October 1, 2023 • 63 mins
Join me, Wesley Hamilton, and immerse yourself in a journey of powerful narratives at the crossroads of being Black and disabled. We've got the dynamic Lauren Lolo Spencer in the studio, an award-nominated actress and disability lifestyle influencer, who has been rewriting the script since her diagnosis at 14. Tune in as we peel back the layers on navigating the world from this unique intersection, particularly exploring barriers and opportunities within business, wealth accumulation, and representation.
We'll pull no punches as we dissect societal attitudes and generational traumas that have woven a complex web around disability and Blackness. Lauren and I will ponder the power of words, self-worth, and the struggles inherent in relationships when you're disabled. Fasten your seatbelts as we maneuver through the dizzying world of dating apps from the perspective of a Black, disabled individual.
Our discourse ranges from the importance of controlling our narratives to the need for creating safe social spaces for individuals with disabilities. You'll hear raw, unfiltered insights on how media and popular culture shape our experiences and perceptions. We round up by exploring the dynamics of taking action, persevering, and shattering societal barriers. Brace yourself for an enlightening ride through advocacy, representation, and barrier-breaking. Lauren’s story will not only inspire you but also challenge you to see the world from a different perspective.
Stay Connected: For the latest updates, follow us on our podcast Instagram
Thank you for tuning in, and see you in the next episode!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
In a world where success often steals the
limelight, the stories thattruly inspire, that truly matter
, are left behind in the shadows.
I'm your host, Wesley Hamilton.
Welcome to the Out of theShadows podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
When you're constantly working from that
space of fight, fight, fight,fight, fight, work, work, work,
work, work.
You know, shout out to Rihanna.
It's like damn, when do we getour opportunity to chill?
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Yo, what's up everybody.
This is Wesley Hamilton and I'mexcited for another episode of
Out of the Shadows.
I'm your host and I'm here withour guest today, which is
Lauren Lolo Spencer, who is adisability lifestyle influencer,
award nominated actress, modelcontent creator and a true
(01:05):
change maker.
She's a great friend of mineand I think that today's
conversation is just going to bepretty dope, so let's welcome
Lolo.
What's up?
What's up?
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Can you all?
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Yes, you know, lolo.
So this conversation todaywe're really going to just dive
into some of the things that meand you talk about a lot, and
that's the intersection betweenblack and disability.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
And so, of course, before we dive into our
conversation and become a littledeep about it, I have a little
icebreaker and it's kind ofsimilar to everybody's.
But if you could have asuperpower for a day, what would
it be and why?
Speaker 2 (01:50):
You know, I think I ask that question a lot and for
some reason, I don't know why,this is always the answer.
It's super dumb, but like Iwant to have super strength.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
I want to have super strength For some reason.
I just want to just know whatit's like to knock somebody out
and just turn up in a brawl orsomething and just be like wow.
I just want to know what that'slike and then go like twerk at
the club afterwards.
(02:28):
That would be the blend of it.
Super strength and twerkingabilities.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
But if you super strength and then you try to do
the twerking, you might end upbreaking whatever object you
hold in.
You know the man.
You'd be on a sink.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
That is a big fact.
Controlled super strength thatwould be the superpower.
Controlled super strength, soout of hand, but you know it's
still there if I need it.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
See, I like that already.
See how we just kind of addedstrength in with twerking.
See, that's why thisconversation needs to be
important, right?
So you know, a lot of peopleprobably don't know your
personal journey and I'm a firmbeliever of allowing that to
flow organically with the end.
(03:14):
I would like for you to share abit of yourself so people can
understand.
I guess people can understandyour identity when it comes to
being black and disabled.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
Yeah, well, I mean, my journey started with
disability.
I would say my journey startedwhen I was 14.
That's when I was diagnosedwith ALS.
Since then, my diagnosis hasbeen up for question.
So I kind of just like to givemy disability an overall
umbrella of like musculardystrophy or something along the
(03:46):
lines of that, because I'm ahuge, huge believer in the power
of words.
So when I say I was diagnosed,that's very intentional for me,
because I don't want to say Ihave, because then that takes
ownership and it's just like,well, if this ain't what it
really is, I'm not going toclaim something on that may not
be true.
So that's where my journeystarted with disability, and I
(04:07):
really really didn't learn theintricacies or the complexities
of what it means to be part ofthe disabled community until I
started really doing my own workas an influencer and YouTuber
in 2015, with my YouTube channelsitting pretty, and so I had
recognized, like, when it wastime to do my YouTube channel
(04:30):
and I was doing research on,like well, what other disabled
influencers exist, I was like yo, everybody's like mad, sad and
boring and they've got this liketone in their voice.
I was like, yeah, so my lifewith the disability.
Today it's really hard and Iwas just like yo son, like
nobody is going to like want tofuck with us if this is how we
(04:55):
see ourselves.
And so I was like okay, I'mgoing to flip that all on his
head.
I'm going to show me turning upand going to the clubs.
I'm going to show me drunk.
I'm going to also show therealities of it to me, crying
about you know, my fears aroundmy disability.
But also, like if I was toshare a vulnerable moment like
that, I'm also going to sharewhat I do like about my
(05:17):
disability.
So I had a video about what Iwas afraid of and then about you
know what I thought were thebenefits of having a disability.
So the more I did work as anadvocate, that's when I started
noticing more about the effect,being at the intersection of
(05:37):
being a black woman with adisability and how that was
different when it started comingdown to the moolah, when it
started coming down to thebusiness opportunities that came
as a result of the work I wasdoing.
That's when I started seeinglittle things of like now wait a
(05:58):
minute, why is this particularperson getting all of these
deals when you know I'm overhere trying to get the same
opportunity.
Now, listen, I'm a firmbeliever in whatever's for me is
for me.
But I did start to notice, Idon't know, black people are
part of this campaign with adisability, or this group of
(06:22):
people are the leading, you know, representation of disability,
but where are the black folksover there?
Where are the other people ofcolor?
And then that's when I startedrecognizing, like, okay, the
intersection of both and theexperiences in each really,
really make them different.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Yeah, because you think about like you think okay,
now I'm a part of disabledcommunity.
All these things are happeningwithin the disabled community,
all these opportunities,representations happening, boom,
boom.
I'm part of the community, I'mgonna be in it, right?
Yeah, and when you like, whoa,like?
They haven't even acceptedpeople of color yet within this,
(07:08):
this industry, within thisorganization or whatever.
So, even though I'm disabled,I'm now kinder, because I'm
black too.
Yeah right, and so it's like it,kind of.
It becomes this double,double-edged sword, in a sense
like man, I'm advocating on oneside for every one, but then on
(07:32):
the other side I'm not beingadvocated for for who I am
outside of this disability.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Exactly.
But on the flip side, though,being black and disabled, we got
to talk to our black calendarparts as well, because the
relationship to disabilitywithin the black community is
also really faltered, becausewhenever you see the sketches,
we're always the butt of thejoke.
(08:01):
It's always the the the comedysketch of a comedian and their
friend in the wheelchair andthey're pushing the wheelchair
but they hit a bump and then theperson in the wheelchair falls
out, and then that's the joke,and it's just like but that
ain't really funny.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
So you know, I mean, but you, you actually, I mean
that's great that we can.
We can kind of weave into that,because of course, we're going
to talk about some of you knowthe amazing success that you
have have had in arepresentation that you've been
able to put on for yourself.
That inspires a lot of peoplethat are in your position.
And then, of course, you wrotea book, so we got to talk about
(08:44):
that as well.
But I think when we are talkingabout the intersections of
blackness and disability, it isimportant to speak on.
Okay, yes, we started aconversation of the lack of
representation and opportunitiesfor individuals that intersect
with both, but there's a deeperproblem when it comes to the
(09:07):
black community and the blackcommunity acknowledging
disability as a whole.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Yes, right, yes.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
And so maybe let's emphasize, let's, let's talk
about that a little bit, because, you know, when we're seeing a
lot of our advocates, everyone'skind of attacking this, this
area, attacking this one, andthe attacks are normally on on
another side of the.
You know the color spectrum,right?
Yeah, yeah, from a collectiveconversations that we've had,
(09:36):
we've talked about this andwe've talked about, you know,
the barrier.
So let's you know what do youthink is probably the biggest
issue within a black communitywhen it comes to accepting
disability?
Speaker 2 (09:49):
Oh, boy, okay, I'm trying to figure out how I'm
going to word this.
I think, because of the historyof black people in America,
right, to achieve anything, wewear it with much pride.
Right, anything we ever create,we are the most proud, prideful
(10:14):
people in the world.
Right?
Because, granted, everythingwas stripped away from us and we
had to rebuild, and even in therebuilding there was
destruction along the way, right?
So I think, because of thatpride of who we are, how we show
(10:38):
up, how we want to show up,comes into play when you have
the overall society.
This has nothing to do withblackness the overall society
not accepting the existence ofpeople with disabilities.
When a black person shows upwith a fault or something that
(11:03):
is deemed unperfect, orsomething that there's not an
understanding of, something tobe proud about, like, why should
I be proud of the fact that youknow, in your case, I got shot?
Speaker 1 (11:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
There's nothing about that that should be prideful
according to society, right?
What is there to be proud offor being a wheelchair user?
We can't find the pride in that.
So there is no acceptance ofour existence in that space
(11:42):
Because we have to fight all thetime.
That it's like.
Why would we fight for thesepeople who are already in a
fucked up position?
Basically, it's the attitude.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
So I and I think again, because of just history,
we are a group of people thatbelieve that we could pray
everything away.
And there's that whole thing ofyou.
Oh, just pray the way he good.
Ain't nothing wrong with him.
We don't.
We're too prideful to admitthat something is actually going
(12:19):
on, from down to black men notgoing to the doctor, to black
women showing up to the doctorsand not getting the treatment
they deserve, because that's awhole thing within itself.
When something is quote unquotewrong, there's this attitude of
(12:41):
avoidance because we have tofigure everything else out and
find some sort of break or joyor pride in that.
Does that all make sense?
Speaker 1 (12:55):
No, like seriously, when you, when you put it like
that, I mean no, that's true,because you know society, like
you said, as a whole alreadysees disability as a problem,
right, and when you have a groupof people in a community, the
black community, that is stillchasing and trying to find an
identity due to stereotypes inany quality, all of these other
(13:18):
things, I've always felt like,you know, the mindset is I don't
have space to accept somethingelse when I'm still trying to be
accepted and or just normalize,like we just want to live a
life of normalcy where we canride in our cars and not be
afraid of getting pulled over.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
We just want to know what that experience is like.
We want to know what it's liketo go into a bank.
Show our proof that we are goodbusiness owners and we have
income and get along.
We want to know what that'slike and we don't.
So kind of.
(13:59):
Exactly what you're saying iswe ain't got time to also figure
out this part.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Yeah, yeah because I'm still, I'm still struggling.
There's not a lot ofgenerational success within
black community.
So when you have, you know thegenerations before you, still
trying to find a way.
It becomes that you're ahindrance more than you know a
blessing when it like.
So, just from my experience,like once I got injured and went
back into my life, I did feellike I was a burden on everyone
(14:29):
because nobody prepared for whatI was dealing with.
You know, even my communitylacked access for me to be able
to, to thrive, and so, again,those were.
Those were areas where I thinka lot of people are going back
to their communities.
But, you know, for the blackindividual that has the
(14:50):
disability are facing a lot ofother barriers as well as like
internalized trauma in a sense,because of just the things that
are around now and the lack ofacceptance is kind of like.
I've always told people that,living with my disability, for a
while I started to like reflecton my past and part of that
(15:14):
reflection, part of thatreflection, made me visualize
all the people that's been in mylife with a disability, but
they have accepted it in a sensethat they didn't embrace it,
they accept and pushed it off soyou could see someone I mean,
I've had multiple individualsthat I've known that have
encountered and they had aphysical disability but like,
(15:37):
yeah, they live the normal lifeand you find a way to just kind
of push it off, but embracing isdifferent, and embracing is
allowing people to know that youown it and that this is.
This is me.
This is me.
This is what I represent, ontop of what else I represent.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
And you didn't see a lot of people embrace it.
And so when you know, say, forindividuals like you and I, it
comes a place where you kind ofcome into the space and you want
to do you embrace it.
Yeah, and if I do embrace it,well, now I will, I be accepted,
because if I'm only a part ofthis one community that I feel
(16:18):
comfortable in, because,regardless of what, I'm still
black, so I love music, I lovethe culture, right, and so I
want to be involved in a culture, but then a culture isn't
involved within me, yeah.
So, and then, before we evenpass that, I do want to share a
little bit, like when you talkabout the history and people
have to understand to thataround slavery time, anyone that
(16:44):
was different and had adisability, that was black,
wasn't useful.
So you think about it from thatperspective is definitely
something generationally beenbeen built into us, because if
we weren't useful, there's a Idon't know how true it is they
bet it's to the, to the, to thealligators, you know, and and I
(17:06):
did like that where they justkind of pushed you off because,
again, you couldn't, youcouldn't work, labor, and so
yeah so that also.
We talked about generationaltrauma.
Well, that's, that's a layer ofthat trauma.
You know, yeah, well, you'renot useful.
Yeah, you don't have theability.
So, as we're growing,segregation was just done 50
(17:27):
years ago, so you have to thinkabout that too.
Where are the black disabledindividuals around that era that
I can visualize that wasactually living and thriving?
You know, yeah, and we've hadconversations with some of our
old geez and learn stories ofindividuals with CP having to,
you know, kind of scoot it andto it, in a sense, to get on the
(17:50):
buses or when you have to walk,mouse right.
So all of these things havebeen barriers for disability as
a whole, when it comes to schoolsystem, history, all of that.
But when you have that extralayer of identity which makes
you different to everyone else,now this a hindrance.
(18:11):
So just kind of wanted peopleto understand that it does go
deeper than just 2020.
And what's now?
It goes deeper to.
Well, when did you ever seeblack representation of a
disabled body in the hospitals?
Yeah, in the medical books,anywhere that you felt like,
(18:34):
okay, right, like you didn't.
What you see us now and I say usbecause it low, low me and a
few other handful of people thatthey grab and taking our
pictures, right, but before thatyou had a lot of people
searching for the person thatthey were supposed to become,
and that's the representation,because it failed us so long.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
Yeah, no, and that's big facts.
I mean, you know, even incertain interviews people have
always asked me like well, whenyou were newly diagnosed as a
teenager, like who did you haveto look up to?
To you know, feel good aboutyourself?
Or to you know who did you haveto look up to?
And I was just like nobody,nobody with the disability at
(19:19):
least, like I would see, likethe Raven Simons and Kyla Pratt
and stuff like that, and be likeoh, that's key palm or like
that's cool what they're doing.
I feel like my personality islike theirs, I love them, but I
know they didn't move around inthe same way that I did.
And again, I think even at ayoung age I didn't even fully,
(19:41):
fully grasp the concept of whatit meant to have a disability at
14.
All this shit didn't reallycome to me until I was an adult.
But I think that's also alsothe other thing about it is,
like you said, even with us notbeing useful back then.
That's when internalized ableismkicks in twice as much, because
(20:06):
we talked about internalizedableism within the disability
community.
But I feel there's a certainlevel of internalized ableism
when you are a black person,because there's this, this idea
that constantly gets brought up.
We have to work twice as hard,twice as much, be twice as
(20:27):
talented to get just the the,the equal amount of, you know,
whatever our white counterpartsget right.
So there's this constant,constant proving of our worth
Constantly as black people,especially as black women.
(20:49):
And then you add in disability.
So when you're constantlyworking from that space of fight
, fight, fight, fight, fight,work, work, work, work, work,
you know, shout out to Rihannait's like damn.
When do we get our opportunityto chill and know that
(21:11):
everything's gonna be all right?
Speaker 1 (21:13):
Yeah, probably never.
Unfortunately, we're settingthe tone for the generations
after us.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
You know we're gonna have to Then literally, that's
what we're doing this for Likethis has nothing to do with us.
This is for all the generationsafterwards, and by that time
Lord knows that there's gonnajust be robots.
But I don't know.
I know right I'm not gonna goin that direction.
That's a different tangent, butyes.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
That's an AI taking over our lives, but they have no
color, right Like they have nocolor?
Speaker 2 (21:41):
They have no color.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Okay.
So I really like us emphasizingthe history lesson here,
because I do want people to know, even looking at the title and
knowing that we're about to havea conversation on blackness and
disability, that we're nottrying to be able to say this is
a black and white thing.
When it comes to blackness anddisability, it's a human issue
right now.
(22:03):
Yeah, it's everywhere.
Like for me just to emphasize,I was on a recent episode of
Queer Eye for a second time andI got to meet a young man that
is in a wheelchair from a caraccident and he emphasized in
this meeting me and him had thatbecause he's in a wheelchair,
most people think that he wasshot Just in a wheelchair.
(22:26):
So, again, like when I say, ahuman issue, there is so many
cultures that literally pray onour downfall, in a sense, and
visualize it.
When you see someone that isdifferent, you see some
wheelchair and you already thinkthey were shot, not because
they told you they were shot,but because of the lifestyle
that you perceive they live.
Speaker 2 (22:47):
Right.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
Like in states, but you can see your family member
and be like oh no, he was in acar accident.
No, well, I was in a caraccident too.
You know what I mean Like, andit's that perception that I find
.
And when I go out and travel,you get to see how other
cultures see you and yourdisability.
By the way you're treated fromthem Right, and I always tell
(23:09):
people that I learned more abouthow I'm seen as a black
disabled man just by the waysociety treats me Right.
If I'm driving far and I go,pull up into an accessible
parking spot.
You see what I said accessibleparking spot.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
That part.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
I'm most likely to get cussed out or for someone to
be belligerent or not evenallow me to park because I don't
look disabled enough.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
Yes, ooh, we're gonna go there.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
And so, when you think about it, how are you able
to accept other cultures andother people with disability?
But a black person needs tolook a certain type in order for
me to consider them to bedisabled, Right?
That's also a barrier that Ifeel like a lot of people get.
So it's either you alreadyperceive what has happened to
(24:02):
the individual or they don'tlook up to par.
So, like you said, you're goinginto a space and they probably
deny you or offer their ownself-perceived opinions and of
you not because, oh, you gave onpaperwork and they're like
you're not disabled, but whyaren't you?
Because you haven't visuallyseen it enough.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
Right.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
See, it goes back to the lack of representation.
So me and you, as well as therest of the community, are going
through these multiple layersof barrier.
Yeah, but let's go to the nextthing.
So, with all of these layersthat we have, all of this fight,
fight, fight.
Lolo, you're fighting, okay,and you Listen to that.
(24:50):
At the end of the day, like youknow, I want you to share your
experience when it comes to theinfluence that you've placed
within the entertainmentindustry, like you've been
nominated for awards, when itcomes to acting your own text
lives of college girls.
That's on HBO right now and ifyou guys have not watched it,
(25:10):
lolo is a pure authentic beingon this show.
It is so good and she gets tocome in rolling and disability
to me and you can share it in aminute.
But for me, when I watch it,it's not emphasized, it's just a
part of you and that's theother part, and you get to be
(25:32):
able to like what was it?
I'm not gonna share it all, butI Okay, I was rolling in and it
was like a nude party orsomething.
I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Y'all have to make you party.
Speaker 1 (25:44):
It was something.
It was so fun and I didn't seeno good, so okay, so just like.
Well, this was definitely a TVshow, but it really made me feel
good that even you were a partof that.
You know what I mean, yeah, andyour character was like come on
, let's go Like you know thatkind of set the tone.
So you know, share that as wetalk about all these barriers.
(26:08):
You know your success on HBO,your success in certain films
and even the work that you'redoing now and even been on a
Disney show, right, yeah.
Disney movie.
So I just want you to share alittle bit of you know how does
that feel.
But also, what do you plan todo with the platform to make
sure that your work doesn't getforgotten?
Speaker 2 (26:29):
Absolutely.
So.
You know, this kind of goesback to what I was saying
earlier.
It's like I'm a firm believerof whatever is for you is for
you right, and I will say that Iknow what works for me is
because I am my authentic self,like the way me and Wes are
(26:53):
talking right now is how me andWes would talk wherever we're at
.
Okay, I was gonna say more, butI was like now I don't want
people to know where we live.
But you know, it's who I am,it's how I'm always shown up,
and because of my extrovertedspirit, I feel like you know
(27:14):
people like my personality andso I use it to my advantage to
represent being black anddisabled.
And so, even when I startedacting so I was doing YouTube
first, and as a result of thepopularity that I was, you know,
gaining on YouTube, I got theopportunity to audition for an
(27:37):
indie film, give Me Libertywhich, by the way, everyone
needs to go watch it becauseit's a phenomenal film.
I got the role, but it wasabout two years before we
actually ended up filming it,like that's traditional for
indie films.
But when I was debating onwhether or not I wanted to take
on the role, I had some realconversations with some friends
(27:58):
and everything else and Irecognized that to be in a film
where I was a lead character wasway more important than my own
fears or reservations aroundwhether or not I can actually do
the job as an actress, becausemy agent before Give Me Liberty.
(28:20):
I had never acted before Like Idid little funny sketches on ADD
and stuff like that, but likereal acting lines, intentions.
I had never in my life donethat.
But I had told myself.
I said it's more important forpeople to see a young black
woman in a powerful rolestanding up for herself,
(28:45):
advocating for herself and doingit in a way that is justified,
based on the context of thestory.
I'm not gonna tell the story,but based on the context of the
story, it's more important tosee that than it is for me to
punk out and be like am I a goodactor?
So everything that I've done upuntil this point has always
(29:06):
been about the importance of therepresentation and I make it
very clear with any project thatI work on.
This is how I show up, this ishow I'm going to be.
There's this part of the storythat I don't feel is authentic
to the disabled community, orthere's this part of the story I
(29:28):
don't feel a black woman wouldrespond like this.
So it's being able to havethose conversations with your
producers, with your directorsto and your writers to say, hey,
this ain't it.
And because I know I have thekind of personality that isn't
afraid to say that, it's evenmore important for me to take
(29:50):
advantage of the opportunitiesthat I can so that way I can
make sure that I'm not onlyspeaking up for myself, but I'm
speaking up for the viewers whoare gonna end up watching this.
I'm speaking up for the actorsto come up behind me next and
the ones that are rightalongside of me doing it at the
same time that I'm doing it.
So I want to make sure that I'mhitting all of those points.
(30:14):
So, with the opportunity ofsomething like Sex Lies, the
thing that drew me to thecharacter was the fact that they
wrote it in a way that hadreally nothing to do with her
disability, but they never shiedaway from the fact that she
shows up in a wheelchair, and soI had conversations with our
(30:35):
showrunner, justin, and talkingto my agent and the people on
set about accommodations andaccessibility and all the
different things, because I knowI'm not showing up just to be
an actress and one day talentwith disabilities will be able
to show up and just act and gohome.
(30:55):
But until then, there's got tobe the people like myself and
many others right now who aregoing into these spaces saying
fix that, work on that, that'sgreat, keep going in that
direction.
Oh, y'all should have asked mefirst, but that's all right,
we're going to work this out.
Here goes the solution for that, and so with that, I
(31:17):
intentionally pick the rolesthat are authentic to the
disabled experience and with theplatform kind of, what I'm
saying is is that advocatingbehind the scenes, advocating
every time I get the opportunityto speak, because now, because
of the popularity, everybodywant to talk to me.
(31:39):
So, my boys, we're going totalk to each other, we're going
to talk about this.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
We're going to make sure we address these things and
then, with that, ultimatelyleads to live solo, the
lifestyle brand.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
Nice.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
And so, yeah, that's.
That's just where it's at.
It's just overall aboutadvocating for a better
experience, a better life, abetter lifestyle for people with
disabilities and for blackpeople with disabilities to see
themselves and know that therethere's more that we can do than
(32:17):
what anybody tells us on aregular basis.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
Absolutely, and I really like that, because you
are definitely making strides inthe things that you're doing
and you know you are anauthentic person and I think
that shows up everything thatyou do.
It can be something that mostpeople feed into, because when
you're thinking about disability, sometimes people don't know if
(32:41):
they can be authentic.
Right and even with theplatform right.
Like I always tell people, youknow I'm authentic because, like
you said, I know who I am.
I'm a person that can pull up,listen in the Nipsey and then
give you a motivational speechthree hours later.
Speaker 2 (32:58):
Like.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
I know who I am and I own that and what I, what I
practice is what I preach, yeah,but I can never, I can never
shy away from being that visualrepresentation to that young man
or woman coming from thecommunity that I came from, and
so you know, there's not enoughpeople doing it.
Where that you can, you canshelter your identity, or you
(33:19):
should, yeah, right, like youshouldn't shelter your identity
because if if so, then you getput into a bubble that really
doesn't include theintersections of who you are.
Right, right, and that's thepart that we're talking about is
, like you know, most peoplehave to see disability for more
than one lens.
Speaker 2 (33:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:39):
And when you see it from more than one lens you
actually now are serving more.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
Yes, and that's why I love like voicing the character
of Jazzy on Firebirds, theDisney plus animation, because
we don't talk about enoughChildren representation, black
children with disabilities beingrepresented.
So when I got the opportunityto voice Jazzy, again she's a
(34:07):
spunky girl, she's got beautifulcurly hair and all these
different things, and again it'snot about her disability, it's
about her imagination, about howfun of a personality she is,
how much she just loves herbrother and that relationship.
That was important to show upfor as well, because to me it's
(34:28):
the children are our future.
Speaker 1 (34:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:30):
Teach them well and let them lead the way.
It's that, that's we have to.
Also, as adults, make surewe're we're taking care of our
babies, too, with disabilities,because we don't talk about that
enough either.
And so, yeah, I'm sorry totouch you off, but I had to.
Speaker 1 (34:49):
No, because I think, I think I was literally this
morning thinking about that.
You know, thinking about howmany children live with
disabilities that are that arecoming from the black community,
yet you still don't have apowerful visual representation
of that.
Yeah, you know, and yeah, sothen it goes back to why isn't
(35:12):
the black community acceptingcertain things like disability?
Well, you know, if you're aparent that has a child with a
disability, you probably don'teven know the resources that are
out there because they haven'tshared them with you.
So you kind of get into a modewhere you're empowering your
child based off of what you know, and some that's even
(35:33):
sheltering.
And again, it's because now youjust try and make sure that
they're safe, protected and allthese other things.
And so I think that now you, Ilike your direction and I like
the fact of emphasizing thatchildren do need to see that
representation, because alldisabilities aren't physical,
right?
Yeah, and within the blackcommunity, we face a lot of
(35:54):
individuals that are dealingwith autism, something that you
know it's, it's, it's, it'smulti to especially like, even,
as a lot of people are, you know, sharing the mental health
issue.
So you know, at PTSD, depression, anxiety, all of these, I was
just about to bring it up beingblack, not knowing that you can
(36:16):
get to therapy, not evenunderstanding therapy, and then
having a disability where peoplestill don't really want to
serve you because you have somany layers of trauma.
Yes, so you can be served frommy disability, because I'm going
to tell you I might be feelingsome talk away about this black
man that just got shot on TVyesterday, and are you going to
(36:36):
talk to me about that too,because it's triggering my
disability.
Speaker 2 (36:41):
Exactly, exactly.
You know, and you know I've hadconversations with my own
therapist.
You know, sometimes I feel likedamn, but I just don't too much
honor because I'm like, youknow, I was kind of having this,
so it.
And that's the thing.
When we talk about self worthSelf worth is the biggest thing
that I struggle with peopleprobably think, oh no, no, so
(37:01):
confident.
Yes, I am confident in manyways, but self worth is a thing
that I have to work on everysingle like literally, wake up,
I am worthy and sometimes Iforget to say it and then my
whole day is just shit.
But you know, I was talking tomy therapist about my struggles
with self worth and I'm like,how do I find the worth within
(37:27):
myself when society says, as adisabled person, we don't see
you, we don't accept you as adisabled person, we don't want
you in here because this placeisn't accessible or you got to
go around in the back or you gotto go through an alley Up.
It's just fucking dumb.
And then when you're a blackwoman, when literally
(37:51):
statistically on dating apps,there have been reports of black
women being the least messageback on dating apps, the least
to be swiped right on, the leastto get every like if they sent
a message to get a response back.
Like, literally, when you feellike you're at the bottom of the
(38:12):
totem pole and then like alittle deeper than that, it's
like where do you?
And then, when you actually arein the world and you Are dating
or trying to build friendshipsor whatever the case is, you
then start revealing to peoplelike okay, it's a little bit
more involved than you think itis, or I need help with this, or
(38:32):
I need help with that.
And then those Relationshipsstart to get sour.
Or even being in relationships,dating, and literally somebody
telling you if you were notdisabled, there would be no
question in this, jesus.
It's like all of this right andIn like this is what I deal
(39:02):
with as an adult who issuccessful.
Then let's add on that part,I'm successful.
People Recognize me every oncein a while, like, do you add all
what I got, the money and Iain't good, nothing, I don't
know I.
It's like Lord, have mercyJesus.
Speaker 1 (39:21):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:22):
Michael be Jordan, please just show up, say Save me
please, sir, because this isgetting out of fucking hands.
And it's just like you said,it's the layer on top of layer
on top of.
I'm like, if I'm dealing withthis as an adult, how do we
start with the kids so by thetime they do become an adult,
they don't have to Struggle withtheir self-worth, they don't
(39:42):
have to struggle with PTSDbecause the environment that
they in, what do we do and whodo we talk to about these things
?
Because my therapist could onlyhelp me so much.
Speaker 1 (39:51):
Yeah, oh, that's so good.
That's that's so good, you know, because we see so much being
advocated about mental healthand things.
But you know I was.
I've shared posts recentlywhere I've talked about, you
know, having a disability and myplatform, but also just being a
(40:12):
gunshot survivor.
No one ever came to me withmental health resources at like.
I didn't even like you know.
I'm only owning it more nowbecause I've watched TV.
I'm not even a lot.
I started watching TV and it'sthis show that I would watch and
they would be breaking down allthese different symptoms from
(40:34):
like PTSD and and I'm like.
That's what that is like.
I've been successful, I've beentalking to people, but I had
never really acknowledged my owntrauma and things that I was
being triggered by because ofthe lack of assistance or
Acknowledgement to the blackcommunity.
Right, and you have adisability.
(40:56):
You don't have a lot of peoplethat are serving the mental
health space for people withdisabilities, no matter what
race you are, and and so thatalso becomes a layer, you know.
So I appreciate you sharingthat, because you know we get
back into the conversation ofkids.
If kids don't understand theirwork, then their value, if they
don't see Relationships andthings being successful with a
(41:19):
disability, you know, if theydon't.
You know you get a few onYouTube, but it shouldn't just
be a YouTube channel, it shouldbe a lifestyle.
You should see it on lifestyleinstead of.
You know, these are fiveindividuals with relationships
with disability.
Go follow them.
No, because it's it's it'sportraying a different narrative
when everyone has their ownidentity and life and so, yeah,
(41:41):
instead I just want to be out inpublic and see.
I just want to see it right andwhat that visual looks like.
I just want to see it right.
There's just people out, peopleat bars, right, like you spoke
real highly about the lack ofaccess, and you know, access is
the thing that keeps people awayfrom normalizing disability,
(42:02):
because if you're not puttingsomeone with the disability in a
space that now they cannormalize it, then what you're
saying, hey, this is for you.
So now, yeah, my able-bodiedfriends know when I'm showing up
, because that's, yeah, spacefor me, instead of me to a bar
on a late night, you know, andsaying I just want to go have a
drink and then I can go pull upand roll up to the to the lower,
(42:25):
you know, bar table in hangright, like how, yeah, why can't
it be that normal, instead ofme rolling up to the bar and
that's where all the servers use, they stuff right, I'm all
around all these extra right,like I'm around traffic, so I
can't even really enjoy myself.
Or I go to a restaurant that'snew, but all they have is tall
(42:48):
tables.
Yeah so now my food is sittingon my lap and all my able-bodied
friends think is okay to put ahot plate on your lap.
Right, like I, like I'm and I.
And I always have to tellpeople like man, like I'm not,
okay, right, yeah again, like Isaid, like when you want to
Normalize, you have to getaccess, because normalizing
(43:10):
something can happen organically, it can happen very
Authentically, by low, low,rolling in somewhere having a
good time.
That introduces someone to say,hey, you're just a normal
person, I'm about to go overthere.
But if only see you at thegrocery store or only see you at
the hospital, or you right, I'mthinking there's something
wrong with you and maybe that'stoo much for me to be a part of
(43:34):
the conversation, right?
Speaker 2 (43:35):
Yes, yes, exactly there.
There hasn't been enough socialrepresentation For people with
disabilities to show up tocertain places, go to certain
things.
Like I know there's like someparties that I go to and they'll
post me and I'm like, okay,cool, like y'all trying to let
people know we good over here,it's a safe space here at these
(43:59):
parties, so we love that.
But you know, I think in ingeneral, you know, it's like
even something as simple as likea Starbucks.
It's like, yeah, you get in it,but can you really stay?
Yeah, not when there's thatmuch traffic, not when there's
that many people at the tables,and you know Whatever the case
(44:20):
is.
So I just feel like, with peoplelike ourselves in the space
that we are, it can feel reallyoverwhelming because it's like
fuck, we have to talk abouteverything every step of the way
.
But I will say it's a beautifulplace to be because we get to
be the leaders and Thoughtmakers, to push and share the
(44:44):
narrative.
The challenges is making surewe get the fucking credit.
People have invented everythingthat everybody likes, has
invented everything thateverybody uses and we don't get
(45:05):
the credit for it.
Yeah and in the disability space.
There have been plenty of timesFor us, as black people have
shared our experiences, saidwhat we said, use certain facts
and statements that have nowbeen accredited Towards people
who ain't us.
Speaker 1 (45:25):
Yeah, we've definitely created champion D I
influencer.
You know, in our space, ourlived experiences have
definitely amplified peoplewithout the lived experiences to
be the voices for us, because,again, it goes back to the
barrier of black and disabilityand something, yeah, even
platforms.
I'm on a lot of platforms, so Iwant to speak highly about
(45:47):
LinkedIn in the sense thatthere's a lot of this LinkedIn
Disability voice text.
None of these people Okay, nicepeople are black, not to a, not
to the level of all of theother disability advocates that
are on LinkedIn that are gettingpushed out and promoted by
LinkedIn.
It's the lens that we'retalking about right now and so,
(46:10):
again, like for me, when I lookat it, I'm like okay, you know,
what efforts do we need to?
It's that fight, fight, fightagain.
Right, how much more do I needto prove to you that I can
advocate on all these differentareas, inspections?
Well, it gets back into youdon't want me to talk about my
(46:30):
experience, because you're notready for the black experience
and you're definitely not readyfor the black disabled
experience, because then itmakes people question Are there
DI efforts actually working?
Speaker 2 (46:41):
Yeah, or it makes people in the room uncomfortable
and they're like oh well,that's not the part of D E and I
we were talking about.
Speaker 1 (46:49):
It's like what in big what?
Speaker 2 (46:50):
because this is what it is.
Like the fuck you thought.
Speaker 1 (46:57):
Like it's and so our but that's.
That is what is, and theTransparency of this
conversation is for people tounderstand.
We're still fighting for thesame advantages that some people
that haven't even put up afight or getting, and you know,
and, and on top of that, livingthe lifestyles that we live as
(47:19):
Extra pressure to the dailydisability that we live with,
right, and so People don't evenpay attention to your disability
anymore Because they're onlytrying to push you.
So, like you say, like you gosomewhere and you stress to your
bodies aching over that noone's Empathetic to be aware of
that, so they just think yeah.
(47:40):
They think you have that superstrength that you spoke about at
the beginning and you yeah, yousupposed to have it for your 18
plus hours.
While you sitting up.
I'll tell people like man, didyou just?
Did you sit down for 12 hours?
They have.
I seen you get up five, sixtimes to stretch.
Normally, when I see aable-bodied person come to me
(48:00):
like, oh, I got a stretch, I'mlike man, you could have kept
that to yourself.
Speaker 2 (48:05):
Yeah, right, and I think.
I think that's the thing islike.
It's always like just picking achoose and a what of what can
we say?
When do we say this?
When should we share that?
Who do we share that with?
And it's, it's.
It is really exhausting,honestly it is, but it is again
(48:28):
a very.
The way I look at it is like man, it's never easy to be the
first there you go there you goNever easy to be the first, and
I just have started to Embracethat fully and really, you know,
take that on fully and and Ifeel like too, when it comes to
de and I Stop talking to theblack people.
(48:51):
Talk to the white folks.
We know what it's like to beblack.
We know what.
We know, this information, stoptalking to us yeah, I do like.
I think that's the other partabout de and I.
That sometimes a lot of thesebrands and businesses miss Is
like they want it to be thisfull, inclusive conversation.
(49:12):
No, if the conversation isabout disability, this
conversation needs to be a townhall or a panel discussion with
disabled folks, with disabledfolks, and there should be no
other disabled people in theroom.
There should be Neither but notdisabled people in there to
(49:34):
Understand it.
If we're talking aboutblackness, have everybody in
there take these courses.
You want to take a quit?
The same way, we got to take aquiz on what to do when there's
a fire.
We're working in corporatebecause I worked in corporate
when we got to take thosequizzes.
God damn, it don't in the quizAbout being black and whatever
(49:55):
and give it to the people thatain't black Because I'm.
The fuck is going on.
Stop telling me what theproblem is.
Yeah, I don't.
Care because I'm already livingit.
Yeah let's help me to be araise from being black.
Don't talk to me.
Speaker 1 (50:15):
I mean, and you know, it's just like reliving a
disability story, right, likereliving your trauma of however
it happened.
If it was something traumatic.
It's like when you have toconstantly hear these black
stories that you're living everyday.
It's, it's in a, in a way, islike a system that's created to
keep you constantly traumatizedor defeated, right and so.
(50:38):
But you know you said somethingthat was really good, where,
you know, not only did you share, you know it's hard being the
first, but you spoke about, youknow, creating the, the proper
narrative that can lead and helpand influence Other people,
like you or not.
So let's, let's talk about thebook.
You know the book title accessto drive and enjoy the ride.
(51:00):
And it is on all platforms.
You can find it on amazon,right?
Speaker 2 (51:04):
Yes, so go on amazon, buy it now and then, when you
read it, go back to leave areview because we need those
reviews and take a picture of it.
Send it to me.
Let me know that you got it,okay, I love that.
Speaker 1 (51:17):
So you provide a lot of insights and lessons in there
.
So just kind of share like whatwas the, what was the drive to
create this, and then what isyour intention for what people
should gain out of it?
Speaker 2 (51:33):
So as far as the book , it's kind of like everything
else that's happened in mycareer was an opportunity that I
had gotten from my publisher.
They reached out and basicallywas like hey, lolo, we're fans
of you and we're a publisher, soif you ever have an idea to
write a book, you know we wouldlove to be your publishing
partner.
And so, after doing somebrainstorming, I had realized
(51:57):
that the thing that people havealways asked me over time during
YouTube, sex life, whatever ishow do you do it?
How do you live this life?
How have you become successfulin all these different things?
And for me it's never been justlike oh, it's because I wake up
(52:18):
at 5am every day and I look atthe stock market by 5.30.
Like, there is no routine to mysuccess.
Right, there's contributingfactors that are what I do on a
regular basis.
There's habits that I do have,but as far as the initial
opportunities to the success,there was no like one way around
(52:42):
it.
But when I thought about mystory, I was like everything
that did happen for me boileddown to making a decision, and
so I wanted to write a bookabout the importance of decision
making, because if you know howto make a decision and be
(53:03):
fearless in making a decision.
You then are on track toreaching your goals and your
purpose and whatever it is thatyou're trying to achieve.
So this book is full of mypersonal experiences, sharing
the stories where I made adecision that changed the
trajectory of my life.
(53:25):
At the end of every chapter, Igive tangible tips on what the
reader can investigate withinthemselves in order to help them
make a better decision Tips onwhat to pay attention to, hats,
stuff like that.
It's not just a book where youjust read it to learn about my
(53:45):
story.
You actually are able to takesomething from it and apply it
to your life as well.
So that's what the book isabout, and that's the intention
behind it is for people to readit, apply it to their lives so
they, too, can live the livesthat they ultimately desire and
dream about as well.
Speaker 1 (54:03):
Oh, I love that so yeah you guys make sure to shut
out again, access your drive,enjoy the ride by Lolo Spencer.
So make sure you get that.
And if you grab it from Amazon,take a picture of it, buy it
right now.
After you read it, go back andleave a review.
Speaker 2 (54:22):
Right, that's right, that's right, that's right.
Speaker 1 (54:27):
No, so this has definitely been a great
conversation.
I feel like I love to havethese moments where we can have
a very authentic conversationwithout expectation, and so the
way that this was flowing hasbeen very great.
Like I said, I've had itrunning on some of my platforms,
(54:47):
so shout out to everybodythat's coming in, or anything.
But as we close this up, I havetwo questions for you, but the
first one would be you know,what advice do you have for
individuals that do representthe intersection of black in
this disability, or black anddisabled, however we want to put
(55:08):
it?
Yeah who aspire to make adifference in society and break
barriers.
So I think that that's, that'sliterally the most important
part.
So I'll just rephrase thequestion again what advice do
you have for individuals thatrepresent blackness and
disability, who aspire to make adifference in society and break
barriers, like you have?
Speaker 2 (55:29):
I would first say be sure it's what you want to do.
Have that talk within yourselfand really make sure it's what
you have to do, because I don't.
Because this is the troublewith social media is I.
I always tell people I don'twant nobody to feel obligated
that their purpose is somethingthat has to be this worldwide
(55:51):
life game changing experience.
People's purposes are affectingjust the people within their
community or just the people intheir family.
I always use Venus and Serena'sdaddy.
His purpose was to make Venusand Serena.
That's it Venus and Serena.
They did what they had to do,you know.
So I would say first, make surethat it's something you know is
(56:16):
on your heart to really do, notbecause you think it's fun, not
because you think you're goingto get a lot of benefits from it
, not because you think you'regoing to get paid or whatever
the case is.
Do it because it's somethingthat's really, really on your
heart to do.
Secondly, if that answer is ayes, put on your boots and get
to work.
That's like I mean.
(56:39):
If you are not waking up andgoing to bed every day trying to
figure out what can I do tomake the circumstances of black
and disabled people's livesbetter.
You're not working hard enough,and I hate to say it like that,
because we just talked abouthow exhausting that is and how
traumatizing that is, but thatis the truth.
(56:59):
And the only reason it has to belike this right now is because
there's still only a small groupof us who are doing it.
So the more that joins us,absolutely, the more the merrier
to make it easier for everybody.
But it's not easy to be thefirst to do it.
So when you know that and youembrace that and you own that,
(57:20):
get ready to do the work.
But what I will say is, whenyou do the work, the
opportunities are there, yep,and there are the moments of joy
and excitement and cool thingsthat you get to do, like travel
and meet people and talk tofolks and all of the things.
So there are, of course,benefits to it, but just know
(57:44):
that if you're going to do it,that it requires work and be
yourself.
Oh because you will get foundout for not being you and that
is going to be an extra layer ontop of your life that you're
going to have to fight for.
Because if you don't show upfor yourself and you show up as
(58:08):
this representation of what youthink it takes to be successful
or get brand deals, or whateverthe case is, then you're going
to suffer more than you have to,and it's already hard to live.
So just show up as yourself,show up as your niche, do the
work and you know, access yourdriving and enjoy the ride.
(58:30):
Yeah, you know so that would be,that would be my advice
straight up.
Speaker 1 (58:34):
I want to change you wish to see in the world.
But be ready for the changethat you want to see in the
world, because it's going tocome with a lot, and no great
thing comes without a test, andlife test you in many ways, and
so be ready for that, becauseyou're going to weather a storm
when you're trying to createsome type of beautiful day.
Speaker 2 (58:55):
Absolutely, and be patient, be patient, be patient,
be patient.
It's working.
Speaker 1 (59:00):
And the last thing for years because my show is
called out of the shadows andthe whole behind out of the
shadows is bringing people onthis platform that's made
amazing strides in their life,yet there is a piece of them
that they don't ever want peopleto forget.
But your success has it in theshadows.
What part of your identity thatyou always own, that you would
(59:26):
always want people to know, evenif it's still not visibly shown
today through your success.
Speaker 2 (59:31):
Oh, that's a great question.
You should have told me Um, letme see.
What is something that peopledon't know, that I don't ever
want them to forget.
Speaker 1 (59:45):
Well, maybe it started at the beginning, maybe
it was, it was more amplified atthe beginning of your your
career, but as your careerbecame more successful, there
are certain things that won'treach certain communities
because it becomes hitting.
You get where I'm coming fromnow.
Speaker 2 (01:00:01):
Oh shit, Um, that won't reach other communities
because it's hitting.
Speaker 1 (01:00:10):
Want me to give you an example.
Speaker 2 (01:00:12):
Please, right Again, give me somebody's example.
Speaker 1 (01:00:14):
I give you mine, you know.
I look at my life and my success, but a lot of people don't see
my life before my disabilityanymore, Even though for 24
years in my life I live thismindset, this street mentality.
I live a part of the communitythat I'm always empowering, but
now everyone just sees Wesleyfor the 11 years I've been
(01:00:35):
disabled.
So I'm always having to saywell, you know what I come from
this place, this is where I'mlike, I'm standing up for a
reason, Like I always have toshare this to make sure that I'm
always going to be arepresentation to the people
that aren't me yet.
Right?
Speaker 2 (01:00:54):
Yeah, so that's what I see that.
Speaker 1 (01:00:56):
So what's been in the shadows for you, or what you're
constantly?
Oh, you know what you know.
You're so good one.
Speaker 2 (01:01:02):
There's a great one actually.
I don't want people to forgetthat I am a black feminine queen
.
I know I work a lot and I knowI can talk aggressively and I
know that with my disability andthe work that I do, I am
constantly in my masculinebecause I have to work, work,
(01:01:24):
work, fight, fight, fight forwhat it is that I'm trying to do
.
But don't ever forget that I'ma black feminine queen first, so
treat me as such.
I want my doors opened, I wantmy bills paid for.
I want it and I'm saying itaggressively with my neck and
everything else.
But I mean, don't fuckingforget it.
(01:01:47):
Don't forget that I cry a lot.
Don't forget that I hurt.
Don't forget that I want to beloved.
Don't forget that I want to becherished, that I want to be
cuddled and held and wind anddined and seen as this beautiful
(01:02:07):
sexual being as well.
Don't ever forget that.
Like I know, it gets lost inthe softest of times, but that
that would be my thing.
Don't ever forget that shit.
Speaker 1 (01:02:18):
And that's one of the most powerful responses that
I've gotten.
So thank you, Lolo, for that.
Speaker 2 (01:02:23):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (01:02:24):
Thank you for being a part of the show, of course,
and everyone that was watching.
We truly appreciate you Untilnext time.
Bye y'all, such good stuff.
As we conclude anotherinspiring episode, I want to
remind you that success isn'tjust about the spotlight.
It's also about the shadows.
(01:02:45):
It's about the struggles weconquer, the unseen battles we
fight and the silent victorieswe claim.
I'm Wesley Hamilton and you'vebeen listening to Out of the
Shadows podcast, where weilluminate the stories of often
left untold.
Join me again next week as weventure back into the shadows
and bring another amazingindividual into the light.
(01:03:06):
Until then, remember, no storyis too small to inspire.
Keep fighting, keep winning andstay out the shadows.
In a world where success often steals the
limelight, the stories thattruly inspire, that truly matter
, are left behind in the shadows.
I'm your host, Wesley Hamilton.
Welcome to the Out of theShadows podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
When you're constantly working from that
space of fight, fight, fight,fight, fight, work, work, work,
work, work.
You know, shout out to Rihanna.
It's like damn, when do we getour opportunity to chill?
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Yo, what's up everybody.
This is Wesley Hamilton and I'mexcited for another episode of
Out of the Shadows.
I'm your host and I'm here withour guest today, which is
Lauren Lolo Spencer, who is adisability lifestyle influencer,
award nominated actress, modelcontent creator and a true
(01:05):
change maker.
She's a great friend of mineand I think that today's
conversation is just going to bepretty dope, so let's welcome
Lolo.
What's up?
What's up?
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Can you all?
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Yes, you know, lolo.
So this conversation todaywe're really going to just dive
into some of the things that meand you talk about a lot, and
that's the intersection betweenblack and disability.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
And so, of course, before we dive into our
conversation and become a littledeep about it, I have a little
icebreaker and it's kind ofsimilar to everybody's.
But if you could have asuperpower for a day, what would
it be and why?
Speaker 2 (01:50):
You know, I think I ask that question a lot and for
some reason, I don't know why,this is always the answer.
It's super dumb, but like Iwant to have super strength.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
I want to have super strength For some reason.
I just want to just know whatit's like to knock somebody out
and just turn up in a brawl orsomething and just be like wow.
I just want to know what that'slike and then go like twerk at
the club afterwards.
(02:28):
That would be the blend of it.
Super strength and twerkingabilities.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
But if you super strength and then you try to do
the twerking, you might end upbreaking whatever object you
hold in.
You know the man.
You'd be on a sink.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
That is a big fact.
Controlled super strength thatwould be the superpower.
Controlled super strength, soout of hand, but you know it's
still there if I need it.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
See, I like that already.
See how we just kind of addedstrength in with twerking.
See, that's why thisconversation needs to be
important, right?
So you know, a lot of peopleprobably don't know your
personal journey and I'm a firmbeliever of allowing that to
flow organically with the end.
(03:14):
I would like for you to share abit of yourself so people can
understand.
I guess people can understandyour identity when it comes to
being black and disabled.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
Yeah, well, I mean, my journey started with
disability.
I would say my journey startedwhen I was 14.
That's when I was diagnosedwith ALS.
Since then, my diagnosis hasbeen up for question.
So I kind of just like to givemy disability an overall
umbrella of like musculardystrophy or something along the
(03:46):
lines of that, because I'm ahuge, huge believer in the power
of words.
So when I say I was diagnosed,that's very intentional for me,
because I don't want to say Ihave, because then that takes
ownership and it's just like,well, if this ain't what it
really is, I'm not going toclaim something on that may not
be true.
So that's where my journeystarted with disability, and I
(04:07):
really really didn't learn theintricacies or the complexities
of what it means to be part ofthe disabled community until I
started really doing my own workas an influencer and YouTuber
in 2015, with my YouTube channelsitting pretty, and so I had
recognized, like, when it wastime to do my YouTube channel
(04:30):
and I was doing research on,like well, what other disabled
influencers exist, I was like yo, everybody's like mad, sad and
boring and they've got this liketone in their voice.
I was like, yeah, so my lifewith the disability.
Today it's really hard and Iwas just like yo son, like
nobody is going to like want tofuck with us if this is how we
(04:55):
see ourselves.
And so I was like okay, I'mgoing to flip that all on his
head.
I'm going to show me turning upand going to the clubs.
I'm going to show me drunk.
I'm going to also show therealities of it to me, crying
about you know, my fears aroundmy disability.
But also, like if I was toshare a vulnerable moment like
that, I'm also going to sharewhat I do like about my
(05:17):
disability.
So I had a video about what Iwas afraid of and then about you
know what I thought were thebenefits of having a disability.
So the more I did work as anadvocate, that's when I started
noticing more about the effect,being at the intersection of
(05:37):
being a black woman with adisability and how that was
different when it started comingdown to the moolah, when it
started coming down to thebusiness opportunities that came
as a result of the work I wasdoing.
That's when I started seeinglittle things of like now wait a
(05:58):
minute, why is this particularperson getting all of these
deals when you know I'm overhere trying to get the same
opportunity.
Now, listen, I'm a firmbeliever in whatever's for me is
for me.
But I did start to notice, Idon't know, black people are
part of this campaign with adisability, or this group of
(06:22):
people are the leading, you know, representation of disability,
but where are the black folksover there?
Where are the other people ofcolor?
And then that's when I startedrecognizing, like, okay, the
intersection of both and theexperiences in each really,
really make them different.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Yeah, because you think about like you think okay,
now I'm a part of disabledcommunity.
All these things are happeningwithin the disabled community,
all these opportunities,representations happening, boom,
boom.
I'm part of the community, I'mgonna be in it, right?
Yeah, and when you like, whoa,like?
They haven't even acceptedpeople of color yet within this,
(07:08):
this industry, within thisorganization or whatever.
So, even though I'm disabled,I'm now kinder, because I'm
black too.
Yeah right, and so it's like it,kind of.
It becomes this double,double-edged sword, in a sense
like man, I'm advocating on oneside for every one, but then on
(07:32):
the other side I'm not beingadvocated for for who I am
outside of this disability.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Exactly.
But on the flip side, though,being black and disabled, we got
to talk to our black calendarparts as well, because the
relationship to disabilitywithin the black community is
also really faltered, becausewhenever you see the sketches,
we're always the butt of thejoke.
(08:01):
It's always the the the comedysketch of a comedian and their
friend in the wheelchair andthey're pushing the wheelchair
but they hit a bump and then theperson in the wheelchair falls
out, and then that's the joke,and it's just like but that
ain't really funny.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
So you know, I mean, but you, you actually, I mean
that's great that we can.
We can kind of weave into that,because of course, we're going
to talk about some of you knowthe amazing success that you
have have had in arepresentation that you've been
able to put on for yourself.
That inspires a lot of peoplethat are in your position.
And then, of course, you wrotea book, so we got to talk about
(08:44):
that as well.
But I think when we are talkingabout the intersections of
blackness and disability, it isimportant to speak on.
Okay, yes, we started aconversation of the lack of
representation and opportunitiesfor individuals that intersect
with both, but there's a deeperproblem when it comes to the
(09:07):
black community and the blackcommunity acknowledging
disability as a whole.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Yes, right, yes.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
And so maybe let's emphasize, let's, let's talk
about that a little bit, because, you know, when we're seeing a
lot of our advocates, everyone'skind of attacking this, this
area, attacking this one, andthe attacks are normally on on
another side of the.
You know the color spectrum,right?
Yeah, yeah, from a collectiveconversations that we've had,
(09:36):
we've talked about this andwe've talked about, you know,
the barrier.
So let's you know what do youthink is probably the biggest
issue within a black communitywhen it comes to accepting
disability?
Speaker 2 (09:49):
Oh, boy, okay, I'm trying to figure out how I'm
going to word this.
I think, because of the historyof black people in America,
right, to achieve anything, wewear it with much pride.
Right, anything we ever create,we are the most proud, prideful
(10:14):
people in the world.
Right?
Because, granted, everythingwas stripped away from us and we
had to rebuild, and even in therebuilding there was
destruction along the way, right?
So I think, because of thatpride of who we are, how we show
(10:38):
up, how we want to show up,comes into play when you have
the overall society.
This has nothing to do withblackness the overall society
not accepting the existence ofpeople with disabilities.
When a black person shows upwith a fault or something that
(11:03):
is deemed unperfect, orsomething that there's not an
understanding of, something tobe proud about, like, why should
I be proud of the fact that youknow, in your case, I got shot?
Speaker 1 (11:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
There's nothing about that that should be prideful
according to society, right?
What is there to be proud offor being a wheelchair user?
We can't find the pride in that.
So there is no acceptance ofour existence in that space
(11:42):
Because we have to fight all thetime.
That it's like.
Why would we fight for thesepeople who are already in a
fucked up position?
Basically, it's the attitude.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
So I and I think again, because of just history,
we are a group of people thatbelieve that we could pray
everything away.
And there's that whole thing ofyou.
Oh, just pray the way he good.
Ain't nothing wrong with him.
We don't.
We're too prideful to admitthat something is actually going
(12:19):
on, from down to black men notgoing to the doctor, to black
women showing up to the doctorsand not getting the treatment
they deserve, because that's awhole thing within itself.
When something is quote unquotewrong, there's this attitude of
(12:41):
avoidance because we have tofigure everything else out and
find some sort of break or joyor pride in that.
Does that all make sense?
Speaker 1 (12:55):
No, like seriously, when you, when you put it like
that, I mean no, that's true,because you know society, like
you said, as a whole alreadysees disability as a problem,
right, and when you have a groupof people in a community, the
black community, that is stillchasing and trying to find an
identity due to stereotypes inany quality, all of these other
(13:18):
things, I've always felt like,you know, the mindset is I don't
have space to accept somethingelse when I'm still trying to be
accepted and or just normalize,like we just want to live a
life of normalcy where we canride in our cars and not be
afraid of getting pulled over.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
We just want to know what that experience is like.
We want to know what it's liketo go into a bank.
Show our proof that we are goodbusiness owners and we have
income and get along.
We want to know what that'slike and we don't.
So kind of.
(13:59):
Exactly what you're saying iswe ain't got time to also figure
out this part.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Yeah, yeah because I'm still, I'm still struggling.
There's not a lot ofgenerational success within
black community.
So when you have, you know thegenerations before you, still
trying to find a way.
It becomes that you're ahindrance more than you know a
blessing when it like.
So, just from my experience,like once I got injured and went
back into my life, I did feellike I was a burden on everyone
(14:29):
because nobody prepared for whatI was dealing with.
You know, even my communitylacked access for me to be able
to, to thrive, and so, again,those were.
Those were areas where I thinka lot of people are going back
to their communities.
But, you know, for the blackindividual that has the
(14:50):
disability are facing a lot ofother barriers as well as like
internalized trauma in a sense,because of just the things that
are around now and the lack ofacceptance is kind of like.
I've always told people that,living with my disability, for a
while I started to like reflecton my past and part of that
(15:14):
reflection, part of thatreflection, made me visualize
all the people that's been in mylife with a disability, but
they have accepted it in a sensethat they didn't embrace it,
they accept and pushed it off soyou could see someone I mean,
I've had multiple individualsthat I've known that have
encountered and they had aphysical disability but like,
(15:37):
yeah, they live the normal lifeand you find a way to just kind
of push it off, but embracing isdifferent, and embracing is
allowing people to know that youown it and that this is.
This is me.
This is me.
This is what I represent, ontop of what else I represent.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
And you didn't see a lot of people embrace it.
And so when you know, say, forindividuals like you and I, it
comes a place where you kind ofcome into the space and you want
to do you embrace it.
Yeah, and if I do embrace it,well, now I will, I be accepted,
because if I'm only a part ofthis one community that I feel
(16:18):
comfortable in, because,regardless of what, I'm still
black, so I love music, I lovethe culture, right, and so I
want to be involved in a culture, but then a culture isn't
involved within me, yeah.
So, and then, before we evenpass that, I do want to share a
little bit, like when you talkabout the history and people
have to understand to thataround slavery time, anyone that
(16:44):
was different and had adisability, that was black,
wasn't useful.
So you think about it from thatperspective is definitely
something generationally beenbeen built into us, because if
we weren't useful, there's a Idon't know how true it is they
bet it's to the, to the, to thealligators, you know, and and I
(17:06):
did like that where they justkind of pushed you off because,
again, you couldn't, youcouldn't work, labor, and so
yeah so that also.
We talked about generationaltrauma.
Well, that's, that's a layer ofthat trauma.
You know, yeah, well, you'renot useful.
Yeah, you don't have theability.
So, as we're growing,segregation was just done 50
(17:27):
years ago, so you have to thinkabout that too.
Where are the black disabledindividuals around that era that
I can visualize that wasactually living and thriving?
You know, yeah, and we've hadconversations with some of our
old geez and learn stories ofindividuals with CP having to,
you know, kind of scoot it andto it, in a sense, to get on the
(17:50):
buses or when you have to walk,mouse right.
So all of these things havebeen barriers for disability as
a whole, when it comes to schoolsystem, history, all of that.
But when you have that extralayer of identity which makes
you different to everyone else,now this a hindrance.
(18:11):
So just kind of wanted peopleto understand that it does go
deeper than just 2020.
And what's now?
It goes deeper to.
Well, when did you ever seeblack representation of a
disabled body in the hospitals?
Yeah, in the medical books,anywhere that you felt like,
(18:34):
okay, right, like you didn't.
What you see us now and I say usbecause it low, low me and a
few other handful of people thatthey grab and taking our
pictures, right, but before thatyou had a lot of people
searching for the person thatthey were supposed to become,
and that's the representation,because it failed us so long.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
Yeah, no, and that's big facts.
I mean, you know, even incertain interviews people have
always asked me like well, whenyou were newly diagnosed as a
teenager, like who did you haveto look up to?
To you know, feel good aboutyourself?
Or to you know who did you haveto look up to?
And I was just like nobody,nobody with the disability at
(19:19):
least, like I would see, likethe Raven Simons and Kyla Pratt
and stuff like that, and be likeoh, that's key palm or like
that's cool what they're doing.
I feel like my personality islike theirs, I love them, but I
know they didn't move around inthe same way that I did.
And again, I think even at ayoung age I didn't even fully,
(19:41):
fully grasp the concept of whatit meant to have a disability at
14.
All this shit didn't reallycome to me until I was an adult.
But I think that's also alsothe other thing about it is,
like you said, even with us notbeing useful back then.
That's when internalized ableismkicks in twice as much, because
(20:06):
we talked about internalizedableism within the disability
community.
But I feel there's a certainlevel of internalized ableism
when you are a black person,because there's this, this idea
that constantly gets brought up.
We have to work twice as hard,twice as much, be twice as
(20:27):
talented to get just the the,the equal amount of, you know,
whatever our white counterpartsget right.
So there's this constant,constant proving of our worth
Constantly as black people,especially as black women.
(20:49):
And then you add in disability.
So when you're constantlyworking from that space of fight
, fight, fight, fight, fight,work, work, work, work, work,
you know, shout out to Rihannait's like damn.
When do we get our opportunityto chill and know that
(21:11):
everything's gonna be all right?
Speaker 1 (21:13):
Yeah, probably never.
Unfortunately, we're settingthe tone for the generations
after us.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
You know we're gonna have to Then literally, that's
what we're doing this for Likethis has nothing to do with us.
This is for all the generationsafterwards, and by that time
Lord knows that there's gonnajust be robots.
But I don't know.
I know right I'm not gonna goin that direction.
That's a different tangent, butyes.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
That's an AI taking over our lives, but they have no
color, right Like they have nocolor?
Speaker 2 (21:41):
They have no color.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Okay.
So I really like us emphasizingthe history lesson here,
because I do want people to know, even looking at the title and
knowing that we're about to havea conversation on blackness and
disability, that we're nottrying to be able to say this is
a black and white thing.
When it comes to blackness anddisability, it's a human issue
right now.
(22:03):
Yeah, it's everywhere.
Like for me just to emphasize,I was on a recent episode of
Queer Eye for a second time andI got to meet a young man that
is in a wheelchair from a caraccident and he emphasized in
this meeting me and him had thatbecause he's in a wheelchair,
most people think that he wasshot Just in a wheelchair.
(22:26):
So, again, like when I say, ahuman issue, there is so many
cultures that literally pray onour downfall, in a sense, and
visualize it.
When you see someone that isdifferent, you see some
wheelchair and you already thinkthey were shot, not because
they told you they were shot,but because of the lifestyle
that you perceive they live.
Speaker 2 (22:47):
Right.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
Like in states, but you can see your family member
and be like oh no, he was in acar accident.
No, well, I was in a caraccident too.
You know what I mean Like, andit's that perception that I find
.
And when I go out and travel,you get to see how other
cultures see you and yourdisability.
By the way you're treated fromthem Right, and I always tell
(23:09):
people that I learned more abouthow I'm seen as a black
disabled man just by the waysociety treats me Right.
If I'm driving far and I go,pull up into an accessible
parking spot.
You see what I said accessibleparking spot.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
That part.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
I'm most likely to get cussed out or for someone to
be belligerent or not evenallow me to park because I don't
look disabled enough.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
Yes, ooh, we're gonna go there.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
And so, when you think about it, how are you able
to accept other cultures andother people with disability?
But a black person needs tolook a certain type in order for
me to consider them to bedisabled, Right?
That's also a barrier that Ifeel like a lot of people get.
So it's either you alreadyperceive what has happened to
(24:02):
the individual or they don'tlook up to par.
So, like you said, you're goinginto a space and they probably
deny you or offer their ownself-perceived opinions and of
you not because, oh, you gave onpaperwork and they're like
you're not disabled, but whyaren't you?
Because you haven't visuallyseen it enough.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
Right.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
See, it goes back to the lack of representation.
So me and you, as well as therest of the community, are going
through these multiple layersof barrier.
Yeah, but let's go to the nextthing.
So, with all of these layersthat we have, all of this fight,
fight, fight.
Lolo, you're fighting, okay,and you Listen to that.
(24:50):
At the end of the day, like youknow, I want you to share your
experience when it comes to theinfluence that you've placed
within the entertainmentindustry, like you've been
nominated for awards, when itcomes to acting your own text
lives of college girls.
That's on HBO right now and ifyou guys have not watched it,
(25:10):
lolo is a pure authentic beingon this show.
It is so good and she gets tocome in rolling and disability
to me and you can share it in aminute.
But for me, when I watch it,it's not emphasized, it's just a
part of you and that's theother part, and you get to be
(25:32):
able to like what was it?
I'm not gonna share it all, butI Okay, I was rolling in and it
was like a nude party orsomething.
I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Y'all have to make you party.
Speaker 1 (25:44):
It was something.
It was so fun and I didn't seeno good, so okay, so just like.
Well, this was definitely a TVshow, but it really made me feel
good that even you were a partof that.
You know what I mean, yeah, andyour character was like come on
, let's go Like you know thatkind of set the tone.
So you know, share that as wetalk about all these barriers.
(26:08):
You know your success on HBO,your success in certain films
and even the work that you'redoing now and even been on a
Disney show, right, yeah.
Disney movie.
So I just want you to share alittle bit of you know how does
that feel.
But also, what do you plan todo with the platform to make
sure that your work doesn't getforgotten?
Speaker 2 (26:29):
Absolutely.
So.
You know, this kind of goesback to what I was saying
earlier.
It's like I'm a firm believerof whatever is for you is for
you right, and I will say that Iknow what works for me is
because I am my authentic self,like the way me and Wes are
(26:53):
talking right now is how me andWes would talk wherever we're at
.
Okay, I was gonna say more, butI was like now I don't want
people to know where we live.
But you know, it's who I am,it's how I'm always shown up,
and because of my extrovertedspirit, I feel like you know
(27:14):
people like my personality andso I use it to my advantage to
represent being black anddisabled.
And so, even when I startedacting so I was doing YouTube
first, and as a result of thepopularity that I was, you know,
gaining on YouTube, I got theopportunity to audition for an
(27:37):
indie film, give Me Libertywhich, by the way, everyone
needs to go watch it becauseit's a phenomenal film.
I got the role, but it wasabout two years before we
actually ended up filming it,like that's traditional for
indie films.
But when I was debating onwhether or not I wanted to take
on the role, I had some realconversations with some friends
(27:58):
and everything else and Irecognized that to be in a film
where I was a lead character wasway more important than my own
fears or reservations aroundwhether or not I can actually do
the job as an actress, becausemy agent before Give Me Liberty.
(28:20):
I had never acted before Like Idid little funny sketches on ADD
and stuff like that, but likereal acting lines, intentions.
I had never in my life donethat.
But I had told myself.
I said it's more important forpeople to see a young black
woman in a powerful rolestanding up for herself,
(28:45):
advocating for herself and doingit in a way that is justified,
based on the context of thestory.
I'm not gonna tell the story,but based on the context of the
story, it's more important tosee that than it is for me to
punk out and be like am I a goodactor?
So everything that I've done upuntil this point has always
(29:06):
been about the importance of therepresentation and I make it
very clear with any project thatI work on.
This is how I show up, this ishow I'm going to be.
There's this part of the storythat I don't feel is authentic
to the disabled community, orthere's this part of the story I
(29:28):
don't feel a black woman wouldrespond like this.
So it's being able to havethose conversations with your
producers, with your directorsto and your writers to say, hey,
this ain't it.
And because I know I have thekind of personality that isn't
afraid to say that, it's evenmore important for me to take
(29:50):
advantage of the opportunitiesthat I can so that way I can
make sure that I'm not onlyspeaking up for myself, but I'm
speaking up for the viewers whoare gonna end up watching this.
I'm speaking up for the actorsto come up behind me next and
the ones that are rightalongside of me doing it at the
same time that I'm doing it.
So I want to make sure that I'mhitting all of those points.
(30:14):
So, with the opportunity ofsomething like Sex Lies, the
thing that drew me to thecharacter was the fact that they
wrote it in a way that hadreally nothing to do with her
disability, but they never shiedaway from the fact that she
shows up in a wheelchair, and soI had conversations with our
(30:35):
showrunner, justin, and talkingto my agent and the people on
set about accommodations andaccessibility and all the
different things, because I knowI'm not showing up just to be
an actress and one day talentwith disabilities will be able
to show up and just act and gohome.
(30:55):
But until then, there's got tobe the people like myself and
many others right now who aregoing into these spaces saying
fix that, work on that, that'sgreat, keep going in that
direction.
Oh, y'all should have asked mefirst, but that's all right,
we're going to work this out.
Here goes the solution for that, and so with that, I
(31:17):
intentionally pick the rolesthat are authentic to the
disabled experience and with theplatform kind of, what I'm
saying is is that advocatingbehind the scenes, advocating
every time I get the opportunityto speak, because now, because
of the popularity, everybodywant to talk to me.
(31:39):
So, my boys, we're going totalk to each other, we're going
to talk about this.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
We're going to make sure we address these things and
then, with that, ultimatelyleads to live solo, the
lifestyle brand.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
Nice.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
And so, yeah, that's.
That's just where it's at.
It's just overall aboutadvocating for a better
experience, a better life, abetter lifestyle for people with
disabilities and for blackpeople with disabilities to see
themselves and know that therethere's more that we can do than
(32:17):
what anybody tells us on aregular basis.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
Absolutely, and I really like that, because you
are definitely making strides inthe things that you're doing
and you know you are anauthentic person and I think
that shows up everything thatyou do.
It can be something that mostpeople feed into, because when
you're thinking about disability, sometimes people don't know if
(32:41):
they can be authentic.
Right and even with theplatform right.
Like I always tell people, youknow I'm authentic because, like
you said, I know who I am.
I'm a person that can pull up,listen in the Nipsey and then
give you a motivational speechthree hours later.
Speaker 2 (32:58):
Like.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
I know who I am and I own that and what I, what I
practice is what I preach, yeah,but I can never, I can never
shy away from being that visualrepresentation to that young man
or woman coming from thecommunity that I came from, and
so you know, there's not enoughpeople doing it.
Where that you can, you canshelter your identity, or you
(33:19):
should, yeah, right, like youshouldn't shelter your identity
because if if so, then you getput into a bubble that really
doesn't include theintersections of who you are.
Right, right, and that's thepart that we're talking about is
, like you know, most peoplehave to see disability for more
than one lens.
Speaker 2 (33:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:39):
And when you see it from more than one lens you
actually now are serving more.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
Yes, and that's why I love like voicing the character
of Jazzy on Firebirds, theDisney plus animation, because
we don't talk about enoughChildren representation, black
children with disabilities beingrepresented.
So when I got the opportunityto voice Jazzy, again she's a
(34:07):
spunky girl, she's got beautifulcurly hair and all these
different things, and again it'snot about her disability, it's
about her imagination, about howfun of a personality she is,
how much she just loves herbrother and that relationship.
That was important to show upfor as well, because to me it's
(34:28):
the children are our future.
Speaker 1 (34:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:30):
Teach them well and let them lead the way.
It's that, that's we have to.
Also, as adults, make surewe're we're taking care of our
babies, too, with disabilities,because we don't talk about that
enough either.
And so, yeah, I'm sorry totouch you off, but I had to.
Speaker 1 (34:49):
No, because I think, I think I was literally this
morning thinking about that.
You know, thinking about howmany children live with
disabilities that are that arecoming from the black community,
yet you still don't have apowerful visual representation
of that.
Yeah, you know, and yeah, sothen it goes back to why isn't
(35:12):
the black community acceptingcertain things like disability?
Well, you know, if you're aparent that has a child with a
disability, you probably don'teven know the resources that are
out there because they haven'tshared them with you.
So you kind of get into a modewhere you're empowering your
child based off of what you know, and some that's even
(35:33):
sheltering.
And again, it's because now youjust try and make sure that
they're safe, protected and allthese other things.
And so I think that now you, Ilike your direction and I like
the fact of emphasizing thatchildren do need to see that
representation, because alldisabilities aren't physical,
right?
Yeah, and within the blackcommunity, we face a lot of
(35:54):
individuals that are dealingwith autism, something that you
know it's, it's, it's, it'smulti to especially like, even,
as a lot of people are, you know, sharing the mental health
issue.
So you know, at PTSD, depression, anxiety, all of these, I was
just about to bring it up beingblack, not knowing that you can
(36:16):
get to therapy, not evenunderstanding therapy, and then
having a disability where peoplestill don't really want to
serve you because you have somany layers of trauma.
Yes, so you can be served frommy disability, because I'm going
to tell you I might be feelingsome talk away about this black
man that just got shot on TVyesterday, and are you going to
(36:36):
talk to me about that too,because it's triggering my
disability.
Speaker 2 (36:41):
Exactly, exactly.
You know, and you know I've hadconversations with my own
therapist.
You know, sometimes I feel likedamn, but I just don't too much
honor because I'm like, youknow, I was kind of having this,
so it.
And that's the thing.
When we talk about self worthSelf worth is the biggest thing
that I struggle with peopleprobably think, oh no, no, so
(37:01):
confident.
Yes, I am confident in manyways, but self worth is a thing
that I have to work on everysingle like literally, wake up,
I am worthy and sometimes Iforget to say it and then my
whole day is just shit.
But you know, I was talking tomy therapist about my struggles
with self worth and I'm like,how do I find the worth within
(37:27):
myself when society says, as adisabled person, we don't see
you, we don't accept you as adisabled person, we don't want
you in here because this placeisn't accessible or you got to
go around in the back or you gotto go through an alley Up.
It's just fucking dumb.
And then when you're a blackwoman, when literally
(37:51):
statistically on dating apps,there have been reports of black
women being the least messageback on dating apps, the least
to be swiped right on, the leastto get every like if they sent
a message to get a response back.
Like, literally, when you feellike you're at the bottom of the
(38:12):
totem pole and then like alittle deeper than that, it's
like where do you?
And then, when you actually arein the world and you Are dating
or trying to build friendshipsor whatever the case is, you
then start revealing to peoplelike okay, it's a little bit
more involved than you think itis, or I need help with this, or
(38:32):
I need help with that.
And then those Relationshipsstart to get sour.
Or even being in relationships,dating, and literally somebody
telling you if you were notdisabled, there would be no
question in this, jesus.
It's like all of this right andIn like this is what I deal
(39:02):
with as an adult who issuccessful.
Then let's add on that part,I'm successful.
People Recognize me every oncein a while, like, do you add all
what I got, the money and Iain't good, nothing, I don't
know I.
It's like Lord, have mercyJesus.
Speaker 1 (39:21):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:22):
Michael be Jordan, please just show up, say Save me
please, sir, because this isgetting out of fucking hands.
And it's just like you said,it's the layer on top of layer
on top of.
I'm like, if I'm dealing withthis as an adult, how do we
start with the kids so by thetime they do become an adult,
they don't have to Struggle withtheir self-worth, they don't
(39:42):
have to struggle with PTSDbecause the environment that
they in, what do we do and whodo we talk to about these things
?
Because my therapist could onlyhelp me so much.
Speaker 1 (39:51):
Yeah, oh, that's so good.
That's that's so good, you know, because we see so much being
advocated about mental healthand things.
But you know I was.
I've shared posts recentlywhere I've talked about, you
know, having a disability and myplatform, but also just being a
(40:12):
gunshot survivor.
No one ever came to me withmental health resources at like.
I didn't even like you know.
I'm only owning it more nowbecause I've watched TV.
I'm not even a lot.
I started watching TV and it'sthis show that I would watch and
they would be breaking down allthese different symptoms from
(40:34):
like PTSD and and I'm like.
That's what that is like.
I've been successful, I've beentalking to people, but I had
never really acknowledged my owntrauma and things that I was
being triggered by because ofthe lack of assistance or
Acknowledgement to the blackcommunity.
Right, and you have adisability.
(40:56):
You don't have a lot of peoplethat are serving the mental
health space for people withdisabilities, no matter what
race you are, and and so thatalso becomes a layer, you know.
So I appreciate you sharingthat, because you know we get
back into the conversation ofkids.
If kids don't understand theirwork, then their value, if they
don't see Relationships andthings being successful with a
(41:19):
disability, you know, if theydon't.
You know you get a few onYouTube, but it shouldn't just
be a YouTube channel, it shouldbe a lifestyle.
You should see it on lifestyleinstead of.
You know, these are fiveindividuals with relationships
with disability.
Go follow them.
No, because it's it's it'sportraying a different narrative
when everyone has their ownidentity and life and so, yeah,
(41:41):
instead I just want to be out inpublic and see.
I just want to see it right andwhat that visual looks like.
I just want to see it right.
There's just people out, peopleat bars, right, like you spoke
real highly about the lack ofaccess, and you know, access is
the thing that keeps people awayfrom normalizing disability,
(42:02):
because if you're not puttingsomeone with the disability in a
space that now they cannormalize it, then what you're
saying, hey, this is for you.
So now, yeah, my able-bodiedfriends know when I'm showing up
, because that's, yeah, spacefor me, instead of me to a bar
on a late night, you know, andsaying I just want to go have a
drink and then I can go pull upand roll up to the to the lower,
(42:25):
you know, bar table in hangright, like how, yeah, why can't
it be that normal, instead ofme rolling up to the bar and
that's where all the servers use, they stuff right, I'm all
around all these extra right,like I'm around traffic, so I
can't even really enjoy myself.
Or I go to a restaurant that'snew, but all they have is tall
(42:48):
tables.
Yeah so now my food is sittingon my lap and all my able-bodied
friends think is okay to put ahot plate on your lap.
Right, like I, like I'm and I.
And I always have to tellpeople like man, like I'm not,
okay, right, yeah again, like Isaid, like when you want to
Normalize, you have to getaccess, because normalizing
(43:10):
something can happen organically, it can happen very
Authentically, by low, low,rolling in somewhere having a
good time.
That introduces someone to say,hey, you're just a normal
person, I'm about to go overthere.
But if only see you at thegrocery store or only see you at
the hospital, or you right, I'mthinking there's something
wrong with you and maybe that'stoo much for me to be a part of
(43:34):
the conversation, right?
Speaker 2 (43:35):
Yes, yes, exactly there.
There hasn't been enough socialrepresentation For people with
disabilities to show up tocertain places, go to certain
things.
Like I know there's like someparties that I go to and they'll
post me and I'm like, okay,cool, like y'all trying to let
people know we good over here,it's a safe space here at these
(43:59):
parties, so we love that.
But you know, I think in ingeneral, you know, it's like
even something as simple as likea Starbucks.
It's like, yeah, you get in it,but can you really stay?
Yeah, not when there's thatmuch traffic, not when there's
that many people at the tables,and you know Whatever the case
(44:20):
is.
So I just feel like, with peoplelike ourselves in the space
that we are, it can feel reallyoverwhelming because it's like
fuck, we have to talk abouteverything every step of the way
.
But I will say it's a beautifulplace to be because we get to
be the leaders and Thoughtmakers, to push and share the
(44:44):
narrative.
The challenges is making surewe get the fucking credit.
People have invented everythingthat everybody likes, has
invented everything thateverybody uses and we don't get
(45:05):
the credit for it.
Yeah and in the disability space.
There have been plenty of timesFor us, as black people have
shared our experiences, saidwhat we said, use certain facts
and statements that have nowbeen accredited Towards people
who ain't us.
Speaker 1 (45:25):
Yeah, we've definitely created champion D I
influencer.
You know, in our space, ourlived experiences have
definitely amplified peoplewithout the lived experiences to
be the voices for us, because,again, it goes back to the
barrier of black and disabilityand something, yeah, even
platforms.
I'm on a lot of platforms, so Iwant to speak highly about
(45:47):
LinkedIn in the sense thatthere's a lot of this LinkedIn
Disability voice text.
None of these people Okay, nicepeople are black, not to a, not
to the level of all of theother disability advocates that
are on LinkedIn that are gettingpushed out and promoted by
LinkedIn.
It's the lens that we'retalking about right now and so,
(46:10):
again, like for me, when I lookat it, I'm like okay, you know,
what efforts do we need to?
It's that fight, fight, fightagain.
Right, how much more do I needto prove to you that I can
advocate on all these differentareas, inspections?
Well, it gets back into youdon't want me to talk about my
(46:30):
experience, because you're notready for the black experience
and you're definitely not readyfor the black disabled
experience, because then itmakes people question Are there
DI efforts actually working?
Speaker 2 (46:41):
Yeah, or it makes people in the room uncomfortable
and they're like oh well,that's not the part of D E and I
we were talking about.
Speaker 1 (46:49):
It's like what in big what?
Speaker 2 (46:50):
because this is what it is.
Like the fuck you thought.
Speaker 1 (46:57):
Like it's and so our but that's.
That is what is, and theTransparency of this
conversation is for people tounderstand.
We're still fighting for thesame advantages that some people
that haven't even put up afight or getting, and you know,
and, and on top of that, livingthe lifestyles that we live as
(47:19):
Extra pressure to the dailydisability that we live with,
right, and so People don't evenpay attention to your disability
anymore Because they're onlytrying to push you.
So, like you say, like you gosomewhere and you stress to your
bodies aching over that noone's Empathetic to be aware of
that, so they just think yeah.
(47:40):
They think you have that superstrength that you spoke about at
the beginning and you yeah, yousupposed to have it for your 18
plus hours.
While you sitting up.
I'll tell people like man, didyou just?
Did you sit down for 12 hours?
They have.
I seen you get up five, sixtimes to stretch.
Normally, when I see aable-bodied person come to me
(48:00):
like, oh, I got a stretch, I'mlike man, you could have kept
that to yourself.
Speaker 2 (48:05):
Yeah, right, and I think.
I think that's the thing islike.
It's always like just picking achoose and a what of what can
we say?
When do we say this?
When should we share that?
Who do we share that with?
And it's, it's.
It is really exhausting,honestly it is, but it is again
(48:28):
a very.
The way I look at it is like man, it's never easy to be the
first there you go there you goNever easy to be the first, and
I just have started to Embracethat fully and really, you know,
take that on fully and and Ifeel like too, when it comes to
de and I Stop talking to theblack people.
(48:51):
Talk to the white folks.
We know what it's like to beblack.
We know what.
We know, this information, stoptalking to us yeah, I do like.
I think that's the other partabout de and I.
That sometimes a lot of thesebrands and businesses miss Is
like they want it to be thisfull, inclusive conversation.
(49:12):
No, if the conversation isabout disability, this
conversation needs to be a townhall or a panel discussion with
disabled folks, with disabledfolks, and there should be no
other disabled people in theroom.
There should be Neither but notdisabled people in there to
(49:34):
Understand it.
If we're talking aboutblackness, have everybody in
there take these courses.
You want to take a quit?
The same way, we got to take aquiz on what to do when there's
a fire.
We're working in corporatebecause I worked in corporate
when we got to take thosequizzes.
God damn, it don't in the quizAbout being black and whatever
(49:55):
and give it to the people thatain't black Because I'm.
The fuck is going on.
Stop telling me what theproblem is.
Yeah, I don't.
Care because I'm already livingit.
Yeah let's help me to be araise from being black.
Don't talk to me.
Speaker 1 (50:15):
I mean, and you know, it's just like reliving a
disability story, right, likereliving your trauma of however
it happened.
If it was something traumatic.
It's like when you have toconstantly hear these black
stories that you're living everyday.
It's, it's in a, in a way, islike a system that's created to
keep you constantly traumatizedor defeated, right and so.
(50:38):
But you know you said somethingthat was really good, where,
you know, not only did you share, you know it's hard being the
first, but you spoke about, youknow, creating the, the proper
narrative that can lead and helpand influence Other people,
like you or not.
So let's, let's talk about thebook.
You know the book title accessto drive and enjoy the ride.
(51:00):
And it is on all platforms.
You can find it on amazon,right?
Speaker 2 (51:04):
Yes, so go on amazon, buy it now and then, when you
read it, go back to leave areview because we need those
reviews and take a picture of it.
Send it to me.
Let me know that you got it,okay, I love that.
Speaker 1 (51:17):
So you provide a lot of insights and lessons in there
.
So just kind of share like whatwas the, what was the drive to
create this, and then what isyour intention for what people
should gain out of it?
Speaker 2 (51:33):
So as far as the book , it's kind of like everything
else that's happened in mycareer was an opportunity that I
had gotten from my publisher.
They reached out and basicallywas like hey, lolo, we're fans
of you and we're a publisher, soif you ever have an idea to
write a book, you know we wouldlove to be your publishing
partner.
And so, after doing somebrainstorming, I had realized
(51:57):
that the thing that people havealways asked me over time during
YouTube, sex life, whatever ishow do you do it?
How do you live this life?
How have you become successfulin all these different things?
And for me it's never been justlike oh, it's because I wake up
(52:18):
at 5am every day and I look atthe stock market by 5.30.
Like, there is no routine to mysuccess.
Right, there's contributingfactors that are what I do on a
regular basis.
There's habits that I do have,but as far as the initial
opportunities to the success,there was no like one way around
(52:42):
it.
But when I thought about mystory, I was like everything
that did happen for me boileddown to making a decision, and
so I wanted to write a bookabout the importance of decision
making, because if you know howto make a decision and be
(53:03):
fearless in making a decision.
You then are on track toreaching your goals and your
purpose and whatever it is thatyou're trying to achieve.
So this book is full of mypersonal experiences, sharing
the stories where I made adecision that changed the
trajectory of my life.
(53:25):
At the end of every chapter, Igive tangible tips on what the
reader can investigate withinthemselves in order to help them
make a better decision Tips onwhat to pay attention to, hats,
stuff like that.
It's not just a book where youjust read it to learn about my
(53:45):
story.
You actually are able to takesomething from it and apply it
to your life as well.
So that's what the book isabout, and that's the intention
behind it is for people to readit, apply it to their lives so
they, too, can live the livesthat they ultimately desire and
dream about as well.
Speaker 1 (54:03):
Oh, I love that so yeah you guys make sure to shut
out again, access your drive,enjoy the ride by Lolo Spencer.
So make sure you get that.
And if you grab it from Amazon,take a picture of it, buy it
right now.
After you read it, go back andleave a review.
Speaker 2 (54:22):
Right, that's right, that's right, that's right.
Speaker 1 (54:27):
No, so this has definitely been a great
conversation.
I feel like I love to havethese moments where we can have
a very authentic conversationwithout expectation, and so the
way that this was flowing hasbeen very great.
Like I said, I've had itrunning on some of my platforms,
(54:47):
so shout out to everybodythat's coming in, or anything.
But as we close this up, I havetwo questions for you, but the
first one would be you know,what advice do you have for
individuals that do representthe intersection of black in
this disability, or black anddisabled, however we want to put
(55:08):
it?
Yeah who aspire to make adifference in society and break
barriers.
So I think that that's, that'sliterally the most important
part.
So I'll just rephrase thequestion again what advice do
you have for individuals thatrepresent blackness and
disability, who aspire to make adifference in society and break
barriers, like you have?
Speaker 2 (55:29):
I would first say be sure it's what you want to do.
Have that talk within yourselfand really make sure it's what
you have to do, because I don't.
Because this is the troublewith social media is I.
I always tell people I don'twant nobody to feel obligated
that their purpose is somethingthat has to be this worldwide
(55:51):
life game changing experience.
People's purposes are affectingjust the people within their
community or just the people intheir family.
I always use Venus and Serena'sdaddy.
His purpose was to make Venusand Serena.
That's it Venus and Serena.
They did what they had to do,you know.
So I would say first, make surethat it's something you know is
(56:16):
on your heart to really do, notbecause you think it's fun, not
because you think you're goingto get a lot of benefits from it
, not because you think you'regoing to get paid or whatever
the case is.
Do it because it's somethingthat's really, really on your
heart to do.
Secondly, if that answer is ayes, put on your boots and get
to work.
That's like I mean.
(56:39):
If you are not waking up andgoing to bed every day trying to
figure out what can I do tomake the circumstances of black
and disabled people's livesbetter.
You're not working hard enough,and I hate to say it like that,
because we just talked abouthow exhausting that is and how
traumatizing that is, but thatis the truth.
(56:59):
And the only reason it has to belike this right now is because
there's still only a small groupof us who are doing it.
So the more that joins us,absolutely, the more the merrier
to make it easier for everybody.
But it's not easy to be thefirst to do it.
So when you know that and youembrace that and you own that,
(57:20):
get ready to do the work.
But what I will say is, whenyou do the work, the
opportunities are there, yep,and there are the moments of joy
and excitement and cool thingsthat you get to do, like travel
and meet people and talk tofolks and all of the things.
So there are, of course,benefits to it, but just know
(57:44):
that if you're going to do it,that it requires work and be
yourself.
Oh because you will get foundout for not being you and that
is going to be an extra layer ontop of your life that you're
going to have to fight for.
Because if you don't show upfor yourself and you show up as
(58:08):
this representation of what youthink it takes to be successful
or get brand deals, or whateverthe case is, then you're going
to suffer more than you have to,and it's already hard to live.
So just show up as yourself,show up as your niche, do the
work and you know, access yourdriving and enjoy the ride.
(58:30):
Yeah, you know so that would be,that would be my advice
straight up.
Speaker 1 (58:34):
I want to change you wish to see in the world.
But be ready for the changethat you want to see in the
world, because it's going tocome with a lot, and no great
thing comes without a test, andlife test you in many ways, and
so be ready for that, becauseyou're going to weather a storm
when you're trying to createsome type of beautiful day.
Speaker 2 (58:55):
Absolutely, and be patient, be patient, be patient,
be patient.
It's working.
Speaker 1 (59:00):
And the last thing for years because my show is
called out of the shadows andthe whole behind out of the
shadows is bringing people onthis platform that's made
amazing strides in their life,yet there is a piece of them
that they don't ever want peopleto forget.
But your success has it in theshadows.
What part of your identity thatyou always own, that you would
(59:26):
always want people to know, evenif it's still not visibly shown
today through your success.
Speaker 2 (59:31):
Oh, that's a great question.
You should have told me Um, letme see.
What is something that peopledon't know, that I don't ever
want them to forget.
Speaker 1 (59:45):
Well, maybe it started at the beginning, maybe
it was, it was more amplified atthe beginning of your your
career, but as your careerbecame more successful, there
are certain things that won'treach certain communities
because it becomes hitting.
You get where I'm coming fromnow.
Speaker 2 (01:00:01):
Oh shit, Um, that won't reach other communities
because it's hitting.
Speaker 1 (01:00:10):
Want me to give you an example.
Speaker 2 (01:00:12):
Please, right Again, give me somebody's example.
Speaker 1 (01:00:14):
I give you mine, you know.
I look at my life and my success, but a lot of people don't see
my life before my disabilityanymore, Even though for 24
years in my life I live thismindset, this street mentality.
I live a part of the communitythat I'm always empowering, but
now everyone just sees Wesleyfor the 11 years I've been
(01:00:35):
disabled.
So I'm always having to saywell, you know what I come from
this place, this is where I'mlike, I'm standing up for a
reason, Like I always have toshare this to make sure that I'm
always going to be arepresentation to the people
that aren't me yet.
Right?
Speaker 2 (01:00:54):
Yeah, so that's what I see that.
Speaker 1 (01:00:56):
So what's been in the shadows for you, or what you're
constantly?
Oh, you know what you know.
You're so good one.
Speaker 2 (01:01:02):
There's a great one actually.
I don't want people to forgetthat I am a black feminine queen
.
I know I work a lot and I knowI can talk aggressively and I
know that with my disability andthe work that I do, I am
constantly in my masculinebecause I have to work, work,
(01:01:24):
work, fight, fight, fight forwhat it is that I'm trying to do
.
But don't ever forget that I'ma black feminine queen first, so
treat me as such.
I want my doors opened, I wantmy bills paid for.
I want it and I'm saying itaggressively with my neck and
everything else.
But I mean, don't fuckingforget it.
(01:01:47):
Don't forget that I cry a lot.
Don't forget that I hurt.
Don't forget that I want to beloved.
Don't forget that I want to becherished, that I want to be
cuddled and held and wind anddined and seen as this beautiful
(01:02:07):
sexual being as well.
Don't ever forget that.
Like I know, it gets lost inthe softest of times, but that
that would be my thing.
Don't ever forget that shit.
Speaker 1 (01:02:18):
And that's one of the most powerful responses that
I've gotten.
So thank you, Lolo, for that.
Speaker 2 (01:02:23):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (01:02:24):
Thank you for being a part of the show, of course,
and everyone that was watching.
We truly appreciate you Untilnext time.
Bye y'all, such good stuff.
As we conclude anotherinspiring episode, I want to
remind you that success isn'tjust about the spotlight.
It's also about the shadows.
(01:02:45):
It's about the struggles weconquer, the unseen battles we
fight and the silent victorieswe claim.
I'm Wesley Hamilton and you'vebeen listening to Out of the
Shadows podcast, where weilluminate the stories of often
left untold.
Join me again next week as weventure back into the shadows
and bring another amazingindividual into the light.
(01:03:06):
Until then, remember, no storyis too small to inspire.
Keep fighting, keep winning andstay out the shadows.
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