January 18, 2025 • 30 mins
(Welcome to our new podcast! We are dropping 4 episodes initial but stay tuned for a weekly release every Friday.)
Can you imagine balancing the chaos of nearly five teenagers, homeschooling, and a flock of chickens, all while unraveling the mystery of a genetic mutation within your family? Join us on a rollercoaster adventure through our lively household, where towering laundry piles and staggering grocery bills are just the beginning. We take you on a journey of unexpected discoveries, sharing the moment we learned about Ben's unique genetic makeup and the peculiar hospital call that sparked our curiosity. Prepare for laughter, surprises, and a peek into the whirlwind that is our daily life.
Ever wondered how a single diagnosis can shift your entire perspective on parenting? We candidly recount our emotional experiences navigating our son's autism diagnosis, transforming what initially felt like an insurmountable challenge into a celebration of his unique gifts, like his perfect pitch. Our stories include heartwarming and humorous insights into therapies that helped us embrace our son's individuality. This episode is a testament to finding joy in the unexpected and appreciating the quirks that make our family truly special.
To find out more about the "Son‑Rise Program" mentioned in this episode, see https://autismtreatmentcenter.org/what-is-the-son-rise-program/
Your Listening to our 1 blessed mess, with ben and liz
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Liz (00:08):
All right, welcome to our one blessed mess.
We're Ben and Liz and we'reparents of six kids that we had
in eight years.
We are keepers of eightchickens.
We're currently homeschooling.
We also have a entrepreneurialhome and in the midst of it we
have how many teenagers.
Ben (00:27):
We have four teenagers, about to be five teenagers.
Five Let that sink in just amoment.
Yeah, almost five teenagers.
Liz (00:35):
Five teenagers.
I mean we're basically runninga youth group in our house.
You should see our food bill.
It is unbelievable how muchfood these kids can eat, or the
laundry stacks.
Ben (00:46):
They're very big.
Liz (00:48):
How about the smell when you walk into these teenage
boys' rooms?
I mean, it's real.
Ben (00:53):
It's almost like a wet dog smell.
I don't know how else to say it.
It's kind of unappealing.
I would say that maybe.
Liz (01:04):
Look, I just come in with air freshener.
I'm putting thieves everywhereessential oils, everything that
I can think of.
But here's the deal.
We have got an awesome topicthat we want to dive into today,
and it's pretty fun because Ididn't know that when I married
this lovely man that is myhusband, that I actually married
a mutant Ben's a mutant.
(01:25):
Why don't you tell them?
Ben (01:27):
It's true, I had some genetic testing done and,
believe it or not, I have amutation on the 14th chromosomal
pairing.
I think I'm saying that right,don't crucify me.
Is it the short?
Liz (01:41):
arm.
Wait, is it the short arm?
Wait, how do we do this?
Is it the short arm or the longarm?
How do you do that?
I?
Ben (01:47):
don't know.
You mean the T-Rex arm.
Is that what you're saying?
Yeah, that's what I was tryingto say, and then how do you do
the long arm, short arm?
Liz (01:53):
Yeah, I don't know.
Anyway, so there's a mutationno-transcript kind of rising
(02:31):
more, and he had just receivedhis diagnosis and so they wanted
to test this.
They paid for it, which waspretty awesome, the children's
hospital we were at.
Ben (02:40):
And then it was like a really in-depth form of testing,
like a micro array or somethingor other test.
It was very specific, it wasvery costly.
I think if we had to pay for itit was going to be like about
10 grand for each test, eachyeah.
Liz (02:53):
So, we would never do it, we didn't have the money for it.
So we agreed to it because whynot?
And anyway, something comesback and they say we would like
to get your DNA done for you,parents, we found something in
our son and we want to see ifyou know, if there's something
that's there and anyway ended upbeing that they rushed us
(03:18):
through.
Normally takes six months andwithin I think, like a couple of
weeks we were in thegeneticist's office.
But before we went into thegeneticist's office which, by
the way, if you've never been infront of a geneticist, it is
the weirdest experience.
It's weird.
Why is it weird?
Ben (03:36):
Well, it's weird because the whole time when you're there
, they're looking at you.
They're like looking at theproportion of your head, they're
checking the size of your ears,your nose, and it feels like
you're kind of like Naked.
Yeah, like you just Naked.
They're just analyzing you, youknow and trying to figure out oh
okay, could it be this, couldit be?
And I think we found out later.
It's like there's so manythings that are determined by
(03:59):
our genetics you know the shapeof our faces, all these things
and so, like, if you've gotsomeone that studies this all
the time, then they're able topick out, um, these these things
and see if, like your, your DNAkind of matches your physical
form and and and what's drivingwhat.
And so it felt like you werejust being analyzed.
Liz (04:17):
It was wild and and here's the crazy thing we didn't even
bring our son.
Ben (04:22):
Right.
Liz (04:22):
The guy was like the doctor was like you didn't bring your
son.
No, Nobody told us to bring ourson, so then we had to get
another appointment God blessthem.
And people are on the wait listfor over six months just to get
an appointment.
You're on the wait list for sixmonths to get an appointment
within six months.
Ben (04:39):
But we should say so, okay, so.
Liz (04:41):
Yeah, so tell the story.
Ben (04:48):
So say so, okay, so yeah, so tell the story.
So they get the test right,right.
Liz (04:49):
And then the geneticist is like okay, we want you two to do
it, and so we're waiting abouta week or two, I don't remember
exactly how long, very quick,apparently I you get a phone
call first, right, yeah, I get aphone call, I'm at home with
the kids and I get a phone calland the lady on the other line I
have caller id.
Back then we had caller ID andI knew it was from the hospital.
I knew where it was from andshe says is your husband there?
I said no, but I'm his wife,can you tell me?
(05:12):
And she said no, I need tospeak with him directly.
And I'm thinking, oh my gosh,okay.
I said well, he's at work,here's his number, give him a
call.
So back then we had IM, instantMessenger on AOL, I think it
was AOL, wasn't it?
Ben (05:24):
Or was it Gmail?
I don't know.
I don't want to get into allthat because, good God help us,
okay.
Liz (05:28):
Anyways, because Ben can go down that rabbit trail about
all the technologies and I'mjust like did it work?
Okay, we did it Okay.
So, anywho, I quickly messagehim and say, hey, Right, so you
get a call.
Ben (05:43):
Yeah.
So I get a call and I can'tremember if it was the
geneticist or if it was someonehelping, but they asked me how I
was feeling.
It's like.
I pick up the phone I'm like hi, is this Ben?
Yes, this is he.
He's like well, sir, this issomeone for the doctor's office
(06:04):
and I just would like to knowhow you're feeling today and, by
the way, are you sitting down?
And so a couple of things aregoing through my head.
When they asked this questionbecause it was news to them that
I had some type of geneticabnormality.
But think about it, I've neverbeen without that genetic
(06:25):
abnormality.
So my normal, I would neverknow if I'm feeling okay or not
based on not having thisdeficiency or mutation.
Right, it was almost like theywere asking me if I had a cold
and if I was able to know thedifference between having a cold
and not having a cold.
So it's just wild, right?
Liz (06:43):
Yes, it was wild.
Ben (06:44):
I've never not known what it feels like to not be a mutant
.
So yeah, it was a weird way tostart out.
Liz (06:51):
So they tell him basically, you, basically there's this,
whatever, whatever.
We want you to come in and wewant to talk to you.
So we do, we go in and,honestly, there was only one
other person at the time andwhat they told us is that as
they're doing this genetictesting, they're going to find
people all over the world withall kinds of abnormalities.
(07:12):
Why is that word so hard for me?
Anybody else out there have anissue with saying words
sometimes?
Ben (07:17):
Not to go down a rabbit hole, but it might be kind of
your thing.
That's okay, we all have things.
I'm a mutant.
Liz (07:23):
You can't say words correctly sometimes it's all
good, let's not start.
Ben (07:26):
But the cool thing was our son was the first one that they
found that had this specificabnormality.
Now we tried to figure out like, was that really the case?
And we did some other research,like a couple years later I
personally found some otherpeople with it.
But I'm not again, I'm not ageneticist.
I don't know what I'm lookingfor.
So maybe there is somethingsuper unique about him and he's
(07:47):
in a book somewhere At leastthat's what we were told, or
that he's at least that's whatwe were told, or that he's at
least in a few research papers.
Yeah, but somewhere um turns outthat he and I have a mutation
and we're we're mutants.
Liz (08:00):
Yeah, they're mutants.
So then you have to understand.
Now Ben is all engaged abouthow he's a mutant and it's like
a whole world open up for him.
He's like do you think I canjump off buildings?
Ben (08:13):
Well, I mean, it didn't start out that way.
I think it was more or lesslike what do I need to do to
bring on whatever special powersI have from this mutation?
Oh my gosh, and I mean I'veseen all the movies, right.
Liz (08:26):
Walk through walls.
Ben (08:28):
I didn't know if I needed to stand a little closer to the
x-ray machine the next time I'mat the dentist office or, you
know, if I need to go get moresunlight or something.
Maybe it might, you knowsomething's going to activate it
.
And then one day I'll havethese special powers and then
you know, you guys will bejealous.
Liz (08:44):
Yeah, so you know, basically I married a mutant and
Zeke did get this unique.
Our son did get thisinteresting mutation from him
not from me, but it was allabout just seeing if his
diagnosis that he had receivedwas actually from a genetic from
a genetic something or other.
Yeah, and it wasn't becauseobviously you know they're
(09:06):
learning so many things rightnow and actually with this topic
, you know we were going througha really hard season.
Ben (09:17):
We were yeah, it's a funny story, but at the time, like it
was very difficult because wewere about three months, in from
the diagnosis, I believe yeah.
Liz (09:21):
Well, I can't remember where we got the genetic testing
versus when we found out, andyeah, anyways.
Ben (09:25):
so it was a little little time had lapsed, but we were
still dealing with the fact that, you know, our son was
diagnosed with autism, and whatdid it feel like?
Liz (09:35):
Well, you know, at first um , you know, I knew that he
wasn't um developing like hisolder brother, and so I thought
one he couldn't hear, because Iwould say his name but he
wouldn't, he wouldn't respond,you know, like his brother was
at that age, and what age wasthis I?
(09:56):
Started noticing it at probablyabout two and a half three,
probably more three and probablymore three, because we already
had our third child, a daughter,and he was nonverbal for a
while.
Yeah, he only had like 20 wordsup until he was about four and a
half, you know.
(10:16):
And and then he, you know hewas a late potty trainer and I
mean there's just so many thingsin it.
But you know, I startednoticing some things and and
also too, it was like when hewould look, um I, it looked like
maybe he was having a hard timefocusing with his eyes.
So I thought, okay, maybe he'shaving a hard time hearing, um,
cause another time focusing withhis eyes.
So I thought, okay, maybe he'shaving a hard time hearing,
because another friend of mine,her daughter, actually ended up
(10:37):
having a hearing problem.
So she had her ears, herhearing check.
Maybe he's having a hard timeseeing and he can't communicate.
So he's not really telling me.
And anyway, long story short, Iwent to get him all these tests
done and turns out he hasincredible, impeccable vision
and his hearing is so good thatthey tell me he can probably
hear a dog whistle.
Ben (10:56):
And he has perfect pitch which we didn't find out until
later.
Liz (10:58):
Yeah.
Ben (10:58):
But he's able to tell you exactly what key or note
something is or what keysomething is written in.
Liz (11:05):
Doesn't matter where we are .
Ben (11:06):
We're not super musical.
We like music but we're notmusicians.
But apparently that's prettyrare as well, and he's fantastic
at it.
Liz (11:14):
Yeah.
And so we can be in a grocerystore or listening to a song in
the car or something and say,hey, do you know what key this
song is in?
And he's like, yeah, it's da,da, da.
Ben (11:23):
I mean it's In fact.
He's gotten so tired of tellingus what key it is, he doesn't
want to do it anymore.
Yeah.
Liz (11:27):
Imagine that he has an opinion, and so, anyway, when we
got his first diagnosis, it waspretty tough.
It felt almost like a deathsentence, and I think one of the
reasons why it felt like thatis because my understanding and
my concept of what autism lookedlike, like I went to the nth
(11:47):
degree of like this is terrible,what is his life going to be
like?
Because of where he was, um, Iand and I didn't see it as an
adventure yet, because it feltit felt like a death.
It felt like all the thingsthat I thought that that our son
could be, do and have, uh,wasn't going to come to pass.
And we've learned a lot throughit.
I mean, he is coming up on an18th birthday, he's almost an
(12:10):
adult, and so, you know, this isthis is a long time ago.
This is 15 years ago that wewere, you know, embarking on
this journey and and we'velearned quite a bit.
And that's one of the reasonswhy I want to talk about this in
our One Blessed Mess podcast isbecause some of you out there
may have somebody in your lifethat is going through this,
where they just got thediagnosis or maybe the raising.
(12:30):
They've already had it andthey're raising somebody that's
on the spectrum and there'sdifferent levels of the spectrum
, of course.
Our son was diagnosed as he gotolder with mild autism, high
functioning, and you know wewere worried, like when he first
, you know, started talking andeverything that he would never
voice his opinion, he would getrun over.
What?
Ben (12:50):
did they call that?
So he started off when he wastalking.
It was like he would almostparent oh echolalia, yeah,
echolalia.
So he would repeat what we weresaying and we got him to help,
we got him to therapies.
Liz (13:00):
We did a lot of things.
But you know, we, we, for me Ikeep I'm saying we, but for me
it felt like a death sentence.
But I didn't see the beauty ofthe journey that was ahead and I
remember the psychologist thatgave that diagnosis.
She said to me you know, thisis, this is a gift to you, to
(13:21):
give this to him.
And I thought what I'm like?
I think it's a curse, you know.
I couldn't, I couldn't computewhat she was saying, but now I
understand because it helps usunderstand our son.
It really does help usunderstand.
Ben (13:34):
And we did a specific training that really helped us
kind of see how to appreciateour son in a different way.
And it was out in Massachusettsand the program I believe is
called Sunshine.
Liz (13:49):
Sunrise, sunrise.
Ben (13:50):
Sorry, sunshine, and we're going to put it in Similar
things.
Sunshine, sunrise, sunrise,sorry, sunshine and sunrise, and
we're going to put it in thenotes on this podcast too,
because it so helped us.
Yes.
Liz (13:59):
But basically what happened is somebody that I went to high
school with their son hadreceived the same diagnosis, and
this is like back when Facebookwas becoming a thing.
So we were living in adifferent city than we grew up
in, and I connected with themand seeing the story and reached
out to them and they said youreally should consider going to
this program, and so we had toraise the money because we
(14:20):
didn't have the money and we hadto make arrangements.
I was then pregnant with myfifth kid our fifth kid and we
went out there and it was abouta week long program for parents
who had children on differentparts of the spectrum and and
and really had testimonies ofpeople walking out of autism.
Ben (14:40):
And what was unique about this place is that they had
pioneered a form of therapy thatwas, um, based around joining
your child and joining with themin the activities that they
felt comfortable with, and sothose activities they would call
isms.
And so our son he liked to run,but you had kids there that we
(15:03):
met.
We didn't really meet the kids,we met the parents of these
kids, but some of their ismswere, you know, pretty
fantastical.
One of them was like throwingup in a toaster and then burning
his throw up by pushing it down, and so all kinds of crazy
stuff.
Liz (15:17):
Yeah, that was one of the extreme ones, yeah, and and I
mean screaming um, some of themlove driving in a vehicle.
Ben (15:23):
You know and they had to be driven in order to calm down
for hours, hours, hours.
The whole point of that therapywas that of disciplining them,
or trying to see their behavioras negative or bad.
You would join in with them,right?
And so it made them feelcomfortable, because here's this
(15:44):
other human who's doing thesame thing I'm doing in order to
feel comfortable, and so it's aunique program.
Liz (15:50):
I mean, there's like a whole system in it.
If this is something thatyou're interested in, do click
on the link.
And I mean we are definitelyfruit of that.
Yeah that yeah Of that programand actually the founders.
Their son was diagnosed withautism way before he.
What we see now and I mean thisis back when they would put
(16:12):
kids in institutions and so howthis couple started and where
they they went yeah, I mean,there's terrible things that
used to happen, you know, in the70s and the early 80s, but um,
their son actually runs theprogram.
I think he's still running itnow.
I am um connected, still onsocial media and see the
testimonies are coming out andwe, you know, still had our son
(16:35):
in regular therapies.
He still was, you know, doingum speech.
Ben (16:39):
He was doing.
Liz (16:39):
OT.
Yeah, there was.
He was in a special preschoolwhich did ABA.
But what we gathered from thesunrise program, what?
And it's kind of like theredheaded stepchild out there
for.
I hate saying that, but it'skind of like what it is in the
autism community.
Ben (16:52):
People are like oh, you know, and I do want to pause for
just one second and say thatyou know, there there was kind
of some drinking of the Kool-Aidthere, like just a little bit
of just weird spiritualinfluence.
But one of the things that Lizand I both came away with was
like why does this place feel soblessed, like?
yeah, we were there when we werenoticing, um, just just like
(17:15):
what, how, how, how we wereperceiving god's thoughts and
feelings about this place.
We just felt such warmness,such like love and affection and
just um, just like a enthusiasmto be there, and we kept
thinking like man, what is that?
And then we realized, likehere's a whole institution
(17:36):
dedicated to the down and out,the ones who are kind of left on
the side, and like that's God'sheart, right, he's there for
the broken heart, he's there forthe ones that are the outcasts.
And we just felt like man,these people are loving the
unlovable and that's touchingsomething in God's heart.
And so we really felt like man,these people are loving the
unlovable and that's touchingsomething in God's heart.
And so we really felt likethere was just favor over this
(17:58):
place.
We didn't agree with all theyou know, some of the spiritual
stuff and or or maybe all of thetherapy, but the fact that they
love these kids and that theywere really trying to seek their
benefit was just amazing.
Liz (18:10):
Yeah, and their therapies were basically mirroring.
That's what you're talkingabout.
So it's coming alongside thechild, no matter how old they
are, and they have like a theway they do.
It is really cool.
I mean, you do need to dig intoit and just see, and there's
testimonies Our friends thefriend that I went to high
school with their son isthriving, he's working, he's a
delight, he ended up being inour kids' piano classes, all
(18:35):
those kind of things, and he'sdoing great.
And our son is doing great.
I mean he's learning to drive.
He's in normal classes, he getsup and does presentations.
He is our most introverted kid.
Ben (18:49):
Oh, by a long shot, Like yeah, not even close.
Liz (18:55):
When people come over to our house they typically will
meet like all of our kids exceptfor one.
He's kind of like that cat thatyou know people maybe have in
their house and you're like didyou say you had a cat?
I haven't seen your cat.
And then all of a sudden, aboutan hour later, like you see the
cat.
That's how our son is Run bynormally.
He runs by and they're like, oh,you do have six kids, yeah, but
(19:15):
he's like our most obedient.
He's very scheduled personality, which is great, because his
mom is the opposite.
I'm not super like scheduleddiscipline.
I mean we have a lot.
Ben (19:25):
He follows a process extremely well more so than any
of our kids and when you teachhim something, he really learns
it.
Liz (19:33):
Yep.
Ben (19:34):
And he's super studious, he's super diligent and it's
just a breath of fresh airbecause sometimes he'll even
anticipate things.
Like if you give him a choreright, he'll even anticipate
when he needs to do it next.
And that's like such a nice, Iguess difference between some of
the other ones, they don'talways have that quality, yeah
(19:54):
but he's faithful.
Yes.
Liz (19:56):
He's very faithful and even though we walk through, so to
speak, a dark night of our soulsand all the paperwork, the IEPs
, all the meetings that I'vebeen in, the doctor's
appointments, his file is likethis thick, right, it's like
really high.
The other kids are like supersmall, you know, and but it's
(20:20):
okay.
I didn't know that when wereceived that diagnosis.
The beauty that would come 15years later and here's a young
man who's almost 18, you know,and he's looking at his future.
He's talking about when he'sgoing to live on his own, he's
talking about holding a job andhe went from very few words to,
(20:42):
I mean, he's still a man of fewwords, but he's very funny, he's
very, very funny.
Ben (20:46):
This kid.
Liz (20:46):
Well, you know, humor is a sign of intelligence.
He knows when to say it andwhen not to say it, and when to
say it and when not to say it.
And when he says it, it's sobrilliant, it's so funny.
Ben (20:54):
That does remind me of a story where he had a good
punchline.
Liz (20:57):
Oh no, how much time do we have.
Ben (21:00):
I think we can fit it in.
Do you think we can fit it in?
Yeah, I think we can fit it inA little longer episode but it's
okay.
Liz (21:05):
Are you talking about?
Was it a morning like this Was?
Ben (21:08):
So I had done something stupid recently, prior to this
morning, and I had fallen off mybike and ripped a little tear
in my bicep from the handlebars,which we won't go into.
It was really dumb.
Liz (21:22):
But in our front yard.
Ben (21:23):
It wasn't even like riding in the trails.
It was like me trying to getthe bike onto the back of my
vehicle so that I could take itto the trails.
That's when I fell.
And your shoes didn't clip theway you thought I was like
clipped in and I didn't think Iwas and I tried to come out of
my clips and I couldn't.
So I just rode the bike all theway down like this and let go
at the last second and thehandlebars whipped into me.
I was trying to move my arm tobrace myself.
(21:44):
It was a bad combination.
Liz (21:45):
It ended up with me, trip to Hilarious because this is
funny, because this has to dowith our son.
Oh, yeah, yeah, answer the door, yeah.
Ben (21:55):
Okay, so I do this thing and.
I have this hole in my arm.
I probably can't see it.
Liz (21:59):
No.
Ben (22:01):
The handlebar hits right there and it's such a blunt
force that it pops my arm open,like it felt like getting hit
with a hammer, which I don'tencourage anybody to try that.
But just the way that the wheelwhipped and I was pushing my
arm anyways, bad combination popmy arm open.
I look down, I see bloodsplurting, and so I'm like, oh
crap, I just hit an artery.
So I grab it, I try to get outof my bike and unclip the pedals
(22:25):
and scramble up, and so I'mholding my arm.
You know like running to thedoor, trying to knock on the
door with my elbow, and Zekesees me and he kind of starts
laughing.
He's like what are you doing,dad?
Liz (22:36):
And he's laughing at him.
Ben (22:37):
He didn't know the door was locked because I went out the
garage and so I keep knockingand he kind of like laughs and
moves away.
So I go, I ring the doorbellwith my nose.
Liz (22:47):
He's ringing the doorbell with his nose and meanwhile, you
guys, it's like seven somethingin the morning, like 7.15.
And we're trying to get kidsready for school.
That's the day of a dentistappointment for all of them,
because our dentist takes allsix at the same time, and so I'm
like we got a plan.
We got a plan.
And so finally, our son unlocksthe door.
Ben (23:04):
Unlocks the door and I get inside and I'm like I need to go
to the emergency room right nowand I'm thinking how in the
world do you need to go to theemergency room?
Liz (23:13):
and he's holding his arm.
I thought he had broke hiswrist.
So I start screaming somebodyget a cutting board, I need a
lantern.
And he's like what are youtalking about?
Ben (23:23):
because I'm thinking I'm gonna have to strap his arm down
so the reason is like mrmacgyver so the reason is, she
thinks that is because thatactually happened um that's a
whole nother story a whole, notson.
And we had some quick thinkingand we were able to strap his
arm down after he had broken itwith a cutting board and made it
to the hospital that way.
So, anyways, that's what Liz'sfirst impression was that's what
I'm thinking.
Liz (23:43):
And so he's like no, I need to go now.
I think I busted an artery.
I'm thinking, oh my gosh, do Icall an ambulance?
Ben (23:50):
He says no, Just take me, just take me, you take me, we
get there.
It turns out it wasn't already,it was a vein, so that was yeah
, that was good, um, but thedoctor did tell me he's like hey
, you might not want to mentionthe fact that, like you were,
you fell in their front yard andit wasn't even on a trail it
was like that's kind of a lamestory.
You need to, you need to make upa different story.
So, anyways, I never thought ofa new story, so unfortunately I
(24:13):
got to stick with the lame one.
Liz (24:14):
So a couple of days after this is Easter.
I get stitched up, okay so acouple of days after this is
Easter and I had all the kidsEaster baskets ready, and so we
decided that okay, let's wakethem up, we're ready.
And I was like you know what?
What was I doing Easter like 20years ago, and I have this
memory of I used to liveoverseas and I did a dance to a
(24:36):
song called Was it a MorningLike this by Sandy Patty.
So Was it a Morning Like this?
All right, look it up, it'squite operatic.
Ben (24:44):
It was very popular.
Liz (24:46):
Yes, yes, very vibrato and so.
Ben (24:49):
How many times were you playing it that morning?
Liz (24:51):
Quite a bit, so I cranked it up as loud as I could to wake
up the kids.
Ben (24:55):
We do that.
We're kind of the weird parentswe're like when we need to wake
up the kids.
Sometimes I will bang on thedrum set as loud as I possibly
can, or I will sing as loud as Ipossibly can which is, you know
, nobody wants to hear that orwe'll just crank up a song as
loud as possibly.
Liz (25:08):
But anyways, liz felt impelled I felt inspired, so I
get the music going and Ben isin a bathrobe because it's early
in the morning and it's a freshcup, hot cup of coffee.
Ben (25:21):
And he's sitting on Holding it with the other arm.
I believe yeah, Because I-.
Yeah, not his arm.
I hurt my right arm.
I was holding my left.
Liz (25:26):
Yeah, details here, details are important.
So, anyway, I'm likeremembering the dance that I did
to this song on Easter Sundayyears and years ago.
And I'm doing it and the kidsare getting up and they're like,
oh my gosh, mom, what is thissong?
I'm like it's an amazing song.
It was a morning like this, itwas a morning like this.
So I'm like remembering themovements and all these things.
And, of course, ben makes somekind of snarky comment or remark
(25:51):
to our daughter.
I think it was like you toldher she's making break.
I don't know, but he said hesaid something, something, and
she takes a pillow and throws itat her dad when she threw the
pillow.
Ben (26:04):
It hit his arm with the coffee.
I didn't think she realized Ihad coffee yeah, hand yeah, so
she just she just threw thepillow right at me because you
know, that's kind of normallyhow it goes.
Liz (26:12):
I say something, something snarky and get a reaction, but
it hit me right in the coffee.
Ben (26:18):
It hit him in the coffee.
The coffee went all over my arm, all over my stitches, all over
my chest.
Kind of gave me a little.
You know it wasn't to burn likea third degree or anything like
that but, it was definitely ared chest for a while.
Liz (26:30):
Yeah.
And so I start panickingbecause I'm thinking it got in
the wound.
What are we going to do?
So I'm like turn it off, turnit off.
I'm like, oh my gosh.
Ben (26:38):
And the music's still blaring.
Yeah, the music.
I'm like turn it off andeverybody's going crazy running
around.
Liz (26:42):
Yeah, it was a little crazy .
I'm like hurry, hurry, hurry.
Ben (26:44):
And then what happens?
Liz (26:44):
And then, out of nowhere, our son emerges right up and he
goes.
Was it a morning like this, ohmy God.
Ben (26:55):
It was great timing.
Liz (26:56):
Great timing and I'm like well, maybe I don't know that's
funny, but I need help, you know.
And anyway we laugh about it tothis day that was Easter, right
yeah.
It was just a couple years ago,yeah, but you know, that's our
point is like we thoughtsomething and it's turned into
something much more beautiful.
Ben (27:13):
Better than we could imagine.
Liz (27:13):
Better than we could have imagined, and we're so grateful
for that.
So you know when life feelslike a death sentence.
God is still on the throneRight, ben.
Ben (27:23):
Yeah, yeah, he is.
And there's a verse that I wasthinking about and it's in 2
Corinthians, and Paul's talkingabout.
I'll just paraphrase it realquick, but basically he's
despairing even of life.
I'll just go into it.
We do not want you to beuninformed, brothers and sisters
, about the troubles weexperienced in the province of
(27:44):
Asia.
We were under great pressure,far beyond our ability to endure
, so that we despaired of lifeitself.
Indeed, we had felt we hadreceived the sentence of death,
but this happened, that we mightnot rely on ourselves, but on
God who raises the dead.
And I mean that's a greatcorollary verse, right, Like
when you think there's a deathsentence.
(28:05):
Sometimes it's just you got totake a step back and realize
that God has a plan and he has away to deliver you, and we just
needed to change ourperspective.
And I'm glad we did.
You know we found life in itand even when it felt like a
death sentence and we weremourning um, and it's okay to
mourn, it's okay to you know, tofeel that at times it's just
(28:27):
you can't camp out there.
And we and we didn't.
And we're so thankful becausethe Lord really has blessed us
and it just.
You know, we needed a littleperspective shift and we just
needed a little deliverance, andGod's able to do that.
He's able to bless you even inyour messy life.
Liz (28:41):
That's true.
I love that scripture, I lovethose thoughts and you know, our
son is such a shining andbright light.
Ben (28:49):
He really is.
Liz (28:50):
He really is, and he's such a joy.
I love mothering him.
I love parenting him.
He would call himself an Aspie.
Yeah, they don't really givethat diagnosis anymore of
Asperger's.
Ben (28:59):
Right.
Liz (28:59):
But he would say he's an Aspie and there's an author that
we want to talk about at somepoint on this podcast oh yes,
favorite author, our favoriteauthor, that we want to say
(29:21):
thanks for being a part of OurOne Blessed Mess today.
Our acronym, what's our acronym?
Ben 01BM 01BM, our One BM.
We just want to also say don'tforget to subscribe and share
with a friend who you think mayneed this encouragement.
You know, we're just brokenpeople, we have a messy life,
but we hope that it encouragesothers along the way.
And we also want to encourageyou to follow us on Instagram.
(29:42):
Our handle is at our onenumeric one blessed mess.
Looks like the sign right here,but until next time, we just
want to say embrace yourbeautiful mess, right?
Because if our mess can beblessed, Then so can yours, so
can yours.
Have a great day, see ya.
All right, welcome to our one blessed mess.
We're Ben and Liz and we'reparents of six kids that we had
in eight years.
We are keepers of eightchickens.
We're currently homeschooling.
We also have a entrepreneurialhome and in the midst of it we
have how many teenagers.
Ben (00:27):
We have four teenagers, about to be five teenagers.
Five Let that sink in just amoment.
Yeah, almost five teenagers.
Liz (00:35):
Five teenagers.
I mean we're basically runninga youth group in our house.
You should see our food bill.
It is unbelievable how muchfood these kids can eat, or the
laundry stacks.
Ben (00:46):
They're very big.
Liz (00:48):
How about the smell when you walk into these teenage
boys' rooms?
I mean, it's real.
Ben (00:53):
It's almost like a wet dog smell.
I don't know how else to say it.
It's kind of unappealing.
I would say that maybe.
Liz (01:04):
Look, I just come in with air freshener.
I'm putting thieves everywhereessential oils, everything that
I can think of.
But here's the deal.
We have got an awesome topicthat we want to dive into today,
and it's pretty fun because Ididn't know that when I married
this lovely man that is myhusband, that I actually married
a mutant Ben's a mutant.
(01:25):
Why don't you tell them?
Ben (01:27):
It's true, I had some genetic testing done and,
believe it or not, I have amutation on the 14th chromosomal
pairing.
I think I'm saying that right,don't crucify me.
Is it the short?
Liz (01:41):
arm.
Wait, is it the short arm?
Wait, how do we do this?
Is it the short arm or the longarm?
How do you do that?
I?
Ben (01:47):
don't know.
You mean the T-Rex arm.
Is that what you're saying?
Yeah, that's what I was tryingto say, and then how do you do
the long arm, short arm?
Liz (01:53):
Yeah, I don't know.
Anyway, so there's a mutationno-transcript kind of rising
(02:31):
more, and he had just receivedhis diagnosis and so they wanted
to test this.
They paid for it, which waspretty awesome, the children's
hospital we were at.
Ben (02:40):
And then it was like a really in-depth form of testing,
like a micro array or somethingor other test.
It was very specific, it wasvery costly.
I think if we had to pay for itit was going to be like about
10 grand for each test, eachyeah.
Liz (02:53):
So, we would never do it, we didn't have the money for it.
So we agreed to it because whynot?
And anyway, something comesback and they say we would like
to get your DNA done for you,parents, we found something in
our son and we want to see ifyou know, if there's something
that's there and anyway ended upbeing that they rushed us
(03:18):
through.
Normally takes six months andwithin I think, like a couple of
weeks we were in thegeneticist's office.
But before we went into thegeneticist's office which, by
the way, if you've never been infront of a geneticist, it is
the weirdest experience.
It's weird.
Why is it weird?
Ben (03:36):
Well, it's weird because the whole time when you're there
, they're looking at you.
They're like looking at theproportion of your head, they're
checking the size of your ears,your nose, and it feels like
you're kind of like Naked.
Yeah, like you just Naked.
They're just analyzing you, youknow and trying to figure out oh
okay, could it be this, couldit be?
And I think we found out later.
It's like there's so manythings that are determined by
(03:59):
our genetics you know the shapeof our faces, all these things
and so, like, if you've gotsomeone that studies this all
the time, then they're able topick out, um, these these things
and see if, like your, your DNAkind of matches your physical
form and and and what's drivingwhat.
And so it felt like you werejust being analyzed.
Liz (04:17):
It was wild and and here's the crazy thing we didn't even
bring our son.
Ben (04:22):
Right.
Liz (04:22):
The guy was like the doctor was like you didn't bring your
son.
No, Nobody told us to bring ourson, so then we had to get
another appointment God blessthem.
And people are on the wait listfor over six months just to get
an appointment.
You're on the wait list for sixmonths to get an appointment
within six months.
Ben (04:39):
But we should say so, okay, so.
Liz (04:41):
Yeah, so tell the story.
Ben (04:48):
So say so, okay, so yeah, so tell the story.
So they get the test right,right.
Liz (04:49):
And then the geneticist is like okay, we want you two to do
it, and so we're waiting abouta week or two, I don't remember
exactly how long, very quick,apparently I you get a phone
call first, right, yeah, I get aphone call, I'm at home with
the kids and I get a phone calland the lady on the other line I
have caller id.
Back then we had caller ID andI knew it was from the hospital.
I knew where it was from andshe says is your husband there?
I said no, but I'm his wife,can you tell me?
(05:12):
And she said no, I need tospeak with him directly.
And I'm thinking, oh my gosh,okay.
I said well, he's at work,here's his number, give him a
call.
So back then we had IM, instantMessenger on AOL, I think it
was AOL, wasn't it?
Ben (05:24):
Or was it Gmail?
I don't know.
I don't want to get into allthat because, good God help us,
okay.
Liz (05:28):
Anyways, because Ben can go down that rabbit trail about
all the technologies and I'mjust like did it work?
Okay, we did it Okay.
So, anywho, I quickly messagehim and say, hey, Right, so you
get a call.
Ben (05:43):
Yeah.
So I get a call and I can'tremember if it was the
geneticist or if it was someonehelping, but they asked me how I
was feeling.
It's like.
I pick up the phone I'm like hi, is this Ben?
Yes, this is he.
He's like well, sir, this issomeone for the doctor's office
(06:04):
and I just would like to knowhow you're feeling today and, by
the way, are you sitting down?
And so a couple of things aregoing through my head.
When they asked this questionbecause it was news to them that
I had some type of geneticabnormality.
But think about it, I've neverbeen without that genetic
(06:25):
abnormality.
So my normal, I would neverknow if I'm feeling okay or not
based on not having thisdeficiency or mutation.
Right, it was almost like theywere asking me if I had a cold
and if I was able to know thedifference between having a cold
and not having a cold.
So it's just wild, right?
Liz (06:43):
Yes, it was wild.
Ben (06:44):
I've never not known what it feels like to not be a mutant
.
So yeah, it was a weird way tostart out.
Liz (06:51):
So they tell him basically, you, basically there's this,
whatever, whatever.
We want you to come in and wewant to talk to you.
So we do, we go in and,honestly, there was only one
other person at the time andwhat they told us is that as
they're doing this genetictesting, they're going to find
people all over the world withall kinds of abnormalities.
(07:12):
Why is that word so hard for me?
Anybody else out there have anissue with saying words
sometimes?
Ben (07:17):
Not to go down a rabbit hole, but it might be kind of
your thing.
That's okay, we all have things.
I'm a mutant.
Liz (07:23):
You can't say words correctly sometimes it's all
good, let's not start.
Ben (07:26):
But the cool thing was our son was the first one that they
found that had this specificabnormality.
Now we tried to figure out like, was that really the case?
And we did some other research,like a couple years later I
personally found some otherpeople with it.
But I'm not again, I'm not ageneticist.
I don't know what I'm lookingfor.
So maybe there is somethingsuper unique about him and he's
(07:47):
in a book somewhere At leastthat's what we were told, or
that he's at least that's whatwe were told, or that he's at
least in a few research papers.
Yeah, but somewhere um turns outthat he and I have a mutation
and we're we're mutants.
Liz (08:00):
Yeah, they're mutants.
So then you have to understand.
Now Ben is all engaged abouthow he's a mutant and it's like
a whole world open up for him.
He's like do you think I canjump off buildings?
Ben (08:13):
Well, I mean, it didn't start out that way.
I think it was more or lesslike what do I need to do to
bring on whatever special powersI have from this mutation?
Oh my gosh, and I mean I'veseen all the movies, right.
Liz (08:26):
Walk through walls.
Ben (08:28):
I didn't know if I needed to stand a little closer to the
x-ray machine the next time I'mat the dentist office or, you
know, if I need to go get moresunlight or something.
Maybe it might, you knowsomething's going to activate it
.
And then one day I'll havethese special powers and then
you know, you guys will bejealous.
Liz (08:44):
Yeah, so you know, basically I married a mutant and
Zeke did get this unique.
Our son did get thisinteresting mutation from him
not from me, but it was allabout just seeing if his
diagnosis that he had receivedwas actually from a genetic from
a genetic something or other.
Yeah, and it wasn't becauseobviously you know they're
(09:06):
learning so many things rightnow and actually with this topic
, you know we were going througha really hard season.
Ben (09:17):
We were yeah, it's a funny story, but at the time, like it
was very difficult because wewere about three months, in from
the diagnosis, I believe yeah.
Liz (09:21):
Well, I can't remember where we got the genetic testing
versus when we found out, andyeah, anyways.
Ben (09:25):
so it was a little little time had lapsed, but we were
still dealing with the fact that, you know, our son was
diagnosed with autism, and whatdid it feel like?
Liz (09:35):
Well, you know, at first um , you know, I knew that he
wasn't um developing like hisolder brother, and so I thought
one he couldn't hear, because Iwould say his name but he
wouldn't, he wouldn't respond,you know, like his brother was
at that age, and what age wasthis I?
(09:56):
Started noticing it at probablyabout two and a half three,
probably more three and probablymore three, because we already
had our third child, a daughter,and he was nonverbal for a
while.
Yeah, he only had like 20 wordsup until he was about four and a
half, you know.
(10:16):
And and then he, you know hewas a late potty trainer and I
mean there's just so many thingsin it.
But you know, I startednoticing some things and and
also too, it was like when hewould look, um I, it looked like
maybe he was having a hard timefocusing with his eyes.
So I thought, okay, maybe he'shaving a hard time hearing, um,
cause another time focusing withhis eyes.
So I thought, okay, maybe he'shaving a hard time hearing,
because another friend of mine,her daughter, actually ended up
(10:37):
having a hearing problem.
So she had her ears, herhearing check.
Maybe he's having a hard timeseeing and he can't communicate.
So he's not really telling me.
And anyway, long story short, Iwent to get him all these tests
done and turns out he hasincredible, impeccable vision
and his hearing is so good thatthey tell me he can probably
hear a dog whistle.
Ben (10:56):
And he has perfect pitch which we didn't find out until
later.
Liz (10:58):
Yeah.
Ben (10:58):
But he's able to tell you exactly what key or note
something is or what keysomething is written in.
Liz (11:05):
Doesn't matter where we are .
Ben (11:06):
We're not super musical.
We like music but we're notmusicians.
But apparently that's prettyrare as well, and he's fantastic
at it.
Liz (11:14):
Yeah.
And so we can be in a grocerystore or listening to a song in
the car or something and say,hey, do you know what key this
song is in?
And he's like, yeah, it's da,da, da.
Ben (11:23):
I mean it's In fact.
He's gotten so tired of tellingus what key it is, he doesn't
want to do it anymore.
Yeah.
Liz (11:27):
Imagine that he has an opinion, and so, anyway, when we
got his first diagnosis, it waspretty tough.
It felt almost like a deathsentence, and I think one of the
reasons why it felt like thatis because my understanding and
my concept of what autism lookedlike, like I went to the nth
(11:47):
degree of like this is terrible,what is his life going to be
like?
Because of where he was, um, Iand and I didn't see it as an
adventure yet, because it feltit felt like a death.
It felt like all the thingsthat I thought that that our son
could be, do and have, uh,wasn't going to come to pass.
And we've learned a lot throughit.
I mean, he is coming up on an18th birthday, he's almost an
(12:10):
adult, and so, you know, this isthis is a long time ago.
This is 15 years ago that wewere, you know, embarking on
this journey and and we'velearned quite a bit.
And that's one of the reasonswhy I want to talk about this in
our One Blessed Mess podcast isbecause some of you out there
may have somebody in your lifethat is going through this,
where they just got thediagnosis or maybe the raising.
(12:30):
They've already had it andthey're raising somebody that's
on the spectrum and there'sdifferent levels of the spectrum
, of course.
Our son was diagnosed as he gotolder with mild autism, high
functioning, and you know wewere worried, like when he first
, you know, started talking andeverything that he would never
voice his opinion, he would getrun over.
What?
Ben (12:50):
did they call that?
So he started off when he wastalking.
It was like he would almostparent oh echolalia, yeah,
echolalia.
So he would repeat what we weresaying and we got him to help,
we got him to therapies.
Liz (13:00):
We did a lot of things.
But you know, we, we, for me Ikeep I'm saying we, but for me
it felt like a death sentence.
But I didn't see the beauty ofthe journey that was ahead and I
remember the psychologist thatgave that diagnosis.
She said to me you know, thisis, this is a gift to you, to
(13:21):
give this to him.
And I thought what I'm like?
I think it's a curse, you know.
I couldn't, I couldn't computewhat she was saying, but now I
understand because it helps usunderstand our son.
It really does help usunderstand.
Ben (13:34):
And we did a specific training that really helped us
kind of see how to appreciateour son in a different way.
And it was out in Massachusettsand the program I believe is
called Sunshine.
Liz (13:49):
Sunrise, sunrise.
Ben (13:50):
Sorry, sunshine, and we're going to put it in Similar
things.
Sunshine, sunrise, sunrise,sorry, sunshine and sunrise, and
we're going to put it in thenotes on this podcast too,
because it so helped us.
Yes.
Liz (13:59):
But basically what happened is somebody that I went to high
school with their son hadreceived the same diagnosis, and
this is like back when Facebookwas becoming a thing.
So we were living in adifferent city than we grew up
in, and I connected with themand seeing the story and reached
out to them and they said youreally should consider going to
this program, and so we had toraise the money because we
(14:20):
didn't have the money and we hadto make arrangements.
I was then pregnant with myfifth kid our fifth kid and we
went out there and it was abouta week long program for parents
who had children on differentparts of the spectrum and and
and really had testimonies ofpeople walking out of autism.
Ben (14:40):
And what was unique about this place is that they had
pioneered a form of therapy thatwas, um, based around joining
your child and joining with themin the activities that they
felt comfortable with, and sothose activities they would call
isms.
And so our son he liked to run,but you had kids there that we
(15:03):
met.
We didn't really meet the kids,we met the parents of these
kids, but some of their ismswere, you know, pretty
fantastical.
One of them was like throwingup in a toaster and then burning
his throw up by pushing it down, and so all kinds of crazy
stuff.
Liz (15:17):
Yeah, that was one of the extreme ones, yeah, and and I
mean screaming um, some of themlove driving in a vehicle.
Ben (15:23):
You know and they had to be driven in order to calm down
for hours, hours, hours.
The whole point of that therapywas that of disciplining them,
or trying to see their behavioras negative or bad.
You would join in with them,right?
And so it made them feelcomfortable, because here's this
(15:44):
other human who's doing thesame thing I'm doing in order to
feel comfortable, and so it's aunique program.
Liz (15:50):
I mean, there's like a whole system in it.
If this is something thatyou're interested in, do click
on the link.
And I mean we are definitelyfruit of that.
Yeah that yeah Of that programand actually the founders.
Their son was diagnosed withautism way before he.
What we see now and I mean thisis back when they would put
(16:12):
kids in institutions and so howthis couple started and where
they they went yeah, I mean,there's terrible things that
used to happen, you know, in the70s and the early 80s, but um,
their son actually runs theprogram.
I think he's still running itnow.
I am um connected, still onsocial media and see the
testimonies are coming out andwe, you know, still had our son
(16:35):
in regular therapies.
He still was, you know, doingum speech.
Ben (16:39):
He was doing.
Liz (16:39):
OT.
Yeah, there was.
He was in a special preschoolwhich did ABA.
But what we gathered from thesunrise program, what?
And it's kind of like theredheaded stepchild out there
for.
I hate saying that, but it'skind of like what it is in the
autism community.
Ben (16:52):
People are like oh, you know, and I do want to pause for
just one second and say thatyou know, there there was kind
of some drinking of the Kool-Aidthere, like just a little bit
of just weird spiritualinfluence.
But one of the things that Lizand I both came away with was
like why does this place feel soblessed, like?
yeah, we were there when we werenoticing, um, just just like
(17:15):
what, how, how, how we wereperceiving god's thoughts and
feelings about this place.
We just felt such warmness,such like love and affection and
just um, just like a enthusiasmto be there, and we kept
thinking like man, what is that?
And then we realized, likehere's a whole institution
(17:36):
dedicated to the down and out,the ones who are kind of left on
the side, and like that's God'sheart, right, he's there for
the broken heart, he's there forthe ones that are the outcasts.
And we just felt like man,these people are loving the
unlovable and that's touchingsomething in God's heart.
And so we really felt like man,these people are loving the
unlovable and that's touchingsomething in God's heart.
And so we really felt likethere was just favor over this
(17:58):
place.
We didn't agree with all theyou know, some of the spiritual
stuff and or or maybe all of thetherapy, but the fact that they
love these kids and that theywere really trying to seek their
benefit was just amazing.
Liz (18:10):
Yeah, and their therapies were basically mirroring.
That's what you're talkingabout.
So it's coming alongside thechild, no matter how old they
are, and they have like a theway they do.
It is really cool.
I mean, you do need to dig intoit and just see, and there's
testimonies Our friends thefriend that I went to high
school with their son isthriving, he's working, he's a
delight, he ended up being inour kids' piano classes, all
(18:35):
those kind of things, and he'sdoing great.
And our son is doing great.
I mean he's learning to drive.
He's in normal classes, he getsup and does presentations.
He is our most introverted kid.
Ben (18:49):
Oh, by a long shot, Like yeah, not even close.
Liz (18:55):
When people come over to our house they typically will
meet like all of our kids exceptfor one.
He's kind of like that cat thatyou know people maybe have in
their house and you're like didyou say you had a cat?
I haven't seen your cat.
And then all of a sudden, aboutan hour later, like you see the
cat.
That's how our son is Run bynormally.
He runs by and they're like, oh,you do have six kids, yeah, but
(19:15):
he's like our most obedient.
He's very scheduled personality, which is great, because his
mom is the opposite.
I'm not super like scheduleddiscipline.
I mean we have a lot.
Ben (19:25):
He follows a process extremely well more so than any
of our kids and when you teachhim something, he really learns
it.
Liz (19:33):
Yep.
Ben (19:34):
And he's super studious, he's super diligent and it's
just a breath of fresh airbecause sometimes he'll even
anticipate things.
Like if you give him a choreright, he'll even anticipate
when he needs to do it next.
And that's like such a nice, Iguess difference between some of
the other ones, they don'talways have that quality, yeah
(19:54):
but he's faithful.
Yes.
Liz (19:56):
He's very faithful and even though we walk through, so to
speak, a dark night of our soulsand all the paperwork, the IEPs
, all the meetings that I'vebeen in, the doctor's
appointments, his file is likethis thick, right, it's like
really high.
The other kids are like supersmall, you know, and but it's
(20:20):
okay.
I didn't know that when wereceived that diagnosis.
The beauty that would come 15years later and here's a young
man who's almost 18, you know,and he's looking at his future.
He's talking about when he'sgoing to live on his own, he's
talking about holding a job andhe went from very few words to,
(20:42):
I mean, he's still a man of fewwords, but he's very funny, he's
very, very funny.
Ben (20:46):
This kid.
Liz (20:46):
Well, you know, humor is a sign of intelligence.
He knows when to say it andwhen not to say it, and when to
say it and when not to say it.
And when he says it, it's sobrilliant, it's so funny.
Ben (20:54):
That does remind me of a story where he had a good
punchline.
Liz (20:57):
Oh no, how much time do we have.
Ben (21:00):
I think we can fit it in.
Do you think we can fit it in?
Yeah, I think we can fit it inA little longer episode but it's
okay.
Liz (21:05):
Are you talking about?
Was it a morning like this Was?
Ben (21:08):
So I had done something stupid recently, prior to this
morning, and I had fallen off mybike and ripped a little tear
in my bicep from the handlebars,which we won't go into.
It was really dumb.
Liz (21:22):
But in our front yard.
Ben (21:23):
It wasn't even like riding in the trails.
It was like me trying to getthe bike onto the back of my
vehicle so that I could take itto the trails.
That's when I fell.
And your shoes didn't clip theway you thought I was like
clipped in and I didn't think Iwas and I tried to come out of
my clips and I couldn't.
So I just rode the bike all theway down like this and let go
at the last second and thehandlebars whipped into me.
I was trying to move my arm tobrace myself.
(21:44):
It was a bad combination.
Liz (21:45):
It ended up with me, trip to Hilarious because this is
funny, because this has to dowith our son.
Oh, yeah, yeah, answer the door, yeah.
Ben (21:55):
Okay, so I do this thing and.
I have this hole in my arm.
I probably can't see it.
Liz (21:59):
No.
Ben (22:01):
The handlebar hits right there and it's such a blunt
force that it pops my arm open,like it felt like getting hit
with a hammer, which I don'tencourage anybody to try that.
But just the way that the wheelwhipped and I was pushing my
arm anyways, bad combination popmy arm open.
I look down, I see bloodsplurting, and so I'm like, oh
crap, I just hit an artery.
So I grab it, I try to get outof my bike and unclip the pedals
(22:25):
and scramble up, and so I'mholding my arm.
You know like running to thedoor, trying to knock on the
door with my elbow, and Zekesees me and he kind of starts
laughing.
He's like what are you doing,dad?
Liz (22:36):
And he's laughing at him.
Ben (22:37):
He didn't know the door was locked because I went out the
garage and so I keep knockingand he kind of like laughs and
moves away.
So I go, I ring the doorbellwith my nose.
Liz (22:47):
He's ringing the doorbell with his nose and meanwhile, you
guys, it's like seven somethingin the morning, like 7.15.
And we're trying to get kidsready for school.
That's the day of a dentistappointment for all of them,
because our dentist takes allsix at the same time, and so I'm
like we got a plan.
We got a plan.
And so finally, our son unlocksthe door.
Ben (23:04):
Unlocks the door and I get inside and I'm like I need to go
to the emergency room right nowand I'm thinking how in the
world do you need to go to theemergency room?
Liz (23:13):
and he's holding his arm.
I thought he had broke hiswrist.
So I start screaming somebodyget a cutting board, I need a
lantern.
And he's like what are youtalking about?
Ben (23:23):
because I'm thinking I'm gonna have to strap his arm down
so the reason is like mrmacgyver so the reason is, she
thinks that is because thatactually happened um that's a
whole nother story a whole, notson.
And we had some quick thinkingand we were able to strap his
arm down after he had broken itwith a cutting board and made it
to the hospital that way.
So, anyways, that's what Liz'sfirst impression was that's what
I'm thinking.
Liz (23:43):
And so he's like no, I need to go now.
I think I busted an artery.
I'm thinking, oh my gosh, do Icall an ambulance?
Ben (23:50):
He says no, Just take me, just take me, you take me, we
get there.
It turns out it wasn't already,it was a vein, so that was yeah
, that was good, um, but thedoctor did tell me he's like hey
, you might not want to mentionthe fact that, like you were,
you fell in their front yard andit wasn't even on a trail it
was like that's kind of a lamestory.
You need to, you need to make upa different story.
So, anyways, I never thought ofa new story, so unfortunately I
(24:13):
got to stick with the lame one.
Liz (24:14):
So a couple of days after this is Easter.
I get stitched up, okay so acouple of days after this is
Easter and I had all the kidsEaster baskets ready, and so we
decided that okay, let's wakethem up, we're ready.
And I was like you know what?
What was I doing Easter like 20years ago, and I have this
memory of I used to liveoverseas and I did a dance to a
(24:36):
song called Was it a MorningLike this by Sandy Patty.
So Was it a Morning Like this?
All right, look it up, it'squite operatic.
Ben (24:44):
It was very popular.
Liz (24:46):
Yes, yes, very vibrato and so.
Ben (24:49):
How many times were you playing it that morning?
Liz (24:51):
Quite a bit, so I cranked it up as loud as I could to wake
up the kids.
Ben (24:55):
We do that.
We're kind of the weird parentswe're like when we need to wake
up the kids.
Sometimes I will bang on thedrum set as loud as I possibly
can, or I will sing as loud as Ipossibly can which is, you know
, nobody wants to hear that orwe'll just crank up a song as
loud as possibly.
Liz (25:08):
But anyways, liz felt impelled I felt inspired, so I
get the music going and Ben isin a bathrobe because it's early
in the morning and it's a freshcup, hot cup of coffee.
Ben (25:21):
And he's sitting on Holding it with the other arm.
I believe yeah, Because I-.
Yeah, not his arm.
I hurt my right arm.
I was holding my left.
Liz (25:26):
Yeah, details here, details are important.
So, anyway, I'm likeremembering the dance that I did
to this song on Easter Sundayyears and years ago.
And I'm doing it and the kidsare getting up and they're like,
oh my gosh, mom, what is thissong?
I'm like it's an amazing song.
It was a morning like this, itwas a morning like this.
So I'm like remembering themovements and all these things.
And, of course, ben makes somekind of snarky comment or remark
(25:51):
to our daughter.
I think it was like you toldher she's making break.
I don't know, but he said hesaid something, something, and
she takes a pillow and throws itat her dad when she threw the
pillow.
Ben (26:04):
It hit his arm with the coffee.
I didn't think she realized Ihad coffee yeah, hand yeah, so
she just she just threw thepillow right at me because you
know, that's kind of normallyhow it goes.
Liz (26:12):
I say something, something snarky and get a reaction, but
it hit me right in the coffee.
Ben (26:18):
It hit him in the coffee.
The coffee went all over my arm, all over my stitches, all over
my chest.
Kind of gave me a little.
You know it wasn't to burn likea third degree or anything like
that but, it was definitely ared chest for a while.
Liz (26:30):
Yeah.
And so I start panickingbecause I'm thinking it got in
the wound.
What are we going to do?
So I'm like turn it off, turnit off.
I'm like, oh my gosh.
Ben (26:38):
And the music's still blaring.
Yeah, the music.
I'm like turn it off andeverybody's going crazy running
around.
Liz (26:42):
Yeah, it was a little crazy .
I'm like hurry, hurry, hurry.
Ben (26:44):
And then what happens?
Liz (26:44):
And then, out of nowhere, our son emerges right up and he
goes.
Was it a morning like this, ohmy God.
Ben (26:55):
It was great timing.
Liz (26:56):
Great timing and I'm like well, maybe I don't know that's
funny, but I need help, you know.
And anyway we laugh about it tothis day that was Easter, right
yeah.
It was just a couple years ago,yeah, but you know, that's our
point is like we thoughtsomething and it's turned into
something much more beautiful.
Ben (27:13):
Better than we could imagine.
Liz (27:13):
Better than we could have imagined, and we're so grateful
for that.
So you know when life feelslike a death sentence.
God is still on the throneRight, ben.
Ben (27:23):
Yeah, yeah, he is.
And there's a verse that I wasthinking about and it's in 2
Corinthians, and Paul's talkingabout.
I'll just paraphrase it realquick, but basically he's
despairing even of life.
I'll just go into it.
We do not want you to beuninformed, brothers and sisters
, about the troubles weexperienced in the province of
(27:44):
Asia.
We were under great pressure,far beyond our ability to endure
, so that we despaired of lifeitself.
Indeed, we had felt we hadreceived the sentence of death,
but this happened, that we mightnot rely on ourselves, but on
God who raises the dead.
And I mean that's a greatcorollary verse, right, Like
when you think there's a deathsentence.
(28:05):
Sometimes it's just you got totake a step back and realize
that God has a plan and he has away to deliver you, and we just
needed to change ourperspective.
And I'm glad we did.
You know we found life in itand even when it felt like a
death sentence and we weremourning um, and it's okay to
mourn, it's okay to you know, tofeel that at times it's just
(28:27):
you can't camp out there.
And we and we didn't.
And we're so thankful becausethe Lord really has blessed us
and it just.
You know, we needed a littleperspective shift and we just
needed a little deliverance, andGod's able to do that.
He's able to bless you even inyour messy life.
Liz (28:41):
That's true.
I love that scripture, I lovethose thoughts and you know, our
son is such a shining andbright light.
Ben (28:49):
He really is.
Liz (28:50):
He really is, and he's such a joy.
I love mothering him.
I love parenting him.
He would call himself an Aspie.
Yeah, they don't really givethat diagnosis anymore of
Asperger's.
Ben (28:59):
Right.
Liz (28:59):
But he would say he's an Aspie and there's an author that
we want to talk about at somepoint on this podcast oh yes,
favorite author, our favoriteauthor, that we want to say
(29:21):
thanks for being a part of OurOne Blessed Mess today.
Our acronym, what's our acronym?
Ben 01BM 01BM, our One BM.
We just want to also say don'tforget to subscribe and share
with a friend who you think mayneed this encouragement.
You know, we're just brokenpeople, we have a messy life,
but we hope that it encouragesothers along the way.
And we also want to encourageyou to follow us on Instagram.
(29:42):
Our handle is at our onenumeric one blessed mess.
Looks like the sign right here,but until next time, we just
want to say embrace yourbeautiful mess, right?
Because if our mess can beblessed, Then so can yours, so
can yours.
Have a great day, see ya.
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