Christine's Story of Leaving The Church and its Psychological Impacts: A Voice From Central Kansas

In this episode of "Our People: Holdeman Mennonite Stories," Weylin sits down with Chris, a former member of a Central Kansas congregation of the Church of God in Christ Mennonite. Chris offers a candid look into her life, from growing up in a rural farming family to navigating her way out of the Holdeman church and redefining her beliefs.

Chris recounts her childhood as the youngest of four daughters in a family that thrived on hard work and connection to the land. Her days were filled with farm chores, driving trucks during wheat harvest, and helping her father care for the animals. While she describes her upbringing as largely positive, she also touches on the underlying challenges, such as her family's financial struggles when a bad water well led to the loss of cattle—a hardship that cast a shadow on her early years and taught her resilience.

From an early age, Chris sensed that she was different. She was introspective and often found herself questioning the practices and teachings of the Holdeman church. This questioning nature set her apart and made her feel disconnected within the large congregation she was a part of. Chris shares her experience of being an introvert in a community that often felt overwhelming and how she found solace in her relationships with non-Holdeman relatives, which broadened her perspective and introduced her to ideas beyond the church’s doctrines.

Throughout the conversation, Chris delves into her psychological journey, detailing how she turned to various authors and teachers to explore new ways of thinking. She reflects on how her personality and experiences shaped her worldview, and how, over time, she began to see religion as often mirroring the personality of its founders—a realization that prompted her to question the foundations of her faith even more deeply.

Chris also speaks about the emotional and mental challenges of leaving the church, including the process of unlearning deeply ingrained beliefs and coping with the sense of loss that accompanies such a profound change. She emphasizes the importance of finding one's own path to healing and hope, sharing personal stories of growth and the small but significant steps she has taken toward reclaiming her sense of self outside the church.

In this heartfelt episode, Chris opens up about her ongoing journey—a journey that is not yet complete but is filled with determination and a desire for authenticity. Her story is a powerful reminder of the complexities involved in stepping away from a high-control religious environment and the courage it takes to pursue a life aligned with one’s true values. Join Weylin and Chris as they explore the nuanced paths of questioning, leaving, and ultimately, finding peace beyond the confines of a close-knit religious community.

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