December 19, 2024 • 37 mins
What if the secret to overcoming life's obstacles lies in finding contentment and faith in yourself and something greater?
We explore the profound message of finding contentment and fulfillment through faith while overcoming challenges and self-doubt. Join us as we share personal stories, biblical insights, and encouragement for creating a life filled with purpose and peace.
- Unpack the powerful message of of Philippians 4:13 and its impact on faith and strength
- Journey of Self-Doubt to Empowerment
- Embracing your inner strength can lead to true fulfillment
- Share personal experiences of overcoming struggles and self-doubt
- Peace, joy, and fulfillment aren't just distant ideals but present realities
- Examining concepts of embracing contentment and fulfillment in our everyday experiences and within a biblical context.
- God's presence is constant, even in difficult times.
- An intimate relationship with God provides comfort and strength.
- Trusting God's purpose can guide us through trials.
- Address the importance of community and connection during tough times
- Believing in oneself is crucial for personal growth..
Calls to Action:
Share this episode with three individuals that you would like to empower.
If you are ready to go deeper, schedule your program consultation at www.krystaljae.com/book-online.
“You are not alone, and you are enough. When times get tough, pray, listen and follow through. God loves you and trust me when I say he is not your trauma.” ~Krystal Jae
“Believe in all that you are and know that you have this inner power that is greater than any obstacle.” ~Krystal Jae
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Krystal Jae (00:03):
Have you ever had someone tell you, or have you
told your child that they can doanything that they can put
their mind to?
Did you get it from Philippians4.13?
I can do all things throughChrist, who gives me strength.
Now, did you know that it is asaying or a scripture that many
(00:26):
athletes, competitors and thosewho need that boost of
encouragement say to each otherand to themselves?
Now, when I was a teenager, Iwould tell myself that I could
do all things, but it wasn'tthrough Christ who gives me
strength, and I didn't say itwith conviction or believe it,
(00:49):
not even a little bit.
It was more of a I can do it.
I can do such and such, becauseif I don't do it, I will be
forgotten about or I will be notliked.
So therefore, I can do it.
Okay.
But it wasn't until I found outthat I was pregnant with my
(01:12):
firstborn that I was like I cando this and mean it with
everything in me.
I began praying, asking God tohelp me, because I wanted to be
the best mom possible and Ineeded God and his angels to
(01:32):
protect me and my baby while Ilearned to do my best, be my
best and give my best, my bestand give my best.
(01:53):
But then, as always, life beganlifing.
Slowly but surely, I started tolearn what Philippians 4.13
really meant and how grateful Iwas for that.
Now, this is the perfect timefor you to go ahead and share
this episode with three people.
Okay, I'll be right here andI'll wait for you.
Go ahead and hit that sharebutton real quick.
(02:14):
Hey, hey, welcome.
To Overcome Suffering in Silence, it's time for you to stop
people pleasing and create yourbetter life.
I, Krystal Jae , TheEmpowerment Goddess and your
Somatic Trauma-Informed LifeCoach.
This season has already startedin a way I couldn't even
imagine.
(02:34):
Now, are you ready for somerealness, raw healing and a
glimpse into what it feels liketo walk in peace, clarity and
purpose, while truly knowing whoyou are?
If your answer is yes, thenyou've come to the right place.
For the past two decades, I'vebeen blessed to share my journey
with countless women and a fewmen, empowering them to overcome
(02:57):
the lingering shadows ofphysical, emotional,
psychological and sexual abuse.
Together, we confront thelimitations that hold us back,
like self-doubt, guilt, fear,shame and that pervasive sense
of unworthiness.
Dig deep to uncover the root ofthese feelings.
Break free from the inner painof suffering and silence, find
(03:21):
faith, grow in that faith andembrace the life that is meant
for you.
Enjoy the real stories andpractical advice, life enhancing
skills and spiritual wisdom toguide you from pain to purpose,
self-doubt to confidence andconfusion to clarity.
So let's leave the struggle busbehind and embark on this
(03:43):
journey to discover the freedom,beauty and strength that lies
within you.
Remember you are not alone andyou are enough.
When times get tough, pray,listen and follow through,
because God loves you and trustme when I say he is not your
trauma.
Welcome to Overcome Sufferingin silence with crystal jay.
(04:10):
A couple years ago, I did myfirst sermon speech whatever you
want to call it, because I'mnot a pastor, but hey, I got to.
I got the honor of sharinggod's word and the title of that
was Embrace Contentment andFind True Fulfillment.
Isn't that powerful?
Because it was, and so today Iwant to share that with you.
(04:33):
Is that okay?
So we're going to start withembrace contentment.
What does embrace mean in thedictionary?
So, in the dictionary, embracemeans it's an act of accepting
or supporting somethingwillingly or enthusiastically.
Okay.
In the Bible it can be more ofto clasp and hold fondly, to
(04:57):
receive, to admit.
You see, we embrace, right, weembrace our loved ones, our
church, family, our closefriends, and there are some
people who embraces everyone,right, they may like, oh you
know, they just love to embraceand to accept or to hold fondly.
Now, whether that embracementis a healthy one or not, we're
(05:20):
not having that discussion today, okay or not.
We're not having thatdiscussion today.
Okay.
Now, contentment.
Contentment in the dictionaryis a state of happiness and
satisfaction, being comfortablein any situation.
Now, I've been in somesituations and many were not
comfortable at all, but I alsodid not know contentment as well
(05:45):
.
Okay, now, some places that youmay have felt discontentment
would be like in your work, yourmarriage and with your children
, friendships, maybe your churchand your success, right, your
finances.
But the one thing aboutdiscontentment in God is that
God has us at all times.
(06:08):
We just have to know andbelieve that he's there.
Now, in the Bible, contentmentmeans to be pleased or satisfied
, to have a state of peacefulhappiness.
Now, I don't know about y'all,but I know that I love being at
(06:31):
the state of peacefulness, right, I love to be happy, I love to
have joy, and if you don't, Iwant you to know.
Those are things that you canhave right, that's the purpose
of overcome suffering andsilence.
Right Is for you to learn tohave that peace in your life, to
(06:55):
have that joy in your life, tohave that happiness in your life
.
Okay, fulfillment, because thiswas embrace contentment and
find true fulfillment.
So what does fulfillment mean?
So, in fulfillment in thedictionary means the achievement
of something desired, promisedor predicted.
Right In the Bible, it kind ofsays to complete, bring to an
(07:18):
end.
Now I want you to think of atime that you may have been
unfulfilled.
Okay, when were those times foryou?
When were you unfulfilled?
Now?
Some examples could be you wentfor a raise and you didn't get
it.
Or your relationships are toxicand they include maybe some
(07:39):
narcissistic behaviors, cheating, lack of communication.
Right, it could be feelingmisunderstood, friends not
having free time for you, avacation being canceled, not
having the finances that youwant or need.
Or it could be having asuccessful career and still
(08:01):
feeling unfulfilled career andstill feeling unfulfilled.
Do any of that relates to you?
I know some of it related to meand some of it has related to
my clients.
Now it's time to do theopposite.
I want you to think about thefeelings that you felt when you
(08:23):
were fulfilled.
How did that feel emotionally?
How did it feel physically?
Were you happy?
Were you waking up in themornings and ready for your day?
Were you picking up the phoneand calling and texting people,
or putting more posts out onsocial media or whatever else?
(08:46):
What were you doing when youfelt fulfilled?
How did that feel for you?
How did that?
How did you feel in your mind?
How did it feel in your body?
How did it feel in your spirit?
Right?
So some things I want you tothink about when times that we
have been fulfilled is.
You received that raise.
You have a successful andhealthy relationship.
(09:06):
You feel heard and understood.
You got more than what youexpected from an answer.
You had a great time with afriend.
You had the best much neededvacation Y'all.
I had a vacation in November andit was so much needed.
I didn't realize how much Ineeded that vacation.
Y'all.
I had a vacation in Novemberand it was so much needed.
I didn't realize how much Ineeded that vacation.
(09:26):
But me and my husband, we wenton a cruise with my in-laws and
we had a great time.
I came back with a cold, butit's all good, but it felt good
and it was good to be fulfilledin that moment, to have that
fulfillment because I didn'tknow I was missing that peace.
So it took my sense ofhappiness and my sense of peace
(09:50):
and took it to an even biggerlevel and, believe me, I was
accepting to that and I wantthat for you.
Right, because being fulfilledfeels great right Now, of course
, with God, with him, we can befulfilled with all things.
We can live life with true peaceand grace.
(10:12):
Okay, now the truth aboutPhilippians 4.13, for I can do
everything through Christ, whogives me strength.
I want to go through verse 10with you.
Okay, it says how I praise theLord that you are concerned
about me.
Strength.
I want to go through verse 10with you.
Okay, it says how I praise theLord that you are concerned
about me.
Again, I know you have alwaysbeen concerned for me, but you
(10:33):
didn't have the chance to helpme.
Now, in this, paul is writing tothe church in Philippi to let
them know that he appreciateatesthat they are concerned about
him, but they can't help him outof prison or with the beating
that him and Silas enduredbefore being thrown into prison.
(10:54):
Right, they are now in prison.
They're shackled to the actualguards and they can't escape.
So I want to know, or I wantyou to think about how many
times have you felt beat downand shackled?
How did that feel Now?
(11:16):
Did those chains come free?
Were you released from thoseshackles by yourself, or did
they do them by themselves?
Did they just all of a suddenbe like oop, poof, gone and
there's no issue?
You're no longer feelingshackled anymore.
(11:36):
Is that how it was?
Or did you ask God to break youfree from the circumstances
that you were in?
Did you let go and let God?
How many times have you heardthat phrase?
Oh, let go and let God.
What does that mean to you?
I want you to think about that.
(11:57):
Okay Now, in that process ofthe shackles being taken off of
you, did you fight and worry andtry anything possible to be
free again, or did someone comeand save you?
(12:17):
Are you still feeling shackledand you wish you could be set
free?
Which one is it for you Now?
In verse 11, it says not that Iwas ever in need for.
I have learned how to becontent with whatever I have.
(12:38):
I know how to live on almostnothing or with everything.
I have learned the secret ofliving in every situation,
whether it is with a fullstomach or empty, with plenty or
little.
Now what I think Paul is sayinghere is I am fine.
(12:59):
I don't need anythingextraordinary, as through my
trials and tribulations and mylife circumstances, I have
learned to be at peace andwithout worry with whatever I
have.
I know what it feels like to bepoor and I know what it feels
(13:20):
like to be rich.
I know what it is to be fulland I know hunger.
That's what I get from that.
What about you?
What do you hear from that?
Now, just like when a couple saytheir vows when they're getting
married, right, we say forbetter, for worse, for richer,
(13:43):
for poorer, in sickness and inhealth, till death.
Do us part.
The glory is is that with Godthere is no death.
Do us part, as we are then inheaven with him.
He provides all our needs hereon earth and just asks us to be
faithful to him.
Share his word so that othersmay get to know him.
He provides all our needs hereon earth and just asks us to be
faithful to him.
(14:03):
Share his word so that othersmay get to know him.
Now, how is that for peace, toknow that there is someone that
will always have your back,someone that will always listen
and someone that will alwayslove you.
Because, let's be honest, thosethree things is something that
(14:25):
a lot of us have struggled withis having someone to have your
back, having someone that willlisten to you, having someone
that will love you, or feelinglike someone actually loves you
and loves you for you right Now.
4.13, I can do everythingthrough Christ who gives me
(14:49):
strength.
What does that mean?
For I can do everything throughChrist who gives me strength.
You see, paul is letting thechurch know that through Christ
he can do everything, he canmake it through everything.
And now it doesn't mean to goto work, okay, and do the
(15:15):
minimum and then expect to get a$2 raise Because, I mean, did
you do the work for that $2raise?
You can't just expect it andnot be doing the work right Now.
This one, I am even guilty forShowing up at church and being
(15:37):
like.
I did my part.
I showed up and now I'm justgoing to move on about my week
and not serve the Lord for therest of the week.
How many times have you heardoh, be in the club on Saturday
and in church on Sunday.
That was definitely me for awhile, and I know there's a lot
of people who you know do thatand then they go to church and
(15:59):
then when they go into church,you know they're serving in the
church and they are bringing Godwith them through everything
that they do.
I can admit that I wasdefinitely one that would go to
the club Saturday night, be inthe church on Sunday morning and
then Sunday afternoon I'm backout in the streets, you know
doing my thing and I'm notserving the Lord.
(16:21):
I'm not doing Bible study, I'mnot doing devotionals, I don't
have a prayer life Like that wasme in one part of my life.
But the one thing is we are toshare his word right, we are to
work in God's house.
Right, we are to work in God'shouse.
(16:42):
We are to show and be examplesof God's love, god's respect,
god's acceptance.
Right, because we are hischildren and we're supposed to
accept each other, because noneof us is perfect, but we shall
be his disciples and show hisgrace, his mercy.
(17:04):
Don't you think so?
Now?
I know, I know some of it mayhave stung, but it's okay
because we are talking about thetruth.
Okay, and when I realized whatPhilippians 4.13 really meant,
and it wasn't just a oh.
(17:24):
I can do all things throughChrist, who gives me strength.
He's going to give me thestrength to go out here and I'm
going to be the best at thistrack meet and I'm going to be
the best on my job.
But in reality, I'm notpracticing for that track meet.
In reality, I'm showing up lateto work, I'm leaving early from
(17:46):
work, I'm calling in from work,I'm not doing my best when I'm
there.
How are we supposed to get allthat goodness if we're not
putting in the work Same thing?
We're supposed to be going outthere and showing the love, the
respect, the grace, because ifwe want that, we should also be
giving that.
(18:06):
But we shouldn't be giving thatand expected to get it back.
We should be giving it becausewe are disciples of Christ.
We are sharing his word, we'resharing his love.
Right Now, god has seen methrough some difficult times.
(18:28):
He seen me when I wascompletely broken and he was
there when I was doing reallywell, like purchasing my home.
God guided me as a singlemother when I felt less than and
didn't feel like I was worthyor enough for my child.
(18:54):
God was there for me when Ilost almost everything my job,
my savings, the CDs I had for meand my child, when I lost the
home I had for me and my child.
He was there when I lost my car, like I lost all of that at one
time while still dealing withother things.
(19:18):
It was a difficult, difficulttime and I didn't believe that I
had anything left, like I waslike man.
I'm a single mom, I'm doing thething.
I'm not only taking care of mychild by myself, but I'm able to
(19:39):
feed us, I'm able to have anice car, I'm able to have not
only a savings but also a CD andthen losing all of that it took
me down because I was like,okay, now I haven't accomplished
(20:00):
nothing.
Everything that I worked sohard for was gone.
So I know the feeling ofwondering where I was going to
get the money for groceries, howI was going to pay the light
bill or how I was going to putgas in my car.
And this may not be your story,but it's mine and for some of my
(20:23):
clients theirs has been similar.
Theirs have also been lookedlike maybe missing the deadline
on an important project at work,not raising enough money for a
finance project not beingapproved for the new house, or
experiencing a partner cheating.
It could have been that youknow you have a business but
(20:46):
it's not bringing in profits, orthat you're kind of being like,
oh, I'm missing something, butI don't know what it is.
My marriage is awesome, mymarriage is awesome, my home is
beautiful.
I love my career, dang, butsomething is missing.
(21:13):
What is it?
Is that?
You have you ever felt likesomething is missing?
You have everything that youhave ever wanted, but something
is still missing.
Is that?
You?
Have you been there?
(21:34):
Are you still there?
You know, there was times thatI was struggling.
I often asked the question whyme?
What did I do?
Am I that bad or that horribleto where God doesn't even want
to show up for me, to where he'sallowing all of these things to
(21:57):
come into my life?
And I'm just trying to live mybest life Like.
I know.
I'm not doing everything like aChristian should do, but, dang,
I ain't out here doing stealing.
I'm not out here murderingpeople.
I'm not out here being ahorrible person.
(22:21):
I'm just taking care ofbusiness and doing my best as a
single mom, doing my best as anindividual.
So why, all of a sudden,everything is gone?
And so I experienced thosethings Later on, when I was
(22:47):
married, I actually kept goingto my doctor because my leg was
hurting and I was like, dang, Ididn't hit it on, nothing, I
haven't fell or anything.
What's going on?
What is happening to me?
I would go to the doctor andhe'd be like, oh, you're fine,
nothing's wrong.
(23:07):
Did the x-rays, did the Doppler, did all that kind of stuff?
And they're like you're fine.
I'm like, no, something's wrong.
And then, months later, guesswhat happened?
Your girl had a saddle block,pulmonary embolism.
I had a huge one.
It actually blocked the oxygento my lungs and it was like
(23:28):
going up my was that the aorta?
I don't know, got y'all.
It's been a while since I didanything medical.
Yeah, it was huge and Icouldn't breathe, like I would
literally just turn and mybreath was gone.
My daughter at that time was twoand it was only her and I at
the house, and so I was actuallyable to pick her up, put her in
(23:50):
her car seat, drive about eightminutes down the road, wait in
the lobby of the doctor's office, go to the back.
When the nurse came in it wasdoing my vitals and all that
other kind of stuff.
They were like hold on.
And she walked out the room.
And the next thing, I know, mydoctor came in and she looked me
(24:12):
over, asked questions, and shewas like hold on.
She walked out the room.
Next thing I know there's twodoctors in there and they were
like look, we don't call theambulance.
We really think that you have apulmonary embolism and we had
already called 911.
Ems is coming.
Can anybody come get the baby?
And I was like no, no one cancome get the baby.
You know, I was in Georgiastaying with my mother-in-law.
(24:34):
My husband was still in Texasbecause we were transitioning
from Texas to Georgia and mymother-in-law had went out of
town.
And I was like oh my gosh.
So I had to call mymother-in-law and let her know
like hey, I need somebody tocome get the baby.
You know, duh, duh.
And so she ended up arrangingfor her friend to get the baby.
But before I knew that herfriend was getting the baby, my
(24:56):
doctor was like okay, we'resending you in the ambulance to
the hospital.
We don't want you to take her.
And so my doctor was like I'mgoing to watch her.
She was like I will keep herwith me, I will watch her until
someone's able to pick her up.
Isn't that awesome?
Because someone else could havebeen like, okay, we're going to
(25:18):
send her with you and whilethey're doing all these things
at the hospital with me, guesswhat they would have did?
They would have called a socialworker or they would have
called, you know, childprotective services or somebody
to come get the baby, untilsomeone can come get the baby
and everything else.
But my doctor was like no, I'mgoing to keep the baby.
So, literally as I'm going outon the stretcher and I see
Zakiye at the nurse's stationand two of the nurses over there
(25:40):
playing with her and she's justlaughing and everything else,
she's like mama, who she didn'teven notice.
I was gone.
That was a horrifying experiencewhen I was advocating for
myself but no one wanted tolisten to me, and that's just
only one time that I experiencedbeing an advocate for my health
(26:02):
and not being paid attention to.
So if you've experienced that,I feel you and it sucks.
You was like please listen tome, you're feeling anxious and
you're feeling like no one caresand you're feeling like no one
cares.
God still got you.
He got your back Because if hedidn't have me through that time
(26:32):
, I wouldn't be here, because itwasn't nobody but God that made
it capable for me to make themoves that I made to leave the
house, where it was just me andmy daughter.
Literally, I made just a turn, ahalf of a step, and I didn't
have no kind of oxygen, no kindof breath in my body.
(26:52):
It was serious and all I coulddo was pray.
And he came through.
So who can put breath in ourbody like that?
But God, he is with us throughall things.
He's present with us at alltimes and, honestly, he's
(27:14):
present with us when we don'teven want him to be, because
have you ever been so down towhere you've been, like I just
want anybody, everybody, leaveme alone, like God.
Don't even be trying to sendpeople over here to talk to me.
Just leave me alone.
I don't want to pray, I don'twant to do nothing, I just want
to be left alone by myself andjust soak.
(27:38):
Have you been there?
I want you to know thatsometimes God allows us to go
through some things, but wechoose how we go through it.
I'm going to reference Job'sstory.
That's a good one for thatexample.
So if you haven't read Job'sstory, go read Job.
(28:01):
Really, and most likely, ifyou're listening to this podcast
or you follow me, you feltthose things as well.
But guess what?
God is still present and he'sstill there for us and he's with
us.
You see, he allows us to gothrough things because sometimes
(28:25):
there's a lesson learned fromthem that is more powerful and
it leaves us strong and moreequipped to walk in the purpose
that he has for us.
I want you to pay attention tothe purpose that he has for us,
(28:45):
because sometimes our purposecan be different, totally
different, from God's purposeand what he wants us to walk in.
He may be having this clear,beautiful path laid out for us,
but here we are going to theleft and going to the right and
not staying on this straightpath that he has cleared out for
us, right, and so I want you tobelieve and trust and know that
(29:09):
you can really do all thingsthrough christ, who strengthens
you.
You can know God's love, god'sgrace, god's mercy and God's
peace is different than what weprovide for ourselves or what
(29:32):
that we settle on.
To be honest Now, my love forGod.
My intimate relationship that Ihave with God is what gets me
through the storms, thedisappointments, the confusion
and, recently, the loss of mybeautiful sister.
Oh, my goodness, that one.
(29:58):
That was a tough one it was.
I didn't expect it, I reallydidn't, but my faith in him, my
(30:19):
faith in God and believing inGod and having the intimate
relationship that I have withGod is what is getting me
through.
It's what is helping me have asmile on my face when I have a
smile on my face, it's the onethat's helping me have a smile
on my face when I have a smileon my face, is one that's
(30:40):
helping me understand, is theone that is um, oh, getting me
through right.
And so, yes, we go throughthings that we don't expect.
We go through things that giveus sadness, that we experience
(31:03):
pain, hurt, disappointments,right.
But one thing that I do know isthat if it wasn't for me having
an intimate relationship withGod, I wouldn't be doing as well
(31:25):
as I am now.
Right, and that's me beingcompletely honest.
Relationship with God, havingcoping mechanisms and techniques
, is what's getting me throughthis difficult time, because I
know how to communicate.
(31:47):
I know how to take breaks whenI need to.
I know when I need to kind oftake time.
I know that when I don't feellike going through that, I need
to just go ahead and pray, or itmay be a break, or maybe that I
need a journal, or maybe that Ineed to listen to watch my
(32:09):
vision video.
Right, all of these copingmechanisms, these tools and my
intimate relationship with Godis what's getting me really
through all the disappointments,the storms and, again, the loss
(32:44):
of my beautiful sister,beautiful inside and out.
That's what's getting methrough, and so I can sit here
and be like, oh God, I hate God,but I don't.
I love him.
I know he loves me and I knowthat he loves my sister and I
(33:06):
know that she's in a betterplace.
Right that, through all thedifferent points of trauma that
I have experienced, all thedifferent points of trauma that
you have experienced, that wehave experienced those things,
(33:33):
but one thing I know for sure isthat God is not our trauma.
He's not.
So if you have not accepted Godas your savior or if you want
to gain him as the leader inyour life, let him know.
(33:54):
All you have to do is ask himfor forgiveness and accept him
as your Lord and Savior.
God, it's me, crystal J.
Please forgive me, help me tobe better, help me to build this
(34:26):
intimate relationship with you,lead me, guide me, show me your
way, in Jesus name, amen.
So I want to thank you forlistening to Overcome, suffering
(34:49):
in Silence with me, crystal J.
Now, did you know that I,crystal J, I have a program that
will help you build yourrelationship with God while
learning to overcome thelimitations of trauma, discover
who you are authentically, whileelevating your career, social
(35:11):
and personal life?
Did you know that?
You know that Now, if you areready to go deeper, I want you
to go to wwwkrystaljae.
(35:32):
com.
Forward slash book dash online.
That is www .
krystaljae.
com/book-online and scheduleyour program consultation.
Now you may have went throughthis episode and been like
Krystal.
You know what.
This was OK, and you're talkingabout God, and right now I'm
(35:56):
not there, so I'm not sure aboutjoining a program that has God
in it.
Then you know what that's fine.
I'm not here to judge at all,and I have a program for you as
well.
You don't have to have that Godpiece in there, okay, have that
(36:26):
God piece in there, okay.
And one more thing.
I want y'all to go ahead andshare this episode with at least
three individuals that youwould like to empower.
Now, believe in all that youare and know that there is this
inner power within you that isgreater than any obstacle and,
as 2 Corinthians 1, 3-5 states,all praise to God, the Father of
(36:51):
our Lord Jesus Christ.
God is our merciful Father andthe source of all comfort.
God is our merciful father andthe source of all comfort.
He comforts us in all ourtroubles so that we can comfort
others when they are troubled.
We will be able to give themthe same comfort God has given
(37:12):
us, for the more we suffer inChrist, the more God will shower
us with his comfort throughChrist.
See you next time.
Have you ever had someone tell you, or have you
told your child that they can doanything that they can put
their mind to?
Did you get it from Philippians4.13?
I can do all things throughChrist, who gives me strength.
Now, did you know that it is asaying or a scripture that many
(00:26):
athletes, competitors and thosewho need that boost of
encouragement say to each otherand to themselves?
Now, when I was a teenager, Iwould tell myself that I could
do all things, but it wasn'tthrough Christ who gives me
strength, and I didn't say itwith conviction or believe it,
(00:49):
not even a little bit.
It was more of a I can do it.
I can do such and such, becauseif I don't do it, I will be
forgotten about or I will be notliked.
So therefore, I can do it.
Okay.
But it wasn't until I found outthat I was pregnant with my
(01:12):
firstborn that I was like I cando this and mean it with
everything in me.
I began praying, asking God tohelp me, because I wanted to be
the best mom possible and Ineeded God and his angels to
(01:32):
protect me and my baby while Ilearned to do my best, be my
best and give my best, my bestand give my best.
(01:53):
But then, as always, life beganlifing.
Slowly but surely, I started tolearn what Philippians 4.13
really meant and how grateful Iwas for that.
Now, this is the perfect timefor you to go ahead and share
this episode with three people.
Okay, I'll be right here andI'll wait for you.
Go ahead and hit that sharebutton real quick.
(02:14):
Hey, hey, welcome.
To Overcome Suffering in Silence, it's time for you to stop
people pleasing and create yourbetter life.
I, Krystal Jae , TheEmpowerment Goddess and your
Somatic Trauma-Informed LifeCoach.
This season has already startedin a way I couldn't even
imagine.
(02:34):
Now, are you ready for somerealness, raw healing and a
glimpse into what it feels liketo walk in peace, clarity and
purpose, while truly knowing whoyou are?
If your answer is yes, thenyou've come to the right place.
For the past two decades, I'vebeen blessed to share my journey
with countless women and a fewmen, empowering them to overcome
(02:57):
the lingering shadows ofphysical, emotional,
psychological and sexual abuse.
Together, we confront thelimitations that hold us back,
like self-doubt, guilt, fear,shame and that pervasive sense
of unworthiness.
Dig deep to uncover the root ofthese feelings.
Break free from the inner painof suffering and silence, find
(03:21):
faith, grow in that faith andembrace the life that is meant
for you.
Enjoy the real stories andpractical advice, life enhancing
skills and spiritual wisdom toguide you from pain to purpose,
self-doubt to confidence andconfusion to clarity.
So let's leave the struggle busbehind and embark on this
(03:43):
journey to discover the freedom,beauty and strength that lies
within you.
Remember you are not alone andyou are enough.
When times get tough, pray,listen and follow through,
because God loves you and trustme when I say he is not your
trauma.
Welcome to Overcome Sufferingin silence with crystal jay.
(04:10):
A couple years ago, I did myfirst sermon speech whatever you
want to call it, because I'mnot a pastor, but hey, I got to.
I got the honor of sharinggod's word and the title of that
was Embrace Contentment andFind True Fulfillment.
Isn't that powerful?
Because it was, and so today Iwant to share that with you.
(04:33):
Is that okay?
So we're going to start withembrace contentment.
What does embrace mean in thedictionary?
So, in the dictionary, embracemeans it's an act of accepting
or supporting somethingwillingly or enthusiastically.
Okay.
In the Bible it can be more ofto clasp and hold fondly, to
(04:57):
receive, to admit.
You see, we embrace, right, weembrace our loved ones, our
church, family, our closefriends, and there are some
people who embraces everyone,right, they may like, oh you
know, they just love to embraceand to accept or to hold fondly.
Now, whether that embracementis a healthy one or not, we're
(05:20):
not having that discussion today, okay or not.
We're not having thatdiscussion today.
Okay.
Now, contentment.
Contentment in the dictionaryis a state of happiness and
satisfaction, being comfortablein any situation.
Now, I've been in somesituations and many were not
comfortable at all, but I alsodid not know contentment as well
(05:45):
.
Okay, now, some places that youmay have felt discontentment
would be like in your work, yourmarriage and with your children
, friendships, maybe your churchand your success, right, your
finances.
But the one thing aboutdiscontentment in God is that
God has us at all times.
(06:08):
We just have to know andbelieve that he's there.
Now, in the Bible, contentmentmeans to be pleased or satisfied
, to have a state of peacefulhappiness.
Now, I don't know about y'all,but I know that I love being at
(06:31):
the state of peacefulness, right, I love to be happy, I love to
have joy, and if you don't, Iwant you to know.
Those are things that you canhave right, that's the purpose
of overcome suffering andsilence.
Right Is for you to learn tohave that peace in your life, to
(06:55):
have that joy in your life, tohave that happiness in your life
.
Okay, fulfillment, because thiswas embrace contentment and
find true fulfillment.
So what does fulfillment mean?
So, in fulfillment in thedictionary means the achievement
of something desired, promisedor predicted.
Right In the Bible, it kind ofsays to complete, bring to an
(07:18):
end.
Now I want you to think of atime that you may have been
unfulfilled.
Okay, when were those times foryou?
When were you unfulfilled?
Now?
Some examples could be you wentfor a raise and you didn't get
it.
Or your relationships are toxicand they include maybe some
(07:39):
narcissistic behaviors, cheating, lack of communication.
Right, it could be feelingmisunderstood, friends not
having free time for you, avacation being canceled, not
having the finances that youwant or need.
Or it could be having asuccessful career and still
(08:01):
feeling unfulfilled career andstill feeling unfulfilled.
Do any of that relates to you?
I know some of it related to meand some of it has related to
my clients.
Now it's time to do theopposite.
I want you to think about thefeelings that you felt when you
(08:23):
were fulfilled.
How did that feel emotionally?
How did it feel physically?
Were you happy?
Were you waking up in themornings and ready for your day?
Were you picking up the phoneand calling and texting people,
or putting more posts out onsocial media or whatever else?
(08:46):
What were you doing when youfelt fulfilled?
How did that feel for you?
How did that?
How did you feel in your mind?
How did it feel in your body?
How did it feel in your spirit?
Right?
So some things I want you tothink about when times that we
have been fulfilled is.
You received that raise.
You have a successful andhealthy relationship.
(09:06):
You feel heard and understood.
You got more than what youexpected from an answer.
You had a great time with afriend.
You had the best much neededvacation Y'all.
I had a vacation in November andit was so much needed.
I didn't realize how much Ineeded that vacation.
Y'all.
I had a vacation in Novemberand it was so much needed.
I didn't realize how much Ineeded that vacation.
(09:26):
But me and my husband, we wenton a cruise with my in-laws and
we had a great time.
I came back with a cold, butit's all good, but it felt good
and it was good to be fulfilledin that moment, to have that
fulfillment because I didn'tknow I was missing that peace.
So it took my sense ofhappiness and my sense of peace
(09:50):
and took it to an even biggerlevel and, believe me, I was
accepting to that and I wantthat for you.
Right, because being fulfilledfeels great right Now, of course
, with God, with him, we can befulfilled with all things.
We can live life with true peaceand grace.
(10:12):
Okay, now the truth aboutPhilippians 4.13, for I can do
everything through Christ, whogives me strength.
I want to go through verse 10with you.
Okay, it says how I praise theLord that you are concerned
about me.
Strength.
I want to go through verse 10with you.
Okay, it says how I praise theLord that you are concerned
about me.
Again, I know you have alwaysbeen concerned for me, but you
(10:33):
didn't have the chance to helpme.
Now, in this, paul is writing tothe church in Philippi to let
them know that he appreciateatesthat they are concerned about
him, but they can't help him outof prison or with the beating
that him and Silas enduredbefore being thrown into prison.
(10:54):
Right, they are now in prison.
They're shackled to the actualguards and they can't escape.
So I want to know, or I wantyou to think about how many
times have you felt beat downand shackled?
How did that feel Now?
(11:16):
Did those chains come free?
Were you released from thoseshackles by yourself, or did
they do them by themselves?
Did they just all of a suddenbe like oop, poof, gone and
there's no issue?
You're no longer feelingshackled anymore.
(11:36):
Is that how it was?
Or did you ask God to break youfree from the circumstances
that you were in?
Did you let go and let God?
How many times have you heardthat phrase?
Oh, let go and let God.
What does that mean to you?
I want you to think about that.
(11:57):
Okay Now, in that process ofthe shackles being taken off of
you, did you fight and worry andtry anything possible to be
free again, or did someone comeand save you?
(12:17):
Are you still feeling shackledand you wish you could be set
free?
Which one is it for you Now?
In verse 11, it says not that Iwas ever in need for.
I have learned how to becontent with whatever I have.
(12:38):
I know how to live on almostnothing or with everything.
I have learned the secret ofliving in every situation,
whether it is with a fullstomach or empty, with plenty or
little.
Now what I think Paul is sayinghere is I am fine.
(12:59):
I don't need anythingextraordinary, as through my
trials and tribulations and mylife circumstances, I have
learned to be at peace andwithout worry with whatever I
have.
I know what it feels like to bepoor and I know what it feels
(13:20):
like to be rich.
I know what it is to be fulland I know hunger.
That's what I get from that.
What about you?
What do you hear from that?
Now, just like when a couple saytheir vows when they're getting
married, right, we say forbetter, for worse, for richer,
(13:43):
for poorer, in sickness and inhealth, till death.
Do us part.
The glory is is that with Godthere is no death.
Do us part, as we are then inheaven with him.
He provides all our needs hereon earth and just asks us to be
faithful to him.
Share his word so that othersmay get to know him.
He provides all our needs hereon earth and just asks us to be
faithful to him.
(14:03):
Share his word so that othersmay get to know him.
Now, how is that for peace, toknow that there is someone that
will always have your back,someone that will always listen
and someone that will alwayslove you.
Because, let's be honest, thosethree things is something that
(14:25):
a lot of us have struggled withis having someone to have your
back, having someone that willlisten to you, having someone
that will love you, or feelinglike someone actually loves you
and loves you for you right Now.
4.13, I can do everythingthrough Christ who gives me
(14:49):
strength.
What does that mean?
For I can do everything throughChrist who gives me strength.
You see, paul is letting thechurch know that through Christ
he can do everything, he canmake it through everything.
And now it doesn't mean to goto work, okay, and do the
(15:15):
minimum and then expect to get a$2 raise Because, I mean, did
you do the work for that $2raise?
You can't just expect it andnot be doing the work right Now.
This one, I am even guilty forShowing up at church and being
(15:37):
like.
I did my part.
I showed up and now I'm justgoing to move on about my week
and not serve the Lord for therest of the week.
How many times have you heardoh, be in the club on Saturday
and in church on Sunday.
That was definitely me for awhile, and I know there's a lot
of people who you know do thatand then they go to church and
(15:59):
then when they go into church,you know they're serving in the
church and they are bringing Godwith them through everything
that they do.
I can admit that I wasdefinitely one that would go to
the club Saturday night, be inthe church on Sunday morning and
then Sunday afternoon I'm backout in the streets, you know
doing my thing and I'm notserving the Lord.
(16:21):
I'm not doing Bible study, I'mnot doing devotionals, I don't
have a prayer life Like that wasme in one part of my life.
But the one thing is we are toshare his word right, we are to
work in God's house.
Right, we are to work in God'shouse.
(16:42):
We are to show and be examplesof God's love, god's respect,
god's acceptance.
Right, because we are hischildren and we're supposed to
accept each other, because noneof us is perfect, but we shall
be his disciples and show hisgrace, his mercy.
(17:04):
Don't you think so?
Now?
I know, I know some of it mayhave stung, but it's okay
because we are talking about thetruth.
Okay, and when I realized whatPhilippians 4.13 really meant,
and it wasn't just a oh.
(17:24):
I can do all things throughChrist, who gives me strength.
He's going to give me thestrength to go out here and I'm
going to be the best at thistrack meet and I'm going to be
the best on my job.
But in reality, I'm notpracticing for that track meet.
In reality, I'm showing up lateto work, I'm leaving early from
(17:46):
work, I'm calling in from work,I'm not doing my best when I'm
there.
How are we supposed to get allthat goodness if we're not
putting in the work Same thing?
We're supposed to be going outthere and showing the love, the
respect, the grace, because ifwe want that, we should also be
giving that.
(18:06):
But we shouldn't be giving thatand expected to get it back.
We should be giving it becausewe are disciples of Christ.
We are sharing his word, we'resharing his love.
Right Now, god has seen methrough some difficult times.
(18:28):
He seen me when I wascompletely broken and he was
there when I was doing reallywell, like purchasing my home.
God guided me as a singlemother when I felt less than and
didn't feel like I was worthyor enough for my child.
(18:54):
God was there for me when Ilost almost everything my job,
my savings, the CDs I had for meand my child, when I lost the
home I had for me and my child.
He was there when I lost my car, like I lost all of that at one
time while still dealing withother things.
(19:18):
It was a difficult, difficulttime and I didn't believe that I
had anything left, like I waslike man.
I'm a single mom, I'm doing thething.
I'm not only taking care of mychild by myself, but I'm able to
(19:39):
feed us, I'm able to have anice car, I'm able to have not
only a savings but also a CD andthen losing all of that it took
me down because I was like,okay, now I haven't accomplished
(20:00):
nothing.
Everything that I worked sohard for was gone.
So I know the feeling ofwondering where I was going to
get the money for groceries, howI was going to pay the light
bill or how I was going to putgas in my car.
And this may not be your story,but it's mine and for some of my
(20:23):
clients theirs has been similar.
Theirs have also been lookedlike maybe missing the deadline
on an important project at work,not raising enough money for a
finance project not beingapproved for the new house, or
experiencing a partner cheating.
It could have been that youknow you have a business but
(20:46):
it's not bringing in profits, orthat you're kind of being like,
oh, I'm missing something, butI don't know what it is.
My marriage is awesome, mymarriage is awesome, my home is
beautiful.
I love my career, dang, butsomething is missing.
(21:13):
What is it?
Is that?
You have you ever felt likesomething is missing?
You have everything that youhave ever wanted, but something
is still missing.
Is that?
You?
Have you been there?
(21:34):
Are you still there?
You know, there was times thatI was struggling.
I often asked the question whyme?
What did I do?
Am I that bad or that horribleto where God doesn't even want
to show up for me, to where he'sallowing all of these things to
(21:57):
come into my life?
And I'm just trying to live mybest life Like.
I know.
I'm not doing everything like aChristian should do, but, dang,
I ain't out here doing stealing.
I'm not out here murderingpeople.
I'm not out here being ahorrible person.
(22:21):
I'm just taking care ofbusiness and doing my best as a
single mom, doing my best as anindividual.
So why, all of a sudden,everything is gone?
And so I experienced thosethings Later on, when I was
(22:47):
married, I actually kept goingto my doctor because my leg was
hurting and I was like, dang, Ididn't hit it on, nothing, I
haven't fell or anything.
What's going on?
What is happening to me?
I would go to the doctor andhe'd be like, oh, you're fine,
nothing's wrong.
(23:07):
Did the x-rays, did the Doppler, did all that kind of stuff?
And they're like you're fine.
I'm like, no, something's wrong.
And then, months later, guesswhat happened?
Your girl had a saddle block,pulmonary embolism.
I had a huge one.
It actually blocked the oxygento my lungs and it was like
(23:28):
going up my was that the aorta?
I don't know, got y'all.
It's been a while since I didanything medical.
Yeah, it was huge and Icouldn't breathe, like I would
literally just turn and mybreath was gone.
My daughter at that time was twoand it was only her and I at
the house, and so I was actuallyable to pick her up, put her in
(23:50):
her car seat, drive about eightminutes down the road, wait in
the lobby of the doctor's office, go to the back.
When the nurse came in it wasdoing my vitals and all that
other kind of stuff.
They were like hold on.
And she walked out the room.
And the next thing, I know, mydoctor came in and she looked me
(24:12):
over, asked questions, and shewas like hold on.
She walked out the room.
Next thing I know there's twodoctors in there and they were
like look, we don't call theambulance.
We really think that you have apulmonary embolism and we had
already called 911.
Ems is coming.
Can anybody come get the baby?
And I was like no, no one cancome get the baby.
You know, I was in Georgiastaying with my mother-in-law.
(24:34):
My husband was still in Texasbecause we were transitioning
from Texas to Georgia and mymother-in-law had went out of
town.
And I was like oh my gosh.
So I had to call mymother-in-law and let her know
like hey, I need somebody tocome get the baby.
You know, duh, duh.
And so she ended up arrangingfor her friend to get the baby.
But before I knew that herfriend was getting the baby, my
(24:56):
doctor was like okay, we'resending you in the ambulance to
the hospital.
We don't want you to take her.
And so my doctor was like I'mgoing to watch her.
She was like I will keep herwith me, I will watch her until
someone's able to pick her up.
Isn't that awesome?
Because someone else could havebeen like, okay, we're going to
(25:18):
send her with you and whilethey're doing all these things
at the hospital with me, guesswhat they would have did?
They would have called a socialworker or they would have
called, you know, childprotective services or somebody
to come get the baby, untilsomeone can come get the baby
and everything else.
But my doctor was like no, I'mgoing to keep the baby.
So, literally as I'm going outon the stretcher and I see
Zakiye at the nurse's stationand two of the nurses over there
(25:40):
playing with her and she's justlaughing and everything else,
she's like mama, who she didn'teven notice.
I was gone.
That was a horrifying experiencewhen I was advocating for
myself but no one wanted tolisten to me, and that's just
only one time that I experiencedbeing an advocate for my health
(26:02):
and not being paid attention to.
So if you've experienced that,I feel you and it sucks.
You was like please listen tome, you're feeling anxious and
you're feeling like no one caresand you're feeling like no one
cares.
God still got you.
He got your back Because if hedidn't have me through that time
(26:32):
, I wouldn't be here, because itwasn't nobody but God that made
it capable for me to make themoves that I made to leave the
house, where it was just me andmy daughter.
Literally, I made just a turn, ahalf of a step, and I didn't
have no kind of oxygen, no kindof breath in my body.
(26:52):
It was serious and all I coulddo was pray.
And he came through.
So who can put breath in ourbody like that?
But God, he is with us throughall things.
He's present with us at alltimes and, honestly, he's
(27:14):
present with us when we don'teven want him to be, because
have you ever been so down towhere you've been, like I just
want anybody, everybody, leaveme alone, like God.
Don't even be trying to sendpeople over here to talk to me.
Just leave me alone.
I don't want to pray, I don'twant to do nothing, I just want
to be left alone by myself andjust soak.
(27:38):
Have you been there?
I want you to know thatsometimes God allows us to go
through some things, but wechoose how we go through it.
I'm going to reference Job'sstory.
That's a good one for thatexample.
So if you haven't read Job'sstory, go read Job.
(28:01):
Really, and most likely, ifyou're listening to this podcast
or you follow me, you feltthose things as well.
But guess what?
God is still present and he'sstill there for us and he's with
us.
You see, he allows us to gothrough things because sometimes
(28:25):
there's a lesson learned fromthem that is more powerful and
it leaves us strong and moreequipped to walk in the purpose
that he has for us.
I want you to pay attention tothe purpose that he has for us,
(28:45):
because sometimes our purposecan be different, totally
different, from God's purposeand what he wants us to walk in.
He may be having this clear,beautiful path laid out for us,
but here we are going to theleft and going to the right and
not staying on this straightpath that he has cleared out for
us, right, and so I want you tobelieve and trust and know that
(29:09):
you can really do all thingsthrough christ, who strengthens
you.
You can know God's love, god'sgrace, god's mercy and God's
peace is different than what weprovide for ourselves or what
(29:32):
that we settle on.
To be honest Now, my love forGod.
My intimate relationship that Ihave with God is what gets me
through the storms, thedisappointments, the confusion
and, recently, the loss of mybeautiful sister.
Oh, my goodness, that one.
(29:58):
That was a tough one it was.
I didn't expect it, I reallydidn't, but my faith in him, my
(30:19):
faith in God and believing inGod and having the intimate
relationship that I have withGod is what is getting me
through.
It's what is helping me have asmile on my face when I have a
smile on my face, it's the onethat's helping me have a smile
on my face when I have a smileon my face, is one that's
(30:40):
helping me understand, is theone that is um, oh, getting me
through right.
And so, yes, we go throughthings that we don't expect.
We go through things that giveus sadness, that we experience
(31:03):
pain, hurt, disappointments,right.
But one thing that I do know isthat if it wasn't for me having
an intimate relationship withGod, I wouldn't be doing as well
(31:25):
as I am now.
Right, and that's me beingcompletely honest.
Relationship with God, havingcoping mechanisms and techniques
, is what's getting me throughthis difficult time, because I
know how to communicate.
(31:47):
I know how to take breaks whenI need to.
I know when I need to kind oftake time.
I know that when I don't feellike going through that, I need
to just go ahead and pray, or itmay be a break, or maybe that I
need a journal, or maybe that Ineed to listen to watch my
(32:09):
vision video.
Right, all of these copingmechanisms, these tools and my
intimate relationship with Godis what's getting me really
through all the disappointments,the storms and, again, the loss
(32:44):
of my beautiful sister,beautiful inside and out.
That's what's getting methrough, and so I can sit here
and be like, oh God, I hate God,but I don't.
I love him.
I know he loves me and I knowthat he loves my sister and I
(33:06):
know that she's in a betterplace.
Right that, through all thedifferent points of trauma that
I have experienced, all thedifferent points of trauma that
you have experienced, that wehave experienced those things,
(33:33):
but one thing I know for sure isthat God is not our trauma.
He's not.
So if you have not accepted Godas your savior or if you want
to gain him as the leader inyour life, let him know.
(33:54):
All you have to do is ask himfor forgiveness and accept him
as your Lord and Savior.
God, it's me, crystal J.
Please forgive me, help me tobe better, help me to build this
(34:26):
intimate relationship with you,lead me, guide me, show me your
way, in Jesus name, amen.
So I want to thank you forlistening to Overcome, suffering
(34:49):
in Silence with me, crystal J.
Now, did you know that I,crystal J, I have a program that
will help you build yourrelationship with God while
learning to overcome thelimitations of trauma, discover
who you are authentically, whileelevating your career, social
(35:11):
and personal life?
Did you know that?
You know that Now, if you areready to go deeper, I want you
to go to wwwkrystaljae.
(35:32):
com.
Forward slash book dash online.
That is www .
krystaljae.
com/book-online and scheduleyour program consultation.
Now you may have went throughthis episode and been like
Krystal.
You know what.
This was OK, and you're talkingabout God, and right now I'm
(35:56):
not there, so I'm not sure aboutjoining a program that has God
in it.
Then you know what that's fine.
I'm not here to judge at all,and I have a program for you as
well.
You don't have to have that Godpiece in there, okay, have that
(36:26):
God piece in there, okay.
And one more thing.
I want y'all to go ahead andshare this episode with at least
three individuals that youwould like to empower.
Now, believe in all that youare and know that there is this
inner power within you that isgreater than any obstacle and,
as 2 Corinthians 1, 3-5 states,all praise to God, the Father of
(36:51):
our Lord Jesus Christ.
God is our merciful Father andthe source of all comfort.
God is our merciful father andthe source of all comfort.
He comforts us in all ourtroubles so that we can comfort
others when they are troubled.
We will be able to give themthe same comfort God has given
(37:12):
us, for the more we suffer inChrist, the more God will shower
us with his comfort throughChrist.
See you next time.
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