no, that's Lydia. We did hurt today. She's a
great Yeah, that book.

Speaker 1 (01:18:16):
Was I mean, that book was ridiculous.

Speaker 25 (01:18:19):
Oh really, you should have seen Opie's face he opened
it up, didn't see a picture, just made that face
that he makes.

Speaker 8 (01:18:24):
Cold waffle Opie, if.

Speaker 2 (01:18:27):
You open up a cookbook, you want to see a.

Speaker 1 (01:18:28):
Picture, right, it'd be nice like a waffle house menu. Alright,
let me say.

Speaker 2 (01:18:37):
Let me say hi to Chris the Teacher. He's one
of our regulars. Chris, go ahead, busy room today, sir.

Speaker 1 (01:18:44):
I love it. Hello. Here's your phone? Yeah, anybody? Yeah,
your phone's crapping out. Go ahead, try again.

Speaker 17 (01:18:53):
Sorry, I just want to tell Mark Norman something.

Speaker 1 (01:18:57):
Uh, this isn't good.

Speaker 19 (01:18:59):
Love your dude, I just started it. Oh thanks, And
I'm like, I've gotten through about a year and a
half worth of shows in about a week.

Speaker 1 (01:19:06):
Oh. It gets worse as it goes on. But thank you.
I appreciate it, buddy. Sounds like you got less time
for the Oapster though, Chris.

Speaker 19 (01:19:13):
Uh, oh, I make it work. I got a vacation
coming up.

Speaker 2 (01:19:17):
All right, I'll see you guys.

Speaker 10 (01:19:18):
I'll see all you.

Speaker 19 (01:19:19):
A handsome fellas Monday night.

Speaker 2 (01:19:21):
Nice nice big comedy show at the Village Underground.

Speaker 1 (01:19:24):
I got on the second boss still in there, Yes,
yes he is. He's crushing Remember me, buddy.

Speaker 19 (01:19:30):
I met you at the Dyser thing when you killed
a room full of stiffs.

Speaker 5 (01:19:33):
Oh that was yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah happened fantastic.

Speaker 1 (01:19:37):
Thank you. What happened?

Speaker 5 (01:19:39):
Lenny dyks show was promoting his book or something, yeah,
and I had to host the event and it was
all these and then they put some sports guy with
me that I just took over and I interviewed Dykstra
and I.

Speaker 1 (01:19:51):
Did some stand up. Who's the sports guy? I don't remember.

Speaker 5 (01:19:54):
It might be this guy on the phone right now now,
I don't know. He was some guy from radio. But
it was all Dykstra fans and all dudes, you know,
And it was and you can hardly understand him on,
you know, because you know, you know, you think I.

Speaker 1 (01:20:08):
Held him on. Yeah, I was a little frustrated.

Speaker 2 (01:20:10):
Read that whole book. It's a really good book.

Speaker 1 (01:20:12):
And then the interview wasn't that hot because he mumbles.
I mean that's coming from a mumbler like Chris.

Speaker 2 (01:20:20):
You were there that day with you up top.

Speaker 1 (01:20:25):
We're losing your body.

Speaker 5 (01:20:26):
Oh this guy's I'm a big fan of this caller.

Speaker 4 (01:20:29):
That's what happens when you had to compliment Rich Ross
your phone craps out.

Speaker 2 (01:20:32):
Yeah, Chris the teacher, he loves your podcast. Where you going?
I gotta go where you're going?

Speaker 3 (01:20:38):
I gotta go home.

Speaker 8 (01:20:38):
I gotta pack, I gotta go to Miami.

Speaker 1 (01:20:40):
What are you leaving?

Speaker 21 (01:20:42):
Uh?

Speaker 8 (01:20:42):
Tonight? Wait?

Speaker 5 (01:20:43):
Why do you go to Miami for my grandmother's nineteth birthday?

Speaker 8 (01:20:46):
Oh fucking nightmare?

Speaker 3 (01:20:48):
Why going?

Speaker 8 (01:20:48):
They should be having his party? It's a long story.

Speaker 3 (01:20:52):
What uh? Why is there a birthday actually a month
from now?

Speaker 8 (01:20:55):
No, I wish it was.

Speaker 25 (01:20:57):
My mother booked a party and she turned it into
a prom, and now it's costing me ten grand And
I'm gonna give hi middle finger to every piece of
ship family member.

Speaker 3 (01:21:05):
Yeah, why you have financing the whole?

Speaker 2 (01:21:07):
Why no one else could ship in?

Speaker 7 (01:21:09):
My brother?

Speaker 8 (01:21:10):
But my brother has a weird way of doing math.
Fifty to fifty to him, isn't really fifteen fifties isn't painted.
I'll leave the dip. That's what my brother is.

Speaker 2 (01:21:17):
And he makes more than you.

Speaker 8 (01:21:18):
You know, It's like he wins a fucking lot of
every two hours.

Speaker 1 (01:21:20):
You know what His brother does no matter thoracic surgeon.

Speaker 8 (01:21:23):
What what cardiothoracic surgeon?

Speaker 1 (01:21:26):
But you're gonna need him later.

Speaker 8 (01:21:29):
I need him to you.

Speaker 2 (01:21:31):
And that's why he eats with such a confidence. You're right,
he's got something in his back pocket.

Speaker 8 (01:21:37):
No ship, I told hoping this my brother.

Speaker 25 (01:21:39):
He gave me a stress test and everything, and he's
really to the point like he's the real thing.

Speaker 8 (01:21:42):
He looks at me.

Speaker 1 (01:21:44):
You're too far gone. Just do fuck you want? Great?
He did that.

Speaker 8 (01:21:47):
He said, what are you gonna do? Carl? You're not
gonna stop you. This is your business.

Speaker 1 (01:21:50):
Yeah, what you're gonna do. That's what Doug's weed dealer said.

Speaker 8 (01:21:53):
Yeah, he said, can you do me a favorite? Just
one thing? To drink water? You know really, because he
says that's the biggest.

Speaker 1 (01:21:58):
Problem water water.

Speaker 25 (01:22:00):
It moves the highway around. So if you don't drink water,
things are harder to get around.

Speaker 3 (01:22:03):
So what about coffee? Water in coffee?

Speaker 8 (01:22:06):
I'm the other brother, all right?

Speaker 3 (01:22:09):
Answer?

Speaker 2 (01:22:10):
Does he perfectly perfect?

Speaker 1 (01:22:12):
So weird?

Speaker 3 (01:22:13):
You ever get kidney stones?

Speaker 6 (01:22:14):
No?

Speaker 3 (01:22:15):
Because all that soda pop might be Uh right, I'm problem.

Speaker 8 (01:22:19):
On my way to get one, but I haven't got
it yet.

Speaker 5 (01:22:21):
And we don't say soda pop. But anyhow, here's the thing.
Last week I had, I bought Bonnie two cakes for
her birthday. One was regular cake, twenty bucks. Then in
the vegan cake, fucking dollars.

Speaker 1 (01:22:34):
It was so good. You like the vegan Yeah, it
was that dark chocolate.

Speaker 5 (01:22:37):
But seventy bucks to not put ingredient chin It's it's
we laugh behind everybody's back in the restaurant business.

Speaker 8 (01:22:45):
Yeah, the suckers.

Speaker 25 (01:22:46):
It's called the vegan tax, and you literally charge whatever
the fuck.

Speaker 4 (01:22:52):
What about when you say something something's gluten free, what
do you have to do to make that happen?

Speaker 25 (01:22:57):
Well, basically, gluten free is very simple. You just add
a couple of things. But the best thing with gluten
free is most people you add things to make it. Yeah,
you would add a gluten free pasta. You would add
the actual drive pasta.

Speaker 8 (01:23:07):
That's gluten free, and then it's gluten free.

Speaker 25 (01:23:08):
But what's create is that once you understand that most
customers aren't coeliac, they don't have coeliac.

Speaker 8 (01:23:15):
Yeah, we give them gluten all over the place and
just watch them. They're like, this is great, I feel
so much lighter.

Speaker 3 (01:23:20):
WHOA all right? Don't forget to mention the two places
people should come see you.

Speaker 8 (01:23:26):
I'm not talking about my restaurants.

Speaker 3 (01:23:30):
Why is he being a twenty.

Speaker 4 (01:23:31):
Ft because you you were telling us about how people
come in that listen to the show, and now if
someone comes in the.

Speaker 8 (01:23:37):
Restaurant, you know we don't do it. We won't do it.

Speaker 1 (01:23:40):
Oh you can restaurants, unbelievable.

Speaker 5 (01:23:44):
Somebody that like you, that smokes pot all the time
and has munchies would love his.

Speaker 3 (01:23:49):
We don't cater.

Speaker 8 (01:23:49):
It's something we don't know about, so we tell you. Listen,
you know we do old school food.

Speaker 25 (01:23:54):
If you have some space fucking issue or something buoying
a bubble, shit, it's not your place.

Speaker 8 (01:23:59):
It's not your place.

Speaker 3 (01:24:00):
Stay in your bubble.

Speaker 8 (01:24:00):
Stay in your fucking bubble.

Speaker 3 (01:24:02):
There you go.

Speaker 2 (01:24:02):
You don't worry about food allergies. You don't ask the
We don't have any nuts at Marie really Pops.

Speaker 1 (01:24:08):
You do.

Speaker 8 (01:24:08):
But it's a nut free restaurant, so we're good that.
I understand the nuts.

Speaker 3 (01:24:13):
If it's nut free, what do you mean no nuts?

Speaker 2 (01:24:15):
He's got He's got two joints. One has nuts, the
other doesn't.

Speaker 1 (01:24:19):
Right, Yeah, okay, when did that?

Speaker 8 (01:24:21):
I'm gonna leave. I think it's gonna turn a little ugly.

Speaker 3 (01:24:24):
Why your restaurants are like, oh, I'm a joy in mounds?
Well god nuts the other one?

Speaker 1 (01:24:30):
Yeah, classic stone Er joke.

Speaker 5 (01:24:36):
How do you follow that? Why don't come up with
a tweaky bit? I'm fucking out.

Speaker 2 (01:24:44):
You were gonna say, when did the nut things start?
Right Voss? I heard you in there? Yeah yeah, I
find that weird too. When we were growing up, we
didn't have a nut algies.

Speaker 25 (01:24:53):
My brother says, it's people are having kids late and
everything's all fucked up and I could do it.

Speaker 2 (01:24:57):
Where did it come from?

Speaker 1 (01:24:58):
For real, let's look up.

Speaker 3 (01:25:00):
It's the day of the first no nut allergy.

Speaker 2 (01:25:02):
Because now it's like those I mean, they'll shut down
a school if peanut makes it through the front door.
I'm not for real, they will.

Speaker 4 (01:25:11):
Peanuts are the parties for kids now at schools it's
like chech me nothing.

Speaker 8 (01:25:15):
They're all sitting there like eating stick. There's nothing. You
can't bring anything.

Speaker 1 (01:25:18):
Peanuts of the new terrorist does shut everything down?

Speaker 2 (01:25:21):
But where did it begin?

Speaker 4 (01:25:23):
Did we always have the history of the peanut allergy epidemic?

Speaker 1 (01:25:27):
Then it was a white kid?

Speaker 2 (01:25:28):
Uh, maybe we should get doctor Steve on the phone,
he could like instead of reading this long fucking article
about it. God, yeah, if you can get Steve on
the phone. It seems like it's a new thing, and
I wonder what it's based on.

Speaker 1 (01:25:41):
Yeah, allergies are a luxury because poor people don't have them.

Speaker 5 (01:25:46):
Because they're they're so used to the fucking dirt.

Speaker 1 (01:25:48):
Not dirt. I mean, I feel like.

Speaker 3 (01:25:54):
I've been hearing about peanut allergies my whole life.

Speaker 4 (01:25:57):
Though weird cases of it. We're had a bad reaction
and like on sitcoms and stuff.

Speaker 1 (01:26:04):
When I was a kid at peanuts on airplanes. Now
it's not all out on airplane.

Speaker 5 (01:26:07):
Yeah, I meaner to Macadamian nuts, you gotta be a
real nose of the best nuts in the world.

Speaker 1 (01:26:13):
They are. How the fuck you you look like one?

Speaker 5 (01:26:18):
That's why, motherfucker, I want to figure a bite out
of you now, scallop hell, I'm.

Speaker 2 (01:26:30):
Gonna come back at you hard.

Speaker 1 (01:26:31):
These are all Carl's menu items.

Speaker 2 (01:26:34):
I go out almonds before macmons, our fucking ghetto.

Speaker 1 (01:26:39):
Anybody can get along them. Wait a minute, which one
is which? What's a Philbert? We got? Doctor Steve?

Speaker 2 (01:26:45):
Sit down, Carl, you're going nowhere, I got a headphones. Oh,
just sit down, doctor, Steve. Hey man, I think we've
discussed this in the past, but peanut allergies came up again.
And for us older gentlemen that you know, when we
were growing up, we didn't have peena analogies. And now
it's all the rage and and people completely panic if
they find a peanut in the area, and they'll shut
down our entire school. So do you know where it

(01:27:08):
kind of turned and and why.

Speaker 19 (01:27:12):
Well, they're One of the hypotheses is is that our
environment is too clean. Now we don't let kids play
in the dirt and they're not.

Speaker 1 (01:27:19):
Eating the ghetto.

Speaker 19 (01:27:29):
Hands and all that stuff. Saying earlier exposure to those
antigens actually improves kids' immune system as well.

Speaker 2 (01:27:39):
So the environment is too clean, and that's what might
might have turned this whole thing around.

Speaker 19 (01:27:44):
I might contribute to it, and then we're not exposing
our kids the certain foods as early as.

Speaker 2 (01:27:49):
We really peanuts, it's one of the first things that
kids should eat.

Speaker 3 (01:27:55):
But yeah, doctor, there's been there's been cases of peanutalogy.
He's going way back though, right.

Speaker 19 (01:28:02):
Oh, yes, of course, I had a friend who had
a peanut allergy going way way back, but he was
alertic to you know, and all like you.

Speaker 3 (01:28:15):
A life without all these kids cannot go or baseball game.

Speaker 8 (01:28:23):
Let me change my order.

Speaker 1 (01:28:24):
Paul, What about a pep and j though A million
of those as a kid.

Speaker 2 (01:28:29):
Not allowed in the schools, Like catch, when you're a parent,
it makes it tough when you're putting your your your
lunches together. For the kids, I have a whole fucking
we ate peanut butter and jelly three four times a
week album.

Speaker 3 (01:28:43):
Do they have peanut detectors outside the schools now?

Speaker 10 (01:28:46):
No, but I'll tell you that if they've got a
kid with it.

Speaker 19 (01:28:49):
In the class that was just from their school lunches.

Speaker 1 (01:28:54):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:28:55):
Well, they worry about the dust, tell them the peanut,
the peanut dust even.

Speaker 19 (01:29:00):
Yeah, no, there's no dust from peanut butter. It's that's
an overreaction. What they're worried about is kids are always
eating each other's stuff, and they're gross and first grade
they're just blobbering and mirroring the table with peanut butter,
and then the kid you know sticks his finger in it.

Speaker 2 (01:29:18):
I tell you meant they're eating each other's buttholes.

Speaker 1 (01:29:20):
Yeah, well, you heard that too. I just hope my
dog doesn't get an allergy. My balls need to shine,
the balls shin.

Speaker 2 (01:29:37):
All right, So what year did this all start?

Speaker 1 (01:29:40):
I don't know, but it's been.

Speaker 3 (01:29:42):
Around as.

Speaker 10 (01:29:44):
Morning with them, it's been.

Speaker 3 (01:29:46):
Around as long as, like say, rich Voss has been alive.

Speaker 10 (01:29:51):
Oh yeah, I mean look allergy.

Speaker 1 (01:29:53):
That was.

Speaker 2 (01:29:56):
Yeah, I got another question.

Speaker 4 (01:29:58):
Wasn't supposed to be funny? Who's the oldest person? My
brother when they mumbled under his breath. I don't know
if he was just mad at whatever something, but he
said one time, he's like, ah, these allergies. He goes,
all these moms are you know, they're having kids when
they're fifty?

Speaker 8 (01:30:10):
What the fuck do they expect? What does that mean anything?

Speaker 2 (01:30:14):
Slow the fuck down? And I'm an older parent, you motherfucker.

Speaker 8 (01:30:17):
That means say what my brother said, rubs aren't sneezing.

Speaker 1 (01:30:21):
I am.

Speaker 2 (01:30:25):
I'm a mess with allergies.

Speaker 8 (01:30:27):
Is that true?

Speaker 1 (01:30:27):
Doctor? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:30:28):
Is it true if you're having kids later in life?

Speaker 7 (01:30:32):
Uh?

Speaker 19 (01:30:32):
Yeah, I'm not aware of any correlation between those two things.
There are some interesting uh uh changes in our differences
and kids that are born later. And I've read about
it before and now I'm completely fucking forgot what they are.

Speaker 1 (01:30:48):
Well, that's your homework tonight.

Speaker 10 (01:30:51):
I can't relate to me, but I'll tell you it's
very interesting.

Speaker 2 (01:30:53):
All right. Can I change the topic. Well, I have
you on the phone now. We were talking about the
little well, the little fishies or the parasites or whatever
that swim up your pee hoole. And now I check
my Twitter and someone's saying that's a myth.

Speaker 10 (01:31:08):
No, no, no, actually, actually it's the extent of it
is mythic. But you and I talked about this a
long time ago on the old show.

Speaker 19 (01:31:21):
There are fish in the Amazon Amazon changes in temperature,
and at first they thought that and I knew all
about it backs in so I've forgotten a lot of
the facts. But this fish is real, narrow and if
it does happen to swim up your eureach, and they
did dissect at least one of these out of a

(01:31:44):
person's penis surgically, that's proven. And you know fish scales.
You know, if you rub a fish one way, it's smooth,
but if you rub it the wrong way, you know,
the spines of its dorsal and ventral fins will stick you.

Speaker 10 (01:31:58):
In the hand.

Speaker 19 (01:31:58):
Right, So this thing will go up into the urethra,
but it can't get back out again, and.

Speaker 5 (01:32:03):
Unless it turns around and does turn around.

Speaker 10 (01:32:05):
Unless it turned around in your bladder and you plan.

Speaker 9 (01:32:08):
Back out again.

Speaker 10 (01:32:08):
Right, So if you try to pull the thing out.

Speaker 19 (01:32:12):
Those dorsal fins will expand and actually stick into the urethra.

Speaker 11 (01:32:17):
Staff infections come like a indeed, And it was it
was thought to be a myth until it was proven
in the surgical uh uh you know operating room.

Speaker 19 (01:32:29):
In the Amazon, when they pulled one of these out
of somebody's urethra.

Speaker 2 (01:32:33):
Right, speaking of pe holes, are you a fan of sounding.

Speaker 19 (01:32:39):
Yes, except here's the problem. You're a fan of it
well in the sense that people think it feels good, right,
so they stick things in their.

Speaker 1 (01:32:48):
Sounding where hole?

Speaker 5 (01:32:51):
Yeah, like that, he said, he's a fan of That's
what's great about when you have a small dick. That
that's where it comes into play because you don't have
to you know what, you.

Speaker 3 (01:33:02):
Got a gigantic dicks. You got to put.

Speaker 1 (01:33:03):
A lot of stuff in.

Speaker 3 (01:33:06):
You see what I'm saying.

Speaker 5 (01:33:07):
Like when I had my uh what was tested where
they put a microscope through your dick?

Speaker 19 (01:33:13):
Hall?

Speaker 3 (01:33:13):
What?

Speaker 1 (01:33:13):
What?

Speaker 5 (01:33:13):
What part of my body was tested.

Speaker 19 (01:33:16):
Your bladder if they did a sistoscopy that, yeah, I.

Speaker 3 (01:33:21):
Went to the doc.

Speaker 2 (01:33:22):
Didn't even did put me to sleep, horrendous, didn't even
put me to sleep.

Speaker 10 (01:33:27):
Here's the hole they.

Speaker 1 (01:33:31):
Put up there.

Speaker 3 (01:33:32):
Whoa Christmas pass?

Speaker 1 (01:33:36):
Listen.

Speaker 3 (01:33:37):
They put a fucking thing in my cock to take pictures.

Speaker 2 (01:33:40):
Yeah, in the plan. That's why the cam quartered joke.

Speaker 1 (01:33:45):
Yeah, I'm old.

Speaker 2 (01:33:46):
And then doctor Steve just hangs up on that nice
cigare rich.

Speaker 3 (01:33:49):
No, he talk about dick.

Speaker 2 (01:33:51):
Stuff, but he said he was a fan of sounding.
I heard people are into this ship. You put stuff
up your peep hole and then it gets bigger and
try all the ship.

Speaker 5 (01:34:01):
Well remember all the times when you're growing up you
had to clap and they would put.

Speaker 1 (01:34:03):
The fucking Q tip Q tip?

Speaker 5 (01:34:06):
Yeah, and uh were they going to serve.

Speaker 1 (01:34:08):
It to you?

Speaker 23 (01:34:09):
No?

Speaker 8 (01:34:09):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:34:10):
I didn't I didn't order that. Hey, Paul was very confused. Paul,
could you put up sounding on the old computer? Did
you hear that old that old Asian torture trick where
they get you hard, they hammer a glass rod into
your p hoole, then they shatter it. Then they make
your pee so you're pissing out the glass shards. That
was a fraternity thing.

Speaker 2 (01:34:30):
I thought, yeah, what the hell, why would they do
this a torture tactic?

Speaker 1 (01:34:35):
Well, how about this one in in uh?

Speaker 5 (01:34:37):
I saw in Tutors the TV show that they would
fucking shield your asshole close, burn it, sow shield and
you couldn't shitt and you would just fucking die from
all the building up things.

Speaker 2 (01:34:50):
All right, doctor Steve, we want to know why you're
a fan of sounding.

Speaker 10 (01:34:55):
Hey, oh hey, I'm back. I didn't hang out my promise.
I I'm not a fan. I'm just not a just.

Speaker 19 (01:35:02):
Say no type of person when it comes to sexual
manipulation of different orifices. If people enjoy it, you know,
let them do what they want.

Speaker 2 (01:35:11):
Wait, but it makes it yeah, hold on though, it
makes it sound like you're you've had this done to you.

Speaker 19 (01:35:17):
No, but I've seen the after effect in the emergency room,
and this is what will happen. Someone sounding their cock,
you know, their their urethra with a paper clip, and
then they and then they go oops, and then they
let go of it, and now you've got to go
in and pull the fucking thing out. And only a

(01:35:38):
urologists can do that.

Speaker 3 (01:35:40):
And you know what, whenever you need a pile.

Speaker 19 (01:35:48):
Hey, now I had the same procedure Rich had where
they stick the camera up your cock hole and they
put this. They make a big deal out of putting
numbing cream on it. They say, oh, this gonna numb
it up. The only person that makes feel better is
the urologist because it still hurts like a mother buck.

Speaker 3 (01:36:05):
Yeah, but you have yours done in a van.

Speaker 1 (01:36:10):
There we go, get it.

Speaker 3 (01:36:14):
That's one I got five.

Speaker 19 (01:36:20):
But that's the problem with sounding is you's got to
make sure you use.

Speaker 10 (01:36:24):
That and and it It can be dangerous.

Speaker 19 (01:36:26):
People have perporated their us Why problem sounding?

Speaker 1 (01:36:33):
Yeah, everybody hears you scream.

Speaker 3 (01:36:35):
What the fucking paper clippers going in your peens hand?

Speaker 1 (01:36:38):
It's pretty big?

Speaker 2 (01:36:39):
Yeah. Why why are they call it sounding? That's a
great question.

Speaker 10 (01:36:44):
Uh that's a nautical term, right. They do sounding when
they would take up a stick and see how deep
the water was.

Speaker 1 (01:36:54):
Video, Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:37:06):
That looks like a hot dog that was overcooked. Oh
my lord, doctor Steve. But why where where's the sensation come?

Speaker 1 (01:37:14):
Where?

Speaker 2 (01:37:14):
It feels good to some people?

Speaker 19 (01:37:16):
What do we from the urethra? Because the only thing
that's supposed to be in the urethra is urine and semen, right,
and so when you stick something solid in there, you
get this really intense sensation. I found it to be
highly unpleasant, but there you know, there are people that
get off on that, I guess. But my thing is, look,
if you're gonna, if you're gonna do this, you get well.

(01:37:41):
I can't even recommend it because it is you can't
do this.

Speaker 3 (01:37:47):
Careful.

Speaker 19 (01:37:49):
Just be fucking careful and use don't use instruments that
have sharp edges and ones that you can let go
of and.

Speaker 1 (01:37:56):
End up so like a letter opener has been.

Speaker 19 (01:38:06):
I don't know. I want people to enjoy themselves, but
that one is that's that's that one is fraught with danger.
But so is Champagne animal. Champagne animals people have died?

Speaker 1 (01:38:16):
What really?

Speaker 2 (01:38:18):
Yeah, goods right into your system.

Speaker 1 (01:38:20):
I do angel fish.

Speaker 3 (01:38:24):
Are uh, Champagne anim is a great oasis song.

Speaker 2 (01:38:36):
Guy, I know.

Speaker 1 (01:38:38):
Okay, what about a video of a Champagne of that
I feel like we could we could get into.

Speaker 2 (01:38:42):
How about we make a deal. You do one video,
We'll do one champagna all right, all right, we can
make a deal. Hey, doctor Steve. But their people are
now screaming. Will give us one thing that we should
try it with.

Speaker 8 (01:38:55):
Oh what actually?

Speaker 3 (01:38:57):
Starter?

Speaker 19 (01:38:58):
If you want to do it with a your read
troll sound you have to get.

Speaker 2 (01:39:02):
How about everyday things you can find around your house?

Speaker 9 (01:39:05):
No, well what would that mean?

Speaker 3 (01:39:07):
Like a big the middle?

Speaker 2 (01:39:09):
Should we go with a big No?

Speaker 1 (01:39:12):
Just do a Q towse.

Speaker 9 (01:39:13):
Don't do what you.

Speaker 10 (01:39:15):
Just don't do it.

Speaker 1 (01:39:17):
Take your pan apart, That's what I said.

Speaker 3 (01:39:19):
If you took the end of the cute, the catting
off the ends of a Q tip.

Speaker 19 (01:39:22):
Yeah, it's it's got a sharp end.

Speaker 26 (01:39:26):
A battery, A battery?

Speaker 3 (01:39:32):
Where did you come with?

Speaker 1 (01:39:33):
Go to nine volt.

Speaker 2 (01:39:36):
Is very angry when it comes to his jutha car battery?

Speaker 19 (01:39:42):
All right, doctors, they actually make your throt sound urgon
and that would be the only thing I could even
imagine that would be safe. Okay, And even then I
would do it only under a doctor supervision.

Speaker 1 (01:39:56):
You know what.

Speaker 2 (01:39:58):
A doctor? You know gonna get kinky with a door there.

Speaker 3 (01:40:02):
When my fucking wife is ramming things in my cock.

Speaker 1 (01:40:04):
I always wanted, right, could be a lady doctor? Huh?
Could be a lady doctor.

Speaker 8 (01:40:13):
That's even worse.

Speaker 1 (01:40:14):
I can be the worst lady doctor story. Oh boy,
hold on, Steve, let's hear this. Rich.

Speaker 5 (01:40:21):
I couldn't stop pissing one night, so I thought something
was wrong. I was pissing off, so I went to
the emergency room and the fucking lady the lady doctor
checked my prostate, put two fingers in my ass, said
everything and just leave, and she goes. I loved you
on last comic.

Speaker 3 (01:40:37):
Fingering my ass.

Speaker 1 (01:40:38):
That's happy ending.

Speaker 4 (01:40:40):
You're right, that was the worst. Dug up again, he
didn't tell us the worst story. Different story.

Speaker 23 (01:41:00):
With this.

Speaker 3 (01:41:00):
What are you drinking? I don't know because I don't
check it first and start drinking here on Thursdays? What's that?

Speaker 8 (01:41:09):
What goes on here on Thursday?

Speaker 1 (01:41:12):
Thursday?

Speaker 3 (01:41:13):
Yeah, Tuesday.

Speaker 2 (01:41:14):
He's a Tuesday guy.

Speaker 5 (01:41:16):
Tuesday Thursday. You're like almost done with the week.

Speaker 2 (01:41:19):
We gotta find a day from Mark. Yeah, you want
to be Wednesday?

Speaker 1 (01:41:23):
You want me Wednesday? Wednesday?

Speaker 8 (01:41:24):
Guy?

Speaker 1 (01:41:25):
Yes, I'm in anything else, doctor Steve. That wasn't a
good story. You're good.

Speaker 2 (01:41:32):
We're about to look at a lady uh like some
mass It looks like, oh, just a champagne enema and
pussy like Mark.

Speaker 1 (01:41:40):
Sure, I can't I can't complain. There's no doctor in
the background.

Speaker 19 (01:41:45):
Let me talk for thirty seconds about why it's a
bad idea for what the Champagne anima the colon.

Speaker 1 (01:41:58):
Yes, never gets a little.

Speaker 3 (01:42:01):
Never gets.

Speaker 1 (01:42:01):
All he wanted was thirty seconds. No thanks, Dave, we
love you. Break out the Champagne boss seemed put it up.
We had a lot to choose from. Why did we
pick this one? There, Paul?

Speaker 2 (01:42:18):
The first one that came up you didn't even want to, like,
maybe see if there's a.

Speaker 8 (01:42:21):
Better one was Cousins in Pennsylvania.

Speaker 3 (01:42:24):
Another one that's darks.

Speaker 26 (01:42:25):
Out, less graphic. Right, that's a keeper. Usually work up
to that. Right, he looked like a beating down clam.
Did you see that hard a Razor Claus ship. At
least the Champagne makes it kind of like high end.

Speaker 3 (01:42:46):
I thought he's gonna at least pop the cork into
her first awesome it off and as though right.

Speaker 1 (01:42:55):
Doing, I'm doing this on my wedding night.

Speaker 10 (01:42:58):
This is.

Speaker 1 (01:43:02):
Faithful. It's a guys there, look.

Speaker 8 (01:43:04):
At that fucking catchers.

Speaker 1 (01:43:06):
She's got up the water.

Speaker 8 (01:43:09):
They ain't talking anymore.

Speaker 1 (01:43:15):
Man's like, that's a great way to pop a corner ship.
That buzhole knows how to do a s take, talk
about mo wet? How does it get to that point?

(01:43:35):
I think that was pussy.

Speaker 26 (01:43:38):
Uncle, she just got a double pucker on the Oh
you're right there?

Speaker 3 (01:43:44):
You go?

Speaker 1 (01:43:44):
All right?

Speaker 21 (01:43:45):
Now?

Speaker 1 (01:43:45):
Damn this squirrel? What happened to her? This would be
a great video to show the homage person when they
come here. This is what it's like here.

Speaker 3 (01:43:55):
I hike that? But how do you almost die doing that?

Speaker 1 (01:43:58):
Plade's got a diaper on her?

Speaker 2 (01:44:00):
Know what is alright? Why are we putting it going?

Speaker 1 (01:44:05):
It's about to end.

Speaker 2 (01:44:05):
I want to see why if he have a diaper,
because now.

Speaker 1 (01:44:08):
You know he's taking care of her. Well, look at that.
She's got a champagne and bottling backwards.

Speaker 3 (01:44:15):
Whoa wow, different thing altogether.

Speaker 2 (01:44:19):
Yeah, Now this has four hundred and four thousand title
of this video.

Speaker 3 (01:44:22):
How do you follow that?

Speaker 1 (01:44:24):
You can't keep her with a champagne bottle?

Speaker 3 (01:44:26):
Oh my, oh man?

Speaker 2 (01:44:28):
I needs a writer for his video.

Speaker 1 (01:44:30):
Oh my god.

Speaker 2 (01:44:33):
But how do you how do you maybe stalk the
conversations to get to this point?

Speaker 1 (01:44:37):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (01:44:37):
Now, like, how's she gonna have a regular sex?

Speaker 1 (01:44:40):
Last? Hey?

Speaker 3 (01:44:41):
Three or four guys at once?

Speaker 10 (01:44:42):
God?

Speaker 1 (01:44:43):
Oh man? That's a dom p too.

Speaker 19 (01:44:48):
Dumb.

Speaker 3 (01:44:49):
Could you see what year is it?

Speaker 1 (01:44:50):
She?

Speaker 3 (01:44:51):
Should she have not opened it?

Speaker 1 (01:44:52):
Did she open it?

Speaker 3 (01:44:54):
Honestly?

Speaker 8 (01:44:54):
I think that's not the way to story. And I think.

Speaker 25 (01:44:58):
I think post are usually up in the ninety degrees,
so that might be skunk by the time she's not.

Speaker 2 (01:45:02):
Think you're speaking of sour grave from you.

Speaker 6 (01:45:07):
Here?

Speaker 2 (01:45:07):
Yes, okay, anyway, can we do the the other one?

Speaker 3 (01:45:10):
Now?

Speaker 1 (01:45:10):
All right? That sounding?

Speaker 3 (01:45:12):
Oh I won't look at that.

Speaker 1 (01:45:13):
I can't look.

Speaker 21 (01:45:13):
We put it on, put it on, man, we had
a deal, all right, I'll give it at this one's
called extreme dick sounding.

Speaker 2 (01:45:25):
Don't do it?

Speaker 1 (01:45:26):
Stream out of the gate and start it up on
a nice one, nice one, Jesus done up with a
gentle sounding. Oh man, this is killing me. That looks
like my dick too?

Speaker 3 (01:45:42):
Why not.

Speaker 1 (01:45:46):
Nine minutes? Why don't we fast forward to be a
decent sack of marbles? Though? Why don't we fast forward? Yeah?
Oh my god, it's got loop on it?

Speaker 7 (01:45:55):
Though?

Speaker 1 (01:45:56):
What is that he's he's doing it to himself? Came,
oh Jesus, come on, I'm leaving.

Speaker 2 (01:46:06):
You can fast forward in yet he's working.

Speaker 1 (01:46:11):
Looks like you need a.

Speaker 2 (01:46:12):
Boner I tell you, I tell you, make your canoli.

Speaker 1 (01:46:20):
Fuck. Shut it down, Paul.

Speaker 8 (01:46:21):
Shut it the fuck down.

Speaker 3 (01:46:24):
Well shut it down.

Speaker 1 (01:46:25):
You killed me, Paul. There you go, Doug Benson went
to a happy place.

Speaker 3 (01:46:34):
Have a great weekend.

Speaker 8 (01:46:36):
You guys are fucking gross.

Speaker 2 (01:46:39):
Grandma who's hungry? Grandma passed the fucking hat around.

Speaker 1 (01:46:43):
Get some of your money back.

Speaker 8 (01:46:44):
I'm gonna tell you, I'm gonna invite a list of people.
I'm taking pictures. I'm putting them on Twitter, everybody that
didn't pay.

Speaker 1 (01:46:49):
That's there.

Speaker 8 (01:46:50):
You go.

Speaker 3 (01:46:52):
You don't threaten me like that.

Speaker 1 (01:46:53):
All right, man, good to see you.

Speaker 2 (01:46:54):
Are you gonna be back Monday and time for the show. Yeah,
I'll be here all right, Monday Village Underground.

Speaker 1 (01:47:01):
Two shows, Yeah, from Miami. What's that?

Speaker 8 (01:47:05):
Anybody need anything from Miami?

Speaker 1 (01:47:06):
Bring back some blow Medium? You don't have to go there?
Nice medium?

Speaker 8 (01:47:10):
Uh why bear?

Speaker 1 (01:47:12):
Yeah? Go with like, gonna get one too, the same
size medium?

Speaker 8 (01:47:17):
Yeah, makes it's called Raymond Peet.

Speaker 2 (01:47:20):
Wait what are we getting?

Speaker 1 (01:47:21):
That's a plug? Plug it?

Speaker 8 (01:47:22):
You don't want to plug it?

Speaker 2 (01:47:23):
I don't want to.

Speaker 1 (01:47:23):
I'm busy, Okay, guya Bears medium medium, Bamy what short?
Sleep not not? What's the other. How about we break
you can put.

Speaker 3 (01:47:35):
Your order in.

Speaker 1 (01:47:36):
I don't know what. I can't wait, Thank you. I
love those. Give me like a little trinket of something.
Get them a sounding thing?

Speaker 8 (01:47:46):
Yeah, what do you want to drink it at?

Speaker 1 (01:47:48):
I don't know. If you see something laying around one.

Speaker 5 (01:47:51):
Of those nice Miami sounding sticks, bottle pigma?

Speaker 1 (01:47:59):
Yeah, I need a group after gross? Holy shit? Why
don't we do this? See? I could watch pedophilia all
day over that. I don't know how you do it?

Speaker 2 (01:48:08):
Wait, you can't handle that.

Speaker 1 (01:48:10):
That was tough. Dick hole stuff is tough. It was rough, Yeah,
but it was big. I mean that. That wasn't dick rod.
That was rough and.

Speaker 2 (01:48:20):
I listen Follow me on Instagram, OPI Radio and new
OPI Radio podcast. We finally got that up and running again.
Subscribing iTunes at Google Play. It's the OPI Radio Podcast.
Let's start with Voss.

Speaker 1 (01:48:32):
What do you got this weekend?

Speaker 5 (01:48:34):
Governor's Friday and Saturday, Levittown and next Thursday the Ice House, Pasadena,
Friday Winston's in San Diego. Come out to you know,
I'm never out lest so take advantage.

Speaker 1 (01:48:46):
Of all right, Mark Norman Hey Denver After Easter. I'm
in Denver. Then I'm in Hartford, Funnybone, Columbus, Ohio. I'm
at the Draft House and my special premieres on May
twelfth Comedy Central. My first hour special. That's awesome. I'm
up to or co go watch it on Comics. That'sal
tell a friend. I'm in Vegas. I'm in San Antonio,
Beantown and I listen to Tuesdays with Stories and Praise

(01:49:08):
a Lah.

Speaker 2 (01:49:09):
Are you happy with the special?

Speaker 1 (01:49:10):
I'm happy. I edited it myself, shut it in a synagogue.
It's a beautiful thing. I'm glad. And check out Louis
Special because I'm in the opening. Are you really? I'm
in for literally a millisecond, but I'm in all right,
like a cold open bit at the top, he does
the you know they do the police welcome Louis sig
and I'm standing behind my friend Joe Liszt, who's announcing, Okay, yeah,

(01:49:31):
very cool.

Speaker 2 (01:49:31):
Doug Bench's neat.

Speaker 4 (01:49:33):
I'm going to be doing a Getting Doug with High
live at the Coach House in San Juan Campistrano on
April twentieth, four to twenty. You can watch it on
YouTube or buy tickets to come see it in person
at the links are all links for all my shows
are at Douglas.

Speaker 1 (01:49:49):
Moovies dot com.

Speaker 2 (01:49:49):
Who do you got for the show?

Speaker 3 (01:49:51):
Can you our secret?

Speaker 1 (01:49:52):
Oh? That's true. I always try to get the names
out of You're right.

Speaker 4 (01:49:55):
So that you know people are excited when I bring
a great guests out, not disappointed when they're not great.

Speaker 1 (01:50:02):
Are you happy that you got some good ones? Pill
always that's a great location.

Speaker 3 (01:50:07):
Yeah you been there?

Speaker 1 (01:50:08):
Oh yeah, beautiful area. Oh yeah, the Capistrano.

Speaker 3 (01:50:12):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:50:13):
And uh talked to Anthony yesterday and we Paul did.
He did a great job. He did the side by
side video again. So it's on my YouTube channel Opie Radio.
And I'm sure we've tweeted out by now check it
out if you haven't already. We'll be back with Doug Benson,
Mark Norman, and Rich Voss.

Speaker 15 (01:50:27):
Stay there, Opie Radio, Obi Radio.

Speaker 1 (01:50:33):
We'll be right back Opie Radio.

Speaker 7 (01:50:41):
He's right on.

Speaker 2 (01:50:43):
I was watching Crashing Jesus. They have every fucking New
York City comicsy that game.

Speaker 1 (01:50:49):
I gotta get on that thing. Holy fuck, what do
you think of? It's all right? Yeah, it's a.

Speaker 2 (01:50:57):
Little too I mean what I mean, I gotta be
honest with you. I think already Lang's amazing.

Speaker 3 (01:51:02):
Yeah, what's going on with Artie?

Speaker 1 (01:51:03):
Like? Is he?

Speaker 3 (01:51:04):
Uh?

Speaker 1 (01:51:04):
Okay?

Speaker 8 (01:51:05):
What's what?

Speaker 1 (01:51:05):
They dropped it? They dropped the party? Is you to
the tenth power? I saw him the other night?

Speaker 3 (01:51:13):
What?

Speaker 1 (01:51:14):
I saw him the other night?

Speaker 3 (01:51:15):
But he's spend What are you trying to say? He's
trying to be clean though, isn't he what?

Speaker 1 (01:51:21):
I don't know?

Speaker 3 (01:51:22):
I hope so.

Speaker 2 (01:51:22):
I mean he said, what do you mean by you
to the tenth? I didn't understand what you're saying?

Speaker 3 (01:51:26):
Because I do marijuana. That's ten times more to the
tenth power?

Speaker 2 (01:51:31):
Right, Yeah, I mean a lot of people are very
very concerned and worried about party lying.

Speaker 1 (01:51:36):
They dropped anybody.

Speaker 2 (01:51:38):
They dropped some of the charges though. He was looking
at like what five ten years away? Five five and
now it's like almost nothing because they can't prove it
it was his.

Speaker 1 (01:51:48):
Drugs in the car, so probation or something or something
like that.

Speaker 2 (01:51:52):
But I don't know if they're doing them a favor
by dropping the serious charges. Oh boy, I might be
the wake up calling needs.

Speaker 4 (01:51:59):
I mean, there was spots from Judd Abbatow and Pete
Holmes was sort of like, we love them and we helped,
helped for the best for him, and they're happy to keep.

Speaker 3 (01:52:06):
Having him on the show.

Speaker 5 (01:52:07):
I don't think the wake up call was the seventh
Holy put in the stomach.

Speaker 3 (01:52:13):
I'm at ut. He's the nicest guy in the world.

Speaker 1 (01:52:15):
But funny guy.

Speaker 5 (01:52:17):
You know, it's you know, we all love him.

Speaker 2 (01:52:22):
I don't know what you could do for the guy.
It's somebody wants to do it for themselves, but he's
great and crashing. What do you think of the show?

Speaker 1 (01:52:31):
I think it's good. I think I'm just bummed because
you know, this is like this show is like made
for me. It's New York starting out as a comic.
I did all this ship, I barked, I worked the clubs,
A bombed for years, all that shit. So I'm like,
I couldn't wait for it. But it's too it's not
gritty enough. I wanted it to be a little harsher,
you know, like it's.

Speaker 3 (01:52:48):
Interesting how they really Pete has gone now.

Speaker 4 (01:52:51):
You know Pete nowadays is a very successful and funny
stand up Yeah, but the show, he's willing to depict
the part where you weren't funny yet, right.

Speaker 1 (01:53:00):
Which I love it. Just it's weird for me. Like
the first night he's the comic, he's sleeping at Alady
Lang's house, and he's sleeping at Sarah Silverman's house, and
he's got a warm up gig. He's like a week in, right,
so I'm kind of like, Ah, get that ship out
of here. I'm talking about like the crying after a
bomb so bad, the getting blackout drunk because you feel
so humiliated, the being super poor, you know, like can't

(01:53:21):
pay your rent, my landlord died of aids, I got
bed bugs, I got mug three times my first year.
I mean it was crazy.

Speaker 2 (01:53:27):
Yeah, And ten days in.

Speaker 1 (01:53:29):
He's doing that's true.

Speaker 2 (01:53:31):
Ten days in he's warming up the racial raid.

Speaker 15 (01:53:33):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:53:34):
Like, and I love Pete. He's hilarious and half of
town all that, but talent. Yeah, that just bummed me out.
I'm like, let's get to the gritty. We have a
chance to do it, and I don't want it to
be like a fairy tale. I wanted to be Bad
is based on Pete or a fictitious character.

Speaker 2 (01:53:47):
It's based on what you all you guys went through,
just like Mark.

Speaker 1 (01:53:50):
Said, but it's based on him because.

Speaker 2 (01:53:54):
But that's what he's saying, but there, but the other
stuff is in there where he's on the corner barking,
trying to people go to the shows, uh, sleeping on
other people's couches, having comedians not like them. They show
Pete and in the Boston Comedy Club in front of
other comics.

Speaker 4 (01:54:13):
He got married to young So his marriage is falling
apart because my wife doesn't want to, you know, support
what he does.

Speaker 3 (01:54:19):
She doesn't like his wife doesn't think he's funny.

Speaker 1 (01:54:22):
That's all real, that's all based on reality.

Speaker 3 (01:54:25):
Like that's yeah, he had a real marriage that didn't
work out. Yeah, and uh so yeah, so I'm sure
a lot of it is based in reality. But did
he really that early on in his career, like he
were saying, have connections to such amazing people so quickly?

Speaker 2 (01:54:40):
I don't hate the show, but I'm sort of with
you a little dirt.

Speaker 4 (01:54:45):
Because there's no way there were there were people that
in his very early days of comedy as famous as
already and Sarah helping him out in some way being
that nice to him, of course, but that's you know,
that's a device they have to use because it's a show.

Speaker 5 (01:54:59):
And get it one those people I don't know what
era he was at Boshington. It had to be it
couldn't have been.

Speaker 1 (01:55:05):
I think it was two thousand and two or three.
I'm trying to think of it was before us or
after us?

Speaker 3 (01:55:12):
You know me, Patrici Pete Holmes at Boshton Cock about
the same time. But you didn't know him.

Speaker 1 (01:55:20):
Exactly, okay, because that's reality. He wouldn't sleep at your place, was.

Speaker 4 (01:55:23):
He, Because like in two thousand and four was when
I met him, because we were both on Best Week
Ever and we met at the Best Week Ever party
And I pitched this to Judd and to Pete for
a future episode.

Speaker 3 (01:55:34):
Is he's He's not a good drunk.

Speaker 4 (01:55:36):
He's a very He's a very big man who's very
physic very physically obnoxious when he's drunk. Really Yeah, the
first time I ever met him, he was I went
to a VH one party where I got there late
in the evening.

Speaker 3 (01:55:50):
I think he might have even been leaving because he
was so drunk.

Speaker 4 (01:55:54):
But I met him out on the sidewalk. And we
were both on that show. But you don't, you don't
work with the other people. You don't see them until
you go to like an aves they throw or something.
So it was our first time meeting, and he like
picked me up off the ground and wouldn't put me down,
like I was like just a rag doll that he's.

Speaker 3 (01:56:12):
Just like.

Speaker 1 (01:56:16):
Comics are all really bad drunks.

Speaker 3 (01:56:18):
They tend to be.

Speaker 4 (01:56:19):
I'm really good at it, which is a which can
be a problem because because I'm I'm drunk more.

Speaker 3 (01:56:25):
Often than I should be.

Speaker 4 (01:56:26):
Just because I don't bother people when I am, I'm
not a not a pain in the ass drunk, so
no one yells at me about it.

Speaker 2 (01:56:31):
You're a drinker too.

Speaker 1 (01:56:33):
I didn't know that.

Speaker 2 (01:56:34):
I thought you were like the type of guy well
vodka t shirt on. I mean, we all understand the
pot thing, but I would assume you were a guy
that would maybe just sip a couple of beers as
you're high.

Speaker 3 (01:56:46):
No, No, I like vodka a lot, a lot.

Speaker 2 (01:56:49):
Could have got you some vodka for the big Friday
show tomorrow. Okay, there you go.

Speaker 3 (01:56:56):
My rule is I try not to drink until four
four o'clock in the after is when I can open
it up and get started.

Speaker 2 (01:57:04):
Do you break that rule a lot?

Speaker 15 (01:57:07):
Now?

Speaker 4 (01:57:07):
If I do, I'll have like a you know, maybe
a beer, you know, but vodka.

Speaker 3 (01:57:12):
I don't drink during the during drink vodka every day
almost every day.

Speaker 4 (01:57:16):
Whoa because I mean because I mean clubs and doing
shows almost every day.

Speaker 3 (01:57:20):
So you know, I'm gonna have some drinks.

Speaker 5 (01:57:22):
But what what pain are you covering with all the
alcohol and drugs?

Speaker 10 (01:57:26):
Wow?

Speaker 2 (01:57:27):
Rich vos interesting because I'm I'm just I'm not saying
it's a bad question.

Speaker 3 (01:57:32):
Yeah, I'm saying what are you trying?

Speaker 7 (01:57:34):
What?

Speaker 1 (01:57:34):
What do you put down? We should all guess. Can
we write it down? Yeah, let's write it down and
then and then we'll reveal. Then you have to answer. Honestly,
I don't have a specific thing.

Speaker 4 (01:57:43):
If anybody touches on something that feels real, I did it.

Speaker 1 (01:57:47):
But oh so it was a touching. I was going
kid touch I was going touching too. That's why you
love movies to escape. Well, it's not kid touching.

Speaker 8 (01:57:58):
Give us, it's fun.

Speaker 2 (01:57:59):
Give us, uh, give us a I don't know an
overall thing. Maybe I really.

Speaker 3 (01:58:06):
I just like it.

Speaker 1 (01:58:07):
Come on, come on.

Speaker 3 (01:58:10):
For for both comedy and for meeting ladies.

Speaker 7 (01:58:13):
Ah.

Speaker 3 (01:58:15):
Some studies said that like you're.

Speaker 4 (01:58:18):
You know, you're you're a little you're a little sharper
a little wittier after like one drink of vodka, and
then it starts can start to go down from there.
But that the initial thing. The reason alcohol and mating
rituals are all, you know, bars, it's all so connected,
is because everyone relaxes a little bit and it's just uh,

(01:58:38):
not overthinking things as much.

Speaker 3 (01:58:40):
When you let your guard down, when you have a
little alcohol in you.

Speaker 2 (01:58:42):
Yeah, and fast forward, you're taking champagne bottles up your ass.

Speaker 4 (01:58:46):
But now I just like the taste of it, and
I'm pretty good at not I'm rarely hungover.

Speaker 5 (01:58:51):
Wait to take a vodka there's no I mean, there's
no good taste in the fucking.

Speaker 2 (01:58:56):
Wait, and you're rarely hungover.

Speaker 1 (01:58:58):
I don't understand what I how do you.

Speaker 3 (01:59:00):
Give that bad?

Speaker 1 (01:59:01):
It's real bad. I don't.

Speaker 3 (01:59:02):
I don't like it at all.

Speaker 4 (01:59:03):
So that those occasions I think about quitting and every
year I take an entire month and don't drink for
an entire month. To just pick a different month each
year tough based on my calendar, Like if I'm going
to a few places where I can talk, Oh, I
hate it. I mean, I I don't enjoy that month
in terms of like I can't wait for the months
to be over, but I always get through it.

Speaker 3 (01:59:24):
I never you mind, Yeah, I still smoke weed.

Speaker 2 (01:59:27):
Do you go on stage drunk? I know you go
on stage high?

Speaker 4 (01:59:32):
You know that's uh, that could be some people could
have that opinion that I'm drunk sometimes on stage, But
a lot of times it's I'm doing my podcast, which
is you know, uh, you know, it's kind of a
machine that kind of rolls forward regardless of I could
be pretty fucked.

Speaker 1 (01:59:46):
Up and still do it right.

Speaker 4 (01:59:48):
You know, I wouldn't want to show up drunk for
like a scene, you know, for any kind of acting
thing or anything like.

Speaker 2 (01:59:54):
Crazy childhood like the rest of us.

Speaker 5 (01:59:56):
Oh wait, what movie I just see?

Speaker 2 (02:00:00):
I'm going with you.

Speaker 1 (02:00:01):
You started this and now I'm finishing. It was a
quick movie that I just saw.

Speaker 3 (02:00:06):
The used a lot of comics in it.

Speaker 2 (02:00:08):
What does that enough to do with anything?

Speaker 5 (02:00:09):
He just said he wouldn't show up for. I'm trying
to think of what move I just show that he
was in. But anyhow, like, I wouldn't show up for
this drunk.

Speaker 1 (02:00:16):
What this is perfect? This is easy.

Speaker 3 (02:00:18):
No, I get drunk during it. If we want to do.

Speaker 2 (02:00:20):
That tomorrow no, but did you have a weird childhood
like the rest of us. You're in a room full
of guys that definitely had strange childhood.

Speaker 3 (02:00:28):
Well, the reason I was during the break, I was
telling Rich where this Winston's Club was because I was
curious because I grew up in San Diego and I'd
never heard of Winston's.

Speaker 4 (02:00:36):
But it sounds like a great spot on the on
the beach at Ocean Beach. You should really try to
go see Rich on Friday, April fourteenth.

Speaker 1 (02:00:44):
Thank you. San Diego is the pedophile capital of.

Speaker 2 (02:00:47):
America, and any reflecting Mark Norman big deflect, big deflect.

Speaker 1 (02:00:52):
Pushing back into comics come out. But we doesn't want
to talk about how fucked up was Marking? We have
him on the ropes.

Speaker 4 (02:01:01):
Oh no, I had a nice I grew up in
San Diego. It's yeah, it's beautiful, the weather was nice.

Speaker 2 (02:01:06):
Would you honestly say you had a pretty middle class never?

Speaker 4 (02:01:09):
You know, like when I was a teenager, I started
to get like, you know, jobs and stuff.

Speaker 3 (02:01:13):
You know, I was never I was never like.

Speaker 4 (02:01:15):
It wasn't like a silver spoon in my mouth. But
we always were comfortable.

Speaker 2 (02:01:19):
So you would say it was a basic normal, possibly
boring childhood.

Speaker 3 (02:01:23):
One older brother.

Speaker 1 (02:01:25):
Yeah, were you a nerd? Yeah?

Speaker 4 (02:01:26):
I was a nerd and he was a jock. So
we didn't get along great, so that there could be that,
you know, all right, but I was just more of
a nerd in the sense that I, like, you know,
memorize a lot of dialogue and movies and stuff like that.
Like when was the last time I wasn't like a
complete right? I fit in with my group of friends
and stuff.

Speaker 2 (02:01:44):
So did you look toward pot to just be more social?
Were you one of those guys that spent a lot
of time in your room?

Speaker 3 (02:01:49):
I didn't start smoking potto I was twenty eight? Really, yeah?

Speaker 1 (02:01:55):
Did you?

Speaker 3 (02:01:55):
You were kind?

Speaker 4 (02:01:56):
They say that it's dangerous to smoke at any time
before you're twenty four because your brain is fully formed
into your twenty four Yeah, so I feel like I
dodged a bullet there, And now if people ask me,
I'm like, well, smoke younger than that if you want to,
But as.

Speaker 1 (02:02:08):
Far as that, you should wait.

Speaker 2 (02:02:10):
So most people, not most, but a lot of people
around twenty eight, around thirty is you start looking at
yourself and going I got to slow down my party
and that's not when you're starting to do new starting.

Speaker 3 (02:02:20):
To do the road all the time.

Speaker 4 (02:02:22):
And all the comedians I worked with, because I mostly
did when I first started going on the road is
mostly like in California, well, like San Francisco is a
big influence on me. Like I'd play there a lot.
You started out and I'd smoke weed with all the comics,
Like for years, I was just somebody too smoked weed
when it was around.

Speaker 3 (02:02:38):
I didn't have my own weed.

Speaker 2 (02:02:40):
Let me ask you this, the first time he got
high at twenty eight, who was it? And did just
change your world? And you knew I got to do
this a lot.

Speaker 4 (02:02:48):
It was the punchline in Walnut Creek, California, outside of
one of the suburbs outside of San Francisco in the
Bay Area. Yeah, and I was there with the opener
was Greg Proops and I was a feature I mean
headliner was Greg Proops.

Speaker 3 (02:03:00):
I was a feature actor and Brian Posain was.

Speaker 1 (02:03:02):
The wow A strong show.

Speaker 4 (02:03:06):
Well, it'd be a lot better now than it was
then because Brian and I were a middle in an opener.

Speaker 3 (02:03:12):
But uh, but we all uh you know, smoked weed
in the green room.

Speaker 2 (02:03:15):
Whose idea was it there?

Speaker 3 (02:03:17):
I mean they were just both potheads at time.

Speaker 2 (02:03:19):
Were you a little nervous, like, oh, here I go
doing this for the first time.

Speaker 4 (02:03:22):
No, because you know there are chill guys that weren't
like trying to force me to do anything.

Speaker 1 (02:03:26):
You know, Man, I can't get high and go on stage.
It blows my mind. I can't do it. I go inward,
I start hating myself and all the bad evil demons
come out, well a lot.

Speaker 3 (02:03:36):
It could be his weight and smoke, you know, after
they're set, or drink after the satell You know, everybody
has their own set of rules.

Speaker 4 (02:03:42):
But I just, you know, I've just grown this reputation
for being potheads, So why why not be high?

Speaker 1 (02:03:48):
Well, you're running with it. Man, you're killed. You got
the movie podcast, you got to show you're high in
a fucking bathrobe. You killed it.

Speaker 2 (02:03:56):
High court.

Speaker 1 (02:03:57):
Yeah, you found a way to, you know, make a
business out of your horrible, horrible you.

Speaker 3 (02:04:02):
In the courtroom, judge, did you just come from your bathroom?

Speaker 2 (02:04:05):
Or one last question, I'll move off here. So you
smoke for the first time at twenty eight, when does
it become let's just call it a habit, like did
you immediately or did it take a little longer than.

Speaker 4 (02:04:19):
That, Because that's what I said is I would only
be a mooch. I could only smoke when it went around.
But then it gets to a point where you're like
always going where's the weed at? And then you feel
like a dick for being the guy who just always
wants to smoke other people's weed. Right, So then you know,
I started getting my own. But then pretty soon after that,
I also people just started giving it to me because
I talked about it.

Speaker 5 (02:04:38):
It's just funny. That's when I got oh sorry, I
got sober at twenty eight. That's when I got going interest.
But I was already fucking smoking crack for three years.

Speaker 1 (02:04:45):
Wow.

Speaker 5 (02:04:46):
I mean I started getting high when I was fucking
fifteen or sixteen.

Speaker 1 (02:04:49):
It definitely fucked up your brain.

Speaker 2 (02:04:51):
I can't imagine.

Speaker 3 (02:04:52):
That, That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (02:04:54):
I couldn't even come home drunk. I mean, all hell
would break loose. So I went crazy when I went
to college.

Speaker 1 (02:05:00):
M See, Rich, you should have stuck with the crack.
He could be the crack comic. I was the crash show,
crack podcast back out getting cracked up.

Speaker 3 (02:05:10):
Put Rich, Yeah, you can have a morning show.

Speaker 1 (02:05:14):
Crack of dawn, rre you go there is cracker Jack.

Speaker 2 (02:05:19):
And you were saying, Mark, speaking of not being able
to go on stage high, you were saying during the
break that you had an anxiety attack recently, and yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:05:27):
Oh man, it was bad. I've had anxiety attacks my
whole life, but not on stage. That was my first
real stage one light. Yeah, they're the worst, right, Why.

Speaker 5 (02:05:37):
Are you happy that he's somebody deal with experiences and
knows that fucking uh.

Speaker 1 (02:05:44):
Go ahead, I'll just I won't get into it, but
I have horrible anxiety, horrible like crippling anxiety, and like
I've had it before. Out here in the hallway, I'm like,
all right, go and do it. Like in the beginning
years of doing the show, and you start listen to
the show when I was younger and blah blah blah,
and I would come down the hallway and go, all right,
you fucking piece of shit, get it together, don't break
down in there, don't do it, don't wig out, and

(02:06:05):
don't you know, go let the demons run wild, because
my brain just attacked me. Because you suck. You're gonna bomb,
You're gonna bob. You suck, you suck, and I have
to like tamp it down and then just go all
my day. And I've had moans in the elevator. I
leave here and I go, all right, you got through it.
You're fucking homo, all right, good for you. Yeah, knows you.

Speaker 3 (02:06:23):
That shouldn't be mean about your own sexual orientation.

Speaker 1 (02:06:26):
It brings a homophobe my brain. Let me tell you,
have you let me tell you the other side of that.

Speaker 3 (02:06:31):
Uh huh.

Speaker 2 (02:06:32):
You always came in here with confidence. No one would
have ever known it was all fabrica, but you were
able to fake it, is what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (02:06:38):
Yeah, I've been doing my whole life. Okay, ten thousand hours.
I'm a pro. Right now.

Speaker 5 (02:06:43):
Has your anxiety ever turned into panic attacks?

Speaker 1 (02:06:46):
Like?

Speaker 3 (02:06:46):
Have you ever like that? Panic?

Speaker 1 (02:06:48):
Like I can't breathe and.

Speaker 5 (02:06:49):
Ship You're just like, oh, this is it, this is
the last you.

Speaker 1 (02:06:51):
Know, just like I'm gonna die.

Speaker 5 (02:06:53):
I die, just fucking lose it completely.

Speaker 1 (02:06:55):
I don't think I've ever had that. No, that's that's bad.

Speaker 3 (02:06:57):
I've only I've only had them watched up.

Speaker 5 (02:06:59):
I've had panic anxiety since I was twenty really anxiety,
you gotta.

Speaker 1 (02:07:03):
I mean, I had anxiety my whole even as a.

Speaker 5 (02:07:05):
Kid twenty years old when I was put in the hospital.
Back then, they didn't know what anxiety was.

Speaker 1 (02:07:10):
Yeah, they thought I was not.

Speaker 5 (02:07:11):
So they're giving me like thortying and how do all
these are fucking for? You know, I'm doing it just
a shuffle all.

Speaker 1 (02:07:17):
Day like yeah, you know, uh.

Speaker 5 (02:07:19):
And then you know, I lived with it, but then
came back when I was forty when my kids went
off to school, because then you know, I had my
kids every day. Yeah, and then they were off in
school and I'm bouncing off a wall single.

Speaker 1 (02:07:31):
My wife and I devorce, you know, and it came
back bad.

Speaker 5 (02:07:34):
And if I didn't have this therapist, I probably would
have been in the fucking like a nuthhouse or something.

Speaker 7 (02:07:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (02:07:39):
I mean this one save saved me.

Speaker 1 (02:07:41):
Same have the same guy.

Speaker 3 (02:07:42):
No, No, this was a guy in Jersey. Where do
they put crazy people with?

Speaker 1 (02:07:47):
Uh?

Speaker 3 (02:07:47):
Non allergy?

Speaker 1 (02:07:49):
When came.

Speaker 3 (02:07:53):
So, but I like, it's very so like people our age.

Speaker 5 (02:07:59):
Yeah, not you know, it seemed like they have not
your because you're younger, but either anxiety depression, something you
had delivered it put something in the water in the
seventies or something drug companies did something because older people
always paranoid.

Speaker 1 (02:08:15):
Huh. I'm just saying.

Speaker 3 (02:08:16):
I'm just saying I want my Ciga rats.

Speaker 1 (02:08:19):
Yes, but if you don't know what anxiety is, you
can't really have it. I guess you know, yeah, but.

Speaker 2 (02:08:26):
I wasn't done with Mark. I want to know what
happened on stage where you had this anxiety attack and
how did you get through it.

Speaker 1 (02:08:31):
Basically, it was the trigger. I'll give you the gist
because it's a long story. But me and my friend
Joe List we had a live podcast and we're trying
to pitch it as a TV show. So Comedy Central
was there, Netflix was there, IFC was there, all these Hulu,
all these people are there, and we're in suits. It's
a sold out show. Our podcast is doing pretty well,
sold out show, and we have to just go on
stage for two hours and just riff, you know, like

(02:08:53):
we've done before. But we're the host now and we
have guests. Bobby Kelly was on it and Amy Schumer
showed up, so it was a fun it's a fun time.
But uh, I just went inward. I just choked and
Joe kind of carried it, thank god, and I was
I couldn't think anything to say. And I'm a I'm
a jokey guy. I like to throw yuck him up
every now and then, but I couldn't. I was at

(02:09:16):
a wall up and I started just going in We're like,
you're fucking blowing it. And I look up and I
saw the Comedy Central. I'm not gonna say her name,
but she's the head of talent. I saw her yawning,
and I just went into like a dark evil placed
and I was, you know, everything was coming back. And
then I kind of like just would try to say
a line and the line would bomb, and then that
would be bad, and I'd say another one that would bomb.

(02:09:36):
Oh my god, it was like two hours. It was
like being in a fistfight that I was losing for
two hours with my own brain. And I got through
it and just went home and like laid on the floor,
was like, oh my god, I'm in a suit like
that was my big shot and I fucking blew it,
and uh, you know it's all over for me. Blah
blah blah, And yeah it was bad.

Speaker 2 (02:09:57):
You think it was that bad in the end, probably.

Speaker 3 (02:10:01):
Come from it.

Speaker 1 (02:10:01):
That was two days ago, so I don't know what
do you mean.

Speaker 3 (02:10:09):
I guess, I guess.

Speaker 8 (02:10:10):
I guess I.

Speaker 1 (02:10:13):
Talked about in therapy, and I feel a lot better.
Like I remember when Rolling's like, hey, you're doing Opie.
I had to be like, okay, get it together before Opie.
You know that's on, that's live whatever. So yeah, I
my therapist got me through it. Thank you. The Underground
I fat black, Yeah, and boy, it was just my
adrenal glans were pumping so hard. You know, it's like
fight or flight syndrome, and so you just I went

(02:10:35):
home and just crashed.

Speaker 5 (02:10:36):
But if you're having guests, Sean all you got jewish,
I'm quite I mean.

Speaker 1 (02:10:40):
I know, but you try to be funny.

Speaker 2 (02:10:41):
That's not it's not as easy as people think. Yeah,
and holy fuck illustrates the hell out of me, audience.
When you're in front of a live audience and you
bring amazing funny people, you still got to make it
fucking work. It's the most stressful goddamn world.

Speaker 3 (02:10:56):
Yeah, but I'm saying, the whole Weightedi on his shoulders.

Speaker 2 (02:11:00):
You're looking at him and Joe List seeing what the
chemistry is. Yeah, you know exactly how the whole thing's
working out.

Speaker 1 (02:11:06):
When you know what he goes quiet in the room.
You got to say stuff. You're the host.

Speaker 2 (02:11:11):
There's a dead spot. Everyone looks at you like, right,
what's the next stupid?

Speaker 1 (02:11:14):
Yeah, exactly, and then you already hate yourself. Then when
those eyes go on you, you're like, now I really
got nothing. Now the pressure is really on a boy.
It was a it was a whirlwind, a shame spiral.
I was just going down.

Speaker 3 (02:11:24):
That bad podcast two hours.

Speaker 1 (02:11:26):
Well it's supposed to be an hour and a half,
but we we just Dealley dally and it was very.

Speaker 3 (02:11:30):
Unprepared half hour of silence.

Speaker 1 (02:11:32):
Yeah, exactly right.

Speaker 3 (02:11:33):
But uh but so how do you think the overall
the overall reaction to it was that, Like, do you
think everyone in the audience was like that one guy
sucked but Joe list was great? Or do you think
Joe elevated it all so it just seems sort of fine.

Speaker 1 (02:11:48):
Do you think I think he saved it completely?

Speaker 3 (02:11:50):
Do you think they'll give Joe and Bobby a show?

Speaker 1 (02:11:52):
Yeah they might, they might. Yeah, maybe I'll be a
boom guy or something.

Speaker 2 (02:11:55):
That's too bad because you're I mean, you're great in
front of live audiences and these situations. You're quick as fuck.
When we do those moon Tower shows, you pretty much
saved me.

Speaker 1 (02:12:04):
I was on fire, But again I wasn't hosting. You
were hosting, So the stress of my ass off, I know.
But the way it was then with comics, I don't
really know. It's not not fucking fun, it's fucking hard.
And then as the host too, and the host and
being funny also it was it was a.

Speaker 2 (02:12:19):
Lot because you got to get your lines in, plus
make sure everything is running properly.

Speaker 1 (02:12:23):
Right right, and then you know Shoomer's that you want
to do well in the comedy SUPs. Also too, you
could be.

Speaker 5 (02:12:29):
On stage doing exactly what he's doing and have just
regular audience and you're killing Once one person that walks.

Speaker 3 (02:12:36):
In that could help your career.

Speaker 5 (02:12:37):
Oh yeah, fucking like something happens to an entered at
least to me, and obviously it happened to you if
somebody walks in, I know, like, if I'm on stage
and Louis even walks there, Oh fuck, what am I
gonna do to make him like me?

Speaker 1 (02:12:52):
Not the fuck?

Speaker 3 (02:12:52):
You know what I mean? And and so.

Speaker 5 (02:12:54):
You there's a million things going through your fucking head when,
especially when industry is there.

Speaker 1 (02:12:59):
Yeah, Yeah.

Speaker 4 (02:13:00):
It starts with like you starting to bomb and you
know there's important people.

Speaker 1 (02:13:04):
Yeah, I mean yes, I mean keep getting It's like
a boner when you're like, I can't get a boner.
The more you think about it, you're not gonna get
the boner.

Speaker 3 (02:13:10):
Yeah, that's what's difficult. But like, but it's.

Speaker 4 (02:13:15):
I'm just glad I've never you know, had that sort
of issue where I'm feeling that such tremendous anxiety just
because those people are there, right, you know, if it's
going badly, then yeah, then it's like, oh crap, this
is going badly and these people are here. But usually,
you know with comedy in an audience, like as soon
as it's going okay or great, then you're like excited
that you're doing so well in the situation where you

(02:13:38):
needed to.

Speaker 1 (02:13:38):
Right. Oh, that's a great feeling. What a relief. Every left,
every level is a relief. That relief goes away immediately
and you're back in the seat again. Right. But my
I've done We've done like ten live ones and they've
all been killers. So we're like we got we got
this man. We're gonna blow up in front of the
fuck and we're gonna kill it in front of the
comedy stuff. They're gonna love it. But it's always been
like magical special shows. And then we just couldn't pull
it off, or I couldn't. But uh, present some good

(02:14:00):
advice because my thing is when I feel these anxiety
coming up, I try to tamp it down and push
it down. He's like, no, you got to accept it,
own the anxiety and go yes, you're in front of
one hundred people.

Speaker 3 (02:14:11):
Of course you just say out loud, Joe, I'm shreaking out.

Speaker 1 (02:14:14):
I should have said that this is crazy. That's exactly right.
Careers are on the line.

Speaker 3 (02:14:17):
Then, yeah, like, hey, it's not that.

Speaker 1 (02:14:19):
Bad, right, and it might have gotten to laugh. You know,
it would have been waiting. You got to just say it.
You got to say it and talk about it, and
everything would have been waited.

Speaker 5 (02:14:26):
What didn't snow was an industry thing too.

Speaker 1 (02:14:28):
Oh yeah, they knew everything. Oh yeah, yeah. Oh man.
I just thinking about it freaks me out. But I
feel better and I learned a lot and I got
through it. And you bought a couch, so and I
bought a couch. God damn it.

Speaker 4 (02:14:40):
Now you don't have to sit by the phone waiting
for them to call, but he's got a couch where
he could sit and wait for the phone call.

Speaker 2 (02:14:48):
Now, yeah, that's you don't understand what this is all about.
We learned that uh Mark doesn't really treat himself to things,
including smoothies. He has a mattress on the floor in
a really nice apartment with no furniture. And then he
tells me today he finally bought a couch.

Speaker 3 (02:15:00):
This is a huge step for I have a bed,
but I don't have a couch.

Speaker 2 (02:15:03):
You don't have a couch either, I just have I have.

Speaker 3 (02:15:06):
A you know, like a coffee table and then a
chair like this but lower to the ground. And I
keep telling myself I'm going to buy a couch, but
then I'm like, well, it's just I like sitting in
a chair.

Speaker 4 (02:15:19):
In front of the TV. Because if I'm on a couch,
I'll just go to sleep. Anything can put me to sleep.
What if people are coming over, that's not going to happen.
You don't have people at your house.

Speaker 1 (02:15:29):
Never have people.

Speaker 4 (02:15:33):
I'm pretty good about the exact opposite of hoarding happened
a little over a year ago. I decided I had
too much stuff, and I went on Twitter and said,
you know, hit me up, hit me back if you
want to come over to my house.

Speaker 3 (02:15:50):
And take some of my stuff.

Speaker 10 (02:15:51):
What.

Speaker 4 (02:15:52):
And over the course of a day, about a dozen
different people came to my apartment and they walked in
and except for a couple of things, I said, take
anything you want, and they just took stuff.

Speaker 3 (02:16:02):
And it was like you let people come from.

Speaker 1 (02:16:05):
Twitter take your an virginity.

Speaker 3 (02:16:08):
It was crazy. Everyone's really now I got anxiety. Yeah,
I said. When they're picking up the things, They're like,
are you sure you want me to have this?

Speaker 1 (02:16:15):
And I'm like, yeah, take it.

Speaker 2 (02:16:18):
Did you have like, I don't know, tape on the
stuff that you were willing to give away?

Speaker 1 (02:16:23):
That's funny.

Speaker 4 (02:16:24):
No, I just I just was like, if someone was
excited about something, I felt like you should have it
instead of me.

Speaker 2 (02:16:30):
Al was the one thing where you're like, all right,
take it, but you really didn't want them to take it.

Speaker 3 (02:16:34):
The couch, Yeah, there wasn't.

Speaker 4 (02:16:37):
There wasn't much that I felt that way about, which
is which is why it was a good thing for
me to do, because I just had a lot of
stuff that built up over the years.

Speaker 2 (02:16:45):
It's just you know, I mean, I'm a minimalist when
it comes to it drives me nuts having you know,
a wife and kids, where the clutter is getting more
and warm. Man, because with my uh work with radio,
you had to be ready to throw all your ship
in a Honda hatchback my case and whatever didn't fit
you left on the sidewalk at the shitty you know
rental you had so like to this day, I I

(02:17:09):
the less stuff of my house to happier.

Speaker 4 (02:17:10):
My most valuable possessions are my computer and my phone,
and I have them with me wherever, wherever I go.

Speaker 2 (02:17:16):
That's pretty much all you need.

Speaker 1 (02:17:17):
All the pictures you want, it's all there on there
with you.

Speaker 3 (02:17:21):
You don't need all that ship.

Speaker 5 (02:17:22):
Bonnie walked in last night and goes, look at this
shipthole we live in. Because I collect, I can't throw things.
I'm I'm like a fucking horner.

Speaker 1 (02:17:30):
He's four line horder for really really, for real.

Speaker 5 (02:17:32):
Like I just like old furniture. I like old paintings
or old Victorian ship.

Speaker 2 (02:17:37):
And what Yeah, terrible, Oh my god, I haven't been
three a place in a while, but it's terrible.

Speaker 1 (02:17:42):
Goney.

Speaker 2 (02:17:43):
Just imagine walking into your grandma's house.

Speaker 5 (02:17:46):
That's the type of stuff like what I like furniture,
I like not ship.

Speaker 3 (02:17:50):
I can't old antiques understand.

Speaker 2 (02:17:52):
It's just terrible.

Speaker 1 (02:17:53):
It's not terrible.

Speaker 3 (02:17:54):
If that's what you like, it's terrible.

Speaker 1 (02:17:57):
That's what pedophile say. Okay, I mean I haven't you know, Wow,
you're a hoarder. Huh, not real.

Speaker 5 (02:18:06):
I just don't like it's hard to throw things out
because I buy the best of everything.

Speaker 10 (02:18:10):
So smart, you know.

Speaker 5 (02:18:12):
I remember when I was putting you know, like fucking
Hugo boss shirts in in fucking.

Speaker 1 (02:18:17):
Oh yeah and whatever. That's the best of everything. You go,
boss back then.

Speaker 5 (02:18:23):
To see the movie you go, huh I think I did?

Speaker 1 (02:18:28):
I think I did.

Speaker 3 (02:18:30):
It's called Hugo. What's it about. I was just gonna
get in front of how you say?

Speaker 1 (02:18:33):
You go?

Speaker 3 (02:18:34):
Boss?

Speaker 1 (02:18:34):
Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 3 (02:18:35):
Okay, listen, you're going I've got a kid in the
train station.

Speaker 1 (02:18:38):
Don't care. Listen.

Speaker 5 (02:18:42):
I just can't wait till I'm in the meeting and
I hear somebody going, ye know, well, my.

Speaker 3 (02:18:45):
Bottom was I went on Twitter.

Speaker 1 (02:18:49):
That's like, that's for real, that's crazy, very dangerous.

Speaker 4 (02:18:52):
It's now a whole bunch of people know where you
live and well now because I was about to move.

Speaker 1 (02:18:56):
Oh smart, Okay, that makes sense. Did any girls come by,
because I think there are.

Speaker 4 (02:19:01):
Some girls I wouldn't try to get with them or anything.
But but you know, it's just like I just had
piles and piles of like memorabilia kind of things that
just are not gonna matter be worth anything.

Speaker 1 (02:19:12):
What about the you know, the people who won't leave
I've taken pictures fans and they won't leave me alone.

Speaker 3 (02:19:18):
Yeah, they were. Everybody was really quite good about it.

Speaker 4 (02:19:21):
I found like some people would like look around through
like I had lots of books that I was like,
take any of these books and and CDs and DVDs
and a lot of them. Uh, they'd spend a long
time looking through everything, like really trying to find the
best stuff. Yeah, like just take it all.

Speaker 3 (02:19:40):
But but they were. Everyone was pretty good and like
it kind of felt like I kind of arranged it.

Speaker 4 (02:19:45):
In appointments, you know, throughout the day, and I just
spent a day and I think at the end of
the day, like about three quarters of my stuff was gone.

Speaker 2 (02:19:53):
And you've got a very nice fan base.

Speaker 3 (02:19:55):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (02:19:55):
Yeah, we did Douglas with a lot of them people,
a nice a lot of them are.

Speaker 3 (02:20:01):
Like, hey, can we can we you know, since we're
here and we're meeting you, can we smoke weed with you?
And I'm like, yeah, step into the kitchen.

Speaker 1 (02:20:07):
Pictures.

Speaker 7 (02:20:09):
Uh yeah.

Speaker 3 (02:20:09):
We took some pictures too where they hold up the
items that that I took.

Speaker 5 (02:20:14):
I got old newspapers like man walks on Moony Chassinaty the.

Speaker 3 (02:20:20):
Only one I have.

Speaker 1 (02:20:21):
Please tell me because it's gonna be worth something. When
he started comedy, it's cool. That was last night. How
do you preserve?

Speaker 23 (02:20:30):
Though?

Speaker 4 (02:20:30):
Like the newspapers they get all yellow and I got
them wrapped up in in plastic and and I hide them.

Speaker 2 (02:20:37):
In once You're like, get them framed nice.

Speaker 5 (02:20:39):
It's too many of them. I'm gonna throw them out eventually,
probably take them I'm keeping.

Speaker 4 (02:20:45):
I've got yeah, I've got one old newspaper thing that
I kept that I want to keep forever.

Speaker 3 (02:20:52):
The weekend Lady Die Died.

Speaker 4 (02:20:58):
In the La Times, there was an ad for some
event at a mall in a in a in a
store where they were going to give away a Lady
Die style dress, like something the kind of dress she
would wear, and the advertisement for it said address to
die for whoa same weekend she died. So it's like,

(02:21:21):
I'll hang on to this because that's just too weird.

Speaker 1 (02:21:24):
That's all right, I love the bit.

Speaker 8 (02:21:27):
Yeah right, I think I got.

Speaker 2 (02:21:29):
I got front pages of the fucking day our radio
careers blew up.

Speaker 1 (02:21:33):
I got those here you go, front pages of posts
and the dylling News same day. Well, you mean when
you guys got sucked over uh sex for Sam? Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I was there. No, I know you were part of
the event blew up. I thought it was when you
got big, got big, you're.

Speaker 2 (02:21:47):
Getting big, losing everything. No, that's when we got fired. Yeah,
we blew up our careers, meaning it's over.

Speaker 5 (02:21:55):
Yeah, sixteen the day you Chris, I mean to this
day before that, Obi was talking about a big tour
we're gonna do. I went and bought a fucking Mercedes.
The next fucking day, they get fucking fun.

Speaker 1 (02:22:11):
Really, where to God?

Speaker 5 (02:22:12):
I'm back with tour and everything it was, and I'm
fucking I got this fucking Mercedes and this motherfucker goes
and gets fired.

Speaker 2 (02:22:19):
And then two years later, thank you, he rock you
bought one onto eBay.

Speaker 1 (02:22:22):
No, I didn't it.

Speaker 2 (02:22:23):
When we got back to radio. No, I was gonna
buy it, and then we come back to radio. We're
talking to less than ten thousand people a week. Was
it that I was nobody when you got the early
days of satellite to begin with, and then they had
a special charge because they were scared of our our
material and our fan base. We were talking to nobody.

Speaker 3 (02:22:41):
If people paid extra, they could hear you, like an.

Speaker 2 (02:22:43):
Extra two bucks. And I remember me and Anthony would
be driving and we would try to count the antennas
of people that had satellite radio, and then we'd stop
counting and we would pretty much start crying.

Speaker 1 (02:22:53):
Yeah, there's not actually crying, but we would be depressed.

Speaker 2 (02:22:56):
We're like, oh, there's one, all right, and then another
one hundred cars go buy, Oh there's one. Because back
then it was obvious who had the satellite radio. It
was those big thick antennas on the back.

Speaker 1 (02:23:06):
Or fat I don't don't know what, I don't get it.
It was a leap. Oh wow, you're gonna make fun
of them back now, those fat people almost paid for
your Mercedes, that's right. Almost.

Speaker 2 (02:23:24):
So what kind of couch did you get and how
did you get to this place where you bought a couch?

Speaker 3 (02:23:28):
Well?

Speaker 1 (02:23:29):
I just said I sucked it up. It was not easy.
I just grabbed my sack and I pushed send or
place order whatever. I got a brown leather mid century
Modern couch. I love mid Century Modern, and it was
too big for my doorway, so I had to call
the couch doctor and they come and cut it up
and they bring it in. They actually cut up your
new couch together. Inside they put it back. It's like

(02:23:51):
a ship and a bottle. They put it back together.
Inside it was a let. They took the whole leather
off like a hide sowd it in half like, took
the structure off or whatever, and then brought it in
and put it back together. It was amazing.

Speaker 2 (02:24:01):
This is an actual business to couch doctor.

Speaker 1 (02:24:04):
Couch doctor, sofa doctor.

Speaker 3 (02:24:06):
I don't know how anybody has furniture in it.

Speaker 1 (02:24:08):
Right, man, exactly. And it was great. Gotta put it
together before my eyes.

Speaker 5 (02:24:12):
Now, if you're gonna have push something in your dick
and use the couch doctor as your doctor for that one.

Speaker 1 (02:24:17):
Well i'd be more of a love seat. My dick's
not that big. But yeah, yeah, uh yeah, I guess
you could do that. Sure, all right, this guy's pissed
at us. He's like, you guys are not hoarding. I'm
an expert. Let's go to Julie.

Speaker 27 (02:24:31):
Julie, go ahead, hey, Opie, and props to the amazing,
brilliant comedic minds that's in the studio with you today.

Speaker 2 (02:24:40):
Nice that would be Doug Benson, Mark Norman and Rich Voss.

Speaker 27 (02:24:44):
They're all funny as fuck. But I'm glad Doug got
rid of shit. And it's a big problem trying to
get rid of things nowadays because the younger generation they
don't want our round furniture. They don't want big heavy
and omoirs and sideboards and ship like that. But you know,
one of the things about hoarding that we all kind

(02:25:06):
of have to remember is it's become this great sort
of a catchphrase and everybody's a hoarder, even if they're
hoarding cars, like Jerry Seinfeld or you know, Jay Leno.
But matter of fact is, you know, it's it's now
actually defined as a mental disorder, which is really exciting
for people who really do suffer from this because they
might be able to get some help, you know, mental

(02:25:27):
health services. But Rich is experiencing hoarding tendencies and hoarding behavior.

Speaker 2 (02:25:35):
That's what he's.

Speaker 3 (02:25:35):
Actually things bring him joys. That's why it's okay for
him to keep them, and.

Speaker 1 (02:25:42):
It's mostly just unsold albums.

Speaker 27 (02:25:47):
That's funny.

Speaker 2 (02:25:49):
People how to turn it on always in the wrong place.

Speaker 27 (02:25:56):
You know, when it when it's a problem is when
people are suffering, when people can't get out of the
house and they're burning up in their house, or if
Sh'S collapsing on top of them, when family members are suffering,
when animals are suffering. That's probably one of the worst
types of hoarding that there is. So I'm a professional organizer.
I do work with people who have hoarding behavior and

(02:26:17):
hoarding tendencies, and you know, it's it's the level of
suffering that kind of dictates is this a problem for
someone or not? Can they get in and out of
the house.

Speaker 2 (02:26:26):
Well, Julie, I got to ask you. I don't know
if you're gonna answer this question, but could you tell
us the the worst one you had?

Speaker 1 (02:26:33):
Sure?

Speaker 27 (02:26:35):
Very very difficult, but very unique. You know, there's different
types of of hordes. There's some that are involving squalors,
so that means a combination of garbage and or animal
and or human feces. There's clean hordes.

Speaker 3 (02:26:51):
There are Mongolian hordes. You don't want.

Speaker 1 (02:26:56):
I thought you was a doctor.

Speaker 3 (02:26:57):
But if you worked for like closet.

Speaker 1 (02:26:58):
King or something, I think your pardon?

Speaker 19 (02:27:02):
How dare you.

Speaker 1 (02:27:04):
Rich? Bought organize this?

Speaker 2 (02:27:09):
Give us your your your worst one though that you.

Speaker 27 (02:27:12):
Saw it was it was unique because it was an
Orthodox Jewish family, so food could not leave certain areas.

Speaker 3 (02:27:20):
You know it was.

Speaker 27 (02:27:21):
It was regulated to a kitchen area and or dining
room area. But there was a heavy, heavy rat problem
in the base. Very difficult. And actually the gentleman was
an information hoarder, somebody that you know, years ago would
have called you would have called them a bibliophile, somebody
that really loved books and had tons and tons of books.

Speaker 2 (02:27:44):
He was, whoa, don't you guys want your plugs in?
We got a minute left in the show.

Speaker 1 (02:27:50):
All you did that for you guys. We loved Julie.

Speaker 2 (02:27:54):
She'll call back tomorrow week on.

Speaker 3 (02:27:56):
My Governor's this weekend next Thursday.

Speaker 2 (02:27:59):
The ice house has to.

Speaker 5 (02:28:00):
Be on Friday, Winston in San Diego under water ocean beach.

Speaker 1 (02:28:06):
Yes here you go.

Speaker 4 (02:28:07):
I gotta okay, douglasmovies dot COM's where all my dates are.
I'm gonna be in Nashville in a couple of weekends,
and Boston's coming up in June. Douglas Movies dot com.

Speaker 2 (02:28:20):
And you got tomorrow with me.

Speaker 3 (02:28:22):
Yeah, I'll be back tomorrow to finish up the week
and I'm gonna drink.

Speaker 2 (02:28:25):
But yeah, we're gonna do some Tito's vodka on the
show tomorrow.

Speaker 1 (02:28:27):
Look at this, Look at this. Look at how badly
you made panic attacks. I've been mad. Shoulders, every muscle
is tensed. I'm my I'm staring at the floor. You
can see you gotta post that. Dude, I'm young being down.
Pull Tompkins. I've never seen you look like that. Got horrible.

Speaker 2 (02:28:48):
I look, they're so fucking confident in front of people.
His his shoulders are all the way up in the
air and looking.

Speaker 3 (02:28:54):
At the ground.

Speaker 1 (02:28:55):
He's looking at the ground.

Speaker 3 (02:28:56):
He's about to cry.

Speaker 1 (02:28:57):
Look, I was completely restricted. I was like rigor mortif
this mark I got a plug. We got cats that
Denver in a couple of weeks. Marcomancawi dot com. Check
out my special on May twelfth and Tuesday with stories.

Speaker 10 (02:29:11):
Right.

Speaker 1 (02:29:11):
So, the Opie Radio Show is now