February 2, 2025 • 40 mins
Curtis is back and continues his story today. You all loved his story (#84) so much he's on to share more...
• Rediscovering life in the aftermath of incarceration
• Embracing God's forgiveness and moving forward
• Transforming a jail cell into a mission field
• Overcoming shame and understanding remorse
• Navigating the challenges of re-entering society
• Finding purpose and relationships post-release
• The power of storytelling in personal transformation
• Encouraging others to view difficulties as opportunities
👀 Watch the whole interview: https://youtu.be/lu3w3sSryEg
Curtis’s 1st interview 👇
#️⃣84. Forgiveness & Purpose in a Jail Cell with Curtis Fryhttps://youtu.be/CKLHdSm3ztQ
or listen at 🎧
https://www.buzzsprout.com/1882033/episodes/15862837
🤝Connect with Curtis at https://curtisfry.com/
https://generationstogenerations.com/podcast
ordinarypeoplestories@gmail.com
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https://www.instagram.com/ordinarypeopleextraordinary/
X: @storiesextra
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Ordinary People.
Extraordinary Things.
Curtis, you're back, Thank you.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
I am Thank you for having me again.
Yeah, I'm excited.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
So if you have not checked out Curtis's first
interview, we will link that.
You need to listen to thatbecause we're not really going
to go over the same things,because we had so many people
listen and watch and they wantto know more about you, and so
thank you for being on again.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Anytime that God opens the door for me to share
his story through my life.
I'd love the opportunity.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Well, could you give us three words or phrases to
describe what your life is now?
Speaker 2 (00:44):
My life now definitely redeemed the life
that I live now.
If you look at that event thathappened in my life and you look
at it now, the only word thatwould explain that would be
redeemed.
The other blessed.
Blessed beyond measure.
My wife, my kids, just theenvironment that God has put me
(01:06):
in definitely is a blessing tome.
And the third one, I don't know, I would say just content, very
content, with what God hasbrought me through the highs and
the lows, Just this contentmentfor sure.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
That's good, that's really good.
If people don't know who youare, I am going to ask them to
go to episode 84.
It's called forgiveness andpurpose in a jail cell.
You were in jail or prison forabout five years, is that right?
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Yes, that is correct Okay.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
And for second degree murder?
Is that also correct?
Speaker 2 (01:49):
Yeah, I was charged with second degree murder.
The judge, after going throughtrial, the judge ended up
dropping it down to a 10 yearmanslaughter charge.
So instead of the the 50 yearsecond degree murder, I ended up
with a 10 year manslaughtercharge which, because of
overpopulation, the time getscut in half.
(02:09):
So I had the five-year sentencebasically.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Okay, yeah, and if someone's just coming into this,
I'm sure that that piqued theirinterest of.
Okay, what?
What's happening?
Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Go to that story.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
So again go to that story.
But in our first episode youtalked about a man who came to
Jesus while you were in prison.
But then you also kind of foryou to not just I don't be angry
, be frustrated, be I mean,there's so many things that you
(02:57):
could have been or just I'm justgetting through this.
I, you know, I'll just watch TV, I have no idea, but it seems
like you use this time to bedeliberate with where God had
placed you.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Yeah, I had.
It took about three months ofbeing in jail that I was.
I was still stuck in that like,why, why, why, why?
Like God, forgive me, forgiveme, forgive me, forgive me.
And after about three months,it was one night.
I was praying and reading andit was like God said Curtis, I
(03:27):
forgave you the first time youasked.
And I've been standing herewith my arms open, waiting for
you to give your whole life tome.
I don't want just theconvenience of me, of you to
have the convenience of me.
I want you to completelysurrender your life to me, every
step, every word, no matterwhere you are.
And that night, when I realizedthat I was able to fully accept
(03:51):
that forgiveness that God hadgiven me, and then I had to face
that question that you'retalking about, like, okay, what
do I do now?
Like I'm here, yes, I'm herebecause of mistakes that I made.
But what do I do now?
Yes, I'm here because ofmistakes that I made, but what
do I do now?
And that option of just kind ofgetting through and even maybe
being bitter of why do I have togo through this when so many
(04:13):
other people have not have donethe same thing that I did went
out on their 21st and they'renot sitting in here, like, why
do I could have chosen that.
But instead, just the way thatGod impacted me that night I was
able to change my prayer fromGod forgive me to Okay, god,
here I am, I'm your servant, useme where you need me.
(04:36):
And from that point on I Iremember a conversation on the
phone with my, with my parents,and my mom was just obviously
really struggling through thistime and I remember telling her
Mom don't think of this as mebeing in jail, think of this as
me being on the mission field,because in here there are a lot
(05:01):
of people that know God, theyknow God's words.
In fact, most of the guys inthere knew the Bible better than
I did and I grew up my wholelife in the church and in a
Christian home.
But the difference was ispeople didn't live out Jesus,
they didn't walk the walk.
(05:22):
It was all talk over here, butthen when that was done, that
door is shut and you move on andthen you're, you're someone
totally different, and so Irealized pretty quick that
people didn't want to.
In there, people didn't want tohear about God because everyone
knew about God in there and theywanted instead they wanted to
(05:42):
experience who God was throughyour life.
And so pretty soon I figuredout just rubbing shoulders every
day with the guys gave meopportunities.
Just continuing doing the samethings like go every morning I'd
go out in the day room and readmy Bible, and it let that led.
Just that in itself led to guyswould kind of see who I was and
(06:04):
see that I was.
I was different, and they wouldget off the phone and they had
a hard conversation with anattorney or their family and
they would come in my cell andjust open up and just, um, hey,
curtis, you know I'm.
I noticed that you have a faith.
Like can, I is there, I don'tknow what to do here.
(06:26):
Like, this is going on and I'mjust overwhelmed.
And at that time my pastor thathad been coming in had
encouraged me to memorize verses, and so it was amazing how many
times guys would come in andthey would say something and it
would trigger a hey, this verse,right, you need to hear this.
(06:48):
And so I'd just be able tospeak God's word on them.
And it was.
It was amazing just that thatin itself, that interaction that
a lot of guys aren't able tohave because obviously, like you
said, they're not, you're notin that situation.
But being able to be in thatenvironment with them and just
be someone that was justdifferent, allowed me to
(07:11):
minister for Christ in there inmany ways.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
It's really beautiful .
I think of how maybe some ofour listeners are in a job or
somewhere else where they don'twant to be, but I hope that this
encourages them.
Hey, wherever you are, havethat be your mission field.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
Yeah, yeah, and I and I think too, like there's a lot
of times you bring up a goodpoint, like there's a lot of
people that you talk to andthey're just like.
They're just like dredgingthrough life almost Maybe it is
their job that they feel likethey're stuck in, they're like I
just don't have, there's just Idon't have a passion.
And I think if we change ourfocus like we're in there's
(07:55):
different chapters of our lifethat we go through and if we
change our focus from this iswhat I have to go through to hey
, I can be an example for Christ, even in this time that I feel
like is wasted time, it's notgoing to get me anywhere,
there's.
There's nothing good going tocome out of this.
(08:15):
It's it's in those times.
If we just change our focus toOK, god, I don't see the good in
this, I don't see what thefruit that will be produced, but
God used me even in this timein my life.
I think that is something thatwe look past so many times.
We try and look for what's nextinstead of what God has put
(08:37):
right in front of our face.
I think I would encourageeveryone who is listening to
just take a step back and sayokay, what am I looking towards
and what am I missing?
What opportunities has Godgiven me right here, right now
in my life?
Speaker 1 (08:53):
Yeah, and I can't really think of anything more
stuck than in a jail cell, Likeor you know we're talking about.
I feel stuck in this position,I feel stuck in here, but you
are literally stuck.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
A lot of belief.
Yeah, I, and in fact, when I itwas funny, when I well, not
funny, but funny to me like itwas just people would assume
that you know, you need to takesome time and be able to live
again.
Once you, when I got out ofprison, they were like you need
(09:32):
to take some time to yourselfand and start living again.
I'm like I've been living thelast four years like four and a
half five years.
God has has used me even inthere.
It wasn't wasted time.
In fact I, when I go and speaka lot of times I will, I will
share the fact.
I wish I could take back thenight of my 21st birthday and
what happened to Mr McEwen.
But all the time that I spentin jail, all the time that I
spent in prison, it's throughthat time, through that hardest
(09:55):
time in my life, that God turnedme into the man that I'm
supposed to be in him, not who Inecessarily saw myself being or
wanted to be originally, butwho God intended me to be.
It was time that he had my fullattention, you know, and was
able to speak into my life thatI probably wouldn't have given
(10:18):
him the time for if I had allthe distractions of the world.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
I'm sure you must have gotten down, or frustrated,
or depressed, I'm not sure.
But if you did, how did you getout of that situation?
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Yeah, so I can think back to a couple of times that I
did feel overwhelmed, one timein particular.
Well, I'll share two of them.
One time was when a good friendof mine passed away while I was
sitting in jail, someone who Ihad hung out with for the last
(10:54):
two years before my 21stbirthday, and so that time for
me was probably just thatrelationship that I desired, and
I couldn't even be there tojust kind of have that closure.
That was probably one of thehardest times for me in there.
Um, there was another time thatI remember.
(11:15):
I remember, and that time I didlike I just I wept for a couple
of hours and it was, it was coolto see, even in that, some of
the guys uh, comforting, likeshowing, trying to show comfort,
and even I remember this oneguy.
(11:36):
He wrote a poem and he ended upsending it to my parents and it
was all around this event thathappened.
It was just cool to see howeven that in itself could be a
witness.
But another time I remembersitting in there and just
feeling that overwhelmed,feeling overwhelmed and I
(11:57):
desired to cry, I desired tojust feel this like I don't know
, I can't even put it to words,but I desired to just cry and
just be in that pity.
But there was just a peace evenin that that God gave me.
(12:20):
Every day I'd get up and there'dbe 10 new letters or something
from people of my community thatwould send me notes and cards
and things like that, and I justhad this peace, this
overwhelming peace.
That was like no, it's okay,curtis, I have you, I have you
(12:47):
in my arms, and I remember justfeeling that overwhelming
presence of God in that timewhen I was feeling as though I
was overwhelmed, but all I coulddo is just smile and thank God
for him seeing me through thattime.
I don't know if I reallyanswered your question.
There was a time that I feltthat and I wanted to feel it
(13:09):
even more at times.
I think that we can kind of dothat.
We want to feel downtroddensometimes and I think that we
have to remember that God senthis son, jesus to earth to take
care of all that, to conquerthat death, to conquer that
(13:30):
overwhelming feeling.
Yeah, I don't know, it's just.
God just was able to bring mepeace, even in that hardest time
of my life.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
Did you or do you feel shame about?
Speaker 2 (13:45):
what happened?
Yeah, so I got to start thatoff with.
I have a very guilty conscience, to the point of I had a.
I had a girlfriend right out ofhigh school and I ended up,
long story short.
And I ended up, long storyshort, kissing another girl and
(14:12):
I felt so bad the very next dayI had to go and confess that to
my girlfriend.
And so, in saying that, fastforward to this, I remember
sitting in jail and seeing MrMcEwen's face come up on the
screen for the first time on thenews, on the TV, and I remember
(14:34):
, like there was no, there wasno recollection of ever seeing
Mr McEwen prior to that pointand, and To this day I still I
don't have that, that shame.
I think God has protected,protected me from that.
I do have a remorse, if thatmakes sense, that I know that
(15:00):
because of the actions that Ichose to do that night, mr
McEwen ended up dying.
No matter, no matter how thathappened because, since I chose
to go and get drunk the way thatI did, I ended up in his
environment and he ended up dead, and so I think God has has
protected me from that shame,because that that in itself
(15:25):
Satan loves.
He loves shame.
And yeah, and he is going to anychance he gets.
He is going to continue tobring stuff up that we have a
shameful heart towards, or athings that we haven't let go,
that we haven't fullysurrendered to Christ.
I say a lot of times when Ispeak, I talk about that night
(15:49):
that I was talking about earlier, that I realized that God
forgave me, I was able to dosomething that I think every
single one of us needs to do,and we need to fully accept
God's forgiveness.
And in fully accepting God'sforgiveness, we need to be able
to forgive ourselves for thosesins that we have committed.
We need to understand that God,as holy as he is, he's willing
(16:16):
to forgive us.
And if he's willing to forgiveus for those things, then who
are we to say, yeah, but I can'tforgive myself, I can't let go
of that.
Like I deserve this punishment,and God says, no, no, jesus, I
sent him to go of that.
Like I deserve this punishment.
And God says, no, no, I, jesus,I sent him to pay for that.
So fully accept God'sforgiveness.
(16:37):
And in that fully acceptingGod's forgiveness, are there
still consequences for ouractions?
Absolutely, but that, thatshame of man.
I can never get past this,because this is what defines me
in life.
That won't be there.
That won't be there because itis understanding that what Jesus
(17:00):
did on the cross, it matters,it matters and it paid the
penalty in full.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
That's so good.
I know a lot of people livewith shame and I so love your
answer, and I do like how yousaid that remorse and shame are
two different things, right, Ilike that a lot.
How do you not be defined bythis, but then also you're so
willing to talk about it andshare your story.
(17:29):
How do you balance that, Iguess?
Speaker 2 (17:32):
Yeah, I look at, there's a lot of people that do
allow, and I think it is Satanreally making them think back to
one event in their life andtelling them hey, this is who
you are, this is who you reallyare, and that isn't.
God doesn't view us like thatat all.
(17:54):
So, thankfully, through thatforgiveness that God has given
me, that event that happenedthat night with Mr McEwen
doesn't define me.
Mcewen doesn't define me, andbeing able to speak about it, it
allows me to help other people,as you're talking right now.
(18:18):
Help other people understandthat one event in their life
doesn't define who they are.
I mean, you think of a bunch ofexamples in the Bible.
You think of David and the sinwith Bathsheba, or with even
going farther than that and andkilling um, her husband, putting
him on the front line of thewar.
Or you think of the apostlepaul, who was saul, who who
killed christians, who was thereat at stephen stoning, and yet
(18:41):
god still said hey, I want you,you, I choose you to be my
apostle, I love you.
So I think that we need to ifwe are allowing one event in our
life to define who we are,apart from the fact that Jesus
dying on the cross and thatforgiveness he offers, of us
(19:02):
accepting that, that shoulddefine who we are.
If we're allowing anything elseto define who we are, I think we
need to really do some heartsearching and say, okay, god,
have I given this to you, have Iallowed you to take this, or am
I just talking about it andthen pulling it back in?
(19:25):
And so I think I think if weyeah, if we're at a spot where
we're an event in our life wefeel like defines us and there's
a difference, too between usallowing an event to define us
and the world will also putthose defining moments on us,
(19:47):
and we need to separate thatfrom okay, who does God say I am
?
How does God define me?
Well, god calls me his son.
God calls me his daughter.
He doesn't call me murderer orliar or thief or any of those
things.
God calls me you are my son.
(20:08):
So I think we need to.
If we are at a point in ourlife that we're allowing
something to define, we need tosurrender.
Surrender it to God.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
This podcast is all about stories how has telling
your story impacted others andhow has it impacted you?
I'm just always asking peoplenot only to listen to these
stories that we have, but alsoshare their own story.
Right, so could you maybe shareabout how telling my story to
(20:41):
youth groups and stuff?
Speaker 2 (20:55):
And so it began clear back then.
And then when I got out, I wasobviously like asked if I would
come and share.
And I remember the first timethat I spoke was at the Salt
Company in Iowa City in front ofabout 225 college students, and
(21:15):
I had spoke in front of a groupof about 50 one time before
that, before I went to prison,and halfway through my talk I
had passed out, Like so publicspeaking was not my, my deal.
And so I remember going upthere and just feeling this
(21:36):
before I went up there.
You know my heart is justsitting up here just pounding,
but my prayer before was God, Ican't do this, but you can.
And I think, in sharing ourstories of what God has done in
our life, yeah, it's not onlylike encouraging others to see
(21:58):
redemption and to see God's lovein your story, but it is also
helping you surrender, Becausewe become vulnerable as we speak
and share our life.
There's a vulnerability and itis a surrender.
It is okay, God, I'm going todo this, not because I
(22:19):
necessarily want to, but becauseI know that your name is going
to be glorified, and so for meit's surrender, it's God's story
in my life, it's not mine tohold, it's what God has done in
my life, so I'm going tocontinue to share it For other
people.
After about I don't know, I'dbeen probably six months, seven
(22:41):
months, I had been out and I hadshared my story a few times and
I'm just like, OK, what am Idoing?
Is this doing anything?
And I was sitting in churchservice at Veritas Church in
Iowa City and they were doingbaptisms and they do like these
little video testimonies on thescreen before the baptism.
(23:03):
And this young lady gets upthere and pastor is asking her
questions and he said when didyou, when did you to fully
(23:26):
surrender to Christ instead ofjust go through the motions or
do things because it was theright thing to do?
And at that point, for me itwas just that clarification of,
hey, I'm going to use this andknowing that it impacted one
(23:48):
life was enough for me tocontinue.
And I know there's been a lotof other people that it has
impacted and I've heardtestimonies from people.
Some people have emailed me andsent messages and just
encouraged me to continuesharing because of the impact
that it had on them or theirkids or stuff like that.
(24:09):
So yeah, stories, stories arepowerful.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
Wow, that was amazing .
Thank you for sharing that.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
When you got out, was it hard to reenter, was it?
Did you know your purpose, didyou?
I know you said that you feltlike you were ready to go and
you hadn't just been sittingthere and everything like that.
But was it still kind ofdifficult or did you know what
you were going to be doing next?
Speaker 2 (24:37):
Yeah, I had no idea.
I knew that when I had got outI had a job lined up through a
guy in my, in my parents' church, and so I knew that I had to
being on.
I was still on parole at thattime and so I had to have a job
and be in the same area and allthis kind of stuff.
So I didn't, I didn't have thatlike exact purpose, like that
(25:04):
exact hey, where am I going?
But I knew that sometimes weget stuck in not seeing far
ahead in our life and so we'relike well, what am I working
towards if I'm not, if I don'thave that exact direction and I
would say I was probably at thatpoint- in my life, I was one
that after high school, I wasready to settle down and be
(25:26):
married and start a family.
Like that was just a strongdesire in my life.
Obviously, now I'm at thispoint that we're talking about,
I'm about 26, 25, 26.
And I still I still was wasready.
That was something that wasstrong in my life, like I wanted
(25:46):
to find someone that I couldspend the rest of my life with,
and I didn't know exactly whothat was or where that was or
what I was doing, but I knewthat God had had a plan for me
and I knew that, as long as hecontinued to ask me to speak and
and share my story, that hewould continue to provide for me
(26:08):
.
And so no, I didn't.
I didn't have a a exact purpose, and I forget the first part of
that question.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
There's two parts there oh yeah, it was hard to
re-enter society, yeah yeah,re-entering.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
So that was as I um.
When you hear someone sayinstitutionalized people coming
out of prison, that is a realterm.
I was.
You know cell phones were outwhen I went in.
When I came back out, Iremember walking into a Taco
(26:43):
Bell and just being overwhelmedbeing overwhelmed with decisions
that I had to make, and Iremember looking at my mom and
saying what do I do?
And I had ordered at a Taco Bellhundreds of times in my life
before this.
But that four years of nothaving to make decisions it
(27:05):
definitely, it definitely madeit hard.
Like you, I forgot how to drive.
I had to like relearn, likethere's just this anxiety almost
that came with getting in thatcar for the first couple of
times and figuring all thatstuff out, Cause when you, when
you don't do the same stuff overand over again, you do kind of
lose that, um, that skill thatyou have, that you had acquired.
(27:29):
So, yeah, it was hard, but again, like God just continued to
give me opportunities and Ithink, in those times when we
don't know exactly what we'resupposed to do, we just do what
God has told us to do and thatis to continue to live a life
for him, live a life surrenderto him, continue to work out our
(27:49):
salvation, as it says, justcontinue to put one foot in
front of the other until thereis that clear path in front of
you that you know that, hey,this is where God is leading me
in life.
Speaker 1 (28:02):
That's good, and you were in there for, I mean, not
really a short time.
I don't want to minimize thatin any way, but some people are
for a very long time.
I can't imagine howinstitutionalized they must feel
after you know, two, three,four times as long as you were
(28:22):
in there.
That would be difficult,absolutely.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
There's one guy that I kind of after this event, so
we'll kind of take a sidetrackhere, maybe.
So I had one time while I wasin prison that I got in a fight,
so to speak, and it was thisguy who I worked on the.
We worked on the rec stafftogether.
We got transferred from FortDodge to Rockwell City together.
(28:50):
We got put in the same room.
We were in the same.
There's 10 guys in the cell andwe were.
I was top bunk, he was bottombunk.
Um knew each other really well.
His name was big shank and hewe had yeah, it's funny name he
was one of the biggest guys, umon the on the camp.
Like he was one of the biggestguys on the camp.
(29:10):
Like he was one of the biggestguys had like a 500-pound bench
press, just a big dude.
And there were two chairs inthe cell and he would always lay
his clothes out over the chair.
Well, we would sometimes needto use a chair and go out and
play cards in the day room orwhatever, and so I would grab
the chair, I'd lay his clothesout on his bed and go and use
(29:33):
the chair, and one day I came inand he's like probably you
aren't going to touch my clothesanymore.
I was like Shank, I need to usea chair.
I laid your clothes on the bed,I didn't throw them on the
floor.
He's like well, I got clothescoming up, coming up missing,
and I already talked to thelaundry guy about it.
And now I'm talking to youbecause I know you touch my
(29:54):
clothes.
I was like Shank, you know me,you know I'm not going to take
your clothes, or three times mysize, I don't need them.
You know who I am.
And at that he got up and hegot right in my face and I
thought he was just going tostand there and try and
intimidate me.
But then he reached up withboth hands, put both hands
(30:15):
around my neck, lift me up offthe ground, shoved me up against
a bunk and I remember I justput my feet against a bunk and
pushed as hard as I could to gethim off of me.
And it completely tore mysweatshirt in half on the way
back, and that was it.
And he went and sat back downon his bunk and we talked like
(30:35):
what, what is going on?
Like what just happened, andthat would have been all it
would have been.
But Johnny was in the roomthere and he really didn't care
for big shank at all, and so assoon as he grabbed me he went
down to the correction officer'sdesk and was like hey, big
guy's choking him, big guy'schoking him, you need to save
(30:57):
him.
And so they came up and ofcourse they heard about a fight.
So then they had to investigateand see if there was, and my
neck was just bright red andshirt torn and everything.
So we both ended up having togo to the hole is what it's
called, so solitary confinement.
And I had this conversationwith him and just starting to
(31:23):
really play back the events thatkind of led up to that and
talking about thisinstitutionalized Big Shank was
up to see this was November andhe was up to see the parole
board in December and he wrote aparole paper, a letter to the
parole board, and he brought itto me and asked if I'd read it.
(31:44):
And this was all this allhappened prior to this event and
I read it and it was kind ofthat mixture between third grade
grammar and gangster talk.
And this guy, he was 43, 44years old.
He had been in prison for 12years.
At this point I remember juststarting to put all the puzzle
(32:05):
pieces together and I thinkthere was just this anxiety of
hey, there's a chance that I cansit before the parole board and
they will release me, and Idon't know how to, how to work
in society.
Like cell phones weren't evenaround before.
He got locked up, hardly sothat institutionalized for guys
(32:26):
that had been in there longer.
Um, it is real like we, we canget stuck in and I think you can
actually use that with theenvironment that you're in, even
out here free.
Like the environment that youput yourself in is going to have
an effect on your life movingforward.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
That's good, that's a good reminder.
Well, I've had some people askand you kind of alluded to you
wanted to be married and you'remarried, you have a family.
Do you mind telling us a littlebit about them?
Speaker 2 (32:59):
Yeah, absolutely.
So I got to share the story ofhow I met my wife.
Yes, so, as I was in RockwellCity Prison, there was a Bible
study that would take place andsome people from the outside
would volunteer and come in andhelp lead it.
And a couple of ladies werecoming in and helping out this
(33:22):
Bible study and I shared mystory a couple of times and just
kind of chatted with them.
Times and just kind of chattedwith them and pretty soon this
lady went and got on Facebookand looked up my parents and
kind of verified my story withmy mom to make sure I wasn't,
you know, telling a big lie,which, believe it or not, that
people lie in prison.
People lie everywhere?
(33:44):
right, they do, that is verytrue.
So then she would go home to to.
She went home to her daughterand she's like you need to meet
this guy.
And her daughter's like mom,are you kidding me?
You want me, you're trying tohook me up with a guy in prison?
Like really so?
Um, jordan came in and it wasjust kind of hi, I'm curtis, hi,
(34:04):
I'm jordan.
There was no other conversationand she came in a couple of
different times and it wasn'tuntil about a year after I had
gotten out of prison.
Jordan worked at HopeMinistries here in Des Moines as
one of the chapel coordinatorsand she asked if I'd come and
share my story to the men at theshelter.
(34:27):
And so I came up here oneafternoon and shared at the
chapel and then I stayed up herein Des Moines with her and her
brother.
They had a house in Johnstonand I stayed with them and that
night we just stayed up talkingabout life until about three,
thirty four o'clock in themorning.
About a week and a half laterwe started dating.
(34:50):
And about a week and a halflater we're sitting there at a
campfire and we look at eachother and say we're going to get
married.
And it took me three months topropose to her and 11 months
after we started dating, we gotmarried.
Speaker 1 (35:08):
Oh my goodness.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
Yeah, that was June 1st of 2013.
Yes, june 1st 2013.
So that was 11 and a half yearsago.
And so, yeah, that story initself.
And I do have to put adisclaimer in here Any of you
young girls that are listeningto this video podcast, do not go
(35:34):
to prison to find your husband.
It's not a great idea.
But, yeah, since then now, godhas blessed us with three kids.
We have Avery, who's nine,brayton, who's seven, who's nine
, brayton, who's seven, andCarter, who is five.
(35:55):
And we live on an acreage outin Dallas Center and my wife and
I own a construction companycabinet shop and God just
continues to bless us with workand we also serve as the young
adult leaders at our church.
And I sit on the elder board atthe church.
Yeah, god is just.
He's pretty cool how he istaken.
(36:16):
If you look at again thatmoment, that could define me,
that the world might say doesdefine me.
If you look at that, and thenwhat God has brought me through
to the point that I am now, Idon't know.
There's no way that you candeny that there is God and that
he will.
He desires to give us blessingsand, yeah, just give us
(36:36):
enjoyment, enjoyment in life too.
Speaker 1 (36:39):
Yeah, I like how you said the defining and the words
and you know the world coulddefine you as a convict or
whatever they would want to.
I'm sure that some people do,just because people are people.
But reminding yourself, no, Iam a, I'm a son of of the most.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
That's right Amen.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
Amen.
Well, this has been so fun, soglad we got to do this.
I always like to end myepisodes.
I'll end with just a couplethis time.
But what are you grateful forright now?
Speaker 2 (37:16):
What am I grateful for?
I am grateful for the peoplethat God has put in my life.
When I am feeling overwhelmedor overburdened or feel like I
have too much going on, thereare people that I can talk to,
that I can go to, to just haveone that to put life into
(37:38):
perspective for me, becausesometimes we can, we can have
blinders on, and so I'm thankful, yeah, I'm grateful for those
people that that God has put inmy life, including my wife and
some really good friends that Ihave right now.
Speaker 1 (37:52):
That's good.
What kindness have you shown orwhat kindness have you received
in the last week?
Speaker 2 (37:58):
I guess a kindness that I have seen is a um, a
young man in our, in our youngadults.
He went out of his way to tomake another person in our, in
our group, uh feel welcomed andvaluable and um, it was just
real cool just to see theconversation we have, a chat
that is between the whole groupand, um, this one girl she's,
(38:23):
she has some mental illnessesand things like that and just to
be able to see this young manjust, even in light of all that,
just go out of his way to beoverly kind and take her out and
have fun and and things likethat, when he definitely didn't
have to.
So it was just a.
It's one of those things thatjust kind of makes you smile.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
That's great.
Well, thank you for being on.
I.
Speaker 2 (39:04):
I don't know which episode I like more.
They were both just so fun andinteresting and just jam-packed
full of wonderful truths aboutGod and about us.
I love encouraging people tonot just talk about God.
Don't separate your life.
Basically Don't separate yourwork life and your God life, or
your family life and your Godlife, or your fun life and your
(39:24):
God life.
It is all God's life, and bethat light in every aspect of
your life.
Be that light for Christ.
He desires every part of us.
He desires that full surrender,and so any chance that I get to
just remind people of that, I'mgoing to jump at the
opportunity for the sake ofChrist.
Speaker 1 (39:43):
Well, thank you.
I appreciate your time and Iknow that our listeners are
going to be so impacted by this,so thank you.
Speaker 2 (39:51):
Absolutely.
You are very welcome.
Speaker 1 (39:54):
Hold on.
Ordinary people, extraordinarythings.
Your story is his glory.
Thank you for listening.
I hope that this podcast hasimpacted and inspired you.
If it has, please share.
This is the best way for othersto find out about ordinary
people, extraordinary things.
Our next guest is Brad Nelson.
You may know him from Walkingthe Text and if you don't,
(40:18):
you're going to be in for a realtreat.
He is one of my favoritespeakers and I'm so glad that he
decided to be on our show.
Welcome to Ordinary People.
Extraordinary Things.
Curtis, you're back, Thank you.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
I am Thank you for having me again.
Yeah, I'm excited.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
So if you have not checked out Curtis's first
interview, we will link that.
You need to listen to thatbecause we're not really going
to go over the same things,because we had so many people
listen and watch and they wantto know more about you, and so
thank you for being on again.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Anytime that God opens the door for me to share
his story through my life.
I'd love the opportunity.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Well, could you give us three words or phrases to
describe what your life is now?
Speaker 2 (00:44):
My life now definitely redeemed the life
that I live now.
If you look at that event thathappened in my life and you look
at it now, the only word thatwould explain that would be
redeemed.
The other blessed.
Blessed beyond measure.
My wife, my kids, just theenvironment that God has put me
(01:06):
in definitely is a blessing tome.
And the third one, I don't know, I would say just content, very
content, with what God hasbrought me through the highs and
the lows, Just this contentmentfor sure.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
That's good, that's really good.
If people don't know who youare, I am going to ask them to
go to episode 84.
It's called forgiveness andpurpose in a jail cell.
You were in jail or prison forabout five years, is that right?
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Yes, that is correct Okay.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
And for second degree murder?
Is that also correct?
Speaker 2 (01:49):
Yeah, I was charged with second degree murder.
The judge, after going throughtrial, the judge ended up
dropping it down to a 10 yearmanslaughter charge.
So instead of the the 50 yearsecond degree murder, I ended up
with a 10 year manslaughtercharge which, because of
overpopulation, the time getscut in half.
(02:09):
So I had the five-year sentencebasically.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Okay, yeah, and if someone's just coming into this,
I'm sure that that piqued theirinterest of.
Okay, what?
What's happening?
Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Go to that story.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
So again go to that story.
But in our first episode youtalked about a man who came to
Jesus while you were in prison.
But then you also kind of foryou to not just I don't be angry
, be frustrated, be I mean,there's so many things that you
(02:57):
could have been or just I'm justgetting through this.
I, you know, I'll just watch TV, I have no idea, but it seems
like you use this time to bedeliberate with where God had
placed you.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Yeah, I had.
It took about three months ofbeing in jail that I was.
I was still stuck in that like,why, why, why, why?
Like God, forgive me, forgiveme, forgive me, forgive me.
And after about three months,it was one night.
I was praying and reading andit was like God said Curtis, I
(03:27):
forgave you the first time youasked.
And I've been standing herewith my arms open, waiting for
you to give your whole life tome.
I don't want just theconvenience of me, of you to
have the convenience of me.
I want you to completelysurrender your life to me, every
step, every word, no matterwhere you are.
And that night, when I realizedthat I was able to fully accept
(03:51):
that forgiveness that God hadgiven me, and then I had to face
that question that you'retalking about, like, okay, what
do I do now?
Like I'm here, yes, I'm herebecause of mistakes that I made.
But what do I do now?
Yes, I'm here because ofmistakes that I made, but what
do I do now?
And that option of just kind ofgetting through and even maybe
being bitter of why do I have togo through this when so many
(04:13):
other people have not have donethe same thing that I did went
out on their 21st and they'renot sitting in here, like, why
do I could have chosen that.
But instead, just the way thatGod impacted me that night I was
able to change my prayer fromGod forgive me to Okay, god,
here I am, I'm your servant, useme where you need me.
(04:36):
And from that point on I Iremember a conversation on the
phone with my, with my parents,and my mom was just obviously
really struggling through thistime and I remember telling her
Mom don't think of this as mebeing in jail, think of this as
me being on the mission field,because in here there are a lot
(05:01):
of people that know God, theyknow God's words.
In fact, most of the guys inthere knew the Bible better than
I did and I grew up my wholelife in the church and in a
Christian home.
But the difference was ispeople didn't live out Jesus,
they didn't walk the walk.
(05:22):
It was all talk over here, butthen when that was done, that
door is shut and you move on andthen you're, you're someone
totally different, and so Irealized pretty quick that
people didn't want to.
In there, people didn't want tohear about God because everyone
knew about God in there and theywanted instead they wanted to
(05:42):
experience who God was throughyour life.
And so pretty soon I figuredout just rubbing shoulders every
day with the guys gave meopportunities.
Just continuing doing the samethings like go every morning I'd
go out in the day room and readmy Bible, and it let that led.
Just that in itself led to guyswould kind of see who I was and
(06:04):
see that I was.
I was different, and they wouldget off the phone and they had
a hard conversation with anattorney or their family and
they would come in my cell andjust open up and just, um, hey,
curtis, you know I'm.
I noticed that you have a faith.
Like can, I is there, I don'tknow what to do here.
(06:26):
Like, this is going on and I'mjust overwhelmed.
And at that time my pastor thathad been coming in had
encouraged me to memorize verses, and so it was amazing how many
times guys would come in andthey would say something and it
would trigger a hey, this verse,right, you need to hear this.
(06:48):
And so I'd just be able tospeak God's word on them.
And it was.
It was amazing just that thatin itself, that interaction that
a lot of guys aren't able tohave because obviously, like you
said, they're not, you're notin that situation.
But being able to be in thatenvironment with them and just
be someone that was justdifferent, allowed me to
(07:11):
minister for Christ in there inmany ways.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
It's really beautiful .
I think of how maybe some ofour listeners are in a job or
somewhere else where they don'twant to be, but I hope that this
encourages them.
Hey, wherever you are, havethat be your mission field.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
Yeah, yeah, and I and I think too, like there's a lot
of times you bring up a goodpoint, like there's a lot of
people that you talk to andthey're just like.
They're just like dredgingthrough life almost Maybe it is
their job that they feel likethey're stuck in, they're like I
just don't have, there's just Idon't have a passion.
And I think if we change ourfocus like we're in there's
(07:55):
different chapters of our lifethat we go through and if we
change our focus from this iswhat I have to go through to hey
, I can be an example for Christ, even in this time that I feel
like is wasted time, it's notgoing to get me anywhere,
there's.
There's nothing good going tocome out of this.
(08:15):
It's it's in those times.
If we just change our focus toOK, god, I don't see the good in
this, I don't see what thefruit that will be produced, but
God used me even in this timein my life.
I think that is something thatwe look past so many times.
We try and look for what's nextinstead of what God has put
(08:37):
right in front of our face.
I think I would encourageeveryone who is listening to
just take a step back and sayokay, what am I looking towards
and what am I missing?
What opportunities has Godgiven me right here, right now
in my life?
Speaker 1 (08:53):
Yeah, and I can't really think of anything more
stuck than in a jail cell, Likeor you know we're talking about.
I feel stuck in this position,I feel stuck in here, but you
are literally stuck.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
A lot of belief.
Yeah, I, and in fact, when I itwas funny, when I well, not
funny, but funny to me like itwas just people would assume
that you know, you need to takesome time and be able to live
again.
Once you, when I got out ofprison, they were like you need
(09:32):
to take some time to yourselfand and start living again.
I'm like I've been living thelast four years like four and a
half five years.
God has has used me even inthere.
It wasn't wasted time.
In fact I, when I go and speaka lot of times I will, I will
share the fact.
I wish I could take back thenight of my 21st birthday and
what happened to Mr McEwen.
But all the time that I spentin jail, all the time that I
spent in prison, it's throughthat time, through that hardest
(09:55):
time in my life, that God turnedme into the man that I'm
supposed to be in him, not who Inecessarily saw myself being or
wanted to be originally, butwho God intended me to be.
It was time that he had my fullattention, you know, and was
able to speak into my life thatI probably wouldn't have given
(10:18):
him the time for if I had allthe distractions of the world.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
I'm sure you must have gotten down, or frustrated,
or depressed, I'm not sure.
But if you did, how did you getout of that situation?
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Yeah, so I can think back to a couple of times that I
did feel overwhelmed, one timein particular.
Well, I'll share two of them.
One time was when a good friendof mine passed away while I was
sitting in jail, someone who Ihad hung out with for the last
(10:54):
two years before my 21stbirthday, and so that time for
me was probably just thatrelationship that I desired, and
I couldn't even be there tojust kind of have that closure.
That was probably one of thehardest times for me in there.
Um, there was another time thatI remember.
(11:15):
I remember, and that time I didlike I just I wept for a couple
of hours and it was, it was coolto see, even in that, some of
the guys uh, comforting, likeshowing, trying to show comfort,
and even I remember this oneguy.
(11:36):
He wrote a poem and he ended upsending it to my parents and it
was all around this event thathappened.
It was just cool to see howeven that in itself could be a
witness.
But another time I remembersitting in there and just
feeling that overwhelmed,feeling overwhelmed and I
(11:57):
desired to cry, I desired tojust feel this like I don't know
, I can't even put it to words,but I desired to just cry and
just be in that pity.
But there was just a peace evenin that that God gave me.
(12:20):
Every day I'd get up and there'dbe 10 new letters or something
from people of my community thatwould send me notes and cards
and things like that, and I justhad this peace, this
overwhelming peace.
That was like no, it's okay,curtis, I have you, I have you
(12:47):
in my arms, and I remember justfeeling that overwhelming
presence of God in that timewhen I was feeling as though I
was overwhelmed, but all I coulddo is just smile and thank God
for him seeing me through thattime.
I don't know if I reallyanswered your question.
There was a time that I feltthat and I wanted to feel it
(13:09):
even more at times.
I think that we can kind of dothat.
We want to feel downtroddensometimes and I think that we
have to remember that God senthis son, jesus to earth to take
care of all that, to conquerthat death, to conquer that
(13:30):
overwhelming feeling.
Yeah, I don't know, it's just.
God just was able to bring mepeace, even in that hardest time
of my life.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
Did you or do you feel shame about?
Speaker 2 (13:45):
what happened?
Yeah, so I got to start thatoff with.
I have a very guilty conscience, to the point of I had a.
I had a girlfriend right out ofhigh school and I ended up,
long story short.
And I ended up, long storyshort, kissing another girl and
(14:12):
I felt so bad the very next dayI had to go and confess that to
my girlfriend.
And so, in saying that, fastforward to this, I remember
sitting in jail and seeing MrMcEwen's face come up on the
screen for the first time on thenews, on the TV, and I remember
(14:34):
, like there was no, there wasno recollection of ever seeing
Mr McEwen prior to that pointand, and To this day I still I
don't have that, that shame.
I think God has protected,protected me from that.
I do have a remorse, if thatmakes sense, that I know that
(15:00):
because of the actions that Ichose to do that night, mr
McEwen ended up dying.
No matter, no matter how thathappened because, since I chose
to go and get drunk the way thatI did, I ended up in his
environment and he ended up dead, and so I think God has has
protected me from that shame,because that that in itself
(15:25):
Satan loves.
He loves shame.
And yeah, and he is going to anychance he gets.
He is going to continue tobring stuff up that we have a
shameful heart towards, or athings that we haven't let go,
that we haven't fullysurrendered to Christ.
I say a lot of times when Ispeak, I talk about that night
(15:49):
that I was talking about earlier, that I realized that God
forgave me, I was able to dosomething that I think every
single one of us needs to do,and we need to fully accept
God's forgiveness.
And in fully accepting God'sforgiveness, we need to be able
to forgive ourselves for thosesins that we have committed.
We need to understand that God,as holy as he is, he's willing
(16:16):
to forgive us.
And if he's willing to forgiveus for those things, then who
are we to say, yeah, but I can'tforgive myself, I can't let go
of that.
Like I deserve this punishment,and God says, no, no, jesus, I
sent him to go of that.
Like I deserve this punishment.
And God says, no, no, I, jesus,I sent him to pay for that.
So fully accept God'sforgiveness.
(16:37):
And in that fully acceptingGod's forgiveness, are there
still consequences for ouractions?
Absolutely, but that, thatshame of man.
I can never get past this,because this is what defines me
in life.
That won't be there.
That won't be there because itis understanding that what Jesus
(17:00):
did on the cross, it matters,it matters and it paid the
penalty in full.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
That's so good.
I know a lot of people livewith shame and I so love your
answer, and I do like how yousaid that remorse and shame are
two different things, right, Ilike that a lot.
How do you not be defined bythis, but then also you're so
willing to talk about it andshare your story.
(17:29):
How do you balance that, Iguess?
Speaker 2 (17:32):
Yeah, I look at, there's a lot of people that do
allow, and I think it is Satanreally making them think back to
one event in their life andtelling them hey, this is who
you are, this is who you reallyare, and that isn't.
God doesn't view us like thatat all.
(17:54):
So, thankfully, through thatforgiveness that God has given
me, that event that happenedthat night with Mr McEwen
doesn't define me.
Mcewen doesn't define me, andbeing able to speak about it, it
allows me to help other people,as you're talking right now.
(18:18):
Help other people understandthat one event in their life
doesn't define who they are.
I mean, you think of a bunch ofexamples in the Bible.
You think of David and the sinwith Bathsheba, or with even
going farther than that and andkilling um, her husband, putting
him on the front line of thewar.
Or you think of the apostlepaul, who was saul, who who
killed christians, who was thereat at stephen stoning, and yet
(18:41):
god still said hey, I want you,you, I choose you to be my
apostle, I love you.
So I think that we need to ifwe are allowing one event in our
life to define who we are,apart from the fact that Jesus
dying on the cross and thatforgiveness he offers, of us
(19:02):
accepting that, that shoulddefine who we are.
If we're allowing anything elseto define who we are, I think we
need to really do some heartsearching and say, okay, god,
have I given this to you, have Iallowed you to take this, or am
I just talking about it andthen pulling it back in?
(19:25):
And so I think I think if weyeah, if we're at a spot where
we're an event in our life wefeel like defines us and there's
a difference, too between usallowing an event to define us
and the world will also putthose defining moments on us,
(19:47):
and we need to separate thatfrom okay, who does God say I am
?
How does God define me?
Well, god calls me his son.
God calls me his daughter.
He doesn't call me murderer orliar or thief or any of those
things.
God calls me you are my son.
(20:08):
So I think we need to.
If we are at a point in ourlife that we're allowing
something to define, we need tosurrender.
Surrender it to God.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
This podcast is all about stories how has telling
your story impacted others andhow has it impacted you?
I'm just always asking peoplenot only to listen to these
stories that we have, but alsoshare their own story.
Right, so could you maybe shareabout how telling my story to
(20:41):
youth groups and stuff?
Speaker 2 (20:55):
And so it began clear back then.
And then when I got out, I wasobviously like asked if I would
come and share.
And I remember the first timethat I spoke was at the Salt
Company in Iowa City in front ofabout 225 college students, and
(21:15):
I had spoke in front of a groupof about 50 one time before
that, before I went to prison,and halfway through my talk I
had passed out, Like so publicspeaking was not my, my deal.
And so I remember going upthere and just feeling this
(21:36):
before I went up there.
You know my heart is justsitting up here just pounding,
but my prayer before was God, Ican't do this, but you can.
And I think, in sharing ourstories of what God has done in
our life, yeah, it's not onlylike encouraging others to see
(21:58):
redemption and to see God's lovein your story, but it is also
helping you surrender, Becausewe become vulnerable as we speak
and share our life.
There's a vulnerability and itis a surrender.
It is okay, God, I'm going todo this, not because I
(22:19):
necessarily want to, but becauseI know that your name is going
to be glorified, and so for meit's surrender, it's God's story
in my life, it's not mine tohold, it's what God has done in
my life, so I'm going tocontinue to share it For other
people.
After about I don't know, I'dbeen probably six months, seven
(22:41):
months, I had been out and I hadshared my story a few times and
I'm just like, OK, what am Idoing?
Is this doing anything?
And I was sitting in churchservice at Veritas Church in
Iowa City and they were doingbaptisms and they do like these
little video testimonies on thescreen before the baptism.
(23:03):
And this young lady gets upthere and pastor is asking her
questions and he said when didyou, when did you to fully
(23:26):
surrender to Christ instead ofjust go through the motions or
do things because it was theright thing to do?
And at that point, for me itwas just that clarification of,
hey, I'm going to use this andknowing that it impacted one
(23:48):
life was enough for me tocontinue.
And I know there's been a lotof other people that it has
impacted and I've heardtestimonies from people.
Some people have emailed me andsent messages and just
encouraged me to continuesharing because of the impact
that it had on them or theirkids or stuff like that.
(24:09):
So yeah, stories, stories arepowerful.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
Wow, that was amazing .
Thank you for sharing that.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
When you got out, was it hard to reenter, was it?
Did you know your purpose, didyou?
I know you said that you feltlike you were ready to go and
you hadn't just been sittingthere and everything like that.
But was it still kind ofdifficult or did you know what
you were going to be doing next?
Speaker 2 (24:37):
Yeah, I had no idea.
I knew that when I had got outI had a job lined up through a
guy in my, in my parents' church, and so I knew that I had to
being on.
I was still on parole at thattime and so I had to have a job
and be in the same area and allthis kind of stuff.
So I didn't, I didn't have thatlike exact purpose, like that
(25:04):
exact hey, where am I going?
But I knew that sometimes weget stuck in not seeing far
ahead in our life and so we'relike well, what am I working
towards if I'm not, if I don'thave that exact direction and I
would say I was probably at thatpoint- in my life, I was one
that after high school, I wasready to settle down and be
(25:26):
married and start a family.
Like that was just a strongdesire in my life.
Obviously, now I'm at thispoint that we're talking about,
I'm about 26, 25, 26.
And I still I still was wasready.
That was something that wasstrong in my life, like I wanted
(25:46):
to find someone that I couldspend the rest of my life with,
and I didn't know exactly whothat was or where that was or
what I was doing, but I knewthat God had had a plan for me
and I knew that, as long as hecontinued to ask me to speak and
and share my story, that hewould continue to provide for me
(26:08):
.
And so no, I didn't.
I didn't have a a exact purpose, and I forget the first part of
that question.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
There's two parts there oh yeah, it was hard to
re-enter society, yeah yeah,re-entering.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
So that was as I um.
When you hear someone sayinstitutionalized people coming
out of prison, that is a realterm.
I was.
You know cell phones were outwhen I went in.
When I came back out, Iremember walking into a Taco
(26:43):
Bell and just being overwhelmedbeing overwhelmed with decisions
that I had to make, and Iremember looking at my mom and
saying what do I do?
And I had ordered at a Taco Bellhundreds of times in my life
before this.
But that four years of nothaving to make decisions it
(27:05):
definitely, it definitely madeit hard.
Like you, I forgot how to drive.
I had to like relearn, likethere's just this anxiety almost
that came with getting in thatcar for the first couple of
times and figuring all thatstuff out, Cause when you, when
you don't do the same stuff overand over again, you do kind of
lose that, um, that skill thatyou have, that you had acquired.
(27:29):
So, yeah, it was hard, but again, like God just continued to
give me opportunities and Ithink, in those times when we
don't know exactly what we'resupposed to do, we just do what
God has told us to do and thatis to continue to live a life
for him, live a life surrenderto him, continue to work out our
(27:49):
salvation, as it says, justcontinue to put one foot in
front of the other until thereis that clear path in front of
you that you know that, hey,this is where God is leading me
in life.
Speaker 1 (28:02):
That's good, and you were in there for, I mean, not
really a short time.
I don't want to minimize thatin any way, but some people are
for a very long time.
I can't imagine howinstitutionalized they must feel
after you know, two, three,four times as long as you were
(28:22):
in there.
That would be difficult,absolutely.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
There's one guy that I kind of after this event, so
we'll kind of take a sidetrackhere, maybe.
So I had one time while I wasin prison that I got in a fight,
so to speak, and it was thisguy who I worked on the.
We worked on the rec stafftogether.
We got transferred from FortDodge to Rockwell City together.
(28:50):
We got put in the same room.
We were in the same.
There's 10 guys in the cell andwe were.
I was top bunk, he was bottombunk.
Um knew each other really well.
His name was big shank and hewe had yeah, it's funny name he
was one of the biggest guys, umon the on the camp.
Like he was one of the biggestguys on the camp.
(29:10):
Like he was one of the biggestguys had like a 500-pound bench
press, just a big dude.
And there were two chairs inthe cell and he would always lay
his clothes out over the chair.
Well, we would sometimes needto use a chair and go out and
play cards in the day room orwhatever, and so I would grab
the chair, I'd lay his clothesout on his bed and go and use
(29:33):
the chair, and one day I came inand he's like probably you
aren't going to touch my clothesanymore.
I was like Shank, I need to usea chair.
I laid your clothes on the bed,I didn't throw them on the
floor.
He's like well, I got clothescoming up, coming up missing,
and I already talked to thelaundry guy about it.
And now I'm talking to youbecause I know you touch my
(29:54):
clothes.
I was like Shank, you know me,you know I'm not going to take
your clothes, or three times mysize, I don't need them.
You know who I am.
And at that he got up and hegot right in my face and I
thought he was just going tostand there and try and
intimidate me.
But then he reached up withboth hands, put both hands
(30:15):
around my neck, lift me up offthe ground, shoved me up against
a bunk and I remember I justput my feet against a bunk and
pushed as hard as I could to gethim off of me.
And it completely tore mysweatshirt in half on the way
back, and that was it.
And he went and sat back downon his bunk and we talked like
(30:35):
what, what is going on?
Like what just happened, andthat would have been all it
would have been.
But Johnny was in the roomthere and he really didn't care
for big shank at all, and so assoon as he grabbed me he went
down to the correction officer'sdesk and was like hey, big
guy's choking him, big guy'schoking him, you need to save
(30:57):
him.
And so they came up and ofcourse they heard about a fight.
So then they had to investigateand see if there was, and my
neck was just bright red andshirt torn and everything.
So we both ended up having togo to the hole is what it's
called, so solitary confinement.
And I had this conversationwith him and just starting to
(31:23):
really play back the events thatkind of led up to that and
talking about thisinstitutionalized Big Shank was
up to see this was November andhe was up to see the parole
board in December and he wrote aparole paper, a letter to the
parole board, and he brought itto me and asked if I'd read it.
(31:44):
And this was all this allhappened prior to this event and
I read it and it was kind ofthat mixture between third grade
grammar and gangster talk.
And this guy, he was 43, 44years old.
He had been in prison for 12years.
At this point I remember juststarting to put all the puzzle
(32:05):
pieces together and I thinkthere was just this anxiety of
hey, there's a chance that I cansit before the parole board and
they will release me, and Idon't know how to, how to work
in society.
Like cell phones weren't evenaround before.
He got locked up, hardly sothat institutionalized for guys
(32:26):
that had been in there longer.
Um, it is real like we, we canget stuck in and I think you can
actually use that with theenvironment that you're in, even
out here free.
Like the environment that youput yourself in is going to have
an effect on your life movingforward.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
That's good, that's a good reminder.
Well, I've had some people askand you kind of alluded to you
wanted to be married and you'remarried, you have a family.
Do you mind telling us a littlebit about them?
Speaker 2 (32:59):
Yeah, absolutely.
So I got to share the story ofhow I met my wife.
Yes, so, as I was in RockwellCity Prison, there was a Bible
study that would take place andsome people from the outside
would volunteer and come in andhelp lead it.
And a couple of ladies werecoming in and helping out this
(33:22):
Bible study and I shared mystory a couple of times and just
kind of chatted with them.
Times and just kind of chattedwith them and pretty soon this
lady went and got on Facebookand looked up my parents and
kind of verified my story withmy mom to make sure I wasn't,
you know, telling a big lie,which, believe it or not, that
people lie in prison.
People lie everywhere?
(33:44):
right, they do, that is verytrue.
So then she would go home to to.
She went home to her daughterand she's like you need to meet
this guy.
And her daughter's like mom,are you kidding me?
You want me, you're trying tohook me up with a guy in prison?
Like really so?
Um, jordan came in and it wasjust kind of hi, I'm curtis, hi,
(34:04):
I'm jordan.
There was no other conversationand she came in a couple of
different times and it wasn'tuntil about a year after I had
gotten out of prison.
Jordan worked at HopeMinistries here in Des Moines as
one of the chapel coordinatorsand she asked if I'd come and
share my story to the men at theshelter.
(34:27):
And so I came up here oneafternoon and shared at the
chapel and then I stayed up herein Des Moines with her and her
brother.
They had a house in Johnstonand I stayed with them and that
night we just stayed up talkingabout life until about three,
thirty four o'clock in themorning.
About a week and a half laterwe started dating.
(34:50):
And about a week and a halflater we're sitting there at a
campfire and we look at eachother and say we're going to get
married.
And it took me three months topropose to her and 11 months
after we started dating, we gotmarried.
Speaker 1 (35:08):
Oh my goodness.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
Yeah, that was June 1st of 2013.
Yes, june 1st 2013.
So that was 11 and a half yearsago.
And so, yeah, that story initself.
And I do have to put adisclaimer in here Any of you
young girls that are listeningto this video podcast, do not go
(35:34):
to prison to find your husband.
It's not a great idea.
But, yeah, since then now, godhas blessed us with three kids.
We have Avery, who's nine,brayton, who's seven, who's nine
, brayton, who's seven, andCarter, who is five.
(35:55):
And we live on an acreage outin Dallas Center and my wife and
I own a construction companycabinet shop and God just
continues to bless us with workand we also serve as the young
adult leaders at our church.
And I sit on the elder board atthe church.
Yeah, god is just.
He's pretty cool how he istaken.
(36:16):
If you look at again thatmoment, that could define me,
that the world might say doesdefine me.
If you look at that, and thenwhat God has brought me through
to the point that I am now, Idon't know.
There's no way that you candeny that there is God and that
he will.
He desires to give us blessingsand, yeah, just give us
(36:36):
enjoyment, enjoyment in life too.
Speaker 1 (36:39):
Yeah, I like how you said the defining and the words
and you know the world coulddefine you as a convict or
whatever they would want to.
I'm sure that some people do,just because people are people.
But reminding yourself, no, Iam a, I'm a son of of the most.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
That's right Amen.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
Amen.
Well, this has been so fun, soglad we got to do this.
I always like to end myepisodes.
I'll end with just a couplethis time.
But what are you grateful forright now?
Speaker 2 (37:16):
What am I grateful for?
I am grateful for the peoplethat God has put in my life.
When I am feeling overwhelmedor overburdened or feel like I
have too much going on, thereare people that I can talk to,
that I can go to, to just haveone that to put life into
(37:38):
perspective for me, becausesometimes we can, we can have
blinders on, and so I'm thankful, yeah, I'm grateful for those
people that that God has put inmy life, including my wife and
some really good friends that Ihave right now.
Speaker 1 (37:52):
That's good.
What kindness have you shown orwhat kindness have you received
in the last week?
Speaker 2 (37:58):
I guess a kindness that I have seen is a um, a
young man in our, in our youngadults.
He went out of his way to tomake another person in our, in
our group, uh feel welcomed andvaluable and um, it was just
real cool just to see theconversation we have, a chat
that is between the whole groupand, um, this one girl she's,
(38:23):
she has some mental illnessesand things like that and just to
be able to see this young manjust, even in light of all that,
just go out of his way to beoverly kind and take her out and
have fun and and things likethat, when he definitely didn't
have to.
So it was just a.
It's one of those things thatjust kind of makes you smile.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
That's great.
Well, thank you for being on.
I.
Speaker 2 (39:04):
I don't know which episode I like more.
They were both just so fun andinteresting and just jam-packed
full of wonderful truths aboutGod and about us.
I love encouraging people tonot just talk about God.
Don't separate your life.
Basically Don't separate yourwork life and your God life, or
your family life and your Godlife, or your fun life and your
(39:24):
God life.
It is all God's life, and bethat light in every aspect of
your life.
Be that light for Christ.
He desires every part of us.
He desires that full surrender,and so any chance that I get to
just remind people of that, I'mgoing to jump at the
opportunity for the sake ofChrist.
Speaker 1 (39:43):
Well, thank you.
I appreciate your time and Iknow that our listeners are
going to be so impacted by this,so thank you.
Speaker 2 (39:51):
Absolutely.
You are very welcome.
Speaker 1 (39:54):
Hold on.
Ordinary people, extraordinarythings.
Your story is his glory.
Thank you for listening.
I hope that this podcast hasimpacted and inspired you.
If it has, please share.
This is the best way for othersto find out about ordinary
people, extraordinary things.
Our next guest is Brad Nelson.
You may know him from Walkingthe Text and if you don't,
(40:18):
you're going to be in for a realtreat.
He is one of my favoritespeakers and I'm so glad that he
decided to be on our show.
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