July 9, 2025 • 51 mins
What happens when secrets protected for survival become the very chains that imprison us? Cecilia McCaw knows this journey intimately. Smuggled into the United States as a child and living undocumented for years, she guarded family secrets out of necessity. But even after gaining legal status, those secrets morphed into shame-filled barriers that prevented authentic connection and perpetuated lies about her worth.
"Knowledge is plentiful, but wisdom is scarce," Cecilia shares, highlighting how divine wisdom transcends formal education. Despite struggling with illiteracy due to language barriers, she found herself speaking truth to doctoral graduates—a testament to wisdom's power over mere information. This distinction forms the foundation of her message about identity: understanding whose we are determines who we are.
The conversation takes us deep into the battlefield of the mind, where childhood experiences plant seeds that shape our adult identity. Cecilia vulnerably unpacks how moving experiences from "secret files" to "private files" broke the enemy's power in her life. By sharing authentically with discernment, she discovered freedom from the "not enough" lies that once defined her. Her practical approach to healing—comparing it to peeling an onion one layer at a time—offers hope to anyone wrestling with past trauma.
Perhaps most compelling is Cecilia's candid admission about comparison. From swimsuit insecurities to ministry effectiveness, she reveals how comparison steals joy and invites destructive thoughts. Her remedy? Recognizing our unique design in God's tapestry, where each person has a specific purpose—whether as a corner piece with straight edges or those quirky pieces with unusual shapes.
Ready to break free from secrets that no longer serve you? Cecilia's story proves that vulnerability becomes our superpower when surrendered to God's purposes. Share this episode with someone struggling to embrace their true identity—because authentic connection begins when we stop hiding and start healing.
Buy Cecilia’s book… https://a.co/d/fW13LHg
https://youtu.be/UoTmKr6vr7g?si=WhNpdCoJmo-O38q_
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Nancy Bruscher (00:01):
I'm so glad you're here.
I'm Nancy Brusher and I'm yourhost for Ordinary People
Extraordinary Things, where youget real hope, real stories from
everyday people just like you.
Today we have Cecilia McCaw andit's a jam-packed episode.
If you listen to podcasts on ahigher speed, like I do, you
(00:22):
might want to slow this one downor listen to it twice.
You may have noticed that thispodcast is coming out on a
Wednesday and not Sunday, likewe always do.
We made a quick, unexpected tripto Iowa to attend my aunt's
funeral.
Though funerals are never fun,I do like the reflection time
that it gives me.
What I thought about was how weoften don't take the time to
(00:45):
send those little texts lettingpeople know that we're thinking
of them or to encourage them.
We think we might be too busy.
Side note, if you haven'tlistened to the last podcast
called Crazy Busy, let's talkabout what really matters with
Muffy Cruise.
I'd encourage you to listen tothat one To be reminded that
(01:06):
we're not too busy to send atext or a message or make a
phone call Letting people knowthat we're thinking of them,
praying for them and encouragingthem in what they're doing.
The funeral also reminded mehow important our pictures are,
and having them labeled andhaving them categorized so that
when things come up we can findthem and use them.
(01:26):
Now I know that we think we'reall too busy to do something so
mundane like go through ourfamily photos, but do it now.
If you need help, reach out tome at generations2generationscom
.
Generations is plural and twois T-O.
Now let's get started withCecilia.
Welcome to ordinary people.
(01:47):
Extraordinary things.
I'm so glad that you've joinedus and I'm so glad that Cecilia
has joined us on the podcasttoday.
So happy to be here, andCecilia has written a book.
I'm fighting for an identityand so we're gonna be chatting
this book, but if people don'tknow who you are, could you give
three words or phrases todescribe yourself?
Cecilia McGaw (02:10):
Okay, I am, first of all, a daughter of the Most
High King, and that is and I ama citizen of heaven, husband and
a mother to two of my naturalbiological children and two
(02:31):
inherited children that I wasblessed with when I married my
husband, and I am a warrior inGod's army.
Nancy Bruscher (02:38):
That's good.
I hear your identity alreadycoming out, and that's what
we're going to talk about.
Identity already coming out,and that's what we're we're
going to talk about.
First of all, I did want toshare my favorite quote that I
think I have so out of your book.
It says in today's world ofabundant information, knowledge
is plentiful, but wisdom isscarce.
Cecilia McGaw (03:16):
Yes, to me that means so much Because, as you do
read through my story, I wasilliterate for many years of my
life, not because of lack ofintelligence or ability to
retain information, but becausethere was a language barrier
smuggled into the country, so myprimary language was Spanish,
and so, when I went into theschool system and everything was
in English, spanish wasn'tembraced at the time, or
multi-lingual students were notembraced at the time I didn't
(03:38):
understand the language right,and so I didn't feel like I had
this knowledge.
And so I say that, becausewisdom is divine and wisdom is a
gift, it's not something thatcan be taught, it's something
that can only be heard by theheavenlies right, and oftentimes
when I go and speak atdifferent you know venues and
(03:58):
events.
Especially when I first started, I was very intimidated,
because I remember one of myvery first public speaking
events for the kingdom was at aTexas A&M, and it was for the
graduates that were graduatingwith their doctorate, and I
thought what the heck am I doinghere?
You know, like I have.
(04:20):
No, I've never been on acollege campus like ever, like
not to register, not to attend,and now here I am speaking at
one, and so it was veryintimidating and I remember that
the Lord showed up in a big waythat day and several of the
attendees that were there, youknow they were already graduates
, they have already hadaccomplished their bachelor's
(04:43):
and their master's and they wereworking on their doctorate.
And I remember this one womanwho came up to me and she said
to me, she said, where did youget all this information?
And I'm like, well, I mean,this is part of my story and I
these are the things that mylife lessons learned, you know.
And she's like, yeah, but wheredid you get the facts and the
(05:04):
information?
And I didn't understand thequestion because I'm like I'm
just sharing what I've learnedand I think that's a pivotal
point in my life when I saw thedifference between knowledge and
wisdom.
Because, again, it was veryintimidating being amongst these
women that were very, very welleducated, beautiful women, and
(05:30):
I was giving them information,that one they were able to
connect with, and I truly neverbelieved I had anything to offer
because of my lack ofexperience, especially with
education.
But that comes from the Lord andthat's why I'm saying, like,
this abundance of head knowledge, it's good, because we do, we
need it and when we connect, youknow, this head knowledge to
(05:53):
the wisdom that God brings intous, father.
It just becomes like thisdynamic, powerful message, and
wisdom is everything you know inKing Solomon, like when the
Lord asked him, like what do youwant?
He said I want wisdom.
He didn't want anything else.
And wisdom means that we'retuned in to the Holy Spirit when
(06:16):
he has to say to us and it'ssomething that no one other than
the Father from above can giveus, and so it's something that I
treasure and I cherish not onlythe wisdom that he's imparted
into me, but the wisdom thathe's imparted into other people,
and I've learned how to saylike I don't know and I'm
willing to receive, and that'syou know.
(06:36):
That's another story that'slayered kind of in my book.
But putting pride down andknowing that we all have room to
learn and to grow just fromtalking with each other and
sharing wisdom.
So wisdom is powerful, yeah.
Nancy Bruscher (06:54):
And your story of fighting for your identity
has to do with your childhoodand, like you said, being
smuggled from Mexico to theUnited States.
It sounds like several timesthroughout your life.
Now some people who listenmight be able to resonate with
that.
Many people probably cannot whoare listening, but the idea of
(07:16):
identity, I think, is no matteryour childhood, no matter your
upbringing.
I think we all have this.
I don't know problem or this.
Yes, you know like and yourreal identity is hard right.
Cecilia McGaw (07:32):
Absolutely, and so that's one of the things is
that we do.
We all have a different story,we all had a different
upbringing, and this is whereyou know, going back to that
wisdom, it's not.
I am not a therapist, I'm not apsychologist or a counselor of
any sort.
I've never been to college, butI have learned this and I
remember, in writing this book,I was like Lord, I am willing to
(07:56):
share my story, I am willing tobe vulnerable for the sake of
somebody else's gain, but I needyou to be in it and I need you.
I need your name to beglorified and I wanted to know
that it is going to extend yourkingdom.
And so, in praying that, itkind of came to me that it's in
our childhood.
(08:17):
Our childhood are the mostformative years of our life, and
this is when we're shaped byour surroundings, by our
community, by our parents, byour friends, by our teachers,
and the things that get said tous or not said to us are the
things that shape us.
And the thing is, is that theenemy, the enemy being the devil
(08:39):
?
And I always want to be veryclear about who the enemy is.
If the devil can rob us in theinnocence of our childhood, then
he has a better opportunity ora better shot at robbing,
killing and destroying thefuture that God has for us.
And when I say if he can rob us, rob us up here, because this
(09:01):
is the battlefield.
If he can plant seeds of liesinto us in our childhood that
say you know, you're not smartenough, you're not pretty enough
, you're really not wanted, whatyou have to say is not
important, and plant these seedsof insecurity and lack of
self-worth and envy and all ofthese things, then those seeds
(09:26):
that take root, the ones thatkind of really resonate with us
and for me it was many.
The biggest seed that I had tokind of allow God to come and
uproot out of my life was thenot enough and not enough of
everything.
Not enough, fill in the blank,not pretty enough, not smart
(09:46):
enough, not anything enough.
So if he, when he sees thattake root as we go into our
adolescent and into ouradulthood, he continues to feed
into that with every timethere's a failure or there's a
disappointment, and he'll comeand when that disappointment
happened he'll come and say youknow, they cheated on you
(10:10):
because you were not prettyenough.
You got passed up because youwere not smart enough.
You know you didn't get pickedbecause you weren't skinny
enough.
You didn't.
You know they didn't invite youto the team because you're not
fast enough.
And he just continues to feedthat and, before we know it, we
(10:34):
go into our adulthood with thisfilter of not enough and that's
how the enemy keeps us captive.
So, even though maybe somebodyhas had a different experience
than I've had and not everybodygets smuggled in, you know but
we've all experienced Insecurity, anger, envy, pridefulness,
(10:54):
maybe on different levels, right, because it depends what, what
is took the deepest root.
But but we all can identify onthat level.
And this is where we can allcome together, link shields with
each other and help each other,remind each other who we are in
Christ, whose we are.
And in John it tells us, like,when we say yes to the Lord, no
(11:19):
one, he says, no one can snatchyou out of my father's hand.
And so we need to comealongside each other and remind
each other, not because we havea common childhood or because we
have a common trauma or acommon experience, but because
we have the Holy Spirit insideof us and that is our common
(11:41):
ground and that is what bringsus together and we know what
it's like to feel alone, to feeldisappointed, to feel depressed
.
And it is those things that wecan come alongside each other
and encourage each other,lifting up the body of Christ
and edifying each other, becausewe're all going to forget who
(12:01):
we are.
If we didn't, then the Biblewouldn't tell us so much over
and over.
You are a child of God, youknow.
You are a royal priesthood, youare a treasure, you are the
apple of my eye.
I mean, if you go through theBible, you just it's constantly
telling us who we are.
Why?
Because God knew that we weregoing to struggle with our
identity, and the enemy.
If he can attack our identityand our character, then I mean
(12:26):
he's got, he's got his footholdand he's got his hoof in.
We need each other.
And I mean I can go on and on,because I'm very passionate
about this.
If I have your permission, I'dlove to talk about the
difference between secrecy andprivacy.
Because do I?
Yeah, okay, so there's adifference between secrecy and
(12:48):
privacy.
And for a long time and as youread through my book, you'll
know there were so many secretsin my family and so many secrets
that I was asked to keep as achild, because we were living
undocumented, and so I wasprotecting those secrets because
of this fear of deportation.
(13:09):
But as I went into my adulthood, and now I have my green card,
I still continue to protect allof those secrets, but for
different reasons.
I protected those secretsbecause I didn't want to be
judged.
I didn't want to be judged, Ididn't want to be.
I didn't want to be rejected byothers.
I didn't want others to thinkthat I'm a fraud.
(13:31):
I didn't you know like I was.
I thought if I protect thesesecrets, then I'm protecting
myself.
But, nancy, what was trulyhappening is that I was
protecting the enemy.
I was protecting all of hissecret hiding places that he had
in my mind.
And so long as I protectedthese things, then I was
(13:52):
protecting him because he couldcome and he could taunt me and
torture me in those spaces andhe would come and tell me things
like well, of course they likeyou, but it's because they think
you had, you know, these greatexperiences or, of course,
they've accepted you.
It's because they think you had, you know these great
experiences or, of course,they've accepted you.
It's because they don't knowthat you were a wetback for a
long time.
Oh, of course they think you'resmart because they don't know
(14:12):
that you didn't go to college,all of it, I mean.
And so I was protecting him.
But the moment that I began, Ibegan to speak and start just
being very transparent andauthentic with who I am.
And that could only happenbecause I had confidence in who
I was, because I learned whose Iwas.
And once I learned to valuethat, then I knew nobody can
(14:33):
held me captive.
And if I started beingtransparent and speaking
authentically, and when I didthat, the enemy no longer had
space to come and taunt me inthat area.
Because when things happen,here's the thing I'm gonna mess
up.
I promise you I will mess up.
I will mess up before this dayis over, but that's okay.
(14:57):
My value and my worth and myidentity is not based on that
disappointment or the thing thatI did wrong.
It's based on the Father.
It's based on the God whocreated the heavens and earth.
That has called me his and hasgiven me an identity through the
blood of Jesus Christ.
That to that poor girl, but God, and God has already called me
(15:31):
his.
So so privacy is a space whereyou expose the lie.
Okay, using discernment.
In my book I pretty much justkind of put it all out there as
far as my childhood.
But but when we, when wetransfer that file from a secret
file to a privacy file, itchanges, because what happens at
(15:52):
that point is using discernmentand discernment meaning knowing
when to share it and who toshare it with, being sensitive
to the Holy Spirit.
So the Holy Spirit will sayshare about you know the
molestation, okay, and then Ispeak on it and I pull out that
private file.
It's no longer a secret filebut it's a private file.
(16:14):
Or maybe I'm speaking tosomebody and I, because I you
know, when you're a kid and andyou're playing with other kids
and you're like, I know you are,but what am I?
Well, it takes one to know one.
That's the one that I was goingfor.
Sometimes I confuse it becauseI think in Spanish and I speak
in English and you know it allgets confused.
(16:34):
I'm like Buzz Lightyear, butokay, so it takes one to know
one.
That statement cannot be sotrue, because when I am talking
with someone and I can, I knowwhat the indicators are and I
could see myself in that then Iwill speak up and I will say you
know, we were undocumented fora long time and they're like
(16:56):
really, I'm like, yeah, and nowthey're interested.
Now they're like, okay, well,tell me, how did you guys like,
what did you do?
And so I start sharing on that.
Or if I'm sensing that therewas maybe a betrayal or an
infidelity, I'll say I was onceunfaithful as well and I bring
(17:16):
that.
But that's the Holy Spirittelling me speak, take out that
private file that doesn't needto be shared with everybody all
the time and be willing to talkabout it.
My son believes.
He's an atheist for a long time.
Now I think he's transferredinto agnostic.
So my son believes he's anatheist for a long time.
(17:38):
Again, when I hear that mama'shurt and that voice and the Lord
tells me pull out the file, Ipull out that file and it's no
longer a secret.
See, because all of thesethings infidelity, an adult, a
strange child, um,undocumentation all of these
things like have this shame thatcome alongside them, right, and
(18:03):
people don't want to talk aboutit.
They don't want to talk aboutit for the same reasons I didn't
want to talk about it Fear ofjudgment.
You know they don't want totalk about it because they're
going to be rejected or whatever.
But going in and pulling themout just displaces the enemy and
he has no place to hide.
There's nothing that he cantalk to you about.
(18:23):
There's almost nothing thatanybody can say about me that I
haven't already said myself.
And that is true freedom.
Because nobody can hold mehostage and I will not ever go
back into the yoke of slaverythat the enemy had me in hostage
and I will not ever go backinto the yoke of slavery that
(18:43):
the enemy had me in.
So I would rather speak truthand be authentic.
And there's something powerfulthat happens in that, because
when somebody is authentic andyou're having a conversation
with them and they are justbeing real, you know they're
being real.
You know when it's a surfaceconversation, you know when
they're they're laying it outand being real.
I have developed the deepest,most beautiful friendships
(19:04):
because of authenticity and withmany ages, from ages, you know,
like teenagers.
I talked to a lot of teenagers,all the way up to women in their
80s and that authenticity levelbreaks everything down and we
begin to develop true friendship.
And let me tell you one thingthat I know for a fact that the
(19:26):
Lord delights in is authenticrelationship, because we are
relational beings.
We were made by a relationalGod.
We are made in his image andthat is something beautiful that
he cherishes so much, so thathe tells us.
He says, before you bring yourgift up to the altar, you go to
(19:48):
your brother and sister that youknow things are not right with
and you make it up with them andyou seek reconciliation, and
then come and offer me your gift.
What does that tell you?
How much does he valuerelationship and friendship, and
(20:10):
what would it look like for us,as women, to champion other
women simply by being honest andauthentic, taking off the mask
and saying, hey, this is real,like it might look like this
from the outside, we might looklike an Ethan Allen commercial,
but it's not.
It's messy and it's a bunch ofonions and each layer of each
onion is a little stinky.
But that's okay, because I knowa God who makes all things
(20:35):
beautiful and gives us beautyfor ashes.
Nancy Bruscher (20:36):
That's so good, that's so interesting, cause I
did have on my notes, like youare so vulnerable in your book
and all things beautiful andgives us beauty for ashes.
That's so good, that's sointeresting, because I did have
on my notes, like you are sovulnerable in your book and is
it hard to be vulnerable?
And you just you just answeredthat as far as yes, but this is
why I do it.
And my next question is is thatwhat if people are listening
(20:56):
and they're saying, yes, I didhave a childhood that you know,
I know, has this baggage or thistrauma or stuff I'm working
through?
And you said it's such aformative time of your years.
What would you say to someonethat's like, okay, I don't know
if I can get past that, thenthere's so many things that I'd
need to work through.
Cecilia McGaw (21:17):
Right.
Well, I mean, and we all do.
And here's the thing is thatour God is gentle, right, when
we look at Galatians and helists the fruits of the spirit,
one of the fruits is gentleness,and that is a fruit that the
Holy Spirit has, so he's notgoing to come and just boom,
expose it.
When you see, when you readwhat you're reading in the book,
(21:38):
this wasn't an overnightprocess.
This is something that tookyears and time, and each time,
each time that a layer of this,let's call it the onion I'm just
feeling like an onion today.
So each time one of theselayers of onion is peeled, then
(21:59):
you know it's time for the nextone, and so you just take it one
step at a time, one bite at atime, and it's also important to
know and recognize which fruit,which layer of that onion is
ripe to be healed and to betransformed and to be renewed,
(22:21):
because we can't go and forceourselves to something that has
not yet been processed.
In James, it tells us I want tosay it's James 6, it says you
can't heal a wound by saying itisn't there.
So the very first step, ifwe're in denial, we're like well
, that didn't bother me, thatwas a long time ago.
It doesn't hurt.
Well, if it didn't, then whydoes it keep coming up up here?
(22:42):
Or why does it keep coming outof here?
If it keeps coming out of hereor it keeps popping up in here
each time, well, let me tell you, it's holding you hostage, and
sometimes we just don't knowright.
And so so we have to know whichfruit is ripe, because a fruit
that is ripe to bring to thealtar and say, okay, lord, I'm
(23:13):
ready to face this piece aboutmy mom, like, help me.
And sometimes we can't do italone.
I mean, we're not doing italone because we're doing it
with God, right, but we tangiblycannot do it alone.
We need to find people who arewilling to mentor us, people who
are going to be ourcheerleaders and our champions
and who are going to pray for usand who, you see, operating
alignment with the word of God,and we ask them to help us.
(23:34):
Many churches across the US andacross the world have programs
like Freedom Prayer, celebrateRecovery.
Celebrate Recovery was huge inmy healing and in my recovery,
because basically that's whatthey do, is we take one thing at
a time and we take an inventoryof our life and we say, okay,
here are the things thathappened and here is what
(23:56):
happened to me, here's what itcaused and here's my part in it.
So I take accountability forsanctified and all of us, even
(24:24):
myself.
I am still finding new levelsof healing.
I am still finding new areas inme where I do not look like
Christ.
There are still some parts ofmy past that still torture me
and taunt me, and that's okay,because I have a hope in a
living God who is bringing meout of that.
(24:45):
And so long as we're on thisside, we're gonna constantly be
renewed and sanctified, and it'sa process.
Extend yourself grace, like wehave a father who extends us
extravagant grace, like it isalmost reckless and abundant.
It is just so much.
We need to extend that samegrace to ourselves, and
(25:09):
sometimes it's hard to receiveit, and so we need to start
small.
So maybe it's not abouttackling, you know, the trauma
or the effects of a betrayal.
Maybe we just need to startwith like okay, lord, like,
teach me to be still, teach meto trust you with these things
(25:31):
and just help me.
Take it one day at a time andrise up.
Women around me, or men aroundme, if you're a man you know,
rise up these women around me,highlight them who they are,
that they are a safe place thatI can go, that I can trust will
lead me back to your word,because, ultimately, everything
(25:52):
has to be filtered through theword of God If it's going to
give us long lasting healing,long lasting freedom.
Everything else is going to betemporary.
Everything else on this side ofeternity, the well is going to
run dry.
The only abundant living waterthat we're going to constantly
be renewed by is the one thatcomes from the heavenlies, and I
(26:13):
know that's a lot and I justget a little passionate.
It might even sound a littlebit confusing, but that's the
best way I can answer that.
Nancy Bruscher (26:22):
Well, and if people get your book, which
we'll do a link in the shownotes.
But what I really like is, notonly is it your story because I
love stories, obviously that'swhat I'm doing is capturing
stories and I feel like they'rewhat makes us share about God
and just connects us inbeautiful ways.
But you have so much scripturein here, which I love.
(26:44):
But then you also have areflection time at the end of
every chapter and I feel likethis is so beautiful for someone
you know that might be goingthrough some things.
I think that you give such abeautiful way for someone to not
only hear your story, but theymight start going through their
own story as well.
Cecilia McGaw (27:04):
So this is really cool and this is.
I love that you kind of startedwith wisdom, like and you just
put that out there, because thisis definitely, this is
definitely wisdom.
I could not have written thisbook without the Holy Spirit in
me and without God guiding methrough it.
Again, when I wrote it, I waslike Lord, I want to make sure
that this is going to besomething that is honoring to
(27:26):
you.
I wanted to make sure that itis life giving and that it's not
just a story.
I want to make sure that it'sgoing to bring people to their
knees and draw them closer toyou.
So the strategy that he gave mefor this book and let me tell
you I am not this clever friend,so I know it's all him so he
gave me four sections for eachchapter and how I was to write
(27:50):
this book.
So what you're going to find ineach chapter is there's going
to be a core memory of mychildhood.
For example, chapter one isgetting smuggled in and it's
going to tell you like how I gotsmuggled in, like the things
that happened, what I wasfeeling, you know, at the
moments that I was beingsmuggled in, and it's going to
(28:11):
give you all of the details thatI never really thought were
important.
But people really like to know,like, like, what do you mean?
So, yeah, how many times didyou get smuggled?
And I got.
I was like a professionalsmuggler by the time I was seven
, you know, because I knewexactly how it was going to get
done.
So it gives you kind of all ofthe story.
But then the second section isthe entanglements.
(28:31):
This is where I can clearly goback to my childhood and almost
see the enemy dropping theseseeds of deception and he wanted
me to believe lies about myself, about other people and about
God and how I viewed them.
So it kind of takes you throughthe entanglements that started.
(28:54):
Then the third section is thetruth revealed, how God redeemed
, healed and restored that lieand how he replaced it with
truth.
And then the fourth section ofthe book is a reflection piece
for you, for the reader.
So it doesn't matter what yourchildhood was like or if it was
(29:16):
anything like mine, becausethey're very specific questions
to that part of your childhood,to just kind of go and help you
identify who were the peoplethat were in my ear, what were
the thoughts that were goingthrough my mind, what seeds did
get planted, what from this isstill tainting how I process,
(29:39):
how I perceive people, how Iperceive God, how I perceive
myself.
And so if you go through eachchapter and complete the
reflection piece, what you'llfind is that at the end of the
eight chapters, you'll be ableto clearly identify the pattern
and the continuous pitfalls ofthose lies that you believed.
(30:02):
And that's a really greatstarting point to kind of just
identify.
Okay, like what are some of thethings that I'm struggling with
?
I work with many women.
I'm in women's ministry and oneof the things that I do with
them is I mentor them throughwriting out their testimony,
because we come together for atestimony gathering once a month
and so as I hear their stories,I just kind of like write
(30:26):
little notes and I'm like didyou realize that you mentioned
this particular part of yourstory like six different times.
They're like did I?
I'm like, yeah, so let's goback to that.
And that's how we find thoselittle patterns.
And so I believe that again,very divinely, that is what God
gave me with.
This is like okay, now we'regoing to help others go through
(30:48):
that.
So if you go through each ofthe reflection pieces, you will
see a pattern and you will.
It'll give you a starting pointof like.
Okay, where am I stillbelieving some of these lies
about myself?
Nancy Bruscher (31:01):
Good.
Something else that reallypopped out to me in reading your
book is the comparison trap.
Isn't that something that Ithink, again, we can all
identify with is oh, it's sohard not to compare yourself
(31:23):
identify with is oh, it's sohard not to compare yourself.
Cecilia McGaw (31:25):
Yes, gosh, the comparison trap is something
that is a daily for me.
Sometimes it's something sosubtle and something so small,
and sometimes it's somethingreally big.
And the comparison trap istruly the thief of joy, because
when we begin to compareourselves to somebody else
whether we're comparingourselves or we're comparing our
families, our children, ourhusband to somebody else what
(31:49):
we're actually doing is we'realmost inviting the enemy, the
devil.
Again, I always want to beclear who the enemy is.
We're almost inviting him in tosay come and tell me lies about
my body.
We recently put a poll in,which is something I always
wanted for a long, long time.
And so we recently put a polland we've had a lot of friends
(32:11):
come over.
And you know, I'm in my 50s andI'm not no spring chicken,
right.
But I see some of my friendsand I'm like, wow, I really need
to start working out, you know,because I'm just like I don't
look like that in a swimsuit,you know, and that's OK to do,
that.
That's healthy, like if it'smotivating me.
(32:31):
And I did.
I actually signed up recentlyfor Hot Works.
That's a story for another day.
But so I'm like, ok, I probablyneed to get to the gym and
start doing something to honormy body.
And it stopped there.
But I will tell you, five yearsago, 10 years ago, it would not
have stopped there.
It would have been oh mygoodness, you're so fat.
Oh, it's because you have noself-control and, yeah, you eat
(32:55):
all this junk food and you'renever going to be fit and like
all these things.
And before you know it, itmight seem subtle and small and
insignificant, but after a whileour shoulders start to drop
down and we start, we startwalking around, you know, beaten
up, defeated, and sometimesit's bigger things, even in
(33:16):
ministry.
For those of you who are inministry, I'm speaking straight
to you.
I've been in ministry for a longtime and once upon a time I'd
go to a conference and you knowI speak at the conference and
then I'm like okay, well, thankyou, lord for using me to and
speaking through me.
And then the next speaker goesup and I'm like, oh my gosh, her
dialogue is amazing, hervocabulary.
(33:37):
You know, I don't speak.
It's because you're dumb, it'sbecause you didn't really learn
English, it's because you wereilliterate, like, and it all
comes back and, before I know it.
The joy that the Lord gave meand allowed me to delight and to
say do you see, cecilia, how wehave partnered up and your yes
is helping extend the kingdom,that joy that I felt for a
(33:57):
second is now deflated because Istarted comparing myself to the
next speaker or with my son.
He was estranged from me forseveral years and I would see
other families and I would seetheir son.
That was about my son's age andI'm like in admiration.
(34:18):
I'm like, wow, that's awesome,maybe I should have.
In admiration.
I'm like, wow, that's awesome,like I wish maybe I should have
done things different.
And then the enemy is like whoa, invitation, let's go.
Yeah, you were a bad mom.
Remember you did this.
Oh, it was probably the timethat you spanked him.
It was like, oh, like he'lljust come rushing in.
That comparison trap sometimescould be so subtle and so small
(34:40):
a little swimsuit, oh, I need tolose some weight to something
really big.
But all those tiny littlecomparisons will make us lose
our self-worth.
They'll make us think thatwe're not valuable.
We start judging ourselves andwe just start inviting the enemy
to come in and feed us junk.
(35:01):
And this is where we need to bewise enough.
That wisdom, oh my goodness,it's huge that we need to be
wise enough to come back and say, lord, here's how I'm feeling.
And when I talk to God, let metell you it sounds like a
conversation like you and I, andit'll sound something like Lord
(35:21):
.
I don't know why I am lettingthis trip me up.
I am so happy for my friend,kristen, who has these amazing
kids and, like he's a pastor,he's doing great things.
I'm happy for her.
Help me to find the joy in theway I parented and help me to
see the hope that I have in thethings that you're doing in my
(35:42):
child and how you are creatinghim in his own unique person and
how he will have his own divinepurpose.
Help me to be thankful in that.
And then the thoughts come.
You know why?
Because when my son comes tohis salvation point which I am
believing for, and I know thatthe Lord has promised him and
(36:03):
I'm not afraid to say it I amwaiting for the day and I hope
that it's when I'm still on thisside of eternity, because when
my son comes to know the Lord,his extension will be so much
greater than mine because hewill know how to speak to the
atheist community, to theagnostic community.
You put me in front of a bunchof atheists.
I don't even know where tostart or what to say, because
(36:24):
I've never experienced it.
But my son he has, and when hecomes into his full identity,
into his full glory of who Godcreated him to be, he is going
to have a voice and a reach thatI don't have.
And so, even though my son maylook different than somebody
else's son, that's okay, becausewe don't go by what we see by
(36:47):
sight, we go by what we know inour hearts of who our God is,
and he is the same yesterday,today and forever.
And obviously, you can see, I'mvery passionate about my faith
in the Lord and every questionseems to be a little sermon.
So I apologize for that, butthis is who my God is, and I
cannot tell you enough.
(37:08):
The world is not perfect.
My life is currently notperfect, it's never perfect, but
what makes it perfect is aperfect God who has his hand
upon it and guides every step ofthe way, and so, so long as I
stay in this posture ofsurrender, I know who is leading
me and that is what gives meconfidence.
(37:31):
So if you're in a place ofsaying, well, that's great for
you because you know it's going.
Well, no, it's not.
You know there's thingshappening, you know.
But God, god is still god andit's not a surprise to him, and
god's in control, and god's incontrol of who's in control, so
there's no excuse.
Nancy Bruscher (37:52):
Good, it's good.
I love how you shared in therethat the things that have been
difficult or the things thathave shaped us are also the
things that we can glorify Godwith and we can talk to people
in that way or meet people inthat way that I can't or you
can't Like you were talkingbefore.
(38:14):
We all get to work together.
We're all part of this body ofChrist and we can't do it alone
and we all have gifts anddifferent things that we get to
share.
Cecilia McGaw (38:23):
And we also have a voice like.
Our instrument is our, this isour mouthpiece, this is our
instrument, right, and all of ushave a different instrument and
it's tuned to a different setof ears.
So my voice might be the voicethat somebody needs to hear, but
your voice might be the voicethat reaches another set of ears
(38:44):
that my voice cannot.
And we're all part of thispuzzle and we all look a little
different.
And some of us, you knowpointing at myself some of us
are that like funky little piecethat you're like what part of
the puzzle is that?
Like it's got a funkiest littleshape, but it has a place in
the tapestry of God's kingdom.
(39:04):
And we have to be okay if we'rethat quirky little piece that
we are not sure where it goes,or if we're the corner piece
that seems to have some reallystraight edges, or we're that
really soft piece that maybelooks like a heart.
But we're all part of the samepuzzle and it's a beautiful
puzzle because it's the Lord'stapestry that's made up of each
(39:24):
and every one of us.
Nancy Bruscher (39:26):
Well, that's such a great reminder, going to
the comparison, that we don'tneed to compare ourselves to
somebody, because God's made usright in our identity to be a
certain person, to be a certainthing for his glory, for his
like.
When he talks about the body ofChrist he says not everybody
can be an eye or not everybodycan be a hand, like we all have
(39:47):
to do our part.
So if we're trying to compareourselves, like, oh, but I
really want to do what they'redoing, I really what?
Why can't I do that?
What?
And God's, god's like, but I'vemade you this way to do this,
and kind of like get in yourlife and do it Right.
Cecilia McGaw (40:02):
Yes, yes, yes, and I mean truly.
If we can learn to delight inhow he's created us and we can
learn to embrace how we weremade man, what a world it would
be.
But let me tell you that enemy,he never rests and every
morning he has a new way to tripme up.
He has a new way to trip you up, and that's why we always have
(40:25):
to be on guard and we alwayshave to have the word of God on
our hearts, because we're goingto need it to say uh-uh.
No, that is not true.
I am an excellent driver.
I just so happened to pass thatone stop sign, but praise God
that he spared me.
And look, I'm still on the roadand I'm still driving.
You know, and that's just asmall thought, but I don't know
why I went there, because Ipassed the stop sign early.
(40:46):
That's why.
Nancy Bruscher (40:50):
Well, I have loved this.
This has been so, so great.
I've enjoyed this time together.
I always like to end on thesethree questions what is your
favorite?
Cecilia McGaw (41:01):
Bible verse or story my favorite.
You know I have a favoriteverse that I feel like what I
want to.
The one that's kind of been onmy heart lately is Esther.
So I used to be Esther, not ina good way, I had esteritis.
So you know, when Esther wasalready in the king's palace and
(41:28):
she found out that Mordecai isjust like you know, he's upset.
You know they're going to killthe, you know the Israelites,
and like he's, like just he's ina frantic panic, right, and she
hears about him.
She doesn't know the details,but what she sends out to him
with one of her servants is shesends him some fresh, fresh
clothes, fresh clothes here.
(41:49):
Clean up, put this on it.
And that's the part that I usedto relate to the most.
I wanted to hurry up and coverit when something messy was in
my life.
Just hurry up, put somethingpretty on it.
Let's hurry up and clean it sothat it looks pretty from the
outside looking in, Right, andso that that's just not the way
(42:11):
it goes.
It's like you know what, lord,let me invite you to the messy,
let me invite you to mybrokenness, sometimes to the
point where I'm pulverized.
Because when I'm pulverized andI'm just this dust and there's
nothing left in me.
It's a hard place to be, butit's also a beautiful place to
be, because this is where theLord can pour out his holy and
(42:35):
start creating a new vessel witha new purpose and a new level
of gifting and a new level ofpouring out.
And so, yeah, so I try not togo back to having esteritis.
I do sometimes, and sometimes Ican recover okay.
And sometimes I can recoverokay and sometimes I can't.
(42:56):
And the days that I can't,god's extravagant grace is still
waiting for me and I can stillcome back and still give him
glory with that story and say,listen, I have failed too, and
and here's how God redeemed it,or here's how God restored it,
or here's how God saved me outof it, you know when I couldn't
find a way.
So that's probably my favoritestory.
(43:19):
I forgot what your secondquestion was.
Nancy Bruscher (43:21):
Oh no, my second .
That was so good.
I have never I've read Estherso many times and that portion
of it has never, ever like,really resonated me.
I just went right by it, right,and so that's so interesting.
I thank you.
I learned so much right there.
What are you grateful for?
Cecilia McGaw (43:43):
What am I grateful for?
I'm grateful for my everyday.
I'm grateful.
I'm grateful that I, that I amin this new place of confidence
in my, in my identity with who,who God is and what he is doing.
It just leaves me very, um,very interruptible um to
(44:07):
whatever he has for me.
I, I am walking in his will andevery day I'm very intentional
of surrendering my dayusts mewith being a representative of
Jesus.
I'm so thankful that he thinksthat I'm capable of delivering
(44:46):
his word, that I am capable ofdelivering this treasure.
You know, in 2 Corinthians 4, Ibelieve it's 2 Corinthians 4,
but it's not the first, it's notthe second, it's the first.
But Corinthians 4, I want to sayit's like 16.
It talks about how we are,these jars of clay, these jars
(45:06):
of clay that carry a treasureinside.
I love being a jar of clay,being a jar of clay, and I'm
okay with being broken, becausea broken jar can't hold the
beautiful treasures that holdinside.
It leaks out wherever it goesand it just leaves like little
(45:27):
little smudges and sometimesdrips and sometimes puddles.
But that's because the Lord isin me and I am this jar that
carries this treasure, the HolySpirit in me, and I hope that I
am the messiest jar of clay thatis so fragile, holding this
beautiful treasure inside that,wherever I go, lord, let me leak
(45:51):
, let me leave an imprint of whoyou are and what you've done in
me.
Wherever I go, whatever I speak, whatever I say, help me to
remember who I am, so that I'mable to represent you in a way
that is honoring and pleasing toyou, because I long to hear
(46:12):
well done, my good and faithfulservant, and that's all I want
that's uh.
Nancy Bruscher (46:21):
That last quote about well done my, my good and
faithful servant, was one of mygrandpa's favorites.
What kindness have you shown orwhat kindness have you received
in the last week?
Cecilia McGaw (46:33):
in the last week.
Oh my gosh, I've received somuch kindness, more than I
deserve, including this.
I published my book in January.
I haven't done a whole lot withit because I've been busy in
other areas of ministry lately.
We have a lot of differentthings going on.
As a matter of fact, we have aconference this weekend that I'm
(46:55):
speaking at, so there's alwayslike something happening and I
really haven't done much with mybook.
I haven't promoted it, Ihaven't done anything.
But then you show up, you knowLauren shows up and she's like
hey, you need to meet my friendNancy.
And and again, that's all God,that's all God's favor and God's
doing.
I have, you know, just peoplereaching out to me and again,
(47:21):
I've done nothing with the book.
So God's kindness is everywhereand that motivates me and
inspires me that I don't have topress or push my own agenda or
my own whatever, like God's,like I got you, like focus on me
and it just, it just shows trueand rings true to seek first
(47:46):
the kingdom of God and theneverything else will be added on
to you.
And the kindness comes fromeverywhere all the time.
And if I'm not feeling thekindness, if I really take a
pause and say okay, lord, showme.
The list of the things I amthankful for is endless.
(48:11):
So there's been a lot ofkindness shown to me, and my
hope is that I am showingkindness to others, yeah.
Nancy Bruscher (48:24):
Cecilia, I have loved our conversation, thank
you.
Thank you for being authentic,thank you for sharing your heart
for God and sharing your story,and I'm just so excited to see
how God is going to bless this.
Cecilia McGaw (48:40):
Thank you so much for reaching out, thank you for
being patient with me, and I'mlooking forward to see what God
has is going to do with all ofthis with you, you know, with me
, with every woman out therethat is saying, like what is my
purpose?
Like you don't have to worryabout the purpose, just stay
tuned to the heavenly and you'regoing to get step-by-step
(49:02):
instruction.
And I just pray that in thistime that our world seems so
divided and so broken that wewould wake up, that we would
rise up, that we would be bold,that we would be willing to open
our mouths and proclaim thetruth, even when it feels
uncomfortable or even when itfeels like an interruption in
(49:25):
our schedule.
That we would be willing torecognize the importance of
loving each other, ofencouraging each other, of
speaking hope and, mostimportantly, speaking our
message, speaking our testimony.
When we look at the Bible, theBible is a collection of books,
(49:45):
of people's stories.
Everybody in the Bible has atestimony and that's what the
Bible is.
It's their story and how Godredeemed and reconciled them and
how he restored them.
Like that's what the Bible is.
It's their story and how Godredeemed and reconciled them and
how he restored them Like.
That's what it is.
Our testimony is also a gospel.
It's telling our story of oursalvation, of what God has done.
(50:08):
And even if you don't know theBible, if you don't know the
scripture, you know.
Maybe you're sitting there nowand thinking like I don't know
the scripture by memory or Idon't know all the story.
I've never heard of esther.
Who the heck is esther and whydoes she have esteritis?
Don't even worry about that.
Like your, your gospel, yourtruth, is your story, and if you
(50:30):
have of this is who I was andthis is who I am then you have
something valuable to say andyou have a set of ears waiting
to hear it.
And so thank you for answeringto your calling.
Nancy, I'm glad that the Lordhas entrusted you with this
platform and I truly pray thatit is life-giving, that it
(50:58):
changes atmospheres in people'shearts and that it continues to
be anointed, moving forward toextend and strengthen the
kingdom of God.
Thank you for doing this.
Nancy Bruscher (51:09):
Thank you On Ordinary People, extraordinary
Things.
Your story is His glory.
What an episode with Cecilia.
I hope that this podcast hasinspired and made you want to do
more than just think about it,but to actually act.
If you found it helpful, pleaseshare this podcast right now
with someone you think could beencouraged by it.
(51:31):
We will be back in less thantwo weeks for the next brand new
episode of Ordinary People,extraordinary Things.
I'm so glad you're here.
I'm Nancy Brusher and I'm yourhost for Ordinary People
Extraordinary Things, where youget real hope, real stories from
everyday people just like you.
Today we have Cecilia McCaw andit's a jam-packed episode.
If you listen to podcasts on ahigher speed, like I do, you
(00:22):
might want to slow this one downor listen to it twice.
You may have noticed that thispodcast is coming out on a
Wednesday and not Sunday, likewe always do.
We made a quick, unexpected tripto Iowa to attend my aunt's
funeral.
Though funerals are never fun,I do like the reflection time
that it gives me.
What I thought about was how weoften don't take the time to
(00:45):
send those little texts lettingpeople know that we're thinking
of them or to encourage them.
We think we might be too busy.
Side note, if you haven'tlistened to the last podcast
called Crazy Busy, let's talkabout what really matters with
Muffy Cruise.
I'd encourage you to listen tothat one To be reminded that
(01:06):
we're not too busy to send atext or a message or make a
phone call Letting people knowthat we're thinking of them,
praying for them and encouragingthem in what they're doing.
The funeral also reminded mehow important our pictures are,
and having them labeled andhaving them categorized so that
when things come up we can findthem and use them.
(01:26):
Now I know that we think we'reall too busy to do something so
mundane like go through ourfamily photos, but do it now.
If you need help, reach out tome at generations2generationscom
.
Generations is plural and twois T-O.
Now let's get started withCecilia.
Welcome to ordinary people.
(01:47):
Extraordinary things.
I'm so glad that you've joinedus and I'm so glad that Cecilia
has joined us on the podcasttoday.
So happy to be here, andCecilia has written a book.
I'm fighting for an identityand so we're gonna be chatting
this book, but if people don'tknow who you are, could you give
three words or phrases todescribe yourself?
Cecilia McGaw (02:10):
Okay, I am, first of all, a daughter of the Most
High King, and that is and I ama citizen of heaven, husband and
a mother to two of my naturalbiological children and two
(02:31):
inherited children that I wasblessed with when I married my
husband, and I am a warrior inGod's army.
Nancy Bruscher (02:38):
That's good.
I hear your identity alreadycoming out, and that's what
we're going to talk about.
Identity already coming out,and that's what we're we're
going to talk about.
First of all, I did want toshare my favorite quote that I
think I have so out of your book.
It says in today's world ofabundant information, knowledge
is plentiful, but wisdom isscarce.
Cecilia McGaw (03:16):
Yes, to me that means so much Because, as you do
read through my story, I wasilliterate for many years of my
life, not because of lack ofintelligence or ability to
retain information, but becausethere was a language barrier
smuggled into the country, so myprimary language was Spanish,
and so, when I went into theschool system and everything was
in English, spanish wasn'tembraced at the time, or
multi-lingual students were notembraced at the time I didn't
(03:38):
understand the language right,and so I didn't feel like I had
this knowledge.
And so I say that, becausewisdom is divine and wisdom is a
gift, it's not something thatcan be taught, it's something
that can only be heard by theheavenlies right, and oftentimes
when I go and speak atdifferent you know venues and
(03:58):
events.
Especially when I first started, I was very intimidated,
because I remember one of myvery first public speaking
events for the kingdom was at aTexas A&M, and it was for the
graduates that were graduatingwith their doctorate, and I
thought what the heck am I doinghere?
You know, like I have.
(04:20):
No, I've never been on acollege campus like ever, like
not to register, not to attend,and now here I am speaking at
one, and so it was veryintimidating and I remember that
the Lord showed up in a big waythat day and several of the
attendees that were there, youknow they were already graduates
, they have already hadaccomplished their bachelor's
(04:43):
and their master's and they wereworking on their doctorate.
And I remember this one womanwho came up to me and she said
to me, she said, where did youget all this information?
And I'm like, well, I mean,this is part of my story and I
these are the things that mylife lessons learned, you know.
And she's like, yeah, but wheredid you get the facts and the
(05:04):
information?
And I didn't understand thequestion because I'm like I'm
just sharing what I've learnedand I think that's a pivotal
point in my life when I saw thedifference between knowledge and
wisdom.
Because, again, it was veryintimidating being amongst these
women that were very, very welleducated, beautiful women, and
(05:30):
I was giving them information,that one they were able to
connect with, and I truly neverbelieved I had anything to offer
because of my lack ofexperience, especially with
education.
But that comes from the Lord andthat's why I'm saying, like,
this abundance of head knowledge, it's good, because we do, we
need it and when we connect, youknow, this head knowledge to
(05:53):
the wisdom that God brings intous, father.
It just becomes like thisdynamic, powerful message, and
wisdom is everything you know inKing Solomon, like when the
Lord asked him, like what do youwant?
He said I want wisdom.
He didn't want anything else.
And wisdom means that we'retuned in to the Holy Spirit when
(06:16):
he has to say to us and it'ssomething that no one other than
the Father from above can giveus, and so it's something that I
treasure and I cherish not onlythe wisdom that he's imparted
into me, but the wisdom thathe's imparted into other people,
and I've learned how to saylike I don't know and I'm
willing to receive, and that'syou know.
(06:36):
That's another story that'slayered kind of in my book.
But putting pride down andknowing that we all have room to
learn and to grow just fromtalking with each other and
sharing wisdom.
So wisdom is powerful, yeah.
Nancy Bruscher (06:54):
And your story of fighting for your identity
has to do with your childhoodand, like you said, being
smuggled from Mexico to theUnited States.
It sounds like several timesthroughout your life.
Now some people who listenmight be able to resonate with
that.
Many people probably cannot whoare listening, but the idea of
(07:16):
identity, I think, is no matteryour childhood, no matter your
upbringing.
I think we all have this.
I don't know problem or this.
Yes, you know like and yourreal identity is hard right.
Cecilia McGaw (07:32):
Absolutely, and so that's one of the things is
that we do.
We all have a different story,we all had a different
upbringing, and this is whereyou know, going back to that
wisdom, it's not.
I am not a therapist, I'm not apsychologist or a counselor of
any sort.
I've never been to college, butI have learned this and I
remember, in writing this book,I was like Lord, I am willing to
(07:56):
share my story, I am willing tobe vulnerable for the sake of
somebody else's gain, but I needyou to be in it and I need you.
I need your name to beglorified and I wanted to know
that it is going to extend yourkingdom.
And so, in praying that, itkind of came to me that it's in
our childhood.
(08:17):
Our childhood are the mostformative years of our life, and
this is when we're shaped byour surroundings, by our
community, by our parents, byour friends, by our teachers,
and the things that get said tous or not said to us are the
things that shape us.
And the thing is, is that theenemy, the enemy being the devil
(08:39):
?
And I always want to be veryclear about who the enemy is.
If the devil can rob us in theinnocence of our childhood, then
he has a better opportunity ora better shot at robbing,
killing and destroying thefuture that God has for us.
And when I say if he can rob us, rob us up here, because this
(09:01):
is the battlefield.
If he can plant seeds of liesinto us in our childhood that
say you know, you're not smartenough, you're not pretty enough
, you're really not wanted, whatyou have to say is not
important, and plant these seedsof insecurity and lack of
self-worth and envy and all ofthese things, then those seeds
(09:26):
that take root, the ones thatkind of really resonate with us
and for me it was many.
The biggest seed that I had tokind of allow God to come and
uproot out of my life was thenot enough and not enough of
everything.
Not enough, fill in the blank,not pretty enough, not smart
(09:46):
enough, not anything enough.
So if he, when he sees thattake root as we go into our
adolescent and into ouradulthood, he continues to feed
into that with every timethere's a failure or there's a
disappointment, and he'll comeand when that disappointment
happened he'll come and say youknow, they cheated on you
(10:10):
because you were not prettyenough.
You got passed up because youwere not smart enough.
You know you didn't get pickedbecause you weren't skinny
enough.
You didn't.
You know they didn't invite youto the team because you're not
fast enough.
And he just continues to feedthat and, before we know it, we
(10:34):
go into our adulthood with thisfilter of not enough and that's
how the enemy keeps us captive.
So, even though maybe somebodyhas had a different experience
than I've had and not everybodygets smuggled in, you know but
we've all experienced Insecurity, anger, envy, pridefulness,
(10:54):
maybe on different levels, right, because it depends what, what
is took the deepest root.
But but we all can identify onthat level.
And this is where we can allcome together, link shields with
each other and help each other,remind each other who we are in
Christ, whose we are.
And in John it tells us, like,when we say yes to the Lord, no
(11:19):
one, he says, no one can snatchyou out of my father's hand.
And so we need to comealongside each other and remind
each other, not because we havea common childhood or because we
have a common trauma or acommon experience, but because
we have the Holy Spirit insideof us and that is our common
(11:41):
ground and that is what bringsus together and we know what
it's like to feel alone, to feeldisappointed, to feel depressed
.
And it is those things that wecan come alongside each other
and encourage each other,lifting up the body of Christ
and edifying each other, becausewe're all going to forget who
(12:01):
we are.
If we didn't, then the Biblewouldn't tell us so much over
and over.
You are a child of God, youknow.
You are a royal priesthood, youare a treasure, you are the
apple of my eye.
I mean, if you go through theBible, you just it's constantly
telling us who we are.
Why?
Because God knew that we weregoing to struggle with our
identity, and the enemy.
If he can attack our identityand our character, then I mean
(12:26):
he's got, he's got his footholdand he's got his hoof in.
We need each other.
And I mean I can go on and on,because I'm very passionate
about this.
If I have your permission, I'dlove to talk about the
difference between secrecy andprivacy.
Because do I?
Yeah, okay, so there's adifference between secrecy and
(12:48):
privacy.
And for a long time and as youread through my book, you'll
know there were so many secretsin my family and so many secrets
that I was asked to keep as achild, because we were living
undocumented, and so I wasprotecting those secrets because
of this fear of deportation.
(13:09):
But as I went into my adulthood, and now I have my green card,
I still continue to protect allof those secrets, but for
different reasons.
I protected those secretsbecause I didn't want to be
judged.
I didn't want to be judged, Ididn't want to be.
I didn't want to be rejected byothers.
I didn't want others to thinkthat I'm a fraud.
(13:31):
I didn't you know like I was.
I thought if I protect thesesecrets, then I'm protecting
myself.
But, nancy, what was trulyhappening is that I was
protecting the enemy.
I was protecting all of hissecret hiding places that he had
in my mind.
And so long as I protectedthese things, then I was
(13:52):
protecting him because he couldcome and he could taunt me and
torture me in those spaces andhe would come and tell me things
like well, of course they likeyou, but it's because they think
you had, you know, these greatexperiences or, of course,
they've accepted you.
It's because they think you had, you know these great
experiences or, of course,they've accepted you.
It's because they don't knowthat you were a wetback for a
long time.
Oh, of course they think you'resmart because they don't know
(14:12):
that you didn't go to college,all of it, I mean.
And so I was protecting him.
But the moment that I began, Ibegan to speak and start just
being very transparent andauthentic with who I am.
And that could only happenbecause I had confidence in who
I was, because I learned whose Iwas.
And once I learned to valuethat, then I knew nobody can
(14:33):
held me captive.
And if I started beingtransparent and speaking
authentically, and when I didthat, the enemy no longer had
space to come and taunt me inthat area.
Because when things happen,here's the thing I'm gonna mess
up.
I promise you I will mess up.
I will mess up before this dayis over, but that's okay.
(14:57):
My value and my worth and myidentity is not based on that
disappointment or the thing thatI did wrong.
It's based on the Father.
It's based on the God whocreated the heavens and earth.
That has called me his and hasgiven me an identity through the
blood of Jesus Christ.
That to that poor girl, but God, and God has already called me
(15:31):
his.
So so privacy is a space whereyou expose the lie.
Okay, using discernment.
In my book I pretty much justkind of put it all out there as
far as my childhood.
But but when we, when wetransfer that file from a secret
file to a privacy file, itchanges, because what happens at
(15:52):
that point is using discernmentand discernment meaning knowing
when to share it and who toshare it with, being sensitive
to the Holy Spirit.
So the Holy Spirit will sayshare about you know the
molestation, okay, and then Ispeak on it and I pull out that
private file.
It's no longer a secret filebut it's a private file.
(16:14):
Or maybe I'm speaking tosomebody and I, because I you
know, when you're a kid and andyou're playing with other kids
and you're like, I know you are,but what am I?
Well, it takes one to know one.
That's the one that I was goingfor.
Sometimes I confuse it becauseI think in Spanish and I speak
in English and you know it allgets confused.
(16:34):
I'm like Buzz Lightyear, butokay, so it takes one to know
one.
That statement cannot be sotrue, because when I am talking
with someone and I can, I knowwhat the indicators are and I
could see myself in that then Iwill speak up and I will say you
know, we were undocumented fora long time and they're like
(16:56):
really, I'm like, yeah, and nowthey're interested.
Now they're like, okay, well,tell me, how did you guys like,
what did you do?
And so I start sharing on that.
Or if I'm sensing that therewas maybe a betrayal or an
infidelity, I'll say I was onceunfaithful as well and I bring
(17:16):
that.
But that's the Holy Spirittelling me speak, take out that
private file that doesn't needto be shared with everybody all
the time and be willing to talkabout it.
My son believes.
He's an atheist for a long time.
Now I think he's transferredinto agnostic.
So my son believes he's anatheist for a long time.
(17:38):
Again, when I hear that mama'shurt and that voice and the Lord
tells me pull out the file, Ipull out that file and it's no
longer a secret.
See, because all of thesethings infidelity, an adult, a
strange child, um,undocumentation all of these
things like have this shame thatcome alongside them, right, and
(18:03):
people don't want to talk aboutit.
They don't want to talk aboutit for the same reasons I didn't
want to talk about it Fear ofjudgment.
You know they don't want totalk about it because they're
going to be rejected or whatever.
But going in and pulling themout just displaces the enemy and
he has no place to hide.
There's nothing that he cantalk to you about.
(18:23):
There's almost nothing thatanybody can say about me that I
haven't already said myself.
And that is true freedom.
Because nobody can hold mehostage and I will not ever go
back into the yoke of slaverythat the enemy had me in hostage
and I will not ever go backinto the yoke of slavery that
(18:43):
the enemy had me in.
So I would rather speak truthand be authentic.
And there's something powerfulthat happens in that, because
when somebody is authentic andyou're having a conversation
with them and they are justbeing real, you know they're
being real.
You know when it's a surfaceconversation, you know when
they're they're laying it outand being real.
I have developed the deepest,most beautiful friendships
(19:04):
because of authenticity and withmany ages, from ages, you know,
like teenagers.
I talked to a lot of teenagers,all the way up to women in their
80s and that authenticity levelbreaks everything down and we
begin to develop true friendship.
And let me tell you one thingthat I know for a fact that the
(19:26):
Lord delights in is authenticrelationship, because we are
relational beings.
We were made by a relationalGod.
We are made in his image andthat is something beautiful that
he cherishes so much, so thathe tells us.
He says, before you bring yourgift up to the altar, you go to
(19:48):
your brother and sister that youknow things are not right with
and you make it up with them andyou seek reconciliation, and
then come and offer me your gift.
What does that tell you?
How much does he valuerelationship and friendship, and
(20:10):
what would it look like for us,as women, to champion other
women simply by being honest andauthentic, taking off the mask
and saying, hey, this is real,like it might look like this
from the outside, we might looklike an Ethan Allen commercial,
but it's not.
It's messy and it's a bunch ofonions and each layer of each
onion is a little stinky.
But that's okay, because I knowa God who makes all things
(20:35):
beautiful and gives us beautyfor ashes.
Nancy Bruscher (20:36):
That's so good, that's so interesting, cause I
did have on my notes, like youare so vulnerable in your book
and all things beautiful andgives us beauty for ashes.
That's so good, that's sointeresting, because I did have
on my notes, like you are sovulnerable in your book and is
it hard to be vulnerable?
And you just you just answeredthat as far as yes, but this is
why I do it.
And my next question is is thatwhat if people are listening
(20:56):
and they're saying, yes, I didhave a childhood that you know,
I know, has this baggage or thistrauma or stuff I'm working
through?
And you said it's such aformative time of your years.
What would you say to someonethat's like, okay, I don't know
if I can get past that, thenthere's so many things that I'd
need to work through.
Cecilia McGaw (21:17):
Right.
Well, I mean, and we all do.
And here's the thing is thatour God is gentle, right, when
we look at Galatians and helists the fruits of the spirit,
one of the fruits is gentleness,and that is a fruit that the
Holy Spirit has, so he's notgoing to come and just boom,
expose it.
When you see, when you readwhat you're reading in the book,
(21:38):
this wasn't an overnightprocess.
This is something that tookyears and time, and each time,
each time that a layer of this,let's call it the onion I'm just
feeling like an onion today.
So each time one of theselayers of onion is peeled, then
(21:59):
you know it's time for the nextone, and so you just take it one
step at a time, one bite at atime, and it's also important to
know and recognize which fruit,which layer of that onion is
ripe to be healed and to betransformed and to be renewed,
(22:21):
because we can't go and forceourselves to something that has
not yet been processed.
In James, it tells us I want tosay it's James 6, it says you
can't heal a wound by saying itisn't there.
So the very first step, ifwe're in denial, we're like well
, that didn't bother me, thatwas a long time ago.
It doesn't hurt.
Well, if it didn't, then whydoes it keep coming up up here?
(22:42):
Or why does it keep coming outof here?
If it keeps coming out of hereor it keeps popping up in here
each time, well, let me tell you, it's holding you hostage, and
sometimes we just don't knowright.
And so so we have to know whichfruit is ripe, because a fruit
that is ripe to bring to thealtar and say, okay, lord, I'm
(23:13):
ready to face this piece aboutmy mom, like, help me.
And sometimes we can't do italone.
I mean, we're not doing italone because we're doing it
with God, right, but we tangiblycannot do it alone.
We need to find people who arewilling to mentor us, people who
are going to be ourcheerleaders and our champions
and who are going to pray for usand who, you see, operating
alignment with the word of God,and we ask them to help us.
(23:34):
Many churches across the US andacross the world have programs
like Freedom Prayer, celebrateRecovery.
Celebrate Recovery was huge inmy healing and in my recovery,
because basically that's whatthey do, is we take one thing at
a time and we take an inventoryof our life and we say, okay,
here are the things thathappened and here is what
(23:56):
happened to me, here's what itcaused and here's my part in it.
So I take accountability forsanctified and all of us, even
(24:24):
myself.
I am still finding new levelsof healing.
I am still finding new areas inme where I do not look like
Christ.
There are still some parts ofmy past that still torture me
and taunt me, and that's okay,because I have a hope in a
living God who is bringing meout of that.
(24:45):
And so long as we're on thisside, we're gonna constantly be
renewed and sanctified, and it'sa process.
Extend yourself grace, like wehave a father who extends us
extravagant grace, like it isalmost reckless and abundant.
It is just so much.
We need to extend that samegrace to ourselves, and
(25:09):
sometimes it's hard to receiveit, and so we need to start
small.
So maybe it's not abouttackling, you know, the trauma
or the effects of a betrayal.
Maybe we just need to startwith like okay, lord, like,
teach me to be still, teach meto trust you with these things
(25:31):
and just help me.
Take it one day at a time andrise up.
Women around me, or men aroundme, if you're a man you know,
rise up these women around me,highlight them who they are,
that they are a safe place thatI can go, that I can trust will
lead me back to your word,because, ultimately, everything
(25:52):
has to be filtered through theword of God If it's going to
give us long lasting healing,long lasting freedom.
Everything else is going to betemporary.
Everything else on this side ofeternity, the well is going to
run dry.
The only abundant living waterthat we're going to constantly
be renewed by is the one thatcomes from the heavenlies, and I
(26:13):
know that's a lot and I justget a little passionate.
It might even sound a littlebit confusing, but that's the
best way I can answer that.
Nancy Bruscher (26:22):
Well, and if people get your book, which
we'll do a link in the shownotes.
But what I really like is, notonly is it your story because I
love stories, obviously that'swhat I'm doing is capturing
stories and I feel like they'rewhat makes us share about God
and just connects us inbeautiful ways.
But you have so much scripturein here, which I love.
(26:44):
But then you also have areflection time at the end of
every chapter and I feel likethis is so beautiful for someone
you know that might be goingthrough some things.
I think that you give such abeautiful way for someone to not
only hear your story, but theymight start going through their
own story as well.
Cecilia McGaw (27:04):
So this is really cool and this is.
I love that you kind of startedwith wisdom, like and you just
put that out there, because thisis definitely, this is
definitely wisdom.
I could not have written thisbook without the Holy Spirit in
me and without God guiding methrough it.
Again, when I wrote it, I waslike Lord, I want to make sure
that this is going to besomething that is honoring to
(27:26):
you.
I wanted to make sure that itis life giving and that it's not
just a story.
I want to make sure that it'sgoing to bring people to their
knees and draw them closer toyou.
So the strategy that he gave mefor this book and let me tell
you I am not this clever friend,so I know it's all him so he
gave me four sections for eachchapter and how I was to write
(27:50):
this book.
So what you're going to find ineach chapter is there's going
to be a core memory of mychildhood.
For example, chapter one isgetting smuggled in and it's
going to tell you like how I gotsmuggled in, like the things
that happened, what I wasfeeling, you know, at the
moments that I was beingsmuggled in, and it's going to
(28:11):
give you all of the details thatI never really thought were
important.
But people really like to know,like, like, what do you mean?
So, yeah, how many times didyou get smuggled?
And I got.
I was like a professionalsmuggler by the time I was seven
, you know, because I knewexactly how it was going to get
done.
So it gives you kind of all ofthe story.
But then the second section isthe entanglements.
(28:31):
This is where I can clearly goback to my childhood and almost
see the enemy dropping theseseeds of deception and he wanted
me to believe lies about myself, about other people and about
God and how I viewed them.
So it kind of takes you throughthe entanglements that started.
(28:54):
Then the third section is thetruth revealed, how God redeemed
, healed and restored that lieand how he replaced it with
truth.
And then the fourth section ofthe book is a reflection piece
for you, for the reader.
So it doesn't matter what yourchildhood was like or if it was
(29:16):
anything like mine, becausethey're very specific questions
to that part of your childhood,to just kind of go and help you
identify who were the peoplethat were in my ear, what were
the thoughts that were goingthrough my mind, what seeds did
get planted, what from this isstill tainting how I process,
(29:39):
how I perceive people, how Iperceive God, how I perceive
myself.
And so if you go through eachchapter and complete the
reflection piece, what you'llfind is that at the end of the
eight chapters, you'll be ableto clearly identify the pattern
and the continuous pitfalls ofthose lies that you believed.
(30:02):
And that's a really greatstarting point to kind of just
identify.
Okay, like what are some of thethings that I'm struggling with
?
I work with many women.
I'm in women's ministry and oneof the things that I do with
them is I mentor them throughwriting out their testimony,
because we come together for atestimony gathering once a month
and so as I hear their stories,I just kind of like write
(30:26):
little notes and I'm like didyou realize that you mentioned
this particular part of yourstory like six different times.
They're like did I?
I'm like, yeah, so let's goback to that.
And that's how we find thoselittle patterns.
And so I believe that again,very divinely, that is what God
gave me with.
This is like okay, now we'regoing to help others go through
(30:48):
that.
So if you go through each ofthe reflection pieces, you will
see a pattern and you will.
It'll give you a starting pointof like.
Okay, where am I stillbelieving some of these lies
about myself?
Nancy Bruscher (31:01):
Good.
Something else that reallypopped out to me in reading your
book is the comparison trap.
Isn't that something that Ithink, again, we can all
identify with is oh, it's sohard not to compare yourself
(31:23):
identify with is oh, it's sohard not to compare yourself.
Cecilia McGaw (31:25):
Yes, gosh, the comparison trap is something
that is a daily for me.
Sometimes it's something sosubtle and something so small,
and sometimes it's somethingreally big.
And the comparison trap istruly the thief of joy, because
when we begin to compareourselves to somebody else
whether we're comparingourselves or we're comparing our
families, our children, ourhusband to somebody else what
(31:49):
we're actually doing is we'realmost inviting the enemy, the
devil.
Again, I always want to beclear who the enemy is.
We're almost inviting him in tosay come and tell me lies about
my body.
We recently put a poll in,which is something I always
wanted for a long, long time.
And so we recently put a polland we've had a lot of friends
(32:11):
come over.
And you know, I'm in my 50s andI'm not no spring chicken,
right.
But I see some of my friendsand I'm like, wow, I really need
to start working out, you know,because I'm just like I don't
look like that in a swimsuit,you know, and that's OK to do,
that.
That's healthy, like if it'smotivating me.
(32:31):
And I did.
I actually signed up recentlyfor Hot Works.
That's a story for another day.
But so I'm like, ok, I probablyneed to get to the gym and
start doing something to honormy body.
And it stopped there.
But I will tell you, five yearsago, 10 years ago, it would not
have stopped there.
It would have been oh mygoodness, you're so fat.
Oh, it's because you have noself-control and, yeah, you eat
(32:55):
all this junk food and you'renever going to be fit and like
all these things.
And before you know it, itmight seem subtle and small and
insignificant, but after a whileour shoulders start to drop
down and we start, we startwalking around, you know, beaten
up, defeated, and sometimesit's bigger things, even in
(33:16):
ministry.
For those of you who are inministry, I'm speaking straight
to you.
I've been in ministry for a longtime and once upon a time I'd
go to a conference and you knowI speak at the conference and
then I'm like okay, well, thankyou, lord for using me to and
speaking through me.
And then the next speaker goesup and I'm like, oh my gosh, her
dialogue is amazing, hervocabulary.
(33:37):
You know, I don't speak.
It's because you're dumb, it'sbecause you didn't really learn
English, it's because you wereilliterate, like, and it all
comes back and, before I know it.
The joy that the Lord gave meand allowed me to delight and to
say do you see, cecilia, how wehave partnered up and your yes
is helping extend the kingdom,that joy that I felt for a
(33:57):
second is now deflated because Istarted comparing myself to the
next speaker or with my son.
He was estranged from me forseveral years and I would see
other families and I would seetheir son.
That was about my son's age andI'm like in admiration.
(34:18):
I'm like, wow, that's awesome,maybe I should have.
In admiration.
I'm like, wow, that's awesome,like I wish maybe I should have
done things different.
And then the enemy is like whoa, invitation, let's go.
Yeah, you were a bad mom.
Remember you did this.
Oh, it was probably the timethat you spanked him.
It was like, oh, like he'lljust come rushing in.
That comparison trap sometimescould be so subtle and so small
(34:40):
a little swimsuit, oh, I need tolose some weight to something
really big.
But all those tiny littlecomparisons will make us lose
our self-worth.
They'll make us think thatwe're not valuable.
We start judging ourselves andwe just start inviting the enemy
to come in and feed us junk.
(35:01):
And this is where we need to bewise enough.
That wisdom, oh my goodness,it's huge that we need to be
wise enough to come back and say, lord, here's how I'm feeling.
And when I talk to God, let metell you it sounds like a
conversation like you and I, andit'll sound something like Lord
(35:21):
.
I don't know why I am lettingthis trip me up.
I am so happy for my friend,kristen, who has these amazing
kids and, like he's a pastor,he's doing great things.
I'm happy for her.
Help me to find the joy in theway I parented and help me to
see the hope that I have in thethings that you're doing in my
(35:42):
child and how you are creatinghim in his own unique person and
how he will have his own divinepurpose.
Help me to be thankful in that.
And then the thoughts come.
You know why?
Because when my son comes tohis salvation point which I am
believing for, and I know thatthe Lord has promised him and
(36:03):
I'm not afraid to say it I amwaiting for the day and I hope
that it's when I'm still on thisside of eternity, because when
my son comes to know the Lord,his extension will be so much
greater than mine because hewill know how to speak to the
atheist community, to theagnostic community.
You put me in front of a bunchof atheists.
I don't even know where tostart or what to say, because
(36:24):
I've never experienced it.
But my son he has, and when hecomes into his full identity,
into his full glory of who Godcreated him to be, he is going
to have a voice and a reach thatI don't have.
And so, even though my son maylook different than somebody
else's son, that's okay, becausewe don't go by what we see by
(36:47):
sight, we go by what we know inour hearts of who our God is,
and he is the same yesterday,today and forever.
And obviously, you can see, I'mvery passionate about my faith
in the Lord and every questionseems to be a little sermon.
So I apologize for that, butthis is who my God is, and I
cannot tell you enough.
(37:08):
The world is not perfect.
My life is currently notperfect, it's never perfect, but
what makes it perfect is aperfect God who has his hand
upon it and guides every step ofthe way, and so, so long as I
stay in this posture ofsurrender, I know who is leading
me and that is what gives meconfidence.
(37:31):
So if you're in a place ofsaying, well, that's great for
you because you know it's going.
Well, no, it's not.
You know there's thingshappening, you know.
But God, god is still god andit's not a surprise to him, and
god's in control, and god's incontrol of who's in control, so
there's no excuse.
Nancy Bruscher (37:52):
Good, it's good.
I love how you shared in therethat the things that have been
difficult or the things thathave shaped us are also the
things that we can glorify Godwith and we can talk to people
in that way or meet people inthat way that I can't or you
can't Like you were talkingbefore.
(38:14):
We all get to work together.
We're all part of this body ofChrist and we can't do it alone
and we all have gifts anddifferent things that we get to
share.
Cecilia McGaw (38:23):
And we also have a voice like.
Our instrument is our, this isour mouthpiece, this is our
instrument, right, and all of ushave a different instrument and
it's tuned to a different setof ears.
So my voice might be the voicethat somebody needs to hear, but
your voice might be the voicethat reaches another set of ears
(38:44):
that my voice cannot.
And we're all part of thispuzzle and we all look a little
different.
And some of us, you knowpointing at myself some of us
are that like funky little piecethat you're like what part of
the puzzle is that?
Like it's got a funkiest littleshape, but it has a place in
the tapestry of God's kingdom.
(39:04):
And we have to be okay if we'rethat quirky little piece that
we are not sure where it goes,or if we're the corner piece
that seems to have some reallystraight edges, or we're that
really soft piece that maybelooks like a heart.
But we're all part of the samepuzzle and it's a beautiful
puzzle because it's the Lord'stapestry that's made up of each
(39:24):
and every one of us.
Nancy Bruscher (39:26):
Well, that's such a great reminder, going to
the comparison, that we don'tneed to compare ourselves to
somebody, because God's made usright in our identity to be a
certain person, to be a certainthing for his glory, for his
like.
When he talks about the body ofChrist he says not everybody
can be an eye or not everybodycan be a hand, like we all have
(39:47):
to do our part.
So if we're trying to compareourselves, like, oh, but I
really want to do what they'redoing, I really what?
Why can't I do that?
What?
And God's, god's like, but I'vemade you this way to do this,
and kind of like get in yourlife and do it Right.
Cecilia McGaw (40:02):
Yes, yes, yes, and I mean truly.
If we can learn to delight inhow he's created us and we can
learn to embrace how we weremade man, what a world it would
be.
But let me tell you that enemy,he never rests and every
morning he has a new way to tripme up.
He has a new way to trip you up, and that's why we always have
(40:25):
to be on guard and we alwayshave to have the word of God on
our hearts, because we're goingto need it to say uh-uh.
No, that is not true.
I am an excellent driver.
I just so happened to pass thatone stop sign, but praise God
that he spared me.
And look, I'm still on the roadand I'm still driving.
You know, and that's just asmall thought, but I don't know
why I went there, because Ipassed the stop sign early.
(40:46):
That's why.
Nancy Bruscher (40:50):
Well, I have loved this.
This has been so, so great.
I've enjoyed this time together.
I always like to end on thesethree questions what is your
favorite?
Cecilia McGaw (41:01):
Bible verse or story my favorite.
You know I have a favoriteverse that I feel like what I
want to.
The one that's kind of been onmy heart lately is Esther.
So I used to be Esther, not ina good way, I had esteritis.
So you know, when Esther wasalready in the king's palace and
(41:28):
she found out that Mordecai isjust like you know, he's upset.
You know they're going to killthe, you know the Israelites,
and like he's, like just he's ina frantic panic, right, and she
hears about him.
She doesn't know the details,but what she sends out to him
with one of her servants is shesends him some fresh, fresh
clothes, fresh clothes here.
(41:49):
Clean up, put this on it.
And that's the part that I usedto relate to the most.
I wanted to hurry up and coverit when something messy was in
my life.
Just hurry up, put somethingpretty on it.
Let's hurry up and clean it sothat it looks pretty from the
outside looking in, Right, andso that that's just not the way
(42:11):
it goes.
It's like you know what, lord,let me invite you to the messy,
let me invite you to mybrokenness, sometimes to the
point where I'm pulverized.
Because when I'm pulverized andI'm just this dust and there's
nothing left in me.
It's a hard place to be, butit's also a beautiful place to
be, because this is where theLord can pour out his holy and
(42:35):
start creating a new vessel witha new purpose and a new level
of gifting and a new level ofpouring out.
And so, yeah, so I try not togo back to having esteritis.
I do sometimes, and sometimes Ican recover okay.
And sometimes I can recoverokay and sometimes I can't.
(42:56):
And the days that I can't,god's extravagant grace is still
waiting for me and I can stillcome back and still give him
glory with that story and say,listen, I have failed too, and
and here's how God redeemed it,or here's how God restored it,
or here's how God saved me outof it, you know when I couldn't
find a way.
So that's probably my favoritestory.
(43:19):
I forgot what your secondquestion was.
Nancy Bruscher (43:21):
Oh no, my second .
That was so good.
I have never I've read Estherso many times and that portion
of it has never, ever like,really resonated me.
I just went right by it, right,and so that's so interesting.
I thank you.
I learned so much right there.
What are you grateful for?
Cecilia McGaw (43:43):
What am I grateful for?
I'm grateful for my everyday.
I'm grateful.
I'm grateful that I, that I amin this new place of confidence
in my, in my identity with who,who God is and what he is doing.
It just leaves me very, um,very interruptible um to
(44:07):
whatever he has for me.
I, I am walking in his will andevery day I'm very intentional
of surrendering my dayusts mewith being a representative of
Jesus.
I'm so thankful that he thinksthat I'm capable of delivering
(44:46):
his word, that I am capable ofdelivering this treasure.
You know, in 2 Corinthians 4, Ibelieve it's 2 Corinthians 4,
but it's not the first, it's notthe second, it's the first.
But Corinthians 4, I want to sayit's like 16.
It talks about how we are,these jars of clay, these jars
(45:06):
of clay that carry a treasureinside.
I love being a jar of clay,being a jar of clay, and I'm
okay with being broken, becausea broken jar can't hold the
beautiful treasures that holdinside.
It leaks out wherever it goesand it just leaves like little
(45:27):
little smudges and sometimesdrips and sometimes puddles.
But that's because the Lord isin me and I am this jar that
carries this treasure, the HolySpirit in me, and I hope that I
am the messiest jar of clay thatis so fragile, holding this
beautiful treasure inside that,wherever I go, lord, let me leak
(45:51):
, let me leave an imprint of whoyou are and what you've done in
me.
Wherever I go, whatever I speak, whatever I say, help me to
remember who I am, so that I'mable to represent you in a way
that is honoring and pleasing toyou, because I long to hear
(46:12):
well done, my good and faithfulservant, and that's all I want
that's uh.
Nancy Bruscher (46:21):
That last quote about well done my, my good and
faithful servant, was one of mygrandpa's favorites.
What kindness have you shown orwhat kindness have you received
in the last week?
Cecilia McGaw (46:33):
in the last week.
Oh my gosh, I've received somuch kindness, more than I
deserve, including this.
I published my book in January.
I haven't done a whole lot withit because I've been busy in
other areas of ministry lately.
We have a lot of differentthings going on.
As a matter of fact, we have aconference this weekend that I'm
(46:55):
speaking at, so there's alwayslike something happening and I
really haven't done much with mybook.
I haven't promoted it, Ihaven't done anything.
But then you show up, you knowLauren shows up and she's like
hey, you need to meet my friendNancy.
And and again, that's all God,that's all God's favor and God's
doing.
I have, you know, just peoplereaching out to me and again,
(47:21):
I've done nothing with the book.
So God's kindness is everywhereand that motivates me and
inspires me that I don't have topress or push my own agenda or
my own whatever, like God's,like I got you, like focus on me
and it just, it just shows trueand rings true to seek first
(47:46):
the kingdom of God and theneverything else will be added on
to you.
And the kindness comes fromeverywhere all the time.
And if I'm not feeling thekindness, if I really take a
pause and say okay, lord, showme.
The list of the things I amthankful for is endless.
(48:11):
So there's been a lot ofkindness shown to me, and my
hope is that I am showingkindness to others, yeah.
Nancy Bruscher (48:24):
Cecilia, I have loved our conversation, thank
you.
Thank you for being authentic,thank you for sharing your heart
for God and sharing your story,and I'm just so excited to see
how God is going to bless this.
Cecilia McGaw (48:40):
Thank you so much for reaching out, thank you for
being patient with me, and I'mlooking forward to see what God
has is going to do with all ofthis with you, you know, with me
, with every woman out therethat is saying, like what is my
purpose?
Like you don't have to worryabout the purpose, just stay
tuned to the heavenly and you'regoing to get step-by-step
(49:02):
instruction.
And I just pray that in thistime that our world seems so
divided and so broken that wewould wake up, that we would
rise up, that we would be bold,that we would be willing to open
our mouths and proclaim thetruth, even when it feels
uncomfortable or even when itfeels like an interruption in
(49:25):
our schedule.
That we would be willing torecognize the importance of
loving each other, ofencouraging each other, of
speaking hope and, mostimportantly, speaking our
message, speaking our testimony.
When we look at the Bible, theBible is a collection of books,
(49:45):
of people's stories.
Everybody in the Bible has atestimony and that's what the
Bible is.
It's their story and how Godredeemed and reconciled them and
how he restored them.
Like that's what the Bible is.
It's their story and how Godredeemed and reconciled them and
how he restored them Like.
That's what it is.
Our testimony is also a gospel.
It's telling our story of oursalvation, of what God has done.
(50:08):
And even if you don't know theBible, if you don't know the
scripture, you know.
Maybe you're sitting there nowand thinking like I don't know
the scripture by memory or Idon't know all the story.
I've never heard of esther.
Who the heck is esther and whydoes she have esteritis?
Don't even worry about that.
Like your, your gospel, yourtruth, is your story, and if you
(50:30):
have of this is who I was andthis is who I am then you have
something valuable to say andyou have a set of ears waiting
to hear it.
And so thank you for answeringto your calling.
Nancy, I'm glad that the Lordhas entrusted you with this
platform and I truly pray thatit is life-giving, that it
(50:58):
changes atmospheres in people'shearts and that it continues to
be anointed, moving forward toextend and strengthen the
kingdom of God.
Thank you for doing this.
Nancy Bruscher (51:09):
Thank you On Ordinary People, extraordinary
Things.
Your story is His glory.
What an episode with Cecilia.
I hope that this podcast hasinspired and made you want to do
more than just think about it,but to actually act.
If you found it helpful, pleaseshare this podcast right now
with someone you think could beencouraged by it.
(51:31):
We will be back in less thantwo weeks for the next brand new
episode of Ordinary People,extraordinary Things.
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