Jaclyn's Story of Searching and Discovery: A Voice From Kidron

In this episode of Our People: Holdeman Mennonite Stories, hosts Weylin and Amanda sit down with Jaclyn (Jackie) Peachey to discuss her life journey, growing up within the Holdeman community and eventually finding her way out. Jackie opens up about her early life in Moundridge, Kansas, where her father left the family when she was just nine months old. She reflects on the strength of her mother, who went to nursing school and raised Jackie and her siblings on her own, becoming one of Jackie’s greatest role models.

Jackie talks about her family’s move to Kidron, Ohio, when she was six years old, describing the community as somewhat closed off, rooted in an Amish-Mennonite background. However, her family ties in the area helped ease the transition, and Jackie shares her fondness for the close-knit environment, even though it could be isolating.

The conversation turns more introspective as Jackie recounts her spiritual journey, including her struggles to fit in within the Holdeman church. She recalls feeling like an outsider, never quite connecting with the Holdeman way of life or understanding concepts like the Holy Spirit. This led to internal conflict, particularly after her baptism, when she initially felt a sense of joy but quickly slipped back into old behaviors, leaving her feeling guilty and disconnected.

One pivotal moment in Jackie’s story came when, at the age of 15, she and a close friend began to question whether the Holdeman church was truly the "one true church" as they had been taught. Their exposure to conservative Mennonites and Amish communities sparked deeper questions about faith, belonging, and the truth of their religious upbringing. Jackie shares the challenges of navigating these doubts in a community where questioning was discouraged, and how it impacted her sense of identity.

Throughout the episode, Jackie reflects on the difficulty of feeling like she had to present a false version of herself to fit in, and the relief and eventual growth that came with leaving the Holdeman church. Her story is one of resilience, self-discovery, and the courage to question long-held beliefs in the search for personal truth.

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