November 9, 2024 • 52 mins
What if the pain of your past could be the catalyst for your transformation?
Krystal Jae, the Empowerment Goddess and Somatic Trauma-Informed Coach, invites you to explore the profound journey of overcoming suffering in silence.
In this heartfelt episode, Krystal Jae shares her personal story of hitting rock bottom and the transformative steps that led her to reclaim her identity, self-love, and purpose. Discover how embracing your vulnerabilities and moving beyond people-pleasing can lead you to a life filled with peace and clarity.
Do you feel trapped by the weight of PTSD, anxiety, or the scars of betrayal?
Krystal Jae shares her powerful insights on how to break free from the chains of self-doubt and fear. Learn how to accept past experiences as stepping stones towards empowerment. Through real stories and practical advice, this episode emphasizes the importance of self-reliance for happiness and the necessity of showing up for oneself. Krystal Jae offers guidance on fostering a mindset transformation that encourages positivity, resilience, and growth.
Ever wonder how changing your mindset could change your life?
Krystal Jae sheds light on effective techniques like gratitude, mindfulness, and meditation to cultivate a growth mindset. Uncover the strength in viewing challenges as opportunities and acknowledging imperfections to enhance relationships and self-worth. As you venture into self-healing, Krystal Jae encourages you to embrace your past without letting it define your future.
Empower yourself with self-love and purpose, knowing that you are enough and never alone on this journey of transformation.
“You are not alone, and you are enough. When times get tough, pray, listen and follow through. God loves you and trust me when I say he is not your trauma.” ~Krystal Jae
“Believe in all that you are and know that you have this inner power that is greater than any obstacle.” ~Krystal Jae
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, hey, welcome to Overcome Suffering and Silence
with Kr,, , the EmpowermentGoddess, your who Am I expert
and your Somatic Trauma-InformedCoach.
So today we're going to dothings a little bit different.
Okay, y'all Just stick with me,though, right?
So one thing when I'm drivingor in outrunning errands, or
(00:24):
even sometimes when I'm here athome and I'm cleaning or cooking
, I will sit here and I willplay a podcast, a YouTube video
or something else, instead of amusic or TV.
Well, those of you that havebeen with me for a while, y'all
(00:47):
know that I published a blogabout eight months ago.
The last article was aboutletting go of the past six steps
, answering the question of howI find myself again, and I
released part one.
Since then, I've just been sooverly busy that I never did
(01:07):
release part two, and I justrealized that Just as a
refresher, I just really wantedto go through part one again.
So then that will lead to parttwo.
If you're anything like me, youcan, even you may read a book,
but then you go back and doaudio, or, especially, if
there's a book that I'm reallytrying to learn the information,
(01:29):
I will be reading it, but thenI'll also listen to the audio as
well.
This is for you to really learnhow to become who you are after
the traumas and the abuse andthe betrayals and the letdowns
that we've experienced.
Right, because a lot of us haveexperienced childhood traumas,
(01:52):
generational trauma, sexual,mental, physical, emotional
abuse, been in relationships orhave a family member or a friend
that's a narcissist.
We've been through situationsto where we have been let down
or maybe we were the otherperson who let someone down and
(02:12):
so you're living with all ofthis in you and you're suffering
in silence and you're wonderingGod, when is this going to ever
be enough?
You're suffering with anxietyand living in that anxiousness
all the time.
You may have depression, ptsd,all of those things.
(02:32):
Your fight and flight system isalways activated and you're
just hypervigilant.
And so today, absorb thisinformation, because when I tell
you that this is a lifetransformational process, it is
definitely that, and it has beensaid over and over and over
(02:53):
again with my past clients onhow much this information helps
them in their life and todiscover who they are, embrace
their vulnerabilities and toovercome the limitations in
their life.
Right, and so that's the wholepurpose of me being here is to
(03:13):
help you overcome that sufferingin silence, to break free from
the limitations of trauma thathold you back.
Because why is it so importantfor me?
Because I've been there and Iknow how it feels to live in
that space, and I don't want youto live in that space.
(03:34):
So enjoy a snippet of lettinggo of the past six steps.
Answering the question of how Ifind myself again, you're
definitely going to need to goback.
Read the blog that's availableat crystaljcom forward slash
(03:54):
blog.
It is full of valuableinformation.
Hey, hey, welcome.
To Overcome Suffering inSilence.
It's time for you to stoppeople pleasing and create your
better life.
I am Crystal J, the EmpowermentGoddess and your somatic,
trauma-informed life coach.
This season has already startedin a way I couldn't even
(04:18):
imagine.
Now, are you ready for somerealness, raw healing and a
glimpse into what it feels liketo walk in peace, clarity and
purpose, while truly knowing whoyou are?
If your answer is yes, thenyou've come to the right place.
For the past two decades, I'vebeen blessed to share my journey
with countless women and a fewmen, empowering them to overcome
(04:42):
the lingering shadows ofphysical, emotional,
psychological and sexual abuse.
Together, we confront thelimitations that hold us back
like self-doubt, guilt, fear,shame and that pervasive sense
of unworthiness.
Dig deep to uncover the root ofthese feelings.
Break free from the inner painof suffering and silence.
(05:05):
Find faith.
Grow in that faith and embracethe life that is meant for you.
Enjoy the real stories andpractical advice, life-enhancing
skills and spiritual wisdom toguide you from pain to purpose,
self-doubt to confidence andconfusion to clarity.
So let's leave the struggle busbehind and embark on this
(05:28):
journey to discover the freedom,beauty and strength that lies
within you.
Remember you are not alone andyou are enough.
When times get tough, pray,listen and follow through,
because God loves you, and trustme when I say he is not your
trauma.
Welcome to Overcome Sufferingin Silence with Crystal J.
(05:55):
This is day 14 and I have yet toleave my home.
Just the thought of steppingoutside gets my heart racing, my
palms sweaty, my mind wondering.
Anxiousness, doubt andconfusion are leading my life
right now.
Just 14 days ago, my good lifecame crashing down.
(06:20):
I thought I was living my lifewith the past, in the past
mainly, since I have attendedtherapy several times, and when
I say several times, I meanseveral times before Listening
and continually nodding.
(06:40):
My therapist said so.
What I hear is or how does thatmake you feel?
Each session I love feelingbetter and ready to take on the
rest of the week, only torealize a few hours later that I
didn't know how to reach thenext step in my journey.
(07:02):
So I could find myself again.
So now lying in bed, overwhelmeddue to PTSD, which is
post-traumatic stress disorder,and severe anxiety.
I craved help.
I was like the 53% of peoplewho believe that therapy is a
(07:28):
sign of strength and not aweakness, despite the 47% who
believe that therapy is a signof weakness, and there's an
article on that.
I was tired of not having theenergy to eat, take showers or
(07:51):
spend time outside of my bed.
The need to have somesocialization was non-existent,
yet at the same time, it wasexistent because, in reality, I
want to be myself again.
I tried to laugh, watch moviesand cook for my family, but the
(08:27):
sexual assault and physical,mental, verbal and medical abuse
had come flooding back in allat once and it rock bottom and
had no way back up.
The exhaustion from no sleephad also crept in my sleep,
(09:00):
crying or yelling from thenightmare I had just experienced
, wishing that I would feelbetter, and it would take me
sometimes a few seconds, andsometimes what felt like forever
, to actually recover andrealize that that nightmare
(09:24):
wasn't real.
Unfortunately, I still had todeal with the inner pain, the
suffering, the doubt and theconfusion that I had while awake
.
There was no break, there wasno way out from this nightmare
(09:47):
of a life.
I was exhausted and just wantedto go back to 15 days ago.
The feeling of unwantedness hadtaken over my mind.
Still, gratefully, I was aboutto embark on an empowering,
transformational journey toself-discovery, where I would
(10:11):
find myself again and becomeunstoppable.
It is life-changing to discoverwhat it means to reclaim your
identity and foster a lifefilled with love, growth and
positivity.
It begins with us delving intosearching within ourselves to
(10:36):
gain a positive mindset, becomeour authentic selves, cultivate
healthy relationships, embraceindependence and inspire growth
through continuous learning,each step serving as a beacon of
(11:01):
empowerment and transformation.
Serving as a beacon ofempowerment and transformation,
it is designed for those seekingto break free from self-doubt,
fear of abandonment, lonelinessand confusion, to embrace
(11:22):
clarity, self-worth andself-love.
This narrative invites you tofind yourself again, with
confidence and resilienceleading the way.
Discover how to rebuildyourself from trauma and toxic
relationships as we navigatethrough the pain and limitations
(11:43):
, with empowerment woven in,with motivational words and
uplifting guidance.
During this journey, women andmen will find the inner strength
, personal growth andauthenticity needed to improve
(12:04):
their lives.
So you can feel free right nowto stop.
And while you're stopping, Iwant you to stop and share this
episode right now, with thefirst person on your mind.
Have you done it yet?
(12:25):
Now I dare you to unveil thepowerful, resilient and
authentic you.
Welcome to your journey ofembracing your personal
transformation.
(12:50):
Embracing personaltransformation is a courageous
step towards self-healing andgrowth.
It's about looking inward andacknowledging that rediscovering
oneself may require change,openness and dedication.
Transformation often beginswith accepting past experiences,
no matter how difficult theyhave shaped us.
But remember they do not defineour future.
(13:12):
Because when I say trauma,trauma does not define you.
And when I say that it does notdefine you, it left behind
limitations.
It left behind limitations.
It left behind pain.
It left behind self-doubt andconfusion and even anger and
maybe some guilt, but it doesn'tdefine you and you don't have
(13:36):
to live in that place, and Imean that from the bottom of my
heart, because I was once thereand I know that it's not fair.
You may even be showing up foreverybody else, but then you
feel guilty for showing up foryourself.
But if you don't show up foryourself, who's going to show up
(13:58):
for you?
So then you show up foryourself and you get things done
, and then you feel bad forshowing up for yourself, because
then everybody's like well, Iwould have done it, but would
you have?
Because you had to have theopportunity, but no one showed
up for me.
So I had to figure it out and Itook care of it.
That might be where you'reliving and that's what you might
(14:24):
be.
You might be where you'reliving and that's what you might
be.
You might be used to having toplease everybody else in order
for you to feel like you areaccepted.
You may sit here and you show upand you support people, but
when you say something thatsomeone doesn't like or do
something that someone doesn'tlike, then they want to make you
(14:47):
feel guilty, not show up foryou.
They want to put you down, andthen you're left alone, when
that's part of why you'resuffering in silence.
It's because you don't want tobe alone, because you have a
fear of abandonment.
It's because you don't want tobe alone, because you have a
(15:08):
fear of abandonment.
That is why you're goingthrough this personal
transformation.
This is why you're goingthrough this to find yourself
again, to where you're no longerliving depending on your
happiness being other people'shappiness.
Because it's time for you tofind your own happiness, for you
to live in it, for you to soar,for you to embrace empowered
(15:32):
transformational healing,because that's what this journey
is and it's yours.
Sorry, I had to go on a rantreal quick.
Let's go back to it.
Personal transformation is acommitment to self-reflection,
moving forward, settingintentions for who you want to
(15:57):
become and taking actionablesteps towards those goals.
By engaging in the process, youassert that your past will not
hold you captive and that youare ready to craft a life that
reflects your true essence andpotential and potential.
(16:31):
This journey is about nurturingyour well-being, learning to
trust yourself again and openingup to new possibilities.
It's a powerful declarationthat you are ready to find
yourself again and live a lifethat is authentically yours the
uplifting power ofself-discovery.
(16:51):
Self-discovery is atransformative process that
empowers you to understand yourtrue self, beyond the roles and
expectations imposed by others.
It's a deep dive into yourinner world, exploring your
(17:14):
passions, your fears, yourstrengths and your limitations.
This journey of honesty andself-discovery can elevate your
sense of purpose and help youalign your life with your
deepest values.
It's about peeling back thelayers of who you think you
(17:54):
should be to reveal who youtruly are.
As you become more in tune withyour inner self, your decisions
, relationships and your lifepath reflects your authentic
identity.
This alignment creates a senseof fulfillment and joy that is
both uplifting andlife-affirming.
The power of self-discoverylies in its ability to transform
(18:19):
how you see yourself and engagewith the world around you and
engage with the world around you.
Step one a look withinself-reflection.
Self-reflection is a criticalfirst step in the journey of
self-discovery and personaltransformation.
(18:42):
It involves taking a step backto assess your thoughts,
feelings and behaviorsobjectively.
This process can help youunderstand the why behind your
actions and how past experiencesinfluence them.
(19:02):
It's about acknowledging yourhistory, recognizing patterns
that may no longer serve you andgaining clarity on your current
state of being.
Through self-reflection, youcreate the space to ask yourself
(19:23):
important questions like who amI?
What are my beliefs and values?
How do my past experiencesimpact my present?
(19:44):
Step one a look withinself-reflection.
Self-reflection is a criticalfirst step in the journey of
self-discovery and personaltransformation.
It involves taking a step backto assess your thoughts,
feelings and behaviorsobjectively.
(20:04):
This process can help youunderstand the why behind your
actions and how past experiencesinfluence them.
It's about acknowledging yourhistory, recognizing patterns
that may no longer serve you andgaining clarity on your current
(20:28):
state of being.
Through self-reflection, youcreate the space to ask yourself
important questions like who amI?
What are my beliefs and values?
How do my past experiencesimpact my present?
(20:49):
Why am I stuck?
Where do I want to be in sixmonths?
If you're seriously ready toanswer for help you go deeper
(21:30):
into discovering who you arebecause, like I said,
self-reflection is the firststep and in that you will also
get another guide, and it'sabout I'm tired.
Does this get any better guide?
You'll get those two freeguides at crystaljcom.
Forward slash yes, it do.
(21:52):
Okay.
K-r-y-s-t-a-l-j-a-ecom forwardslash yes, it do.
Step two you don't belong here.
Changing mindset.
Changing your mindset is apivotal part of the journey to
self-improvement and empowerment.
(22:14):
This step addresses thenegative thought patterns that
can hold you back from realizingyour full potential.
It's about challenging thebelief that you don't belong or
aren't good enough and replacingit with a conviction in your
(22:36):
worth and abilities.
I'm good enough and I know I'mgood enough.
I'm more than capable.
I can do all things Okay.
A negative mindset can blockhealing and growth, creating
self-doubt and fear that maystifle progress.
(23:00):
To change this, you must firstbecome aware of your inner talk
and its impact on your mood andbehavior.
Then, through mindfulness andpositive affirmations, you can
shift your thoughts fromself-criticism to self-support,
(23:24):
to self-support.
This transformation in thinkinggets you closer to finding
yourself again.
It isn't easy, but you cancultivate a mindset supporting
your journey towards a fulfilledand authentic life with
(23:45):
commitment and patience,shifting to a positive,
growth-oriented mindset.
Techniques for maintaining apositive outlook I told you I
believe in techniques and skillsand sharing them to where you
can have them, in your tool bag.
(24:07):
Even in the blogs and thearticles I publish, there's
action items.
Okay, there's skills, becausethat is essential for continue
lifing, but it's a lot easierwith life continuing to be lifen
(24:29):
when you have the skills andtools and techniques right there
with you.
Okay, now, maintaining apositive outlook can
significantly influence yourpersonal growth and happiness
journey.
To do this, begin by practicinggratitude.
(24:51):
Keep a journal where you canregularly record things you're
thankful for.
No matter how small, gratitudehelps shift focus from negative
to positive aspects of your life.
You know, that's why in theempowerment coloring book for
women that along with thecoloring pages there is check-in
(25:17):
points that says today I'mfeeling, and you can fill that
in and then today I'm gratefulfor we do.
I do those things on purposewith these check-ins, you know.
And then once a week you have abigger check-in and that is
(25:40):
here in the Empowerment ColoringBook for Women.
It includes the today I'mfeeling positive affirmations.
Today I'm grateful forsomething I'm proud of.
I want more of this and less ofthis.
What was my favorite moment ofthe day and tomorrow I look
forward to that's theempowerment coloring book for
women.
Y'all, everything is createdwith a purpose.
(26:05):
Okay, another technique is tosurround yourself with
positivity, whether that meanspeople who uplift you,
environments that comfort you.
I talk about how I like goingto certain parks in my area or
sitting by the river and,depending on how I feel that day
(26:26):
, I go to different parks.
One of the parks I go to that'sin my area.
It has like a little man-madeslash that goes into a natural
little waterfall type thing, andI like to sit right there and
I'll journal sometimes, or I'lljust sit there and I'll meditate
and it's a soothing environmentfor me.
So even the environments thatcomfort you.
(26:48):
It may be that you not leaveyour house and one thing I do is
I use, like, different waxmelts and I have the different
smells for different feelings.
Like, if I want one that iscool and refreshing, I do one
certain um, like it's like amountain fresh wax smell.
Then there is, I think, rightnow in my office, it's cashmere
(27:12):
and amberwood and it's like a,it's a soothing scent right In
my bedroom.
I have relaxing scents right.
So, and then if I'm in theliving room or even sometimes
when I'm in my office, I havemore of citrusy smells because
(27:32):
those are more energizing sense.
So even the, so you can evenmake the environment that you're
in right now be comforting toyou.
If you're someone who's goingto work and maybe you can't use
the wax nails or the smells forErica's because of whatever, you
can even do different oils andsmells and put them on your
(27:58):
wrist and smell them.
I used to do that, especiallyat my last nine to five.
I would put soothing smells onmy wrist, so then that way, or
my forearms, where I could smellmy wrist or my forearm to kind
of calm my nerves and helpsoothe me.
We're not even going to gothere.
(28:19):
Okay, why I had to have that?
But yes, you know, you makeyour environment comfortable to
you or you can do activitiesthat bring you joy.
Mindfulness and meditation canalso play a significant role in
fostering positivity.
(28:40):
By bringing your attention tothe present moment, you can
distance yourself from pastregrets and future worries.
Setting achievable goals andcelebrating small victories can
bolster your confidence andencourage a growth mindset.
(29:01):
At Remember, a positive outlookisn't about ignoring life's
challenges, but it's aboutfacing them with hope and a
positive growth attitude.
Embracing a growth mindsetmeans believing one can develop
one's abilities and intelligencethrough dedication and hard
(29:25):
work.
It's about viewing challengesas opportunities rather than
obstacles, and failures aslessons rather than setbacks.
Okay, I want to say that onemore time.
Okay, it's about embracing agrowth mindset, which means
(29:46):
believing one can elevate yourabilities and your intelligence
through dedication and hard work.
(30:11):
Right, you can do it.
I believe in you.
It's also about viewing yourchallenges as opportunities
Instead of seeing yourchallenges as obstacles and
failures.
You will see your challenges aslessons and not setbacks.
(30:38):
Now to cultivate a growthmindset, start by acknowledging
and embracing imperfections.
Yes, I know it's hard to sitthere and be like dang, like.
I do talk with a funky attitudesometimes, even when I don't
mean to.
Okay, well, you know what, ifyou do talk with a funky
(30:58):
attitude sometimes and you don'tmean to, then work on your tone
of your voice because sometimesit's the tone of your voice
that hurts people and notnecessarily the words they put
up the blocks on hearing youbecause of the tone of your
(31:22):
voice and not your words Okay,so let's work on that.
Having a healthy support systemis give and give.
It's not give and take.
We be there for others as wewant others to be there for us.
Yes, there's going to be timesto where you're going to sit
there and be like you know whatI love you, but right now I have
too much on my plate that Idon't even have the energy to
(31:49):
listen.
Right now Can you tap insomebody else on the team?
That's a good thing, because wedon't want to overwhelm someone
else.
We don't want someone else tooverwhelm us, right, and so
there has to be a balance.
(32:11):
It's about also recognizingthat you're a work in progress
and that each step, even themissteps is part of the learning
process.
Again, it's about learningright, learning from what we go
through.
Shift the focus from provingyourself to improving yourself,
(32:53):
point.
Shift the focus from provingyourself to improving yourself.
Ooh, I like that.
Now, letting go of damagingthoughts patterns.
Identifying damaged behaviorsand thought patterns.
Recognizing the damagingbehaviors and thought patterns
that undermine your well-being.
These can includeself-criticism, negative
(33:15):
attitudes and catastrophicthinking that anticipates the
worst outcomes.
Often these patterns areingrained and automatic, making
them challenging to detect andaddress.
They may be challenging, right,but you can do this.
(33:37):
I believe in you and I want youto say that you believe in you
because you are more than goodenough.
Listen closely to your innerdialogue.
So that means listen to yourinner self.
What kind of self-talk are youhaving with yourself?
(33:58):
Okay, what are you tellingyourself?
And be aware of when you mightbe labeling yourself unjustly
Now with this, just like I tellmy kids and I have them, do it
to each other, and now they doit to the whole family.
And just like we all try to doto ourselves, and especially me,
I try to do it myself.
If I notice that my inner selftalk is talking to myself
(34:21):
negatively, I tell myself threegood things as a rebuttal,
because we're not going to livein that negativity.
We're going to celebrate ourvictories.
We are going to celebrate theevolving that we're going
through, the transformationprocess that we're going through
.
It's good to have a life coach.
(34:42):
Y'all, I'm here.
You're a life coach.
You're a somatic,trauma-informed life coach.
You're a who Am I expert whocan offer an outside perspective
on your behavior patterns.
Okay, once identified, thesedetrimental thoughts and
behaviors can be activelychallenged and replaced with
(35:07):
more constructive responses,marking an important step in the
journey to finding myself again.
Learning to forgive yourself isa powerful step in letting go of
the past and moving towards afuture where you can find
(35:29):
yourself again.
You may ask why do I need toforgive myself?
Well, if you are anything likeme or any of my, you will
realize that you allowed othersto mistreat you and that you
(35:50):
mistreated yourself by allowingmistreatment.
Okay, that's deep.
Yes, some are out of ourcontrol.
Some of the mistreatmentsometimes is out of our control.
That's very valid, it is.
But let's be brutally honestwith ourselves.
(36:12):
Okay, have you ever toldyourself it is okay and maybe
you deserved it, and maybe youdeserved it?
Wow, take that to heart y'all.
(36:49):
It is time for you to make thedecision to let go of the past.
It is time for you to saytrauma, you don't define me.
Anxiousness, you don't controlme.
Sadness, you can't keep me down.
Fear, I laugh at you.
(37:13):
It's your time to silence allthe things that are running in
your head.
All the things that are runningin your head.
It is time for you to say, yes,I do love me.
(37:33):
And if you don't love youbecause there was times that I
did that, that I was like oh, doI even love myself?
I think I hate myself, I hatewhere I put myself.
But you know what you can putyourself in a better position,
but it's up to you.
I can't make you decide toovercome the suffering and
(37:59):
silence that you areexperiencing.
I can't make you stop livingyour life People pleasing
everybody else Because you'reafraid of being alone, that
you're afraid of being abandoned, that you're afraid that no one
(38:19):
will ever love you.
Because one thing that I'velearned Is that if you love you,
because one thing that I'velearned is that if you love
yourself and you show yourselfthe love that yourself deserve,
that you treat you the way youdeserve to be treated.
You're also showing otherpeople how to love you, how to
treat you, how to approach you.
(38:41):
Approach you, but it startswith you.
Yeah, it may have sucked thethings that you experienced
growing up in life, you mighthave had a good childhood that
has some pretty traumatic thingshappen but you cannot continue
(39:08):
to live your life saying I'mthis way because that is what
happened to me, because you havethe decision to be like you
know what.
I'm going to be better thanthat and I'm going to heal from
that and I'm going to move onfrom that and I'm going to show
what it means to really love, toreally be in love, to really
(39:34):
show up for others, to reallyknow how to speak to other
people, to how people knows howto speak to me and treat me, and
I'm going to do them and treatthe other people good and love
them very well.
I understand the pain.
I've been there, but I can'tcontinue to allow my past to
(40:04):
control my now or my future,because if I allow that, then
I'm going to allow the samecycles, if not worse, to go on
to my children.
(40:25):
If I don't, if I didn'tseriously heal from those things
witnessing abuse, physicalabuse, witnessing mental abuse,
(40:45):
being cursed at, seeing thatyou're not worth anything,
saying that you're worthless,calling you a b word, calling,
telling you to go f something,telling you that you're, you're
not worth anything in this life,that you you're stupid, that
you're dumb, that you are noteven worth being in this world.
(41:09):
Witness that Times to whereI've been told those things
being hit on, being sexuallyassaulted, having having medical
abuse, being disappointed bythe people in church because
(41:32):
that was supposed to be a safespace but instead I felt
attacked and judged and not safeand not where a place where God
would want me to be.
I couldn't continue to live inthose places, a place where God
would want me to be.
I can continue to live in thoseplaces and I can bring that
(41:53):
hurt and that pain and thatsuffering and silence on with me
for the rest of my life.
But then guess what your actionshas reactions and their actions
had reactions.
And if you're still reactingfrom that, then guess what
you're doing.
Your actions are passingreactions to your children.
(42:15):
Think about it.
So the more that you cover itup, the more that you say that
it's because of this.
Yes, it is, it is, it's valid.
But it's up to you to make thedecision to no longer live in
(42:41):
that pain.
It's up to you to gain yourlife back.
And honestly, if I'm beingreally real with you, it's not
even about gaining your lifeback.
It's about gaining a betterlife, having a purpose filled
(43:03):
life, having the life that youenvision for yourself.
But carrying that pain around,that trauma around, or ignoring
it or thinking you can hide awayfrom it, is not.
I want you to ask yourself areyou really hurting?
(43:25):
Are you still hurting yourself?
Because you may not be cuttingyourself.
I've tried cutting myself.
You're not cutting yourself.
You may not be swallowing pillsor drinking the pain away, or
(43:51):
smoking the pain away orshooting up the pain away or
snorting the pain away.
Are you ready to let go of thepast?
Look into yourself, embraceyour vulnerabilities, learn from
(44:20):
them so you can overcome them.
Set your boundaries, develop agrowth mindset, a positive
mindset.
Defeat the inner self-talk thatyou have, the inner negative
(44:44):
self-talk, self-talk that youhave the inner negative
self-talk, because one thingabout that inner self-talk,
especially when it's negative,is that we hear it so much it
convinces us that that's whateverybody else is saying and
(45:05):
this is not what everybody elseis saying.
If you're saying, dang, this istoo hard, here here's my hand.
Let me be your guide, because Iknow it's not easy.
Because I know it's not easyand I know sometimes you wish
(45:36):
for someone who understands andsomeone who can help you reach
that next level.
Here's my hand Let me help you.
Let me show you what empowered,transformational healing is.
Let me help put more tools,skills, techniques in your tool
(46:05):
bag that will last a lifetime.
Yeah, you're probably like manI've already been to therapy and
that didn't help me.
I still kind of felt lost, likeit helped me a little and I'm
back to where I can function,but something's missing.
That's where you get a coachand I'm right here, equipped
(46:25):
with tools, willing to give themto you.
Are you ready?
Because for the month ofNovember, I'm doing a Black
Friday sale and right now is thepre-sale.
(46:49):
With this pre-sale, you get upto 40% off of services, whether
you choose the coaching sessionsor the six-month program.
But it's up to you to takeadvantage of it and the pre-sale
(47:10):
is going to last up until BlackFriday.
And then, on Black Friday andCyber Monday, it's still going
to be a sale off the services,but it's not going to be 40%.
It's going to be less than 40%.
I still going to be a sell offthe services, but it's not going
to be 40%.
It's going to be less than 40%.
I'm going to be honest.
So this is my gift to you the40% off the coaching sessions or
(47:45):
the six month program youchoose.
But it's your time to let go ofthat past, to overcome the
suffering and silence for real,to begin healing for real.
Because most likely right now,your actions that you are making
(48:10):
today and yesterday andtomorrow Are actions that you
are taking because of reactions.
Those are your reactions Tosomeone else's actions, and the
(48:34):
people around you don't see themas reactions.
They see them as your actions.
Your kid or kids are seeingthem as your actions, and guess
what?
Then?
(48:55):
It's going to be theirreactions.
It's time for you to say yes tofinding yourself, to living your
best life, living yourpurpose-filled life, to develop
a positive mindset, to overcomethe anxiousness, to overcome the
(49:20):
doubt, to overcome theconfusion and live in positivity
.
Have self-love, because I'mtelling you, when you have the
self-love, you can love yourselfand you can love your people
(49:44):
around you way more, better andclearer than you ever loved
before.
And that's just being honest.
So how do you do this?
So how do you do this?
(50:08):
Go to crystaljcom forward slashBlack Friday Pre-Sale it's
K-R-Y-S-T-A-L-J-A-E forwardslash, black Friday Pre-Sale and
(50:32):
you get up to 40% off right now.
And you have to make thisdecision for you.
No one else can make thisdecision for you.
Okay, now I want you to do me afavor.
I want you to do me a favor.
(50:54):
I want you to share thisepisode to the first three
people on your mind.
I want you to share thisepisode with them.
Then I want you to leave me areview so that I know that I'm
giving you value.
I'm giving you the golden eggs.
Right, we use the goldennuggets.
I'm giving you the golden eggsbecause you can break them and
(51:15):
cook them and they can be ooh,yummy, goodness.
Okay.
And then, when you say yes toyourself and ready to have that
guide, that coach, that sister,that friend to walk with you, go
(51:41):
to crystaljcom forward slashBlack Friday Pre-sale up to 40%
off.
Join me in part two.
We're going to do steps threeand steps four and, as always,
remember you are not alone andyou are enough when times get
(52:06):
tough.
Pray, listen and follow through.
God loves you and trust me whenI say he is not your trauma.
Hey, hey, welcome to Overcome Suffering and Silence
with Kr,, , the EmpowermentGoddess, your who Am I expert
and your Somatic Trauma-InformedCoach.
So today we're going to dothings a little bit different.
Okay, y'all Just stick with me,though, right?
So one thing when I'm drivingor in outrunning errands, or
(00:24):
even sometimes when I'm here athome and I'm cleaning or cooking
, I will sit here and I willplay a podcast, a YouTube video
or something else, instead of amusic or TV.
Well, those of you that havebeen with me for a while, y'all
(00:47):
know that I published a blogabout eight months ago.
The last article was aboutletting go of the past six steps
, answering the question of howI find myself again, and I
released part one.
Since then, I've just been sooverly busy that I never did
(01:07):
release part two, and I justrealized that Just as a
refresher, I just really wantedto go through part one again.
So then that will lead to parttwo.
If you're anything like me, youcan, even you may read a book,
but then you go back and doaudio, or, especially, if
there's a book that I'm reallytrying to learn the information,
(01:29):
I will be reading it, but thenI'll also listen to the audio as
well.
This is for you to really learnhow to become who you are after
the traumas and the abuse andthe betrayals and the letdowns
that we've experienced.
Right, because a lot of us haveexperienced childhood traumas,
(01:52):
generational trauma, sexual,mental, physical, emotional
abuse, been in relationships orhave a family member or a friend
that's a narcissist.
We've been through situationsto where we have been let down
or maybe we were the otherperson who let someone down and
(02:12):
so you're living with all ofthis in you and you're suffering
in silence and you're wonderingGod, when is this going to ever
be enough?
You're suffering with anxietyand living in that anxiousness
all the time.
You may have depression, ptsd,all of those things.
(02:32):
Your fight and flight system isalways activated and you're
just hypervigilant.
And so today, absorb thisinformation, because when I tell
you that this is a lifetransformational process, it is
definitely that, and it has beensaid over and over and over
(02:53):
again with my past clients onhow much this information helps
them in their life and todiscover who they are, embrace
their vulnerabilities and toovercome the limitations in
their life.
Right, and so that's the wholepurpose of me being here is to
(03:13):
help you overcome that sufferingin silence, to break free from
the limitations of trauma thathold you back.
Because why is it so importantfor me?
Because I've been there and Iknow how it feels to live in
that space, and I don't want youto live in that space.
(03:34):
So enjoy a snippet of lettinggo of the past six steps.
Answering the question of how Ifind myself again, you're
definitely going to need to goback.
Read the blog that's availableat crystaljcom forward slash
(03:54):
blog.
It is full of valuableinformation.
Hey, hey, welcome.
To Overcome Suffering inSilence.
It's time for you to stoppeople pleasing and create your
better life.
I am Crystal J, the EmpowermentGoddess and your somatic,
trauma-informed life coach.
This season has already startedin a way I couldn't even
(04:18):
imagine.
Now, are you ready for somerealness, raw healing and a
glimpse into what it feels liketo walk in peace, clarity and
purpose, while truly knowing whoyou are?
If your answer is yes, thenyou've come to the right place.
For the past two decades, I'vebeen blessed to share my journey
with countless women and a fewmen, empowering them to overcome
(04:42):
the lingering shadows ofphysical, emotional,
psychological and sexual abuse.
Together, we confront thelimitations that hold us back
like self-doubt, guilt, fear,shame and that pervasive sense
of unworthiness.
Dig deep to uncover the root ofthese feelings.
Break free from the inner painof suffering and silence.
(05:05):
Find faith.
Grow in that faith and embracethe life that is meant for you.
Enjoy the real stories andpractical advice, life-enhancing
skills and spiritual wisdom toguide you from pain to purpose,
self-doubt to confidence andconfusion to clarity.
So let's leave the struggle busbehind and embark on this
(05:28):
journey to discover the freedom,beauty and strength that lies
within you.
Remember you are not alone andyou are enough.
When times get tough, pray,listen and follow through,
because God loves you, and trustme when I say he is not your
trauma.
Welcome to Overcome Sufferingin Silence with Crystal J.
(05:55):
This is day 14 and I have yet toleave my home.
Just the thought of steppingoutside gets my heart racing, my
palms sweaty, my mind wondering.
Anxiousness, doubt andconfusion are leading my life
right now.
Just 14 days ago, my good lifecame crashing down.
(06:20):
I thought I was living my lifewith the past, in the past
mainly, since I have attendedtherapy several times, and when
I say several times, I meanseveral times before Listening
and continually nodding.
(06:40):
My therapist said so.
What I hear is or how does thatmake you feel?
Each session I love feelingbetter and ready to take on the
rest of the week, only torealize a few hours later that I
didn't know how to reach thenext step in my journey.
(07:02):
So I could find myself again.
So now lying in bed, overwhelmeddue to PTSD, which is
post-traumatic stress disorder,and severe anxiety.
I craved help.
I was like the 53% of peoplewho believe that therapy is a
(07:28):
sign of strength and not aweakness, despite the 47% who
believe that therapy is a signof weakness, and there's an
article on that.
I was tired of not having theenergy to eat, take showers or
(07:51):
spend time outside of my bed.
The need to have somesocialization was non-existent,
yet at the same time, it wasexistent because, in reality, I
want to be myself again.
I tried to laugh, watch moviesand cook for my family, but the
(08:27):
sexual assault and physical,mental, verbal and medical abuse
had come flooding back in allat once and it rock bottom and
had no way back up.
The exhaustion from no sleephad also crept in my sleep,
(09:00):
crying or yelling from thenightmare I had just experienced
, wishing that I would feelbetter, and it would take me
sometimes a few seconds, andsometimes what felt like forever
, to actually recover andrealize that that nightmare
(09:24):
wasn't real.
Unfortunately, I still had todeal with the inner pain, the
suffering, the doubt and theconfusion that I had while awake
.
There was no break, there wasno way out from this nightmare
(09:47):
of a life.
I was exhausted and just wantedto go back to 15 days ago.
The feeling of unwantedness hadtaken over my mind.
Still, gratefully, I was aboutto embark on an empowering,
transformational journey toself-discovery, where I would
(10:11):
find myself again and becomeunstoppable.
It is life-changing to discoverwhat it means to reclaim your
identity and foster a lifefilled with love, growth and
positivity.
It begins with us delving intosearching within ourselves to
(10:36):
gain a positive mindset, becomeour authentic selves, cultivate
healthy relationships, embraceindependence and inspire growth
through continuous learning,each step serving as a beacon of
(11:01):
empowerment and transformation.
Serving as a beacon ofempowerment and transformation,
it is designed for those seekingto break free from self-doubt,
fear of abandonment, lonelinessand confusion, to embrace
(11:22):
clarity, self-worth andself-love.
This narrative invites you tofind yourself again, with
confidence and resilienceleading the way.
Discover how to rebuildyourself from trauma and toxic
relationships as we navigatethrough the pain and limitations
(11:43):
, with empowerment woven in,with motivational words and
uplifting guidance.
During this journey, women andmen will find the inner strength
, personal growth andauthenticity needed to improve
(12:04):
their lives.
So you can feel free right nowto stop.
And while you're stopping, Iwant you to stop and share this
episode right now, with thefirst person on your mind.
Have you done it yet?
(12:25):
Now I dare you to unveil thepowerful, resilient and
authentic you.
Welcome to your journey ofembracing your personal
transformation.
(12:50):
Embracing personaltransformation is a courageous
step towards self-healing andgrowth.
It's about looking inward andacknowledging that rediscovering
oneself may require change,openness and dedication.
Transformation often beginswith accepting past experiences,
no matter how difficult theyhave shaped us.
But remember they do not defineour future.
(13:12):
Because when I say trauma,trauma does not define you.
And when I say that it does notdefine you, it left behind
limitations.
It left behind limitations.
It left behind pain.
It left behind self-doubt andconfusion and even anger and
maybe some guilt, but it doesn'tdefine you and you don't have
(13:36):
to live in that place, and Imean that from the bottom of my
heart, because I was once thereand I know that it's not fair.
You may even be showing up foreverybody else, but then you
feel guilty for showing up foryourself.
But if you don't show up foryourself, who's going to show up
(13:58):
for you?
So then you show up foryourself and you get things done
, and then you feel bad forshowing up for yourself, because
then everybody's like well, Iwould have done it, but would
you have?
Because you had to have theopportunity, but no one showed
up for me.
So I had to figure it out and Itook care of it.
That might be where you'reliving and that's what you might
(14:24):
be.
You might be where you'reliving and that's what you might
be.
You might be used to having toplease everybody else in order
for you to feel like you areaccepted.
You may sit here and you show upand you support people, but
when you say something thatsomeone doesn't like or do
something that someone doesn'tlike, then they want to make you
(14:47):
feel guilty, not show up foryou.
They want to put you down, andthen you're left alone, when
that's part of why you'resuffering in silence.
It's because you don't want tobe alone, because you have a
fear of abandonment.
It's because you don't want tobe alone, because you have a
(15:08):
fear of abandonment.
That is why you're goingthrough this personal
transformation.
This is why you're goingthrough this to find yourself
again, to where you're no longerliving depending on your
happiness being other people'shappiness.
Because it's time for you tofind your own happiness, for you
to live in it, for you to soar,for you to embrace empowered
(15:32):
transformational healing,because that's what this journey
is and it's yours.
Sorry, I had to go on a rantreal quick.
Let's go back to it.
Personal transformation is acommitment to self-reflection,
moving forward, settingintentions for who you want to
(15:57):
become and taking actionablesteps towards those goals.
By engaging in the process, youassert that your past will not
hold you captive and that youare ready to craft a life that
reflects your true essence andpotential and potential.
(16:31):
This journey is about nurturingyour well-being, learning to
trust yourself again and openingup to new possibilities.
It's a powerful declarationthat you are ready to find
yourself again and live a lifethat is authentically yours the
uplifting power ofself-discovery.
(16:51):
Self-discovery is atransformative process that
empowers you to understand yourtrue self, beyond the roles and
expectations imposed by others.
It's a deep dive into yourinner world, exploring your
(17:14):
passions, your fears, yourstrengths and your limitations.
This journey of honesty andself-discovery can elevate your
sense of purpose and help youalign your life with your
deepest values.
It's about peeling back thelayers of who you think you
(17:54):
should be to reveal who youtruly are.
As you become more in tune withyour inner self, your decisions
, relationships and your lifepath reflects your authentic
identity.
This alignment creates a senseof fulfillment and joy that is
both uplifting andlife-affirming.
The power of self-discoverylies in its ability to transform
(18:19):
how you see yourself and engagewith the world around you and
engage with the world around you.
Step one a look withinself-reflection.
Self-reflection is a criticalfirst step in the journey of
self-discovery and personaltransformation.
(18:42):
It involves taking a step backto assess your thoughts,
feelings and behaviorsobjectively.
This process can help youunderstand the why behind your
actions and how past experiencesinfluence them.
(19:02):
It's about acknowledging yourhistory, recognizing patterns
that may no longer serve you andgaining clarity on your current
state of being.
Through self-reflection, youcreate the space to ask yourself
(19:23):
important questions like who amI?
What are my beliefs and values?
How do my past experiencesimpact my present?
(19:44):
Step one a look withinself-reflection.
Self-reflection is a criticalfirst step in the journey of
self-discovery and personaltransformation.
It involves taking a step backto assess your thoughts,
feelings and behaviorsobjectively.
(20:04):
This process can help youunderstand the why behind your
actions and how past experiencesinfluence them.
It's about acknowledging yourhistory, recognizing patterns
that may no longer serve you andgaining clarity on your current
(20:28):
state of being.
Through self-reflection, youcreate the space to ask yourself
important questions like who amI?
What are my beliefs and values?
How do my past experiencesimpact my present?
(20:49):
Why am I stuck?
Where do I want to be in sixmonths?
If you're seriously ready toanswer for help you go deeper
(21:30):
into discovering who you arebecause, like I said,
self-reflection is the firststep and in that you will also
get another guide, and it'sabout I'm tired.
Does this get any better guide?
You'll get those two freeguides at crystaljcom.
Forward slash yes, it do.
(21:52):
Okay.
K-r-y-s-t-a-l-j-a-ecom forwardslash yes, it do.
Step two you don't belong here.
Changing mindset.
Changing your mindset is apivotal part of the journey to
self-improvement and empowerment.
(22:14):
This step addresses thenegative thought patterns that
can hold you back from realizingyour full potential.
It's about challenging thebelief that you don't belong or
aren't good enough and replacingit with a conviction in your
(22:36):
worth and abilities.
I'm good enough and I know I'mgood enough.
I'm more than capable.
I can do all things Okay.
A negative mindset can blockhealing and growth, creating
self-doubt and fear that maystifle progress.
(23:00):
To change this, you must firstbecome aware of your inner talk
and its impact on your mood andbehavior.
Then, through mindfulness andpositive affirmations, you can
shift your thoughts fromself-criticism to self-support,
(23:24):
to self-support.
This transformation in thinkinggets you closer to finding
yourself again.
It isn't easy, but you cancultivate a mindset supporting
your journey towards a fulfilledand authentic life with
(23:45):
commitment and patience,shifting to a positive,
growth-oriented mindset.
Techniques for maintaining apositive outlook I told you I
believe in techniques and skillsand sharing them to where you
can have them, in your tool bag.
(24:07):
Even in the blogs and thearticles I publish, there's
action items.
Okay, there's skills, becausethat is essential for continue
lifing, but it's a lot easierwith life continuing to be lifen
(24:29):
when you have the skills andtools and techniques right there
with you.
Okay, now, maintaining apositive outlook can
significantly influence yourpersonal growth and happiness
journey.
To do this, begin by practicinggratitude.
(24:51):
Keep a journal where you canregularly record things you're
thankful for.
No matter how small, gratitudehelps shift focus from negative
to positive aspects of your life.
You know, that's why in theempowerment coloring book for
women that along with thecoloring pages there is check-in
(25:17):
points that says today I'mfeeling, and you can fill that
in and then today I'm gratefulfor we do.
I do those things on purposewith these check-ins, you know.
And then once a week you have abigger check-in and that is
(25:40):
here in the Empowerment ColoringBook for Women.
It includes the today I'mfeeling positive affirmations.
Today I'm grateful forsomething I'm proud of.
I want more of this and less ofthis.
What was my favorite moment ofthe day and tomorrow I look
forward to that's theempowerment coloring book for
women.
Y'all, everything is createdwith a purpose.
(26:05):
Okay, another technique is tosurround yourself with
positivity, whether that meanspeople who uplift you,
environments that comfort you.
I talk about how I like goingto certain parks in my area or
sitting by the river and,depending on how I feel that day
(26:26):
, I go to different parks.
One of the parks I go to that'sin my area.
It has like a little man-madeslash that goes into a natural
little waterfall type thing, andI like to sit right there and
I'll journal sometimes, or I'lljust sit there and I'll meditate
and it's a soothing environmentfor me.
So even the environments thatcomfort you.
(26:48):
It may be that you not leaveyour house and one thing I do is
I use, like, different waxmelts and I have the different
smells for different feelings.
Like, if I want one that iscool and refreshing, I do one
certain um, like it's like amountain fresh wax smell.
Then there is, I think, rightnow in my office, it's cashmere
(27:12):
and amberwood and it's like a,it's a soothing scent right In
my bedroom.
I have relaxing scents right.
So, and then if I'm in theliving room or even sometimes
when I'm in my office, I havemore of citrusy smells because
(27:32):
those are more energizing sense.
So even the, so you can evenmake the environment that you're
in right now be comforting toyou.
If you're someone who's goingto work and maybe you can't use
the wax nails or the smells forErica's because of whatever, you
can even do different oils andsmells and put them on your
(27:58):
wrist and smell them.
I used to do that, especiallyat my last nine to five.
I would put soothing smells onmy wrist, so then that way, or
my forearms, where I could smellmy wrist or my forearm to kind
of calm my nerves and helpsoothe me.
We're not even going to gothere.
(28:19):
Okay, why I had to have that?
But yes, you know, you makeyour environment comfortable to
you or you can do activitiesthat bring you joy.
Mindfulness and meditation canalso play a significant role in
fostering positivity.
(28:40):
By bringing your attention tothe present moment, you can
distance yourself from pastregrets and future worries.
Setting achievable goals andcelebrating small victories can
bolster your confidence andencourage a growth mindset.
(29:01):
At Remember, a positive outlookisn't about ignoring life's
challenges, but it's aboutfacing them with hope and a
positive growth attitude.
Embracing a growth mindsetmeans believing one can develop
one's abilities and intelligencethrough dedication and hard
(29:25):
work.
It's about viewing challengesas opportunities rather than
obstacles, and failures aslessons rather than setbacks.
Okay, I want to say that onemore time.
Okay, it's about embracing agrowth mindset, which means
(29:46):
believing one can elevate yourabilities and your intelligence
through dedication and hard work.
(30:11):
Right, you can do it.
I believe in you.
It's also about viewing yourchallenges as opportunities
Instead of seeing yourchallenges as obstacles and
failures.
You will see your challenges aslessons and not setbacks.
(30:38):
Now to cultivate a growthmindset, start by acknowledging
and embracing imperfections.
Yes, I know it's hard to sitthere and be like dang, like.
I do talk with a funky attitudesometimes, even when I don't
mean to.
Okay, well, you know what, ifyou do talk with a funky
(30:58):
attitude sometimes and you don'tmean to, then work on your tone
of your voice because sometimesit's the tone of your voice
that hurts people and notnecessarily the words they put
up the blocks on hearing youbecause of the tone of your
(31:22):
voice and not your words Okay,so let's work on that.
Having a healthy support systemis give and give.
It's not give and take.
We be there for others as wewant others to be there for us.
Yes, there's going to be timesto where you're going to sit
there and be like you know whatI love you, but right now I have
too much on my plate that Idon't even have the energy to
(31:49):
listen.
Right now Can you tap insomebody else on the team?
That's a good thing, because wedon't want to overwhelm someone
else.
We don't want someone else tooverwhelm us, right, and so
there has to be a balance.
(32:11):
It's about also recognizingthat you're a work in progress
and that each step, even themissteps is part of the learning
process.
Again, it's about learningright, learning from what we go
through.
Shift the focus from provingyourself to improving yourself,
(32:53):
point.
Shift the focus from provingyourself to improving yourself.
Ooh, I like that.
Now, letting go of damagingthoughts patterns.
Identifying damaged behaviorsand thought patterns.
Recognizing the damagingbehaviors and thought patterns
that undermine your well-being.
These can includeself-criticism, negative
(33:15):
attitudes and catastrophicthinking that anticipates the
worst outcomes.
Often these patterns areingrained and automatic, making
them challenging to detect andaddress.
They may be challenging, right,but you can do this.
(33:37):
I believe in you and I want youto say that you believe in you
because you are more than goodenough.
Listen closely to your innerdialogue.
So that means listen to yourinner self.
What kind of self-talk are youhaving with yourself?
(33:58):
Okay, what are you tellingyourself?
And be aware of when you mightbe labeling yourself unjustly
Now with this, just like I tellmy kids and I have them, do it
to each other, and now they doit to the whole family.
And just like we all try to doto ourselves, and especially me,
I try to do it myself.
If I notice that my inner selftalk is talking to myself
(34:21):
negatively, I tell myself threegood things as a rebuttal,
because we're not going to livein that negativity.
We're going to celebrate ourvictories.
We are going to celebrate theevolving that we're going
through, the transformationprocess that we're going through
.
It's good to have a life coach.
(34:42):
Y'all, I'm here.
You're a life coach.
You're a somatic,trauma-informed life coach.
You're a who Am I expert whocan offer an outside perspective
on your behavior patterns.
Okay, once identified, thesedetrimental thoughts and
behaviors can be activelychallenged and replaced with
(35:07):
more constructive responses,marking an important step in the
journey to finding myself again.
Learning to forgive yourself isa powerful step in letting go of
the past and moving towards afuture where you can find
(35:29):
yourself again.
You may ask why do I need toforgive myself?
Well, if you are anything likeme or any of my, you will
realize that you allowed othersto mistreat you and that you
(35:50):
mistreated yourself by allowingmistreatment.
Okay, that's deep.
Yes, some are out of ourcontrol.
Some of the mistreatmentsometimes is out of our control.
That's very valid, it is.
But let's be brutally honestwith ourselves.
(36:12):
Okay, have you ever toldyourself it is okay and maybe
you deserved it, and maybe youdeserved it?
Wow, take that to heart y'all.
(36:49):
It is time for you to make thedecision to let go of the past.
It is time for you to saytrauma, you don't define me.
Anxiousness, you don't controlme.
Sadness, you can't keep me down.
Fear, I laugh at you.
(37:13):
It's your time to silence allthe things that are running in
your head.
All the things that are runningin your head.
It is time for you to say, yes,I do love me.
(37:33):
And if you don't love youbecause there was times that I
did that, that I was like oh, doI even love myself?
I think I hate myself, I hatewhere I put myself.
But you know what you can putyourself in a better position,
but it's up to you.
I can't make you decide toovercome the suffering and
(37:59):
silence that you areexperiencing.
I can't make you stop livingyour life People pleasing
everybody else Because you'reafraid of being alone, that
you're afraid of being abandoned, that you're afraid that no one
(38:19):
will ever love you.
Because one thing that I'velearned Is that if you love you,
because one thing that I'velearned is that if you love
yourself and you show yourselfthe love that yourself deserve,
that you treat you the way youdeserve to be treated.
You're also showing otherpeople how to love you, how to
treat you, how to approach you.
(38:41):
Approach you, but it startswith you.
Yeah, it may have sucked thethings that you experienced
growing up in life, you mighthave had a good childhood that
has some pretty traumatic thingshappen but you cannot continue
(39:08):
to live your life saying I'mthis way because that is what
happened to me, because you havethe decision to be like you
know what.
I'm going to be better thanthat and I'm going to heal from
that and I'm going to move onfrom that and I'm going to show
what it means to really love, toreally be in love, to really
(39:34):
show up for others, to reallyknow how to speak to other
people, to how people knows howto speak to me and treat me, and
I'm going to do them and treatthe other people good and love
them very well.
I understand the pain.
I've been there, but I can'tcontinue to allow my past to
(40:04):
control my now or my future,because if I allow that, then
I'm going to allow the samecycles, if not worse, to go on
to my children.
(40:25):
If I don't, if I didn'tseriously heal from those things
witnessing abuse, physicalabuse, witnessing mental abuse,
(40:45):
being cursed at, seeing thatyou're not worth anything,
saying that you're worthless,calling you a b word, calling,
telling you to go f something,telling you that you're, you're
not worth anything in this life,that you you're stupid, that
you're dumb, that you are noteven worth being in this world.
(41:09):
Witness that Times to whereI've been told those things
being hit on, being sexuallyassaulted, having having medical
abuse, being disappointed bythe people in church because
(41:32):
that was supposed to be a safespace but instead I felt
attacked and judged and not safeand not where a place where God
would want me to be.
I couldn't continue to live inthose places, a place where God
would want me to be.
I can continue to live in thoseplaces and I can bring that
(41:53):
hurt and that pain and thatsuffering and silence on with me
for the rest of my life.
But then guess what your actionshas reactions and their actions
had reactions.
And if you're still reactingfrom that, then guess what
you're doing.
Your actions are passingreactions to your children.
(42:15):
Think about it.
So the more that you cover itup, the more that you say that
it's because of this.
Yes, it is, it is, it's valid.
But it's up to you to make thedecision to no longer live in
(42:41):
that pain.
It's up to you to gain yourlife back.
And honestly, if I'm beingreally real with you, it's not
even about gaining your lifeback.
It's about gaining a betterlife, having a purpose filled
(43:03):
life, having the life that youenvision for yourself.
But carrying that pain around,that trauma around, or ignoring
it or thinking you can hide awayfrom it, is not.
I want you to ask yourself areyou really hurting?
(43:25):
Are you still hurting yourself?
Because you may not be cuttingyourself.
I've tried cutting myself.
You're not cutting yourself.
You may not be swallowing pillsor drinking the pain away, or
(43:51):
smoking the pain away orshooting up the pain away or
snorting the pain away.
Are you ready to let go of thepast?
Look into yourself, embraceyour vulnerabilities, learn from
(44:20):
them so you can overcome them.
Set your boundaries, develop agrowth mindset, a positive
mindset.
Defeat the inner self-talk thatyou have, the inner negative
(44:44):
self-talk, self-talk that youhave the inner negative
self-talk, because one thingabout that inner self-talk,
especially when it's negative,is that we hear it so much it
convinces us that that's whateverybody else is saying and
(45:05):
this is not what everybody elseis saying.
If you're saying, dang, this istoo hard, here here's my hand.
Let me be your guide, because Iknow it's not easy.
Because I know it's not easyand I know sometimes you wish
(45:36):
for someone who understands andsomeone who can help you reach
that next level.
Here's my hand Let me help you.
Let me show you what empowered,transformational healing is.
Let me help put more tools,skills, techniques in your tool
(46:05):
bag that will last a lifetime.
Yeah, you're probably like manI've already been to therapy and
that didn't help me.
I still kind of felt lost, likeit helped me a little and I'm
back to where I can function,but something's missing.
That's where you get a coachand I'm right here, equipped
(46:25):
with tools, willing to give themto you.
Are you ready?
Because for the month ofNovember, I'm doing a Black
Friday sale and right now is thepre-sale.
(46:49):
With this pre-sale, you get upto 40% off of services, whether
you choose the coaching sessionsor the six-month program.
But it's up to you to takeadvantage of it and the pre-sale
(47:10):
is going to last up until BlackFriday.
And then, on Black Friday andCyber Monday, it's still going
to be a sale off the services,but it's not going to be 40%.
It's going to be less than 40%.
I still going to be a sell offthe services, but it's not going
to be 40%.
It's going to be less than 40%.
I'm going to be honest.
So this is my gift to you the40% off the coaching sessions or
(47:45):
the six month program youchoose.
But it's your time to let go ofthat past, to overcome the
suffering and silence for real,to begin healing for real.
Because most likely right now,your actions that you are making
(48:10):
today and yesterday andtomorrow Are actions that you
are taking because of reactions.
Those are your reactions Tosomeone else's actions, and the
(48:34):
people around you don't see themas reactions.
They see them as your actions.
Your kid or kids are seeingthem as your actions, and guess
what?
Then?
(48:55):
It's going to be theirreactions.
It's time for you to say yes tofinding yourself, to living your
best life, living yourpurpose-filled life, to develop
a positive mindset, to overcomethe anxiousness, to overcome the
(49:20):
doubt, to overcome theconfusion and live in positivity
.
Have self-love, because I'mtelling you, when you have the
self-love, you can love yourselfand you can love your people
(49:44):
around you way more, better andclearer than you ever loved
before.
And that's just being honest.
So how do you do this?
So how do you do this?
(50:08):
Go to crystaljcom forward slashBlack Friday Pre-Sale it's
K-R-Y-S-T-A-L-J-A-E forwardslash, black Friday Pre-Sale and
(50:32):
you get up to 40% off right now.
And you have to make thisdecision for you.
No one else can make thisdecision for you.
Okay, now I want you to do me afavor.
I want you to do me a favor.
(50:54):
I want you to share thisepisode to the first three
people on your mind.
I want you to share thisepisode with them.
Then I want you to leave me areview so that I know that I'm
giving you value.
I'm giving you the golden eggs.
Right, we use the goldennuggets.
I'm giving you the golden eggsbecause you can break them and
(51:15):
cook them and they can be ooh,yummy, goodness.
Okay.
And then, when you say yes toyourself and ready to have that
guide, that coach, that sister,that friend to walk with you, go
(51:41):
to crystaljcom forward slashBlack Friday Pre-sale up to 40%
off.
Join me in part two.
We're going to do steps threeand steps four and, as always,
remember you are not alone andyou are enough when times get
(52:06):
tough.
Pray, listen and follow through.
God loves you and trust me whenI say he is not your trauma.
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