Buried traumas often resurface in the most unexpected moments, leaving us grappling with feelings of worthlessness and confusion. Join me as I recount a vivid nightmare that became the catalyst for one of the most transformative periods of my life.
This episode is an emotional exploration of overcoming suffering in silence, where I share my journey through therapy, self-care, and the pivotal decision to choose oneself. Together, we'll confront the fear of loneliness and abandonment, learning to embrace vulnerabilities and establish healthy boundaries. By sharing this personal story, I hope to empower you to break free and find your path from pain to purpose.
Facing our inner demons requires courage and a willingness to be vulnerable. Many of us unknowingly place blocks in our lives, hindered by the fear of judgment and success. We dive into the challenging journey of self-forgiveness and recognizing patterns of self-abandonment. Through addressing our inner child and past traumas with the guidance of a trauma-informed therapist, healing is possible.
As a coach, I aim to guide you in identifying and overcoming limiting beliefs, aligning with your true values, and nurturing relationships without losing yourself. Embark on this transformative journey with me and discover the strength that lies within you.
“You are not alone, and you are enough. When times get tough, pray, listen and follow through. God loves you and trust me when I say he is not your trauma.” ~Krystal Jae
“Believe in all that you are and know that you have this inner power that is greater than any obstacle.” ~Krystal Jae
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I was at a family function and we were all out
there.
I see my cousins and my auntand my uncles and my husband and
all of our children out playingand we're barbecuing, listening
to music, playing dominoes andhaving a good time.
And then all of a sudden, thesecars come down the road and
(00:24):
when they stop, all I hear issomeone say, oh shoot.
And they run in the house.
And when they run in the house,everybody runs in the house.
You know, one person runs, weall running, and so we're in the
house and we're hiding.
They're like, oh my gosh,they're out to kill me and we
can't go anywhere.
(00:44):
And then the next thing I knowI'm up in the air in a plane,
going out the window, walkingacross the wing of the plane,
(01:06):
jumping onto another plane so Ican help save people in the air.
And then I see one person goright to the edge and I go to
reach for her arm and I grab her.
The next thing I know I'm in agrocery store and I'm hiding
behind the ship aisle.
(01:26):
And when I'm hiding I look overand I see a police officer
who's also hiding and is tellingme to shh.
I look at him and I peek aroundthe corner and I realize that
the same crew that had justinterrupted my family's
(01:49):
gathering was there robbing thestore.
And there's this little girlwho went to step out because, of
course, she probably didn'tknow any better, and I jumped up
to grab her, and that's when Iwoke up.
(02:10):
Why did I have a crazy nightmarelike that?
I have no clue, but one thingthat I do know is that it seemed
like it had been years since Ihad a good night's sleep.
My soul was exhausted and I waspast tired.
(02:31):
Have you ever been through anexperience and it changed you
forever?
Well, for me, that was mymental breakdown.
It changed me forever.
It let me know that the helpthat I continue to receive by
going to therapy and venting toother people and suffering in
silence and not sharing what I'mgoing through when I'm not in
(02:55):
therapy All it did was lead tomy ultimate mental breakdown,
breakdown, all of my traumasflooding in from since I can
remember.
To be honest, I thought I hadprocessed them and that I had
(03:17):
moved past them, but in realityI just buried them, and now they
have dug up themselves and washere and present, and it felt
like everything was the day thatit happened.
Even if it happened in mychildhood, it felt like it was
happening at the present moment.
(03:37):
Even if it happened in my youngadulthood, it felt like it was
happening at that present moment.
If it happened in my teen years, it felt like it was happening
at that present moment.
If it happened in my teen years, it felt like it was happening
in that present moment.
All of those individual traumaswas all happening at once, in
one moment, right now, and Ididn't know what to do and it
(04:02):
broke me and it broke me.
I've never even felt so muchpain, worthlessness, agony,
(04:22):
suffering, loneliness, confusion.
I didn't know what to do.
I just wanted to sleep so itcould go away.
But I couldn't sleep becausethen I'll jump up with
nightmares.
But then I couldn't stay awakebecause I didn't get enough rest
.
I couldn't eat because my bodywas in so much turmoil that it
wouldn't accept the food and thedrink that my family was trying
(04:47):
to get me to intake.
I was tired and really I wasexhausted, and if there's a word
that is beyond exhausted, it'sbeyond that.
My poor children wondering ifmom was ever going to be okay
again, not truly understandingwhat I'm going through.
(05:11):
But how could they, when Ididn't understand my poor
husband cuddling me and I knowhe was thinking please go get in
that shower, but all I did wascry, cry, pass out and wake up
screaming.
That was my routine that night,though.
I was done.
(05:33):
I wanted help.
I wanted to feel somethingother than the pain that I was
feeling.
I finally decided it was timeto choose me, love me, help me,
embrace me.
I was tired of not being enough, being lonely and being
(05:58):
abandoned, and in that moment Irealized that I had even
abandoned myself, even abandonedmyself.
Do you have a fear of lonelinessand abandonment, and is your
soul exhausted?
Be honest with yourself.
(06:18):
Yes, it may be hard to admit,but you do not have to do it
alone.
I encourage you not to abandonyourself, but take time to
overcome loneliness, fear andexhaustion placed in your life.
(06:39):
Embrace your vulnerabilities.
Establish healthy boundaries.
Discover your authentic self.
The boundaries Discover yourauthentic self.
Hey, hey, welcome.
To Overcome Suffering inSilence, it's time for you to
stop people pleasing and createyour better life.
(07:01):
I am Crystal J, the EmpowermentGoddess and your somatic,
trauma-informed Life Coach.
This season has already startedin a way I couldn't even
imagine.
Now are you ready for somerealness, raw healing and a
glimpse into what it feels liketo walk in peace, clarity and
(07:21):
purpose, while truly knowing whoyou are?
If your answer is yes, thenyou've come to the right place.
For the past two decades, I'vebeen blessed to share my journey
with countless women and a fewmen, empowering them to overcome
the lingering shadows ofphysical, emotional,
psychological and sexual abuse.
Together, we confront thelimitations that hold us back,
(07:43):
like self-doubt, guilt, fear,shame and that pervasive sense
of unworthiness.
Dig deep to uncover the root ofthese feelings.
Break free from the inner painof suffering and silence.
Find faith, grow in that faithand embrace the life that is
meant for you.
Enjoy the real stories andpractical advice, life-enhancing
(08:06):
skills and spiritual wisdom toguide you from pain to purpose,
self-doubt to confidence andconfusion to clarity.
So let's leave the struggle busbehind and embark on this
journey to discover the freedom,beauty and strength that lies
within you.
Remember you are not alone andyou are enough when times get
(08:30):
tough.
Pray, listen and follow through, because God loves you, and
trust me when I say he is notyour trauma.
Welcome to Overcome Sufferingin Silence with Crystal J.
Forgiving yourself forabandoning yourself is a hard
(08:52):
realization for some of us torealize, and I know because I
was there.
I finally realized that Iabandoned myself.
What does that?
What made that look like?
What made that look like?
For me and some of my clients,it looks like taking care of
(09:18):
everybody else and not takingcare of ourselves.
It also meant that we was ourown worst critic, poured more
negativity in ourselves thananybody else around us, in
ourselves than anybody elsearound us, because we kept
suffering in silence, tellingourselves that we're not enough,
(09:39):
that we're supposed to takecare of everybody else and
that's the only thing that we'regood for.
Took the opportunity to lookdeeper to why we never took the
(10:03):
opportunity to look deeperwithin ourselves for the root of
our agony, of our agony.
Instead, there was times towhere we would blame others, but
for the majority, we blamedourselves.
It was our fault that we weresexually abused.
It was our fault that we weremistreated.
(10:25):
It was our fault that the skywas blue.
Literally everything was ourfault.
And so you might be living yourlife thinking that everything is
your fault and that everythingisn't going better, and that
everything is going wrong inyour life, and no matter how
(10:47):
much you want it to be better.
You don't deserve for it to bebetter.
But the tricky part is, you maynot even realize that you have
that block telling you that youdon't deserve better.
Instead, you are showing thatwith your actions.
(11:08):
Instead of going for thatpromotion that you want, you're
just sitting in your currentposition silently telling
yourself that person isn'tequipped, or I should have that
position, but you're like youknow what, I'm not good enough.
(11:29):
They will never promote me.
You may be wanting to have aconversation with someone that
you feel is trustworthy, butinstead you're telling yourself
no, I can't have thatconversation, I'm just going to
be judged.
So those are examples of blocksthat you're putting in your
(11:53):
life because you're not takingaction, and so it's time for you
to not abandon yourself bystaying silent, because, just
like you're scared of everybodyelse judging you, mistreating
you, abandoning you, you aredoing those same things to
(12:18):
yourself.
It's about taking time toovercome the loneliness, fear
and exhaustion that is placed inyour life, the loneliness of if
you don't always show up or youdon't always say yes, then
(12:41):
you're that you're just going toend up in a lonely world, when,
in reality, anytime that you'realone, you feel lonely.
You can be in a room full ofpeople, but you feel lonely
because you don't feel likeanyone understands you.
(13:03):
But have a question for you Doyou understand yourself?
You live in with this fear ofabandonment, fear of judgment,
fear of seceding.
Yeah, you can have a fear ofseceding, even though in the
back of your mind, you reallywant to secede Again.
(13:25):
Fear is another block.
So you're sitting in exhaustionbecause of all of these
limiting beliefs and theseblocks in your life, and it's
time for you to embrace yourvulnerabilities.
Yes, you're like, oh my gosh, Idon't want to be vulnerable.
You're like, oh my gosh, Idon't want to be vulnerable.
(13:47):
And, to be honest, one of thehardest things that I had to do
was be vulnerable with myself.
Because, see, when we'revulnerable with others, we're
being vulnerable.
We're telling them what we'refeeling and we may even tell
(14:08):
them a little bit more than wemay have told someone else.
But when you're vulnerable withyourself, oh, you're going all
the way in, you're bringing itall up and you're saying, well,
you know what?
What can I do to change this?
This area, right here, I can'ttouch.
This area, right here, I can'ttouch this is so vulnerable that
(14:33):
my inner child has went andlocked herself away or locked
himself away and refused to comeout.
And with my inner child lockedaway, I'm not complete.
How can I open that door and bereunited?
Because once I do, I feel thatthere's going to be a whole lot
(14:55):
of pain that's going to flowinto my life and with that I say
that's where you find you agood therapist to work with.
That is trauma informed, tohelp you with opening back up,
(15:17):
because that right, there isgoing to open up a flow of some
of probably your traumaticexperiences are probably your
traumatic experiences, and soit's about having someone to
have that person, that expert,with you.
(15:39):
Do I talk about embrace yourvulnerabilities?
Yes.
Do I work with clients who areembracing their vulnerabilities?
Yes, yes, the differencebetween me and a therapist is
that when you are below yourbaseline that you need a
therapist and I'm not atherapist your therapist helps
you when you're below baselineto where you're like, oh, I
(16:01):
can't function.
To where you're not even.
To where you're at like thatpoint of, oh, maybe a mental
breakdown or almost mentalbreakdown where you're not even.
To where you're at, like thatpoint of maybe a mental
breakdown or almost mentalbreakdown where you were living
in that depression, but youhaven't any help.
You're not at your norm.
Okay, as a coach, I help youembrace your vulnerabilities
(16:25):
that are going to help you moveforward, those blockages, those
limiting beliefs, helping youdetermine your vision, your
purpose, your passion, yourneeds, your wants, and helping
you remove the obstacles outyour way so that way you can
(16:46):
succeed in accomplishing them.
Succeed in living in your values, because your values may be
different from the values thatyou were raised with, but just
(17:16):
because your values aredifferent and your, just because
your values are different,doesn't mean that you have to
abandon your family and yourfriends from the past.
And a lot of times, that's whatkeeps people from embracing
their own values, because theyfeel like they have to distance
themselves from everybody else.
And that's not necessarily true.
Especially if you have ahealthy environment, a healthy
relationship, or even if yourvalues do change, you can talk
(17:38):
to people and let them know hey,this is what I believe in and
it's about respecting each other.
It's about establishing thosehealthy boundaries.
And, yes, it's hard for us tosometimes accept new boundaries.
Just think about it when youlearn new things and someone's
(18:03):
like well, you know, say thatyou started a new job and you
have experienced in that job andthey're like, okay, well, with
your position you do A, b, c,and then such and such does D E,
(18:24):
f, and you looking at the taskand you're like, oh well, I know
how to do D-E-F.
But then when you do D-E-F theylet you know hey, you may have
know this, but you oversteppedthe boundary Because that's this
person's job and I want you tostay in yours Because things may
(18:48):
change and if things changewith D-E-F, you won't know that
change because you don't live inD-E-F, you live in A-B-C and so
it's about respecting theboundaries.
It's also like when you'replaying football or you're
(19:09):
watching football, right, youhave the guys on the field and
they're playing the game, andthen you have a teammate and the
coaches who aren't playing onthe sideline, and anytime that
the coach or the team or anybodygoes over the boundary of the
(19:30):
sideline onto the field when thegame is in motion, then guess
what, that's a penalty for thatteam.
So when you're setting healthyboundaries, when someone cross
that line, you can set a penaltyfor that, for them crossing
that line.
I've seen where one game therewas, a there was um.
(19:53):
I was watching with my husband,there was a coach and I guess
he used he's always crossingthat line because now he
literally has someone who'sliterally walking behind him,
pulling him back and everythingelse from the guys that are on
the field playing to make surehe doesn't cross that boundary.
So they learned therepercussions from crossing that
(20:19):
boundary line and so it's goingto take people, especially when
there's new boundaries, tolearn not to cross that boundary
.
But it's important for you tohave that boundary and once they
can get used to that boundaryand respect that boundary,
y'all's relationship will alsobe healthier and more successful
(20:45):
and more successful.
And when you take these stepsalong with others, they all help
you in your journey of healingand in your journey of
discovering who you are, so thatway you can start living as
(21:09):
your authentic self.
It's a process, yes, it is, butthe good news is you don't have
to discover that process.
You don't have to figure it outand wonder if it's possible,
because I'm telling you thatit's possible, figure it out and
wonder if it's possible becauseI'm telling you that it's
(21:31):
possible.
My clients have shared how it'spossible.
Because why we are there livingas our authentic selves?
Because we know who we are asindividuals.
Now Do life still happen?
Yes, but that's why we areequipped with a tool bag of
tools, which are skills andtechniques and resources to pull
(21:56):
from when we go through life,because life is going to
continue to be life.
So, if you are ready to begin todiscover your authentic self,
establishing healthy boundaries,embracing your vulnerabilities,
overcome the loneliness, thefear and the exhaustion, and
(22:19):
forgive yourself for abandoningyourself, so that way you can
live the life that you envisionthe life of purpose, the life of
fulfillment, then you go towwwcrystaljcom.
Forward slash Black Fridaypre-sale.
(22:42):
Enter your email and thenyou're going to receive a 40%
off code.
Use that code and book yourone-on-one coaching session, and
or join the six-month who am I?
Program and remember you arenot alone and you are enough
(23:07):
when things get tough, pray,listen and follow through.
God loves you and trust me whenI say he is not your trauma.
See you next week.
I was at a family function and we were all out
there.
I see my cousins and my auntand my uncles and my husband and
all of our children out playingand we're barbecuing, listening
to music, playing dominoes andhaving a good time.
And then all of a sudden, thesecars come down the road and
(00:24):
when they stop, all I hear issomeone say, oh shoot.
And they run in the house.
And when they run in the house,everybody runs in the house.
You know, one person runs, weall running, and so we're in the
house and we're hiding.
They're like, oh my gosh,they're out to kill me and we
can't go anywhere.
(00:44):
And then the next thing I knowI'm up in the air in a plane,
going out the window, walkingacross the wing of the plane,
(01:06):
jumping onto another plane so Ican help save people in the air.
And then I see one person goright to the edge and I go to
reach for her arm and I grab her.
The next thing I know I'm in agrocery store and I'm hiding
behind the ship aisle.
(01:26):
And when I'm hiding I look overand I see a police officer
who's also hiding and is tellingme to shh.
I look at him and I peek aroundthe corner and I realize that
the same crew that had justinterrupted my family's
(01:49):
gathering was there robbing thestore.
And there's this little girlwho went to step out because, of
course, she probably didn'tknow any better, and I jumped up
to grab her, and that's when Iwoke up.
(02:10):
Why did I have a crazy nightmarelike that?
I have no clue, but one thingthat I do know is that it seemed
like it had been years since Ihad a good night's sleep.
My soul was exhausted and I waspast tired.
(02:31):
Have you ever been through anexperience and it changed you
forever?
Well, for me, that was mymental breakdown.
It changed me forever.
It let me know that the helpthat I continue to receive by
going to therapy and venting toother people and suffering in
silence and not sharing what I'mgoing through when I'm not in
(02:55):
therapy All it did was lead tomy ultimate mental breakdown,
breakdown, all of my traumasflooding in from since I can
remember.
To be honest, I thought I hadprocessed them and that I had
(03:17):
moved past them, but in realityI just buried them, and now they
have dug up themselves and washere and present, and it felt
like everything was the day thatit happened.
Even if it happened in mychildhood, it felt like it was
happening at the present moment.
(03:37):
Even if it happened in my youngadulthood, it felt like it was
happening at that present moment.
If it happened in my teen years, it felt like it was happening
at that present moment.
If it happened in my teen years, it felt like it was happening
in that present moment.
All of those individual traumaswas all happening at once, in
one moment, right now, and Ididn't know what to do and it
(04:02):
broke me and it broke me.
I've never even felt so muchpain, worthlessness, agony,
(04:22):
suffering, loneliness, confusion.
I didn't know what to do.
I just wanted to sleep so itcould go away.
But I couldn't sleep becausethen I'll jump up with
nightmares.
But then I couldn't stay awakebecause I didn't get enough rest
.
I couldn't eat because my bodywas in so much turmoil that it
wouldn't accept the food and thedrink that my family was trying
(04:47):
to get me to intake.
I was tired and really I wasexhausted, and if there's a word
that is beyond exhausted, it'sbeyond that.
My poor children wondering ifmom was ever going to be okay
again, not truly understandingwhat I'm going through.
(05:11):
But how could they, when Ididn't understand my poor
husband cuddling me and I knowhe was thinking please go get in
that shower, but all I did wascry, cry, pass out and wake up
screaming.
That was my routine that night,though.
I was done.
(05:33):
I wanted help.
I wanted to feel somethingother than the pain that I was
feeling.
I finally decided it was timeto choose me, love me, help me,
embrace me.
I was tired of not being enough, being lonely and being
(05:58):
abandoned, and in that moment Irealized that I had even
abandoned myself, even abandonedmyself.
Do you have a fear of lonelinessand abandonment, and is your
soul exhausted?
Be honest with yourself.
(06:18):
Yes, it may be hard to admit,but you do not have to do it
alone.
I encourage you not to abandonyourself, but take time to
overcome loneliness, fear andexhaustion placed in your life.
(06:39):
Embrace your vulnerabilities.
Establish healthy boundaries.
Discover your authentic self.
The boundaries Discover yourauthentic self.
Hey, hey, welcome.
To Overcome Suffering inSilence, it's time for you to
stop people pleasing and createyour better life.
(07:01):
I am Crystal J, the EmpowermentGoddess and your somatic,
trauma-informed Life Coach.
This season has already startedin a way I couldn't even
imagine.
Now are you ready for somerealness, raw healing and a
glimpse into what it feels liketo walk in peace, clarity and
(07:21):
purpose, while truly knowing whoyou are?
If your answer is yes, thenyou've come to the right place.
For the past two decades, I'vebeen blessed to share my journey
with countless women and a fewmen, empowering them to overcome
the lingering shadows ofphysical, emotional,
psychological and sexual abuse.
Together, we confront thelimitations that hold us back,
(07:43):
like self-doubt, guilt, fear,shame and that pervasive sense
of unworthiness.
Dig deep to uncover the root ofthese feelings.
Break free from the inner painof suffering and silence.
Find faith, grow in that faithand embrace the life that is
meant for you.
Enjoy the real stories andpractical advice, life-enhancing
(08:06):
skills and spiritual wisdom toguide you from pain to purpose,
self-doubt to confidence andconfusion to clarity.
So let's leave the struggle busbehind and embark on this
journey to discover the freedom,beauty and strength that lies
within you.
Remember you are not alone andyou are enough when times get
(08:30):
tough.
Pray, listen and follow through, because God loves you, and
trust me when I say he is notyour trauma.
Welcome to Overcome Sufferingin Silence with Crystal J.
Forgiving yourself forabandoning yourself is a hard
(08:52):
realization for some of us torealize, and I know because I
was there.
I finally realized that Iabandoned myself.
What does that?
What made that look like?
What made that look like?
For me and some of my clients,it looks like taking care of
(09:18):
everybody else and not takingcare of ourselves.
It also meant that we was ourown worst critic, poured more
negativity in ourselves thananybody else around us, in
ourselves than anybody elsearound us, because we kept
suffering in silence, tellingourselves that we're not enough,
(09:39):
that we're supposed to takecare of everybody else and
that's the only thing that we'regood for.
Took the opportunity to lookdeeper to why we never took the
(10:03):
opportunity to look deeperwithin ourselves for the root of
our agony, of our agony.
Instead, there was times towhere we would blame others, but
for the majority, we blamedourselves.
It was our fault that we weresexually abused.
It was our fault that we weremistreated.
(10:25):
It was our fault that the skywas blue.
Literally everything was ourfault.
And so you might be living yourlife thinking that everything is
your fault and that everythingisn't going better, and that
everything is going wrong inyour life, and no matter how
(10:47):
much you want it to be better.
You don't deserve for it to bebetter.
But the tricky part is, you maynot even realize that you have
that block telling you that youdon't deserve better.
Instead, you are showing thatwith your actions.
(11:08):
Instead of going for thatpromotion that you want, you're
just sitting in your currentposition silently telling
yourself that person isn'tequipped, or I should have that
position, but you're like youknow what, I'm not good enough.
(11:29):
They will never promote me.
You may be wanting to have aconversation with someone that
you feel is trustworthy, butinstead you're telling yourself
no, I can't have thatconversation, I'm just going to
be judged.
So those are examples of blocksthat you're putting in your
(11:53):
life because you're not takingaction, and so it's time for you
to not abandon yourself bystaying silent, because, just
like you're scared of everybodyelse judging you, mistreating
you, abandoning you, you aredoing those same things to
(12:18):
yourself.
It's about taking time toovercome the loneliness, fear
and exhaustion that is placed inyour life, the loneliness of if
you don't always show up or youdon't always say yes, then
(12:41):
you're that you're just going toend up in a lonely world, when,
in reality, anytime that you'realone, you feel lonely.
You can be in a room full ofpeople, but you feel lonely
because you don't feel likeanyone understands you.
(13:03):
But have a question for you Doyou understand yourself?
You live in with this fear ofabandonment, fear of judgment,
fear of seceding.
Yeah, you can have a fear ofseceding, even though in the
back of your mind, you reallywant to secede Again.
(13:25):
Fear is another block.
So you're sitting in exhaustionbecause of all of these
limiting beliefs and theseblocks in your life, and it's
time for you to embrace yourvulnerabilities.
Yes, you're like, oh my gosh, Idon't want to be vulnerable.
You're like, oh my gosh, Idon't want to be vulnerable.
(13:47):
And, to be honest, one of thehardest things that I had to do
was be vulnerable with myself.
Because, see, when we'revulnerable with others, we're
being vulnerable.
We're telling them what we'refeeling and we may even tell
(14:08):
them a little bit more than wemay have told someone else.
But when you're vulnerable withyourself, oh, you're going all
the way in, you're bringing itall up and you're saying, well,
you know what?
What can I do to change this?
This area, right here, I can'ttouch.
This area, right here, I can'ttouch this is so vulnerable that
(14:33):
my inner child has went andlocked herself away or locked
himself away and refused to comeout.
And with my inner child lockedaway, I'm not complete.
How can I open that door and bereunited?
Because once I do, I feel thatthere's going to be a whole lot
(14:55):
of pain that's going to flowinto my life and with that I say
that's where you find you agood therapist to work with.
That is trauma informed, tohelp you with opening back up,
(15:17):
because that right, there isgoing to open up a flow of some
of probably your traumaticexperiences are probably your
traumatic experiences, and soit's about having someone to
have that person, that expert,with you.
(15:39):
Do I talk about embrace yourvulnerabilities?
Yes.
Do I work with clients who areembracing their vulnerabilities?
Yes, yes, the differencebetween me and a therapist is
that when you are below yourbaseline that you need a
therapist and I'm not atherapist your therapist helps
you when you're below baselineto where you're like, oh, I
(16:01):
can't function.
To where you're not even.
To where you're at like thatpoint of, oh, maybe a mental
breakdown or almost mentalbreakdown where you're not even.
To where you're at, like thatpoint of maybe a mental
breakdown or almost mentalbreakdown where you were living
in that depression, but youhaven't any help.
You're not at your norm.
Okay, as a coach, I help youembrace your vulnerabilities
(16:25):
that are going to help you moveforward, those blockages, those
limiting beliefs, helping youdetermine your vision, your
purpose, your passion, yourneeds, your wants, and helping
you remove the obstacles outyour way so that way you can
(16:46):
succeed in accomplishing them.
Succeed in living in your values, because your values may be
different from the values thatyou were raised with, but just
(17:16):
because your values aredifferent and your, just because
your values are different,doesn't mean that you have to
abandon your family and yourfriends from the past.
And a lot of times, that's whatkeeps people from embracing
their own values, because theyfeel like they have to distance
themselves from everybody else.
And that's not necessarily true.
Especially if you have ahealthy environment, a healthy
relationship, or even if yourvalues do change, you can talk
(17:38):
to people and let them know hey,this is what I believe in and
it's about respecting each other.
It's about establishing thosehealthy boundaries.
And, yes, it's hard for us tosometimes accept new boundaries.
Just think about it when youlearn new things and someone's
(18:03):
like well, you know, say thatyou started a new job and you
have experienced in that job andthey're like, okay, well, with
your position you do A, b, c,and then such and such does D E,
(18:24):
f, and you looking at the taskand you're like, oh well, I know
how to do D-E-F.
But then when you do D-E-F theylet you know hey, you may have
know this, but you oversteppedthe boundary Because that's this
person's job and I want you tostay in yours Because things may
(18:48):
change and if things changewith D-E-F, you won't know that
change because you don't live inD-E-F, you live in A-B-C and so
it's about respecting theboundaries.
It's also like when you'replaying football or you're
(19:09):
watching football, right, youhave the guys on the field and
they're playing the game, andthen you have a teammate and the
coaches who aren't playing onthe sideline, and anytime that
the coach or the team or anybodygoes over the boundary of the
(19:30):
sideline onto the field when thegame is in motion, then guess
what, that's a penalty for thatteam.
So when you're setting healthyboundaries, when someone cross
that line, you can set a penaltyfor that, for them crossing
that line.
I've seen where one game therewas, a there was um.
(19:53):
I was watching with my husband,there was a coach and I guess
he used he's always crossingthat line because now he
literally has someone who'sliterally walking behind him,
pulling him back and everythingelse from the guys that are on
the field playing to make surehe doesn't cross that boundary.
So they learned therepercussions from crossing that
(20:19):
boundary line and so it's goingto take people, especially when
there's new boundaries, tolearn not to cross that boundary
.
But it's important for you tohave that boundary and once they
can get used to that boundaryand respect that boundary,
y'all's relationship will alsobe healthier and more successful
(20:45):
and more successful.
And when you take these stepsalong with others, they all help
you in your journey of healingand in your journey of
discovering who you are, so thatway you can start living as
(21:09):
your authentic self.
It's a process, yes, it is, butthe good news is you don't have
to discover that process.
You don't have to figure it outand wonder if it's possible,
because I'm telling you thatit's possible, figure it out and
wonder if it's possible becauseI'm telling you that it's
(21:31):
possible.
My clients have shared how it'spossible.
Because why we are there livingas our authentic selves?
Because we know who we are asindividuals.
Now Do life still happen?
Yes, but that's why we areequipped with a tool bag of
tools, which are skills andtechniques and resources to pull
(21:56):
from when we go through life,because life is going to
continue to be life.
So, if you are ready to begin todiscover your authentic self,
establishing healthy boundaries,embracing your vulnerabilities,
overcome the loneliness, thefear and the exhaustion, and
(22:19):
forgive yourself for abandoningyourself, so that way you can
live the life that you envisionthe life of purpose, the life of
fulfillment, then you go towwwcrystaljcom.
Forward slash Black Fridaypre-sale.
(22:42):
Enter your email and thenyou're going to receive a 40%
off code.
Use that code and book yourone-on-one coaching session, and
or join the six-month who am I?
Program and remember you arenot alone and you are enough
(23:07):
when things get tough, pray,listen and follow through.
God loves you and trust me whenI say he is not your trauma.
See you next week.
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