October 25, 2024 • 30 mins
Unlock the secrets to managing focus and anxiety in the classroom by navigating the complex terrain of school policies on music and phones. Discover how music can become an essential tool for students to drown out disruptions and sharpen their concentration, even in the most chaotic school environments. We'll also tackle the challenges of monitoring these tools in large school settings and propose a trust-based approach that empowers students while maintaining discipline.
Names are more than mere labels; they are a profound aspect of identity and respect. Join our exploration into the importance of name pronunciation and the boundaries it sets, as we shed light on the emotional turmoil faced by students with unique or intricate names. Together, we'll advocate for an atmosphere of patience and understanding to prevent microaggressions and nurture a more inclusive educational environment.
Examine the controversial landscape of school dress codes and their implications for gender equality. We'll question traditional restrictions on attire, pondering whether they stifle individuality or uphold necessary decorum. Finally, celebrate personal empowerment with us through a moving recitation of Marianne Williamson's "Our Deepest Fear," as we encourage listeners to embrace their potential and ignite a wave of inspiration among peers.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
no-transcript.
(03:58):
So for me, I need my music tolike block everybody out.
I need my music so I canactually be like no, I'm not
going to talk to you right now,Because if not, I'm going to
talk to you.
I'm a talker.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Exactly, yeah, and like the new cell phone policy,
like she said, is definitelylike phones are definitely a
distraction.
I think last year when I wasfeeling like when I was doing
poorly, it was definitelybecause I was like I% am into
that, but that doesn't meannecessarily that I failed, you
know, I still it.
(04:29):
Just I feel like it's case bycase.
Also, I think like they're okay, I understand, not using your
cell phone during class, but nomusic when we're doing work time
.
I think that's a bit muchbecause some kids they can't
focus.
A lot of my classes are loudand it's like, okay, that's
going to hold me back a littlebit, but they can't focus.
A lot of my classes are loudand it's like, okay, that's
going to hold me back a littlebit.
And then there's all thesewe're going to take it, all
these little things about it andit's like I do think that
(04:51):
they're definitely distractions,but I think they're doing a
little bit too much with nomusic.
No, because some people needthose kind of things to
concentrate.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
So how do you monitor that?
What do you mean?
How do you expect teachers andadministrators to monitor when
you're in a school that large tosay, well, 500 of them need to
hear music and the other 500don't?
Speaker 2 (05:13):
Well, I mean, you could always just say you know
this is work time If you guyswould like to use it, Because
one teacher said you can listento music just through your
laptop.
I don't know any kid who doesthat, so it was kind of not an
option.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
Sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off but, like I said,
I need my music in the hallways, especially.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
For the anxiety.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
I freak out and you can't listen to music on your
laptop in the hallway.
I wouldn't mind listening to iton my laptop in class.
That's fine with me, especiallysince it's saving my batteries.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
like I don't mind that, but your laptop is closed
and with these new laptops, you,when they're closed, you can't
listen to music, you can't keepit open.
So it's like not an option andit's like, um, I just think you
know I'm all for no cell phonesin class.
That's fine, because that kindof does help me, because you
know I'm not distracted, I'mdoing, I'm actually doing my
work.
But I definitely do think melistening to music helps me
concentrate more and kind ofdoes help me, because you know
I'm not distracted, I'm actuallydoing my work.
But I definitely do think melistening to music helps me
concentrate more and kind ofblock out everything else and
focus.
And if I'm not allowed to dothat, I feel like it's kind of
(06:11):
just like and you said how doyou monitor that?
Like I was going to say liketeachers hey, this is work time.
If I see you abusing the powerto listen to music, then you
know that's when the rules setback in.
I'm taking your phone.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Exactly, just each individual kid.
Exactly If you're on your phone.
You don't need to be on yourphone to change your music.
Put it on a playlist Exactly,you're on it, I'm taking it
Exactly.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
If you're changing the music, maybe that's okay,
but if you're on it like justcan I just listen to some music
please?
Speaker 3 (06:45):
So you know, though, some of the people y'all hang
with won't follow those rules,so how do?
You expect the adults tomonitor it.
That's true, take each phone.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
Take each phone.
You don't have to punisheveryone, and when we get to a
separate topic, I'll touch backon punishing everyone for
certain people's mistakes orchoices.
If someone is abusing theirpower in your classroom you're a
teacher someone is abusingtheir power, give them a warning
.
If they don't listen again,take that phone, take it up to
the office.
(07:17):
If that keeps happening, thenyou set rules in place for those
certain people.
Not everyone has to be punishedbecause some people are doing
the right thing.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
So what percentage would you say of people that are
doing the right thing?
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Not a lot 4%.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
So are you guys in that 4% oh?
Speaker 1 (07:35):
yeah, you just said you weren't.
I said last year, oh, last year.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
This is our time to redeem ourselves.
Speaker 3 (07:44):
This is a redemption podcast with Avril and Aliyah.
Now we're redeeming ourselves.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
But I think also we're more mature than we were
six months ago.
Okay, yes, we're more maturethan we were last year and it's
like now that I see myself I'm asophomore.
Now I can look back and saythose things were distracting me
, I'm glad that I don't havethose things, or I'm glad that I
noticed those things that weredistracting me and I can set
things in place.
You know, you're alwaysmaturing.
So six months ago I didn't havethat mindset hey, these things
(08:12):
are distracting me, these thingsare not helping me excel.
But now I can see that, so it'sredemption time basically.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
It's redemption time 100%.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
I'm 100% because Learning from ourselves and
helping ourselves, yeah,self-reflection 100% you know,
be able to criticize yourselfand be able to take constructive
criticism from others too,because, as your teacher's
telling you I got a coupleteachers I know like they're
real, they're going to tell youstraight up like Aaliyah you
don't work when your phone'saround.
All right, then take my phonefor this class period, I can
respect you if you respect me.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
I don't work when your phone's around, all right,
then take my phone for thisclass period.
I can respect you if yourespect me.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
I can work with what I'm giving.
You know, if you're willing towork, you're willing to help me
exactly, and that's what, as theteachers, they should do.
You know, if they see a studentis struggling, they don't have
to call them out and nitpick atthem.
You know, maybe they could pullthem to the side outside of
class and just be like hey, um,I can see like you're not
getting your work done, like wecan make it an alternative, but,
like I said, teachers just wantto punish everyone and I don't
think that's fair, you know.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
So what role do you all think you should be in Like?
What roles do you think youshould play in the
decision-making process?
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Us as students.
As students, at least 50% of it.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
So what does that mean?
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Like they shouldn't just think like oh, I mean, like
I said, it's not fair.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
I understand, okay, I can see both parts of
everything.
Yeah, I can see allperspectives, Like I understand
why they're doing this, and Iunderstand why the adults make
the decisions in our life.
It's their school, it's theirboard, whatever.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Their job.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
But you're literally living my life for me.
You're picking the decisionsthat I have, like You're
literally living my life for me.
You're picking the decisionsthat I have, you're picking the
options.
You're limiting everything thatI can do.
School is supposed to be a safeplace and, if I could add,
actually going to the first weekof school, they had made a new
law saying if you go bysomething else in school, like
(10:02):
if my name is Aaliyah, if I wentby, all by alley, they by law
have to contact my parents.
And school is supposed to be asafe place and now it's becoming
this place where nobody wantsto go, everybody's skipping
school, everybody's skippingclass, scared of people in it,
scared of the teachers, evenlike.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
I'm glad that you touched on that, because I kind
of forgot that, because itdoesn't necessarily apply to me
I don't go by a nickname, butit's I'd be like I hurt for you,
like this is the only place you, this is the one place that you
should feel safe at and yourteachers call you what you want,
they make you feel at home.
And now you can't even have thatbecause they got to call your
parents exactly, and that lawhas been pending since may,
right, and it just got passed.
So teachers were letting,notifying everyone, letting them
(10:37):
know, and they're saying likewe could lose our jobs if we
don't notify parents.
And to me that's, that's likeyou said, that's just not fair.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
That's not okay at all.
So do the teachers have tonotify parents or the
administration?
The teachers Each teacher.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
Like if your name is Benjamin and they ask you in
class, hey, what do you go by?
And you say Ben, okay, I haveto tell your mom, just letting
you know.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
So if you want to tell, so even if you have a
preferred name, like if you gotyour name changed from what it
was at birth, they have to tellyour parents.
Even if your parents know theyhave to tell your parents they
have to tell, and I don't thinkthat's okay, because some
students cannot talk to theirparents about certain things.
Like you said, school is theonly place where they can feel
safe, express themselves, bewith their kind of people.
Exactly, and that's literallydisintegrating.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
So let me tell you so I've had to deal with this
before and it was difficult forme as an administrator because I
had a young lady who had analternative name and so she
corrected me the first time, andso about two weeks later I said
(11:43):
to her I said let's just usethe word Sarah.
I said, hey, sarah.
She says that's not my name,that's my dead name.
My new name is this I sayShelby.
Okay, so I start calling herShelby.
Then a week later she saidthat's my dead name again and
(12:06):
wanted me to call her somethingelse.
So what I said was and thenwhen I made a mistake, she said
that's not my name, you need tocall me this.
And I said well, hold on, as anadministrator, how am I to
remember or to know whenever youdecide to change your name?
And again, I know this is notspecifically what you're talking
(12:27):
about, but I'm trying to giveyou guys a perspective of an
adult's perspective.
Real quick, but this is notsomething that we've ever had to
deal with, right, so it waschallenging for me, so let me go
on to tell the story.
So then, when the mom came inthe building for something, she
(12:49):
said Something unrelated.
Yeah, just came in to talk to us, but she was going to be
involved in the conversation.
She said don't call me that.
Call me, let's say Sam was anoriginal name.
And I said look, you're puttingme in a difficult situation
(13:10):
like I'm not going to be goingback and forth remembering when
to call you this and how to callyou that, like so the last
thing you asked me to call you.
I'm gonna be respectful to that.
But I don't think that they werehappy with that, so tell me
about the child wasn't happywith the fact that I called them
the last name that she told meto call her.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
So how, from your perspective, if you're switching
constantly not letting everyoneknow you can't possibly expect
any person without respect orwith respect on the subject, to
remember it.
I mean you need to pick a nameand stick with it and that's for
anybody if I like.
If I'm ben and I go by benjamin, don't change it to benny the
next week.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Like you, you pick a name and that's what you're
gonna stick with and if you aregonna like, hey, maybe I'm kind
of questioning, like what I wantto go by, you need to let
everyone know, because thenit'll it'll.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
If you want respect on that.
You're gonna have to speak upto get it, you set your
boundaries Exactly.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
You can't just expect for everybody to know, but for
the kids who do speak up aboutit.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
And with this law, like it's, like you know, you're
telling the parents because onethey either already know or the
parents that made this law athing and spoke up about how
they felt about it they want youto tell them to get your to.
I don't know, I don't want touse the word punish or get them
and or get the kid in trouble,but because they don't want
(14:26):
their kid to go by that.
So you know that, as an adult,that they're, that that's what's
going on exactly but back towhat you said, like if it's a
kid who just keeps switchingtheir name there's no way that
you can possibly exactly, andthey're just being snobby, but
for some kids.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
There's this one kid in my class.
Let's just say his name isTommy and let's say his dead
name was Timothy, and someteachers will call him Timothy
and he'll like correct them myname is Timmy, whatever.
Tom, yeah, tommy, whatever.
But he frequently has to dothat and I understand it's hard
(15:02):
for some people to be like, okay, wait, I can't call him that.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
If you can't remember that's one thing, exactly.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
But if you're just have to adjust.
You know you have you have toadjust because at that point
then it is disrespectful.
Also, pronunciation,pronouncing people's names wrong
.
I don't think that's righteither.
I tend to get that a lot and Itry to correct them respectfully
, especially if I'm new tomeeting.
But if you know me and you'restill saying my name wrong and
I'm still setting that boundary,that you're not saying my name
(15:27):
right, I think it's kind of amicroaggression but that's kind
of diving a little deep.
But I think pronunciation andcalling people the right things
are important.
But you know you and thatperson have to talk about it and
they have to talk to peopleabout it.
Set that boundary, set their.
You know what they'recomfortable with and repeatedly.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
if you feel that strongly about it, don't expect
the teacher to get it right away.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
Exactly that's not that there's no need for
disrespect.
Exactly If you want your nameto be said right.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
Or even me, like I don't go by anything else, I go
by my name, and my teacher stillalmost the whole week of school
, was calling me different, adifferent name every day a liar,
like some something every timeand it was just like I'm not
just gonna let her not call memy name, so like y'all correct
her about it.
And it's like you can't doanything about a teacher
mispronouncing or a teacherforgetting.
(16:16):
You can do something about ateacher who you can be
repetitive.
No, that's not what I'm gonnasay, but you can do something
about a teacher who is just notrespecting you enough to call
you what you want, exactlybecause that's not okay.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
Let me tell you, I understand, I mean we know as
kids too, though, because yeah,we understand we gotta adjust to
their names exactly because,like, especially like when
you're new, like you're a newstudent and like you have a,
let's say, an intricate name ora unique name, I could
understand completely that it'shard to remember, but you have
to be patient and you have tocommunicate.
Set the boundaries Like youhave.
(16:47):
You just have to communicate.
That's really all it takes.
You just can't let someone stepover you, like I'm not going to
let someone call me a real thewhole year.
I used to be like that, but myfriends were like you have to
speak up for yourself.
You.
My friends were like you haveto speak up for yourself.
You have to tell them my name'sAvril, not A-real, like you
have to let people know.
I remember I did that when Iwas younger.
Yeah, and now you don't do itno more because I she was like
my name is.
Speaker 3 (17:07):
What did you say?
My name is Avril and I was likeokay.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
Then the next day I was like Avril she was like I
had to put, like you know how,on Google if you search for
Pronunciation, I had to put thepronunciations, Even my last
name.
My last name is very simple.
I had to put pronunciations onit to let teachers know what
could you pronounce?
Your last name Newsom Newman.
People would call me names thatweren't even my last name.
But you just have to let peopleknow.
(17:36):
It's hard to not get, becauseme personally, I have felt a lot
of frustration about my name,even been like ashamed of it,
because I was like people can'tsay my name Like this is so
stupid.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
But you just have to make sure, number one, you're
around the right people, rightadults and just communicate how
you're feeling and communicatewhat's right, I feel, so that
the frustration comes more fromit happening your whole life and
like your, name beingmispronounced your whole life.
And your name beingmispronounced your whole life
and not from like just beingdisrespected, that a teacher
forgot Exactly.
Speaker 3 (18:03):
All right.
So the other thing I know youguys wanted to talk about.
I know we talked a little bitabout the cell phone, but you
guys had mentioned the Jessica.
Oh yeah, so let's talk, let'stalk about it, let's talk Okay.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
So, as you guys might know, crop tops are definitely
in.
And one thing I do want to sayI understand there is some
things that you cannot wear toschool.
It's inappropriate to wear toschool the workplace.
You know, a lot of places havea dress code and that's
perfectly fine.
Now there was a lot of, andthis dress code is targeted
(18:36):
towards the girls in the school.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
It's not targeted toward the boys at all, unless
they wear crop tops, whichthat's fine, who cares?
Speaker 2 (18:48):
But it's, let's say, not girls, it's targeted at
feminine people.
Yeah, exactly, thank you.
Yeah, it's targeted at femininepeople.
And so, people, they made a newdress code no midriff, so no
crop tops, nothing that showsyour midriff, and no spaghetti
straps.
Spaghetti straps has kind ofbeen a rule.
Now, me personally, I do not seehow shoulders or your stomach
could be a distraction.
But there was definitely somepeople who were abusing the
(19:10):
dress code, wearing bras toschool.
Now, I personally think thatthat is not appropriate.
I wouldn't say disruptive, butnot appropriate for the school
place.
But, like I said about the cellphone, policy is like you don't
have to punish everyone becausethere is some people who aren't
abusing the dress code.
Like some people do wear croptops but they're not wearing
bras to school and they're not,you know, abusing it.
(19:32):
They're not, you know, takingit too far, pushing it over to
the edge.
You don't have to punisheveryone, you just have to
punish select people, or maybenot even punish them, just sit
them down and say, hey, this iswhat you can and can't wear to
school and that's the end of it.
You don't have to because, Imean, some people might not have
those clothes or money to getthose clothes.
They might have gotten theirclothes from a thrift store and
they only have props or theirolder sister.
Exactly Like some people don'thave the resources and some
(19:54):
people might not want to dressthe way that the dress code
wants them to dress.
And, like Aaliyah said, schoolis where you should be able to
be yourself and express yourself.
And, yes, that's to a certainextent because you don't want to
get inappropriate, but, like I,should be able to wear a crop
top if it's appropriate and Iwant to.
It shouldn't be a distractionto the school place.
What I'm wearing shouldn't be adistraction to how I get an
(20:14):
education.
Speaker 3 (20:15):
So let me take a couple things you said I want to
kind of push back on.
You said school should be aplace for you to be yourself.
And what was the other part?
Speaker 2 (20:26):
of that, express yourself.
Speaker 3 (20:28):
So is that what school's for?
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Well, that's not what school's for.
But you shouldn't be notallowed to express Like if I
want to dye my hair pink, Ishould be able to do that, and
no one.
You can't dye your hair pink,you can't do that here.
Anywhere you go, you should beable to be yourself, express
yourself without limitations,especially if it's not
inappropriate or hurting anyone.
You know, I don't think a girlwearing a crop top to school is
(20:51):
hurting anyone or distractinganyone, and if it's too
inappropriate, then she couldget sat down and talked to
separately I don't thinkeveryone else gets punished.
Speaker 3 (20:58):
So can I just say you know, I'm a father right.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
I understand that too .
Speaker 3 (21:02):
And I have a 16-year-old who's the same age
as you all.
So when you say Well, that'syour daughter.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
You know you're the parent, but I'm talking about
schools.
Speaker 3 (21:11):
Well, you guys aren't going to agree with me anyway,
right, but for the sake of it,I've had like.
There are days when she leavesthe house and I'm like here, go
put some doggone clothes on.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
Right, I get that.
You're her dad, though thesepeople at school, if you're not.
For me, like I said, I can seetwo sides of a lot of things.
I can see both sides and I cansee how both sides could be
right Exactly, but me being me,the side that I pick is right.
Like if you're a teacher oryou're another student or you're
anything in that building, beprofessional enough to not let
(21:43):
whatever I'm wearing get to you.
I don't care.
I'm not saying like this isokay, like I don't care about
walking in some panties, likeyou don't, that's a problem.
I know, definitely.
It's an example.
Don't you like?
Literally don't look.
You don't look at a kid likethat, or you shouldn't be
working in the school building.
It shouldn't be the kids.
Speaker 3 (22:02):
It shouldn't be coming in to look like that, but
like those kind of things.
That's not fair because it'sinappropriate, right?
So that doesn't mean somebody'slooking at you.
That means that they're tryingto so like I'm a father right.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
If they're uncomfortable, that's okay.
It's not about beinguncomfortable.
Speaker 3 (22:16):
making sure that you are safe, making sure that
you're going to, but we shouldbe safe in the school building
anyway.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
That's the whole point.
We should be safe where we are.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
We should be safe enough to express ourselves and
be able to look how we want tolook and knowing that we're
going to be safe there and thatwe can do it.
But also, I understand whatyou're saying about the father
thing.
But if I walk out the door andmy dad doesn't say anything, you
and my dad doesn't say anything.
You know, come back and changethen neither should the school
board.
If my parents, the person whowatches me, make sure that I'm
(22:44):
safe 24-7, 365, then it shouldbe okay, and if it's not, you
just got to talk to me.
You don't have to punisheverybody.
Also, your stomach and yourshoulders, should I feel like
it's such a big issue and itshould not be.
I could understand your privateareas, but your shoulders and
your stomach.
I understand maybe if you hadan extraordinarily short shirt,
(23:08):
but like, why is it such aproblem for my shoulders to be
exposed?
Speaker 3 (23:12):
But you guys said that a lot of people were
misusing or abusing.
So how?
As a school, individually,individually, individually,
individually.
But you know, you got apopulation but you're sent home.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
Yeah, you don't care about school, you don't care
about your education that sucks.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
Population about 1500 kids that's what you got to do,
hey miss if you want a dresscode.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
That's what you got to go through because you're not
that's not fair to just like mepersonally, I last year I used
I wear baggy clothes all year,like I've always been like a
baggy clothes wearing person.
But this year like I've beenreally big on self-love and I've
been trying to love myself moreand just become more confident
and like open up more with my,with my variety of clothes.
(23:54):
And it's hard to do that whenthe year I try to do that y'all
want to change the dress codeand it's like no crop tops, no
this, no that, but boysliterally take their shirt off
in gym, exactly, and it's justBoys get to get away with
whatever they want, anything.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
So do you guys bring that up they?
Speaker 1 (24:09):
punish.
I mean, I brought it up to youwhen I went to dentist, didn't I
?
Yeah, but but you're the onlyperson that listened.
She's never even in our office.
Speaker 3 (24:17):
Yeah, they don't care , let's make sure we don't
specify names right, yeah, andso just say you know whatever.
But anyway, the point of it isthat sometimes people in our
office they're always walkingaround school doing stuff, right
?
Speaker 2 (24:29):
Yeah, and that's fine , but they should be walking
around and if they have rulesimplemented, then they should.
And like, let's say, they seesomeone who's not following the
dress code, they can pull thatperson to the side.
You know, all you have to do iscall the teacher, call the
office hey, send Miss Sally downand talk to them or send them
home.
You don't have to punish theentire school with, like you
said, so many kids there.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
So you guys see boys wearing slagging pants.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
That's a problem I have heard some teachers, you
know, pull up your pants andstuff, but they don't care.
Speaker 3 (25:05):
But like some teachers, like you know, pull up
your pants and stuff, but theydon't care.
But, like alia said, taking offtheir shirts and wearing
undershirts and stuff like that,I just feel like it's very
one-sided, some of that stuff,stuff from like, for instance,
my son.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
I have a 18 year old and I don't allow him to walk
around my house with a shirt offbut yeah, but that's you as a
parent, I know I'm saying so isthat?
Speaker 3 (25:17):
so I'm just want to push?
Is that some stuff that youfeel like people should be
getting at home, or is that just?
Speaker 2 (25:22):
Well, that's something that I can't really
touch on, because I can't tellparents how to parent their
children, but at school you knowlike.
I just think it should be fair.
It should never be one-sidedDouble standard.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
Yeah, double standard .
Speaker 2 (25:35):
If girls can't wear tank tops, neither can boys.
If girls can't stick off theirshirt, neither can boys.
Speaker 3 (25:39):
Have you guys had a conversation with the folks?
Are you planning on doing this?
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Well, the school year just started.
But I mean, I just kind of feellike some of the administrators
there.
They're like rules are rules orthey'll just say we didn't make
these rules.
The school board did Talk tothe person who did, because I
can't, but you can never.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
No I can't.
Speaker 3 (25:57):
Yes, you can.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
So I'm going to call you and have you come bring me.
Speaker 3 (26:00):
So no, what happens is, you know, there's a school
board and then there's publicopportunities for public
comments at the school boardmeeting.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
Yeah, but you can comment.
But if the school board madethe decision, they already know
what the odds are, what thechoices are.
Are we going to let them showtheir measure?
They already know they're theone who made the rule.
Speaker 3 (26:24):
I have just to be fair with the school board.
I have seen some school boardmeetings within the last year
where people have come in andexpressed a concern and they've
revisited or re-looked at it.
But the only way and some of itis they may not know.
So let's give folks the benefitof the doubt.
But you guys have to, if youfeel so strongly about something
(26:45):
, have the conversation.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
I also feel like, if it's just, let's say, me and
Aaliyah were to go to the schoolboard and we wanted to talk to
the school board, I also thinkI'm not saying that our voices
aren't strong enough, but Ithink every single girl from the
school would have to complainabout it to make it happen,
because I think they would thinkthat it was biased.
If that makes sense, they thinkwe're just doing it for
ourselves and really it's.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
Do you get what I'm trying to say, yeah, I
understand that they just wouldthink it's our opinion when it's
kind of wide.
Speaker 3 (27:11):
I think that kids have voices, right.
So I had the opportunity ofgoing to an institution at
Earlham where it taught us howto advocate for ourselves and
all of that, and so we were ableto invoke a lot of change and I
think that I see within you all, like the one example is your
poetry, you know like that givesyou the opportunity to voice
your opinion.
So I would just say, start offfirst of all.
(27:31):
You start off with theadministrators, right.
You go to them, get you anumber of young ladies and you
ask to have a conversation.
Now, I'm not very familiar withthe dress code policy this year
.
I'm familiar with the dresscode policy coming out of my
house and there are.
You know, if there's five daysa week, there's two days, I'm
saying, ah, go put a jacket onor go do something, and it's
(27:54):
because that's just I'm oldschool, right.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
Yeah, that's perfect for time.
Speaker 3 (27:58):
And let me be honest with you, I'm so old school that
sometimes it infringes upon mycommunication and my
relationship, because sometimesyou know, my child is like Dad,
like everybody, wears dresses.
I don't care what everybody'sdoing Everybody ain't my child?
Speaker 1 (28:12):
Exactly Right, right.
Speaker 3 (28:14):
So you know, and I can guarantee you that if she
told you all specifically whatI'm making her change clothes in
, you'd be like Mr Hanlon youtripping.
Why are you leaving her alone?
Let?
Speaker 2 (28:24):
her wear what she wanted.
I completely understand.
My dad has said to me a coupleof times no, I don't feel
comfortable wearing that out,Not because of me and my choices
, just because of other people.
And like you said, it consistsof us being safe.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
But at school, we're supposed to be safe.
That's an interestingperspective.
Any other questions or comments?
I love this discussion.
This was a good 28.
Speaker 3 (28:49):
This is probably the longest one.
This is probably the longestsingle discussion that I've had,
so so let's, let me hear thispoem, so you guys decide.
Let's get us here to live, butI want you articulate and I want
you to rock for the people outthere.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
Okay, we are going to be reciting Our Deepest Fear by
Miriam Williamson.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we arepowerful beyond measure.
Speaker 2 (29:17):
It is our light, not our darkness, that most
frightens us.
We ask ourselves who am I to be?
Brilliant, gorgeous, talented,fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You're a child of God.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
Your playing small does not serve this world.
There's nothing enlightenedabout shrinking, so others
around you won't feel insecure.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
We are all meant to shine as children do.
We were born to make manifestthe glory of God that is within
us.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
It's not just in some of us, it's in all of us.
And as we let our own lightshine, we unconsciously give
others permission to do the sameas we are liberated from our
own fears our presenceautomatically liberates others
Out of the Mouth of Babespodcast for our youth.
Speaker 3 (30:04):
Y'all rocked it, Thank you.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
That was very short.
no-transcript.
(03:58):
So for me, I need my music tolike block everybody out.
I need my music so I canactually be like no, I'm not
going to talk to you right now,Because if not, I'm going to
talk to you.
I'm a talker.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Exactly, yeah, and like the new cell phone policy,
like she said, is definitelylike phones are definitely a
distraction.
I think last year when I wasfeeling like when I was doing
poorly, it was definitelybecause I was like I% am into
that, but that doesn't meannecessarily that I failed, you
know, I still it.
(04:29):
Just I feel like it's case bycase.
Also, I think like they're okay, I understand, not using your
cell phone during class, but nomusic when we're doing work time
.
I think that's a bit muchbecause some kids they can't
focus.
A lot of my classes are loudand it's like, okay, that's
going to hold me back a littlebit, but they can't focus.
A lot of my classes are loudand it's like, okay, that's
going to hold me back a littlebit.
And then there's all thesewe're going to take it, all
these little things about it andit's like I do think that
(04:51):
they're definitely distractions,but I think they're doing a
little bit too much with nomusic.
No, because some people needthose kind of things to
concentrate.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
So how do you monitor that?
What do you mean?
How do you expect teachers andadministrators to monitor when
you're in a school that large tosay, well, 500 of them need to
hear music and the other 500don't?
Speaker 2 (05:13):
Well, I mean, you could always just say you know
this is work time If you guyswould like to use it, Because
one teacher said you can listento music just through your
laptop.
I don't know any kid who doesthat, so it was kind of not an
option.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
Sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off but, like I said,
I need my music in the hallways, especially.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
For the anxiety.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
I freak out and you can't listen to music on your
laptop in the hallway.
I wouldn't mind listening to iton my laptop in class.
That's fine with me, especiallysince it's saving my batteries.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
like I don't mind that, but your laptop is closed
and with these new laptops, you,when they're closed, you can't
listen to music, you can't keepit open.
So it's like not an option andit's like, um, I just think you
know I'm all for no cell phonesin class.
That's fine, because that kindof does help me, because you
know I'm not distracted, I'mdoing, I'm actually doing my
work.
But I definitely do think melistening to music helps me
concentrate more and kind ofdoes help me, because you know
I'm not distracted, I'm actuallydoing my work.
But I definitely do think melistening to music helps me
concentrate more and kind ofblock out everything else and
focus.
And if I'm not allowed to dothat, I feel like it's kind of
(06:11):
just like and you said how doyou monitor that?
Like I was going to say liketeachers hey, this is work time.
If I see you abusing the powerto listen to music, then you
know that's when the rules setback in.
I'm taking your phone.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Exactly, just each individual kid.
Exactly If you're on your phone.
You don't need to be on yourphone to change your music.
Put it on a playlist Exactly,you're on it, I'm taking it
Exactly.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
If you're changing the music, maybe that's okay,
but if you're on it like justcan I just listen to some music
please?
Speaker 3 (06:45):
So you know, though, some of the people y'all hang
with won't follow those rules,so how do?
You expect the adults tomonitor it.
That's true, take each phone.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
Take each phone.
You don't have to punisheveryone, and when we get to a
separate topic, I'll touch backon punishing everyone for
certain people's mistakes orchoices.
If someone is abusing theirpower in your classroom you're a
teacher someone is abusingtheir power, give them a warning
.
If they don't listen again,take that phone, take it up to
the office.
(07:17):
If that keeps happening, thenyou set rules in place for those
certain people.
Not everyone has to be punishedbecause some people are doing
the right thing.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
So what percentage would you say of people that are
doing the right thing?
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Not a lot 4%.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
So are you guys in that 4% oh?
Speaker 1 (07:35):
yeah, you just said you weren't.
I said last year, oh, last year.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
This is our time to redeem ourselves.
Speaker 3 (07:44):
This is a redemption podcast with Avril and Aliyah.
Now we're redeeming ourselves.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
But I think also we're more mature than we were
six months ago.
Okay, yes, we're more maturethan we were last year and it's
like now that I see myself I'm asophomore.
Now I can look back and saythose things were distracting me
, I'm glad that I don't havethose things, or I'm glad that I
noticed those things that weredistracting me and I can set
things in place.
You know, you're alwaysmaturing.
So six months ago I didn't havethat mindset hey, these things
(08:12):
are distracting me, these thingsare not helping me excel.
But now I can see that, so it'sredemption time basically.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
It's redemption time 100%.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
I'm 100% because Learning from ourselves and
helping ourselves, yeah,self-reflection 100% you know,
be able to criticize yourselfand be able to take constructive
criticism from others too,because, as your teacher's
telling you I got a coupleteachers I know like they're
real, they're going to tell youstraight up like Aaliyah you
don't work when your phone'saround.
All right, then take my phonefor this class period, I can
respect you if you respect me.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
I don't work when your phone's around, all right,
then take my phone for thisclass period.
I can respect you if yourespect me.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
I can work with what I'm giving.
You know, if you're willing towork, you're willing to help me
exactly, and that's what, as theteachers, they should do.
You know, if they see a studentis struggling, they don't have
to call them out and nitpick atthem.
You know, maybe they could pullthem to the side outside of
class and just be like hey, um,I can see like you're not
getting your work done, like wecan make it an alternative, but,
like I said, teachers just wantto punish everyone and I don't
think that's fair, you know.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
So what role do you all think you should be in Like?
What roles do you think youshould play in the
decision-making process?
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Us as students.
As students, at least 50% of it.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
So what does that mean?
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Like they shouldn't just think like oh, I mean, like
I said, it's not fair.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
I understand, okay, I can see both parts of
everything.
Yeah, I can see allperspectives, Like I understand
why they're doing this, and Iunderstand why the adults make
the decisions in our life.
It's their school, it's theirboard, whatever.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Their job.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
But you're literally living my life for me.
You're picking the decisionsthat I have, like You're
literally living my life for me.
You're picking the decisionsthat I have, you're picking the
options.
You're limiting everything thatI can do.
School is supposed to be a safeplace and, if I could add,
actually going to the first weekof school, they had made a new
law saying if you go bysomething else in school, like
(10:02):
if my name is Aaliyah, if I wentby, all by alley, they by law
have to contact my parents.
And school is supposed to be asafe place and now it's becoming
this place where nobody wantsto go, everybody's skipping
school, everybody's skippingclass, scared of people in it,
scared of the teachers, evenlike.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
I'm glad that you touched on that, because I kind
of forgot that, because itdoesn't necessarily apply to me
I don't go by a nickname, butit's I'd be like I hurt for you,
like this is the only place you, this is the one place that you
should feel safe at and yourteachers call you what you want,
they make you feel at home.
And now you can't even have thatbecause they got to call your
parents exactly, and that lawhas been pending since may,
right, and it just got passed.
So teachers were letting,notifying everyone, letting them
(10:37):
know, and they're saying likewe could lose our jobs if we
don't notify parents.
And to me that's, that's likeyou said, that's just not fair.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
That's not okay at all.
So do the teachers have tonotify parents or the
administration?
The teachers Each teacher.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
Like if your name is Benjamin and they ask you in
class, hey, what do you go by?
And you say Ben, okay, I haveto tell your mom, just letting
you know.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
So if you want to tell, so even if you have a
preferred name, like if you gotyour name changed from what it
was at birth, they have to tellyour parents.
Even if your parents know theyhave to tell your parents they
have to tell, and I don't thinkthat's okay, because some
students cannot talk to theirparents about certain things.
Like you said, school is theonly place where they can feel
safe, express themselves, bewith their kind of people.
Exactly, and that's literallydisintegrating.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
So let me tell you so I've had to deal with this
before and it was difficult forme as an administrator because I
had a young lady who had analternative name and so she
corrected me the first time, andso about two weeks later I said
(11:43):
to her I said let's just usethe word Sarah.
I said, hey, sarah.
She says that's not my name,that's my dead name.
My new name is this I sayShelby.
Okay, so I start calling herShelby.
Then a week later she saidthat's my dead name again and
(12:06):
wanted me to call her somethingelse.
So what I said was and thenwhen I made a mistake, she said
that's not my name, you need tocall me this.
And I said well, hold on, as anadministrator, how am I to
remember or to know whenever youdecide to change your name?
And again, I know this is notspecifically what you're talking
(12:27):
about, but I'm trying to giveyou guys a perspective of an
adult's perspective.
Real quick, but this is notsomething that we've ever had to
deal with, right, so it waschallenging for me, so let me go
on to tell the story.
So then, when the mom came inthe building for something, she
(12:49):
said Something unrelated.
Yeah, just came in to talk to us, but she was going to be
involved in the conversation.
She said don't call me that.
Call me, let's say Sam was anoriginal name.
And I said look, you're puttingme in a difficult situation
(13:10):
like I'm not going to be goingback and forth remembering when
to call you this and how to callyou that, like so the last
thing you asked me to call you.
I'm gonna be respectful to that.
But I don't think that they werehappy with that, so tell me
about the child wasn't happywith the fact that I called them
the last name that she told meto call her.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
So how, from your perspective, if you're switching
constantly not letting everyoneknow you can't possibly expect
any person without respect orwith respect on the subject, to
remember it.
I mean you need to pick a nameand stick with it and that's for
anybody if I like.
If I'm ben and I go by benjamin, don't change it to benny the
next week.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Like you, you pick a name and that's what you're
gonna stick with and if you aregonna like, hey, maybe I'm kind
of questioning, like what I wantto go by, you need to let
everyone know, because thenit'll it'll.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
If you want respect on that.
You're gonna have to speak upto get it, you set your
boundaries Exactly.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
You can't just expect for everybody to know, but for
the kids who do speak up aboutit.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
And with this law, like it's, like you know, you're
telling the parents because onethey either already know or the
parents that made this law athing and spoke up about how
they felt about it they want youto tell them to get your to.
I don't know, I don't want touse the word punish or get them
and or get the kid in trouble,but because they don't want
(14:26):
their kid to go by that.
So you know that, as an adult,that they're, that that's what's
going on exactly but back towhat you said, like if it's a
kid who just keeps switchingtheir name there's no way that
you can possibly exactly, andthey're just being snobby, but
for some kids.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
There's this one kid in my class.
Let's just say his name isTommy and let's say his dead
name was Timothy, and someteachers will call him Timothy
and he'll like correct them myname is Timmy, whatever.
Tom, yeah, tommy, whatever.
But he frequently has to dothat and I understand it's hard
(15:02):
for some people to be like, okay, wait, I can't call him that.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
If you can't remember that's one thing, exactly.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
But if you're just have to adjust.
You know you have you have toadjust because at that point
then it is disrespectful.
Also, pronunciation,pronouncing people's names wrong
.
I don't think that's righteither.
I tend to get that a lot and Itry to correct them respectfully
, especially if I'm new tomeeting.
But if you know me and you'restill saying my name wrong and
I'm still setting that boundary,that you're not saying my name
(15:27):
right, I think it's kind of amicroaggression but that's kind
of diving a little deep.
But I think pronunciation andcalling people the right things
are important.
But you know you and thatperson have to talk about it and
they have to talk to peopleabout it.
Set that boundary, set their.
You know what they'recomfortable with and repeatedly.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
if you feel that strongly about it, don't expect
the teacher to get it right away.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
Exactly that's not that there's no need for
disrespect.
Exactly If you want your nameto be said right.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
Or even me, like I don't go by anything else, I go
by my name, and my teacher stillalmost the whole week of school
, was calling me different, adifferent name every day a liar,
like some something every timeand it was just like I'm not
just gonna let her not call memy name, so like y'all correct
her about it.
And it's like you can't doanything about a teacher
mispronouncing or a teacherforgetting.
(16:16):
You can do something about ateacher who you can be
repetitive.
No, that's not what I'm gonnasay, but you can do something
about a teacher who is just notrespecting you enough to call
you what you want, exactlybecause that's not okay.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
Let me tell you, I understand, I mean we know as
kids too, though, because yeah,we understand we gotta adjust to
their names exactly because,like, especially like when
you're new, like you're a newstudent and like you have a,
let's say, an intricate name ora unique name, I could
understand completely that it'shard to remember, but you have
to be patient and you have tocommunicate.
Set the boundaries Like youhave.
(16:47):
You just have to communicate.
That's really all it takes.
You just can't let someone stepover you, like I'm not going to
let someone call me a real thewhole year.
I used to be like that, but myfriends were like you have to
speak up for yourself.
You.
My friends were like you haveto speak up for yourself.
You have to tell them my name'sAvril, not A-real, like you
have to let people know.
I remember I did that when Iwas younger.
Yeah, and now you don't do itno more because I she was like
my name is.
Speaker 3 (17:07):
What did you say?
My name is Avril and I was likeokay.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
Then the next day I was like Avril she was like I
had to put, like you know how,on Google if you search for
Pronunciation, I had to put thepronunciations, Even my last
name.
My last name is very simple.
I had to put pronunciations onit to let teachers know what
could you pronounce?
Your last name Newsom Newman.
People would call me names thatweren't even my last name.
But you just have to let peopleknow.
(17:36):
It's hard to not get, becauseme personally, I have felt a lot
of frustration about my name,even been like ashamed of it,
because I was like people can'tsay my name Like this is so
stupid.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
But you just have to make sure, number one, you're
around the right people, rightadults and just communicate how
you're feeling and communicatewhat's right, I feel, so that
the frustration comes more fromit happening your whole life and
like your, name beingmispronounced your whole life.
And your name beingmispronounced your whole life
and not from like just beingdisrespected, that a teacher
forgot Exactly.
Speaker 3 (18:03):
All right.
So the other thing I know youguys wanted to talk about.
I know we talked a little bitabout the cell phone, but you
guys had mentioned the Jessica.
Oh yeah, so let's talk, let'stalk about it, let's talk Okay.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
So, as you guys might know, crop tops are definitely
in.
And one thing I do want to sayI understand there is some
things that you cannot wear toschool.
It's inappropriate to wear toschool the workplace.
You know, a lot of places havea dress code and that's
perfectly fine.
Now there was a lot of, andthis dress code is targeted
(18:36):
towards the girls in the school.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
It's not targeted toward the boys at all, unless
they wear crop tops, whichthat's fine, who cares?
Speaker 2 (18:48):
But it's, let's say, not girls, it's targeted at
feminine people.
Yeah, exactly, thank you.
Yeah, it's targeted at femininepeople.
And so, people, they made a newdress code no midriff, so no
crop tops, nothing that showsyour midriff, and no spaghetti
straps.
Spaghetti straps has kind ofbeen a rule.
Now, me personally, I do not seehow shoulders or your stomach
could be a distraction.
But there was definitely somepeople who were abusing the
(19:10):
dress code, wearing bras toschool.
Now, I personally think thatthat is not appropriate.
I wouldn't say disruptive, butnot appropriate for the school
place.
But, like I said about the cellphone, policy is like you don't
have to punish everyone becausethere is some people who aren't
abusing the dress code.
Like some people do wear croptops but they're not wearing
bras to school and they're not,you know, abusing it.
(19:32):
They're not, you know, takingit too far, pushing it over to
the edge.
You don't have to punisheveryone, you just have to
punish select people, or maybenot even punish them, just sit
them down and say, hey, this iswhat you can and can't wear to
school and that's the end of it.
You don't have to because, Imean, some people might not have
those clothes or money to getthose clothes.
They might have gotten theirclothes from a thrift store and
they only have props or theirolder sister.
Exactly Like some people don'thave the resources and some
(19:54):
people might not want to dressthe way that the dress code
wants them to dress.
And, like Aaliyah said, schoolis where you should be able to
be yourself and express yourself.
And, yes, that's to a certainextent because you don't want to
get inappropriate, but, like I,should be able to wear a crop
top if it's appropriate and Iwant to.
It shouldn't be a distractionto the school place.
What I'm wearing shouldn't be adistraction to how I get an
(20:14):
education.
Speaker 3 (20:15):
So let me take a couple things you said I want to
kind of push back on.
You said school should be aplace for you to be yourself.
And what was the other part?
Speaker 2 (20:26):
of that, express yourself.
Speaker 3 (20:28):
So is that what school's for?
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Well, that's not what school's for.
But you shouldn't be notallowed to express Like if I
want to dye my hair pink, Ishould be able to do that, and
no one.
You can't dye your hair pink,you can't do that here.
Anywhere you go, you should beable to be yourself, express
yourself without limitations,especially if it's not
inappropriate or hurting anyone.
You know, I don't think a girlwearing a crop top to school is
(20:51):
hurting anyone or distractinganyone, and if it's too
inappropriate, then she couldget sat down and talked to
separately I don't thinkeveryone else gets punished.
Speaker 3 (20:58):
So can I just say you know, I'm a father right.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
I understand that too .
Speaker 3 (21:02):
And I have a 16-year-old who's the same age
as you all.
So when you say Well, that'syour daughter.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
You know you're the parent, but I'm talking about
schools.
Speaker 3 (21:11):
Well, you guys aren't going to agree with me anyway,
right, but for the sake of it,I've had like.
There are days when she leavesthe house and I'm like here, go
put some doggone clothes on.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
Right, I get that.
You're her dad, though thesepeople at school, if you're not.
For me, like I said, I can seetwo sides of a lot of things.
I can see both sides and I cansee how both sides could be
right Exactly, but me being me,the side that I pick is right.
Like if you're a teacher oryou're another student or you're
anything in that building, beprofessional enough to not let
(21:43):
whatever I'm wearing get to you.
I don't care.
I'm not saying like this isokay, like I don't care about
walking in some panties, likeyou don't, that's a problem.
I know, definitely.
It's an example.
Don't you like?
Literally don't look.
You don't look at a kid likethat, or you shouldn't be
working in the school building.
It shouldn't be the kids.
Speaker 3 (22:02):
It shouldn't be coming in to look like that, but
like those kind of things.
That's not fair because it'sinappropriate, right?
So that doesn't mean somebody'slooking at you.
That means that they're tryingto so like I'm a father right.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
If they're uncomfortable, that's okay.
It's not about beinguncomfortable.
Speaker 3 (22:16):
making sure that you are safe, making sure that
you're going to, but we shouldbe safe in the school building
anyway.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
That's the whole point.
We should be safe where we are.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
We should be safe enough to express ourselves and
be able to look how we want tolook and knowing that we're
going to be safe there and thatwe can do it.
But also, I understand whatyou're saying about the father
thing.
But if I walk out the door andmy dad doesn't say anything, you
and my dad doesn't say anything.
You know, come back and changethen neither should the school
board.
If my parents, the person whowatches me, make sure that I'm
(22:44):
safe 24-7, 365, then it shouldbe okay, and if it's not, you
just got to talk to me.
You don't have to punisheverybody.
Also, your stomach and yourshoulders, should I feel like
it's such a big issue and itshould not be.
I could understand your privateareas, but your shoulders and
your stomach.
I understand maybe if you hadan extraordinarily short shirt,
(23:08):
but like, why is it such aproblem for my shoulders to be
exposed?
Speaker 3 (23:12):
But you guys said that a lot of people were
misusing or abusing.
So how?
As a school, individually,individually, individually,
individually.
But you know, you got apopulation but you're sent home.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
Yeah, you don't care about school, you don't care
about your education that sucks.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
Population about 1500 kids that's what you got to do,
hey miss if you want a dresscode.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
That's what you got to go through because you're not
that's not fair to just like mepersonally, I last year I used
I wear baggy clothes all year,like I've always been like a
baggy clothes wearing person.
But this year like I've beenreally big on self-love and I've
been trying to love myself moreand just become more confident
and like open up more with my,with my variety of clothes.
(23:54):
And it's hard to do that whenthe year I try to do that y'all
want to change the dress codeand it's like no crop tops, no
this, no that, but boysliterally take their shirt off
in gym, exactly, and it's justBoys get to get away with
whatever they want, anything.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
So do you guys bring that up they?
Speaker 1 (24:09):
punish.
I mean, I brought it up to youwhen I went to dentist, didn't I
?
Yeah, but but you're the onlyperson that listened.
She's never even in our office.
Speaker 3 (24:17):
Yeah, they don't care , let's make sure we don't
specify names right, yeah, andso just say you know whatever.
But anyway, the point of it isthat sometimes people in our
office they're always walkingaround school doing stuff, right
?
Speaker 2 (24:29):
Yeah, and that's fine , but they should be walking
around and if they have rulesimplemented, then they should.
And like, let's say, they seesomeone who's not following the
dress code, they can pull thatperson to the side.
You know, all you have to do iscall the teacher, call the
office hey, send Miss Sally downand talk to them or send them
home.
You don't have to punish theentire school with, like you
said, so many kids there.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
So you guys see boys wearing slagging pants.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
That's a problem I have heard some teachers, you
know, pull up your pants andstuff, but they don't care.
Speaker 3 (25:05):
But like some teachers, like you know, pull up
your pants and stuff, but theydon't care.
But, like alia said, taking offtheir shirts and wearing
undershirts and stuff like that,I just feel like it's very
one-sided, some of that stuff,stuff from like, for instance,
my son.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
I have a 18 year old and I don't allow him to walk
around my house with a shirt offbut yeah, but that's you as a
parent, I know I'm saying so isthat?
Speaker 3 (25:17):
so I'm just want to push?
Is that some stuff that youfeel like people should be
getting at home, or is that just?
Speaker 2 (25:22):
Well, that's something that I can't really
touch on, because I can't tellparents how to parent their
children, but at school you knowlike.
I just think it should be fair.
It should never be one-sidedDouble standard.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
Yeah, double standard .
Speaker 2 (25:35):
If girls can't wear tank tops, neither can boys.
If girls can't stick off theirshirt, neither can boys.
Speaker 3 (25:39):
Have you guys had a conversation with the folks?
Are you planning on doing this?
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Well, the school year just started.
But I mean, I just kind of feellike some of the administrators
there.
They're like rules are rules orthey'll just say we didn't make
these rules.
The school board did Talk tothe person who did, because I
can't, but you can never.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
No I can't.
Speaker 3 (25:57):
Yes, you can.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
So I'm going to call you and have you come bring me.
Speaker 3 (26:00):
So no, what happens is, you know, there's a school
board and then there's publicopportunities for public
comments at the school boardmeeting.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
Yeah, but you can comment.
But if the school board madethe decision, they already know
what the odds are, what thechoices are.
Are we going to let them showtheir measure?
They already know they're theone who made the rule.
Speaker 3 (26:24):
I have just to be fair with the school board.
I have seen some school boardmeetings within the last year
where people have come in andexpressed a concern and they've
revisited or re-looked at it.
But the only way and some of itis they may not know.
So let's give folks the benefitof the doubt.
But you guys have to, if youfeel so strongly about something
(26:45):
, have the conversation.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
I also feel like, if it's just, let's say, me and
Aaliyah were to go to the schoolboard and we wanted to talk to
the school board, I also thinkI'm not saying that our voices
aren't strong enough, but Ithink every single girl from the
school would have to complainabout it to make it happen,
because I think they would thinkthat it was biased.
If that makes sense, they thinkwe're just doing it for
ourselves and really it's.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
Do you get what I'm trying to say, yeah, I
understand that they just wouldthink it's our opinion when it's
kind of wide.
Speaker 3 (27:11):
I think that kids have voices, right.
So I had the opportunity ofgoing to an institution at
Earlham where it taught us howto advocate for ourselves and
all of that, and so we were ableto invoke a lot of change and I
think that I see within you all, like the one example is your
poetry, you know like that givesyou the opportunity to voice
your opinion.
So I would just say, start offfirst of all.
(27:31):
You start off with theadministrators, right.
You go to them, get you anumber of young ladies and you
ask to have a conversation.
Now, I'm not very familiar withthe dress code policy this year
.
I'm familiar with the dresscode policy coming out of my
house and there are.
You know, if there's five daysa week, there's two days, I'm
saying, ah, go put a jacket onor go do something, and it's
(27:54):
because that's just I'm oldschool, right.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
Yeah, that's perfect for time.
Speaker 3 (27:58):
And let me be honest with you, I'm so old school that
sometimes it infringes upon mycommunication and my
relationship, because sometimesyou know, my child is like Dad,
like everybody, wears dresses.
I don't care what everybody'sdoing Everybody ain't my child?
Speaker 1 (28:12):
Exactly Right, right.
Speaker 3 (28:14):
So you know, and I can guarantee you that if she
told you all specifically whatI'm making her change clothes in
, you'd be like Mr Hanlon youtripping.
Why are you leaving her alone?
Let?
Speaker 2 (28:24):
her wear what she wanted.
I completely understand.
My dad has said to me a coupleof times no, I don't feel
comfortable wearing that out,Not because of me and my choices
, just because of other people.
And like you said, it consistsof us being safe.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
But at school, we're supposed to be safe.
That's an interestingperspective.
Any other questions or comments?
I love this discussion.
This was a good 28.
Speaker 3 (28:49):
This is probably the longest one.
This is probably the longestsingle discussion that I've had,
so so let's, let me hear thispoem, so you guys decide.
Let's get us here to live, butI want you articulate and I want
you to rock for the people outthere.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
Okay, we are going to be reciting Our Deepest Fear by
Miriam Williamson.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we arepowerful beyond measure.
Speaker 2 (29:17):
It is our light, not our darkness, that most
frightens us.
We ask ourselves who am I to be?
Brilliant, gorgeous, talented,fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You're a child of God.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
Your playing small does not serve this world.
There's nothing enlightenedabout shrinking, so others
around you won't feel insecure.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
We are all meant to shine as children do.
We were born to make manifestthe glory of God that is within
us.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
It's not just in some of us, it's in all of us.
And as we let our own lightshine, we unconsciously give
others permission to do the sameas we are liberated from our
own fears our presenceautomatically liberates others
Out of the Mouth of Babespodcast for our youth.
Speaker 3 (30:04):
Y'all rocked it, Thank you.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
That was very short.
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