August 7, 2024 • 26 mins
#283 - Can chaos be tamed? In this episode of Organized Chaos, we sit down with Shelly, a passionate health and wellness coach, who unpacks her recent struggles with maintaining consistency during the whirlwind of selling her house and moving. Shelly's candid account of missed workouts and neglected business activities shines a light on the challenges even the most dedicated professionals face. Listen as we uncover the intertwined nature of her personal aspirations and professional responsibilities, and hear her frustration and resilience firsthand as she battles to regain her momentum.
Balancing work and personal life is never easy, especially with family at the heart of one's goals. Together, we explore how Shelly aims to align her health and business objectives to create quality moments with her loved ones, such as their annual family travels. We share practical tips for maintaining momentum amidst chaos—like fitting in quick exercises and short social media updates, even when pressed for time. The conversation highlights Shelly's journey to not only provide for her family but also to make lasting memories through shared experiences, underscoring the profound connection between professional success and personal fulfillment.
Lastly, we dive into the power of a positive mindset and self-awareness as tools for growth. Shelly and I discuss believing in daily affirmations, shedding self-criticism, and verbalizing thoughts for clarity. We address how even experienced life coaches face their own hurdles and the importance of a supportive community. By shifting from self-doubt to a more empowering narrative, Shelly aims to inspire listeners to pursue their goals with renewed vigor and self-compassion. Join us in this heartfelt episode, and discover how to channel your positive energy towards achieving both personal and professional growth.
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Connect with Teresa on: Instagram or Podcast Website
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Hey, my name is Teresa Hildebrand and this is
Organized Chaos.
We take a deep dive into livingwith intentionality, focusing
on what's important in our livesso we can truly feel our best.
It may feel chaotic at times,but with a little organization,
the right mindset and a ton ofself-love, we can still thrive.
Join me as we talk to otherbusy moms and experts who will
(00:31):
share tips and strategies tohelp you reach your goals.
Hope you enjoy this episode ofOrganized Chaos.
Now on to the show.
I have a special guest heretoday.
We're actually doing anotherlive coaching session and we
have Shelly here with us.
Welcome, shelly.
Well, thank you, I'm glad to behere, yeah, and I am so happy
(00:54):
that you're here with us because, you know, we've known Shelly
for a really long time and sheis amazing at what she does, and
sometimes we just need helpworking through certain issues
or struggles that are kind ofkeeping us from moving forward.
So ask Shelly to come on hereso we can help her through
(01:16):
whatever it is that she wants towork through and see if it
relates with all of you.
So, shelly, what is somethingthat you want to work through
today?
Speaker 2 (01:26):
I'm going to have to say it's my consistency in
actually it's my business, butin my health as well Like I'm
just kind of all over the placeright now and my consistency in
my habits and routines has kindof gone out the window.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
Okay, so tell me a little bit more about that,
describe that to me.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Well, we do have a lot going on.
We're selling our house andwe're moving and such.
So I've been getting to bedlater so I'm not getting up and
doing my morning routine.
So I haven't worked out inprobably I'm going to say three
weeks, maybe longer.
I'm kind of sporadic working onmy business as well and I have
very big goals for both.
So trying to get back intohabits and routines is something
(02:11):
I'm struggling with right now.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Okay, and when was the last time you, you know, had
this thought of?
I'm having trouble with myconsistency here.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
I can say probably this morning, because I did not
set my alarm early enough to getup and work out.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Okay, so you didn't set your alarm to get up and
work out.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
Okay, I nearly give myself enough time to do that.
I didn't even.
Actually, I didn't give myselfenough time to even, like I
normally do, a social media postevery morning.
And I didn't do that eitherbecause I set my alarm such that
I had just enough time to getready for work.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Okay, so this morning you didn't give yourself enough
time, set your alarm to be ableto work out and work on your
business.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Is that?
Speaker 1 (03:00):
right, yeah, okay.
So what's the problem with that?
Speaker 2 (03:04):
I am not getting any closer to my goals if I'm not
doing the actions.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Okay, tell me a little bit more about that.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
Well, I have a fairly big goal with my business.
I work full time and I want tobe able to retire in probably
the three to five year range tobe able to help people full-time
.
I'm not actually retiring, I'mjust retiring from my full-time
job and I want to be able tohelp people in the capacity of
(03:35):
their health, wellness andmental health full-time.
And if I'm not working on mybusiness, I'm not getting any
closer to the goal.
And same with my health andwellness.
I have a pretty big weight lossgoal right now and if I'm not
doing the actions, it's notgoing to happen.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
Okay, and as your are your personal goals and your
business goals related.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
They are because I am a health and wellness coach,
I'm a nutritionist and if I amnot following the things that I
want my clients to follow, thatkind of has a bit of a trust
issue there that I need to beable to show that I'm doing the
same actions that I'm asking myclients to do.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
Okay.
So there's a couple of thingshere, because you kind of
started off with you know you're.
You kind of have a story aboutyou're not getting closer to
your goals because having someproblems with consistency.
But the other thing and why Iasked you if your health goals
(04:44):
were related to your businessgoals was because because you're
having inconsistency or issueswith consistency with both, I
wanted to see how those wererelated and really kind of
showing others, like giving thema little bit more context.
So you did mention somethingabout you know being able to
(05:04):
basically model the behaviorright.
Right, so if you're not able tobe consistent with your
personal and your business goals, what do you feel that is
showing your followers, yourclients, potential clients?
Speaker 2 (05:26):
showing your followers, your clients,
potential clients, that if I'mnot willing to do the work, why
would they be willing and theywould like, if it was me, I
would go to someone that wasbeing very consistent and then I
could work and learn from them.
So it's not getting me anyclients by not modeling that
behavior.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Okay, so just typing this up so I can kind of you
know, show you what what ishappening here.
So you know, this morning youdidn't give yourself enough time
to you know, work out and focuson your health and wellness
(06:12):
business.
And the story that you'retelling yourself is if I'm not
willing to do the work, I'm notgoing to get clients because I'm
not modeling the behavior.
So how does that make you feel?
Speaker 2 (06:28):
It actually makes me feel frustrated with myself.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
Okay, and when you felt frustrated this morning,
what did you do?
Speaker 2 (06:41):
I well, I didn't work on my business and I didn't
work on my health.
I went to the kitchen and had,I had a shower and I had my
coffee and played some games andI went to work.
I didn't even I was kind ofbeating myself up a little bit I
had a conversation with myhusband about it and just went
(07:03):
on my day.
I didn't try, even attempt todo any of the work that I knew I
should be doing.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Okay, and what did you keep yourself from doing?
Speaker 2 (07:15):
I did not do a social media post that I normally try
and do in the morning.
I didn't try and do even 15minutes of workout.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Okay, and what were some of the thoughts that you,
you said you were kind ofbeating yourself up like
describe that to me.
What were some of the thoughtsthat were going on?
Speaker 2 (07:40):
Um, I was telling myself, I know better because I
have been in the health andwellness industry for a really
long time and I know that inorder to reach my goals, I
should be doing the action.
But I just I'm not.
And I'm trying to figure outwhy I'm not.
I feel like I'm kind of in arat race, like circle and tail
(08:05):
kind of thing.
Yeah, because I am, I'm notworking out, so I'm tired, kind
of they all with the fatigue.
I'm not, um, making myself keeptelling myself okay, well, you
need rest.
That's why I set my alarmdifferently.
But then I'm still not, evenlater on in the day, trying to
(08:29):
make attempts to do it.
If my morning's messed up, itseems it's messing up my whole
day.
And then I beat myself upbecause I know better.
Okay.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
So let me bring you back to the top, just so I can
describe kind of how thisthought process is happening and
then what it's ultimatelymanifesting in, and I'll ask you
that at the end.
So this morning you didn't giveyourself enough time to work on
your health and wellnessbusiness and to focus on
(09:02):
yourself like working out, andthe thought that was going
through your mind was I'm notgetting closer or I'm sorry, I'm
not willing to do the work.
If I'm not willing to do thework, I'm not getting, I'm not
going to get any clients right.
And you felt frustrated and theactions that you took were you
didn't work on your business,you didn't work on your health.
(09:24):
You said you played games andthen kind of went to work.
You started beating yourself upand that kind of looked like
telling yourself that I knowbetter and I should be doing
these actions.
And you kind of had thisinternal battle going on of I
know what I need to be doing,but I don't know why I'm not
(09:45):
doing it Right.
And then you didn't attempt todo work afterwards or even do a
social media post or even 15minutes of a workout.
So you kind of knew that maybethere was a little bit you can
do at least, but you didn't dothat.
So what do you think you'remanifesting with these?
Speaker 2 (10:07):
I am manifesting that I'm not getting any closer to
my goals.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Yeah, and that was another story you had, right,
because we will have multiplestories that kind of funnel into
this.
But I wanted to pinpoint kindof like a particular story
because that can kind of lead usin different directions.
It's still kind of in like headvoice space, right, like you're
(10:37):
, like man, I'm not going to getcloser to my goals.
And then you're thinking like,well, I should be modeling the
behavior, I'm not willing to dothe work, like how am I going to
help my clients?
How am I going to find clients?
Right, so it keeps you in thiscycle of, you know, not moving
forward, like not getting closerto your goals.
(10:57):
So they're different stories.
They're different stories.
However, this kind of seems tobe related to you feeling like,
maybe this is a busy season,you're moving, there's things
going on.
Even though you feel like, well, maybe there's a little bit I
can do, you still can't getyourself to do that, because you
are focusing on the story of,well, if I'm not willing to do
(11:20):
the work, I'm not gettingclients.
And it's kind of like we gowith an all or nothing mentality
in this case, because even youhad some thoughts about, well,
maybe I can do 15 minutes of aworkout, or maybe I could do a
little bit of this, right.
So there's always kind of likethis, these thoughts that pop up
, that kind of give you a littlebit of grace, where it's like,
(11:43):
well, maybe I can do this, butthen you know there's a pushback
, right, that's that internalbattle that's going on and like
keeping you in the rat race,right.
Right?
So, in order for you to be ableto even work on like the
consistency piece, right,because there is some
inconsistency here, and we allhave those moments where you
(12:04):
know we're not, we're notperfect, we're not always going
to be like these superstars ofyou know, like habits and
sticking with our habits.
But you know, there are stillthose moments where, like it
peaks a little bit, where you'relike, well, maybe I can do just
a little bit, because sometimesit's really like the small
actions that really add up,right, but so kind of getting
(12:28):
out of this like all or nothingmentality might be the way to go
for you.
So what I want to do is I wantto see what, why it is that it's
important for you to be able tonot only work on your business
but work on your personal health.
Why is that important to you?
Speaker 2 (12:51):
They both actually relate to my family and, like
for my health, I want to bearound for my children.
They're 14 and 16.
So they've got a ways to go intheir life and I want to, you
know, meet my grandchildren andand such, and then for my
business goals.
They're also related to the myfamily, and that I want to give
them a good life and have tripsand things like that um covered
(13:16):
and paid for and have me kind ofmore available because I'm
working full time and have thebusiness on the side.
So I want to be able to have aflexible job to be able to do
things with them and such in thesummertime, especially when
they're off school.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Yeah, so there there are things that you want to do.
You know you want to be aroundfor your kids, right, when they
get older.
You know you want to have, likea you know good health in order
to achieve that, and then youwant to give your family a good
life.
What is a thought that you canhave that can remind you of this
(13:56):
?
That will then actually driveyou to take the actions that you
want to take?
Speaker 2 (14:07):
I know I can make a better life for us by by both
reaching my health goals and mybusiness goals and being able to
do the things that we want todo.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
What's one particular thing you would want to do?
Speaker 2 (14:34):
We as a family want to travel to someplace once a
year, like an all-inclusivedestination, something like that
, or Europe and in order to beable to do these things, I need
to be in good health.
There's a lot of walking andsuch in the places that we want
to go and I want to be able toafford it, so travel is
definitely something that is onour radar.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
Okay.
So what I, what I wrote here,you can tell me what you think
and try it on for size.
Okay, because sometimes youknow the, the thoughts that we
want to elevate.
We, we really truly want towant it to come from ourselves
right, and we want to trulybelieve it, because when we
(15:20):
truly believe it then we cantake the actions that align with
that belief.
If we don't really believe it,then it's going to be really
hard to be able to align thatright.
It's going to be more a forcedaction or misaligned action.
So I wrote here I know I canmake a better life by reaching
(15:42):
my health and business goals tobe able to travel with my family
.
How does that make you feel?
Speaker 2 (15:50):
That actually brings me some excitement that I'm able
to provide that and have thekids look forward to a trip
every year.
We took them on a trip a fewyears ago and they were they
still talk about it to this daylike having those experiences
with them.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
It just brings me a lot of joy.
Yeah, so you already have this,this experience where you know
what it's like and you know howit feels, to be able to provide
that.
So you know, the next time thishappens where you know we we
won't change the facts there'sgoing to be able to provide that
.
So you know, the next time thishappens where you know we won't
change the facts, there's goingto be a day where you don't
give yourself enough time to beable to do some of your health
and fitness activities or workon your business.
(16:36):
But I want you to think aboutthis particular story that you
have now, and this will be areminder of what you can do when
these moments happen again.
So, like you know, like we said, I know I can make a better
life by reaching my health andbusiness goals to be able to
travel with my family, right,and that makes you feel excited.
(16:58):
So, when you're feeling excited, what are some of the actions
that you take, given that thefacts haven't changed?
Speaker 2 (17:07):
But because I know that I can get to my end result
by taking those actions and itmakes me excited to know that at
(17:29):
the end, I'm going to be ableto take the kids on a really
good trip.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
And what else would you be doing?
So you'll be thinking, okay,I'm going to be looking forward
to actually doing the work andthe exercise, even if there's
not a lot of time.
Right, the work and theexercise even if there's not a
lot of time.
Right.
So what is some specific thingsthat you can do which you kind
of talked about when we weregoing through the initial story?
Right, the initial like head ofvoices, where you're like, oh,
(17:53):
I can at least do 15 minutes ofexercise, right?
So do you think that would bepart of the activities that you
do?
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Right, so do you think that would be part of the
activities that you do?
Yeah, like when I get up in themorning, no matter what time it
is, there's specific activitiesthat I was doing and I will be
getting back to that.
Like I'll make sure my socialmedia posts it doesn't have to
be a long one If I don't have alot of time, it can be a short
(18:21):
one Going down to my gym and atleast doing some stretching if
I'm short on time, but reallycoming up with what I'm going to
be doing and when I do myweekly planning, making sure
that.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
I'm incorporating those activities into my week.
Yeah, I think that's going tobe super important, Okay.
So what do you think you'regoing to stop yourself from
doing when you're feelingexcited?
Okay, so what do you thinkyou're going to stop yourself?
Speaker 2 (18:43):
from doing when you're feeling excited.
I will not beat myself up whenI'm excited.
Yeah, I will just be in abetter head place to move
forward with the activities thatI need to do, like connecting
(19:04):
with people and, just, you know,coming up with better energy
when I'm on social media andthings like that.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
Yeah, you'll be showing up with different energy
and attracting people becausethat energy is really important.
What are some of the thoughtsthat you might have with this
kind of different thoughtprocess?
Speaker 2 (19:26):
I will actually believe what I write down every
morning when I say I can make adifference in mine and others'
lives.
I write that down every morningand I will actually believe
that I can.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
Believe your affirmations, right, yeah, okay,
all right, so let's walkthrough this.
So the facts haven't changedright.
We'll still have those momentswhere you know you won't have
enough time to do some of thethings that you need to do for
your business and for yourhealth, but your new story will
(20:00):
be I know I can make a betterlife by reaching my health and
business goals to be able totravel with my family, and that
makes you feel excited, and whenyou're feeling excited, you
look forward to actually workingon your business and exercising
.
You'll make sure you have sometype of social media posts.
You'll do at least somestretching for your health.
You'll do weekly planning sothat things come up like this
(20:24):
you actually have something thatyou won't have to scramble,
right?
You're not going to beatyourself up.
You'll be in better headspaceand you'll also want to connect
with people and actually believeyour affirmations that you do
every day.
So, with all of that, what doyou think you'll be manifesting?
Speaker 2 (20:46):
I think I would manifest growth in my business
and getting closer to my healthgoals.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
Yeah, because, like we said at the very beginning,
they're related.
Yeah, so a growth in yourbusiness and improvement in your
health Is that what you said?
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Yeah, so so, with all of this, how, how do you feel
now?
Speaker 2 (21:15):
Talking through it just kind of gives me that
excitement that I can do thisand I just need to plan out and
take action.
So good that I, you know,talked about it.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
Yeah, and it is.
It is really helpful to saythings out loud, because most of
the time we're just talking inour head right.
And we're trying to kind of dotwo things at once.
First we're trying to figureout how to find a solution for
our problem, and also we're kindof beating ourselves up and
(21:57):
kind of talking ourselves out ofdoing things.
So it's kind of like thatsaying goes where you can't find
a solution for your problemswhen your actual mind is what
created the problem.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
Right.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
So this is why it's so important to have someone
else, or you, to be able to saythings out loud, but to have a
different perspective, rightyeah, because I am not Shelly,
so I'm looking from a bird's eyeview of what I see going on.
So you do this for your clientsas well, right?
(22:36):
You?
Not only help with health andnutrition.
Right, you know you not onlyhelp with, you know health and
nutrition, but you're also alife coach yeah, an advanced
life coach so you can providethis to other people as well.
So you understand how our mindswork and how it plays games
with us.
Yeah, because you know thethings that you're doing.
(23:00):
And the frustration that you'refeeling is just because you
know there's different thingsthat maybe we fear, or you know
it's too hard and our mind justreally wants to make things
easier and sometimes it thinksthat not doing things and
keeping yourself from goingoutside of your comfort zone is
(23:22):
easier and safer.
Right, but we're we're notdoing any of that Like we want.
We want to reach big goals, youknow doing.
Having a better life for yourfamily and being able to travel
with them is is big, but it'sall scary because there's work
to be done.
Yeah, so, yeah.
(23:44):
So I hope that was helpful foryou.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
It definitely was Even as a life coach, knowing
how the brain works and stuff.
We still beat each other orbeat ourselves up and that's
sometimes I think it's evenworse because that voice was
saying you know better.
But I felt kind of stuck still.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
Yeah, and you know, what do you think is the benefit
?
To say, well, I should do thisor I know better, I should be
doing this.
Right, there really isn't abenefit.
No, there really isn't.
And you're right, we cansometimes be our worst enemies
and even even though we knowwhat's going on, um, we're human
(24:28):
.
Yeah, so it's gonna happen.
Anyways, it's just about howlong are you gonna stay in that?
Right, because you mentioned,you know, there's like this
internal batter, it's like a ratrace.
Well, how long do you want tostay in that?
Right?
It's like it's about becomingaware of what we're doing and
(24:49):
then choosing not to continue togo down that path.
Right, choosing to focus on,you know, a goal and a desire to
be able to provide this foryour family.
And then we just have to figureout like, okay, well, what's
the best way to do that?
Focus on that story, but alsolike, what is that story going
(25:10):
to manifest in?
And it'll manifest into what itis that you want, instead of
your old story of questioningwhether you can do things and,
you know, feeling down andbeating yourself up about it,
right?
Speaker 2 (25:24):
Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
Yeah, okay, well, I'm glad that was helpful, shelly,
and I, you know, I look forwardto seeing all of the great stuff
that you're you're doing andyou know I'm super excited for
you to be able to hold on tothis story and, you know, get
back on track, but then alsogive yourself grace when that
(25:45):
doesn't happen, right, becausewe're humans.
So, thank you so much, shelly,thank you.
So, thank you.
Guys thought, if you related tothis particular struggle or if
there's something else that youfeel like you're struggling with
(26:06):
as far as your health, yourfamily or your business, I'd
love to hear it in the commentsbelow.
But thank you so much for beinghere, shelley.
Again, thank you, and I hopeeveryone has a great day.
Hey, my name is Teresa Hildebrand and this is
Organized Chaos.
We take a deep dive into livingwith intentionality, focusing
on what's important in our livesso we can truly feel our best.
It may feel chaotic at times,but with a little organization,
the right mindset and a ton ofself-love, we can still thrive.
Join me as we talk to otherbusy moms and experts who will
(00:31):
share tips and strategies tohelp you reach your goals.
Hope you enjoy this episode ofOrganized Chaos.
Now on to the show.
I have a special guest heretoday.
We're actually doing anotherlive coaching session and we
have Shelly here with us.
Welcome, shelly.
Well, thank you, I'm glad to behere, yeah, and I am so happy
(00:54):
that you're here with us because, you know, we've known Shelly
for a really long time and sheis amazing at what she does, and
sometimes we just need helpworking through certain issues
or struggles that are kind ofkeeping us from moving forward.
So ask Shelly to come on hereso we can help her through
(01:16):
whatever it is that she wants towork through and see if it
relates with all of you.
So, shelly, what is somethingthat you want to work through
today?
Speaker 2 (01:26):
I'm going to have to say it's my consistency in
actually it's my business, butin my health as well Like I'm
just kind of all over the placeright now and my consistency in
my habits and routines has kindof gone out the window.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
Okay, so tell me a little bit more about that,
describe that to me.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Well, we do have a lot going on.
We're selling our house andwe're moving and such.
So I've been getting to bedlater so I'm not getting up and
doing my morning routine.
So I haven't worked out inprobably I'm going to say three
weeks, maybe longer.
I'm kind of sporadic working onmy business as well and I have
very big goals for both.
So trying to get back intohabits and routines is something
(02:11):
I'm struggling with right now.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Okay, and when was the last time you, you know, had
this thought of?
I'm having trouble with myconsistency here.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
I can say probably this morning, because I did not
set my alarm early enough to getup and work out.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Okay, so you didn't set your alarm to get up and
work out.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
Okay, I nearly give myself enough time to do that.
I didn't even.
Actually, I didn't give myselfenough time to even, like I
normally do, a social media postevery morning.
And I didn't do that eitherbecause I set my alarm such that
I had just enough time to getready for work.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Okay, so this morning you didn't give yourself enough
time, set your alarm to be ableto work out and work on your
business.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Is that?
Speaker 1 (03:00):
right, yeah, okay.
So what's the problem with that?
Speaker 2 (03:04):
I am not getting any closer to my goals if I'm not
doing the actions.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Okay, tell me a little bit more about that.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
Well, I have a fairly big goal with my business.
I work full time and I want tobe able to retire in probably
the three to five year range tobe able to help people full-time
.
I'm not actually retiring, I'mjust retiring from my full-time
job and I want to be able tohelp people in the capacity of
(03:35):
their health, wellness andmental health full-time.
And if I'm not working on mybusiness, I'm not getting any
closer to the goal.
And same with my health andwellness.
I have a pretty big weight lossgoal right now and if I'm not
doing the actions, it's notgoing to happen.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
Okay, and as your are your personal goals and your
business goals related.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
They are because I am a health and wellness coach,
I'm a nutritionist and if I amnot following the things that I
want my clients to follow, thatkind of has a bit of a trust
issue there that I need to beable to show that I'm doing the
same actions that I'm asking myclients to do.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
Okay.
So there's a couple of thingshere, because you kind of
started off with you know you're.
You kind of have a story aboutyou're not getting closer to
your goals because having someproblems with consistency.
But the other thing and why Iasked you if your health goals
(04:44):
were related to your businessgoals was because because you're
having inconsistency or issueswith consistency with both, I
wanted to see how those wererelated and really kind of
showing others, like giving thema little bit more context.
So you did mention somethingabout you know being able to
(05:04):
basically model the behaviorright.
Right, so if you're not able tobe consistent with your
personal and your business goals, what do you feel that is
showing your followers, yourclients, potential clients?
Speaker 2 (05:26):
showing your followers, your clients,
potential clients, that if I'mnot willing to do the work, why
would they be willing and theywould like, if it was me, I
would go to someone that wasbeing very consistent and then I
could work and learn from them.
So it's not getting me anyclients by not modeling that
behavior.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Okay, so just typing this up so I can kind of you
know, show you what what ishappening here.
So you know, this morning youdidn't give yourself enough time
to you know, work out and focuson your health and wellness
(06:12):
business.
And the story that you'retelling yourself is if I'm not
willing to do the work, I'm notgoing to get clients because I'm
not modeling the behavior.
So how does that make you feel?
Speaker 2 (06:28):
It actually makes me feel frustrated with myself.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
Okay, and when you felt frustrated this morning,
what did you do?
Speaker 2 (06:41):
I well, I didn't work on my business and I didn't
work on my health.
I went to the kitchen and had,I had a shower and I had my
coffee and played some games andI went to work.
I didn't even I was kind ofbeating myself up a little bit I
had a conversation with myhusband about it and just went
(07:03):
on my day.
I didn't try, even attempt todo any of the work that I knew I
should be doing.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Okay, and what did you keep yourself from doing?
Speaker 2 (07:15):
I did not do a social media post that I normally try
and do in the morning.
I didn't try and do even 15minutes of workout.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Okay, and what were some of the thoughts that you,
you said you were kind ofbeating yourself up like
describe that to me.
What were some of the thoughtsthat were going on?
Speaker 2 (07:40):
Um, I was telling myself, I know better because I
have been in the health andwellness industry for a really
long time and I know that inorder to reach my goals, I
should be doing the action.
But I just I'm not.
And I'm trying to figure outwhy I'm not.
I feel like I'm kind of in arat race, like circle and tail
(08:05):
kind of thing.
Yeah, because I am, I'm notworking out, so I'm tired, kind
of they all with the fatigue.
I'm not, um, making myself keeptelling myself okay, well, you
need rest.
That's why I set my alarmdifferently.
But then I'm still not, evenlater on in the day, trying to
(08:29):
make attempts to do it.
If my morning's messed up, itseems it's messing up my whole
day.
And then I beat myself upbecause I know better.
Okay.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
So let me bring you back to the top, just so I can
describe kind of how thisthought process is happening and
then what it's ultimatelymanifesting in, and I'll ask you
that at the end.
So this morning you didn't giveyourself enough time to work on
your health and wellnessbusiness and to focus on
(09:02):
yourself like working out, andthe thought that was going
through your mind was I'm notgetting closer or I'm sorry, I'm
not willing to do the work.
If I'm not willing to do thework, I'm not getting, I'm not
going to get any clients right.
And you felt frustrated and theactions that you took were you
didn't work on your business,you didn't work on your health.
(09:24):
You said you played games andthen kind of went to work.
You started beating yourself upand that kind of looked like
telling yourself that I knowbetter and I should be doing
these actions.
And you kind of had thisinternal battle going on of I
know what I need to be doing,but I don't know why I'm not
(09:45):
doing it Right.
And then you didn't attempt todo work afterwards or even do a
social media post or even 15minutes of a workout.
So you kind of knew that maybethere was a little bit you can
do at least, but you didn't dothat.
So what do you think you'remanifesting with these?
Speaker 2 (10:07):
I am manifesting that I'm not getting any closer to
my goals.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Yeah, and that was another story you had, right,
because we will have multiplestories that kind of funnel into
this.
But I wanted to pinpoint kindof like a particular story
because that can kind of lead usin different directions.
It's still kind of in like headvoice space, right, like you're
(10:37):
, like man, I'm not going to getcloser to my goals.
And then you're thinking like,well, I should be modeling the
behavior, I'm not willing to dothe work, like how am I going to
help my clients?
How am I going to find clients?
Right, so it keeps you in thiscycle of, you know, not moving
forward, like not getting closerto your goals.
(10:57):
So they're different stories.
They're different stories.
However, this kind of seems tobe related to you feeling like,
maybe this is a busy season,you're moving, there's things
going on.
Even though you feel like, well, maybe there's a little bit I
can do, you still can't getyourself to do that, because you
are focusing on the story of,well, if I'm not willing to do
(11:20):
the work, I'm not gettingclients.
And it's kind of like we gowith an all or nothing mentality
in this case, because even youhad some thoughts about, well,
maybe I can do 15 minutes of aworkout, or maybe I could do a
little bit of this, right.
So there's always kind of likethis, these thoughts that pop up
, that kind of give you a littlebit of grace, where it's like,
(11:43):
well, maybe I can do this, butthen you know there's a pushback
, right, that's that internalbattle that's going on and like
keeping you in the rat race,right.
Right?
So, in order for you to be ableto even work on like the
consistency piece, right,because there is some
inconsistency here, and we allhave those moments where you
(12:04):
know we're not, we're notperfect, we're not always going
to be like these superstars ofyou know, like habits and
sticking with our habits.
But you know, there are stillthose moments where, like it
peaks a little bit, where you'relike, well, maybe I can do just
a little bit, because sometimesit's really like the small
actions that really add up,right, but so kind of getting
(12:28):
out of this like all or nothingmentality might be the way to go
for you.
So what I want to do is I wantto see what, why it is that it's
important for you to be able tonot only work on your business
but work on your personal health.
Why is that important to you?
Speaker 2 (12:51):
They both actually relate to my family and, like
for my health, I want to bearound for my children.
They're 14 and 16.
So they've got a ways to go intheir life and I want to, you
know, meet my grandchildren andand such, and then for my
business goals.
They're also related to the myfamily, and that I want to give
them a good life and have tripsand things like that um covered
(13:16):
and paid for and have me kind ofmore available because I'm
working full time and have thebusiness on the side.
So I want to be able to have aflexible job to be able to do
things with them and such in thesummertime, especially when
they're off school.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Yeah, so there there are things that you want to do.
You know you want to be aroundfor your kids, right, when they
get older.
You know you want to have, likea you know good health in order
to achieve that, and then youwant to give your family a good
life.
What is a thought that you canhave that can remind you of this
(13:56):
?
That will then actually driveyou to take the actions that you
want to take?
Speaker 2 (14:07):
I know I can make a better life for us by by both
reaching my health goals and mybusiness goals and being able to
do the things that we want todo.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
What's one particular thing you would want to do?
Speaker 2 (14:34):
We as a family want to travel to someplace once a
year, like an all-inclusivedestination, something like that
, or Europe and in order to beable to do these things, I need
to be in good health.
There's a lot of walking andsuch in the places that we want
to go and I want to be able toafford it, so travel is
definitely something that is onour radar.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
Okay.
So what I, what I wrote here,you can tell me what you think
and try it on for size.
Okay, because sometimes youknow the, the thoughts that we
want to elevate.
We, we really truly want towant it to come from ourselves
right, and we want to trulybelieve it, because when we
(15:20):
truly believe it then we cantake the actions that align with
that belief.
If we don't really believe it,then it's going to be really
hard to be able to align thatright.
It's going to be more a forcedaction or misaligned action.
So I wrote here I know I canmake a better life by reaching
(15:42):
my health and business goals tobe able to travel with my family
.
How does that make you feel?
Speaker 2 (15:50):
That actually brings me some excitement that I'm able
to provide that and have thekids look forward to a trip
every year.
We took them on a trip a fewyears ago and they were they
still talk about it to this daylike having those experiences
with them.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
It just brings me a lot of joy.
Yeah, so you already have this,this experience where you know
what it's like and you know howit feels, to be able to provide
that.
So you know, the next time thishappens where you know we we
won't change the facts there'sgoing to be able to provide that
.
So you know, the next time thishappens where you know we won't
change the facts, there's goingto be a day where you don't
give yourself enough time to beable to do some of your health
and fitness activities or workon your business.
(16:36):
But I want you to think aboutthis particular story that you
have now, and this will be areminder of what you can do when
these moments happen again.
So, like you know, like we said, I know I can make a better
life by reaching my health andbusiness goals to be able to
travel with my family, right,and that makes you feel excited.
(16:58):
So, when you're feeling excited, what are some of the actions
that you take, given that thefacts haven't changed?
Speaker 2 (17:07):
But because I know that I can get to my end result
by taking those actions and itmakes me excited to know that at
(17:29):
the end, I'm going to be ableto take the kids on a really
good trip.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
And what else would you be doing?
So you'll be thinking, okay,I'm going to be looking forward
to actually doing the work andthe exercise, even if there's
not a lot of time.
Right, the work and theexercise even if there's not a
lot of time.
Right.
So what is some specific thingsthat you can do which you kind
of talked about when we weregoing through the initial story?
Right, the initial like head ofvoices, where you're like, oh,
(17:53):
I can at least do 15 minutes ofexercise, right?
So do you think that would bepart of the activities that you
do?
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Right, so do you think that would be part of the
activities that you do?
Yeah, like when I get up in themorning, no matter what time it
is, there's specific activitiesthat I was doing and I will be
getting back to that.
Like I'll make sure my socialmedia posts it doesn't have to
be a long one If I don't have alot of time, it can be a short
(18:21):
one Going down to my gym and atleast doing some stretching if
I'm short on time, but reallycoming up with what I'm going to
be doing and when I do myweekly planning, making sure
that.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
I'm incorporating those activities into my week.
Yeah, I think that's going tobe super important, Okay.
So what do you think you'regoing to stop yourself from
doing when you're feelingexcited?
Okay, so what do you thinkyou're going to stop yourself?
Speaker 2 (18:43):
from doing when you're feeling excited.
I will not beat myself up whenI'm excited.
Yeah, I will just be in abetter head place to move
forward with the activities thatI need to do, like connecting
(19:04):
with people and, just, you know,coming up with better energy
when I'm on social media andthings like that.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
Yeah, you'll be showing up with different energy
and attracting people becausethat energy is really important.
What are some of the thoughtsthat you might have with this
kind of different thoughtprocess?
Speaker 2 (19:26):
I will actually believe what I write down every
morning when I say I can make adifference in mine and others'
lives.
I write that down every morningand I will actually believe
that I can.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
Believe your affirmations, right, yeah, okay,
all right, so let's walkthrough this.
So the facts haven't changedright.
We'll still have those momentswhere you know you won't have
enough time to do some of thethings that you need to do for
your business and for yourhealth, but your new story will
(20:00):
be I know I can make a betterlife by reaching my health and
business goals to be able totravel with my family, and that
makes you feel excited, and whenyou're feeling excited, you
look forward to actually workingon your business and exercising
.
You'll make sure you have sometype of social media posts.
You'll do at least somestretching for your health.
You'll do weekly planning sothat things come up like this
(20:24):
you actually have something thatyou won't have to scramble,
right?
You're not going to beatyourself up.
You'll be in better headspaceand you'll also want to connect
with people and actually believeyour affirmations that you do
every day.
So, with all of that, what doyou think you'll be manifesting?
Speaker 2 (20:46):
I think I would manifest growth in my business
and getting closer to my healthgoals.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
Yeah, because, like we said at the very beginning,
they're related.
Yeah, so a growth in yourbusiness and improvement in your
health Is that what you said?
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Yeah, so so, with all of this, how, how do you feel
now?
Speaker 2 (21:15):
Talking through it just kind of gives me that
excitement that I can do thisand I just need to plan out and
take action.
So good that I, you know,talked about it.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
Yeah, and it is.
It is really helpful to saythings out loud, because most of
the time we're just talking inour head right.
And we're trying to kind of dotwo things at once.
First we're trying to figureout how to find a solution for
our problem, and also we're kindof beating ourselves up and
(21:57):
kind of talking ourselves out ofdoing things.
So it's kind of like thatsaying goes where you can't find
a solution for your problemswhen your actual mind is what
created the problem.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
Right.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
So this is why it's so important to have someone
else, or you, to be able to saythings out loud, but to have a
different perspective, rightyeah, because I am not Shelly,
so I'm looking from a bird's eyeview of what I see going on.
So you do this for your clientsas well, right?
(22:36):
You?
Not only help with health andnutrition.
Right, you know you not onlyhelp with, you know health and
nutrition, but you're also alife coach yeah, an advanced
life coach so you can providethis to other people as well.
So you understand how our mindswork and how it plays games
with us.
Yeah, because you know thethings that you're doing.
(23:00):
And the frustration that you'refeeling is just because you
know there's different thingsthat maybe we fear, or you know
it's too hard and our mind justreally wants to make things
easier and sometimes it thinksthat not doing things and
keeping yourself from goingoutside of your comfort zone is
(23:22):
easier and safer.
Right, but we're we're notdoing any of that Like we want.
We want to reach big goals, youknow doing.
Having a better life for yourfamily and being able to travel
with them is is big, but it'sall scary because there's work
to be done.
Yeah, so, yeah.
(23:44):
So I hope that was helpful foryou.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
It definitely was Even as a life coach, knowing
how the brain works and stuff.
We still beat each other orbeat ourselves up and that's
sometimes I think it's evenworse because that voice was
saying you know better.
But I felt kind of stuck still.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
Yeah, and you know, what do you think is the benefit
?
To say, well, I should do thisor I know better, I should be
doing this.
Right, there really isn't abenefit.
No, there really isn't.
And you're right, we cansometimes be our worst enemies
and even even though we knowwhat's going on, um, we're human
(24:28):
.
Yeah, so it's gonna happen.
Anyways, it's just about howlong are you gonna stay in that?
Right, because you mentioned,you know, there's like this
internal batter, it's like a ratrace.
Well, how long do you want tostay in that?
Right?
It's like it's about becomingaware of what we're doing and
(24:49):
then choosing not to continue togo down that path.
Right, choosing to focus on,you know, a goal and a desire to
be able to provide this foryour family.
And then we just have to figureout like, okay, well, what's
the best way to do that?
Focus on that story, but alsolike, what is that story going
(25:10):
to manifest in?
And it'll manifest into what itis that you want, instead of
your old story of questioningwhether you can do things and,
you know, feeling down andbeating yourself up about it,
right?
Speaker 2 (25:24):
Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
Yeah, okay, well, I'm glad that was helpful, shelly,
and I, you know, I look forwardto seeing all of the great stuff
that you're you're doing andyou know I'm super excited for
you to be able to hold on tothis story and, you know, get
back on track, but then alsogive yourself grace when that
(25:45):
doesn't happen, right, becausewe're humans.
So, thank you so much, shelly,thank you.
So, thank you.
Guys thought, if you related tothis particular struggle or if
there's something else that youfeel like you're struggling with
(26:06):
as far as your health, yourfamily or your business, I'd
love to hear it in the commentsbelow.
But thank you so much for beinghere, shelley.
Again, thank you, and I hopeeveryone has a great day.
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