June 24, 2025 • 20 mins
Perry shares his powerful journey from childhood sexual abuse survivor to advocate who helps trauma survivors find their voice and create meaningful impact through storytelling, speaking, and community.
• Experienced childhood sexual abuse by his step-grandfather and was silenced by his father
• Discovered his father was also abused by the same man but lived and died in silence, turning to alcoholism
• Broke his silence in three stages: telling his partner, sharing at an event, and posting a video that went viral
• Overcame shame by repeatedly sharing his story and connecting with other survivors
• Emphasizes that living in silence allows trauma to grow while speaking out enables healing
• Founded Be Powerful Media with multiple platforms to help survivors share their stories
• Published his bestselling book "Breaking the Silence" which led to a TEDx talk and speaking career
• Created "The Power Tribe" Facebook group with 5,000 trauma survivors supporting each other
• Has helped publish 20 books by survivors of various traumas through his Powerful Books program
• Advises finding a purpose greater than your fears to sustain the courage needed to speak out
Visit bepowerfulmedia.com to learn more and join Perry's community on Instagram or in The Power Tribe Facebook group.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
hello and welcome back to the next episode of
overcome yourself, the podcast.
As you know, my name is nicoleand I am so excited to be here
with perry today.
Perry has an incredible storyof overcoming um, let him take
it away.
Go ahead, perry, tell us whoyou are, tell us a little bit
about your story and then tellus who you help now.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Hey Nicole.
So my story, and primarily ofwhat I do now, is working with
trauma survivors, ultimatelyhelping them to find their voice
, and for many people it's justfinding their voice through a
journey of healing andtransformation.
Some other people it's oncethey found their voice, is then
using their voice to createchange and to create impact in
(00:45):
the lives of other people.
I think when it comes to thattype of work, it's usually come
from a place of we've been thereourselves.
So for me I was.
I went through sexual abuse as akid by my step-granddad and it
was, uh, something I didn't knowwas wrong.
(01:06):
I didn't know what he was doingwas wrong because of how he
framed the whole thing and howhe positioned himself and
hashtag grooming right it was,you know so.
But it was my stepmom thatcaught it happening and she was
the one who then took me home,told my dad about it.
He confronted me and then hesort of uh, silenced me.
(01:29):
He told me not to speak aboutit.
Don't tell anyone, don't tellyour mother, your biological
mother, don't go to school, tellyour friends, just zip it.
And I remember at that stageit's weird because my dad kind
of at that point he kind ofbecame like the villain of the
story, whereas really that thereshould only be one person who
was a villain of that story.
And you know it, I grew up kindof my dad was a a man's man and
(01:56):
I sort of wanted to be thatsort of masculine version of a
male growing up, and what thateventually led me to see was
what really.
He was just hiding behind masksand, you know, suppressing his
own pain.
Because stage where I was doingthat myself and I was masking my
(02:17):
own pain, uh, I was hidingbehind my own masks.
And it got to a certain pointin my life where I ended up
breaking my silence.
I ended up telling the personthat was dating at the time,
told her about what I wentthrough.
I don't remember a single wordthat I said, but I know that it
happened and that she welcomedme with open arms.
And I kind of say that I brokemy silence in three stages.
(02:39):
Stage one was telling my partner.
Stage two was a few monthslater, I went to like a, an
in-person sort of online fitnessmastermind retreat event, and
when we was all sitting there ina semi-circle going around the
room and introduces ourselves, Ithen, for the second time
shared my story.
(02:59):
Then again, I don't rememberwhat I said.
And then the third time wasdriving home from that event and
I was like I just need to getout my system, I just need to
get out there.
I was working online onFacebook and I did a video on
Facebook and that went viral andbecame what it is today wow,
wow, wow, wow.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
I'm not excited that that happened to you, but I'm
excited that you're here toshare your story of survival and
of using your voice, because itis so important.
Talk to me a little bit moreabout the importance of not
being silent, because it'sreally scary to put yourself out
there, I imagine yeah,absolutely, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
But.
But I think, at the end of theday, the consequences of living
in silence outweigh theconsequences of breaking it,
because the consequences ofbreaking the silence it depends
on the person's story.
You know, you have anythingfrom what.
Your family could reject you,they could turn their backs on
you.
If there's an abuser, theycould come after you.
Yes, and they're all very, veryvalid.
However, the most importantperson is you, and I think, as
(04:02):
trauma survivors, we don't tendto put ourselves first and we
don't like to step out into theunknown.
And finding our voice and usingit is definitely stepping out
into the unknown.
But when you live in silence,that's where the trauma really
grows, and once I, the best wayI can explain is through the
(04:24):
facts and a short story of how.
Once that video went out there,then I went to my auntie's
house my dad's sister and shesays to me you know, you're, you
weren't the only one that wasabused, and she told me that my
dad was abused too as a child bythe same man that abused me.
So that, right there, that waswhen everything came together
(04:45):
and aligned and because I waslike, okay, so my dad lived and
died in silence.
That's why he became analcoholic.
That's why he told me to staysilent, and then everything
started to connect, and you knowso, when people are living in
silence, I tend to use my dad'sstory as an example of what can
happen if you stay living insilence, which is having a heart
attack, being an alcoholic anddying before you're even the age
(05:06):
of 50.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
Wow, that is so powerful.
Perry, talk to me aboutovercoming shame, because I feel
like there must be a lot ofshame wrapped up in in what
happened to you for so manyreasons.
So can you talk to me about howyou were able to overcome that?
Speaker 2 (05:31):
I think it's a bit of a mixture of a couple of things
.
I think one would be how.
I think.
I think for me personally in myjourney, the shame started to
kind of disappear when I sharedmy story multiple times and when
there was feedback from people,ie other survivors I was just
(05:54):
met with an overwhelming senseof positivity.
Now, if and this is why I saylike in my book I say about how
if you're living in silence, Iwould recommend you don't follow
the path that I went down.
If you're living in silence,don't just go ahead and tell
your partner.
The reason.
Why is because you can'tguarantee what that reaction is
going to be.
And if they give you any typeof inkling that they are
(06:19):
rejecting your story or maybethey're not and they're trying
to figure out how to reply backto you so they pause and the
pause is not what you needed inthat moment.
Boom, you've now justassociated and attached your
truth that you've been holdingon to this whole time with now
rejection and you will never,ever share your story again or
is unlikely.
So I was very, very lucky thatI had a partner that met it with
(06:43):
in open arms.
So I would say like to peopleabout shame is that starts to
disappear when you're startingto break the silence to yourself
first, in as many differentways as possible.
The more times you break yoursilence yourself, the more time
to take ownership over it andthe shame starts to disappear
and also to connect with otherpeople.
As soon as you hear someoneelse's story that's similar to
(07:04):
yours, the shame starts to be abit more manageable, because
shame tends to come from sittingwith your story in a place of
loneliness.
Right.
So that's one and another one.
For me, uh, is dark humor.
Dark humor massively, massivelyhelps I totally agree.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
Yes, um, I have a very dark sense of humor as well
, and I think yeah, because whattips do you have for someone
who is overcoming themselves?
(07:47):
Um, rebuilding, you know,picking up the pieces they're
rebuilding they.
They want, they don't want toend up like your dad.
Right, it's all about ourchoices.
Like I, in my book, I talkabout twin studies and, um, and
there was a set of twins and thedad was like an alcoholic and
was super mean.
And then one twin was like well, look at my dad, how could I
(08:10):
have not ended up like him?
And then the other twin waslike well, look at my dad, I
just didn't want to end up likehim.
Um, and you kind of alluded tothat a little bit and you saw
how, how this shame brought downyour dad.
Um, and so what tips do youhave for our audience?
That's overcoming, and they'relike I don't want to be like
Perry's dad.
I want to be like Perry and Iwant to be able to thrive after
(08:31):
this because I'm, I'm, I'm stillallowed to be happy, right?
Does that make sense?
Speaker 2 (08:36):
yeah, absolutely, absolutely.
I think that's the immediateanswer that's coming to me is
kind of what we brushed on, butI think it's.
I think it deserves to bebrushed over many, many times,
which is that if you are wantingto sort of heal, rebuild
yourselves and start to change,well, really start to shed the
version of you that's you know,gotten to this point, and start
(08:58):
to step into the shoes of themost powerful version of
yourself.
You will not be able to getthere without writing, sharing,
owning your story, because upuntil this point, your story's
owned you, and the way that yourstory owns you is because
you're not, you're not allowingyourself to stop and confront
that truth that you've beenrunning away from.
So, as soon as you do that,that's why I do what I do now
(09:20):
with helping survivors writetheir book.
Writing books, it's not justwriting the book, it's you, for
the first time, stopping thereand confronting everything
you've been running away from.
With every single page thatyou're writing, you take an
ownership of the story thatyou've lived and once you've
gotten to the end of the bookand you've got it in your hands,
that now becomes a trophy ofall of the battles that you've
won, and it is absolutelyimpossible.
(09:42):
It is impossible for you to goback to how you was okay,
because that version of you wastrapped in a prison cell of
loneliness and darkness.
Now you, you know you're out.
You're out of prison, you'reout there in the world.
It might be uncomfortablethere's a different type of
uncomfortable so find your voice, and you do that through the
(10:03):
process of sharing your story Ilove that.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
I love that so much.
Um, so that's that's like yourthing finding your voice.
So tell us a little bit moreabout what advice you have for
your clients when you'readvising them on finding their
voice so I guess, so I.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
I have something called as a brand, called be
powerful, and under be powerful,there's many different
components.
We've got powerful books, we'vegot powerful films, we've got
powerful news, powerful merch.
It's basically just a bigplatform for children, survivors
, to be part of a movement.
Basically is what it is, withall the different components,
and I'll give you two examples.
So one example is let's justsay, something hits me up on on
(10:45):
instagram with a dm saying perry, I'm, you know, I'm heavily
trapped within my family.
I want to share my story.
Hell, I want to write a book,but there's just no way I can do
any of that anytime soon.
What can I do right now?
And a lot for a lot of, for alot of survivors, family is the
problem, right, and it's not.
(11:05):
And this is the thing.
I'm not saying abuse, I'msaying family.
Sometimes those are the samething, yes, but it's more so the
mom or the dad or the aunt, theguardian, who doesn't want you
to share your story, because Idon't want you to add the dirty
laundry, as they would call itRight.
You sharing your story is, in away, you sharing their story too
(11:25):
, and you know so and what Iwould, and I'm like it's tough,
but it's almost comes back tothe thing of if you don't come
from a supportive family, thenyou've got to make sure a
supportive family comes from youinstead.
Because what's the alternativenow?
The alternative is is like okay, mom, dad, I won't share my
(11:46):
story because it's going to makeyou very, very uncomfortable.
Cool, now they free, fast forthree years.
Now that you there's a andthere's a difference from living
in silence, not wantinganything to do with it and
putting your head in the sand,and then living in silence, very
aware you want to speak outdown.
Now that's a different type ofurge, because then you're going
to grow this hatred towards yourparents saying how fucking dare
(12:06):
you from stopping me to speakout?
Right, and that's just going tobubble up inside of you and it's
like if your family's going toturn their back on you when you
speak out, I'm sorry, but theydon't deserve you in the first
place, because they should beunconditional.
Love is unconditional love,right, there shouldn't be
conditions, and what they'redoing is they're providing
conditions.
And that's very hard because ifI turn away from my family,
(12:28):
I've got no one, and it's like,well, yes, but if only for a
short period of time, and alsoat the, what you focus on
becomes true.
So if you're like, well, I'mgoing to be alone, then you will
find loneliness.
But if you're like, well, no,actually there's a whole army of
survivors out there who havefound their voice and they are
(12:49):
changing lives, they're changingthe world.
How can I find the community tobe part of?
Who can have my back if thatoutcome ends up becoming the
thing that happens, you know?
So it's just really plucking upthat courage and just taking a
stand for the first time in yourlife for you and you've you've
created that space.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
You've created a place where people can go,
because that's exactly what youwere talking about with your
videos, with you know, yourpodcast interviews with your
merch um, with everything, withbooks, like, you are providing a
safe haven for people to comeand and be together and you
provide community.
So I think that is the mostimportant thing that you could
(13:31):
do.
Like, I think I commend youbecause you've, you know, like,
you've done it like you went andyou experienced something, and
then now you, you're using thatfor good's like your superpower.
Now it's turned into yoursuperpower and you've, you've,
you've learned to use it forgood and you're helping others,
um, and I think that is sofantastic.
(13:52):
Um, I think that's so brave.
Um, and, and I'm so glad thatyou're here sharing your story
with us, perry, this is amazing.
Um, yes, no, I appreciate you,and can you tell us a little bit
more about your book, books,book yeah, uh.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
My book is called breaking the silence.
Which um is this here?
I published this, god.
What year was it?
I think it was 20 yeah, 2020,2021.
I actually think I did thatpublishing 20 yeah, 2020, 2021
is when I published that.
And I I wrote that book from aplace of purpose rather than a
(14:30):
place of pain.
I had been sharing my story fora few years by then and I
wanted to just find a differentavenue to get my story out, and
I put that book out there,became a bestseller on amazon,
uh, and in the sexual abusecategory, which was the you know
, that was the main categorythat I wanted to try and hit
number one in.
I think it hit like number twoin any other in the other two,
(14:51):
but I was happy they hit numberone in that one and yeah, it's
done very well.
Uh, seven, eight thousand copiessince then sold, which is,
which is great.
And this book has led to thewhole brand.
It led to a TEDx talk.
It led to now speaking career.
I'm flying to Ohio next Fridayto do a keynote talk at a
conference.
It's led to and I guess mostimportantly, it's led to
(15:15):
powerful books.
You know that was when asurvivor reached out to me and
said hey, perry, you've writtena book, can you help me write
one?
And you know, now we've.
We celebrated our two-yearanniversary a few days ago and
we've published 20 books so far.
We've got over 80 people in ourprogram and we've just got
people just changing.
You know, narcissistic abuse,domestic violence, cancer
(15:37):
survivors, child abuse survivorsjust all getting their own
unique messages out there intothe world and creating impact.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
That is phenomenal.
I love it.
It's like a transformation laband everybody comes and they get
what they need, whether it'scommunity or whether it's
learning to use their voice,like you're not just telling
them to use your voice, you'reshowing them how to, you're
teaching them how to, and thenit's just so, so, stinking
powerful.
I love it.
That is amazing.
(16:05):
Now, perry, how can theaudience hang out with you, like
, how can we keep in touch withyou?
How can we follow along,because I know more greatness is
coming yeah, absolutely, yeah,yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
So, uh, what we got?
We got my be powerful mediawebsite.
Uh, on there there is a newssection.
So many of the survivors in ourcommunity post their own sort
of advice and tips and tricks onthere, so it's almost like it's
a news outlet.
So you can check out powerfulnews on the be powerful media
website.
And then we you can check meout on instagram I'm very, very
active on there as opposed toany other social media platform.
(16:39):
And then you also have afacebook group which I started,
I think, like back in 2022,maybe, uh, 2021, 2022 and it's
called the power tribe, wheresurvivors become warriors.
It's on facebook and there'sabout 5 000 people in there and
they're all trauma survivors andit's really a community where
people use it to ask questions,whether it's legal matters, or
(17:02):
it's very much a not a hub for,hey, how do I write and how do I
find my voice?
It's more of a place of I'mwanting to go to the police,
what are the legal statistics?
Or, you know, I'm wanting totell my mom what's the best way
of doing it.
So it's more so that sort ofangle within the world of trauma
, but it's a great yeah, yeah,that sounds like an incredible
(17:23):
community.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
Thank you for sharing that with us.
Um, all right, and now, beforewe sign off, perry, do you have
any final?
Like what's the one big tip infinding your voice that you tell
all of your clients, likewhat's the most important?
Speaker 2 (17:39):
I think you, ultimately, you can have all of
like.
I can tell you exactly rightnow.
Here is how you break yoursilence.
Here is how you write a bookand for a moment you might feel
like that's great andeverything's going to change.
And then you go to sleep andwake up and you're back into
reality and you won't implementanything on that practical
advice, right, we all, we've allfallen to that many times,
(18:00):
which is why I believe that themost important thing is about
trying to figure out what thepurpose is and making that
purpose greater than the fears,because it's the fears of the
unknown, it's the fears of thereactions, that's going to stop
us from doing all of this.
And it's not about getting ridof the fears, because that's
just make believe land.
That's not going to happen.
It's OK, I'm allowing space forthe fears to be there, but what
(18:20):
I need to lean into is what'sthe purpose behind, why I want
to find my voice?
And it's about finding that andleaning into it so hard that it
starts to overpower the fearsand, before you know it, you're
going to be like I need to speakout yesterday.
Right, you will skip dinner.
Right, you're like you're noteven going to sleep because you
need to figure out how to dothis.
That's the type of energy weneed to be in, so that when our
(18:47):
mom messages us and says pleasedon't do it, you're going to
look at it like I appreciatethat, mom, but I'm doing it.
So get with the program or youknow that type of energy.
So that's the best advicefigure out what the purpose is
and just trust in the universethat you'll get to where you
need to go to that is amazing.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
Thank you so much, perry, for joining us.
This conversation has been justabsolutely amazing, because
it's one thing to talk about theidea of you know what do you do
after you survive somethinglike this, but to hear it from
someone who has survivedsomething like this and just to
know that there is hope, thereis, is a future.
(19:23):
You know, after the darknessI've been there and so I know
that it does it can feelhopeless and it is very
confusing and there is a lot ofshame, but there is hope and so,
like I said, I just commend you.
I'm proud of you.
I think you're so brave and Ithink it's just amazing that
(19:43):
you're doing what you're doingand not just speaking out but
helping others to find theirvoice as well.
So I commend for that, sirthank you so much, nicole.
You're very kind, thank you no,thank you, and we will see you
guys next time, on the nextepisode of overcome yourself.
Bye.
hello and welcome back to the next episode of
overcome yourself, the podcast.
As you know, my name is nicoleand I am so excited to be here
with perry today.
Perry has an incredible storyof overcoming um, let him take
it away.
Go ahead, perry, tell us whoyou are, tell us a little bit
about your story and then tellus who you help now.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Hey Nicole.
So my story, and primarily ofwhat I do now, is working with
trauma survivors, ultimatelyhelping them to find their voice
, and for many people it's justfinding their voice through a
journey of healing andtransformation.
Some other people it's oncethey found their voice, is then
using their voice to createchange and to create impact in
(00:45):
the lives of other people.
I think when it comes to thattype of work, it's usually come
from a place of we've been thereourselves.
So for me I was.
I went through sexual abuse as akid by my step-granddad and it
was, uh, something I didn't knowwas wrong.
(01:06):
I didn't know what he was doingwas wrong because of how he
framed the whole thing and howhe positioned himself and
hashtag grooming right it was,you know so.
But it was my stepmom thatcaught it happening and she was
the one who then took me home,told my dad about it.
He confronted me and then hesort of uh, silenced me.
(01:29):
He told me not to speak aboutit.
Don't tell anyone, don't tellyour mother, your biological
mother, don't go to school, tellyour friends, just zip it.
And I remember at that stageit's weird because my dad kind
of at that point he kind ofbecame like the villain of the
story, whereas really that thereshould only be one person who
was a villain of that story.
And you know it, I grew up kindof my dad was a a man's man and
(01:56):
I sort of wanted to be thatsort of masculine version of a
male growing up, and what thateventually led me to see was
what really.
He was just hiding behind masksand, you know, suppressing his
own pain.
Because stage where I was doingthat myself and I was masking my
(02:17):
own pain, uh, I was hidingbehind my own masks.
And it got to a certain pointin my life where I ended up
breaking my silence.
I ended up telling the personthat was dating at the time,
told her about what I wentthrough.
I don't remember a single wordthat I said, but I know that it
happened and that she welcomedme with open arms.
And I kind of say that I brokemy silence in three stages.
(02:39):
Stage one was telling my partner.
Stage two was a few monthslater, I went to like a, an
in-person sort of online fitnessmastermind retreat event, and
when we was all sitting there ina semi-circle going around the
room and introduces ourselves, Ithen, for the second time
shared my story.
(02:59):
Then again, I don't rememberwhat I said.
And then the third time wasdriving home from that event and
I was like I just need to getout my system, I just need to
get out there.
I was working online onFacebook and I did a video on
Facebook and that went viral andbecame what it is today wow,
wow, wow, wow.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
I'm not excited that that happened to you, but I'm
excited that you're here toshare your story of survival and
of using your voice, because itis so important.
Talk to me a little bit moreabout the importance of not
being silent, because it'sreally scary to put yourself out
there, I imagine yeah,absolutely, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
But.
But I think, at the end of theday, the consequences of living
in silence outweigh theconsequences of breaking it,
because the consequences ofbreaking the silence it depends
on the person's story.
You know, you have anythingfrom what.
Your family could reject you,they could turn their backs on
you.
If there's an abuser, theycould come after you.
Yes, and they're all very, veryvalid.
However, the most importantperson is you, and I think, as
(04:02):
trauma survivors, we don't tendto put ourselves first and we
don't like to step out into theunknown.
And finding our voice and usingit is definitely stepping out
into the unknown.
But when you live in silence,that's where the trauma really
grows, and once I, the best wayI can explain is through the
(04:24):
facts and a short story of how.
Once that video went out there,then I went to my auntie's
house my dad's sister and shesays to me you know, you're, you
weren't the only one that wasabused, and she told me that my
dad was abused too as a child bythe same man that abused me.
So that, right there, that waswhen everything came together
(04:45):
and aligned and because I waslike, okay, so my dad lived and
died in silence.
That's why he became analcoholic.
That's why he told me to staysilent, and then everything
started to connect, and you knowso, when people are living in
silence, I tend to use my dad'sstory as an example of what can
happen if you stay living insilence, which is having a heart
attack, being an alcoholic anddying before you're even the age
(05:06):
of 50.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
Wow, that is so powerful.
Perry, talk to me aboutovercoming shame, because I feel
like there must be a lot ofshame wrapped up in in what
happened to you for so manyreasons.
So can you talk to me about howyou were able to overcome that?
Speaker 2 (05:31):
I think it's a bit of a mixture of a couple of things
.
I think one would be how.
I think.
I think for me personally in myjourney, the shame started to
kind of disappear when I sharedmy story multiple times and when
there was feedback from people,ie other survivors I was just
(05:54):
met with an overwhelming senseof positivity.
Now, if and this is why I saylike in my book I say about how
if you're living in silence, Iwould recommend you don't follow
the path that I went down.
If you're living in silence,don't just go ahead and tell
your partner.
The reason.
Why is because you can'tguarantee what that reaction is
going to be.
And if they give you any typeof inkling that they are
(06:19):
rejecting your story or maybethey're not and they're trying
to figure out how to reply backto you so they pause and the
pause is not what you needed inthat moment.
Boom, you've now justassociated and attached your
truth that you've been holdingon to this whole time with now
rejection and you will never,ever share your story again or
is unlikely.
So I was very, very lucky thatI had a partner that met it with
(06:43):
in open arms.
So I would say like to peopleabout shame is that starts to
disappear when you're startingto break the silence to yourself
first, in as many differentways as possible.
The more times you break yoursilence yourself, the more time
to take ownership over it andthe shame starts to disappear
and also to connect with otherpeople.
As soon as you hear someoneelse's story that's similar to
(07:04):
yours, the shame starts to be abit more manageable, because
shame tends to come from sittingwith your story in a place of
loneliness.
Right.
So that's one and another one.
For me, uh, is dark humor.
Dark humor massively, massivelyhelps I totally agree.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
Yes, um, I have a very dark sense of humor as well
, and I think yeah, because whattips do you have for someone
who is overcoming themselves?
(07:47):
Um, rebuilding, you know,picking up the pieces they're
rebuilding they.
They want, they don't want toend up like your dad.
Right, it's all about ourchoices.
Like I, in my book, I talkabout twin studies and, um, and
there was a set of twins and thedad was like an alcoholic and
was super mean.
And then one twin was like well, look at my dad, how could I
(08:10):
have not ended up like him?
And then the other twin waslike well, look at my dad, I
just didn't want to end up likehim.
Um, and you kind of alluded tothat a little bit and you saw
how, how this shame brought downyour dad.
Um, and so what tips do youhave for our audience?
That's overcoming, and they'relike I don't want to be like
Perry's dad.
I want to be like Perry and Iwant to be able to thrive after
(08:31):
this because I'm, I'm, I'm stillallowed to be happy, right?
Does that make sense?
Speaker 2 (08:36):
yeah, absolutely, absolutely.
I think that's the immediateanswer that's coming to me is
kind of what we brushed on, butI think it's.
I think it deserves to bebrushed over many, many times,
which is that if you are wantingto sort of heal, rebuild
yourselves and start to change,well, really start to shed the
version of you that's you know,gotten to this point, and start
(08:58):
to step into the shoes of themost powerful version of
yourself.
You will not be able to getthere without writing, sharing,
owning your story, because upuntil this point, your story's
owned you, and the way that yourstory owns you is because
you're not, you're not allowingyourself to stop and confront
that truth that you've beenrunning away from.
So, as soon as you do that,that's why I do what I do now
(09:20):
with helping survivors writetheir book.
Writing books, it's not justwriting the book, it's you, for
the first time, stopping thereand confronting everything
you've been running away from.
With every single page thatyou're writing, you take an
ownership of the story thatyou've lived and once you've
gotten to the end of the bookand you've got it in your hands,
that now becomes a trophy ofall of the battles that you've
won, and it is absolutelyimpossible.
(09:42):
It is impossible for you to goback to how you was okay,
because that version of you wastrapped in a prison cell of
loneliness and darkness.
Now you, you know you're out.
You're out of prison, you'reout there in the world.
It might be uncomfortablethere's a different type of
uncomfortable so find your voice, and you do that through the
(10:03):
process of sharing your story Ilove that.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
I love that so much.
Um, so that's that's like yourthing finding your voice.
So tell us a little bit moreabout what advice you have for
your clients when you'readvising them on finding their
voice so I guess, so I.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
I have something called as a brand, called be
powerful, and under be powerful,there's many different
components.
We've got powerful books, we'vegot powerful films, we've got
powerful news, powerful merch.
It's basically just a bigplatform for children, survivors
, to be part of a movement.
Basically is what it is, withall the different components,
and I'll give you two examples.
So one example is let's justsay, something hits me up on on
(10:45):
instagram with a dm saying perry, I'm, you know, I'm heavily
trapped within my family.
I want to share my story.
Hell, I want to write a book,but there's just no way I can do
any of that anytime soon.
What can I do right now?
And a lot for a lot of, for alot of survivors, family is the
problem, right, and it's not.
(11:05):
And this is the thing.
I'm not saying abuse, I'msaying family.
Sometimes those are the samething, yes, but it's more so the
mom or the dad or the aunt, theguardian, who doesn't want you
to share your story, because Idon't want you to add the dirty
laundry, as they would call itRight.
You sharing your story is, in away, you sharing their story too
(11:25):
, and you know so and what Iwould, and I'm like it's tough,
but it's almost comes back tothe thing of if you don't come
from a supportive family, thenyou've got to make sure a
supportive family comes from youinstead.
Because what's the alternativenow?
The alternative is is like okay, mom, dad, I won't share my
(11:46):
story because it's going to makeyou very, very uncomfortable.
Cool, now they free, fast forthree years.
Now that you there's a andthere's a difference from living
in silence, not wantinganything to do with it and
putting your head in the sand,and then living in silence, very
aware you want to speak outdown.
Now that's a different type ofurge, because then you're going
to grow this hatred towards yourparents saying how fucking dare
(12:06):
you from stopping me to speakout?
Right, and that's just going tobubble up inside of you and it's
like if your family's going toturn their back on you when you
speak out, I'm sorry, but theydon't deserve you in the first
place, because they should beunconditional.
Love is unconditional love,right, there shouldn't be
conditions, and what they'redoing is they're providing
conditions.
And that's very hard because ifI turn away from my family,
(12:28):
I've got no one, and it's like,well, yes, but if only for a
short period of time, and alsoat the, what you focus on
becomes true.
So if you're like, well, I'mgoing to be alone, then you will
find loneliness.
But if you're like, well, no,actually there's a whole army of
survivors out there who havefound their voice and they are
(12:49):
changing lives, they're changingthe world.
How can I find the community tobe part of?
Who can have my back if thatoutcome ends up becoming the
thing that happens, you know?
So it's just really plucking upthat courage and just taking a
stand for the first time in yourlife for you and you've you've
created that space.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
You've created a place where people can go,
because that's exactly what youwere talking about with your
videos, with you know, yourpodcast interviews with your
merch um, with everything, withbooks, like, you are providing a
safe haven for people to comeand and be together and you
provide community.
So I think that is the mostimportant thing that you could
(13:31):
do.
Like, I think I commend youbecause you've, you know, like,
you've done it like you went andyou experienced something, and
then now you, you're using thatfor good's like your superpower.
Now it's turned into yoursuperpower and you've, you've,
you've learned to use it forgood and you're helping others,
um, and I think that is sofantastic.
(13:52):
Um, I think that's so brave.
Um, and, and I'm so glad thatyou're here sharing your story
with us, perry, this is amazing.
Um, yes, no, I appreciate you,and can you tell us a little bit
more about your book, books,book yeah, uh.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
My book is called breaking the silence.
Which um is this here?
I published this, god.
What year was it?
I think it was 20 yeah, 2020,2021.
I actually think I did thatpublishing 20 yeah, 2020, 2021
is when I published that.
And I I wrote that book from aplace of purpose rather than a
(14:30):
place of pain.
I had been sharing my story fora few years by then and I
wanted to just find a differentavenue to get my story out, and
I put that book out there,became a bestseller on amazon,
uh, and in the sexual abusecategory, which was the you know
, that was the main categorythat I wanted to try and hit
number one in.
I think it hit like number twoin any other in the other two,
(14:51):
but I was happy they hit numberone in that one and yeah, it's
done very well.
Uh, seven, eight thousand copiessince then sold, which is,
which is great.
And this book has led to thewhole brand.
It led to a TEDx talk.
It led to now speaking career.
I'm flying to Ohio next Fridayto do a keynote talk at a
conference.
It's led to and I guess mostimportantly, it's led to
(15:15):
powerful books.
You know that was when asurvivor reached out to me and
said hey, perry, you've writtena book, can you help me write
one?
And you know, now we've.
We celebrated our two-yearanniversary a few days ago and
we've published 20 books so far.
We've got over 80 people in ourprogram and we've just got
people just changing.
You know, narcissistic abuse,domestic violence, cancer
(15:37):
survivors, child abuse survivorsjust all getting their own
unique messages out there intothe world and creating impact.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
That is phenomenal.
I love it.
It's like a transformation laband everybody comes and they get
what they need, whether it'scommunity or whether it's
learning to use their voice,like you're not just telling
them to use your voice, you'reshowing them how to, you're
teaching them how to, and thenit's just so, so, stinking
powerful.
I love it.
That is amazing.
(16:05):
Now, perry, how can theaudience hang out with you, like
, how can we keep in touch withyou?
How can we follow along,because I know more greatness is
coming yeah, absolutely, yeah,yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
So, uh, what we got?
We got my be powerful mediawebsite.
Uh, on there there is a newssection.
So many of the survivors in ourcommunity post their own sort
of advice and tips and tricks onthere, so it's almost like it's
a news outlet.
So you can check out powerfulnews on the be powerful media
website.
And then we you can check meout on instagram I'm very, very
active on there as opposed toany other social media platform.
(16:39):
And then you also have afacebook group which I started,
I think, like back in 2022,maybe, uh, 2021, 2022 and it's
called the power tribe, wheresurvivors become warriors.
It's on facebook and there'sabout 5 000 people in there and
they're all trauma survivors andit's really a community where
people use it to ask questions,whether it's legal matters, or
(17:02):
it's very much a not a hub for,hey, how do I write and how do I
find my voice?
It's more of a place of I'mwanting to go to the police,
what are the legal statistics?
Or, you know, I'm wanting totell my mom what's the best way
of doing it.
So it's more so that sort ofangle within the world of trauma
, but it's a great yeah, yeah,that sounds like an incredible
(17:23):
community.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
Thank you for sharing that with us.
Um, all right, and now, beforewe sign off, perry, do you have
any final?
Like what's the one big tip infinding your voice that you tell
all of your clients, likewhat's the most important?
Speaker 2 (17:39):
I think you, ultimately, you can have all of
like.
I can tell you exactly rightnow.
Here is how you break yoursilence.
Here is how you write a bookand for a moment you might feel
like that's great andeverything's going to change.
And then you go to sleep andwake up and you're back into
reality and you won't implementanything on that practical
advice, right, we all, we've allfallen to that many times,
(18:00):
which is why I believe that themost important thing is about
trying to figure out what thepurpose is and making that
purpose greater than the fears,because it's the fears of the
unknown, it's the fears of thereactions, that's going to stop
us from doing all of this.
And it's not about getting ridof the fears, because that's
just make believe land.
That's not going to happen.
It's OK, I'm allowing space forthe fears to be there, but what
(18:20):
I need to lean into is what'sthe purpose behind, why I want
to find my voice?
And it's about finding that andleaning into it so hard that it
starts to overpower the fearsand, before you know it, you're
going to be like I need to speakout yesterday.
Right, you will skip dinner.
Right, you're like you're noteven going to sleep because you
need to figure out how to dothis.
That's the type of energy weneed to be in, so that when our
(18:47):
mom messages us and says pleasedon't do it, you're going to
look at it like I appreciatethat, mom, but I'm doing it.
So get with the program or youknow that type of energy.
So that's the best advicefigure out what the purpose is
and just trust in the universethat you'll get to where you
need to go to that is amazing.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
Thank you so much, perry, for joining us.
This conversation has been justabsolutely amazing, because
it's one thing to talk about theidea of you know what do you do
after you survive somethinglike this, but to hear it from
someone who has survivedsomething like this and just to
know that there is hope, thereis, is a future.
(19:23):
You know, after the darknessI've been there and so I know
that it does it can feelhopeless and it is very
confusing and there is a lot ofshame, but there is hope and so,
like I said, I just commend you.
I'm proud of you.
I think you're so brave and Ithink it's just amazing that
(19:43):
you're doing what you're doingand not just speaking out but
helping others to find theirvoice as well.
So I commend for that, sirthank you so much, nicole.
You're very kind, thank you no,thank you, and we will see you
guys next time, on the nextepisode of overcome yourself.
Bye.
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