Opie on His Mom’s Death: “She Died Alone on My Wedding Anniversary”

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
There we go. Good morning, everybody. Welcome to my live stream,
where five hundred feet above the streets in New York
City is the sun. It looks like it's gonna peak
through the clouds in about fifteen minutes or so. Hope
everyone's doing well. Thanksgiving right around the corner. I was
hoping to have a fun, fun, fun last live stream

(00:24):
before Thanksgiving. But you know, life has a way of
kicking you in the balls. Last I left you had
a fun live stream with around the Waiter and Tony Pay.
I was getting ready for my anniversary with my wife.

(00:48):
We were excited about that. We took the kids to
the to the restaurant that we had our first date.
Things were looking good, good for the weekend, looking good.
And then and then I get a call from uh,

(01:09):
from my older sister and she basically announced to me that.

Speaker 2 (01:14):
Uh that my mom uh died, Yeah, eighty nine years old.

Speaker 1 (01:28):
And uh I've been uh, I've been leaking tears ever since,
if you want to know the truth. And uh, I
I don't want to do this live stream today, but
uh my, my my friend around the waiters like, man,
you got it, you gotta you gotta, you gotta do it,

(01:49):
so he should be on in a few minutes, and uh,
you know, we're gonna probably roll through this. But I
have I have very very mixed emotions of uh about
the passing of my mom. I'm eighty nine years old.
I'm not going to sugarcoat it. She died alone, she
died knowing that all her kids stopped seeing her years

(02:12):
and years and years ago. And that's uh. And that's
where we're at today, extended family reaching out basically saying,
try to try to see the good. They all knew,
they all knew that we had a very very tough mom,
a very tough mom, a mom that rarely gave us

(02:35):
a break, a mom that brought a lot of a
lot of said, and there's a lot of negative energy
into our lives. Is there good in their? Sure, there's
a lot of good, a lot of good. But like
I told my brother, you know, i'm i'm i'm i'm

(02:55):
I'm pushing through the sludge today and yes, your day
to try to find the good and hopefully we'll get
to that point eventually. But here he is, ron Ron
the waiter.

Speaker 3 (03:09):
Hi, Ronnie, good morning, everybody.

Speaker 1 (03:12):
What's going on? Man?

Speaker 3 (03:14):
Well, what's going on? With you. That's the real question.

Speaker 1 (03:18):
You know what, Ron, I'm actually good. What what I
don't like about the passing of my mom at eighty
nine years old is uh, it's just it just stirs off,
It stirs up, I should say, Uh, it just stirs
up a lot of a lot of shit at work
on myself. When you try to move on from you know, situations,

(03:41):
when you when you put up boundaries, when you when
you decide, when you make very tough decisions and decide
you're gonna you're actually gonna remove people from your life.
You know, a lot of that stuff just settles down
all nice, all nice years of therapy and and and

(04:02):
surrounding myself with good people, all that stuff settles down nice.
But then as soon as I found out that my
mom died at eighty nine years old a couple of
days ago, it just stirs in episodes, all in the
air again. So my thought today is I just wanted
to settle back down. It'll always be there. Just let

(04:23):
it settle back down. That's that's what I'm thinking today.

Speaker 4 (04:28):
This is my question because this is not a shaka.
It's not like all of a sudden your you know,
your mother had like like leukemia died a week later,
like you were preparing for this.

Speaker 3 (04:42):
You seem a little surprised.

Speaker 4 (04:44):
Actually, you seem like, oh it, it's.

Speaker 3 (04:48):
Not like you got caught off guard.

Speaker 4 (04:49):
But I think you there are emotions I think you
have been suppressing because I think you were trying to
say to yourself, I'm ready for this, I'm prepared and
and I think it's.

Speaker 3 (05:01):
Healthy that like.

Speaker 4 (05:04):
Run in general, that is how you feel now, or
like is this how you expected it to go.

Speaker 1 (05:10):
I haven't really had a good cry over it when
I when I told my wife, you know, I made
a joke out of it, and I'll explain in a second.
I said to my wife, you know, mom, mom gave
gave me one final shot on her way out. What
do you mean on her way out? Well, she died
and she gave me one final shot. I I shed,

(05:33):
I shed some tears when I was telling my wife.
But in general, I've been just leaking, leaking moisture form
my eyes for the last three days, just leaking moisture
my mom. My mom died on my anversary. And you
might say to yourself, uh, that's just a coincidence. Don't

(05:55):
tell rod Ron doesn't think there's any coincidences.

Speaker 3 (05:58):
Ever. If you think life is random, you're a fool.

Speaker 1 (06:02):
My mom died on my anniversary. You might think to yourself, all,
you know, please, please don't make this about yourself. And
I get that, you know, but I'll tell you the
significance of my mom dying on November twenty second. Okay, yes,
that is my anniversary, but it's also the anniversary of

(06:25):
my dad's first wife when they got married. I actually
got married on the exact same day, many years later,
obviously as my dad. My dad's first marriage, he got
married on November twenty second. Fast forward a whole bunch
of years later, and I got married on November twenty second.
And my dad's first marriage was such a thorn, a

(06:47):
thorn in my mom's side, our entire lives. Hey, what
can you tell me about your dad's first wife? A
very very little. We weren't allowed to bring it up
in our house. We would whisper it when I got
older and I would go to a bar or something
with my dad. Then we would have open conversations about it.
He married his high school sweetheart. They were in love.

(07:10):
They had three kids. Two died from crib death one
reason why I never liked Jim Norton's stupid uncle Paul shit,
a shock jock with a boundary. Yes, I had a boundary,
and I did tell Jim why. I had a tough
time in his uncle Paul character. But he didn't give
a shit. He didn't give a shit. He just wanted
people out of his fucking way. But I had a

(07:33):
very tough time with that type of humor because of
what happened to my dad. He lost two kids I
should have like two older brothers. So his wife I
don't even I don't even know ron. I don't even
know how old. But she was maybe mid twenties, maybe
no idea, no idea, mid twenties. She dies of some

(07:55):
kind of kidney disease that is very treatable nowadays, but
they took her out back in the day. And about
a year later, my dad met my mom and ended
up having six kids, and through our lives we weren't
allowed to bring up his past life. My poor sister,
my half sister, I say half for this discussion. It
was her mom. She wasn't really allowed to know much

(08:18):
about her own mom. There weren't a lot of pictures.
There were nothing, and if you brought it up, my
mom would lose her fucking mind. And it wasn't like
my dad went through some crazy ass divorce, you know,
but we have people out there. I understand you're you
move on and you got to deal with an ex
or something. This was an insane tragedy that happened, and

(08:42):
we weren't allowed to bring it up. My sister certainly
wasn't allowed to bring it up. And it was a
sore spot with my mom. Everything was a sore spot
with my mom. But the fact is, ron to get
to your point, they got married also on November twenty second,
and that's the day my mom took her final breath.

Speaker 4 (09:02):
Oh my god, your mother's hilarious. Your mother has an
absolute sense of humor.

Speaker 1 (09:07):
Well, she certainly had a sense of humor roun you know,
that's one thing I do remember as I was sledging,
sludging through trying to remember stuff. She was a huge
fan of Carol Burnett, huge fan. You know. When she laughed,
it was it was infectious. She had an infectious laugh.
She loved her Carol Burnett. She loved a good laugh.

(09:29):
She did have a good sense of humor. She was
a good storyteller, she was a great writer. But unfortunately,
the dark cloud that literally followed her, uh just just
took her down, took down everybody around her, and she
chose to live in the darkness. You know, she had

(09:50):
a very tough time finding that light, very tough time.
You know, when people say, you know, rest in peace,
and I've been getting a lot of rest in pieces
about my mom, a lot of you know, a lot
of my friends and family. When I say recip peace,
I know it's just something you say. I don't I

(10:10):
don't put a lot of weight in saying rest of peace.
I know it's the right thing to say, but I
don't put a lot of a lot of weight behind that.
But I got to tell you, the one thing I
was thinking about is like, my mom is finally and
I mean this, finally at peace for real. There are
a lot of people they have they have an amazing
life and they die and you're saying rest of peace,

(10:31):
and I'm thinking that, no, they want to still be living.
That's why it's weird to me to say that. But
in my mom's case, I truly truly mean this when
I say rest in peace. I think she's finally at peace.
She had no peace in this world.

Speaker 3 (10:47):
None.

Speaker 1 (10:48):
She was a tortured soul, a tortured soul. My entire
fucking life. We would count the days in my house
if we had if we had a good day, We're like,
oh my god, let's go for two. Let's go for two.
We rarely got to two days in a row that
were good in my in my.

Speaker 4 (11:04):
House, right, it sounds like you have a form of
post traumatic stress disorder from your mother.

Speaker 1 (11:15):
I went through therapy. I have PTSD and uh, but
you did. Oh No, I have PTSD for real, But
I don't. I've only brought it up a little bit
over the years because you know, I don't want to
compare myself to guys that are fighting for our fucking country,
because I think that's real PTSD. But my th is
like it's very similar it, you know.

Speaker 4 (11:37):
But no, you don't have to compare it to the military.
There's different forms of Yeah, I understand that, but I
can be sexually abused and have that.

Speaker 1 (11:45):
Yeah, we didn't. Our stuff was just uh, a lot
of yelling, a lot a lot of just exhaustion, just exhaustion.

Speaker 4 (11:56):
It sounded like as a child like, because I can
kind of relate to this. You kind of had to
walk on eg shelves around your mother because you didn't
want to set her off.

Speaker 3 (12:05):
Is that true?

Speaker 1 (12:06):
Yeah? Yeah, she would just march around the house all
day long, finding shit, finding shit that was wrong. And
you know, you got your mother.

Speaker 3 (12:15):
Your mother was a housewife or she weren't.

Speaker 1 (12:18):
M Yeah, she did odd at odds and end jobs
to try to make ends meet because we didn't have
a lot of money coming in. One of the sticking
points with me was that, oh my god. But I
think by the time I was sixteen, I was like,
I was counting the days that I could get out
of the house. I knew at eighteen I could go

(12:39):
to college and that would be my escape. I think
that's one reason why I'm not insanely fucked up, because
I I was aware of the situation.

Speaker 3 (12:51):
Did you ever try to run away?

Speaker 1 (12:53):
I didn't know, man, I I knew I had I
had to get a I know you did. I had
to get an educ you know, how to get education.
My goal was to get to a college and just
just set myself up where I could fucking move on
from this. And I think that's one reason for real,
I'm not insanely fucked up. Is because I was able
to get out of the situation around eighteen. From eighteen

(13:16):
all the way to about twenty eight I wasn't home
as much. You know, the college years, I came home
for the summer and I would caddy try to make money.
And then after that I stayed up in the Rochester
in the Buffalo area to start my radio career. Because
I was low man on the totem pole, I only
got a total of two weeks off a year, So
I was seeing my family back home maybe two weeks

(13:38):
a year, maybe every once in a while, a long weekend,
and that was it. And I think that really, thank
God helped me. It helped me a lot. But to
answer your question about my mom and the jobs, you know,
one of the things that was insanely frustrating was she
took all our money, all our money. I was a
caddy making making really good money, and I was trying

(13:58):
to set myself up for my own life. My parents
had no money for us for college. I made my
college money back in the day, big time and then some.
But I had to go to college with zero money
because she took every single fucking cent except for the
money I started hiding in the wall, which we've talked about, uh,
you know, uh in the past here. But it wasn't

(14:19):
a lot because I had I had to give her.
She wasn't stupid. I had to give up my my
caddie money. And she wrote it down famously, I'll pay
you back, I'll pay you back. And I was. I
was pretty much paying for groceries for my for my
family when I was like fuck thirteen fourteen years old man.
And so then I went to Uh, I went to Geneseo.

(14:40):
I should have been able to not only pay for
my tuition but also not have a job and just
enjoy my college. But I had a fucking hustle up there.
I had, I had, I had all sorts of side
hustles and side jobs because I needed to make money,
which you know, which was an insane uh insanely sore
uh sore subject with me. So I don't know, I'm

(15:03):
just babbling.

Speaker 4 (15:04):
I know that, Ron, Hey, listen, I can relate to
the money thing. My father took my bob Mitzvah money.
It was like fucking twenty thirty thousand. He took it
twenty or thirty thousand, Yeah, bar mit took money, serious money, dude.

Speaker 1 (15:18):
Yeah, you understand that.

Speaker 4 (15:20):
You know, some of these people when they have the
en bironmemsis of the family spending like a couple hundred
thousand on the fucking bob mitzvah.

Speaker 3 (15:26):
Right, you get a lot of money.

Speaker 4 (15:27):
But back then I think I got like thirty thousand,
which was a lot. My father took it because he
was a degenerate, fucking gambler like most mobsters.

Speaker 1 (15:35):
Actually right, oh wow, we have a lot of fucking similarities. Huh.
But you know it was, it was just insanely frustrating,
just uh literally, she never she never gave any of
us a fucking break. It was exhausting right to the end,
exhausting to the day that I set up you know,
boundaries and said, I gotta people don't understand this, and

(15:56):
I get it, and I pray that most of the
people watching this don't understand what I'm about to say,
because that means you're you're not in a horrible situation.
But it gets to a point like my dad had
no choice. My dad was a really good guy and
he believed he could, you know, cure my mom of
her mental illness right to the day he died. The

(16:19):
last thing he did on earth besides walk himself to
an ambulance and then, you know, he had a brain
bleed that they would find out about it an hour later,
and he went and took home and never came back.
But the fact is he walked himself to his own
ambulance after this horrific car accident. He refused to leave

(16:39):
the the accident's site until they got my mom out
of the car. And the last gesture he did on
earth was hand over his fucking handkerchief. You know how
we were talking about handkerchiefs. Recently handed it to her
because she was bleeding all over the fucking place. That
was the last thing he did on earth was taking
care of her, and he believed in her right to

(17:00):
his last breath. And I got I got some guilt
today because my dad would have would not have been
happy with me or any of my siblings that we
you know that we we had to walk away from
my mom. You know, I think I had that guilt today,
but I also know it's something I had to do.
It was it was his wife. If this is happening
to my wife or my kids, I'm all in, right

(17:22):
to the right to the end. But what you learn
through therapy is that sometimes you know you have to
let go for the sake of your own goddamn family.
I let go for myself, for my wife and for
my two kids, and I had no choice, and it
wasn't it wasn't an easy decision to do whatsoever, and

(17:43):
I questioned the decision for years. The fact is I
the last time I talked to my mom was seven
years ago, and it was the day that I was
let go from Serious x I was out of my mind.
I just blew up my whole fucking career. All I
had to do was behave at Serious XM and I
would still be over there, but I couldn't help myself.
And I'm fine with that now. And I was at

(18:04):
the beach house I got the call that you know,
they were letting me go, and I was like, holy shit.
I just blew up my career. I had a great
new show that I was really into and it was
all gone. It was all gone, booth up in smoke.
And that same day my mom called and I told her,
and it went right from it went from right to right,
from that to yelling and screaming at me because I

(18:27):
didn't send her a card recently for whatever holidays around
the day I got fucking let go from serious. And
then she started listing all the times I didn't give
her cards in recent years, never meant, never asked about
the kids, never asked about the wife. All she wanted
to yell and scream about was the fact I didn't

(18:47):
send her any cards recently. This is this is what
we had to do. And at that point I was like,
I'm done. I'm done. She made it very easy and
that was the last time I ever talked to her.

Speaker 4 (18:57):
It sounds your mother has a lot of them, very
similar characteristics to my father's sister, the nascissist. Yeah, so
November twenty second, that's a big fucking date. Yeah, your mother,
by the way, definitely a sense of humor. But how
did she do it? How did she will herself to

(19:17):
go on that date?

Speaker 3 (19:18):
You know what I mean?

Speaker 4 (19:19):
You just like you just can't go okay, I'm ready,
Like like, I mean, you just how did that happen?

Speaker 1 (19:25):
I don't I don't have a timeline. You know. The
little the little knowledge I'm getting about this is that
you know the last Yeah, for a while now. She
hasn't really been with us in general. Okay, she's just been.
They were actually I think pretty surprised she was still

(19:45):
alive even she she taps out.

Speaker 4 (19:49):
But she died on November twenty second, right, oh yeah,
oh yeah. So that's what I'm saying, like, how how
does that process work? When she said, fuck it, I'm
I'm gonna I'm gonna one last jab on on on
the two big date wedding days, she willed herself to go.

Speaker 3 (20:08):
You understand that, well, she willed herself to go.

Speaker 1 (20:13):
I mean, look, ron, I will I will let that
sit there. I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna push back
on that. It is absolutely strange. Well, I mean, the
the wedding date is significant because I when I got married,
I got married at the Riz Carlton in Philly, and
you know, it was a it was at the height
of the on a fucking phenomenon. So you know, I

(20:35):
had a lot of a lot of fucking money to
spend and we we did it upright, We got married
at the Riz Carlton of Philly, and to this day
people say it's one of the best days of their lives.
They had so much fun at our wedding. It was.
It was almost like a fucking fairy tale, fucking wedding
for sure. And uh, you know, a day or two
after my wedding, my mom called me to yell and
scream at me because she wasn't treated right at my wedding.

(20:59):
And I'm telling you right, I'm telling you right now,
we treated her right. She needed a lot of attention,
a lot physically, she needed attention. Mentally, she needed attention.
And my thought at the time was, I'm going to

(21:19):
put her at her at a table, you know, where
she she would be comfortable with people she knows older people, right,
And then I had, like, I wanted to give my
own family a break, so they were at their own
table because they also didn't want to deal with her.
And then, you know, the main table was me and

(21:40):
my brother and my wife and a few other people.
And she was so pissed off that she wasn't sitting
at my table on my wedding. And I knew if
she was sitting at my table at my wedding, I
would have been miserable. And I wasn't going to do
that to me or my wife on my wedding day.

(22:02):
So there is to your wife.

Speaker 3 (22:04):
Huh was your mother ever nice to your wife?

Speaker 1 (22:08):
Okay, No, my mom was tricky. Man. If you met
my if you would have met my mom back that
you would have thought she was a lovely lady.

Speaker 3 (22:15):
Now I'm telling you, they're people I know. I can
I believe me.

Speaker 1 (22:18):
That's why it's she knows, she knows how to work it. Man.
You know, she would have amazing conversations outside the house
with people. People would fall for her quickly.

Speaker 3 (22:30):
That's a narcissist. Yeah, they're very clever.

Speaker 4 (22:33):
They're they're always uh conniving, They're always you know what
narcissists do. They're they're they're they're alway they're like they
play chess. They're always calculating how am I going to
make this relationship work?

Speaker 3 (22:47):
From me right?

Speaker 1 (22:50):
Well, to be fair, just to put all of it
out on the table, my mom suffered from a severe OCD,
severe severe OCD to the point where she was she
was convinced she was doing crazy ass ship and that
she needed to go to the police station.

Speaker 3 (23:04):
In terms, but what does that mean?

Speaker 4 (23:06):
She's like turning the light off off and on like
five times.

Speaker 1 (23:10):
There was more thoughts, over and over just terrible, horrible,
fucking thoughts that I don't you know, you don't even
want to talk about, you know, just just think of
the most horrible thoughts. It was more that did we
have a tidy house? Of course we did, but it
was the thoughts that drove her absolutely insane.

Speaker 3 (23:33):
You lived in a your mother kept a very clean house.

Speaker 1 (23:36):
Oh yeah, man, we couldn't even have a We can't.
We couldn't even uh, we couldn't even have sneakers out
in our room. If we had just a pair of
sneakers in the middle of the fucking room, like it was,
it was hell on earth, Hell on earth.

Speaker 3 (23:51):
This is where you and I absolutely differ.

Speaker 4 (23:54):
My mother does not we I lived in philth My
mother didn't clean, just fucking dust bunnies in the corner, newspapers,
an turn off if you had to turn on the
light in the bathroom first. This is Beacon Hill, you know,
these are old fucking buildings.

Speaker 3 (24:09):
She didn't clean.

Speaker 4 (24:09):
She didn't clean, like you had to turn the light
on the bathroom first or you would step on roaches.
Like just filthy dust everywhere, newspapers everywhere, Fucking dishes in
the sink for months, covered in rust.

Speaker 1 (24:23):
Well, if you, uh, if you didn't clean your room
in my house, most of us did because we knew
what would happen, you would come to your house. I
gotta leave my siblings out of it. I got, I got,
I got names and stories, you know, But that's their
story to tell. I'm just telling my story, and my
story is pretty similar to my siblings. The fact is,

(24:45):
you know, if you're just tuning in, my mama died
what days I don't even know what, like three days ago,
at the age of eighty nine. And she you know,
there's no way to sugarcoat that she died alone with
no one visiting her. No one visit her for years,
for fucking years. It's really as sad as it gets.
But in my house, if you didn't clean, hold on.

Speaker 3 (25:04):
So she was she like in a nursing home in
Long Eyes.

Speaker 1 (25:07):
Yeah, and then they moved to the next fucking corridor,
you know, that type of ship.

Speaker 3 (25:12):
So she was surrounded by her Jamaican the caregivers.

Speaker 1 (25:16):
Yeah, probably some dude singing Frank Sinatra down the hall
in a break room. Yeah, I guess. I mean, it's
fucking sad, but I'm going to try to find the
comedy in it.

Speaker 3 (25:26):
So your mother already found the comedy in it. Yeahmery seconds.

Speaker 1 (25:32):
If you didn't clean your room, it would get to
a point where she would completely destroy it, like completely
destroy it, whether it was everything in your room was
just in a giant pile in the middle of the
in the middle of the room, broken shit all over
the place, or outside sometimes sometimes if there was a window,
just throw everything out the fucking window. And what I

(25:54):
mention the names, I remember very distinctly one of my siblings,
you know, in their room after one of these incidentss uh,
just in the middle of the in the middle of
her room, just crying among her stuff, all her you know,
my wife had to teach me this. Like, you know,
when my kids, when they were a lot younger, they

(26:14):
lost a toy or something, you know, they would be devastated.
I'm like, what's the fucking big deal about that? She goes, No,
it's everything to them. Do you understand that. It's like
if you had it's like the time when your phone
fucking fell at the ocean, Remember how devastated you were
for days. That's it's the exact same thing. And I
understand that now. So when I go back and tell

(26:36):
the story about my sibling. Everything this person owned was
very valuable to them, and now they're in their room
with their entire room destroyed in a fucking pile, going
through it like you go through your house after you know,
a tornado comes by.

Speaker 4 (26:56):
You know, I have a feeling if your mother was
diagnosed now, it sounds like your mother has the symptoms
of like BiPOL or schizophrenia. Yeah, I mean that, honestly,
that's that really sounds like your mother was your mother
ever on medication for the for anything.

Speaker 1 (27:15):
Yeah. Well, well, first of all, Ron, you know, you're
probably right, but I don't know, Thank god, you know,
I we well, uh, for the most part, most of
us don't really know the extent.

Speaker 3 (27:27):
I mean, I wouldn't be surprised.

Speaker 1 (27:29):
Yeah, most of us don't know that because we we
just had a we just had a fucking move on.

Speaker 4 (27:35):
But but also back in the day, they didn't even
test for that type of ship Like back of the day,
they didn't they didn't know what bipolar was or schizophrenia was.

Speaker 1 (27:44):
Well, the thing is.

Speaker 3 (27:46):
To my sunset, sun sunrise behind you.

Speaker 1 (27:48):
Yeah, that's awesome. Actually, it's beautiful.

Speaker 3 (27:51):
It really is.

Speaker 1 (27:52):
Nut I can't wait to get out of the city
for Thanksgiving and just like fucking walk that beach and breathe.
I just want everything to settle right down to where
it was. It was. It's in a good spot with
everything just settled down at the bottom.

Speaker 3 (28:05):
No, that's wrong.

Speaker 4 (28:08):
If you let things can settle out of the bottom,
that's when you get That's when you you physically get sick.

Speaker 3 (28:14):
That's when you get like.

Speaker 1 (28:15):
No, I understand that wrong. But what I mean is like,
I'm good in general, but the death of my mom,
it just stirs everything up. And I have a question,
and I look out with these emotions. You should go
with your emotions, and then I'm looking forward to it
settling back down and working on ship from that level.
But hold on, I know you have a question and

(28:36):
say that, because I do have a I have to
answer your your other question, which is very very important.
My mom, my mom U. When we were growing up,
you know, we barely drank, We barely partook in any
drugs or anything like that, because it would be hell
on earth, hell on earth if we came home with

(28:58):
alcohol on our breath. I told the one story when
my dad picked me up and I had a few
cocktails with my friend John, and I was young. He
was out of his mind panicking and we had to
make a plan on the way home because he just
knew my mom would lose her shit. So the fact
is with my mom, if my dad had a second

(29:19):
beer at dinner, she would lose her mind. And this
is all based on the fact that she was brought
up with a severe alcoholic, you know, an alcoholic that
I don't know what happened in my mom's house. I
never wanted to ask her. She would bring it up
from time to time. It didn't sound fucking good at all,
and it was best not to know the details of

(29:41):
her upbringing. Let's just put it that way. I understood
in broad strokes that her upbringing was way worse than mine.
I have to say that doesn't make it right with
what happened with my mom and me and the rest
of my siblings, But she had it way worse, way worse.

(30:02):
So when uh, when she wasn't even diagnosed with anything
for most of my fucking life, I remember.

Speaker 4 (30:11):
It sounds like sometimes severe trauma brings on sort of
like bipolar schizophrenia.

Speaker 3 (30:17):
Like, yeah, I could relate to that. It's not.

Speaker 4 (30:20):
You know, listen, growing up with a severe alcoholic is
traumatic for a kid, so and that can lead to
physical abuse.

Speaker 1 (30:28):
I mean, we got the physical ship like anybody else
my age. You know.

Speaker 3 (30:31):
Just no, I mean, do you think your mother was
physically abused?

Speaker 4 (30:35):
I might even actually I do, Like no, okay, and
that mean it's not uncommon, That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (30:44):
Unfortunately, it's not uncommon.

Speaker 4 (30:46):
I don't physically sexually abused, especially with an alcoholic father.

Speaker 1 (30:49):
I literally don't know the answer to that. Thank you God,
so really fast. If my dad had two beers at dinner,
my mom would lose her shit.

Speaker 3 (30:57):
You're becoming an alcohol like.

Speaker 1 (30:59):
This is how she used to talk. You're becoming it
all good, fred Freddy, that's her exact.

Speaker 3 (31:07):
Are you serious?

Speaker 1 (31:08):
All of us do my mom.

Speaker 3 (31:10):
It's like a counter.

Speaker 1 (31:11):
That's how we get it out when we get together
at little barbecues and stuff. We all do my mom's
voice that is pitch perfect. I'm telling you right now,
So fast forward. They I'm doing radio in Buffalo. They
came up to visit me, and we had a lovely weekend.
We had a fucking lovely weekend. To be honest, with you.
There were times, you know, things were good, but unfortunately

(31:31):
it was few and far between. And I remember being
at Gabriel's Gate I'll go local for everybody on Alan
Street in Buffalo, and I was having a plate of wings.
I had a little radio career going, I was doing overnights,
and I was on my way to making something of myself,
and my mom and dad were sitting across from me,
and my dad said, we have something to tell you. Your

(31:51):
mom has been diagnosed with OCD. I was twenty fuck
I don't know, twenty four. Maybe I was twenty four
years old when I finally got an answer to why
my mom acted like she did. I was like, oh,
and it was nice to finally have an understanding. And

(32:12):
then the problem is, back then they took care of
mental illness by just giving you a horse tranquilizers. Nowadays
you can microdose all sorts of shit that they're figuring
out the medication a little better. But back then they
just horse tranquilized you. And my mom spent man, I
don't I don't know. My mom spent at least the

(32:35):
last thirty years pretty much in bed most of the time,
most of the time from her late fifties to her death.
Pretty much most of her life is spent in a bed.
And then she was you know, she was a walking zombie.
And by the end of her life, she absolutely was
an addict, Absolutely an addict. Not her fault, but when

(32:57):
they're prescribing all sorts of medication. You know, when we
finally got my mom out of the house I grew
up in, and we got her into a sister living
when I was still doing day to day stuff, trying
everything I could to help her out, Me and my
now wife, we we emptied the uh, we emptied the uh.
The cabinet there at the medicine cabinet, we had two

(33:18):
bags of fucking pill bottles, two bags because then she
was taking care of herself, so she didn't even know
what the fuck she should be taking and and she
just had every possible pill bottle there is, which is
so weird to come from a woman that was scared
to have a cocktail when I was younger, to you know, uh,
to this state. And then we got her into the home,

(33:40):
and then they got you know, they got her, uh,
they got control of that that part of her of
her life, so.

Speaker 4 (33:48):
That I had I had a very rich aunt in Brockton, Massachusetts,
very rich. Matter of fact, her husband made a fortune,
like in the seventies or eighties in the real estate market.
And that's all the husband that he just played, he
just played. He sat his oposite and played real estate.
I played the stock pocket. So I had a very

(34:10):
very rich aunt, Auntie Sylvia, and she lived in her bedroom.
She had a luxurious bedroom. And she hurt her.

Speaker 3 (34:20):
Back and.

Speaker 4 (34:24):
Never left her bed again and was straight up hooked
on opiates. And we all know she said like she
just didn't want to ever get up again, like she
always said, my back, I can't walk. She got super
hooked on opiates and just chain smoked, you know, those
long sinned Virginia slims in her bed watching her shows.

Speaker 3 (34:45):
The narcissist told his mother where I'm going.

Speaker 4 (34:47):
The one who killed herself on Thanksgiving, right also got
hooked on opiates and it destroyed her.

Speaker 1 (34:55):
Yeah, I mean, you know.

Speaker 4 (34:57):
Not uncommon for middle aged women and older women to
be hooked on opiates.

Speaker 1 (35:01):
Dude. I think every single person watching this right now
knows of a person that they would have never dreamed
would have been addicted to stuff. You know. Yeah, It's
like all of a sudden, you go in for uh
maybe a sports injury and you need a little action
after a surgery or something, and next thing you know,
it just sets you off and you're the fucking same.

Speaker 4 (35:25):
Two wants in my family had had had back injuries
and they both became opiate addicts.

Speaker 3 (35:31):
Yeah, uh yeah, And.

Speaker 1 (35:34):
I mean and it's sad because like that was the solution,
you know. So she walked around a big chunk of
her life zombiefied basically.

Speaker 3 (35:43):
And back then they didn't realize the danger of opious.

Speaker 4 (35:46):
I mean they were they were prescribing opius back then,
like tic TACs.

Speaker 1 (35:50):
Yeah, I mean other you know, Like I said, I
got to get to a place where I can remember
some good stuff.

Speaker 4 (35:55):
Hold on, I still have a question I want to
ask you because I feel like one of the reasons
you survived this very.

Speaker 1 (36:05):
Why are we getting the best sunrise since me and
you have been doing these things.

Speaker 3 (36:10):
It's your mind, nuts.

Speaker 1 (36:12):
That's the thing behind me.

Speaker 3 (36:15):
That's amazing. That really, dude, it looks fake.

Speaker 1 (36:17):
It looks like painting.

Speaker 4 (36:19):
No, that dude, that looks like that looks like the
backdrop of the morning show you do every day.

Speaker 1 (36:26):
It's it's insanity that we.

Speaker 4 (36:30):
Take are you should take a still picture of that?

Speaker 3 (36:33):
Anyways?

Speaker 4 (36:34):
Yeah, I think part of the reason you were able
to survive a very stressful environment was you did.

Speaker 3 (36:41):
You were able to lead on your brothers and sisters.

Speaker 4 (36:43):
I'm sure you guys got together and talked about the
common the common stresses of your mother.

Speaker 3 (36:51):
Of course, otherwise you wouldn't have made it.

Speaker 4 (36:54):
Probably like I'm an only child, I don't know how
the fuck I made it.

Speaker 1 (36:59):
I think, uh, being from a big family, yeah, we
we uh yes, I think we held each other together
as best we could. I really do believe that. You know,
other other memories, you know, other memories uh you know
growing up. You know my mom would have to uh uh, well,

(37:21):
she would have to go to mental hospitals from a
ton of time, and I would have an aunt over,
you know, taking care of us or finding my mom.
I never asked my siblings, but I found my mom
in the attic once, just in the middle of a
fucking breakdown and the guilt we would feel or no, I,

(37:41):
like I said, I got to speak for just myself.
But I know a lot of this stuff is very
very similar. Trust me. The guilt I would feel when
my mom would go away to uh to the mental
part of the hospital, right for a few days. The
piece you would feel instantly in the house, the piece.

(38:03):
You would be like, oh, look what this could be.
And then you know, and fast forward, that door would open.
It'd be good to see mom again for an hour
or two, and then it would just go, I'm like,
what did you fucking learn it?

Speaker 4 (38:17):
There?

Speaker 1 (38:17):
You're going right? Look at this sunrise?

Speaker 3 (38:20):
Okay, I could dopey.

Speaker 4 (38:21):
I can't even focus on you right now. That is
such a ridiculous.

Speaker 3 (38:25):
Sunrise that is happening today. I tell you what I'm
gonna do.

Speaker 4 (38:29):
After we're done, I'm gonna go back to I'm gonna
go I'm gonna punch up the episode and I'm gonna
take a still shot of like where are we.

Speaker 3 (38:37):
Thirty eight minutes in? Yeah, thirty eight minutes in.

Speaker 4 (38:40):
That is fucking That should be your picture, dude, that
should be like, let me take it.

Speaker 1 (38:48):
That's ridiculous where it's happening today. I'll send you that picture.
But anyway, yeah, and then you.

Speaker 4 (38:58):
Know, can I say one more thing? I do think
that's a sign from your mother if you want to
if you choose to believe.

Speaker 1 (39:03):
That it's a little weird.

Speaker 3 (39:04):
But talking about her, right, it's It's.

Speaker 1 (39:07):
One reason why I like live stream from this location
in my apartment to hopefully get sunrises like this, and
we really haven't gotten that many cool sunrises since I
came back from the beach. But anyway, you know, other
just other thoughts, like we weren't allowed to ever confront
my mom ever ever we knew it was, uh, you know,

(39:29):
the lesser of two evils was to just let her
fucking run the house.

Speaker 3 (39:34):
Like was your mother like a religious woman. She went
to church.

Speaker 1 (39:37):
She hated the Catholic church. They were both brought up
very Catholic. She used to tell stories about the nuns
and how scary they were and how they bat the
ship out of the kids in Catholic school. She's from
that generation.

Speaker 4 (39:54):
Hold On, let me try to understand what you just said.
Your mother and father were both were hes, very ca
and then they turned out to hate the Catholic Church.

Speaker 1 (40:04):
Well, my dad realized that the you know, the Catholic
religion wasn't telling the full story. He was really obsessed
with that and was he loved digging into all the
all the scrolls and all the stuff that wasn't actually
too public. He was very interested in digging.

Speaker 3 (40:20):
The mysticism of it much deeper.

Speaker 1 (40:23):
Than what is because suppose there's a ton of shit
they left out of the Bible and all this stuff.

Speaker 4 (40:28):
And I just find it odd that, like if all
of that, Yeah, I just find it odd.

Speaker 3 (40:33):
I find it odd if, like.

Speaker 4 (40:34):
For your mother, you grow up a strict Catholic and
then hating the Catholic religion.

Speaker 3 (40:39):
To me, that said something something bad happened.

Speaker 1 (40:42):
Well, no, well she she would talk about the nuns
and you know, they would they would physically abuse you
in the Catholic school. Yes, she's from that generation. If
you have older people of the Catholic faith in your family,
they will tell you stories that the nuns were to
be feared. They were scary people. They would they would
hit you in rulers, on your hands and stuff. They

(41:04):
were disciplinarians. It was bad.

Speaker 3 (41:07):
You know.

Speaker 4 (41:07):
The reason I say that is because I'm from Boston
and the Catholic Church. There was such a scandal in
the Catholic Church in Boston that you that pretty much
if you're from Boston, either you were molested or you
knew somebody who was molested by a priest in Boston.
That's why I'm like, that's why I said that. I'm
wondering what happened to your mother, But I guess it

(41:28):
was the nuns, and.

Speaker 1 (41:30):
She would she would focus on the nuns, and then
she turned her back on religion in general. Because I've
said it recently, she you know, you got to give
her a little bit of a break because she also
had seven kids on top of her issues, and that's
not easy. And my mom, I will say this about her,
She tried her best with what she had. She definitely
tried her best to raise us properly and make sure

(41:52):
we had clothes and food and everything else.

Speaker 4 (41:54):
So I have another question, what the hell did your
father do?

Speaker 3 (41:59):
Just like your father must.

Speaker 4 (42:00):
Have been making a lot of money to support seven
fucking people. That's how do you support seven people? How
do you feed them? How do you clothe them?

Speaker 1 (42:08):
We were we were in extreme debt. My dad died
with not much, not even really a bank account.

Speaker 3 (42:14):
What did your father do for a living?

Speaker 1 (42:15):
He was like, he was like an entrepreneur.

Speaker 4 (42:17):
He had entrepreneur well, he had early.

Speaker 1 (42:20):
Success in real estate. And I tell this and people
I don't give a shit what people believe or not.
This iscaus that's truth. My dad ran in the same
circles as Donald Trump's father back in the day in
Long Island City in real estate. He knew Donald Trump's father,
and my dad was pretty successful in real estate back then.
But it was also back then when you weren't making
insane money like they do today. But he did all

(42:41):
right for himself, and that all went away when he
met my mom, because my mom. I think the story
of my dad is that he was more than capable
of of providing for a family of a total of nine,
but with my mom's issues getting worse and worse year
after year, it made it almost impossible for him to

(43:02):
even leave the fucking house. So we all went away slowly.
And then every once in a while he would He
had an office in the house I grew up in.
He was in there like sixteen hours a day, hustling,
you know. He turned more into an entrepreneur. And then
every once in a while he would hit on something
and we would have like a huge check come in

(43:23):
and it would be nice, but that money would go
away really quickly. And for most of my time growing
up we had very very little money, very little money.

Speaker 3 (43:32):
All right.

Speaker 4 (43:33):
So here's here's another question. So what what's the next
plan of like you having a big funeral?

Speaker 3 (43:38):
Like how does this? What goes on? Now? What are
you doing?

Speaker 1 (43:41):
I think she's already been cremated, and I don't think
this is gonna be a memorial because that's.

Speaker 3 (43:46):
What about the cemetery. You don't have a plot for her.
You don't have like a.

Speaker 1 (43:50):
Yeah, yeah we have we have a yeah we said
your father, right, yeah, we had plans for that. I
don't know how that's gonna I don't know. She might
be buried by, you know, by just some she might
just be very with some a couple of Mexicans and
and some and some shovels.

Speaker 4 (44:07):
They don't bury like the family that they're gonna put.

Speaker 1 (44:10):
No, they're gonna put her. I think came with my dad,
So I think that might happen with none of us around,
and then maybe eventually I'll go to Long Island, Uh yeah,
somewhere on Long Round. But anyway, what was I saying? So, uh, yeah, you.

Speaker 3 (44:29):
Get together, you put the rock on top of the
uh yeah.

Speaker 1 (44:32):
All that stuff, so that my mom is like, you know,
she she didn't like the Catholic faith because she had
She didn't want all of us kids. She told anyone
that would listen, she didn't want all these goddamn kids.
One of my siblings told, uh, told a story to me,
uh a couple of days ago that you know, Uh,

(44:52):
he he was living in the house after college, and
he was paying rent. My mom was all about making
us pay rent when we moved back. Oh, give me
the rent two hundred dollars a week and uh.

Speaker 3 (45:05):
A lot of money.

Speaker 1 (45:06):
And he, uh, he got a gig in the city.
He was going to move out to, you know, try
to start his own life with his job in the city.
And my mom turned to my dad and said, I
told you we should have had an abortion. Us just
fucking crazy, dude, fucking crazy.

Speaker 3 (45:25):
And what did your what does your father do?

Speaker 1 (45:27):
What?

Speaker 3 (45:28):
She says that he like chuckles.

Speaker 1 (45:30):
No, no, no, he was deeply depressed that he couldn't
figure it all out.

Speaker 4 (45:34):
But he doesn't say like, hey, you don't talk to
my kid like that.

Speaker 1 (45:39):
No, man, I mean that leads to something I do
want to say. My dad, you know, he.

Speaker 3 (45:43):
Don't stick up for you in front of the mother.

Speaker 1 (45:46):
Not not as much as like I said, this is
my story because I know, I.

Speaker 3 (45:49):
Put your father is afraid of your mother.

Speaker 1 (45:52):
Yes, I have you know, I have probably a couple
of siblings watching this. I think my dad was doing
the best he could with the situation. He knew, like
I don't know what the fuck to do. He probably
was thinking, I can't raise seven kids by myself. He
was absolutely scared of her going off the deep end.
You know one thing that really needs to be said today.

(46:14):
I told my wife this years ago, and she she
just it floored her. I grew up in a house
where I was convinced that if things went two sideways,
my dad, my dad, my mom would end our life.
I was convinced of that. I was convinced she she
was capable of doing that.

Speaker 3 (46:33):
That's a that's a big burden to carry.

Speaker 1 (46:36):
That's I was convinced of that. Whether it's real or not.

Speaker 3 (46:40):
Or not.

Speaker 1 (46:43):
But so when I was getting older, like most of
the time in the house, we weren't allowed to talk
back to my mom, confront her on any of the
ship she was doing, you know, because it was just
making way worse, like way worse. But then you get
a little older, I'm coming home from college. Now I got,
I had some balls. I got, I got a foot
out out of the situation. You know, I got a

(47:04):
life outside the house. So I started confronting her a
little bit, and uh, one time she was in a
full mental, full mental breakdown and there was a conversation
between me and her because I was like, this is wrong.
I was telling my dad. I would tell my dad,
this is wrong, this is wrong what mom is doing
to us, not just me, us And know what my

(47:24):
dad's answer was. And my dad was a great guy.
Great I don't want to like sugarcoat it. He was
a great guy. He would say, you know, she's mentally ill.
That was his answer when all hell was suck it up,
when all hell was breaking loose around our house. And
I would go to my dad, like I said, I'll
tell my stories today. I would go to my dad.

(47:46):
You see what she gets? You see you see you
saw like I'm like almost thinking, like finally right, and
you would go, you know, she's mentally ill. And then
you would have to just like sulk away like fuck man,
like what I mean, come on, come on, come on.

Speaker 4 (48:06):
Well that's another by the way, that's another type of
trauma when you when you go to your father to
save you, right and he doesn't.

Speaker 3 (48:13):
That's another type of trauma.

Speaker 1 (48:15):
So then I remember distinctly, like my mom was coming
down the stairs in the living room. She was going
to the hospital again. I was older at this point.
I was probably my memory sucks with some of the stuff,
and I was probably I was in college, so I
was anywhere else from eighteen at twenty one, and uh,

(48:35):
you know, obviously I acted up about what was going on.
And my mom's coming down the stairs with her little
bag to go to the hospital again, and she's just
looking me in the.

Speaker 4 (48:45):
Eye like a devil, and she goes, great, you don't
have to worry.

Speaker 1 (48:52):
About me anymore, like mommy dearest, screaming, you won't have
to worry about me.

Speaker 3 (48:59):
Any my mother's favorite movie. Huh yeah, my mother's favorite movie.

Speaker 1 (49:04):
Oh no, well I joked about that, but when I
saw Mommy dearis I was literally triggered. That's literally a documentary.
It's a document it's not a it's not a Hollywood movie.
For a lot of us, it's a fucking documentary.

Speaker 4 (49:17):
So that would be but the running I'm not joking,
Like when by the way. So, I haven't spoken to
my mother in three four years. But back in the day,
the running joke was for every birthday I would get
a Mommy Daris birthday card and no, it was like
Bobby Daris with the coat hanger. She always had one,

(49:37):
like she ordered them. Let me say this, hold on quick.
We were literally so we have a lot in common.
I haven't spoken to my mother in three four years.

Speaker 3 (49:48):
You and I literally.

Speaker 4 (49:50):
Last week doing the live stream a geft parts said,
you know, b you said, I haven't spoke to my
mother in seven years, and I said, I haven't spoken
to my mother in four years. My mother's in her
late eighties, she may even be in the early nineties now.
And I said, gee, I don't even know if my
mother's alive or that anymore, but I probably would feel it, right.

(50:12):
And then you said, well, I think my mother's alive
because someone would notify me.

Speaker 3 (50:18):
And then a few days later your mother passed away.

Speaker 1 (50:21):
I know. Yeah, we were having that exact Cara.

Speaker 3 (50:23):
We literally haven't talking about it.

Speaker 4 (50:25):
Yeah, so hold on, did you sense anything on November
twenty second? Honestly, was it like if you go back
to November twenty second, when your mother passed away. Did
you have any inclination? Do you like, hey, something seems weird?

Speaker 1 (50:41):
No, because I you know, I was in What day
was that? Uh Saturday? Right? I was no. Man. You know,
me and my wife are celebrating our anniversary. We were very,
very happy. It was casual but cool. I had the
idea because now my kids are older, I had the
idea of eating at the restaurant where me and my

(51:01):
wife had our first date, which was literally the day
the day before I was restarting my radio career, was
the day before I had my first show at Serious Acce.
And we went to this little local restaurant and.

Speaker 3 (51:16):
What in the Upper West Side.

Speaker 1 (51:19):
Yeah, yeah, close to here. So we had an awesome dinner.
Everything was just nice nice.

Speaker 4 (51:26):
So yeah, because you know me the star war saying,
you know, like Obi wan Kenobi, I feel a disturbance
in the fool us.

Speaker 3 (51:35):
I truly believe I would send something I do.

Speaker 1 (51:40):
I knew she was coming. I mean, I think this
is good because you know, my mom's issues made me
look into like my issues and stuff, and I started
therapy around the time I met my wife because I
didn't want to the one thing you learned is h

(52:00):
And I have said this over the years jokingly, but
I truly, truly, truly mean this, and I want to
say this today. If you if you have kids, inevitably
you're gonna mess them up, hopefully not too bad. And
what all you want to do as a father is
mess them up in new ways. That's I think that's

(52:23):
the best you could hope for when you're raising kids.
Am I trying to mess them up? Of course? Not.
Am I providing for them? Yes? Am I am I
there for them all of that, But knowing the triggers
that my mom did to me and my siblings, I
am very focused not to do the same shit. And

(52:45):
I think that's important because you got to break You
got to try the best you can to break the cycle.
My mom actually actually try to break the cycle because,
like we said we were talking about recently, her mom
was a complete her bom was way worse than my mom.
And my mom recognized that and knew I gotta cut
her out. My old mom cut her, her mom out

(53:09):
of her life.

Speaker 4 (53:10):
Let me ask you this, At some point before you
had children, were you, like, were you actually concerned that
you would be abusive to your children?

Speaker 3 (53:19):
The way your mother was to you never thought that.

Speaker 1 (53:22):
No, but I but I had, like, uh, you know,
I had a way of communicating where I yelled and
screamed a lot. I don't I don't do that, I
mean at all at all anymore, very rarely. I was
even joking with my daughter on the way home from
school yesterday because she she feels bad, she goes dad.
I just didn't know your mom. I'm like, I know
I did that that I did that for for for

(53:46):
the sake of our family.

Speaker 3 (53:47):
What about on.

Speaker 4 (53:48):
The other side, do your children have a relationship with
their grandmother and grandfather on her life.

Speaker 1 (53:53):
They have a very similar upbringing as I did, Like,
you know, one side of the family they don't know
that much unfortunately, and then the other side. You know,
there it's all in you know, uh, very very very close.
And that's pretty much how I was brought up. I
didn't know anything about my mom's side of the family
very little, and my dad's side of the family extremely close.

(54:14):
I got so many cousins that are almost like brothers
and sisters to me. We were that close.

Speaker 4 (54:18):
Oh but you know what I'm thinking now, I hope
it's not true, because we talked.

Speaker 3 (54:21):
We talked about it last week. We both don't talk.

Speaker 4 (54:25):
To our mothers. Both our mothers are Polish. I believe
my mother may actually be eighty nine or ninety, Right,
is my mother going out? Because like that's what I'm thinking, like,
oh shack.

Speaker 1 (54:39):
And then there's people that are like, you know, life's
too short. Life people would always say to me, and
they meant, well, life is too short, go see your mother.
And I don't think those people fully understand like some
of these tough decisions that I'm not the only one
that had to make a tough decision like this. I
know I'm talking to people, I'm talking their language today.

(55:00):
You know, to cut someone out of your life, like
your mom, a sister, a brother, like that's fucking pretty intense.
I didn't take that lightly. You know. The fact is
the reason why I'm not having major breakdowns over the
death of my mom is that I mourned her passing
it many years ago. It's final it's finalized on November

(55:23):
twenty second. But I had to say goodbye to her
a long fucking time ago. Bro, when I exhausted everything
I could possibly do for her.

Speaker 3 (55:33):
I had to let go.

Speaker 4 (55:35):
It takes a healthy person to walk away from a
destructive relationship, because it's called self care. You need to
step away from that so you can actually be a healthy,
productive human being.

Speaker 3 (55:52):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (55:53):
By the way, people say to me, Ron, are you serious?
You haven't spoke your mother in four years? What do
you fucking like to? Too short? Go reach out Tom
out of the noile before you regret it, before it's
too late. I'm like, you don't get it. Calling her
would be the regret, because God, it's pure saying that.
It's pure toxicity. You don't get saying that, and we

(56:14):
don't get it. It's harmful for both of us.

Speaker 1 (56:17):
Bron. We're kind of similar, man, because when people say
life is too short to I get so mad. And
I'll tell you why. The reason I do certain things
is because life is too short.

Speaker 3 (56:30):
Is too short?

Speaker 1 (56:31):
Is the reason why I had to cut my mom
off literally seven years ago. It was because life is
too short. There's other things about getting into why don't
you do this?

Speaker 3 (56:41):
Op?

Speaker 1 (56:42):
Do that? Open? And my answer always and they always
say life is too short? Why aren't you blank? And
I'm not bringing up people from my past right now
because it's not about that. But I will always write
them back and say that's the reason why I don't
do it.

Speaker 3 (56:56):
It takes a strong person to.

Speaker 4 (57:00):
Walk away from a loved one who's who's abusive, because otherwise,
if you don't walk away from that person, you become
codependent and they will suck and drain your life force
and you won't be able to continue on your life's journey.
So it is a very brave thing to do, and

(57:23):
you have to do it because life is short.

Speaker 3 (57:26):
Because life is short.

Speaker 1 (57:27):
Dude, Can you put on a red wig dress, a
little sexy, put on a little makeup because you you
sound exactly like my therapist.

Speaker 4 (57:40):
Oh, your therapist is a Jewish woman. Really, that's what
That's what your therapist says to you.

Speaker 1 (57:47):
I had that exact rap, exact exact rap, and and
she's spot on. You know, you know, there's there's reasons.
My mom is the reason that I God, thank God,
I don't do this anymore. My mom is the reason
why I surrounded myself with very toxic people. There's a

(58:10):
reason because I learned uh through therapy, And actually my
wife gets a lot of this credit to I learned
that the reason why I surrounded myself with toxic people
was because that was my baseline growing up. My baseline.

Speaker 3 (58:24):
O huh, it's all you knew. It was your comfort zone,
It's my base.

Speaker 1 (58:30):
It was my baseline. I needed chaos around me to
feel something, to understand.

Speaker 4 (58:38):
Interesting, you need a chaos around you, and you became
a shock jock.

Speaker 1 (58:41):
Yeah, and you know, and I didn't even understand that
until I went through therapy. That was my baseline. I
made much better fucking decisions who I allow in my life,
thank God, thank God. But that's all I knew. That's
all I knew I had, You know, I do. I
try not to, Like I've said many times, I try
to not go through life with a with a lot

(59:03):
of regrets. But you know, there were they were really solid,
good people that I could have been friends with over
the years, good people, man, solid, and I blow them
off because they were boring to me, Opie, because I
needed I needed crazy, Opie.

Speaker 3 (59:19):
How about this?

Speaker 4 (59:21):
How about how about something it's we're getting past seven.
How how about I don't want to end on a negative.
I want to end on a positive. Give me a
beautiful Thanksgiving memory with your mother. There has to be one.
There has to, I mean, every Thanksgiving can't be a disaster.

Speaker 2 (59:40):
Come on, ah, wow, I'm trying.

Speaker 3 (59:47):
Are you telling me Thanksgiving with super strusted.

Speaker 1 (59:50):
You know the fact, it's really important to say that.
You know, my mom, uh raised us the best you could.
She gave us good, solid values, She provided for us
the best she could. She worked her ass off. Unfortunately
because of everything that makes it hard to remember that stuff.

(01:00:11):
But there was always a meal on the table. Thanksgiving
was always over the top, over the top. Thanksgiving was
actually a day that was a happy day in our
house hold.

Speaker 3 (01:00:22):
On See, your mother was a good cook.

Speaker 1 (01:00:24):
She was all right, yeah, I mean her skills kind
of fell off, but she had a meal on that
table every single night, every single night. And Thanksgiving was
a day I did look forward to. And we all
would go back home to our mom's house and we
knew that was a day that there was would be
no fucking turmoil for real none.

Speaker 3 (01:00:42):
So yeah, none.

Speaker 1 (01:00:45):
And then you know the other side of that is
then you would have the hope that, okay, this could
be the beginning of something, you know, you saw what
it could be, and then unfortunately, right around the corner
it would go back to go back to the craziness.
But my mom She had a great sense of humor.
She was a great storyteller. She made friends wherever she went.

(01:01:09):
She would laugh her ass off over Carol Burnett loved
Carober loved her maple walnut ice cream. We had to
get a gallon of ice cream for her and and another.

Speaker 3 (01:01:23):
Huh, that's so new England maple walnut ice cream. It's
fucking delicious.

Speaker 1 (01:01:27):
I actually like it because I had to learn to
like it because like one of the weird things in
my house, like when we went to Friendly's we did
Friendly's runs.

Speaker 3 (01:01:35):
Oh yeah, we had a.

Speaker 1 (01:01:37):
Half gallon of maple walnut for mom and then a
half gallon for the rest of us. So so obviously
we're going through our half gallon pretty quickly. So then
I learned to like maple walnut because you know, that
was the only ice cream left in the house. Yeah,
but you know, I think, uh, I think she's at peace.
I think I think she I think, well, I.

Speaker 3 (01:01:59):
Think, what do you mean, what do you say? I
think she was at piece.

Speaker 4 (01:02:04):
She's back, she's back in spirit, She's back where she
came from.

Speaker 3 (01:02:10):
This was just a theme.

Speaker 4 (01:02:14):
This, this was a theme she explored. And I know
this is weird. For me to say, you chose your mother,
you chose this experience for your benefit as well.

Speaker 1 (01:02:29):
I think, no, she is at peace. I mean this
life was very, very tough for her. She had an
insanely tough life, and I think she tried the best
to her abilities to try to figure it out. And
in the end, I don't think she ever fucking figured
it out. And uh, you know, rest in peace to
my mom. I mean that's that. That's that.

Speaker 3 (01:02:51):
So what about like does she have belongings? What happens
in all that stuff?

Speaker 4 (01:02:56):
Uh?

Speaker 1 (01:02:57):
Very few at this point, you know, I don't. I
don't even know if there would be anything that she
has that I would actually even want.

Speaker 3 (01:03:05):
Like, is there is there like a will you got
you got money coming?

Speaker 1 (01:03:09):
I don't know. I don't, I don't. I mean, God,
bless one of my brothers. He's he's been the point
man with that stuff for the lot of years, and
I know that was tough on him and stressful on him.
And uh, I don't know. I'll learn more. Uh you
want to you want a good memory?

Speaker 5 (01:03:24):
Yeah, go ahead, Okay, So, uh in my house when
you acted up and my mom, uh was mad at you,
right for for nonsense.

Speaker 1 (01:03:37):
By the way, you know, you're looking at seven kids
that that are are good, fucking solid people. There's there's nothing,
there's nothing majorly wrong with any of us. None. And
when when my mom would go at us, it was
for the dumbest, stupidest things. Dumb stupid. It wasn't like
he came home on drugs or got a girl pregnant

(01:04:00):
or none of this stuff. It was all just dumb nonsense.
That's why it's so infuriating to me. But when my mom,
when my mom, uh, didn't like you one of the
things she loved doing. And this is very awkward when
you're coming home from Geneseo with like your little college
girlfriend and you bring her into the house. And my

(01:04:20):
mom was on her best behavior when I brought my
college girlfriend home and I'm like, hey, you want to Oh,
we got some we got some photo albums. You get
to learn about me a little more. Let's go through
the photo albums. And you would go through the photo
albums like that, and she'd be like, Uh, why is

(01:04:42):
one of your brother's pictures cut out? We got we
got faces out of fucking family photos. People that she
you know, had a severe problem with you. Don't come
back from that. So the photo album would be filled
with pictures like what I don't want to mention names.
Where's why is his picture cut off? My mom had

(01:05:05):
a falling out with him, and this is how she
handles it. She cuts his face out of all the
family photos. Is that a good memory? Right?

Speaker 4 (01:05:16):
Is that?

Speaker 1 (01:05:17):
Is that a good memory? Is?

Speaker 3 (01:05:19):
Like your mother was scisit in her hands? It sounds
a little scary?

Speaker 1 (01:05:22):
Yeah? Yeah, Well I have one brother.

Speaker 3 (01:05:24):
I don't remember.

Speaker 4 (01:05:25):
I do remember you telling me a story about like
Christmas morning, Well you guys had to rush out or
something and get a card or Jesus.

Speaker 1 (01:05:35):
Well, I mean there's plenty of stories. Sure my mom
a card to my mom was everything. But we were
just irresponsible kids. So you know, there's it's like my son,
my son doesn't get us a card for everything, And
I'm like, I get it. You're fucking fifteen, Like I
get it, you know what I mean? But in my house,

(01:05:56):
if you didn't give my mom a card for let's
say Valentine's Day or whatever, she would yell AND's fucking scream,
yell and.

Speaker 3 (01:06:04):
Scream, where's my carpere my card? Right, Freddy?

Speaker 1 (01:06:09):
And then as kids, we would walk to the stationary store,
young kids. I don't think I was a teenager at
this point, maybe twelve, with tears in your eyes, to
go get mom's card from the stationary store. And then
you would walk home. The stationary store was a short
walk for us. And then we come back in the house. God,
and then we come back in the house with her

(01:06:31):
her Valentine's Day card and she'd be like, oh, what's
this and then all happy as she's reading her card
where we're signing it, like you're the greatest mom ever,
and you would you would still have tears in your eyes. Dude.
It was I can't sugarcoat it. It was. It was.
It was tough. It was a tough upbringing tough.

Speaker 4 (01:06:53):
The part I love is you're telling me part of
her screaming with her team would be, go fred Freddy.

Speaker 3 (01:07:03):
Freddy. Can you believe it?

Speaker 1 (01:07:05):
No, Kaddie, the screams for Freddy Freddy. Yeah, that's all
my dad wanted to do is watches his uh New
York knickerbockers. He just wanted to watch his goddamn basketball
game and oh, my god, rest in peace. Mom. All right,

(01:07:28):
I gotta go round.

Speaker 3 (01:07:31):
Missus Hughes or Hughes.

Speaker 4 (01:07:32):
No, it's Hughes. H your last name, Missus Hughes. You
have a very nice son.

Speaker 1 (01:07:41):
I try. I try to be better every day. Ron,
That's all you can do. You gotta, like, you know,
you gotta acknowledge where you come from. You gotta acknowledge
the possible possible issues you could have from your upbringing,
and you gotta do something about it. So the question,
the best I could do every day is just try
to be a little better every fucking day.

Speaker 3 (01:08:00):
That's a quick question, just to change the subject a
little bit.

Speaker 4 (01:08:04):
Yeah, did you get all your fucking Thanksgiving shopping done
in Long Island?

Speaker 3 (01:08:09):
And one shot?

Speaker 1 (01:08:10):
I did?

Speaker 4 (01:08:11):
It?

Speaker 3 (01:08:11):
Did?

Speaker 1 (01:08:12):
And you know that it was less than two hundred
dollars out there.

Speaker 3 (01:08:15):
I was gonna ask you how much it was under
and right, we have.

Speaker 1 (01:08:19):
Everything, okay, I mean the only thing I got to
get is pies.

Speaker 4 (01:08:23):
There's no way it would be under two hundred if
you chopped in the city.

Speaker 1 (01:08:26):
Dude, that would be I'm telling you it. It would
have to be at least three fifty over three.

Speaker 3 (01:08:32):
Yeah, yes, why, I don't think honestly, I don't.

Speaker 4 (01:08:37):
Think people realize how fucking expensive.

Speaker 3 (01:08:40):
Food is in New York City.

Speaker 1 (01:08:42):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:08:42):
By the way, you can't even buy a steak anymore.
Meat is up like twenty five percent. It's like forty
five dollars to buy like.

Speaker 3 (01:08:50):
A pork chop in the in the supermarket. Dude. Those
are restaurant prices exactly.

Speaker 1 (01:08:56):
Ron, thank you for getting me to do this today.
I wasn't gonna do this. Ron's like, you gotta do this.
I'm like, all right, I have.

Speaker 3 (01:09:04):
To do it.

Speaker 4 (01:09:05):
I mean I barely said two words. This was a
therapy session for you.

Speaker 1 (01:09:08):
I've been leaking, uh, leaking tears all morning, just leaking.
I'm not gonna break down and cry uh in front
of any.

Speaker 3 (01:09:16):
Of This was very therapeutic for you, very.

Speaker 1 (01:09:18):
I literally got just you know, my eyes are just leaking,
is the best way I could explain it. Ron. I
want you to have a good Thanksgiving. I know you're
gonna get out of us. I'm gonna have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Speaker 3 (01:09:30):
To be totally honest, you know what I kind of want,
but it's up to you.

Speaker 4 (01:09:35):
I would love to see like what your mother looked like,
sort of like in a prime like I assume she
was an attractive woman.

Speaker 3 (01:09:42):
Do you have a picture of your mother?

Speaker 1 (01:09:46):
Maybe?

Speaker 3 (01:09:47):
Do you like I assume I bet that she was
an attractive woman.

Speaker 4 (01:09:52):
Yeah when she Uh, it'd be nice to see what
your mother looked like.

Speaker 3 (01:09:55):
You know she.

Speaker 1 (01:09:57):
Uh, you know, she had a nice sparkle and she
smiled and.

Speaker 4 (01:10:01):
Well you told me she's Polish, so I know she
had great fucking skin, great cheekbones.

Speaker 1 (01:10:06):
She Uh No, she was definitely a good look at woman.
And uh, you know, I think the thing that was
so frustrating was like you you saw, you saw what
it could be with her, come on the potential. Like
every Christmas, like she she gave us an amazing Christmas.
It wasn't my dad, it was my mom. She gave
us an amazing here's a memory, ron, she gave us

(01:10:28):
an amazing Christmas. Like it was insane, and you would
think you would you would wonder to yourself, where the
fuck did they get this money? We had? We had
gifts piled up to the ceiling.

Speaker 4 (01:10:39):
Every when you're saying amaze the Christmas, you're talking about
the presence, like the amount of presents.

Speaker 1 (01:10:43):
The whole thing was like a well fought out and
you know, and then you you you learned only years
later that they would just max out credit cards to
an insane limit. My mom used to cut up credit
cards and put him in the wood burning stove so
she would stop fucking using them. I got, I got
a ton of stories, to be honest with you, I

(01:11:05):
don't even know which ones to tell. But she would
give us an amazing Christmas every year that they they
made sure is as special as possible. But then I
would find my mom a lot of Christmas is extremely
sad in the corner. She wouldn't do it in front
of us. You know, she had some awareness. At times
she'd be extremely sad, and that would go back to

(01:11:27):
her goddamn childhood.

Speaker 4 (01:11:30):
It's a shame o be like his modern medicine, like
your mother's condition is very caurable now it really is.

Speaker 1 (01:11:38):
Well, I think, uh yeah, I think uh, I think
they've gotten the medication in a better, you know, a
better place. But I could I could speak like, you know,
then you didn't even know how to to help her
because like she she definitely had the issues. And then
on top of that, she's now addicted to all sorts

(01:11:58):
of shit. Yeah, just through tranquilizes a suit.

Speaker 3 (01:12:01):
So I kind of can relate a little bit.

Speaker 4 (01:12:03):
So the narcissist my father's sister who took her life
her daughter, Tova.

Speaker 3 (01:12:09):
Where I'm going.

Speaker 4 (01:12:10):
To today, the stress of Tova's mother, my father's sister
living having an extreme narcissis as a mother. Tovah, the daughter,
ended up having a fucking massive nervous breakdown. It was
in a mental hospital for like a month and a half.

(01:12:32):
They found Tova sitting on the front yard, sitting Indian
style waiting for Sanna to come down from space. She's
Jewish for crisis, and she got diagnosed with bipolar schizophrenia.

Speaker 3 (01:12:50):
And I'm a very psychic person.

Speaker 4 (01:12:53):
I had such a strong feeling that that was the
mental stress of having a mother like that. So I
feel like your mother also had those similar conditions from
the stress of her upbringing in her mother. Oh yeah,
it broke my my cousin, it broke her and to

(01:13:16):
this day, if she's not on her medication, she'll hallucinate.

Speaker 3 (01:13:20):
And I know that from the stress of growing up
as a child.

Speaker 1 (01:13:23):
Yeah, I think I think my saving graces. I had
a plan and I acted on it. I remember going
to college. My parents actually would drive me to GENESEO.

Speaker 4 (01:13:35):
I have one question, like, so all your brothers and
sisters turned out like normal and healthy and successful.

Speaker 1 (01:13:43):
I mean, I wouldn't say like to say no, but I'm.

Speaker 4 (01:13:46):
Saying like that's also a compliment to your mother no to.

Speaker 1 (01:13:51):
Say we're I don't know, I don't know if anyone's
actually normal normal.

Speaker 4 (01:13:54):
No, I don't mean it like that, but like, you're
all productive.

Speaker 3 (01:13:57):
Human beings, aren't you.

Speaker 4 (01:13:58):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (01:14:00):
Are you adding issues to society?

Speaker 4 (01:14:03):
Huh, you're you're adding You're adding to society in a
positive way.

Speaker 3 (01:14:07):
Yeah, yeah, you good for your mother.

Speaker 1 (01:14:09):
I'm actually surprised that, uh, we we don't have major
like major ship, right. I think that I'll say that
we don't have major ship, yes, right. The reason that is,
but I could only speak for myself. My saving grace
was I knew this how I knew this upbringing was

(01:14:30):
tough and not right. I knew my only chance was
to just get out of the house as soon as
I can. I knew my dad was going to be
no help, because I think he was in it, in
it to win it. He didn't know what the fuck
to do. He was just trying to keep some kind
of stability in the house. So I knew I would
go to college. I knew that would be my foot

(01:14:50):
out the door. And even though coming back into this
environment was tough, I also knew that I was on
my way to doing my own thing. And I rememb
remember the day my parents were driving me to Genesee
for the first for my freshman year. I remember waking
up one of my brothers, if not both my brothers
I got. I got twin brothers that are six years

(01:15:12):
younger than me, and I remember saying goodbye to that.
And I wasn't saying goodbye to them like I was
saying goodbye to that like I knew like my life.

Speaker 4 (01:15:20):
I was saying goodbye, I'm going to college. I'll see
at break. You're like, see you, I'm done.

Speaker 1 (01:15:25):
Yeah, I'm out. I knew. I knew that day when
I got in the car and pulled away from my house.

Speaker 4 (01:15:30):
You're older than them that yeah they do, Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:15:33):
I don't know if they look at it this way,
but I knew I had to say goodbye, and not
just because I was going to college. Their older brother
was going to college. I was saying goodbye, like things
are going to be different from this day on, and
and certainly it wasn't a piece of cake. I was
always moving. I was always getting back into that situation.
One of the things when I I want to, Uh,

(01:15:54):
there's so much wrong, but I gotta go. When I
was when I was in Boston and we got the
big gig to move to New York, I remember being
at the tolls at the throgs Neck Bridge. I'm about
to have an amazing experience, Uh, you know, career opportunity
of a lifetime. I was going to be on WNW

(01:16:16):
in afternoons, like the radio guys dream of this, dream
of this. I was happy in Boston because I was
so far from my mom because the distance thing, and
back then it took a lot to keep in touch
with somebody. Long distance phone calls and stuff were not cheap,
so she couldn't call me on a regular basis. And
I remember I would hang up. Whether I was in Buffalo,

(01:16:38):
Rochester or Boston, I would hang up after one of
these phone calls. I'd be depressed for days. For days,
she had a trash everybody. It was like, why don't
we talk about anything? But and then when I was
at the tolls, I got really sad as I was
looking to the city at the city when now I'm
on the throgs Neck Bridge and you can see the

(01:16:59):
city to your right as you're going to Allen. Yeah,
I was sad because I'm like, holy shit, you're going
back into the Lion's dead. You're going back into the
Lion's dead. You're you're you're now too close to home again.

Speaker 4 (01:17:14):
Damn your mother, your mother, your mother really really uh
put a put.

Speaker 3 (01:17:22):
A spell on you, guys.

Speaker 1 (01:17:23):
Yeah, and then you know, and then I would have
this insane success, and I felt guilty that I was happy,
guilty because every time I had any uh phone call
or interaction with her, she was just literally miserable with
her life. And I would feel guilty that I was
I would be, you know, feeling happiness.

Speaker 4 (01:17:41):
By the way, that's exactly why you have to separate yourself,
because you have a conversation your mother and you're you're
it takes you two days to recover.

Speaker 3 (01:17:50):
If I reach out to my mother now.

Speaker 4 (01:17:52):
It would just be it wouldn't be a good conversation.

Speaker 3 (01:17:56):
Right.

Speaker 4 (01:17:57):
The last time I tried to reach out to my mother,
I said, uh, she was on guard.

Speaker 3 (01:18:04):
You didn't know what I was gonna do. She didn't
know if I going to yell at her. And I said, uh,
hey Ma, and she.

Speaker 4 (01:18:11):
Went yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:18:15):
And I said, hey, I sent you something in the mail.
It was any surprise. Did you get it? And she
went is it ticking?

Speaker 1 (01:18:25):
Did?

Speaker 4 (01:18:25):
I said to her, But I mean that's it. I
mean that's like, that's how my mother committed to me. Yeah, hey,
Ma said some of the mail. Did you get it?
Is it ticking?

Speaker 3 (01:18:34):
Like? There you go?

Speaker 1 (01:18:36):
There you go?

Speaker 3 (01:18:37):
All right? Ron anyways, I really yeah, dude, I have
to start getting ready.

Speaker 1 (01:18:40):
To Yeah, but I guess thanks for I don't know.

Speaker 3 (01:18:45):
Ophie, this was very first of all, this was this
was great and you needed this. Know it's funny you
needed this.

Speaker 1 (01:18:53):
I'll leave you with this. Uh My mom actually when
I got famous and she would hear some of the
stories on the show, you know that there's some wild
stories of bringing of my upbringing that I've told over
the years that are fucking hilarious to me and hilarious
to my siblings. That's how we dealt with this. We
dealt with a lot of stuff through Huber if you

(01:19:14):
want to know the truth, and some of these stories
are fucking hilarious. My mom begged me most of most
of the time I was famous. I'm not famous anymore,
but during the time I was famous to not write
the book until she died, because people are like, why
haven't you written the book? And I'm like, I can't

(01:19:36):
write the book without really dipping into this fucking heavy shit.
And my mom had enough awareness to go, don't write
the book until I die.

Speaker 3 (01:19:47):
Rimon and Shusta, are you listening.

Speaker 1 (01:19:50):
Yeah, yeah, when people are Salah, when people are just
aiing books now, mommy.

Speaker 3 (01:19:58):
Daris real version.

Speaker 1 (01:20:01):
All right, Ron, I have a good buss a right dope.

Speaker 3 (01:20:04):
Once again, I am I. I'm sorry for your loss.

Speaker 4 (01:20:08):
Yes, your mother truly is at peace now and you're
at peace, which is even more endpoint.

Speaker 1 (01:20:15):
Yeah, I think, I am. I think there's like, even
though I you know, didn't see her for the last
seven years, it was always like.

Speaker 4 (01:20:23):
And you know what I would do just as very
healthy on Thanksgiving Day at the table when everyone's eating,
toast your mother.

Speaker 3 (01:20:34):
Mom, thank you, thank you for raising us, thank you.

Speaker 4 (01:20:37):
You know we there's there's still positive toast your mother
on Thanksgiving Day, give her a nice send off.

Speaker 1 (01:20:43):
I like that.

Speaker 3 (01:20:43):
Ron.

Speaker 4 (01:20:44):
All right, Ron, I gotta go all right, everybody, happy Thanksgiving.

Speaker 1 (01:20:47):
I say this, you know, I do thank my mom today.
I do, think absolutely. I do thank her absolutely, and
and that's it.

Speaker 4 (01:20:58):
She he brought you into this world, so thank her.

Speaker 3 (01:21:02):
She taught you value.

Speaker 1 (01:21:04):
She wanted me.

Speaker 3 (01:21:05):
I was first, and.

Speaker 4 (01:21:07):
She talked you valuable lessons by showing you the dark side.

Speaker 3 (01:21:11):
That's true.

Speaker 1 (01:21:12):
There you go.

Speaker 3 (01:21:13):
All right, bye everybody, by Ron, thank you happy.

Speaker 1 (01:21:19):
All right, guys, I'm gonna I'm definitely taking a few
days off. I'm taking a few days off. I'll see
you guys soon. I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving
and we'll we'll talk soon. Rest in peace to to mommy.

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