March 13, 2025 • 31 mins
Steph Claire Smith is dividing her audience one sleep update at a time. The fitness entrepreneur regularly updates her followers about her three-year-old son’s sleep. However, followers are tapping out after the model complained about her toddler’s early rise, after an 11 hour stretch of sleep.
Bachelor contestant, Tahnee Leeson, celebrated her baby shower in style in Melbourne over the weekend. The lavish affair comes off the back of her baby daddy Justin McKeone, missing his second court hearing, where he’s been accused by his former employer of fraud.
Tammy Hembrow has flown 24 hours for a two-day English countryside getaway. The fitness influencer travelled solo for the all-expenses paid PR trip. And our Friday debrief.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Hello and welcome to Outspoken. It's your dose of the
hottest influencer and pop culture news twice a week. I'm
Amy Torber and coming up on today's show, Why Steph
klas Smith is Losing followers, Tammy Hembro takes London for
just two days and our Friday Debrief. But first Bachelor
contestant Tarny Leeson celebrated her baby shower in style in
(00:26):
Melbourne over the weekend. The lavish affair comes off the
back of her baby daddy, Justin McKean, missing his second
court hearing where he's been accused of stealing almost half
a million dollars from his former employer, Rocket Brands. Now
Sophie I was surprised to see Tiney celebrating in Melbourne
and not in Perth. Yeah, there has been a bit
of contention as to where the couple is actually living,
(00:46):
because back in January, it was reported that Justin was
living back in his hometown of Perth to be close
to his family and at a pitness though Twani had
ventured over to be by his side, and since Tarney
broke the news of her pregnancy, she made her instat
gram account private and she only has around six thousand followers,
which might surprise some people. She did go on The
Bachelor when it wasn't as popular. I'm actually one of
(01:08):
those six thousand people following her in my finster. Yeah,
so you have been keeping in track of what has
been going on. It's also been difficult to track exactly
where they are because Justin deleted his account following the
fraud allegations, but he has since made a super private
account with very few followers. So when Justin didn't actually
appear at his court hearing in Melbourne last week, which
(01:30):
we discussed on Friday, Amy, there was a theory that
maybe they were still in Perth and hadn't bothered to
make the journey over. And as mentioned, I do have
access to Tinese account and I have been keeping a
close eye on it, and I was pretty shocked when
all these glamorous photos popped up from the baby shower. Yeah,
because they held it at a rather upmarket Melbourne restaurant
called half Acre, and the event space is set on
(01:51):
an old timbermeal south of Melbourne. It has this beautiful
outside garden space and Tiny posted a series of photos
looking as though she didn't have a care in the world.
In one of them, she was laughing and looking to
the side whilst wearing a five hundred dollar designer gown,
and on Instagram she wrote that it was more than
just a baby shower, she said, feeling very blessed to
be surrounded by such supportive and incredible women. While not
(02:14):
all could be here today, those who could really did
make it a day. I won't forget a really massive
thank you though, to my wonderful sister Danika Jane, who organized,
set up and journeyed several hours away from her young
family to make this day so special. I'm enormously grateful
for you and everything you've ever done for me. You're
such a powerhouse of a woman, mother and sister. My
little boy is so blessed to have you as his auntie.
(02:36):
It's nice to hear that Tarni has so much support
from her family and friends, because this would be an
incredibly difficult time for her. I feel very sorry for her. Kate,
you said you were surprised to see that she had
shared so many photos from her baby shower. I wasn't
because since she's announced that she's pregnant, there has been
this attitude of sort of almost sweeping all of the
stuff to do with Justin under the rust. It's awkward
(02:57):
because Justin has been accused of stealing half a million
dollar from his former employer, and it has been documented
that he is having to live off an allowance because
whilst that money is unaccounted for, they can't allow him
to be spending money outside of his means. So clearly
Tani is probably having to pay for this or her family,
which of course is absolutely fine. She is in a
(03:17):
financial state to do that, but it does seem awkward
putting on this lavish event. I may be reading too
much into this, but I thought it was interesting that
her caption started off by saying that she was very
blessed to be surrounded by supportive and incredible women. I
understand that, but I thought she might have mentioned her
partner amongst it. Sometimes the partner rocks up at the
baby shower and they give flowers and they look like
(03:39):
the good guys that he did not turn up to
the baby shower, well that we know of, Well, he
wasn't pictured. I did find it interesting though, because when
you know when you look and they have all the
little games that people play, and he was included in
that in the sense that they said, oh, what will
you get from your parents? But at a lot of
baby showers they have baby McKean, you know the father's
name everywhere. There was no mention of the father's name anywhere. Well,
(04:01):
I suppose because they're not actually married, so the baby
might not necessarily be taking on that last name. That's true.
The theme of this baby shower was blue because we
have discovered that the couple are expecting a baby boy.
I'm surprised I didn't get a message from you, Sophie,
because every time someone has a baby these days, so
it's like another boy, Like, is anyone having girls? I
saw a TikTok which echoed my sentiment. Someone said, what
(04:23):
the hell is happening? Are women becoming extinct? Because every
single person I hear is having a boy, Even people
online are all having boys now. Tany did wear a
blue dress, which she looked beautiful in. She had blue
table decor as well as blue cupcakes and games. And
hearing that this is a baby boy, for some reason,
it made me feel sad because I was thinking about
the fact that this boy could potentially not have his
(04:44):
dad and his life growing up because while Justin is
facing civil proceedings at the moment, this has the potential
to move onto criminal charges and also lengthy jail time.
As we discussed last week, Justin's failure to appear in
court has been taken as a sign that is not
going to defend the allegations going forward. A pretty strange
move considering he has got a baby on the way.
(05:04):
You would have thought that he would have wanted to
lodge a very strong defense against these allegations. Well, the
court heard last week that Justin allegedly admitted to the theft,
So perhaps he's thought I'm just gonna save money and
not appear in court because his lawyers have also dropped him. Well,
it appears that tiny It must be in her final
trimester of pregnancy. It'll be interesting to watch this space
(05:25):
and see how the story evolves. I just got to London.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
I look crazy, like my bags under my eyes.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Tammy Hembro has flown twenty four hours for a two
day English countryside getaway. The Thinness influencer traveled solo for
the all expenses paid PR trip. Now so fans couldn't
believe she traveled all that way for just two days.
All I can say is it must be worth her
while to go on this brand trip. She's been sent
to the UK by a London makeup and skincare brand
(05:56):
called Wonderskin, So not only would they be paying for
this trip, but they would also be paying her a
massive appearance fee. And you would also think sponsorship posts
on her Instagram. Well, I'd kind of want to be
paid a big appearance fee if I was having to
travel for just two days in the Remember she's flown
over their business class or first class. I saw a
picture of a lay down bed. It's not like she's
(06:17):
slumming it in economy. Yeah, but for Tammy, she would
be used to that luxury of flying first class Like
it's probably not even a big thing for her anymore.
I would actually love to legitimately know how much she's
being paid, because there's always talk about, oh, she earns
like thirty thousand dollars for a post. I mean, to
physically get her to travel that far for two days,
is it really worth it? Like has the brand paid
(06:37):
her two hundred k or something? Yeah, but she's also
got the lure of her two younger sisters being in
London at the moment, so Starlet and Ava just moved
over there very recently. I saw everyone commenting, They're like,
why the hell would you move to the UK from Australia.
I mean, they were obviously people who live in the UK.
Her followers were pretty shocked to see that she'd only
be spending two days in the UK. One follower wrote, girl,
(06:59):
what a twenty four our flight for two nights is insane? Actually,
how are you awake? Whilst another said only two nights
is crazy now. Tammy went on to explain that the
reason that the trip is so short is because she
hates being away from her kids. Here's a bit of
what she said.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Groups like without the kids, I always go for like
the shortest amount possible. So if I'm going somewhere with
a brand or going somewhere for an a van, I literally
will always fly in and fly out. I just don't
like being away from my babies.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Do you think Matt's been trusted to look after the kids? Well,
that's what I thought was a bit unfair, because when
she initially posted that she was at the airport, a
lot of her followers are like, where are the kids?
Why aren't you with them? Who's looking after them. But
it's like a baby daddy that's off living in balley
away from exactly. I mean, she has a new husband,
it's the kid's stepdad. She also has sisters that live
(07:48):
close by. This is a legitimate work trip. Why is
she not that have two days away? I assumed that
Wolf and Saskia were with Reese's parents or Tammy's parents,
because when TAMMYA traveled in the past she said, Oh, yeah,
Saskia and Wolfer with their grandparents who they don't seem
to get to see that often, and Posey would be
with her dad, Matt Paul. How much would you guys
have to be paid to fly for two days to
(08:10):
the UK. I'd probably just do it for the experience,
if I'm completely honest, especially if I was traveling business
class for another job I did. I traveled to the
US for five days and that was including the travel days,
and it was quite hellish, but it was just an
exciting experience. Maybe you're saying this because you haven't had
to do the trek to the UK. Yeah, to the US, yeah,
it would be amazing to spend forty eight hours, for example,
(08:34):
in London. But I don't know if I could back
it up with those two flights in a row. But also,
would you feel comfortable leaving Jack at home for two
days or all the goods? Well, if it's only two days,
it's really not that long. I Also, I just feel
for female influencers though, because they get so much flak
whenever they're away from their kids. That's why I feel
like Tammy thought it was important to preface that she
was only there for a few days. Yeah. I mean,
(08:56):
in fact, the dads who will be like, oh, I'm
babysitting my kids on Saturday night because you know, the
mom's out at a fucking dinner with their friends. No,
you are not babysitting your own kids. Don't use the
word babysit. That's the thing with Tammy. She does try
and present that she's got this really strong co parenting
relationship with Matt Paul and Reee Hawkins, and it seems
to be the case with Matt Paul, But when it
(09:17):
comes to Reese Hawkins, he's literally living in a different country.
So as much as she likes to say that things
are really great between them, she needs to go on
this brand trip. She does have to find an alternative babysitter. Yeah,
and I feel sorry for her with that. That's really
not fair. And then the fact that the spotlight's on her. Oh,
where are the kids going to be? Like right there
with you? That being said, I cannot get over how
(09:37):
much Tammy's son Wolf looks like Matt Sakowski, Like if
you actually put him and also Reese, I would say
that that was Matt's skill. I can see Reece Hawkins
in him as well. I can't. This jet lag seemed
to hit Tammy really hard because she put up an
Instagram story in her hotel room when it was two am,
saying that she couldn't sleep. She tried everything, and she's
resigned herself to the fact that she's not going to
(09:59):
adjust to the time frame in two days. So she
actually ended up going to the gym. Why would you
even bother trying to adjust to the jet lag like
it was never going to happen. I would just be like, huh,
I'm just gonna wing it. Well, we go. That's pretty
much what she did, and she said it was the
right decision. She felt so good after this workout.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
I think anytime I speak about his sleep, I get
a mixture of opinions, which is obviously valid.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
Steph Claire Smith is dividing her audience one sleep update
at a time. The fitness entrepreneur regularly updates her followers
about her three year old son's sleep. However, followers are
tapping out after the model complained about her toddler's early
rise after an eleven hour stretch of sleep. Now, before
we get into it, Kate, can you provide us a
little bit of background. Yeah, So Steph has a three
(10:46):
year old son called Harvey and is thirty weeks pregnant
with her second child, and anyone who is pregnant will
know that sleep is very important at that time. I
just don't know how anybody can have a toddler and
also be pregnant, because there's someone who is thirty four
weeks pregnan. The thought of having to look after a
small child at the same time, it just blows my mind,
Like people who do that are actually super woman. It's
(11:07):
enough having a puppy dog who wakes you up very
early to go out for a week after I've had
like four testa the toilet, I'm like, oh my god.
So I do feel sympathetic for Steph. This would be time,
and on top of that, she is a co founder
of multimillion dollar fitness business Kick that she works four
days a week at Her husband, Josh, is the primary
care giver of their son, which she often cops a
lot of criticism for. Yeah, and very unfairly, I think.
(11:30):
I think people are so shocked to see a dad
actually taking on that responsibility. But in their case and
their financial situation, why wouldn't he when she's the bread
within It makes so much sense. And a lot of
people follow Josh on Instagram and TikTok as well because
previously he would share a lot of content with their son, Harvey,
and it got to the point where Harvey was being
recognized out on the streets. So we've spoken about it
(11:52):
a few times that Steph and Josh made the decision
to start blurring their three year old son's face, sometimes
in quite a comical way, because it first started off
as like a bit of a squiggle on his face,
then progressed to a blur. We recently had emojis. We
recently had some flowers and an uber eats ads blocking
his face sometimes quite a funny way, and sometimes the
(12:13):
emoji would just disappear all together, and you'd see his
face anyway, I have to say. As well as being
in Josh's content, he has featured in a lot of
Steph's content, and even though they have made these changes
to protect his privacy, he's a hot topic on her
Instagram story. We get constant updates about his sleep, about
his tantrums. Yeah, and a lot of people are confused
because they've said, well, you've kind of pointed out that
(12:35):
you want to keep him off your socials, but you're
still willing to talk about him. He is the cover
artwork for the kick Bump podcast, which I also find confusing. Yeah,
and the updates about Harvey are often quite negative and
have to do with how much sleep he has. Steph
seems to be quite focused on how much sleep she
is also getting, so she often shares screenshots of her
sleep app to show her quality of sleep. That's something
(12:58):
that should stay in your family group or a group
with friends. I don't even think family, you know, Like
sometimes you you and Mum, when you first started tracking
your sleep, you both be like, oh my god, look
what I got. I have to say, no one else cares,
you know what I mean? Like when you get your
Apple Watch, or you get your is it or a
ring or whatever it's called. You do become obsessed with it.
But I think once you have a child, I think
(13:19):
you need to throw that out. Oh yeah, you can't
start looking at And I have seen a lot of
people who used to live by their Apple Watch, Like
a lot of fitness experts say that they no longer
track it because it becomes this self serving thing, like
if you've seen you've had four hours of sleep, then
you start to get angry and you feel like it
ruins your whole day. Yeah, I mean, I've actually stopped
wearing my Apple Watch. I used to wear it religiously
(13:41):
for like the last seven years, only because it has
a screen on it, so Jack always gets distracted by it.
But as a lot of followers, anytime we'd ever post
a group photo on our outspoken Instagram account, someone would
be wearing an Apple Watch at like a fucking wedding
just triggers everyone. Yeah, it was like take that off.
Sharing about your sleep reminds me of the people that
always have to share their strap updates. It's almost like proof,
(14:03):
like look at the run I did, or look at
how little sleep I've had. Can you actually track your
walk on struggle without posting it because I just thought
you had to do so I post one all the time.
I mean the people who then go to the lengths
of then putting on their Instagram story to I mean
to be fair. Whenever you do do a run, you
feel like such a legend you go to tell everyone
about it. I think with Steph, she's wanting to share
some of the I suppose not so glamorous sides of
(14:24):
motherhood and her life to be relatable because, as you said,
she owns this multimillion dollar business she's abod so to
be relatable she kind of needs to share some of
these updates.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Well, last week there were a couple of updates that
really aggravated people. So Steph shared a photo of her
looking solemn with water splash on her face with the
caption me late last night, sitting with the guilt of
yelling at Harvey after hitting my point of overwhelmed from
no more patients. She then went on to explain that
she left the room, splash water in her face and
did a controlled breathing exercise which allowed her to reset,
(14:58):
and she finished up by saying that bedtime was rough
last night. But she couldn't be fucked to go into
the details. Now. A few days later, Steph shared another
update about Harvey's sleep, writing after six pm bedtime, half
slept through, but woke at five am ready to start
his day. I was not with the laughing face emoji,
so Josh got him up and took him for a
long walk, and I slept in till six thirty am.
(15:19):
I woke to Harvey pulling me out of bed to
show me the flowers he found me on his walk.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
Now.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
This update sparked a massive reaction in our Facebook group,
with many of our listeners admitting they've unfollowed Steph because
of her constant complaints about parenting. Now, according to Social Blade,
which tracks influencers followings, Steph has lost over two thousand,
seven hundred followers in the last thirty days. Now, I
had a look at her overall following and it has
(15:44):
taken a hit in the last year. So since January
twenty twenty four, Steph has lost almost thirty thousand followers,
and that calculation takes into consideration people who have followed
an unfollowed, so her overall following is on the decline.
Do you think that has anything to do with her
announcing her pregnancy, because I know that might sound like
a weird question, because a lot of the time, when
(16:06):
influencers announce they are having a baby, they will get
an increase in followers. But Steph Klaire Smith, a lot
of her initial popularity on Instagram was because she was
a model, So a lot of men follow Steph Klaire Smith.
So I wonder, and I think I've heard her speak
about this on the podcast before. I wonder if a
lot of those men who originally followed her were like, Oh,
I don't want to follow this pregnancy content. I'm not
(16:28):
interested in this stuff about kick anymore. Because she used
to be one of the biggest ossie influencers. I think
she was one of the first to get to a
million followers, and I think a lot of it had
to do with I don't want to say creeps, but
a lot of men who were like, oh my god,
she's gorgeous. I want to follow her for her PENI phos. Well,
if you take a look at her engagement rate on
social bladeer is surprisingly quite low, so she's sitting on
(16:49):
zero point six four percent. I did have a look
at her influence appears to put that engagement rate into perspective,
and her best friend Laura Henshaw has one point one percent,
while Janney Tunci has two point nine, Sarah's Day has
one point one five, Abby Chatfield has one point thirty seven,
and Friend of the Show Courtney Mangan has three point
three eight percent. So she is a micro influencer. So
(17:10):
it's interesting to compare that. Sometimes micro influencers have a
much better engagement rate to those half millions of follow ups.
But also you've got a think zero point six four
percent of one point four million people is a lot
higher than you know, three percent eighty thirty thousand. I
think people with larger followings in the millions often struggle
to actually increase their engagement, right, I understand that, But
(17:32):
it is still quite a low engagement rate, because less
than one percent is considered low engagement. Well, between one
and three point five is considered quite regular and good.
Between three point five and six percent is high, and
above six percent is very high. I think that people
are engaging with content differently now. I've even noticed I
feel more reluctant to like or comment on things like
(17:54):
I would never comment on an influencer's post whereas I think,
but people may direct them on which obviously leads to
engagement as well. But I've seen a lot of people
saying that they don't even want to like their own
friends shit anymore. I think that's a bit too far.
But I do think TikTok is usually a good indicator
of whether an influencer is resting on their laurels of
attracting a big following in the early days of Instagram,
(18:14):
because only one hundred and forty thousand of Steph's one
point four million followers have transferred across to TikTok, which
is quite surprising. Why do you think so many people
are up in arms about these updates about Harvey sleep Well?
I did read all of the comments in our Facebook community,
which I think give an interesting snapshot. So to summarize
the thoughts of our community. Many people think that Steph
(18:35):
doesn't have age appropriate expectations on her son, and some
also accused her of being unrelatable and tone deaf to
those who don't have a village like she does. So
to put this comment into perspective, Steph gets a lot
of support, not only from her husband Josh, who is
the primary caregiver, but also her son's grandparents, so she
often talks about them babysitting Harvey for the weekend or
(18:56):
overnight to let her sleep in. And then others criticize
Steph for sharing personal details about him, despite previously saying
that she was trying to protect his privacy by covering
his face. That is something that I do grapple with
because quite often I see Steph's content and I noticed
that she is out a lot of the times during
the week, like at an influencer event or at a concert,
which again I mean if he's asleep then whatever, But
(19:19):
is that her work as well? Well, that's the thing,
that's what would be quite complicated because in order to
be an influencer and keep connection, she would have to
go to those things, so they would be considered work.
But I think that that's maybe what rubs people up
the wrong way. A lot of mums who are maybe
stay at home mums, like, well, I don't have this
freedom and flexibility, and you know, don't you expect to
have some time where maybe he wakes you up? Do
you think it's also because Steph is the bread winner
(19:41):
in quotations and that like if you reverse the roles.
Can you imagine if there was a dad who was
out working and his wife was at home and he
was on Instagram being like, oh, I didn't even sleep
last night, and now people would be like, oh, you're
not even at home looking That is actually such a
good point. I think it's because she tries to make
her braain and also being a mother, and I think
(20:03):
that there's this terribly outdated expectation that women should be
the primary caregivers. So a lot of mums shall we
get their noses out of joint and say, well, you
don't even spend much time with them, which isn't the
common complaint about Steph. I mean, people have even blamed
her son's sleep issues because she goes to work, which
I think is completely unfair. I mean, there was a
small portion of comment as in our Facebook group saying
that they found Steph's updates very refreshing, especially those who
(20:26):
also struggle with their children's sleep, and they said it
made them feel less guilty about not being the perfect mum.
One listener also a reminder of the community that Steph
is running a multimillion dollar company while being pregnant and
a mum. I do think there is an element of
internalized misogyny at play, as much as we may not
want to admit it, I think it still is a
foreign concept for a lot of us to wrap our
(20:47):
heads around that the mother goes out to work full
time and the dad is a stay at home parent,
and maybe one that a lot of us are envious of,
because when I look at this, I currently am the
primary care giver of my son, and I'm like, jeez,
it'd be nice to get to go to all of
these events and also work as much as I want
to and then also enjoy my beautiful son. I also
think a lot of people were triggered by the fact
(21:07):
that Steph said that Harvey had slept eleven hours that night,
and she also followed it up because a lot of
people were like, well, maybe don't put him down at
six pm. Put him down a little bit later, so
then he sleeps a little bit later. But then she goes, oh,
when am I is meant to have time to spend
with Josh? And then it's like, but the kid's not
a robody, can't just fit automatically into the times that
you want him to be awake. I have to defend
(21:29):
Steph a little bit though, because I do think we
need to cut her some slack the fact that she
is thirty weeks pregnant. Sometimes when I see her putting
up her stories and she's spoke speaking about losing it
at Harvey, I get it. Pregnancy rage is real, and
it would be so difficult being sleep deprived. I mean,
as the woman your body is going through so much,
(21:50):
she's probably not sleeping. She's probably sleeping next to her
partner who's fucking snoring all not. And then she's having
to go out and slogger guts out in the gym
for kick she's working really long. I mean, Kay, you mentioned, Oh,
it seems like she's out having all this fun, but
she would be missing her child every day. She would
be experiencing mum guilt. So it's not that bizarre to
me that she would have moments where she would lose
(22:11):
it at her toddler. And I kind of respect that
she's sharing about it because a lot of mums can
feel like they relate to that. Yeah, but I think
that she opens herself up to criticism by sharing about it.
And I know you said that there is that back
to where people can be like, oh, I do that,
it makes me feel better about not being a perfect mum.
But you can't say that she's not opening herself up
(22:32):
to criticism because there's a lot of people who follow
her that don't have children, and when you don't have children,
you don't realize how much sleep actually controls your life.
I think Steph's attempt to try and remain relatable is
actually rubbing people up the wrong way. And someone who
is actually doing a good job of remaining relatable throughout
parenthood is Jade Tunci, who is also a friend of Steph.
So she often speaks on an Instagram story about the
(22:54):
difficulties of motherhood and she backs it up by then
genuinely sharing things that she loves about. That kind of
balances its way out. And Jarday shared this week about
how her nine month old keeps waking up inconsolably and
won't sleep overnight, and she apologized to her non parent
followers and said, before she had her son, she used
to find it really irritating hearing parents go on and
(23:16):
on about their children's sleep, and she said, after being
in the sleep trenches for nine months now, she totally
gets it because it just consumes you and takes up
eighty percent of your attention and rules your life. Jarday
Tunci is somebody who has really gone up in my
view of influences because I know we spoke about her
in quite a critical way when she was the betrothed,
but I think it was because we didn't get her
(23:37):
sense of humor. I've seen a completely different side to
her since she's had that podcast with her husband, and
she is quickly becoming one of my favorite influence. I
don't necessarily think we saw the wrong side of her.
I thought maybe maybe motherhood has changed her a bit,
because she was calling out a lot of that. You know,
she got in trouble for calling out a luxury you know,
honeymoon Spot. There were you know, she did do some
things that were wrong, saying everything she has done previously
(23:59):
was perfec But now I know her sense of humor,
I actually get it more. And I've heard around the
traps that she's actually one of the nicest influences at events.
She's very funny, she talks to everybody, and she wants
to unblock us so we can still follow her content.
No great, I do follow her on my finster and
I very much enjoy her content because my son is
the same does Yeah, my son's the same age as
(24:20):
her son, So I relate on that level now. On Thursday,
off the back of jar Day's update, Steph explained that
she shares Harvey's sleep updates for a little solidarity and
to make others feel like they're less alone if they're
going through a similar thing. She also said this.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
Also, this is my last story about sleep tonight today.
But I saw jar Day post about this the other
day and it made me laugh because I know that
there's people who are so over me talking about Harvy sleep.
Trust me, I've been basically doing it since the day.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
He was here.
Speaker 3 (24:54):
But I feel like the people that are over it
are the people that get to sleep at night, whether
they don't have children or they have children who have
not really had much trouble with sleeping. The people who
are over it are generally the ones that can't relate.
So next time you think like, oh, can there she
goes talking about sleep again, think how grateful am I
(25:15):
that my mind is not consumed by sleep all the time.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
Now, as a mother of a nine month old, I
can definitely vouch for Steph that sleep absolutely consumes you.
Even when your child is sleeping, you are then working
an overdrive to ensure you stick to the same routine
to make sure it keeps happening. So I totally get this,
and in saying that the f updates have still rubbed
me up the wrong way. So I suppose some of
us have to look at ourselves and work out what's
going on and why that is. Well. I saw this
(25:41):
TikTok the other day and it was saying, can we
normalize that people who don't have children and are in
their thirties and are working full time are also tired?
And that went off. I mean, I couldn't agree more.
Obviously I haven't experienced. Can we come back and see
if you agree. I'm saying, I just don't like this
tone that only people with children are tired. Yeah, other
(26:03):
people being thirty five that I have been incredibly tired
with your pregnant time, no, but working in a full
time career life. I'm not going to diminish how tired
I have previously. Okay, well, I invite you in this
time next year to see if you have a different Kate.
Kate is currently the boss or the president of the
(26:23):
Just You wait, committee. I think ultimately what this comes
down to is people want to have a winge online
and other people think that they've got it harder than Steph,
so she's not entitled to a winge. I think that
that's the summary of a situation. I also think anytime
you mention anything about parenting, everyone's going to have a
different opinion on it. Let's get into our Friday debrief.
(26:46):
Fun fact, it is our thirty six birthday today, so
if you have been spiraling about it, people on our
subs will know what we're talking about. Actually be inspiraling.
I think that's a bit unfair. I've actually said I'm
excited to turn thirty six because that was the age
i'm Princess Diana to have been, and I always thought, yes,
I know, that's the little dark bit of it. Of course,
she did pass away at that age, but I'm saying
(27:06):
that I thought it was a cool age because that
was when she was coming into her own and she
finally had her voice and she was very confident. See
that's why I think you were spiraling, because I found
that quite sick. I didn't really think about the whole
death bit, but I just thought, oh, thirty six sounds
cool because I associated with Princess Diana. Look whatever get
Sophie through her birthday without complaining. I've got a bit
(27:28):
of a share for this week that if anyone is eating,
please put your food away. I was told off for
telling this story at family dinner whilst Amy was consuming
her meal. But we had a bit of a mystery
this week because on Saturday, we walked out to go
to the car, and we've had a lot of work
going under our house. We had this pile of sand
in front of the house and I thought the neighbour's
(27:49):
dog had come over and done a big pooh on
this dirt. It turned out it was actually intestinees. So
there was an animal which had been killed by something
and they'd eaten everything but the intestines. Anyway, we thought
that this was particularly odd because we'd watched this murder
show on Netflix, and basically the whole crux of it
(28:10):
was that this murderer would string up animal intestines in
the yard as a sign that they're about to strike
and murder someone else. So we were like, oh my god,
this is so free. They were animal and testine. Well
that's what we thought. Oh, my god, is this like
a serial killer on the loose? Is this that someone
playing a perspective? For those who don't know that, you
(28:30):
live in the Adelaide Hills, so there's a lot of
wildlife around us in some suburban street guts on the front.
And we were like, only girl, we can't live in
the hills so much longer. This is gross. Fast forward
to two days later, Brannon goes out into our backyard
and finds a possum head perched on the ground, just
the head, nothing else. Thought, always someone playing a prank
(28:52):
on us? What is going on? We did a research.
It is a fox. I saw the fox last night
when I got home. It had its little white tail
in the yard. It freaked me out. Just something quite
magical about seeing foxes in the world, Like they freak
me out, but they're such majestic at mine. We're just
so sad because we literally used to have a possum
that ran past our bedroom at twelve o'clock every night.
(29:14):
I'm like, is that the puzzle? Oh? So sad? So sad.
A more positive ship, I do have a bit more
of a positive update. It said I have finally sold
my car, so I have been wheeling and dealing trying
to sell my old car on Facebook marketplace and also
car sales, and my goodness, my ad had over a
thousand views. Every man and his dog was reaching out
(29:35):
to me wanting this car. It was a Mazda to
apparently their hot property at the moment. But the amount
of time wasters has been incredible. I also am shocked
people would rock up with their mechanics to check out
the car. That's smart. It was smart. But the person
who eventually bought it, he said he wanted to do
an RAA check. So he came along this guy, like
(29:56):
this guy in his sixties with his twenty eight year
old son. The mother ca him along too, and they said, oh, yeah,
we'll do an RAA check. They never did one. They
ended up purchasing the car. Didn't they ask you if
it came in another color? And You're like, I don't
know if. Yeah. The funniest thing was, because I'm so pregnant,
I just made Dale deal with them. Also, poor Dale,
he's like six foot five. He's having to get into
(30:17):
the back of this tiny Master too to do all
of these test drives with all these fucking Randos. And yeah,
they said to dab, I'll just come in a different color,
and Dale was like, well, we've only got it in red. Well,
actually it does come in another color because I'm currently
trying to sell my Master Too as well, which comes
in black, if anyone is interested. Now having regret because
I just traded my Master Too in at the dealership
(30:38):
got like nothing for it. I told you, kay, this
is why people people just trade it in. I got
offered some pitiful amount to trade it in and I said, no,
I'm going to spell it might be fair. This has
taken about ten months, yeah, but it make quite a
bit of vecta. It's also because we haven't been bothered.
Speaker 2 (30:52):
You know.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
One of the other funny things is new the new
owner of my car said was he goes, oh, can
I do donuts? Like does it do? And my husband
was like, well, she hasn't been doing donut, but it
is red, so maybe it goes quite fast.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
Now, I think that is all we have time for today.
Thank you so much for joining us for this episode.
If you have enjoyed it, could you please make sure
you are subscribed on Apple Podcasts and Spotify And if
you do enjoy the podcast, we would absolutely love it
if you could leave us a five star review. This
episode was recorded on the traditional land of the Ghana
people of the Adelaide Planes. We pay respect to elders
(31:28):
past and present.
Hello and welcome to Outspoken. It's your dose of the
hottest influencer and pop culture news twice a week. I'm
Amy Torber and coming up on today's show, Why Steph
klas Smith is Losing followers, Tammy Hembro takes London for
just two days and our Friday Debrief. But first Bachelor
contestant Tarny Leeson celebrated her baby shower in style in
(00:26):
Melbourne over the weekend. The lavish affair comes off the
back of her baby daddy, Justin McKean, missing his second
court hearing where he's been accused of stealing almost half
a million dollars from his former employer, Rocket Brands. Now
Sophie I was surprised to see Tiney celebrating in Melbourne
and not in Perth. Yeah, there has been a bit
of contention as to where the couple is actually living,
(00:46):
because back in January, it was reported that Justin was
living back in his hometown of Perth to be close
to his family and at a pitness though Twani had
ventured over to be by his side, and since Tarney
broke the news of her pregnancy, she made her instat
gram account private and she only has around six thousand followers,
which might surprise some people. She did go on The
Bachelor when it wasn't as popular. I'm actually one of
(01:08):
those six thousand people following her in my finster. Yeah,
so you have been keeping in track of what has
been going on. It's also been difficult to track exactly
where they are because Justin deleted his account following the
fraud allegations, but he has since made a super private
account with very few followers. So when Justin didn't actually
appear at his court hearing in Melbourne last week, which
(01:30):
we discussed on Friday, Amy, there was a theory that
maybe they were still in Perth and hadn't bothered to
make the journey over. And as mentioned, I do have
access to Tinese account and I have been keeping a
close eye on it, and I was pretty shocked when
all these glamorous photos popped up from the baby shower. Yeah,
because they held it at a rather upmarket Melbourne restaurant
called half Acre, and the event space is set on
(01:51):
an old timbermeal south of Melbourne. It has this beautiful
outside garden space and Tiny posted a series of photos
looking as though she didn't have a care in the world.
In one of them, she was laughing and looking to
the side whilst wearing a five hundred dollar designer gown,
and on Instagram she wrote that it was more than
just a baby shower, she said, feeling very blessed to
be surrounded by such supportive and incredible women. While not
(02:14):
all could be here today, those who could really did
make it a day. I won't forget a really massive
thank you though, to my wonderful sister Danika Jane, who organized,
set up and journeyed several hours away from her young
family to make this day so special. I'm enormously grateful
for you and everything you've ever done for me. You're
such a powerhouse of a woman, mother and sister. My
little boy is so blessed to have you as his auntie.
(02:36):
It's nice to hear that Tarni has so much support
from her family and friends, because this would be an
incredibly difficult time for her. I feel very sorry for her. Kate,
you said you were surprised to see that she had
shared so many photos from her baby shower. I wasn't
because since she's announced that she's pregnant, there has been
this attitude of sort of almost sweeping all of the
stuff to do with Justin under the rust. It's awkward
(02:57):
because Justin has been accused of stealing half a million
dollar from his former employer, and it has been documented
that he is having to live off an allowance because
whilst that money is unaccounted for, they can't allow him
to be spending money outside of his means. So clearly
Tani is probably having to pay for this or her family,
which of course is absolutely fine. She is in a
(03:17):
financial state to do that, but it does seem awkward
putting on this lavish event. I may be reading too
much into this, but I thought it was interesting that
her caption started off by saying that she was very
blessed to be surrounded by supportive and incredible women. I
understand that, but I thought she might have mentioned her
partner amongst it. Sometimes the partner rocks up at the
baby shower and they give flowers and they look like
(03:39):
the good guys that he did not turn up to
the baby shower, well that we know of, Well, he
wasn't pictured. I did find it interesting though, because when
you know when you look and they have all the
little games that people play, and he was included in
that in the sense that they said, oh, what will
you get from your parents? But at a lot of
baby showers they have baby McKean, you know the father's
name everywhere. There was no mention of the father's name anywhere. Well,
(04:01):
I suppose because they're not actually married, so the baby
might not necessarily be taking on that last name. That's true.
The theme of this baby shower was blue because we
have discovered that the couple are expecting a baby boy.
I'm surprised I didn't get a message from you, Sophie,
because every time someone has a baby these days, so
it's like another boy, Like, is anyone having girls? I
saw a TikTok which echoed my sentiment. Someone said, what
(04:23):
the hell is happening? Are women becoming extinct? Because every
single person I hear is having a boy, Even people
online are all having boys now. Tany did wear a
blue dress, which she looked beautiful in. She had blue
table decor as well as blue cupcakes and games. And
hearing that this is a baby boy, for some reason,
it made me feel sad because I was thinking about
the fact that this boy could potentially not have his
(04:44):
dad and his life growing up because while Justin is
facing civil proceedings at the moment, this has the potential
to move onto criminal charges and also lengthy jail time.
As we discussed last week, Justin's failure to appear in
court has been taken as a sign that is not
going to defend the allegations going forward. A pretty strange
move considering he has got a baby on the way.
(05:04):
You would have thought that he would have wanted to
lodge a very strong defense against these allegations. Well, the
court heard last week that Justin allegedly admitted to the theft,
So perhaps he's thought I'm just gonna save money and
not appear in court because his lawyers have also dropped him. Well,
it appears that tiny It must be in her final
trimester of pregnancy. It'll be interesting to watch this space
(05:25):
and see how the story evolves. I just got to London.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
I look crazy, like my bags under my eyes.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Tammy Hembro has flown twenty four hours for a two
day English countryside getaway. The Thinness influencer traveled solo for
the all expenses paid PR trip. Now so fans couldn't
believe she traveled all that way for just two days.
All I can say is it must be worth her
while to go on this brand trip. She's been sent
to the UK by a London makeup and skincare brand
(05:56):
called Wonderskin, So not only would they be paying for
this trip, but they would also be paying her a
massive appearance fee. And you would also think sponsorship posts
on her Instagram. Well, I'd kind of want to be
paid a big appearance fee if I was having to
travel for just two days in the Remember she's flown
over their business class or first class. I saw a
picture of a lay down bed. It's not like she's
(06:17):
slumming it in economy. Yeah, but for Tammy, she would
be used to that luxury of flying first class Like
it's probably not even a big thing for her anymore.
I would actually love to legitimately know how much she's
being paid, because there's always talk about, oh, she earns
like thirty thousand dollars for a post. I mean, to
physically get her to travel that far for two days,
is it really worth it? Like has the brand paid
(06:37):
her two hundred k or something? Yeah, but she's also
got the lure of her two younger sisters being in
London at the moment, so Starlet and Ava just moved
over there very recently. I saw everyone commenting, They're like,
why the hell would you move to the UK from Australia.
I mean, they were obviously people who live in the UK.
Her followers were pretty shocked to see that she'd only
be spending two days in the UK. One follower wrote, girl,
(06:59):
what a twenty four our flight for two nights is insane? Actually,
how are you awake? Whilst another said only two nights
is crazy now. Tammy went on to explain that the
reason that the trip is so short is because she
hates being away from her kids. Here's a bit of
what she said.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Groups like without the kids, I always go for like
the shortest amount possible. So if I'm going somewhere with
a brand or going somewhere for an a van, I literally
will always fly in and fly out. I just don't
like being away from my babies.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Do you think Matt's been trusted to look after the kids? Well,
that's what I thought was a bit unfair, because when
she initially posted that she was at the airport, a
lot of her followers are like, where are the kids?
Why aren't you with them? Who's looking after them. But
it's like a baby daddy that's off living in balley
away from exactly. I mean, she has a new husband,
it's the kid's stepdad. She also has sisters that live
(07:48):
close by. This is a legitimate work trip. Why is
she not that have two days away? I assumed that
Wolf and Saskia were with Reese's parents or Tammy's parents,
because when TAMMYA traveled in the past she said, Oh, yeah,
Saskia and Wolfer with their grandparents who they don't seem
to get to see that often, and Posey would be
with her dad, Matt Paul. How much would you guys
have to be paid to fly for two days to
(08:10):
the UK. I'd probably just do it for the experience,
if I'm completely honest, especially if I was traveling business
class for another job I did. I traveled to the
US for five days and that was including the travel days,
and it was quite hellish, but it was just an
exciting experience. Maybe you're saying this because you haven't had
to do the trek to the UK. Yeah, to the US, yeah,
it would be amazing to spend forty eight hours, for example,
(08:34):
in London. But I don't know if I could back
it up with those two flights in a row. But also,
would you feel comfortable leaving Jack at home for two
days or all the goods? Well, if it's only two days,
it's really not that long. I Also, I just feel
for female influencers though, because they get so much flak
whenever they're away from their kids. That's why I feel
like Tammy thought it was important to preface that she
was only there for a few days. Yeah. I mean,
(08:56):
in fact, the dads who will be like, oh, I'm
babysitting my kids on Saturday night because you know, the
mom's out at a fucking dinner with their friends. No,
you are not babysitting your own kids. Don't use the
word babysit. That's the thing with Tammy. She does try
and present that she's got this really strong co parenting
relationship with Matt Paul and Reee Hawkins, and it seems
to be the case with Matt Paul, But when it
(09:17):
comes to Reese Hawkins, he's literally living in a different country.
So as much as she likes to say that things
are really great between them, she needs to go on
this brand trip. She does have to find an alternative babysitter. Yeah,
and I feel sorry for her with that. That's really
not fair. And then the fact that the spotlight's on her. Oh,
where are the kids going to be? Like right there
with you? That being said, I cannot get over how
(09:37):
much Tammy's son Wolf looks like Matt Sakowski, Like if
you actually put him and also Reese, I would say
that that was Matt's skill. I can see Reece Hawkins
in him as well. I can't. This jet lag seemed
to hit Tammy really hard because she put up an
Instagram story in her hotel room when it was two am,
saying that she couldn't sleep. She tried everything, and she's
resigned herself to the fact that she's not going to
(09:59):
adjust to the time frame in two days. So she
actually ended up going to the gym. Why would you
even bother trying to adjust to the jet lag like
it was never going to happen. I would just be like, huh,
I'm just gonna wing it. Well, we go. That's pretty
much what she did, and she said it was the
right decision. She felt so good after this workout.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
I think anytime I speak about his sleep, I get
a mixture of opinions, which is obviously valid.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
Steph Claire Smith is dividing her audience one sleep update
at a time. The fitness entrepreneur regularly updates her followers
about her three year old son's sleep. However, followers are
tapping out after the model complained about her toddler's early
rise after an eleven hour stretch of sleep. Now, before
we get into it, Kate, can you provide us a
little bit of background. Yeah, So Steph has a three
(10:46):
year old son called Harvey and is thirty weeks pregnant
with her second child, and anyone who is pregnant will
know that sleep is very important at that time. I
just don't know how anybody can have a toddler and
also be pregnant, because there's someone who is thirty four
weeks pregnan. The thought of having to look after a
small child at the same time, it just blows my mind,
Like people who do that are actually super woman. It's
(11:07):
enough having a puppy dog who wakes you up very
early to go out for a week after I've had
like four testa the toilet, I'm like, oh my god.
So I do feel sympathetic for Steph. This would be time,
and on top of that, she is a co founder
of multimillion dollar fitness business Kick that she works four
days a week at Her husband, Josh, is the primary
care giver of their son, which she often cops a
lot of criticism for. Yeah, and very unfairly, I think.
(11:30):
I think people are so shocked to see a dad
actually taking on that responsibility. But in their case and
their financial situation, why wouldn't he when she's the bread
within It makes so much sense. And a lot of
people follow Josh on Instagram and TikTok as well because
previously he would share a lot of content with their son, Harvey,
and it got to the point where Harvey was being
recognized out on the streets. So we've spoken about it
(11:52):
a few times that Steph and Josh made the decision
to start blurring their three year old son's face, sometimes
in quite a comical way, because it first started off
as like a bit of a squiggle on his face,
then progressed to a blur. We recently had emojis. We
recently had some flowers and an uber eats ads blocking
his face sometimes quite a funny way, and sometimes the
(12:13):
emoji would just disappear all together, and you'd see his
face anyway, I have to say. As well as being
in Josh's content, he has featured in a lot of
Steph's content, and even though they have made these changes
to protect his privacy, he's a hot topic on her
Instagram story. We get constant updates about his sleep, about
his tantrums. Yeah, and a lot of people are confused
because they've said, well, you've kind of pointed out that
(12:35):
you want to keep him off your socials, but you're
still willing to talk about him. He is the cover
artwork for the kick Bump podcast, which I also find confusing. Yeah,
and the updates about Harvey are often quite negative and
have to do with how much sleep he has. Steph
seems to be quite focused on how much sleep she
is also getting, so she often shares screenshots of her
sleep app to show her quality of sleep. That's something
(12:58):
that should stay in your family group or a group
with friends. I don't even think family, you know, Like
sometimes you you and Mum, when you first started tracking
your sleep, you both be like, oh my god, look
what I got. I have to say, no one else cares,
you know what I mean? Like when you get your
Apple Watch, or you get your is it or a
ring or whatever it's called. You do become obsessed with it.
But I think once you have a child, I think
(13:19):
you need to throw that out. Oh yeah, you can't
start looking at And I have seen a lot of
people who used to live by their Apple Watch, Like
a lot of fitness experts say that they no longer
track it because it becomes this self serving thing, like
if you've seen you've had four hours of sleep, then
you start to get angry and you feel like it
ruins your whole day. Yeah, I mean, I've actually stopped
wearing my Apple Watch. I used to wear it religiously
(13:41):
for like the last seven years, only because it has
a screen on it, so Jack always gets distracted by it.
But as a lot of followers, anytime we'd ever post
a group photo on our outspoken Instagram account, someone would
be wearing an Apple Watch at like a fucking wedding
just triggers everyone. Yeah, it was like take that off.
Sharing about your sleep reminds me of the people that
always have to share their strap updates. It's almost like proof,
(14:03):
like look at the run I did, or look at
how little sleep I've had. Can you actually track your
walk on struggle without posting it because I just thought
you had to do so I post one all the time.
I mean the people who then go to the lengths
of then putting on their Instagram story to I mean
to be fair. Whenever you do do a run, you
feel like such a legend you go to tell everyone
about it. I think with Steph, she's wanting to share
some of the I suppose not so glamorous sides of
(14:24):
motherhood and her life to be relatable because, as you said,
she owns this multimillion dollar business she's abod so to
be relatable she kind of needs to share some of
these updates.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Well, last week there were a couple of updates that
really aggravated people. So Steph shared a photo of her
looking solemn with water splash on her face with the
caption me late last night, sitting with the guilt of
yelling at Harvey after hitting my point of overwhelmed from
no more patients. She then went on to explain that
she left the room, splash water in her face and
did a controlled breathing exercise which allowed her to reset,
(14:58):
and she finished up by saying that bedtime was rough
last night. But she couldn't be fucked to go into
the details. Now. A few days later, Steph shared another
update about Harvey's sleep, writing after six pm bedtime, half
slept through, but woke at five am ready to start
his day. I was not with the laughing face emoji,
so Josh got him up and took him for a
long walk, and I slept in till six thirty am.
(15:19):
I woke to Harvey pulling me out of bed to
show me the flowers he found me on his walk.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
Now.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
This update sparked a massive reaction in our Facebook group,
with many of our listeners admitting they've unfollowed Steph because
of her constant complaints about parenting. Now, according to Social Blade,
which tracks influencers followings, Steph has lost over two thousand,
seven hundred followers in the last thirty days. Now, I
had a look at her overall following and it has
(15:44):
taken a hit in the last year. So since January
twenty twenty four, Steph has lost almost thirty thousand followers,
and that calculation takes into consideration people who have followed
an unfollowed, so her overall following is on the decline.
Do you think that has anything to do with her
announcing her pregnancy, because I know that might sound like
a weird question, because a lot of the time, when
(16:06):
influencers announce they are having a baby, they will get
an increase in followers. But Steph Klaire Smith, a lot
of her initial popularity on Instagram was because she was
a model, So a lot of men follow Steph Klaire Smith.
So I wonder, and I think I've heard her speak
about this on the podcast before. I wonder if a
lot of those men who originally followed her were like, Oh,
I don't want to follow this pregnancy content. I'm not
(16:28):
interested in this stuff about kick anymore. Because she used
to be one of the biggest ossie influencers. I think
she was one of the first to get to a
million followers, and I think a lot of it had
to do with I don't want to say creeps, but
a lot of men who were like, oh my god,
she's gorgeous. I want to follow her for her PENI phos. Well,
if you take a look at her engagement rate on
social bladeer is surprisingly quite low, so she's sitting on
(16:49):
zero point six four percent. I did have a look
at her influence appears to put that engagement rate into perspective,
and her best friend Laura Henshaw has one point one percent,
while Janney Tunci has two point nine, Sarah's Day has
one point one five, Abby Chatfield has one point thirty seven,
and Friend of the Show Courtney Mangan has three point
three eight percent. So she is a micro influencer. So
(17:10):
it's interesting to compare that. Sometimes micro influencers have a
much better engagement rate to those half millions of follow ups.
But also you've got a think zero point six four
percent of one point four million people is a lot
higher than you know, three percent eighty thirty thousand. I
think people with larger followings in the millions often struggle
to actually increase their engagement, right, I understand that, But
(17:32):
it is still quite a low engagement rate, because less
than one percent is considered low engagement. Well, between one
and three point five is considered quite regular and good.
Between three point five and six percent is high, and
above six percent is very high. I think that people
are engaging with content differently now. I've even noticed I
feel more reluctant to like or comment on things like
(17:54):
I would never comment on an influencer's post whereas I think,
but people may direct them on which obviously leads to
engagement as well. But I've seen a lot of people
saying that they don't even want to like their own
friends shit anymore. I think that's a bit too far.
But I do think TikTok is usually a good indicator
of whether an influencer is resting on their laurels of
attracting a big following in the early days of Instagram,
(18:14):
because only one hundred and forty thousand of Steph's one
point four million followers have transferred across to TikTok, which
is quite surprising. Why do you think so many people
are up in arms about these updates about Harvey sleep Well?
I did read all of the comments in our Facebook community,
which I think give an interesting snapshot. So to summarize
the thoughts of our community. Many people think that Steph
(18:35):
doesn't have age appropriate expectations on her son, and some
also accused her of being unrelatable and tone deaf to
those who don't have a village like she does. So
to put this comment into perspective, Steph gets a lot
of support, not only from her husband Josh, who is
the primary caregiver, but also her son's grandparents, so she
often talks about them babysitting Harvey for the weekend or
(18:56):
overnight to let her sleep in. And then others criticize
Steph for sharing personal details about him, despite previously saying
that she was trying to protect his privacy by covering
his face. That is something that I do grapple with
because quite often I see Steph's content and I noticed
that she is out a lot of the times during
the week, like at an influencer event or at a concert,
which again I mean if he's asleep then whatever, But
(19:19):
is that her work as well? Well, that's the thing,
that's what would be quite complicated because in order to
be an influencer and keep connection, she would have to
go to those things, so they would be considered work.
But I think that that's maybe what rubs people up
the wrong way. A lot of mums who are maybe
stay at home mums, like, well, I don't have this
freedom and flexibility, and you know, don't you expect to
have some time where maybe he wakes you up? Do
you think it's also because Steph is the bread winner
(19:41):
in quotations and that like if you reverse the roles.
Can you imagine if there was a dad who was
out working and his wife was at home and he
was on Instagram being like, oh, I didn't even sleep
last night, and now people would be like, oh, you're
not even at home looking That is actually such a
good point. I think it's because she tries to make
her braain and also being a mother, and I think
(20:03):
that there's this terribly outdated expectation that women should be
the primary caregivers. So a lot of mums shall we
get their noses out of joint and say, well, you
don't even spend much time with them, which isn't the
common complaint about Steph. I mean, people have even blamed
her son's sleep issues because she goes to work, which
I think is completely unfair. I mean, there was a
small portion of comment as in our Facebook group saying
that they found Steph's updates very refreshing, especially those who
(20:26):
also struggle with their children's sleep, and they said it
made them feel less guilty about not being the perfect mum.
One listener also a reminder of the community that Steph
is running a multimillion dollar company while being pregnant and
a mum. I do think there is an element of
internalized misogyny at play, as much as we may not
want to admit it, I think it still is a
foreign concept for a lot of us to wrap our
(20:47):
heads around that the mother goes out to work full
time and the dad is a stay at home parent,
and maybe one that a lot of us are envious of,
because when I look at this, I currently am the
primary care giver of my son, and I'm like, jeez,
it'd be nice to get to go to all of
these events and also work as much as I want
to and then also enjoy my beautiful son. I also
think a lot of people were triggered by the fact
(21:07):
that Steph said that Harvey had slept eleven hours that night,
and she also followed it up because a lot of
people were like, well, maybe don't put him down at
six pm. Put him down a little bit later, so
then he sleeps a little bit later. But then she goes, oh,
when am I is meant to have time to spend
with Josh? And then it's like, but the kid's not
a robody, can't just fit automatically into the times that
you want him to be awake. I have to defend
(21:29):
Steph a little bit though, because I do think we
need to cut her some slack the fact that she
is thirty weeks pregnant. Sometimes when I see her putting
up her stories and she's spoke speaking about losing it
at Harvey, I get it. Pregnancy rage is real, and
it would be so difficult being sleep deprived. I mean,
as the woman your body is going through so much,
(21:50):
she's probably not sleeping. She's probably sleeping next to her
partner who's fucking snoring all not. And then she's having
to go out and slogger guts out in the gym
for kick she's working really long. I mean, Kay, you mentioned, Oh,
it seems like she's out having all this fun, but
she would be missing her child every day. She would
be experiencing mum guilt. So it's not that bizarre to
me that she would have moments where she would lose
(22:11):
it at her toddler. And I kind of respect that
she's sharing about it because a lot of mums can
feel like they relate to that. Yeah, but I think
that she opens herself up to criticism by sharing about it.
And I know you said that there is that back
to where people can be like, oh, I do that,
it makes me feel better about not being a perfect mum.
But you can't say that she's not opening herself up
(22:32):
to criticism because there's a lot of people who follow
her that don't have children, and when you don't have children,
you don't realize how much sleep actually controls your life.
I think Steph's attempt to try and remain relatable is
actually rubbing people up the wrong way. And someone who
is actually doing a good job of remaining relatable throughout
parenthood is Jade Tunci, who is also a friend of Steph.
So she often speaks on an Instagram story about the
(22:54):
difficulties of motherhood and she backs it up by then
genuinely sharing things that she loves about. That kind of
balances its way out. And Jarday shared this week about
how her nine month old keeps waking up inconsolably and
won't sleep overnight, and she apologized to her non parent
followers and said, before she had her son, she used
to find it really irritating hearing parents go on and
(23:16):
on about their children's sleep, and she said, after being
in the sleep trenches for nine months now, she totally
gets it because it just consumes you and takes up
eighty percent of your attention and rules your life. Jarday
Tunci is somebody who has really gone up in my
view of influences because I know we spoke about her
in quite a critical way when she was the betrothed,
but I think it was because we didn't get her
(23:37):
sense of humor. I've seen a completely different side to
her since she's had that podcast with her husband, and
she is quickly becoming one of my favorite influence. I
don't necessarily think we saw the wrong side of her.
I thought maybe maybe motherhood has changed her a bit,
because she was calling out a lot of that. You know,
she got in trouble for calling out a luxury you know,
honeymoon Spot. There were you know, she did do some
things that were wrong, saying everything she has done previously
(23:59):
was perfec But now I know her sense of humor,
I actually get it more. And I've heard around the
traps that she's actually one of the nicest influences at events.
She's very funny, she talks to everybody, and she wants
to unblock us so we can still follow her content.
No great, I do follow her on my finster and
I very much enjoy her content because my son is
the same does Yeah, my son's the same age as
(24:20):
her son, So I relate on that level now. On Thursday,
off the back of jar Day's update, Steph explained that
she shares Harvey's sleep updates for a little solidarity and
to make others feel like they're less alone if they're
going through a similar thing. She also said this.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
Also, this is my last story about sleep tonight today.
But I saw jar Day post about this the other
day and it made me laugh because I know that
there's people who are so over me talking about Harvy sleep.
Trust me, I've been basically doing it since the day.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
He was here.
Speaker 3 (24:54):
But I feel like the people that are over it
are the people that get to sleep at night, whether
they don't have children or they have children who have
not really had much trouble with sleeping. The people who
are over it are generally the ones that can't relate.
So next time you think like, oh, can there she
goes talking about sleep again, think how grateful am I
(25:15):
that my mind is not consumed by sleep all the time.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
Now, as a mother of a nine month old, I
can definitely vouch for Steph that sleep absolutely consumes you.
Even when your child is sleeping, you are then working
an overdrive to ensure you stick to the same routine
to make sure it keeps happening. So I totally get this,
and in saying that the f updates have still rubbed
me up the wrong way. So I suppose some of
us have to look at ourselves and work out what's
going on and why that is. Well. I saw this
(25:41):
TikTok the other day and it was saying, can we
normalize that people who don't have children and are in
their thirties and are working full time are also tired?
And that went off. I mean, I couldn't agree more.
Obviously I haven't experienced. Can we come back and see
if you agree. I'm saying, I just don't like this
tone that only people with children are tired. Yeah, other
(26:03):
people being thirty five that I have been incredibly tired
with your pregnant time, no, but working in a full
time career life. I'm not going to diminish how tired
I have previously. Okay, well, I invite you in this
time next year to see if you have a different Kate.
Kate is currently the boss or the president of the
(26:23):
Just You wait, committee. I think ultimately what this comes
down to is people want to have a winge online
and other people think that they've got it harder than Steph,
so she's not entitled to a winge. I think that
that's the summary of a situation. I also think anytime
you mention anything about parenting, everyone's going to have a
different opinion on it. Let's get into our Friday debrief.
(26:46):
Fun fact, it is our thirty six birthday today, so
if you have been spiraling about it, people on our
subs will know what we're talking about. Actually be inspiraling.
I think that's a bit unfair. I've actually said I'm
excited to turn thirty six because that was the age
i'm Princess Diana to have been, and I always thought, yes,
I know, that's the little dark bit of it. Of course,
she did pass away at that age, but I'm saying
(27:06):
that I thought it was a cool age because that
was when she was coming into her own and she
finally had her voice and she was very confident. See
that's why I think you were spiraling, because I found
that quite sick. I didn't really think about the whole
death bit, but I just thought, oh, thirty six sounds
cool because I associated with Princess Diana. Look whatever get
Sophie through her birthday without complaining. I've got a bit
(27:28):
of a share for this week that if anyone is eating,
please put your food away. I was told off for
telling this story at family dinner whilst Amy was consuming
her meal. But we had a bit of a mystery
this week because on Saturday, we walked out to go
to the car, and we've had a lot of work
going under our house. We had this pile of sand
in front of the house and I thought the neighbour's
(27:49):
dog had come over and done a big pooh on
this dirt. It turned out it was actually intestinees. So
there was an animal which had been killed by something
and they'd eaten everything but the intestines. Anyway, we thought
that this was particularly odd because we'd watched this murder
show on Netflix, and basically the whole crux of it
(28:10):
was that this murderer would string up animal intestines in
the yard as a sign that they're about to strike
and murder someone else. So we were like, oh my god,
this is so free. They were animal and testine. Well
that's what we thought. Oh, my god, is this like
a serial killer on the loose? Is this that someone
playing a perspective? For those who don't know that, you
(28:30):
live in the Adelaide Hills, so there's a lot of
wildlife around us in some suburban street guts on the front.
And we were like, only girl, we can't live in
the hills so much longer. This is gross. Fast forward
to two days later, Brannon goes out into our backyard
and finds a possum head perched on the ground, just
the head, nothing else. Thought, always someone playing a prank
(28:52):
on us? What is going on? We did a research.
It is a fox. I saw the fox last night
when I got home. It had its little white tail
in the yard. It freaked me out. Just something quite
magical about seeing foxes in the world, Like they freak
me out, but they're such majestic at mine. We're just
so sad because we literally used to have a possum
that ran past our bedroom at twelve o'clock every night.
(29:14):
I'm like, is that the puzzle? Oh? So sad? So sad.
A more positive ship, I do have a bit more
of a positive update. It said I have finally sold
my car, so I have been wheeling and dealing trying
to sell my old car on Facebook marketplace and also
car sales, and my goodness, my ad had over a
thousand views. Every man and his dog was reaching out
(29:35):
to me wanting this car. It was a Mazda to
apparently their hot property at the moment. But the amount
of time wasters has been incredible. I also am shocked
people would rock up with their mechanics to check out
the car. That's smart. It was smart. But the person
who eventually bought it, he said he wanted to do
an RAA check. So he came along this guy, like
(29:56):
this guy in his sixties with his twenty eight year
old son. The mother ca him along too, and they said, oh, yeah,
we'll do an RAA check. They never did one. They
ended up purchasing the car. Didn't they ask you if
it came in another color? And You're like, I don't
know if. Yeah. The funniest thing was, because I'm so pregnant,
I just made Dale deal with them. Also, poor Dale,
he's like six foot five. He's having to get into
(30:17):
the back of this tiny Master too to do all
of these test drives with all these fucking Randos. And yeah,
they said to dab, I'll just come in a different color,
and Dale was like, well, we've only got it in red. Well,
actually it does come in another color because I'm currently
trying to sell my Master Too as well, which comes
in black, if anyone is interested. Now having regret because
I just traded my Master Too in at the dealership
(30:38):
got like nothing for it. I told you, kay, this
is why people people just trade it in. I got
offered some pitiful amount to trade it in and I said, no,
I'm going to spell it might be fair. This has
taken about ten months, yeah, but it make quite a
bit of vecta. It's also because we haven't been bothered.
Speaker 2 (30:52):
You know.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
One of the other funny things is new the new
owner of my car said was he goes, oh, can
I do donuts? Like does it do? And my husband
was like, well, she hasn't been doing donut, but it
is red, so maybe it goes quite fast.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
Now, I think that is all we have time for today.
Thank you so much for joining us for this episode.
If you have enjoyed it, could you please make sure
you are subscribed on Apple Podcasts and Spotify And if
you do enjoy the podcast, we would absolutely love it
if you could leave us a five star review. This
episode was recorded on the traditional land of the Ghana
people of the Adelaide Planes. We pay respect to elders
(31:28):
past and present.
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