October 8, 2024 • 46 mins
Welcome to Season 2 of Our Life Beyond, where hosts Scott Dibben and Connie King share personal stories, insights, and strategies for navigating the ups and downs of life. In this season premiere, Scott and Connie dive into a critical and timely topic: health as we age.
Connie shares her recent experience with a proximal tibia fracture and the upcoming surgery she faces. Meanwhile, Scott opens up about his ongoing experience with aortic valve leakage, a condition that will eventually require valve replacement surgery. Together, they explore the emotional and physical tolls of these health challenges and discuss how they've adapted to these unexpected life changes.
In addition to personal stories, they address the importance of being proactive with your health, including the critical role of short- and long-term disability insurance. They share practical tips on how to prepare for health-related issues and emphasize the need for regular checkups, especially for the "5 Horsemen of Health": heart disease, diabetes, cancer, obesity, and mental health.
Tune in for a candid and heartfelt conversation that encourages listeners to be their own health advocates, take charge of their well-being, and prepare for life's inevitable health challenges. Plus, don’t miss out on a special sponsor offer from Habit Coffee Company—mention Our Life Beyond in October for 10% off your coffee order!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Well, hello, hello, hello.
(00:09):
Welcome to our Life Beyond the podcast where we explore how to navigate and hopefully thrive
through some of life's biggest transitions.
I'm your co-host, Scott Dibben, and I've teamed up with my great friend and mentor,
Connie King, to share some stories, strategies, and insights that helped us adapt to the ever-changing
seasons of our life.
(00:30):
Whether your life transition is divorce, death of a loved one, switching careers, moving
to a new city, or just trying to figure out what the hell is next, we're with you every
step of the way.
But always remember, we're not therapists, just fellow travelers with a knack for finding
humor in the chaos and maybe some untraditional method of overcoming what life dishes out
(00:51):
to us.
Hopefully you'll have fun embarking on this journey.
So now, let's get started.
This episode of Our Life Beyond is proudly sponsored by Habit Coffee Company.
Located right off Highway 60 in Rogersville, Habit Coffee is more than just your average
coffee shop.
(01:12):
They serve up delicious, scratch-made breakfast and lunch options daily.
And they even specialize in catering local events.
With their state-inspected kitchen and a passion for quality, every visit to Habit Coffee is
a treat.
Now that the construction is complete, getting to Habit Coffee is easier than ever.
Stop by and during the month of October, mention Our Life Beyond to get a 10% discount off
(01:37):
your coffee order.
Thank you to Habit Coffee for being a proud sponsor of Our Life Beyond.
Make Habit Coffee your new habit today.
Well, hello, Connie.
Hello, Scott.
How are you?
I'm doing well.
How are you, Connie?
I'm good.
I'm doing good.
Well, welcome back to season two.
(01:58):
Woohoo!
This is exciting.
I didn't know if we would actually get to a season two.
You want to tell them why we're doing a season two?
Sure.
So, if you listen to any part of season one, you probably heard that we had planned for,
I think we actually planned for eight episodes.
(02:19):
That was our first goal.
We were going to do eight episodes, see how it went.
Well, through those eight episodes, actually we ended up doing 10 because we found out
that's a quote unquote season.
We got such a great response that we decided to go to season two and do it again.
I'm so happy and I'm so thankful that we get to be a part of this, that we get to be the
(02:47):
ones who allow like allow a little insight for outsiders to help them not feel alone,
to help them feel like they have a tribe.
That was something we heard a lot of, please continue.
We feel like we're understood.
Yeah, it was really heartwarming for me and I have loved it.
(03:08):
So we decided to do season two.
Yeah, and looking at our statistics from the podcast website, after talking with you, I'm
like, I think we need to because really we've reached so many different countries.
Really the two places that we have no listeners today is in South America and Canada.
Other than that, we've had listeners all across the world, which is interesting to me.
(03:30):
Okay, so here's our call to action because I don't normally do this, but if you know
somebody in Canada or South America, share the podcast.
We would appreciate it immensely because we want to touch every continent, every country.
We just want to touch people because I think that's such an important thing for us to feel
like even if we are in different countries, we want to feel like we all are part of the
(03:56):
greater good.
Absolutely.
I was looking at our website today and right now we are in the top 28% for websites for
the place that's hosting us, which is really cool when you think about it.
The only thing I can think of is maybe we've got a lot of listeners that haven't got a
platform they listen on as far as Spotify or YouTube music or one of those.
(04:19):
So they're going to our website, which is very cool, which also is going to push us,
Connie.
We've got to start posting maybe some pictures and a few other things up there to feel more
connected to the people out there.
Yeah, of course.
I would love that.
And I would love for people to respond on our website.
Also tell us what your thoughts are.
Tell us your stories.
(04:40):
Tell us things you want to hear about.
We would love all of that.
Yeah.
And speaking of that, so let me hit on the things that we did hear from last season,
if you're okay with it.
The subjects that people come to us with and said we'd love to hear about, one of them
is job changes, midlife, such as where we're at.
That's a good one.
We have already started looking for somebody that could help us with that because we do
(05:02):
want to get guests on here.
I think hearing from other people on the outside is great and it really helps us to better
understand what's going on in the community and the world around us.
The second one is dating.
Oddly enough, I was surprised, but people want to hear about our dating.
Midlife.
I had one that came to us about caring for a disabled child and that leads me to believe
(05:25):
there's some people out there that are probably having to go through that right now and trying
to figure out what does that look like?
Is there a better way of doing it or a better way to get through it?
And then the one that we're going to do today is health as we age, Connie.
That's the episode for today.
Which is actually pretty funny because you and I had discussed this, but it wasn't going
(05:46):
to be in the early parts of this season.
No it wasn't.
Because of some lack of a better word, shit that happened, we decided to put this first.
And so you want to kind of start talking about that.
Yeah.
So we thanked everybody for season one.
Let's look forward to season two.
Now let's jump into basically health as we age.
(06:09):
We both have a story for it, but I want Connie to start it out first because it's probably,
I would say it's freshest in your mind.
Is that a good way to put it?
So please, if you don't mind Connie, jump in and let's hear your story.
Sure.
Well, first of all, I kind of want to preface this because our stories are completely different.
Mine is pretty much, it's a low level health concern or a low level health trauma.
(06:34):
Yours is definitely much deeper, much more concerning.
So we thought it would be a good idea if we kind of brought both into play because there
are some real similarities just because it's healthcare for both of us.
So let me just kind of go on and start my story.
If you don't know, I am a animal lover.
(06:55):
At our house we have three dogs and four cats and a bunch of chickens.
And last week I went outside to check the chickens, feed them, gather eggs.
And I have a standard poodle and I have a Rottweiler puppy who is actually 105 pounds.
And the standard poodle loves to run as fast as she can.
(07:17):
And the Rottweiler likes to follow her as fast as he can.
Now my standard poodle Piper is nimble.
She is coordinated.
She's agile.
She can do anything she wants to and it looks beautiful.
Titan, the Rottweiler, is just like a bull in a china shop.
So I'm walking outside and Piper comes blazing by me as fast as she can.
(07:44):
And do you know that scene in Top Gun where they buzz the tower?
Yes.
It's kind of like that.
She buzzes me.
And he's behind her probably three steps and he comes running at me and he hits me full
bore 105 pounds and he nails my leg and immediately I was down.
(08:06):
I knew something was wrong and I couldn't move my leg.
I was in immense pain and I started screaming for Jeff and of course he couldn't hear me.
The other thing is we do live out in the country.
We live on 13 acres and so we have neighbors on each side of us and they're usually outside
(08:27):
and I was screaming as loud as I could hoping, oh will they hear and get a hold of Jeff?
Well, nobody heard anything.
So I crawled on my butt like I pulled myself with my arms and pushed myself with my one
good leg and got up to the house and went to the emergency room.
(08:50):
It was quite the ordeal and I ended up, I do have a broken leg.
It's called a tibial plateau fracture.
I went on the internet and somebody said, don't borrow worry, which is exactly what
happened.
I just started going, oh gosh, this is going to be terrible.
This is that.
It's going to be horrible because I do have to have surgery and that happens tomorrow
(09:10):
morning.
So that has been my story.
And then as we move on after your story, we'll kind of talk about some of the similarities.
But yeah, I'm really concerned.
I'll tell you why, because I'm allergic to most narcotics.
And so the pain management for me is scary.
I've had my gallbladder removed and really not any pain, just nausea with that one.
(09:36):
So we're kind of right now, we're kind of stepping, treading lightly.
But I think it'll be okay because the emergency room doctor and I had a really great discussion.
She was so helpful and she did give me a narcotic that I've not had any reaction to.
It's not controlled the pain to where it's gone, but it's made it manageable.
(09:57):
And that's all I'm going to ask for at this point.
Well, and I have to give you kudos real quick.
Right now, Jeff had sent me a picture of you set up in your desk and I have to post that
somewhere.
But yeah, you're doing a podcast with a broken leg knowing that tomorrow morning you're going
in for surgery.
I appreciate you doing this.
Well, and can I also, so before you post that picture, everybody just has to know that this
(10:22):
awful moomoo I have on is just because it's so easy to get on and off and to maneuver
around.
But yeah, oh my goodness, I was laughing when he got this out of the closet and I was like,
I don't care.
It's ugly, but comfortable.
I can understand that.
There's my preface story for that.
Yeah.
So that is my story.
(10:43):
I have no idea how this will affect me long term.
I guess I'll find out more tomorrow.
But that is the right now story, the low level health story.
How about yours?
So mine, I definitely haven't shared it out public.
I've shared it with the people around me.
My story is a little bit different, of course.
It's a little more long term.
Let me see.
It starts back several years back.
(11:04):
I had went to a doctor, I think it was for strep throat, and they noticed that I had
a heart murmur.
I'll be very open, but I'm also a little bit frustrated with our medical system and
I'll explain that as we go along.
But they asked me to go see my, what is it, your general practitioner or whatever it is
that you use annually.
(11:24):
So I did.
I sat up on a point, I went in there, they didn't hear any heart murmur and said, well,
maybe it's just because you're sick.
And then probably two and a half years ago when I started dating Ellen, she right away
because of her being a veterinarian, she right away was laying on my chest or something and
could hear that heart murmur.
And she said, you really need to get that checked.
So during my annual visit, which I do every year, I went in and I once again said, hey,
(11:48):
I think I've got a heart murmur.
I even remember that they had someone in there that they were, it was a learning experience
as far as she was with somebody.
And she listened to my heart murmur and said what level it was and had the other person
listen to it.
And then we talked for a little bit and she said, well, you're active.
You said you're, which I am a big runner, lifted weights.
I cycled pretty good diet.
(12:10):
So my cholesterol levels was good and all of that.
So she's like, I wouldn't worry about it.
I think the stat that she gave me, and I could be incorrect, but I think she said that 85%
of the people that have heart murmurs, that it's nothing they're concerned about.
So she said, I wouldn't worry about it.
Just let's monitor everything else.
(12:30):
And I said, okay.
I mean, once again, I'm not a doctor.
So I have no idea what I should be looking out for.
And a year, year and a half went by, however long it was.
I know it took me a little longer because of some travel getting in the next time.
Ellen really pushed me this time.
She said, your heart murmur is getting worse because she, as you can imagine being close
to me, she hears it more often than a lot of people.
(12:52):
So I went in this time and once again, I said, hey, I've got a heart murmur.
And she's like, yep, you sure do.
And I went through, we went through the typical, what do you do for exercise and all this.
She once again told me, she said, I don't think I'd worry about it if I knew.
And I think she used the same stat.
And I said, this time I pressed it.
I said, well, do you think there's any concern with me getting it further checked?
(13:14):
And she said, well, we could do an echocardiogram if you want.
And we can just see from there.
But she said, I don't know how insurance will work with that.
And I said, well, let's do it.
I mean, whatever it costs.
So to make a long story short, I went in for the echo and this is where it gets a little
frustrating.
I went in for the echo.
They did an OK job of it, but it wasn't a very clear echo, I guess.
(13:35):
And I'm not sure why, not a professional in that.
But when it went back to my primary care doctor, she just put a note in my message to me back
and forth through their app and put a note in there that said, I'm going to send you
to a cardiologist.
She said, the center of your heart is enlarged and you have an aortic valve leakage and just
left it there.
Holy shit.
(13:56):
And you're like, what?
Well, and to get into a cardiologist took about two weeks.
And for me, honestly, it's frustrating because at that point, you know, I'm like how we could
have not that we could have done anything about it, but we could have probably noticed
this two years ago.
If you would have just told me there's some things that I could look at.
But at that point, I went in to the cardiologist.
(14:17):
He did once again, review the echocardiogram and said it really wasn't clear enough.
Not only that he doesn't like to just use that, but he did say he thought I had a moderate
aortic valve leakage and I would be sooner or later need of a valve.
They'll replace the valves what they'll do, but they don't do that until it gets severe.
(14:39):
And right now, mine's at moderate.
So to verify that I went in and I did a cardiac CT is what it was called.
So I went in and once again, that takes two or three weeks to get scheduled for actually,
I think a month.
I got to CT completed and he messaged me back and what we are, we're just waiting for it
now.
So every six months I have to do an echo and I should say annually every year I'm going
(15:03):
to do a CT and he'll monitor that aortic valve.
And as soon as it gets to the severe state and basically the way he put it was it's not
if it's when I'll go in and I'll have to have the valve replacement.
Along this way also, it's got to completely change my life because the way I am, because
I cannot lift any heavy weights anymore.
(15:26):
From what he tells me that valve in there, basically what happens is he doesn't want
high blood pressure, which I don't have, but when you're lifting weights, whenever you
are pushing, especially if you hold your breath in at all, but you get this huge spike in
blood pressure and he said that will worsen my valve.
So he said no heavy weight lifting.
I can go back to running.
(15:46):
He has no problem with me running.
So I'm trying to put my focus into becoming a better runner now instead of kind of an
all around person.
That's mine.
How old are you?
53?
Yeah, I'm 53.
We're about the same age.
So what's interesting is I think one of the reasons this became so important is you and
I started talking about it and we realized so many people in our age group are starting
(16:11):
to have big health concerns.
Absolutely.
Think about our friends.
I mean, I've known breast cancer, there's cancer everywhere.
I mean, it's not an age thing, but yeah, you're right, Connie.
So let's talk about how to handle from our experience as this complete opinion, but how
do we handle these things from our perspective?
(16:33):
What is it that we feel like is the best advice we could give our listeners?
Well, if you don't mind, let me start just because I've went through a bunch of this
preventative stuff.
First of all, I think living a healthy life, I do think my exercise helped me.
My family is not known for longevity.
They're just not.
I mean, most of my family, I want to say most of them pass away before even retirement age.
(16:56):
So my goal in life was not to or try and prolong my life as much as possible.
And I've read a lot of books.
Peter Attia is one of my favorite ones to read, which I don't know if anybody's read
any, but he talks about longevity and that's the reason he's one of my favorite.
And he talks about, it's called the five horsemen of health and the five horsemen are heart
disease, diabetes, cancer, obesity, and mental health.
(17:19):
If you combine all five of those together, he said that, well, actually the internet
says the statistics out there, about 60% of the people will die in their lifetime from
one of those five.
And what I think, I mean, think about it when we talk about heart disease, diabetes and
cancer, even mental health and obesity, I'm not saying you can prevent them long time,
(17:41):
but we should be monitoring it yearly, I think.
And what is your thought Connie?
Well, and I think that's the big thing is so many times because I have this quick health
issue, you know, I have a broken leg.
Yes.
But I also something that I have had to deal with for years and years is I have familial
(18:02):
high triglycerides.
At one point I had two doctors, my triglycerides were in the 1200s and I had two doctors say,
we've never seen triglycerides this high.
And I'm like, okay, so what can we do?
And there was absolutely nothing done.
They didn't want to put me on any medication.
They didn't want to do any other heart scans.
(18:22):
They wanted nothing else.
They were like, we will just monitor this.
Absolutely.
And I'm thinking, wait just a minute.
So I found another doctor and I did the same thing that you did.
And I got a, I actually did a coronary calcium scan.
Yes.
Make sure, you know, things were working okay.
Because I am from a family that lives forever, both sides, but it still doesn't mean there's
(18:45):
those whoopses.
You know, I don't want to be the whoops in my family.
So I think really pressuring doctors or the healthcare facility or healthcare system to
do what you know, like do your research, go in there and say, I'm demanding this.
The other thing is, is if you won't do it because insurance won't pay for it, then that's
(19:07):
on you.
Well, I mean, I want to say something on that real quick, Connie.
They said my insurance wouldn't pay for the echocardiogram.
It was part of my deductible, but they took it.
Yes.
I think what it is, and I can tell you, my cardiologist said this because he wanted to
CT scan.
And I said, you know, I said, okay, you know, do we have to get pre-approval?
And he said, yes, I'll probably have to go back and forth four or five times to give
(19:29):
them the right diagnosis to basically get it counted for your insurance or qualify.
But he was willing to do that.
I think I'm not saying laziness, that's probably not a fair statement.
Maybe it's that they don't have time.
I don't think that they want to be an advocate for you and push two or three times to get
some of these exams that you might need.
Which I'm going to tell you, that is so interesting to me.
(19:51):
And I get it.
Their job is healthcare.
Their job is not, you know, insurance to pay for it or, you know, that kind of thing.
And granted, I have heard there are people in the hospitals that do that, but you've
never seen those people.
Those are not the people you have the relationship with.
You have the relationship with the doctor.
But what really surprises me, and this is something I really want to bring up, you are
(20:13):
a W-2 employee.
Yes.
I am self-employed.
Yep.
We do two completely different things as far as quote unquote insurance goes.
So you have insurance and I do not.
And I've chosen not to because when I have gone on to the Affordable Care Act ACA, the
(20:34):
marketplace, what I have discovered is that my deductibles and my premiums cost me more
than if I was part of a share program.
So we've chosen to do a share program is what we've done.
And for the most part, there are absolutely so few questions asked.
I don't go through this, oh, it will get denied.
(20:54):
It will get this.
We get to choose whatever the doctor asks us to do.
Or if I say to the doctor, I would like this done and they do it, it gets paid for after
my deductible.
I had no idea.
Now pre-existing conditions sometimes have to wait a few years.
But again, it has been simple, simple.
Now what a lot of people, it's not simple, is like I pay for it out of pocket and then
(21:18):
I turn it in and then they reimburse me.
And that can be stressful to some people.
Some people can't do that and there are share programs that actually work with you.
Also there's financing for procedures.
If you, you know, that's the thing we all have to remember.
I mean, nobody cares about going and buying a new car and financing it or whatever else
(21:38):
you have to finance.
I mean, your health is one of the main things that we have that we should be monitoring
for if you've got to go and pay $200 a month to a hospital, do it.
Absolutely.
And some people normally don't have interest on their payments.
But can I tell you what happened on this experience?
So we were for this pre-admission for my surgery and this surprised me.
(22:02):
I didn't know any of this was happening.
I had the pre-admission and this girl said to me, how are you paying?
And I said, oh, I'm self-pay.
And she said, would you like to talk to a financial aid person?
And I said, what does that mean?
And she said, well, sometimes we have like a pool of money that they draw from for self-pay
or they have different things to do.
(22:22):
And I said, sure, let's see what this is all about.
So the next day the lady called me and she said, how much did you make this month?
Well, this happened on October 1st.
And she called me on October 3rd.
And I was like, well, I haven't made anything this month.
And she goes, how much do you plan on making in the next two weeks?
(22:42):
And I was like, well, I have a broken leg.
I'm having surgery.
I'm making nothing.
I can't work.
And she said, OK, well, I'm going to submit this form to Missouri Medicaid.
And I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute.
Let's talk about this a second.
I said, you know, from a yearly standpoint, I may make too much.
(23:03):
And she said, we don't look at it yearly.
We look at it weekly.
And I was like, are you kidding?
And she was like, no.
And I was like, oh, my gosh.
So it's so interesting because, and she told me, she's like, you totally qualify for this.
Now, I don't know what that means.
I don't know what they'll pay for.
I don't know what I'm going to get paid for because my backup is I have a share program.
(23:24):
But I was thinking about that.
And I was like, we're all so worried about paying for medical stuff.
There is help out there.
There's help that a lot of times you don't know.
Just ask for a financial person to help you.
And those are things that I think also happen, needs to happen in our medical society is
that those things need to be put at the forefront because we're so used to insurance, insurance,
(23:49):
insurance.
But there's other ways of getting help too.
Oh, absolutely.
I agree.
And we've all heard the stories about self-pay actually is cheaper a lot of times than insurance.
So even when you hear some of these ridiculous figures that, you know, for procedures or
whatever, you know, go in and talk and figure out what that real cost is because it might
(24:09):
not be.
Well, and that's exactly right.
The surgeon called and said it was their office and she said, so the surgeon's bill is 2000
some odd dollars.
And how are you going to what's your insurance?
And I was like, I'm self-paying.
She goes, oh, you get a 58% discount.
Wow.
And so she gave me the discounted price.
(24:29):
I paid for it.
We were done.
Wow.
Okay.
Yeah.
So let's talk about being a W-2 employee then.
Okay, let's go.
It's a little bit different.
Of course, I have insurance through my work.
Most of the insurance now, and I don't know if everybody out there has seen this, but
we used to have, I think they were called PPOs and HMOs where if you went into a doctor,
(24:50):
it wasn't any more than $20.
You know, there was, and I don't know enough about insurance on that end to explain the
difference other than that.
But now most of the insurance that's available to me where I work is high deductible insurance.
And when you think high deductible, some of us may think it's a ridiculous amount, but
it really isn't.
So my high deductible insurance, for me as an individual, I think it's 2,500 a year is
(25:14):
my deductible.
After that, they will, you know, I think it's an 80-20 split and there's a cap as far as
how much I have to pay.
And it may be, I think the maximum out of my pocket is like 6,000 something.
Of course, when you have a family, it's different because for a family, because I'm just an
individual, but if you have a family plan, that 2,500 I think goes up to possibly 6,000
(25:38):
deductible and you could owe as much as 11,000.
So, but I want to go back to even that kind of insurance is still okay because none of
us are afraid or most of us aren't afraid to go out and buy an $11,000 car.
And I, you know, do what's right for your health.
Also with mine, with my plan, all the wellness each year is free.
My go in and get my annual visit, that is a hundred percent paid.
(26:01):
My blood work is a hundred percent paid.
I looked today and it was interesting, cancer screenings are free, you know, any kind of
a screening like that, anything, whether it's a mammogram or whatever it is, that's a hundred
percent paid.
They call that wellness.
So there, if you are a W-2 employee and I believe most companies are set up the same
(26:21):
way, there's no reason that you're not getting mammograms done.
There's no reasons that you're not going in and getting stuff checked because I think,
you know, you should be able to do that.
Well, I think that's the other part of our purpose of this is to really encourage people
to take their health in their own hands and to get those preventative and the pre-screenings.
(26:42):
Even if you don't have those free through your insurance, I know around our area, we
have clinics that will do it free.
And so there's very few things I believe that you can't have done for a very discounted
price or free.
Yes.
So very, very, very much take your health into your own hands.
(27:03):
Yeah.
Because once again, if we go back, you know, what they consider the five horsemen of health,
the five things that kills more people than anything in the U.S., those are things that
you should be getting yearly checkups.
I mean, you know, breast cancer, we know that the earlier they detect it, the more successful
any kind of cancer.
So you have to be an advocate for your own health.
You know, I did not grow up going to the doctor for much of anything.
(27:26):
I just didn't, it wasn't the way we were in my family.
So even going into the doctor yearly and then me pushing to go get further testing, a doctor,
I've always, I'm not going to say looked up to them, but you always respect them and think
that they know more than you.
But the older I get, whenever I go in there, I'm not afraid to challenge them and say,
you know, why wouldn't I get this test?
(27:47):
Why wouldn't I do this?
Well, I wouldn't have done that when I was 25 or 30.
You just need to be an advocate for your own health because the way the system is set up
today, it's just set up to look for anything major in a very obvious way.
You know your body more than they do.
If you feel something's not right, you see something's not right, you have to push, I
(28:07):
think, to go in and get the further testing.
Absolutely.
I would not have, I would not know today what I know about my heart if Ellen wouldn't have
pushed me and I wouldn't have pushed back on my doctor.
That doctor had me convinced, well, should I keep going or not?
And I decided to because I didn't want to face Ellen, to be honest.
But you know, they basically said, you're a runner, you do this, you're not overweight,
(28:32):
your blood works in line.
I don't know if I would worry about it.
But something in me just said, let's get the testing done.
I mean, you know, if it costs a little bit of money, at least it's worth the peace of
mind.
Right.
And I think you look at that very well when you say, you know, we don't mind financing
a car, we don't mind spending money on these things.
But if insurance doesn't cover our medical expenses, we freak out, you know, and I think
(28:53):
you look at it in a better way of, you know what, maybe I do have to pay for it, but maybe
it will help me in the long run.
Absolutely.
Well, another thing I just wanted to bring up as a W-2 employee, one thing you should
look at is your disability insurance.
You know, whenever I go, because I do know I will have to go get a valve replacement
(29:15):
sometime down the road, it may be a year, it may be five years, I have no idea.
I have short-term disability and long-term disability through my work.
So I'm lucky and fortunate my work actually pays for those.
But short-term disability for me, if I was to go in and they consider me disabled, I
can't work basically.
For the first nine weeks, they give me 100% of my pay.
(29:37):
And then after nine weeks, up to half a year, 26 weeks, they'll give me 66 and two thirds
of my pay.
At that point in time, if I'm still out for something, long-term disability kicks in and
that would pay, after that week 26, it will pay 60% of what I make until basically I retire,
till the age of 65.
(29:57):
I went and looked through all the documentation, even if I don't work for the company I'm working
for because it happened while I had insurance.
This kicks in, this continues all the way through until retirement age to where I could
use Social Security, my 401Ks, all of that at that point in time.
So I think it's terrible at our age.
When I was young, I didn't even consider looking at short-term and long-term disability.
(30:21):
If you work somewhere and you get a W-2 and you've got the possibility of getting these
disability insurances, look at them.
Mine happens to be free.
My employer pays for them.
But even if they're $2 or $7 of the pay period, peace of mind that if something happens and
you are disabled, you're out of work is really all it is for 10 weeks, I get 100% of my pay.
(30:43):
That's amazing.
And for a person who is self-employed, so one of the things I've really noticed with
self-employed people is you have people, and I'm generalizing, but you have people who,
if they're self-employed, they're not making much or if they're self-employed, they're
making a lot.
So something like this, like a broken leg, could put people under if they don't have
(31:05):
a stash of cash somewhere.
If they don't have passive income, if they don't have money coming in somehow, just this
broken leg because not only am I helpless, Jeff is having to stay home with me pretty
much every moment.
And because at this point, since I haven't had the surgery, I can't put any weight on
(31:27):
this leg at all.
And so I can't get my own food.
I can't carry a glass.
Our home isn't big enough to have a wheelchair going through certain doors.
So if he and I hadn't weren't set up the way we were as self-employed people, this could
have very, very easily taken us down, could have bankrupted us.
(31:48):
And it's just a broken leg.
I mean, so many kids go through it, so many adults go through it, but as a self-employed
person, I think about that.
So I love the thought about disability.
One thing also just on top of that, at one point, my late husband, Rob, had a disability
policy for a self-employed owner.
(32:09):
It was for an owner.
And he happened to break his hip and he couldn't stand for long periods of time, which was
his job.
He stood for long periods of time.
If he hadn't have had that, I don't actually know what we would have done because that
helped us get through a really, really, really difficult time.
You know, him healing his hip and it was so bad, he had to go into like hyperbaric chambers
(32:33):
and stuff like that.
So it was just, yeah, it was a big mess.
So I do believe in those disability policies.
They're normally worth it.
And a lot of times you do have to fight to get them, but once you're approved, you're
good.
Yeah.
And I just go back to, these are not things I worried about when I was 20, and I probably
should have.
But you know, you would go in and you would work somewhere, they would give you the benefit
(32:56):
packages.
And one of the things I looked at was honestly, okay, what is my 401k match?
What does my family insurance cost?
I really, I just thought insurance was insurance, you know, you were looking for what the cost
is.
But you know, as we, as we get older, we, all of us are going to go through something
sooner or later, something's going to happen.
Whether it's, whether it's minor, whether it's what you're running into today, Connie,
(33:19):
or something more like mine, something's going to happen along the way.
And we just have to be prepared or at least have to know what, what we can do with it
when that happens, such as the short term disability, such as long term disability,
or for your sake, you know, at least knowing that you've got three months worth of six
months worth of, you know, money to where you can at least live through that period
(33:41):
of time.
Right.
And I'm sitting here thinking about, you know, my kids, they are at minimum wage jobs, they
don't have insurance, they live on their own.
But if their paycheck to paycheck, if this would have happened to one of them, they would
have had to have moved back in with us, which is fine.
It's just, it's, you know, families don't normally want to do that.
(34:01):
And I would encourage anybody to talk to their employers and say, you know, what is it we
can do?
How can we get something to take care of your employees?
Or if you're, if you own a company, I would encourage you to get minimums for your employees.
I mean, the minimums if you can, I mean, I know insurance is expensive and hard, even
(34:23):
a portion going towards the ACA if you had to.
I mean, I'm just, this has been a wake up call for me because I sat there and I went,
oh my goodness, this could have put us under.
Yes, it's true.
And another thing that we haven't talked about Connie, how much tougher would this be if
you were doing this on your own and you didn't have Jeff?
Oh, I wouldn't be able to do it.
(34:43):
You know, I was watching a video of course on YouTube about this surgery and it was a
girl in England and she was talking about how they actually have nurses because they
have universal healthcare.
They have nurses that will help you out.
So you can hire a nurse that will come to your house and help you out.
(35:03):
And I was like, how nice would that be?
How nice would that be?
Yes.
Yeah.
But no, I, I feel terrible and mentally let's go through that because this has been a mental
game for me.
Yeah.
Why don't you start with that because I know that's something that you wanted to talk about.
Yeah.
This one has been hard.
Me not being able to do anything has, I am a doer.
(35:26):
I am a let's do, let's action.
And you're very independent.
You don't like people doing things for you.
I do not.
You do not.
It has been a lesson because Jeff also has to keep his mental health up.
He has, he does have some physical issues, but he has to keep his own mental health,
(35:49):
his physical health good.
And sometimes when you're caring for somebody 24 seven, you forget to care for yourself.
And so that has been not only am I thinking about him and his health, I'm thinking about
me and just, you know, how do I get a glass of water or that kind of thing?
And yeah, it's played mentally.
(36:10):
The other day he did something and we were talking and I noticed a look on his face and
what went through my head was, oh, I'm such a pain to take care of.
He's going to want to divorce me.
And I brought it up and he was like, what are you talking?
Like that's where my mental state went, which says more about me.
But you know, it does, it does weird things to your head when somebody else has to take
(36:35):
care of you.
And I think about it in the mornings, I will crutch out to the living room where I can
actually get in a wheelchair and he'll wheel me out on our covered screened in back patio.
And I just sit and look and I remind myself of my grandmother who would sit in her wheelchair
and she couldn't do anything for herself.
(36:57):
And she did that for years.
And I just couldn't imagine because she was a lot like me.
She was very independent.
And as we get older, we're going to have to humble ourselves.
Yes, we are.
But we also need to take care of ourselves so we don't end up in some of those positions,
you know, some of those health issues that allow us to not take care of ourselves.
(37:19):
But yeah, mentally, that's been hard.
How about you?
Because here's a question mentally, do you feel like you're just waiting like a ticking
time bomb?
Yeah, it's so interesting.
And I'm still trying to process some of it.
So whenever I got my first echo back and my primary care doctor basically just sent me
a message and said, yeah, we're sending you to a cardiologist.
(37:43):
Right then I had travel scheduled through work.
I travel a lot.
I love travel, but I'm like, whoa.
So I went ahead, I talked to my boss at work and I said, I'm going to limit some travel.
I'm going to do this and this because I had no idea.
I'm like, I might have to go into a surgery in three weeks.
I have no idea what's expected.
So at that point in time, I kind of paused the life.
(38:06):
I mean, in a sense, I didn't run.
I didn't do any weight training.
I was watching when I was eating, but you know, you're in this zone because you don't
know what they're going to tell you and they're the experts.
All you know is there's something wrong.
And a lot of times getting in to see an expert can take two or three weeks, which it did
for me.
So just like you, you do a lot of research on the internet and me being a guy that loves
(38:29):
technology, you know, I'm pushing stuff into AI and saying, you know, if you're a doctor
with and you have these results, what would you tell a patient?
Just trying to get anything because we can't get enough information at that point.
I go to the cardiologist.
He basically says, we're going to keep looking at it long-term until I get to the point I
have to do it.
So it's funny, Connie, even right after that, I'm like, well, I don't know six months from
(38:54):
now when I go back in for an echo, should I not schedule any travel around that?
And then I stopped and I said, you know what, I got to live.
I can't worry about it.
I will worry about it, but I've got to go ahead and just start living life, continue
to do what I'm allowed to do, do as much travel as I possibly can because I love to do that
and just try to, you know, try and live healthy.
(39:14):
But other than that, I'm not going to stop doing what I'm doing.
I don't want to stop it.
I don't want to sit and wait for the decision that it's time.
So I'm just going to continue to do and to do what I'm doing right now until it, you
know, gets to the point that the surgeon says, okay, we've got to schedule surgery.
And I'm really proud of you for that because that can be a really scary, hard thing to
do.
(39:35):
And yet, you know, coming from a husband that died, I look back and I go, I wish he would
have lived life more.
I wish he hadn't have lived life to work.
So I'm really proud that you are still living life because none of us know what's going
to happen, you know.
Yeah, we don't.
And you know, not only are you living life for you, but you can't pause life for the
(39:57):
person you're with either, Connie.
You know, it's not fair to them, especially when they want to live a big life, which Ellen,
you know, loves traveling.
She's getting ready to go to Africa.
And on her way back, I'm going to meet her, I think, in Rome is the plan here in about
a month, I believe.
So I went ahead and I've got all that scheduled.
You know, I'm just proceeding on with life.
I'm focusing a lot on running now, a lot, because I used to do other activities.
(40:21):
I used to like lifting weights.
I used to like doing some other things that I can't do now.
You know, I just put a focus on what I can do.
And I'm kind of driven.
So I've already planned on, you know, what I want to do.
I'm going to do the 10K, the half marathon, I'm going to do everything.
There for a while, I had no plans of that.
I just run when I to be running.
But now I'm going to put more focus into it.
(40:42):
Nice.
So what are your biggest takeaways, just bullet points, biggest takeaways from your health
journey?
You're going to do mine with being a W-2 employee, and then you do yours with being self-employed
because it's different.
It's weird, but it's different.
So first of all, my big takeaways are really look at all the benefits that you have at
(41:02):
work.
If there is a short term and a long term disability and it's $2 a week and this is $6 a week and
you're like, I don't want to, you know, I don't want to pay that.
Think about it.
I mean, this is the time of year from October to January.
This is the time of year when you're renewing your health care at work.
I've got to have mine done, I think October 15th.
So look at your plans, look at what's possible out there and just be thinking about as you
(41:25):
get older and I say older even, you know, cancer isn't a thing that only affects the
older people.
So be looking at what little cost it would be to secure what maybe you need for your
family.
Along with that, the second bullet point, take care of yourself.
Whenever you sat down of a night and you've worked all day, I mean, be thinking about
(41:45):
what you could do to, you know, be better eating or to be more active.
If you're like me and you sat behind a desk of a day, I can tell you that drains your
energy and the last thing you want to do when you get out of that chair is to go run or
do something.
And I think that us that work behind a desk all day, it may even be harder because of
(42:06):
that, but you got to stay active.
I think we're all going to feel the effects of not being active, you know, later on in
life if we continue going on like what we are.
And the third thing, you know what's really interesting?
A lot of people are stay quiet about whatever's happening to them.
I think be open to whoever you want to be open to, but be open with it.
I mean, I shared it with you.
(42:27):
I've shared it with all of my family, all my friends and stuff.
And the only reason is, you know, I want to help push them, go get the screenings, go
get your yearly done just because I think it's important.
So that's my takeaway from being a W-2 employee and from knowing that longevity is not big
in my family.
What about you?
(42:48):
So ours are not so different, just a little bit different order.
So my first takeaway is take care of yourself and you are right.
So I flip houses and when I'm in the middle of a flip, I love life.
I'm tired, but I love life because all day we've worked, it's hard work, it's energetic.
I mean, we are on a downtime when we're not in the middle of flipping a house and we're
(43:12):
in the office.
I'm exhausted by two o'clock.
I'm like, can I take a nap?
So I agree with you.
Get yourself up, take a walk or whatever it is that you enjoy and go do something.
Just get some energy, take care of yourself.
And included not only is that eating, exercise, but do the pre-screenings.
(43:34):
Do anything you can.
That's my first takeaway.
The second takeaway is really stand up for yourself.
I think intuition, especially for women, I think for anybody though, is huge.
Sometimes we just don't feel like something's right.
Stand up for yourself.
I used to work with a girl who was very Southern and she used to say, you know, you can say
(43:57):
anything to anybody as long as you say it nice enough.
So of course, honey attracts more than vinegar, but stand up for yourself and do it kindly.
Do it humbly.
You may have to try more than once.
You may have to try it with a different doctor, but keep advocating for yourself.
(44:18):
So that's the second part.
And the third part, as far as financially, there are lots of options out there.
I mean, yes, you have to do research.
It's not easy or it's not simple, but it is easy.
You know, there's a lot going on in this research, but you can do it.
(44:38):
So those are my takeaways with this.
I definitely like the one about an advocate.
I think you're number two point because you're right.
Don't be afraid to push back.
You know, it really is your life.
You're the only one that really knows how you feel from day to day.
So if you feel that you need it, push and push hard if you have to go to a different
doctor, do whatever you need to do because I just believe it's that important.
(45:01):
I absolutely do.
I do too.
So, well, I hope everybody got something from this.
Stay well, take care of yourself.
Do you have any last words?
No, I'm going to be waiting for an update on your surgery and how you feel.
So we should hear that in the next week or so.
Yep.
So tomorrow morning, bright and early.
(45:21):
All right.
Well, good luck with that.
And once again, Connie, thank you so much.
I know this couldn't have been an easy experience with your leg the way it is doing this week,
but thank you.
Well, thank you for sharing your story too.
And I hope everybody takes care of themselves.
Talk to you soon.
Bye.
Bye.
Okay.
Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Our Life Beyond.
We really hope that you found our discussion insightful and inspiring or at least brought
(45:46):
a smile to your day.
If you did enjoy this episode, please consider subscribing to the podcast on your favorite
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(46:10):
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And once again, thank you for joining us on this journey.
Until next time, remember, life beyond any challenge is possible and we're here to navigate
it with you.
Stay strong, stay positive and keep moving forward.
Well, hello, hello, hello.
(00:09):
Welcome to our Life Beyond the podcast where we explore how to navigate and hopefully thrive
through some of life's biggest transitions.
I'm your co-host, Scott Dibben, and I've teamed up with my great friend and mentor,
Connie King, to share some stories, strategies, and insights that helped us adapt to the ever-changing
seasons of our life.
(00:30):
Whether your life transition is divorce, death of a loved one, switching careers, moving
to a new city, or just trying to figure out what the hell is next, we're with you every
step of the way.
But always remember, we're not therapists, just fellow travelers with a knack for finding
humor in the chaos and maybe some untraditional method of overcoming what life dishes out
(00:51):
to us.
Hopefully you'll have fun embarking on this journey.
So now, let's get started.
This episode of Our Life Beyond is proudly sponsored by Habit Coffee Company.
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(01:12):
They serve up delicious, scratch-made breakfast and lunch options daily.
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(01:37):
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Make Habit Coffee your new habit today.
Well, hello, Connie.
Hello, Scott.
How are you?
I'm doing well.
How are you, Connie?
I'm good.
I'm doing good.
Well, welcome back to season two.
(01:58):
Woohoo!
This is exciting.
I didn't know if we would actually get to a season two.
You want to tell them why we're doing a season two?
Sure.
So, if you listen to any part of season one, you probably heard that we had planned for,
I think we actually planned for eight episodes.
(02:19):
That was our first goal.
We were going to do eight episodes, see how it went.
Well, through those eight episodes, actually we ended up doing 10 because we found out
that's a quote unquote season.
We got such a great response that we decided to go to season two and do it again.
I'm so happy and I'm so thankful that we get to be a part of this, that we get to be the
(02:47):
ones who allow like allow a little insight for outsiders to help them not feel alone,
to help them feel like they have a tribe.
That was something we heard a lot of, please continue.
We feel like we're understood.
Yeah, it was really heartwarming for me and I have loved it.
(03:08):
So we decided to do season two.
Yeah, and looking at our statistics from the podcast website, after talking with you, I'm
like, I think we need to because really we've reached so many different countries.
Really the two places that we have no listeners today is in South America and Canada.
Other than that, we've had listeners all across the world, which is interesting to me.
(03:30):
Okay, so here's our call to action because I don't normally do this, but if you know
somebody in Canada or South America, share the podcast.
We would appreciate it immensely because we want to touch every continent, every country.
We just want to touch people because I think that's such an important thing for us to feel
like even if we are in different countries, we want to feel like we all are part of the
(03:56):
greater good.
Absolutely.
I was looking at our website today and right now we are in the top 28% for websites for
the place that's hosting us, which is really cool when you think about it.
The only thing I can think of is maybe we've got a lot of listeners that haven't got a
platform they listen on as far as Spotify or YouTube music or one of those.
(04:19):
So they're going to our website, which is very cool, which also is going to push us,
Connie.
We've got to start posting maybe some pictures and a few other things up there to feel more
connected to the people out there.
Yeah, of course.
I would love that.
And I would love for people to respond on our website.
Also tell us what your thoughts are.
Tell us your stories.
(04:40):
Tell us things you want to hear about.
We would love all of that.
Yeah.
And speaking of that, so let me hit on the things that we did hear from last season,
if you're okay with it.
The subjects that people come to us with and said we'd love to hear about, one of them
is job changes, midlife, such as where we're at.
That's a good one.
We have already started looking for somebody that could help us with that because we do
(05:02):
want to get guests on here.
I think hearing from other people on the outside is great and it really helps us to better
understand what's going on in the community and the world around us.
The second one is dating.
Oddly enough, I was surprised, but people want to hear about our dating.
Midlife.
I had one that came to us about caring for a disabled child and that leads me to believe
(05:25):
there's some people out there that are probably having to go through that right now and trying
to figure out what does that look like?
Is there a better way of doing it or a better way to get through it?
And then the one that we're going to do today is health as we age, Connie.
That's the episode for today.
Which is actually pretty funny because you and I had discussed this, but it wasn't going
(05:46):
to be in the early parts of this season.
No it wasn't.
Because of some lack of a better word, shit that happened, we decided to put this first.
And so you want to kind of start talking about that.
Yeah.
So we thanked everybody for season one.
Let's look forward to season two.
Now let's jump into basically health as we age.
(06:09):
We both have a story for it, but I want Connie to start it out first because it's probably,
I would say it's freshest in your mind.
Is that a good way to put it?
So please, if you don't mind Connie, jump in and let's hear your story.
Sure.
Well, first of all, I kind of want to preface this because our stories are completely different.
Mine is pretty much, it's a low level health concern or a low level health trauma.
(06:34):
Yours is definitely much deeper, much more concerning.
So we thought it would be a good idea if we kind of brought both into play because there
are some real similarities just because it's healthcare for both of us.
So let me just kind of go on and start my story.
If you don't know, I am a animal lover.
(06:55):
At our house we have three dogs and four cats and a bunch of chickens.
And last week I went outside to check the chickens, feed them, gather eggs.
And I have a standard poodle and I have a Rottweiler puppy who is actually 105 pounds.
And the standard poodle loves to run as fast as she can.
(07:17):
And the Rottweiler likes to follow her as fast as he can.
Now my standard poodle Piper is nimble.
She is coordinated.
She's agile.
She can do anything she wants to and it looks beautiful.
Titan, the Rottweiler, is just like a bull in a china shop.
So I'm walking outside and Piper comes blazing by me as fast as she can.
(07:44):
And do you know that scene in Top Gun where they buzz the tower?
Yes.
It's kind of like that.
She buzzes me.
And he's behind her probably three steps and he comes running at me and he hits me full
bore 105 pounds and he nails my leg and immediately I was down.
(08:06):
I knew something was wrong and I couldn't move my leg.
I was in immense pain and I started screaming for Jeff and of course he couldn't hear me.
The other thing is we do live out in the country.
We live on 13 acres and so we have neighbors on each side of us and they're usually outside
(08:27):
and I was screaming as loud as I could hoping, oh will they hear and get a hold of Jeff?
Well, nobody heard anything.
So I crawled on my butt like I pulled myself with my arms and pushed myself with my one
good leg and got up to the house and went to the emergency room.
(08:50):
It was quite the ordeal and I ended up, I do have a broken leg.
It's called a tibial plateau fracture.
I went on the internet and somebody said, don't borrow worry, which is exactly what
happened.
I just started going, oh gosh, this is going to be terrible.
This is that.
It's going to be horrible because I do have to have surgery and that happens tomorrow
(09:10):
morning.
So that has been my story.
And then as we move on after your story, we'll kind of talk about some of the similarities.
But yeah, I'm really concerned.
I'll tell you why, because I'm allergic to most narcotics.
And so the pain management for me is scary.
I've had my gallbladder removed and really not any pain, just nausea with that one.
(09:36):
So we're kind of right now, we're kind of stepping, treading lightly.
But I think it'll be okay because the emergency room doctor and I had a really great discussion.
She was so helpful and she did give me a narcotic that I've not had any reaction to.
It's not controlled the pain to where it's gone, but it's made it manageable.
(09:57):
And that's all I'm going to ask for at this point.
Well, and I have to give you kudos real quick.
Right now, Jeff had sent me a picture of you set up in your desk and I have to post that
somewhere.
But yeah, you're doing a podcast with a broken leg knowing that tomorrow morning you're going
in for surgery.
I appreciate you doing this.
Well, and can I also, so before you post that picture, everybody just has to know that this
(10:22):
awful moomoo I have on is just because it's so easy to get on and off and to maneuver
around.
But yeah, oh my goodness, I was laughing when he got this out of the closet and I was like,
I don't care.
It's ugly, but comfortable.
I can understand that.
There's my preface story for that.
Yeah.
So that is my story.
(10:43):
I have no idea how this will affect me long term.
I guess I'll find out more tomorrow.
But that is the right now story, the low level health story.
How about yours?
So mine, I definitely haven't shared it out public.
I've shared it with the people around me.
My story is a little bit different, of course.
It's a little more long term.
Let me see.
It starts back several years back.
(11:04):
I had went to a doctor, I think it was for strep throat, and they noticed that I had
a heart murmur.
I'll be very open, but I'm also a little bit frustrated with our medical system and
I'll explain that as we go along.
But they asked me to go see my, what is it, your general practitioner or whatever it is
that you use annually.
(11:24):
So I did.
I sat up on a point, I went in there, they didn't hear any heart murmur and said, well,
maybe it's just because you're sick.
And then probably two and a half years ago when I started dating Ellen, she right away
because of her being a veterinarian, she right away was laying on my chest or something and
could hear that heart murmur.
And she said, you really need to get that checked.
So during my annual visit, which I do every year, I went in and I once again said, hey,
(11:48):
I think I've got a heart murmur.
I even remember that they had someone in there that they were, it was a learning experience
as far as she was with somebody.
And she listened to my heart murmur and said what level it was and had the other person
listen to it.
And then we talked for a little bit and she said, well, you're active.
You said you're, which I am a big runner, lifted weights.
I cycled pretty good diet.
(12:10):
So my cholesterol levels was good and all of that.
So she's like, I wouldn't worry about it.
I think the stat that she gave me, and I could be incorrect, but I think she said that 85%
of the people that have heart murmurs, that it's nothing they're concerned about.
So she said, I wouldn't worry about it.
Just let's monitor everything else.
(12:30):
And I said, okay.
I mean, once again, I'm not a doctor.
So I have no idea what I should be looking out for.
And a year, year and a half went by, however long it was.
I know it took me a little longer because of some travel getting in the next time.
Ellen really pushed me this time.
She said, your heart murmur is getting worse because she, as you can imagine being close
to me, she hears it more often than a lot of people.
(12:52):
So I went in this time and once again, I said, hey, I've got a heart murmur.
And she's like, yep, you sure do.
And I went through, we went through the typical, what do you do for exercise and all this.
She once again told me, she said, I don't think I'd worry about it if I knew.
And I think she used the same stat.
And I said, this time I pressed it.
I said, well, do you think there's any concern with me getting it further checked?
(13:14):
And she said, well, we could do an echocardiogram if you want.
And we can just see from there.
But she said, I don't know how insurance will work with that.
And I said, well, let's do it.
I mean, whatever it costs.
So to make a long story short, I went in for the echo and this is where it gets a little
frustrating.
I went in for the echo.
They did an OK job of it, but it wasn't a very clear echo, I guess.
(13:35):
And I'm not sure why, not a professional in that.
But when it went back to my primary care doctor, she just put a note in my message to me back
and forth through their app and put a note in there that said, I'm going to send you
to a cardiologist.
She said, the center of your heart is enlarged and you have an aortic valve leakage and just
left it there.
Holy shit.
(13:56):
And you're like, what?
Well, and to get into a cardiologist took about two weeks.
And for me, honestly, it's frustrating because at that point, you know, I'm like how we could
have not that we could have done anything about it, but we could have probably noticed
this two years ago.
If you would have just told me there's some things that I could look at.
But at that point, I went in to the cardiologist.
(14:17):
He did once again, review the echocardiogram and said it really wasn't clear enough.
Not only that he doesn't like to just use that, but he did say he thought I had a moderate
aortic valve leakage and I would be sooner or later need of a valve.
They'll replace the valves what they'll do, but they don't do that until it gets severe.
(14:39):
And right now, mine's at moderate.
So to verify that I went in and I did a cardiac CT is what it was called.
So I went in and once again, that takes two or three weeks to get scheduled for actually,
I think a month.
I got to CT completed and he messaged me back and what we are, we're just waiting for it
now.
So every six months I have to do an echo and I should say annually every year I'm going
(15:03):
to do a CT and he'll monitor that aortic valve.
And as soon as it gets to the severe state and basically the way he put it was it's not
if it's when I'll go in and I'll have to have the valve replacement.
Along this way also, it's got to completely change my life because the way I am, because
I cannot lift any heavy weights anymore.
(15:26):
From what he tells me that valve in there, basically what happens is he doesn't want
high blood pressure, which I don't have, but when you're lifting weights, whenever you
are pushing, especially if you hold your breath in at all, but you get this huge spike in
blood pressure and he said that will worsen my valve.
So he said no heavy weight lifting.
I can go back to running.
(15:46):
He has no problem with me running.
So I'm trying to put my focus into becoming a better runner now instead of kind of an
all around person.
That's mine.
How old are you?
53?
Yeah, I'm 53.
We're about the same age.
So what's interesting is I think one of the reasons this became so important is you and
I started talking about it and we realized so many people in our age group are starting
(16:11):
to have big health concerns.
Absolutely.
Think about our friends.
I mean, I've known breast cancer, there's cancer everywhere.
I mean, it's not an age thing, but yeah, you're right, Connie.
So let's talk about how to handle from our experience as this complete opinion, but how
do we handle these things from our perspective?
(16:33):
What is it that we feel like is the best advice we could give our listeners?
Well, if you don't mind, let me start just because I've went through a bunch of this
preventative stuff.
First of all, I think living a healthy life, I do think my exercise helped me.
My family is not known for longevity.
They're just not.
I mean, most of my family, I want to say most of them pass away before even retirement age.
(16:56):
So my goal in life was not to or try and prolong my life as much as possible.
And I've read a lot of books.
Peter Attia is one of my favorite ones to read, which I don't know if anybody's read
any, but he talks about longevity and that's the reason he's one of my favorite.
And he talks about, it's called the five horsemen of health and the five horsemen are heart
disease, diabetes, cancer, obesity, and mental health.
(17:19):
If you combine all five of those together, he said that, well, actually the internet
says the statistics out there, about 60% of the people will die in their lifetime from
one of those five.
And what I think, I mean, think about it when we talk about heart disease, diabetes and
cancer, even mental health and obesity, I'm not saying you can prevent them long time,
(17:41):
but we should be monitoring it yearly, I think.
And what is your thought Connie?
Well, and I think that's the big thing is so many times because I have this quick health
issue, you know, I have a broken leg.
Yes.
But I also something that I have had to deal with for years and years is I have familial
(18:02):
high triglycerides.
At one point I had two doctors, my triglycerides were in the 1200s and I had two doctors say,
we've never seen triglycerides this high.
And I'm like, okay, so what can we do?
And there was absolutely nothing done.
They didn't want to put me on any medication.
They didn't want to do any other heart scans.
(18:22):
They wanted nothing else.
They were like, we will just monitor this.
Absolutely.
And I'm thinking, wait just a minute.
So I found another doctor and I did the same thing that you did.
And I got a, I actually did a coronary calcium scan.
Yes.
Make sure, you know, things were working okay.
Because I am from a family that lives forever, both sides, but it still doesn't mean there's
(18:45):
those whoopses.
You know, I don't want to be the whoops in my family.
So I think really pressuring doctors or the healthcare facility or healthcare system to
do what you know, like do your research, go in there and say, I'm demanding this.
The other thing is, is if you won't do it because insurance won't pay for it, then that's
(19:07):
on you.
Well, I mean, I want to say something on that real quick, Connie.
They said my insurance wouldn't pay for the echocardiogram.
It was part of my deductible, but they took it.
Yes.
I think what it is, and I can tell you, my cardiologist said this because he wanted to
CT scan.
And I said, you know, I said, okay, you know, do we have to get pre-approval?
And he said, yes, I'll probably have to go back and forth four or five times to give
(19:29):
them the right diagnosis to basically get it counted for your insurance or qualify.
But he was willing to do that.
I think I'm not saying laziness, that's probably not a fair statement.
Maybe it's that they don't have time.
I don't think that they want to be an advocate for you and push two or three times to get
some of these exams that you might need.
Which I'm going to tell you, that is so interesting to me.
(19:51):
And I get it.
Their job is healthcare.
Their job is not, you know, insurance to pay for it or, you know, that kind of thing.
And granted, I have heard there are people in the hospitals that do that, but you've
never seen those people.
Those are not the people you have the relationship with.
You have the relationship with the doctor.
But what really surprises me, and this is something I really want to bring up, you are
(20:13):
a W-2 employee.
Yes.
I am self-employed.
Yep.
We do two completely different things as far as quote unquote insurance goes.
So you have insurance and I do not.
And I've chosen not to because when I have gone on to the Affordable Care Act ACA, the
(20:34):
marketplace, what I have discovered is that my deductibles and my premiums cost me more
than if I was part of a share program.
So we've chosen to do a share program is what we've done.
And for the most part, there are absolutely so few questions asked.
I don't go through this, oh, it will get denied.
(20:54):
It will get this.
We get to choose whatever the doctor asks us to do.
Or if I say to the doctor, I would like this done and they do it, it gets paid for after
my deductible.
I had no idea.
Now pre-existing conditions sometimes have to wait a few years.
But again, it has been simple, simple.
Now what a lot of people, it's not simple, is like I pay for it out of pocket and then
(21:18):
I turn it in and then they reimburse me.
And that can be stressful to some people.
Some people can't do that and there are share programs that actually work with you.
Also there's financing for procedures.
If you, you know, that's the thing we all have to remember.
I mean, nobody cares about going and buying a new car and financing it or whatever else
(21:38):
you have to finance.
I mean, your health is one of the main things that we have that we should be monitoring
for if you've got to go and pay $200 a month to a hospital, do it.
Absolutely.
And some people normally don't have interest on their payments.
But can I tell you what happened on this experience?
So we were for this pre-admission for my surgery and this surprised me.
(22:02):
I didn't know any of this was happening.
I had the pre-admission and this girl said to me, how are you paying?
And I said, oh, I'm self-pay.
And she said, would you like to talk to a financial aid person?
And I said, what does that mean?
And she said, well, sometimes we have like a pool of money that they draw from for self-pay
or they have different things to do.
(22:22):
And I said, sure, let's see what this is all about.
So the next day the lady called me and she said, how much did you make this month?
Well, this happened on October 1st.
And she called me on October 3rd.
And I was like, well, I haven't made anything this month.
And she goes, how much do you plan on making in the next two weeks?
(22:42):
And I was like, well, I have a broken leg.
I'm having surgery.
I'm making nothing.
I can't work.
And she said, OK, well, I'm going to submit this form to Missouri Medicaid.
And I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute.
Let's talk about this a second.
I said, you know, from a yearly standpoint, I may make too much.
(23:03):
And she said, we don't look at it yearly.
We look at it weekly.
And I was like, are you kidding?
And she was like, no.
And I was like, oh, my gosh.
So it's so interesting because, and she told me, she's like, you totally qualify for this.
Now, I don't know what that means.
I don't know what they'll pay for.
I don't know what I'm going to get paid for because my backup is I have a share program.
(23:24):
But I was thinking about that.
And I was like, we're all so worried about paying for medical stuff.
There is help out there.
There's help that a lot of times you don't know.
Just ask for a financial person to help you.
And those are things that I think also happen, needs to happen in our medical society is
that those things need to be put at the forefront because we're so used to insurance, insurance,
(23:49):
insurance.
But there's other ways of getting help too.
Oh, absolutely.
I agree.
And we've all heard the stories about self-pay actually is cheaper a lot of times than insurance.
So even when you hear some of these ridiculous figures that, you know, for procedures or
whatever, you know, go in and talk and figure out what that real cost is because it might
(24:09):
not be.
Well, and that's exactly right.
The surgeon called and said it was their office and she said, so the surgeon's bill is 2000
some odd dollars.
And how are you going to what's your insurance?
And I was like, I'm self-paying.
She goes, oh, you get a 58% discount.
Wow.
And so she gave me the discounted price.
(24:29):
I paid for it.
We were done.
Wow.
Okay.
Yeah.
So let's talk about being a W-2 employee then.
Okay, let's go.
It's a little bit different.
Of course, I have insurance through my work.
Most of the insurance now, and I don't know if everybody out there has seen this, but
we used to have, I think they were called PPOs and HMOs where if you went into a doctor,
(24:50):
it wasn't any more than $20.
You know, there was, and I don't know enough about insurance on that end to explain the
difference other than that.
But now most of the insurance that's available to me where I work is high deductible insurance.
And when you think high deductible, some of us may think it's a ridiculous amount, but
it really isn't.
So my high deductible insurance, for me as an individual, I think it's 2,500 a year is
(25:14):
my deductible.
After that, they will, you know, I think it's an 80-20 split and there's a cap as far as
how much I have to pay.
And it may be, I think the maximum out of my pocket is like 6,000 something.
Of course, when you have a family, it's different because for a family, because I'm just an
individual, but if you have a family plan, that 2,500 I think goes up to possibly 6,000
(25:38):
deductible and you could owe as much as 11,000.
So, but I want to go back to even that kind of insurance is still okay because none of
us are afraid or most of us aren't afraid to go out and buy an $11,000 car.
And I, you know, do what's right for your health.
Also with mine, with my plan, all the wellness each year is free.
My go in and get my annual visit, that is a hundred percent paid.
(26:01):
My blood work is a hundred percent paid.
I looked today and it was interesting, cancer screenings are free, you know, any kind of
a screening like that, anything, whether it's a mammogram or whatever it is, that's a hundred
percent paid.
They call that wellness.
So there, if you are a W-2 employee and I believe most companies are set up the same
(26:21):
way, there's no reason that you're not getting mammograms done.
There's no reasons that you're not going in and getting stuff checked because I think,
you know, you should be able to do that.
Well, I think that's the other part of our purpose of this is to really encourage people
to take their health in their own hands and to get those preventative and the pre-screenings.
(26:42):
Even if you don't have those free through your insurance, I know around our area, we
have clinics that will do it free.
And so there's very few things I believe that you can't have done for a very discounted
price or free.
Yes.
So very, very, very much take your health into your own hands.
(27:03):
Yeah.
Because once again, if we go back, you know, what they consider the five horsemen of health,
the five things that kills more people than anything in the U.S., those are things that
you should be getting yearly checkups.
I mean, you know, breast cancer, we know that the earlier they detect it, the more successful
any kind of cancer.
So you have to be an advocate for your own health.
You know, I did not grow up going to the doctor for much of anything.
(27:26):
I just didn't, it wasn't the way we were in my family.
So even going into the doctor yearly and then me pushing to go get further testing, a doctor,
I've always, I'm not going to say looked up to them, but you always respect them and think
that they know more than you.
But the older I get, whenever I go in there, I'm not afraid to challenge them and say,
you know, why wouldn't I get this test?
(27:47):
Why wouldn't I do this?
Well, I wouldn't have done that when I was 25 or 30.
You just need to be an advocate for your own health because the way the system is set up
today, it's just set up to look for anything major in a very obvious way.
You know your body more than they do.
If you feel something's not right, you see something's not right, you have to push, I
(28:07):
think, to go in and get the further testing.
Absolutely.
I would not have, I would not know today what I know about my heart if Ellen wouldn't have
pushed me and I wouldn't have pushed back on my doctor.
That doctor had me convinced, well, should I keep going or not?
And I decided to because I didn't want to face Ellen, to be honest.
But you know, they basically said, you're a runner, you do this, you're not overweight,
(28:32):
your blood works in line.
I don't know if I would worry about it.
But something in me just said, let's get the testing done.
I mean, you know, if it costs a little bit of money, at least it's worth the peace of
mind.
Right.
And I think you look at that very well when you say, you know, we don't mind financing
a car, we don't mind spending money on these things.
But if insurance doesn't cover our medical expenses, we freak out, you know, and I think
(28:53):
you look at it in a better way of, you know what, maybe I do have to pay for it, but maybe
it will help me in the long run.
Absolutely.
Well, another thing I just wanted to bring up as a W-2 employee, one thing you should
look at is your disability insurance.
You know, whenever I go, because I do know I will have to go get a valve replacement
(29:15):
sometime down the road, it may be a year, it may be five years, I have no idea.
I have short-term disability and long-term disability through my work.
So I'm lucky and fortunate my work actually pays for those.
But short-term disability for me, if I was to go in and they consider me disabled, I
can't work basically.
For the first nine weeks, they give me 100% of my pay.
(29:37):
And then after nine weeks, up to half a year, 26 weeks, they'll give me 66 and two thirds
of my pay.
At that point in time, if I'm still out for something, long-term disability kicks in and
that would pay, after that week 26, it will pay 60% of what I make until basically I retire,
till the age of 65.
(29:57):
I went and looked through all the documentation, even if I don't work for the company I'm working
for because it happened while I had insurance.
This kicks in, this continues all the way through until retirement age to where I could
use Social Security, my 401Ks, all of that at that point in time.
So I think it's terrible at our age.
When I was young, I didn't even consider looking at short-term and long-term disability.
(30:21):
If you work somewhere and you get a W-2 and you've got the possibility of getting these
disability insurances, look at them.
Mine happens to be free.
My employer pays for them.
But even if they're $2 or $7 of the pay period, peace of mind that if something happens and
you are disabled, you're out of work is really all it is for 10 weeks, I get 100% of my pay.
(30:43):
That's amazing.
And for a person who is self-employed, so one of the things I've really noticed with
self-employed people is you have people, and I'm generalizing, but you have people who,
if they're self-employed, they're not making much or if they're self-employed, they're
making a lot.
So something like this, like a broken leg, could put people under if they don't have
(31:05):
a stash of cash somewhere.
If they don't have passive income, if they don't have money coming in somehow, just this
broken leg because not only am I helpless, Jeff is having to stay home with me pretty
much every moment.
And because at this point, since I haven't had the surgery, I can't put any weight on
(31:27):
this leg at all.
And so I can't get my own food.
I can't carry a glass.
Our home isn't big enough to have a wheelchair going through certain doors.
So if he and I hadn't weren't set up the way we were as self-employed people, this could
have very, very easily taken us down, could have bankrupted us.
(31:48):
And it's just a broken leg.
I mean, so many kids go through it, so many adults go through it, but as a self-employed
person, I think about that.
So I love the thought about disability.
One thing also just on top of that, at one point, my late husband, Rob, had a disability
policy for a self-employed owner.
(32:09):
It was for an owner.
And he happened to break his hip and he couldn't stand for long periods of time, which was
his job.
He stood for long periods of time.
If he hadn't have had that, I don't actually know what we would have done because that
helped us get through a really, really, really difficult time.
You know, him healing his hip and it was so bad, he had to go into like hyperbaric chambers
(32:33):
and stuff like that.
So it was just, yeah, it was a big mess.
So I do believe in those disability policies.
They're normally worth it.
And a lot of times you do have to fight to get them, but once you're approved, you're
good.
Yeah.
And I just go back to, these are not things I worried about when I was 20, and I probably
should have.
But you know, you would go in and you would work somewhere, they would give you the benefit
(32:56):
packages.
And one of the things I looked at was honestly, okay, what is my 401k match?
What does my family insurance cost?
I really, I just thought insurance was insurance, you know, you were looking for what the cost
is.
But you know, as we, as we get older, we, all of us are going to go through something
sooner or later, something's going to happen.
Whether it's, whether it's minor, whether it's what you're running into today, Connie,
(33:19):
or something more like mine, something's going to happen along the way.
And we just have to be prepared or at least have to know what, what we can do with it
when that happens, such as the short term disability, such as long term disability,
or for your sake, you know, at least knowing that you've got three months worth of six
months worth of, you know, money to where you can at least live through that period
(33:41):
of time.
Right.
And I'm sitting here thinking about, you know, my kids, they are at minimum wage jobs, they
don't have insurance, they live on their own.
But if their paycheck to paycheck, if this would have happened to one of them, they would
have had to have moved back in with us, which is fine.
It's just, it's, you know, families don't normally want to do that.
(34:01):
And I would encourage anybody to talk to their employers and say, you know, what is it we
can do?
How can we get something to take care of your employees?
Or if you're, if you own a company, I would encourage you to get minimums for your employees.
I mean, the minimums if you can, I mean, I know insurance is expensive and hard, even
(34:23):
a portion going towards the ACA if you had to.
I mean, I'm just, this has been a wake up call for me because I sat there and I went,
oh my goodness, this could have put us under.
Yes, it's true.
And another thing that we haven't talked about Connie, how much tougher would this be if
you were doing this on your own and you didn't have Jeff?
Oh, I wouldn't be able to do it.
(34:43):
You know, I was watching a video of course on YouTube about this surgery and it was a
girl in England and she was talking about how they actually have nurses because they
have universal healthcare.
They have nurses that will help you out.
So you can hire a nurse that will come to your house and help you out.
(35:03):
And I was like, how nice would that be?
How nice would that be?
Yes.
Yeah.
But no, I, I feel terrible and mentally let's go through that because this has been a mental
game for me.
Yeah.
Why don't you start with that because I know that's something that you wanted to talk about.
Yeah.
This one has been hard.
Me not being able to do anything has, I am a doer.
(35:26):
I am a let's do, let's action.
And you're very independent.
You don't like people doing things for you.
I do not.
You do not.
It has been a lesson because Jeff also has to keep his mental health up.
He has, he does have some physical issues, but he has to keep his own mental health,
(35:49):
his physical health good.
And sometimes when you're caring for somebody 24 seven, you forget to care for yourself.
And so that has been not only am I thinking about him and his health, I'm thinking about
me and just, you know, how do I get a glass of water or that kind of thing?
And yeah, it's played mentally.
(36:10):
The other day he did something and we were talking and I noticed a look on his face and
what went through my head was, oh, I'm such a pain to take care of.
He's going to want to divorce me.
And I brought it up and he was like, what are you talking?
Like that's where my mental state went, which says more about me.
But you know, it does, it does weird things to your head when somebody else has to take
(36:35):
care of you.
And I think about it in the mornings, I will crutch out to the living room where I can
actually get in a wheelchair and he'll wheel me out on our covered screened in back patio.
And I just sit and look and I remind myself of my grandmother who would sit in her wheelchair
and she couldn't do anything for herself.
(36:57):
And she did that for years.
And I just couldn't imagine because she was a lot like me.
She was very independent.
And as we get older, we're going to have to humble ourselves.
Yes, we are.
But we also need to take care of ourselves so we don't end up in some of those positions,
you know, some of those health issues that allow us to not take care of ourselves.
(37:19):
But yeah, mentally, that's been hard.
How about you?
Because here's a question mentally, do you feel like you're just waiting like a ticking
time bomb?
Yeah, it's so interesting.
And I'm still trying to process some of it.
So whenever I got my first echo back and my primary care doctor basically just sent me
a message and said, yeah, we're sending you to a cardiologist.
(37:43):
Right then I had travel scheduled through work.
I travel a lot.
I love travel, but I'm like, whoa.
So I went ahead, I talked to my boss at work and I said, I'm going to limit some travel.
I'm going to do this and this because I had no idea.
I'm like, I might have to go into a surgery in three weeks.
I have no idea what's expected.
So at that point in time, I kind of paused the life.
(38:06):
I mean, in a sense, I didn't run.
I didn't do any weight training.
I was watching when I was eating, but you know, you're in this zone because you don't
know what they're going to tell you and they're the experts.
All you know is there's something wrong.
And a lot of times getting in to see an expert can take two or three weeks, which it did
for me.
So just like you, you do a lot of research on the internet and me being a guy that loves
(38:29):
technology, you know, I'm pushing stuff into AI and saying, you know, if you're a doctor
with and you have these results, what would you tell a patient?
Just trying to get anything because we can't get enough information at that point.
I go to the cardiologist.
He basically says, we're going to keep looking at it long-term until I get to the point I
have to do it.
So it's funny, Connie, even right after that, I'm like, well, I don't know six months from
(38:54):
now when I go back in for an echo, should I not schedule any travel around that?
And then I stopped and I said, you know what, I got to live.
I can't worry about it.
I will worry about it, but I've got to go ahead and just start living life, continue
to do what I'm allowed to do, do as much travel as I possibly can because I love to do that
and just try to, you know, try and live healthy.
(39:14):
But other than that, I'm not going to stop doing what I'm doing.
I don't want to stop it.
I don't want to sit and wait for the decision that it's time.
So I'm just going to continue to do and to do what I'm doing right now until it, you
know, gets to the point that the surgeon says, okay, we've got to schedule surgery.
And I'm really proud of you for that because that can be a really scary, hard thing to
do.
(39:35):
And yet, you know, coming from a husband that died, I look back and I go, I wish he would
have lived life more.
I wish he hadn't have lived life to work.
So I'm really proud that you are still living life because none of us know what's going
to happen, you know.
Yeah, we don't.
And you know, not only are you living life for you, but you can't pause life for the
(39:57):
person you're with either, Connie.
You know, it's not fair to them, especially when they want to live a big life, which Ellen,
you know, loves traveling.
She's getting ready to go to Africa.
And on her way back, I'm going to meet her, I think, in Rome is the plan here in about
a month, I believe.
So I went ahead and I've got all that scheduled.
You know, I'm just proceeding on with life.
I'm focusing a lot on running now, a lot, because I used to do other activities.
(40:21):
I used to like lifting weights.
I used to like doing some other things that I can't do now.
You know, I just put a focus on what I can do.
And I'm kind of driven.
So I've already planned on, you know, what I want to do.
I'm going to do the 10K, the half marathon, I'm going to do everything.
There for a while, I had no plans of that.
I just run when I to be running.
But now I'm going to put more focus into it.
(40:42):
Nice.
So what are your biggest takeaways, just bullet points, biggest takeaways from your health
journey?
You're going to do mine with being a W-2 employee, and then you do yours with being self-employed
because it's different.
It's weird, but it's different.
So first of all, my big takeaways are really look at all the benefits that you have at
(41:02):
work.
If there is a short term and a long term disability and it's $2 a week and this is $6 a week and
you're like, I don't want to, you know, I don't want to pay that.
Think about it.
I mean, this is the time of year from October to January.
This is the time of year when you're renewing your health care at work.
I've got to have mine done, I think October 15th.
So look at your plans, look at what's possible out there and just be thinking about as you
(41:25):
get older and I say older even, you know, cancer isn't a thing that only affects the
older people.
So be looking at what little cost it would be to secure what maybe you need for your
family.
Along with that, the second bullet point, take care of yourself.
Whenever you sat down of a night and you've worked all day, I mean, be thinking about
(41:45):
what you could do to, you know, be better eating or to be more active.
If you're like me and you sat behind a desk of a day, I can tell you that drains your
energy and the last thing you want to do when you get out of that chair is to go run or
do something.
And I think that us that work behind a desk all day, it may even be harder because of
(42:06):
that, but you got to stay active.
I think we're all going to feel the effects of not being active, you know, later on in
life if we continue going on like what we are.
And the third thing, you know what's really interesting?
A lot of people are stay quiet about whatever's happening to them.
I think be open to whoever you want to be open to, but be open with it.
I mean, I shared it with you.
(42:27):
I've shared it with all of my family, all my friends and stuff.
And the only reason is, you know, I want to help push them, go get the screenings, go
get your yearly done just because I think it's important.
So that's my takeaway from being a W-2 employee and from knowing that longevity is not big
in my family.
What about you?
(42:48):
So ours are not so different, just a little bit different order.
So my first takeaway is take care of yourself and you are right.
So I flip houses and when I'm in the middle of a flip, I love life.
I'm tired, but I love life because all day we've worked, it's hard work, it's energetic.
I mean, we are on a downtime when we're not in the middle of flipping a house and we're
(43:12):
in the office.
I'm exhausted by two o'clock.
I'm like, can I take a nap?
So I agree with you.
Get yourself up, take a walk or whatever it is that you enjoy and go do something.
Just get some energy, take care of yourself.
And included not only is that eating, exercise, but do the pre-screenings.
(43:34):
Do anything you can.
That's my first takeaway.
The second takeaway is really stand up for yourself.
I think intuition, especially for women, I think for anybody though, is huge.
Sometimes we just don't feel like something's right.
Stand up for yourself.
I used to work with a girl who was very Southern and she used to say, you know, you can say
(43:57):
anything to anybody as long as you say it nice enough.
So of course, honey attracts more than vinegar, but stand up for yourself and do it kindly.
Do it humbly.
You may have to try more than once.
You may have to try it with a different doctor, but keep advocating for yourself.
(44:18):
So that's the second part.
And the third part, as far as financially, there are lots of options out there.
I mean, yes, you have to do research.
It's not easy or it's not simple, but it is easy.
You know, there's a lot going on in this research, but you can do it.
(44:38):
So those are my takeaways with this.
I definitely like the one about an advocate.
I think you're number two point because you're right.
Don't be afraid to push back.
You know, it really is your life.
You're the only one that really knows how you feel from day to day.
So if you feel that you need it, push and push hard if you have to go to a different
doctor, do whatever you need to do because I just believe it's that important.
(45:01):
I absolutely do.
I do too.
So, well, I hope everybody got something from this.
Stay well, take care of yourself.
Do you have any last words?
No, I'm going to be waiting for an update on your surgery and how you feel.
So we should hear that in the next week or so.
Yep.
So tomorrow morning, bright and early.
(45:21):
All right.
Well, good luck with that.
And once again, Connie, thank you so much.
I know this couldn't have been an easy experience with your leg the way it is doing this week,
but thank you.
Well, thank you for sharing your story too.
And I hope everybody takes care of themselves.
Talk to you soon.
Bye.
Bye.
Okay.
Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Our Life Beyond.
We really hope that you found our discussion insightful and inspiring or at least brought
(45:46):
a smile to your day.
If you did enjoy this episode, please consider subscribing to the podcast on your favorite
platform and leave us a review.
For more information, resources, or show notes, visit our website at our life beyond dot com.
You can also follow us on social media.
Search for us on Facebook at our life beyond.
We would love to hear from you, our listeners, so feel free to reach out with your questions,
(46:10):
comments or suggestions through our contact us page at our life beyond dot com or on social
media.
And once again, thank you for joining us on this journey.
Until next time, remember, life beyond any challenge is possible and we're here to navigate
it with you.
Stay strong, stay positive and keep moving forward.
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