December 4, 2024 • 33 mins
Do you often find yourself saying "yes" to everyone around you, only to feel the weight of your own needs being neglected?
Together, we'll navigate the emotional struggle of people-pleasing and self-isolation, driven by the fear of judgment and rejection.
Join me as we unravel the tangled web of suffering in silence, despite having potential sources of support.
We'll explore how negative thoughts and a sense of unworthiness can overpower your mindset, leaving you trapped in a cycle of anxiety and self-doubt.
It's time to uncover practical steps to calm your overactive sympathetic nervous system, helping you affirm your worthiness of love and respect.
In our transformative conversation, we guide you through a powerful exercise designed to unlock your inherent value and break free from limiting beliefs.
By crafting two lists—one for your present self and another for your aspirational self—you're invited to embark on an honest reflection of your current state and the path toward personal growth.
Understand the roots of your self-perceptions, challenge those nagging doubts, and set the course to become the best version of yourself.
This is more than a journey of self-discovery; it’s a call to embrace self-worth and empowerment, especially for those feeling stuck, lonely, or misunderstood. Let’s take the first step together.
“You are not alone, and you are enough. When times get tough, pray, listen and follow through. God loves you and trust me when I say he is not your trauma.” ~Krystal Jae
“Believe in all that you are and know that you have this inner power that is greater than any obstacle.” ~Krystal Jae
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
For the longest, I lived in a small five by five
box At least that's what it feltlike.
I was shy and you candefinitely say that I was
introverted.
My actions that I lived by wereyes actions, because it was
(00:20):
always a yes for everyone in mylife, no matter if they were
friends, family associates,church members, co-workers, heck
, even strangers.
All my actions were yes actions.
I wanted to please everyone.
(00:42):
I wanted to be the person thateveryone could and will count on
, like it was my purpose thateveryone had me to count on.
Now, why was that?
Because I didn't always feellike I had someone to count on,
(01:06):
so I fixed that by making surethat everyone could count on me
and it was yes, even when Ishould have been saying no.
I didn't choose myself ever,and when I did, I felt horrible.
(01:32):
I felt myself, and that ishorrible, because we shouldn't
(01:53):
feel guilt or shame for sayingyes to ourselves.
And really, while I wasbelieving that I had no one to
count on, honestly there weretimes that I did have people.
(02:15):
But you know, in my mind atthat time I didn't believe that
and I didn't want to believethat, because it hurts when you
go to someone and you find outthat they're not there for you.
(02:38):
So then it's easier to say inyour mind, no, I don't have
anyone.
It's easier to believe that andto keep it inside.
It was easier to make excuses towhy I couldn't go to other
people, like I couldn't talk to,like I would tell myself I
(03:02):
couldn't talk to my sister aboutcertain things because she's 10
years younger than me andhaven't been through all the
things that I've been through.
I couldn't talk to my mombecause we have not always been
close, so I didn't know whatversion of her I would get.
I would tell myself that.
(03:23):
Yet I would tell myself that Icouldn't talk to my grandmother
because she would always say itwill work out, being positive.
But I didn't want to hear thateither because it was
(03:43):
unbelievable and I really didn'twant to go to her because I
didn't want to let her down.
I couldn't talk to my auntbecause she would be like it'll
be okay, followed by encouragingwords that in the depths of me
there was no way I could believe.
I couldn't talk to my husbandbecause he wouldn't understand.
(04:07):
Plus, did he really love me?
What if I said something thatwould make him leave me?
It was always I couldn't talkto this person or to that person
because I will be judged, isbasically what I was saying over
(04:33):
and over and over again,whether or not it was true.
I wasn't giving people theopportunity to be present for me
most of the time Because I knewhow it felt to be misunderstood
(04:53):
.
I knew how it felt to hear itwill be okay when it was not
believable.
At that time I knew the peoplearound me were going through
their own struggles, throughtheir own stuff, and I couldn't
be a burden by sharing all thethoughts and feelings and
(05:17):
negativities that was going onin my life or in my head.
So again, fear, anxiousness,sadness, pain took over my
decisions and, ultimately, mylife.
Did I know that then?
(05:38):
No, I didn't, but I do now.
I was also saying to myselfsubconsciously that I was scared
to let someone down or I wantedto basically live up to
(06:13):
everyone's expectations, and Iwas trying to figure out how I
could do that.
I only existed to take care ofothers is what I told myself.
But guess what?
(06:33):
No one told me these things.
No one told me Crystal, I needyou to take care of me or I rely
on you to always be there forme.
No one put that burden on me,but it was what my mind did for
(06:56):
protection, because I wouldconstantly tell myself that no
one will ever understand you,even though there were times
that I was sharing my situationsor sharing my traumas or what
happened to me.
(07:16):
And I did receive the oh, it'llbe okay, or, oh, get over it,
or, you know, the let's pray.
And even though that's a goodthing, sometimes we can't
receive it because we're in somuch pain, sadness, depression,
(07:49):
overwhelmed and confused Toclimb inside ourselves and hide
(08:16):
the suffering that we're reallyfeeling.
So then we get used tosuffering in silence, living
with a mask on, and it sucks andit hurts, and we know we don't
(08:40):
want to live there.
But what are we to do?
We don't have no guidance, sowe stay stuck In pain, sometimes
lashing out Out of fear,anxiousness, loneliness,
(09:11):
anxiousness, loneliness, and weend up not really loving who we
are.
So have you ever told yourselfthat you deserve all the things
happening to you because you arenot worthy of love?
(09:38):
How about?
You have not always made thebest decisions and your past
actions have hurt people.
And now, girlfriend, karma hasshowed up in your life, or you
(10:01):
have never really felt like youtruly belong in your family,
your friend groups or life ingeneral.
You have always felt like anoutsider.
One may even say I am the blacksheep, not only in my family,
(10:26):
but in life.
Yeah, I know, because I've beenthere.
You then look back at your lifeand say I have had people
(10:48):
support me, but there are timeswhere I felt like I had no
support whatsoever.
What's wrong with me?
Am I unappreciative?
Am I horrible?
Why?
(11:08):
Why am I having negativethoughts when I can uplift?
Am I the problem?
No, you are not a problem.
Your thoughts, beliefs, fears,anxiousness, depression, sadness
(11:37):
, loneliness, low confidence andyour sense of unworthiness has
taken over.
Your mind is wired fornegativity and pain, with your
alert system staying inhyperdrive.
(12:00):
That's what's going on.
So let's tell your sympatheticnervous system to calm down.
Stop ranking the alarm.
We can do that, you know, andwe can do it together.
(12:24):
Matter of fact, we will do ittogether because you are worthy
of love, respect and grace.
It is time for you to takeaction, to saying yes, I am
worthy, for you to take actionto saying yes, I am worthy,
(12:50):
embrace worthiness, acceptworthiness and believe that you
are worthy, once, now and forall.
As you know, I am Crystal J,the Empowerment Goddess You're.
(13:11):
Who am I expert in somatic,trauma-informed life coach,
trauma Informed Life Coach whoempowers individuals like you to
know who they are, to know thatthey are worthy of success,
love, healthy and realrelationships and, honestly, I
(13:35):
help them find self-love,self-worth and self-respect,
amongst other things.
And I want you to know that youhave a power within you to
transform your own life the waythat you envision it.
(13:56):
The way that you envision it,you will wake up with peace, joy
and love.
You will know your purpose.
You will leave your house andenjoy life.
You will have real friendships,joy, life.
(14:26):
You will have real friendships.
You will have a partner wholoves you as much as you love
them.
You will feel connected withyour family and break the toxic
cycles.
You will be proud of who youare.
By knowing who you are, byknowing your abilities, by
(14:50):
knowing your confidence Whilegiving yourself grace, you will
(15:20):
have the coping skills andmechanisms that you need to
control the your life withoutfear taking over it over and
over and over again again.
(15:46):
This is a change, atransformation that will last a
lifetime, because you will beequipped with the tools
necessary to take action and bein control.
So say yes to me being yourguide, your mentor, your who am
I expert.
Go to crystaljcom forward slashbook dash online to schedule
(16:13):
your one-on-one coaching session.
That is k-R-Y-S-T-A-L-J-A-Ecomforward slash book dash online
and if you are ready to be allin, you're like I'm tired of the
(16:35):
BS.
I'm tired of the loneliness.
I'm tired living withanxiousness.
I'm tired living in thissadness.
I'm tired of being confused.
I'm tired of being manipulated.
I'm tired of not having goodrelationships and going in these
toxic cycles.
I am tired and I don't havenothing else left and I wish I
(17:04):
had someone, but no oneunderstands this and I don't
know what else there is to do.
Then it's time for you to sayyes to the six-month all-in
(17:24):
transformational who Am Iprogram.
Become your best self, know whoyou are, know who you are, have
success in your relationships,your career and your personal
life, without the limitationsfrom the trauma that you have
(17:54):
been through, because it'sconstantly taking over your life
, and you no longer have to livethat way.
So you're saying yes To you.
You're going from thatUnwantedness To being
unstoppable.
So again, crystaljaycom Forwardslash Book Dash slash book dash
(18:20):
online Worthy.
What does worthy mean to you,because to me it means being
valuable, being enough, right.
Is that fair to say?
The dictionary version ishaving worth or value, honorable
(18:45):
.
Some of the synonyms you can saywould be admirable, decent,
deserving, desirable, excellent,deserving, desirable, excellent
.
Would you use any of thosewords to describe yourself?
I bet that there is someoneactually there may even be
(19:13):
several people in your life thatwill and do use those words to
describe you.
They may say it to you, or theymay not, but they say it to
others, and they even say it tothemselves about you, and I know
you don't believe it, but we'regoing to work on that.
(19:36):
Okay it, but we're going towork on that.
Okay, because even though theymay say to you oh, my gosh, you
are so awesome, for a moment youmay be like dang, I am awesome,
like that really feels good,thank you for saying that.
But then, immediately afterthat, you're like nah, no, I'm
(20:00):
not.
Because that quick yourself-doubt and your feelings of
unworthiness crept into yourmind, telling you yeah, right,
you're not deserving, you're notdesired, you're not desired.
They are just saying thatbecause I'm right here, but
(20:25):
really they don't love me, theydon't really feel that way, but
I wish they did.
Do you have that conversationwith yourself?
Because I have, and so I wantyou to do me a favor real quick,
and I want you to right now, atthis deserving, desirable,
(21:09):
excellent, because that personmay not believe that they are.
And then, if you know someonewho is hard on themselves, I
want you to send this episode tothem at this moment.
Go ahead, do it.
I'll be right here, all right,so get ready to write.
(21:37):
Are you ready?
I hope you are Now.
Do you have your pen and paperor the notes section open on
your phone that describe who youare?
(21:58):
I want you to leave out thewords and synonyms and all the
other stuff that go with the mom, dad, parent, sister, sibling,
brother, best friend, partner,wife.
I want you to leave all ofthose out.
(22:19):
Okay, I want you to use thewords like worthy, decent,
loving, god-fearing, supportive,understanding, or however you
might see yourself, and you maybe even being saying like
Crystal, like that's a littletoo positive.
I don't know what you want, butI ain't there't there yet, and
that's fine.
I want you to use the wordsthat you describe yourself with
(22:45):
right now.
When I was at this point, Iwould use words like lonely,
confused, loved, and inparentheses I'll put well, kind
of Like.
I would definitely do that.
That was stuff I would doMisunderstood what else would I
(23:07):
say?
Sad, I'm content Figuring itout that I'm caring, that I'm a
caretaker, that I'm a lover.
You know, that was my.
That was like.
Those are some words that areexamples of the list that I
would create when I was in thatspace.
So write your 10 words down,okay.
(23:29):
And if that's your list, what Ijust said, if you feel similar
to that, that's okay.
I want you to just be honestwith yourself.
This is why we're doing this,right.
If you feel similar to that,that's okay.
I want you to just be honestwith yourself.
This is why we're doing this,right.
We're working on becoming ourbest.
You're working on becoming yourbest self, okay.
Then, after you finish those 10words, I want you to write
(23:51):
another list and I want you tohave 10 words, at least 10 words
, using words to describe whoyou want to be or what you would
like to be described as.
And if you don't know, I wantyou to think of someone that you
(24:14):
admire, that you find worthy.
What words would you use todescribe them, but not only.
What words would you use todescribe them?
I want you to really take amoment and reflect.
(24:34):
Do you silently wish thatpeople would describe you using
those same words?
And once that is done, I wantyou to write why you use the
first set of words.
Okay, write down the why.
Then I want you to write downwhat do you think needs to
(24:56):
happen in your life for you tobecome the second set of words?
Okay, and I know you may besaying, crystal, if I knew how
to become those words, I wouldalready be doing that and I
(25:20):
wouldn't be listening to this.
And I understand that.
But sometimes we know theactions that we need to take, or
we have an idea of the actionswe need to take, but we're just
not sure if we can or if weshould take them, because we're
letting fear, anxiousness, pain,judgment all of that take over.
(25:43):
Okay, so I just want you totrust the process.
Okay, so I just want you totrust the process.
And if trust is too hard of aword right now which is fine
then I want to say to you I wantyou to take the action steps.
Okay, because you see we can sit.
(26:05):
No, no, no, let's change that.
You see, we can sit.
No, no, no, let's change that.
You can sit in your belief ofunworthiness for a lifetime and
continue to live life andsatisfied with just a brief
moment of happiness, just toreturn to the deep darkness that
(26:26):
you were really residing in.
Okay, or you can wake up everymorning putting on the mask,
acting like everything is fine,telling everyone that you're
okay or yeah, I'm good whenyou're not, or and this is the
one that I hope you choose, andthis is the one that I hope you
(26:49):
choose you can wake up withpeace, knowing happiness, joy,
having clarity and experiencinggrowth, elevation, moving
forward towards your best life.
But only you can make thetransformation from unworthiness
to knowing that you are worthy.
(27:12):
I can guide you, but ultimatelyit's up for you to embrace it.
Now.
Do you want to go deeper onfinding your worth, on finding
(27:35):
your work?
Reserve your personalone-on-one coaching session at
wwwcrystaljcom and that'swwwcrystaljcom.
Go to book online and if you'reready for a full transformation
, then join the who Am Isix-month program, where you
will receive empowerment andguidance on your empowered,
(27:56):
transformational healing journey.
Receive coping skills, copingmechanisms and tools that last a
lifetime, because no one cantake away what you will learn in
this program.
Break free from the limitationsthat trauma left in your life,
like the fears, the anxiousness,the self-doubt and that sense
(28:22):
of unworthiness.
Build confidence, self-love,clarity, understanding.
Build self-love, clarity,understanding.
Build self-respect.
Add healthy boundaries, addhealthy communication.
Develop your healthy supportsystem so you can enhance your
life for the better.
So stop suffering in silencebecause you're going to be going
(28:47):
from feeling unwanted to beingunstoppable.
Instead of wishing that you hadsomeone to go to or someone to
be a guide or a mentor, insteadof just wishing it, go to
wwwcrystaljcom.
Move over to the book onlinetab wwwcrystaljcom.
Move over to the book onlinetab and accept me as your guide,
(29:11):
your life coach, your who am Iexpert, because I'm looking
forward to you seeing yourselfon the other side.
I love that the most because Ilove being able to show my
(29:31):
clients videos and work thatthey've done when we first
started and we're progressing,and then, when they get to the
end, showing them where it wasand the progress.
Oh my gosh, it's amazing andI'm looking forward to you
seeing yours.
So get out the storm, becauseyou don't have to live in it.
(29:54):
You don't have to live in thattoxic cycle, that storm of pain.
Stop living your life in theeye of the tornado, because when
you live your life in the eyeof the tornado, you are just
experiencing brief moments ofhappiness, knowing that the back
(30:17):
half of the storm is going tocome and tear your life apart
again and again and again.
It's time for you to land onsolid ground, to have, you know,
pretty skies right.
It's time for you to know yourpurpose, to get that promotion,
to start the nonprofit, to havehealthy and successful
(30:40):
relationships.
Find a life partner that isready to love you as much as you
love them, who love you as muchas you love them.
If I have a healthy partnershipwithout the toxicity and drama,
a partnership where you bothcan communicate, elevate and
succeed.
Look forward to the activitiesin your day.
(31:02):
Go on vacation.
One of my favorite things issmiling a real smile, because
there's a difference that fakeone may be good, but smiling a
real smile.
Man is everything, and you'llbe able to see that even in
yourself, and the people aroundyou will see that as well.
(31:24):
So remember you do not have tobe alone and you don't have to
do this alone.
There is true help available.
You just have to take the firststep and sign up for the
one-on-one session or theprogram.
Once you are in, I got you youwill have me to take the next
(31:47):
steps with you, guiding you onyour empowered, transformational
healing journey.
So leave a review and say yesto your best life, your purpose
and your clarity by takingaction at this time, reserve the
(32:09):
best option for you Join theprogram.
Don't be stuck in the samerotation six months from now.
And if you want a test drive ofwhat the coaching sessions is
like, book the one-on-oneindividual session Again,
(32:39):
crystaljcom, and then go over tobook online
K-R-Y-S-T-A-L-J-A-Ecom.
Go to the tab book online.
Thank you for listening to.
Overcome, suffering in Silencewith Crystal J me, hey and take
action today.
Get ready for the next episode.
(32:59):
And, as always, I want you toremember that you have a power
inside you that is greater thanany obstacle.
You just need the knowledge andwisdom to activate it.
So let's do it.
For the longest, I lived in a small five by five
box At least that's what it feltlike.
I was shy and you candefinitely say that I was
introverted.
My actions that I lived by wereyes actions, because it was
(00:20):
always a yes for everyone in mylife, no matter if they were
friends, family associates,church members, co-workers, heck
, even strangers.
All my actions were yes actions.
I wanted to please everyone.
(00:42):
I wanted to be the person thateveryone could and will count on
, like it was my purpose thateveryone had me to count on.
Now, why was that?
Because I didn't always feellike I had someone to count on,
(01:06):
so I fixed that by making surethat everyone could count on me
and it was yes, even when Ishould have been saying no.
I didn't choose myself ever,and when I did, I felt horrible.
(01:32):
I felt myself, and that ishorrible, because we shouldn't
(01:53):
feel guilt or shame for sayingyes to ourselves.
And really, while I wasbelieving that I had no one to
count on, honestly there weretimes that I did have people.
(02:15):
But you know, in my mind atthat time I didn't believe that
and I didn't want to believethat, because it hurts when you
go to someone and you find outthat they're not there for you.
(02:38):
So then it's easier to say inyour mind, no, I don't have
anyone.
It's easier to believe that andto keep it inside.
It was easier to make excuses towhy I couldn't go to other
people, like I couldn't talk to,like I would tell myself I
(03:02):
couldn't talk to my sister aboutcertain things because she's 10
years younger than me andhaven't been through all the
things that I've been through.
I couldn't talk to my mombecause we have not always been
close, so I didn't know whatversion of her I would get.
I would tell myself that.
(03:23):
Yet I would tell myself that Icouldn't talk to my grandmother
because she would always say itwill work out, being positive.
But I didn't want to hear thateither because it was
(03:43):
unbelievable and I really didn'twant to go to her because I
didn't want to let her down.
I couldn't talk to my auntbecause she would be like it'll
be okay, followed by encouragingwords that in the depths of me
there was no way I could believe.
I couldn't talk to my husbandbecause he wouldn't understand.
(04:07):
Plus, did he really love me?
What if I said something thatwould make him leave me?
It was always I couldn't talkto this person or to that person
because I will be judged, isbasically what I was saying over
(04:33):
and over and over again,whether or not it was true.
I wasn't giving people theopportunity to be present for me
most of the time Because I knewhow it felt to be misunderstood
(04:53):
.
I knew how it felt to hear itwill be okay when it was not
believable.
At that time I knew the peoplearound me were going through
their own struggles, throughtheir own stuff, and I couldn't
be a burden by sharing all thethoughts and feelings and
(05:17):
negativities that was going onin my life or in my head.
So again, fear, anxiousness,sadness, pain took over my
decisions and, ultimately, mylife.
Did I know that then?
(05:38):
No, I didn't, but I do now.
I was also saying to myselfsubconsciously that I was scared
to let someone down or I wantedto basically live up to
(06:13):
everyone's expectations, and Iwas trying to figure out how I
could do that.
I only existed to take care ofothers is what I told myself.
But guess what?
(06:33):
No one told me these things.
No one told me Crystal, I needyou to take care of me or I rely
on you to always be there forme.
No one put that burden on me,but it was what my mind did for
(06:56):
protection, because I wouldconstantly tell myself that no
one will ever understand you,even though there were times
that I was sharing my situationsor sharing my traumas or what
happened to me.
(07:16):
And I did receive the oh, it'llbe okay, or, oh, get over it,
or, you know, the let's pray.
And even though that's a goodthing, sometimes we can't
receive it because we're in somuch pain, sadness, depression,
(07:49):
overwhelmed and confused Toclimb inside ourselves and hide
(08:16):
the suffering that we're reallyfeeling.
So then we get used tosuffering in silence, living
with a mask on, and it sucks andit hurts, and we know we don't
(08:40):
want to live there.
But what are we to do?
We don't have no guidance, sowe stay stuck In pain, sometimes
lashing out Out of fear,anxiousness, loneliness,
(09:11):
anxiousness, loneliness, and weend up not really loving who we
are.
So have you ever told yourselfthat you deserve all the things
happening to you because you arenot worthy of love?
(09:38):
How about?
You have not always made thebest decisions and your past
actions have hurt people.
And now, girlfriend, karma hasshowed up in your life, or you
(10:01):
have never really felt like youtruly belong in your family,
your friend groups or life ingeneral.
You have always felt like anoutsider.
One may even say I am the blacksheep, not only in my family,
(10:26):
but in life.
Yeah, I know, because I've beenthere.
You then look back at your lifeand say I have had people
(10:48):
support me, but there are timeswhere I felt like I had no
support whatsoever.
What's wrong with me?
Am I unappreciative?
Am I horrible?
Why?
(11:08):
Why am I having negativethoughts when I can uplift?
Am I the problem?
No, you are not a problem.
Your thoughts, beliefs, fears,anxiousness, depression, sadness
(11:37):
, loneliness, low confidence andyour sense of unworthiness has
taken over.
Your mind is wired fornegativity and pain, with your
alert system staying inhyperdrive.
(12:00):
That's what's going on.
So let's tell your sympatheticnervous system to calm down.
Stop ranking the alarm.
We can do that, you know, andwe can do it together.
(12:24):
Matter of fact, we will do ittogether because you are worthy
of love, respect and grace.
It is time for you to takeaction, to saying yes, I am
worthy, for you to take actionto saying yes, I am worthy,
(12:50):
embrace worthiness, acceptworthiness and believe that you
are worthy, once, now and forall.
As you know, I am Crystal J,the Empowerment Goddess You're.
(13:11):
Who am I expert in somatic,trauma-informed life coach,
trauma Informed Life Coach whoempowers individuals like you to
know who they are, to know thatthey are worthy of success,
love, healthy and realrelationships and, honestly, I
(13:35):
help them find self-love,self-worth and self-respect,
amongst other things.
And I want you to know that youhave a power within you to
transform your own life the waythat you envision it.
(13:56):
The way that you envision it,you will wake up with peace, joy
and love.
You will know your purpose.
You will leave your house andenjoy life.
You will have real friendships,joy, life.
(14:26):
You will have real friendships.
You will have a partner wholoves you as much as you love
them.
You will feel connected withyour family and break the toxic
cycles.
You will be proud of who youare.
By knowing who you are, byknowing your abilities, by
(14:50):
knowing your confidence Whilegiving yourself grace, you will
(15:20):
have the coping skills andmechanisms that you need to
control the your life withoutfear taking over it over and
over and over again again.
(15:46):
This is a change, atransformation that will last a
lifetime, because you will beequipped with the tools
necessary to take action and bein control.
So say yes to me being yourguide, your mentor, your who am
I expert.
Go to crystaljcom forward slashbook dash online to schedule
(16:13):
your one-on-one coaching session.
That is k-R-Y-S-T-A-L-J-A-Ecomforward slash book dash online
and if you are ready to be allin, you're like I'm tired of the
(16:35):
BS.
I'm tired of the loneliness.
I'm tired living withanxiousness.
I'm tired living in thissadness.
I'm tired of being confused.
I'm tired of being manipulated.
I'm tired of not having goodrelationships and going in these
toxic cycles.
I am tired and I don't havenothing else left and I wish I
(17:04):
had someone, but no oneunderstands this and I don't
know what else there is to do.
Then it's time for you to sayyes to the six-month all-in
(17:24):
transformational who Am Iprogram.
Become your best self, know whoyou are, know who you are, have
success in your relationships,your career and your personal
life, without the limitationsfrom the trauma that you have
(17:54):
been through, because it'sconstantly taking over your life
, and you no longer have to livethat way.
So you're saying yes To you.
You're going from thatUnwantedness To being
unstoppable.
So again, crystaljaycom Forwardslash Book Dash slash book dash
(18:20):
online Worthy.
What does worthy mean to you,because to me it means being
valuable, being enough, right.
Is that fair to say?
The dictionary version ishaving worth or value, honorable
(18:45):
.
Some of the synonyms you can saywould be admirable, decent,
deserving, desirable, excellent,deserving, desirable, excellent
.
Would you use any of thosewords to describe yourself?
I bet that there is someoneactually there may even be
(19:13):
several people in your life thatwill and do use those words to
describe you.
They may say it to you, or theymay not, but they say it to
others, and they even say it tothemselves about you, and I know
you don't believe it, but we'regoing to work on that.
(19:36):
Okay it, but we're going towork on that.
Okay, because even though theymay say to you oh, my gosh, you
are so awesome, for a moment youmay be like dang, I am awesome,
like that really feels good,thank you for saying that.
But then, immediately afterthat, you're like nah, no, I'm
(20:00):
not.
Because that quick yourself-doubt and your feelings of
unworthiness crept into yourmind, telling you yeah, right,
you're not deserving, you're notdesired, you're not desired.
They are just saying thatbecause I'm right here, but
(20:25):
really they don't love me, theydon't really feel that way, but
I wish they did.
Do you have that conversationwith yourself?
Because I have, and so I wantyou to do me a favor real quick,
and I want you to right now, atthis deserving, desirable,
(21:09):
excellent, because that personmay not believe that they are.
And then, if you know someonewho is hard on themselves, I
want you to send this episode tothem at this moment.
Go ahead, do it.
I'll be right here, all right,so get ready to write.
(21:37):
Are you ready?
I hope you are Now.
Do you have your pen and paperor the notes section open on
your phone that describe who youare?
(21:58):
I want you to leave out thewords and synonyms and all the
other stuff that go with the mom, dad, parent, sister, sibling,
brother, best friend, partner,wife.
I want you to leave all ofthose out.
(22:19):
Okay, I want you to use thewords like worthy, decent,
loving, god-fearing, supportive,understanding, or however you
might see yourself, and you maybe even being saying like
Crystal, like that's a littletoo positive.
I don't know what you want, butI ain't there't there yet, and
that's fine.
I want you to use the wordsthat you describe yourself with
(22:45):
right now.
When I was at this point, Iwould use words like lonely,
confused, loved, and inparentheses I'll put well, kind
of Like.
I would definitely do that.
That was stuff I would doMisunderstood what else would I
(23:07):
say?
Sad, I'm content Figuring itout that I'm caring, that I'm a
caretaker, that I'm a lover.
You know, that was my.
That was like.
Those are some words that areexamples of the list that I
would create when I was in thatspace.
So write your 10 words down,okay.
(23:29):
And if that's your list, what Ijust said, if you feel similar
to that, that's okay.
I want you to just be honestwith yourself.
This is why we're doing this,right.
If you feel similar to that,that's okay.
I want you to just be honestwith yourself.
This is why we're doing this,right.
We're working on becoming ourbest.
You're working on becoming yourbest self, okay.
Then, after you finish those 10words, I want you to write
(23:51):
another list and I want you tohave 10 words, at least 10 words
, using words to describe whoyou want to be or what you would
like to be described as.
And if you don't know, I wantyou to think of someone that you
(24:14):
admire, that you find worthy.
What words would you use todescribe them, but not only.
What words would you use todescribe them?
I want you to really take amoment and reflect.
(24:34):
Do you silently wish thatpeople would describe you using
those same words?
And once that is done, I wantyou to write why you use the
first set of words.
Okay, write down the why.
Then I want you to write downwhat do you think needs to
(24:56):
happen in your life for you tobecome the second set of words?
Okay, and I know you may besaying, crystal, if I knew how
to become those words, I wouldalready be doing that and I
(25:20):
wouldn't be listening to this.
And I understand that.
But sometimes we know theactions that we need to take, or
we have an idea of the actionswe need to take, but we're just
not sure if we can or if weshould take them, because we're
letting fear, anxiousness, pain,judgment all of that take over.
(25:43):
Okay, so I just want you totrust the process.
Okay, so I just want you totrust the process.
And if trust is too hard of aword right now which is fine
then I want to say to you I wantyou to take the action steps.
Okay, because you see we can sit.
(26:05):
No, no, no, let's change that.
You see, we can sit.
No, no, no, let's change that.
You can sit in your belief ofunworthiness for a lifetime and
continue to live life andsatisfied with just a brief
moment of happiness, just toreturn to the deep darkness that
(26:26):
you were really residing in.
Okay, or you can wake up everymorning putting on the mask,
acting like everything is fine,telling everyone that you're
okay or yeah, I'm good whenyou're not, or and this is the
one that I hope you choose, andthis is the one that I hope you
(26:49):
choose you can wake up withpeace, knowing happiness, joy,
having clarity and experiencinggrowth, elevation, moving
forward towards your best life.
But only you can make thetransformation from unworthiness
to knowing that you are worthy.
(27:12):
I can guide you, but ultimatelyit's up for you to embrace it.
Now.
Do you want to go deeper onfinding your worth, on finding
(27:35):
your work?
Reserve your personalone-on-one coaching session at
wwwcrystaljcom and that'swwwcrystaljcom.
Go to book online and if you'reready for a full transformation
, then join the who Am Isix-month program, where you
will receive empowerment andguidance on your empowered,
(27:56):
transformational healing journey.
Receive coping skills, copingmechanisms and tools that last a
lifetime, because no one cantake away what you will learn in
this program.
Break free from the limitationsthat trauma left in your life,
like the fears, the anxiousness,the self-doubt and that sense
(28:22):
of unworthiness.
Build confidence, self-love,clarity, understanding.
Build self-love, clarity,understanding.
Build self-respect.
Add healthy boundaries, addhealthy communication.
Develop your healthy supportsystem so you can enhance your
life for the better.
So stop suffering in silencebecause you're going to be going
(28:47):
from feeling unwanted to beingunstoppable.
Instead of wishing that you hadsomeone to go to or someone to
be a guide or a mentor, insteadof just wishing it, go to
wwwcrystaljcom.
Move over to the book onlinetab wwwcrystaljcom.
Move over to the book onlinetab and accept me as your guide,
(29:11):
your life coach, your who am Iexpert, because I'm looking
forward to you seeing yourselfon the other side.
I love that the most because Ilove being able to show my
(29:31):
clients videos and work thatthey've done when we first
started and we're progressing,and then, when they get to the
end, showing them where it wasand the progress.
Oh my gosh, it's amazing andI'm looking forward to you
seeing yours.
So get out the storm, becauseyou don't have to live in it.
(29:54):
You don't have to live in thattoxic cycle, that storm of pain.
Stop living your life in theeye of the tornado, because when
you live your life in the eyeof the tornado, you are just
experiencing brief moments ofhappiness, knowing that the back
(30:17):
half of the storm is going tocome and tear your life apart
again and again and again.
It's time for you to land onsolid ground, to have, you know,
pretty skies right.
It's time for you to know yourpurpose, to get that promotion,
to start the nonprofit, to havehealthy and successful
(30:40):
relationships.
Find a life partner that isready to love you as much as you
love them, who love you as muchas you love them.
If I have a healthy partnershipwithout the toxicity and drama,
a partnership where you bothcan communicate, elevate and
succeed.
Look forward to the activitiesin your day.
(31:02):
Go on vacation.
One of my favorite things issmiling a real smile, because
there's a difference that fakeone may be good, but smiling a
real smile.
Man is everything, and you'llbe able to see that even in
yourself, and the people aroundyou will see that as well.
(31:24):
So remember you do not have tobe alone and you don't have to
do this alone.
There is true help available.
You just have to take the firststep and sign up for the
one-on-one session or theprogram.
Once you are in, I got you youwill have me to take the next
(31:47):
steps with you, guiding you onyour empowered, transformational
healing journey.
So leave a review and say yesto your best life, your purpose
and your clarity by takingaction at this time, reserve the
(32:09):
best option for you Join theprogram.
Don't be stuck in the samerotation six months from now.
And if you want a test drive ofwhat the coaching sessions is
like, book the one-on-oneindividual session Again,
(32:39):
crystaljcom, and then go over tobook online
K-R-Y-S-T-A-L-J-A-Ecom.
Go to the tab book online.
Thank you for listening to.
Overcome, suffering in Silencewith Crystal J me, hey and take
action today.
Get ready for the next episode.
(32:59):
And, as always, I want you toremember that you have a power
inside you that is greater thanany obstacle.
You just need the knowledge andwisdom to activate it.
So let's do it.
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