June 3, 2025 • 22 mins
Transforming from a manager into a true leader requires understanding and mastering fundamental leadership qualities. In this engaging episode, we delve deep into the enlightening perspectives shared by Dr. Andy, as he outlines four critical necessities for effective leadership: conviction, competence, character, and covenant. Through storytelling and personal experiences, Dr. Andy reveals how negative encounters with poor leadership motivated his dedication to better management practices.
The conversation traverses the vital vocabulary of leadership, emphasizing how conviction fosters passion in teams, while competence ensures your skill set is matched with your ambitions. Character remains the cornerstone of any relationship and is fundamental to establishing trust within teams. Furthermore, the idea of leadership as a covenant highlights the mutual responsibility between leaders and their followers, forging alliances built on cooperation and commitment.
Gratitude emerges as an essential element in the leadership narrative, inspiring lasting bonds and loyalty among teams. Whether you're an aspiring leader or an established manager wishing to refine your approach, this episode is packed with insights to elevate your impact and influence. Join us as we navigate the path to becoming high-performing leaders who inspire and empower others. Don’t forget to subscribe and leave your thoughts on this transformative discussion!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Nicole Tuxbury (00:01):
Hello and welcome back to the next episode
of Overcome Yourself, thepodcast.
As you know, my name is Nicoleand I'm so excited to be here
today with Dr Andy.
So, dr Andy, talk to us.
You've got a whole fourleadership principles.
I'm going to chop it all up.
So what I'm going to do is I'mgoing to go ahead and let you
(00:21):
take it away.
Tell us who you are, what youdo and who you help.
Andy Neillie (00:26):
Sure Well, nicole, first of all, thanks for having
me on your podcast.
I've been following you, I'velistened into a few of your
podcasts.
You just had some great gueststhat you've interviewed.
Yeah, dr Andy Neely, I live inAustin, texas.
I'm passionate about people whoare in positions of influence,
using their influence well.
And, nicole, my story I wish Icould say it was strategic and
(00:49):
planned out.
I just had I had a couple ofbad bosses early on.
In fact, it wasn't even likeearly on in my career.
This was like pre-careerconstruction jobs, working my
way through college.
I had become a Christian earlyin my life and I'm reading the
biography of this wonderfulservant leader.
And then I'm going to work fora guy who's got anger management
(01:12):
issues and is throwing tools atus when he couldn't control
himself.
I thought this isn't the wayit's supposed to be and that
ignited in me a passion for whatmakes good leaders good leaders
.
I own some small businesses herein Central Texas where we live.
I've got a management team ofabout seven people that I work
with that we're always trying tolead our teams well.
(01:34):
We've got about 150 people thatwork for us.
And then I travel a lot and doworkshops and conferences and
I've written several books.
I've got, yeah, you alluded to.
I'm pretty convinced that thereare these four leadership
necessities and, nicole, if youand I can be working on these
four areas, we can begin toanswer the question am I a
(01:56):
leader and not just a manager?
Simple model four leadershipnecessities, not 14, not 44,
just four.
But simple doesn't mean easy.
It's a lifetime of execution.
So long answer to a shortquestion.
Sorry about that.
Nicole Tuxbury (02:11):
No, no, no.
That is fantastic.
So tell us a little bit aboutyour story and we're going to
get back to the leadershipnecessities.
But I want to hear a little bitabout your story and how you
came to this.
You know, like, from that pointthat you mentioned of it cannot
be like this, and now you'rehere doing this.
Andy Neillie (02:30):
Yeah, really it was kind of an intersection of
my passion around people ofinfluence need to use their
influence well.
And then I've had people tellme since I was very young, andy,
you're a good communicator andreally the skill set and gifting
of communication, together withthe passion around what you and
I would call leadershipdevelopment, this whole thing of
trustworthy people of influenceand I started speaking about
(02:54):
this gosh at this point morethan 30 years ago now and you
fast forward 25 or 30 yearslater I've got just about 5
million frequent flyer milesfrom circling the globe talking
with managers and managementteams.
I've done a lot of work overthe years with sales leadership
teams globally and then about 15years ago, my wife and I had
(03:17):
the opportunity to launch somefranchise businesses here in
Central Texas where we get topractice these things that I'm
pretty passionate about.
Along the way, I've written acouple of books and my publisher
helped me turn one of them intoan Amazon bestseller, so that
doesn't really mean anythingother than a whole bunch of
people that were Kindlesubscribers and love dogs paid
(03:39):
99 cents for my book.
At one point, I think my wifeyeah, mr Bestselling author, we
spent thousands of dollars onyour book so you could give it
away at your speeches, and wegot one royalty check for $4.
So you hear somebody say I'm abestselling author, nicole.
That really doesn't mean much.
Wall Street Journal bestsellerthat's impressive.
New York Times bestsellerthat's impressive.
(03:59):
Amazoncom bestseller.
You just had a 99 cent Kindlebook that you bought some lists
to sell to.
So I continue to do that.
We own this $5 million businesshere in Central Texas and I
continue to travel.
I've been in Louisiana andNashville, tennessee and New
York and Las Vegas already thisyear leading workshops on
(04:23):
managers.
The real question we're tryingto answer is how does a manager
know if they're becoming ahigh-performing leader?
And that's what we work ontogether.
Nicole Tuxbury (04:33):
That is amazing.
That is just fantastic.
Let me ask you this what advicedo you have for entrepreneurs?
I know it's going to be alittle bit of a pivot here, but
we'll come back what advice doyou have for entrepreneurs who
want to do what you're doing andwho want to speak and to train
at these corporations and tohave five?
How many miles did you say?
(04:54):
Five million, ten million, just?
A lot of millions of miles.
Andy Neillie (04:58):
First of all, nobody should want to have five
million frequent flyer miles.
That's far too many miles.
I don't travel muchinternationally and that's
really where the miles total up.
I don't travel muchinternationally anymore.
You know, nicole, you askedsuch an insightful question.
Here is not the right answer.
I run into a lot of people whothey don't want to work for
(05:22):
anybody else.
So their real reason they wantto be an entrepreneur is just
because they want to be anentrepreneur.
And I would say very stronglyto them if you're not passionate
about some type of wrong thatyou think needs to be righted or
some type of value that youthink needs to be delivered,
needs to be delivered.
(05:42):
Nicole, part of my problem withcelebrity influencers today is
you put up a TikTok post and youget 10,000 followers and they
call you a celebrity influencer,but you really haven't added
anything of value to anybody'slife.
You know my story really is Iwill go to my grave saying
(06:03):
nobody should work for a badboss.
That's what lights my fire.
Kind of the rest of the storydeveloped simply because God
gifted me a little bit as acommunicator so I can write and
I can speak well, and so you putthose two together.
So I think I would say and youknow it's interesting because I
(06:24):
know you mainly serveentrepreneurs and part of it is
you got to lead yourself.
Well, first, I was with a guyover Christmas.
That is a young guy and I askedhim what he did and it was very
clear that somebody had toldhim I should say I'm a digital
marketer and that you can hireme to get your social media
coverage expanded.
Well, nicole, somebody like youhas got good expertise in that
(06:46):
area.
He just didn't really want ajob is what I got the sense and
so he was calling himself a SEOexpert and a digital marketeer.
Now, what are you passionateabout?
What do you think you couldbring to a client base or a
customer or your part of theuniverse and make it better
because of the time you spent?
Nicole Tuxbury (07:03):
Yeah, and I want to jump in and say it's not
that you don't have a boss.
When you jump in, you think youdon't have a boss, but when you
get serious, you realize thatyou are the boss, and now you
have double responsibility,cause, on top of being the boss,
that's like.
This is the assignment, this iswhat needs to be done, these
are the rubrics.
(07:23):
Now you're the one that's gotto go and be like all right, now
let's go get this done.
So can you talk to me a littlebit about leading yourself?
Andy Neillie (07:31):
Yeah Well, and I think you know it's interesting
because these four leadershipnecessities, the third one of
them is the character point.
You'll never be a better leaderthan you are a person, and the
very thing you're talking about.
And actually you have someother bosses as well, because
when you're an entrepreneur,you're your own boss and then
you've got clients and customerswho are either going to be
(07:52):
happy or unhappy with what youdeliver and they'll decide very
quickly whether they retain youor not.
So all of a sudden you go fromhaving one boss nine to five to
you and a bunch of other bosses24, seven so you've you've got
to lead yourself first, and youknow I've been doing this a long
time, nicole, and still for meit's the basic blocking and
tackling I I call it theleader's hour.
(08:15):
It's not a 60 minute hour, butmost good leaders I work with
they're up early and they dosome things before their day
starts.
That helps them start their daywell A lot of times.
It includes some physicalfitness, maybe some spiritual
disciplines, planning, taking alook at what's on the upcoming
(08:35):
calendar, prioritizing ABC,things like that.
I see you nodding your head.
It's the stuff that you and Iboth know to do that.
People just they think, oh, ifI could get cooler, I'd move
away from that.
No, you never move away fromusing your leader's hour well,
and so you start your day offwell and you wrap your day up
well and and you try to lookthat boss that you mentioned in
(08:58):
the mirror and say did I, did Ido a good job today?
And none of us are everyperfect.
One of the one of the corevalues that I try to live by is
extend grace to the teachableand man.
I screw up a lot, buttomorrow's a new day and I can
start that day off and hopefullytry to be a little bit better
tomorrow absolutely, and givingyourself credit for being that
(09:21):
leader and for being the workertoo.
Nicole Tuxbury (09:23):
Right, because if you're at the computer and
you're planning and you're doinglike you know, the boring stuff
, that's still work, that'sstill stuff that has to get done
, and so giving ourselves creditfor that.
So I think that's a big deal.
So talk to me about the fourleadership necessities, because
we got to know, so let's gothrough them.
Andy Neillie (09:42):
Well, so we already talked about leadership,
necessity number three.
Let me start back at the top.
Leadership necessity number oneis this passion.
We've already talked about it's, conviction, it's.
Are you seeing the biggerpicture?
Do you know the why behind the?
What you and I both know?
Simon Sinek made it famous inhis viral video 15 years ago now
I think, in his book Start With.
(10:03):
Why are you passionate aboutwhat you're doing?
Does it energize you?
Do you see the bigger picture?
Do you know how it's impactingthe world around you?
Are you a person of convictionand strategic thinking at some
level?
Now I want to put a littlecaveat around that, nicole.
I, by nature, am not apassionate person.
(10:24):
While I get indignant about badbosses, I'm kind of an
introvert and I'm kind of alibrarian kind of person.
I'm not the guy that's at thefront firing things up.
I know some people like thatthat they just wake up
passionate.
I'm not one of those.
And for some of your followerswho are saying you know, I'm
(10:46):
just not Andy's, saying you gotto have conviction, I'm not a
passionate person, I would sayto you get involved, do
something with excellence, workhard, put your hand to the plow
and if you're doing a meaningfulthing, conviction grows.
So the first leadershipnecessity you got to have some
conviction.
The second one is this wholearea you talked about in terms
of doing those things that needto be done and considering it
(11:08):
fruitful work.
You've got to be competent inwhat you do, conviction and
competence.
And if you're managing a smallteam as an entrepreneur, you've
got a couple contractors workingfor you.
Are you helping them excel atwhat they do?
This whole area of executionand competence.
The third one we already alludedto fair-minded, honest,
(11:28):
other-oriented this characterpiece.
You'll never be a better leaderthan you are a person.
I was working with a technologyfirm in Southeast Asia in
Australia a number of years agoand I had the frontline workers
in front of me and theirmanagers were in the back of
this workshop setting, asmanagers oftentimes do.
One of them was on their laptopand at some point something
(11:51):
came up on the laptop that wasnot work related, that was
inappropriate, that the managershouldn't have been spending
nine to five time.
I can't even remember the exactdetails, but Nicole is very
interesting to me because thatcompromise of this person's
character somehow came out andit filtered through the entire
(12:13):
workshop setting.
And Nicole, I will maintain tothis day.
I saw that manager lose theright to lead that day because
of a character shortcoming.
You'll never be a better leaderthan you are a person, and for
the entrepreneurs that listeninto you, that translates into
how you treat your customers andyour clients.
That translates into how youtreat your virtual VA if you're
(12:35):
using any of the oversee VAs orcontract workers for you.
So that's a third one character.
And then the last one Istruggled with for a long time.
If you look at my early stuff10 years ago, I was trying to
find four Cs conviction,competence, character.
And so I called it consistency,consistent communication,
(12:56):
communication.
And then I realized, nicole, ifyou've got a couple of people
working for you and you're theleader that you need to be,
you're engaged in a covenantwith them.
Kind of an old-fashioned word,although Guy Ritchie brought it
into our more modernnomenclature with a kind of a
brutal Guy Ritchie movie, but agood movie a couple of years ago
(13:17):
here in Texas, where I live, ifsomebody's going to get married
, love and affection, richer andpoorer, sickness and health,
all the romantic stuff there's apersonal side, what people
don't realize.
There's also a legal documentthat's signed by an officiant
and recorded with the countyclerk.
There is both a formal and apersonal side to that covenant.
(13:38):
And when I realized, nicole,people that are good leaders,
they're engaged that way withtheir clients, with their
employees, with theircontractors.
Yeah, you told me you'd havethis part of the project done by
Thursday.
Your kid got really sick andyou missed a couple of days of
work.
We still got to get it done.
But I understand, if you've gotemployees, it's the manager
(14:03):
that somehow balances thetension of a project deadline
with the need for PTO becausesomebody's got an ailing parent
at home, and the tension offormal and personal relationship
.
Brene Brown, in one of yourrecent podcasts you mentioned
one of her great quotes.
I think she's done a great dealbringing that back into the
(14:24):
forefront of our thinking thatleadership is hard because it's
a balance of.
We've got a mission to fulfilland I've got people I need to
take care of, and so I think theright word is covenant
Conviction, competence,character and covenant.
You want to know if you'rebecoming a high-performing
leader and not just managingthings in front of you.
(14:46):
Are you growing in those fourareas?
Nicole Tuxbury (14:50):
That's amazing, and it's about.
It's not about doing thosethings, it's about becoming
those things you know, like withyour example about the laptop,
because what is in us overflowsright, and so that you know it
comes out.
Right, it comes out.
So I want to know, though whatpart does gratitude play in all
(15:13):
this?
What part does gratitude playin leadership?
Andy Neillie (15:16):
yeah, so I think probably that that whole piece
of recognizing, first of all asa as a christian who's trying to
live out my faith, and justrecognizing I'm grateful to god
for the, the, the breath that Ibreathe and the passion he's
built in me and then that wholecharacter piece of recognizing I
(15:39):
couldn't do it on my own.
I've got people around me thatare making things happen.
I've got tools that make my jobeasier and my work go faster.
And Patrick Lencioni wrote thatwonderful book, the Ideal Team
Player, a number of years agoand he talks about the ideal
team player being humble, hungryand smart.
And I think gratitude comes inwhen you and I recognize, as
(16:04):
humble beings, that we can'tpush the ball forward in the
universe without the cooperationof others around us.
And so it should.
I think humility and gratitudeprobably go together hand in
hand, because you know theGordon Gekko of Wall Street, the
, you know that kind of beatyour chest leadership.
(16:27):
You know that died in the 1950swith our parents and our
grandparents I think.
Nicole Tuxbury (16:34):
And I think of your example of balancing
leadership with deadlines, butalso with the people, and
thinking about the gratitude assomeone who's working for
someone who can balance that out, and the gratitude that you
have towards a leader who doesthat and that inspires
commitment.
That inspires like stickingwith you, like you know.
(16:58):
That's how you show people thatyou're there for them, right,
and then they return that favor.
I think that's so important.
Andy Neillie (17:05):
Yeah, I think Stephen Covey said it more than
20 years ago People join jobsfor the organization.
They leave because of theirboss.
You're exactly right.
We flip that.
You know you have people thatwant to work with you.
I'll sign up again with Nicolebecause she made me feel good
about myself.
She helped me do what I neededto do better.
That's leadership.
I echo what you said and it'salways a journey right.
(17:27):
As I heard somebody say a whileback, leadership is always a
series of commas.
It is never a period.
Anybody that says is always aseries of commas.
It is never a period.
Anybody that says I'm aleadership expert probably that
whole gratitude and humilitything you and I just talked
about.
They're missing something there.
(17:48):
Other people can call them that, but I think there should be a
bunch of humility around that,because you owe the world around
you a lot for what you'vebecome.
Nicole Tuxbury (17:55):
And it just made me think of something funny.
Like I don't call myself agenius, but my clients like to.
So when they call me a geniusI'm like, oh thanks, you know.
But I'm not like I'm such agenius, unless I'm joking around
, you know.
Andy Neillie (18:08):
Probably a year and a half ago, where, as they
were kicking off their meetings,their manager came in and
handed out new business cards toeverybody.
This was a sales organization,so they're client facing,
they're out selling whatever itwas and everybody's business
card.
It said trusted advisor.
What was their job description?
Trusted advisor?
Oh, I just hated that, youdon't.
(18:30):
You don't get to call yourselftrusted advisor.
You don't get to call yourselftrusted advisor.
You don't get to call yourselfgenius.
You don't get to call yourselfexpert.
Others may choose to based onyour humility and passion and
hard work and the gratitude youbring to the world, but yeah,
leave that up to somebody else.
You don't.
You don't get to call yourselfa trusted advisor that's, that's
(18:51):
interesting and it is.
Nicole Tuxbury (18:52):
There's something, there's something
just like off about it.
Right, like you see it, andyou're like well, I don't know
if I can trust you, like what,like, I don't know you you know,
yeah, it just gives up those,those.
So that's very interesting,yeah, and I see how that plays
into leadership, um, and intothe role of being right, and
(19:15):
that's how we are able to beinstead of just doing or trying
something.
Okay, that is all amazing.
So, dr Andy, let me know howcan my audience stay in touch
with you?
Andy Neillie (19:27):
Well, a couple of ways, Neely Leadership.
And the good bad news is myname is spelled distinctly
enough that if you get it wrongyou won't find it.
But if you get it right, I'mthe only one.
N-e-i-l-l-i-e, neely Leadership.
I've got a website and up atthe top of the page they can
sign up and just grab 15 minuteswith me to pick my brain.
I love talking with peopleabout this kind of stuff.
You and I both know I've also.
(19:48):
I've written a little eight pagee-book called the three
imperative leadershipconversations how to hold a hard
conversation, how to hold acoaching conversation and how to
hold a threefold affirmationconversation.
I think about a lot of yourentrepreneurs.
This could be a very practicalbook because they have to have
conversations with clients,right, and they need to have
conversations with vendors andsuppliers that they support.
(20:10):
So they can get that ebook atleadershipmaterialscom, a simple
leadershipmaterialscom website.
A couple of years ago my coachsaid Andy, your problem, you're
going to put up this ebook.
There aren't any good websitesleft.
And I Googled and played aroundand I found
leadershipmaterialscom.
He said, man, buy that, that'sa great landing page.
So they go there that eightpage ebook.
Nicole Tuxbury (20:33):
Yeah, that is fantastic.
Yes, guys, that's a great tip.
Like if you go and you'relooking for a domain and you
find one that is just like, likethat's just so SEO rich, right,
like that is just like the mostobvious thing you can think of,
grab it, like do not let thatsit there, because that is that
is a beautiful $30 a year.
Andy Neillie (20:51):
whatever they want , just to hold on to that.
Nicole Tuxbury (20:56):
Yep, $15 a year, whatever they want, just to
hold on to that.
Yep, yes, yes, yes, okay, sobig business lesson there, all
right, dr Andy.
Now, as we're signing off here,I want to know do you have any
final tips for the audience?
What's like the big, best,juiciest tip that you have for
your clients?
Andy Neillie (21:08):
Well, I think it's what you kind of let in with
and what we've been talkingabout the whole time this idea
that you'll never be a betterleader than you are a person.
It starts with me Turn inwardbefore you turn outward.
Make sure you are doing thethings that communicate humility
that would have other peopletrust your expertise.
(21:29):
Be the person, as you said,nicole.
It's really about being be theperson.
We're never going to be perfect.
We all stumble, but to the bestof our abilities, be the person
.
As you said, nicole.
It's really about being be theperson.
We're never going to be perfect.
We all stumble, but to the bestof our abilities, be the person
that you would want them tofeel good about working with,
and I think that's part of thegrowth of leadership.
When you're doing that well,you're on your way to becoming a
(21:51):
good leader.
Nicole Tuxbury (21:53):
I love that.
That is fantastic.
Thank you so much, dr Andy.
This has been absolutelyamazing and we will see you guys
next time on the next episodeof Overcome Yourself, the
podcast.
Bye, that's the wrong thing.
Hello and welcome back to the next episode
of Overcome Yourself, thepodcast.
As you know, my name is Nicoleand I'm so excited to be here
today with Dr Andy.
So, dr Andy, talk to us.
You've got a whole fourleadership principles.
I'm going to chop it all up.
So what I'm going to do is I'mgoing to go ahead and let you
(00:21):
take it away.
Tell us who you are, what youdo and who you help.
Andy Neillie (00:26):
Sure Well, nicole, first of all, thanks for having
me on your podcast.
I've been following you, I'velistened into a few of your
podcasts.
You just had some great gueststhat you've interviewed.
Yeah, dr Andy Neely, I live inAustin, texas.
I'm passionate about people whoare in positions of influence,
using their influence well.
And, nicole, my story I wish Icould say it was strategic and
(00:49):
planned out.
I just had I had a couple ofbad bosses early on.
In fact, it wasn't even likeearly on in my career.
This was like pre-careerconstruction jobs, working my
way through college.
I had become a Christian earlyin my life and I'm reading the
biography of this wonderfulservant leader.
And then I'm going to work fora guy who's got anger management
(01:12):
issues and is throwing tools atus when he couldn't control
himself.
I thought this isn't the wayit's supposed to be and that
ignited in me a passion for whatmakes good leaders good leaders
.
I own some small businesses herein Central Texas where we live.
I've got a management team ofabout seven people that I work
with that we're always trying tolead our teams well.
(01:34):
We've got about 150 people thatwork for us.
And then I travel a lot and doworkshops and conferences and
I've written several books.
I've got, yeah, you alluded to.
I'm pretty convinced that thereare these four leadership
necessities and, nicole, if youand I can be working on these
four areas, we can begin toanswer the question am I a
(01:56):
leader and not just a manager?
Simple model four leadershipnecessities, not 14, not 44,
just four.
But simple doesn't mean easy.
It's a lifetime of execution.
So long answer to a shortquestion.
Sorry about that.
Nicole Tuxbury (02:11):
No, no, no.
That is fantastic.
So tell us a little bit aboutyour story and we're going to
get back to the leadershipnecessities.
But I want to hear a little bitabout your story and how you
came to this.
You know, like, from that pointthat you mentioned of it cannot
be like this, and now you'rehere doing this.
Andy Neillie (02:30):
Yeah, really it was kind of an intersection of
my passion around people ofinfluence need to use their
influence well.
And then I've had people tellme since I was very young, andy,
you're a good communicator andreally the skill set and gifting
of communication, together withthe passion around what you and
I would call leadershipdevelopment, this whole thing of
trustworthy people of influenceand I started speaking about
(02:54):
this gosh at this point morethan 30 years ago now and you
fast forward 25 or 30 yearslater I've got just about 5
million frequent flyer milesfrom circling the globe talking
with managers and managementteams.
I've done a lot of work overthe years with sales leadership
teams globally and then about 15years ago, my wife and I had
(03:17):
the opportunity to launch somefranchise businesses here in
Central Texas where we get topractice these things that I'm
pretty passionate about.
Along the way, I've written acouple of books and my publisher
helped me turn one of them intoan Amazon bestseller, so that
doesn't really mean anythingother than a whole bunch of
people that were Kindlesubscribers and love dogs paid
(03:39):
99 cents for my book.
At one point, I think my wifeyeah, mr Bestselling author, we
spent thousands of dollars onyour book so you could give it
away at your speeches, and wegot one royalty check for $4.
So you hear somebody say I'm abestselling author, nicole.
That really doesn't mean much.
Wall Street Journal bestsellerthat's impressive.
New York Times bestsellerthat's impressive.
(03:59):
Amazoncom bestseller.
You just had a 99 cent Kindlebook that you bought some lists
to sell to.
So I continue to do that.
We own this $5 million businesshere in Central Texas and I
continue to travel.
I've been in Louisiana andNashville, tennessee and New
York and Las Vegas already thisyear leading workshops on
(04:23):
managers.
The real question we're tryingto answer is how does a manager
know if they're becoming ahigh-performing leader?
And that's what we work ontogether.
Nicole Tuxbury (04:33):
That is amazing.
That is just fantastic.
Let me ask you this what advicedo you have for entrepreneurs?
I know it's going to be alittle bit of a pivot here, but
we'll come back what advice doyou have for entrepreneurs who
want to do what you're doing andwho want to speak and to train
at these corporations and tohave five?
How many miles did you say?
(04:54):
Five million, ten million, just?
A lot of millions of miles.
Andy Neillie (04:58):
First of all, nobody should want to have five
million frequent flyer miles.
That's far too many miles.
I don't travel muchinternationally and that's
really where the miles total up.
I don't travel muchinternationally anymore.
You know, nicole, you askedsuch an insightful question.
Here is not the right answer.
I run into a lot of people whothey don't want to work for
(05:22):
anybody else.
So their real reason they wantto be an entrepreneur is just
because they want to be anentrepreneur.
And I would say very stronglyto them if you're not passionate
about some type of wrong thatyou think needs to be righted or
some type of value that youthink needs to be delivered,
needs to be delivered.
(05:42):
Nicole, part of my problem withcelebrity influencers today is
you put up a TikTok post and youget 10,000 followers and they
call you a celebrity influencer,but you really haven't added
anything of value to anybody'slife.
You know my story really is Iwill go to my grave saying
(06:03):
nobody should work for a badboss.
That's what lights my fire.
Kind of the rest of the storydeveloped simply because God
gifted me a little bit as acommunicator so I can write and
I can speak well, and so you putthose two together.
So I think I would say and youknow it's interesting because I
(06:24):
know you mainly serveentrepreneurs and part of it is
you got to lead yourself.
Well, first, I was with a guyover Christmas.
That is a young guy and I askedhim what he did and it was very
clear that somebody had toldhim I should say I'm a digital
marketer and that you can hireme to get your social media
coverage expanded.
Well, nicole, somebody like youhas got good expertise in that
(06:46):
area.
He just didn't really want ajob is what I got the sense and
so he was calling himself a SEOexpert and a digital marketeer.
Now, what are you passionateabout?
What do you think you couldbring to a client base or a
customer or your part of theuniverse and make it better
because of the time you spent?
Nicole Tuxbury (07:03):
Yeah, and I want to jump in and say it's not
that you don't have a boss.
When you jump in, you think youdon't have a boss, but when you
get serious, you realize thatyou are the boss, and now you
have double responsibility,cause, on top of being the boss,
that's like.
This is the assignment, this iswhat needs to be done, these
are the rubrics.
(07:23):
Now you're the one that's gotto go and be like all right, now
let's go get this done.
So can you talk to me a littlebit about leading yourself?
Andy Neillie (07:31):
Yeah Well, and I think you know it's interesting
because these four leadershipnecessities, the third one of
them is the character point.
You'll never be a better leaderthan you are a person, and the
very thing you're talking about.
And actually you have someother bosses as well, because
when you're an entrepreneur,you're your own boss and then
you've got clients and customerswho are either going to be
(07:52):
happy or unhappy with what youdeliver and they'll decide very
quickly whether they retain youor not.
So all of a sudden you go fromhaving one boss nine to five to
you and a bunch of other bosses24, seven so you've you've got
to lead yourself first, and youknow I've been doing this a long
time, nicole, and still for meit's the basic blocking and
tackling I I call it theleader's hour.
(08:15):
It's not a 60 minute hour, butmost good leaders I work with
they're up early and they dosome things before their day
starts.
That helps them start their daywell A lot of times.
It includes some physicalfitness, maybe some spiritual
disciplines, planning, taking alook at what's on the upcoming
(08:35):
calendar, prioritizing ABC,things like that.
I see you nodding your head.
It's the stuff that you and Iboth know to do that.
People just they think, oh, ifI could get cooler, I'd move
away from that.
No, you never move away fromusing your leader's hour well,
and so you start your day offwell and you wrap your day up
well and and you try to lookthat boss that you mentioned in
(08:58):
the mirror and say did I, did Ido a good job today?
And none of us are everyperfect.
One of the one of the corevalues that I try to live by is
extend grace to the teachableand man.
I screw up a lot, buttomorrow's a new day and I can
start that day off and hopefullytry to be a little bit better
tomorrow absolutely, and givingyourself credit for being that
(09:21):
leader and for being the workertoo.
Nicole Tuxbury (09:23):
Right, because if you're at the computer and
you're planning and you're doinglike you know, the boring stuff
, that's still work, that'sstill stuff that has to get done
, and so giving ourselves creditfor that.
So I think that's a big deal.
So talk to me about the fourleadership necessities, because
we got to know, so let's gothrough them.
Andy Neillie (09:42):
Well, so we already talked about leadership,
necessity number three.
Let me start back at the top.
Leadership necessity number oneis this passion.
We've already talked about it's, conviction, it's.
Are you seeing the biggerpicture?
Do you know the why behind the?
What you and I both know?
Simon Sinek made it famous inhis viral video 15 years ago now
I think, in his book Start With.
(10:03):
Why are you passionate aboutwhat you're doing?
Does it energize you?
Do you see the bigger picture?
Do you know how it's impactingthe world around you?
Are you a person of convictionand strategic thinking at some
level?
Now I want to put a littlecaveat around that, nicole.
I, by nature, am not apassionate person.
(10:24):
While I get indignant about badbosses, I'm kind of an
introvert and I'm kind of alibrarian kind of person.
I'm not the guy that's at thefront firing things up.
I know some people like thatthat they just wake up
passionate.
I'm not one of those.
And for some of your followerswho are saying you know, I'm
(10:46):
just not Andy's, saying you gotto have conviction, I'm not a
passionate person, I would sayto you get involved, do
something with excellence, workhard, put your hand to the plow
and if you're doing a meaningfulthing, conviction grows.
So the first leadershipnecessity you got to have some
conviction.
The second one is this wholearea you talked about in terms
of doing those things that needto be done and considering it
(11:08):
fruitful work.
You've got to be competent inwhat you do, conviction and
competence.
And if you're managing a smallteam as an entrepreneur, you've
got a couple contractors workingfor you.
Are you helping them excel atwhat they do?
This whole area of executionand competence.
The third one we already alludedto fair-minded, honest,
(11:28):
other-oriented this characterpiece.
You'll never be a better leaderthan you are a person.
I was working with a technologyfirm in Southeast Asia in
Australia a number of years agoand I had the frontline workers
in front of me and theirmanagers were in the back of
this workshop setting, asmanagers oftentimes do.
One of them was on their laptopand at some point something
(11:51):
came up on the laptop that wasnot work related, that was
inappropriate, that the managershouldn't have been spending
nine to five time.
I can't even remember the exactdetails, but Nicole is very
interesting to me because thatcompromise of this person's
character somehow came out andit filtered through the entire
(12:13):
workshop setting.
And Nicole, I will maintain tothis day.
I saw that manager lose theright to lead that day because
of a character shortcoming.
You'll never be a better leaderthan you are a person, and for
the entrepreneurs that listeninto you, that translates into
how you treat your customers andyour clients.
That translates into how youtreat your virtual VA if you're
(12:35):
using any of the oversee VAs orcontract workers for you.
So that's a third one character.
And then the last one Istruggled with for a long time.
If you look at my early stuff10 years ago, I was trying to
find four Cs conviction,competence, character.
And so I called it consistency,consistent communication,
(12:56):
communication.
And then I realized, nicole, ifyou've got a couple of people
working for you and you're theleader that you need to be,
you're engaged in a covenantwith them.
Kind of an old-fashioned word,although Guy Ritchie brought it
into our more modernnomenclature with a kind of a
brutal Guy Ritchie movie, but agood movie a couple of years ago
(13:17):
here in Texas, where I live, ifsomebody's going to get married
, love and affection, richer andpoorer, sickness and health,
all the romantic stuff there's apersonal side, what people
don't realize.
There's also a legal documentthat's signed by an officiant
and recorded with the countyclerk.
There is both a formal and apersonal side to that covenant.
(13:38):
And when I realized, nicole,people that are good leaders,
they're engaged that way withtheir clients, with their
employees, with theircontractors.
Yeah, you told me you'd havethis part of the project done by
Thursday.
Your kid got really sick andyou missed a couple of days of
work.
We still got to get it done.
But I understand, if you've gotemployees, it's the manager
(14:03):
that somehow balances thetension of a project deadline
with the need for PTO becausesomebody's got an ailing parent
at home, and the tension offormal and personal relationship
.
Brene Brown, in one of yourrecent podcasts you mentioned
one of her great quotes.
I think she's done a great dealbringing that back into the
(14:24):
forefront of our thinking thatleadership is hard because it's
a balance of.
We've got a mission to fulfilland I've got people I need to
take care of, and so I think theright word is covenant
Conviction, competence,character and covenant.
You want to know if you'rebecoming a high-performing
leader and not just managingthings in front of you.
(14:46):
Are you growing in those fourareas?
Nicole Tuxbury (14:50):
That's amazing, and it's about.
It's not about doing thosethings, it's about becoming
those things you know, like withyour example about the laptop,
because what is in us overflowsright, and so that you know it
comes out.
Right, it comes out.
So I want to know, though whatpart does gratitude play in all
(15:13):
this?
What part does gratitude playin leadership?
Andy Neillie (15:16):
yeah, so I think probably that that whole piece
of recognizing, first of all asa as a christian who's trying to
live out my faith, and justrecognizing I'm grateful to god
for the, the, the breath that Ibreathe and the passion he's
built in me and then that wholecharacter piece of recognizing I
(15:39):
couldn't do it on my own.
I've got people around me thatare making things happen.
I've got tools that make my jobeasier and my work go faster.
And Patrick Lencioni wrote thatwonderful book, the Ideal Team
Player, a number of years agoand he talks about the ideal
team player being humble, hungryand smart.
And I think gratitude comes inwhen you and I recognize, as
(16:04):
humble beings, that we can'tpush the ball forward in the
universe without the cooperationof others around us.
And so it should.
I think humility and gratitudeprobably go together hand in
hand, because you know theGordon Gekko of Wall Street, the
, you know that kind of beatyour chest leadership.
(16:27):
You know that died in the 1950swith our parents and our
grandparents I think.
Nicole Tuxbury (16:34):
And I think of your example of balancing
leadership with deadlines, butalso with the people, and
thinking about the gratitude assomeone who's working for
someone who can balance that out, and the gratitude that you
have towards a leader who doesthat and that inspires
commitment.
That inspires like stickingwith you, like you know.
(16:58):
That's how you show people thatyou're there for them, right,
and then they return that favor.
I think that's so important.
Andy Neillie (17:05):
Yeah, I think Stephen Covey said it more than
20 years ago People join jobsfor the organization.
They leave because of theirboss.
You're exactly right.
We flip that.
You know you have people thatwant to work with you.
I'll sign up again with Nicolebecause she made me feel good
about myself.
She helped me do what I neededto do better.
That's leadership.
I echo what you said and it'salways a journey right.
(17:27):
As I heard somebody say a whileback, leadership is always a
series of commas.
It is never a period.
Anybody that says is always aseries of commas.
It is never a period.
Anybody that says I'm aleadership expert probably that
whole gratitude and humilitything you and I just talked
about.
They're missing something there.
(17:48):
Other people can call them that, but I think there should be a
bunch of humility around that,because you owe the world around
you a lot for what you'vebecome.
Nicole Tuxbury (17:55):
And it just made me think of something funny.
Like I don't call myself agenius, but my clients like to.
So when they call me a geniusI'm like, oh thanks, you know.
But I'm not like I'm such agenius, unless I'm joking around
, you know.
Andy Neillie (18:08):
Probably a year and a half ago, where, as they
were kicking off their meetings,their manager came in and
handed out new business cards toeverybody.
This was a sales organization,so they're client facing,
they're out selling whatever itwas and everybody's business
card.
It said trusted advisor.
What was their job description?
Trusted advisor?
Oh, I just hated that, youdon't.
(18:30):
You don't get to call yourselftrusted advisor.
You don't get to call yourselftrusted advisor.
You don't get to call yourselfgenius.
You don't get to call yourselfexpert.
Others may choose to based onyour humility and passion and
hard work and the gratitude youbring to the world, but yeah,
leave that up to somebody else.
You don't.
You don't get to call yourselfa trusted advisor that's, that's
(18:51):
interesting and it is.
Nicole Tuxbury (18:52):
There's something, there's something
just like off about it.
Right, like you see it, andyou're like well, I don't know
if I can trust you, like what,like, I don't know you you know,
yeah, it just gives up those,those.
So that's very interesting,yeah, and I see how that plays
into leadership, um, and intothe role of being right, and
(19:15):
that's how we are able to beinstead of just doing or trying
something.
Okay, that is all amazing.
So, dr Andy, let me know howcan my audience stay in touch
with you?
Andy Neillie (19:27):
Well, a couple of ways, Neely Leadership.
And the good bad news is myname is spelled distinctly
enough that if you get it wrongyou won't find it.
But if you get it right, I'mthe only one.
N-e-i-l-l-i-e, neely Leadership.
I've got a website and up atthe top of the page they can
sign up and just grab 15 minuteswith me to pick my brain.
I love talking with peopleabout this kind of stuff.
You and I both know I've also.
(19:48):
I've written a little eight pagee-book called the three
imperative leadershipconversations how to hold a hard
conversation, how to hold acoaching conversation and how to
hold a threefold affirmationconversation.
I think about a lot of yourentrepreneurs.
This could be a very practicalbook because they have to have
conversations with clients,right, and they need to have
conversations with vendors andsuppliers that they support.
(20:10):
So they can get that ebook atleadershipmaterialscom, a simple
leadershipmaterialscom website.
A couple of years ago my coachsaid Andy, your problem, you're
going to put up this ebook.
There aren't any good websitesleft.
And I Googled and played aroundand I found
leadershipmaterialscom.
He said, man, buy that, that'sa great landing page.
So they go there that eightpage ebook.
Nicole Tuxbury (20:33):
Yeah, that is fantastic.
Yes, guys, that's a great tip.
Like if you go and you'relooking for a domain and you
find one that is just like, likethat's just so SEO rich, right,
like that is just like the mostobvious thing you can think of,
grab it, like do not let thatsit there, because that is that
is a beautiful $30 a year.
Andy Neillie (20:51):
whatever they want , just to hold on to that.
Nicole Tuxbury (20:56):
Yep, $15 a year, whatever they want, just to
hold on to that.
Yep, yes, yes, yes, okay, sobig business lesson there, all
right, dr Andy.
Now, as we're signing off here,I want to know do you have any
final tips for the audience?
What's like the big, best,juiciest tip that you have for
your clients?
Andy Neillie (21:08):
Well, I think it's what you kind of let in with
and what we've been talkingabout the whole time this idea
that you'll never be a betterleader than you are a person.
It starts with me Turn inwardbefore you turn outward.
Make sure you are doing thethings that communicate humility
that would have other peopletrust your expertise.
(21:29):
Be the person, as you said,nicole.
It's really about being be theperson.
We're never going to be perfect.
We all stumble, but to the bestof our abilities, be the person
.
As you said, nicole.
It's really about being be theperson.
We're never going to be perfect.
We all stumble, but to the bestof our abilities, be the person
that you would want them tofeel good about working with,
and I think that's part of thegrowth of leadership.
When you're doing that well,you're on your way to becoming a
(21:51):
good leader.
Nicole Tuxbury (21:53):
I love that.
That is fantastic.
Thank you so much, dr Andy.
This has been absolutelyamazing and we will see you guys
next time on the next episodeof Overcome Yourself, the
podcast.
Bye, that's the wrong thing.
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