Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hello and welcome
back to the next episode of
Overcome Yourself, the podcast.
As you know, my name is Nicoleand today I am here with Jim,
and Jim is an actor and he'salso a veteran from the Marines.
Is that correct, jim?
Speaker 2 (00:17):
That is correct.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
All right, thank you
so much for being here today,
and so I want you to take itaway, jim.
Tell us a little bit about youand about what you do and who
you help.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
I guess just a little
bit about me.
I was born in Jersey.
I grew up, I guess I had aunique aspect growing up because
as a little one I had a realevent that kind of triggered
everything for me.
When I was like four years oldmy parents took me to midnight
mass and the concept of eternityand it just it was too much for
(00:56):
my little brain handle.
So I kind of regressed into mymindset and I guess
instinctually I treated my brainlike a computer.
I started creating differentprograms for myself and two of
my most prominent were what Irefer to as my suit bubbles.
My suits were essentiallydifferent versions.
My bubbles were like theholodeck in the Star Trek
universe, where they could beanytime, anyplace, anywhere.
(01:18):
So what I would do as a littleone was I would take these
different versions of me, throwthem in a bubble.
As a little one I would takethese different versions of me,
throw them in a bubble and Iwould run through different
scenarios before I went into asituation so I could define more
choices in the moment.
So it was allowing me to bemore present growing up and it
helped me dramatically during, Iguess, during puberty, because
(01:38):
emotions didn't trigger so muchoff of me because I'd been
exercising them so much growingup as a little one.
But it really came to a pointwhen I got into acting.
It was in 2003 when I started,but it was 2008 when the idea
hit me.
I was doing a film calledHunger and I was acting opposite
of this actor named LyndonAshby.
(01:58):
I wasn't even on camera at thetime, it was just filming him.
But when they yelled cut, hereached over and shook my hand
like I pulled his kid out of afire, and I was okay and it took
me a little while to realize it.
But even though I wasn't acting, I was present in the moment
and that's what allowed him tobe a better actor in the moment
himself, because a lot of timeswhen people aren't camera,
(02:21):
they're just dry, blah, blah,blah, whatever they don't.
They're not thinking about theother actor, so the other actor.
It's hard for them to give thebest performance.
In that situation where I waseven though not in my character
I was present.
So it was that moment that kindof triggered all and made me
realize that everything that Ihad done, that gave me all these
tools and techniques, wasteachable.
(02:42):
Someone had done it ahead oftime via acting tools and
techniques.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
That is absolutely
amazing.
Can you tell me a little bitmore?
Speaker 2 (02:55):
Oh, absolutely Like I
said, it unpacks a lot.
I like to think of it like thisA submarine is underwater,
right, it can't see anything.
It's sonar.
It has to rely on that.
So it shoots out a ping.
These pings come back.
It lets you know if there'sother submarines, if there's
ships on the surface, where theground is, if there's a whale
next to it.
That's what some of these toolsand techniques work on.
(03:19):
One is being the Stanislavskisystem.
It's based off of sevenquestions.
Stanislavski said it's basedoff of seven questions.
Um, stanislavski is thisRussian guy.
He transformed, acting like.
I feel like it's a mistake, youcan call it acting anymore.
It's more about being andbecoming.
He made it philosophical, um,but in, in the simplest essence,
he broke it down into sevenquestions.
(03:41):
And he also has something thatgoes along with these seven
questions.
It's called the Stanislavski'smagic.
If.
His magic if is kind of like myholodeck, it's a what if?
Thought experiment.
Both of those things arethought experiments.
So basically, you go into ascene and you run it and then
you start back.
Okay, what if this happens?
You know what if this happens?
So you just change it, like ifI'm going into a job interview,
(04:03):
I can.
What if that situation sixdifferent ways easy that I go
into it.
I'm more prepared than theperson next to me who's going to
that job interview the firsttime in real time.
Anyway, going back to theStanislavski system, seven
questions.
These questions are designed tobreak down a moment.
Now, when I read thesequestions, you'll realize that
these aren't just for acting.
(04:23):
These are life questions thatpeople fail to answer.
Number one is who am I?
This is the moment in relationto you.
This is a Greek philosophicalquestion.
I mean, it goes way back, butit's important because it
grounds you in the moment, letsyou know who you are, what's
your role in the moment?
Number two where am I?
(04:43):
This is the moment in relationto the environment.
You are in number three when isit?
This is the moment in relationto time, like if I'm, you know,
driving to work.
Do I want to drive through rushhour?
You got to be aware of those,uh.
Number four what do I want?
This is the moment in relationto purpose.
Number five why do I want it?
This is the moment in relationto purpose.
(05:04):
Number five why do I want it?
This is the moment in relationto desire.
It's important to know both ofthese questions, because if
you're not doing something thatyou want, you could be doing
something someone else wants.
That's why you have todifferentiate.
It's not just about what you'redoing, it's why you're doing it
.
Number six how do I get it?
This is the moment in relationto action.
What are you physically goingto do?
What's your plan to make ithappen?
(05:24):
And number seven what's in myway?
This is the moment in relationto obstacles.
So, basically, as an actor, Iwould take these seven questions
, break down every moment in thescript, beat by beat by beat,
not just a scene, every moment,and in those moments, as I ask
these questions, all theseanswers would arise and that
(05:45):
allows me to make more choices.
What I'm saying is, if you takethese and use it in life, it
works the same way, becausegrowing up as a kid, let's tell
you that it's like make goodchoices, don't be stupid.
But what is that?
It's a platitude.
It doesn't tell me what to do.
These seven questions aredesigned to break down a moment
to let you find out.
Oh, oh, there's all these otherthings in here going on that
(06:06):
I'm not even paying attention to.
It's situational.
That's what we call it in themilitary.
I'm saying there's a completesystem that allows us to give
emotional and mental literacy tomankind.
Because when we gave humankindwritten literacy, it changed the
world.
When we gave them numericliteracy, it changed the world.
I'm arguing well, when we gavethem numeric literacy changed
the world.
I'm arguing well, if we gavethem a systemic way to teach
(06:28):
them mental and emotionalliteracy, why would they change
the world?
Like with adolescents, we allgo through it.
We all go through adolescence,but there's not a real answer to
give our children.
Okay, this is what you do, thisis how you can buff yourself up
.
It's just like hey take care.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
See you on the other
side.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
Make good choices.
What I'm saying is that weteach these children, these
children, these systems side byside in their youth and
elementary.
By the time they hitadolescence they're going to be
emotionally buff, like when Iwent to the Marine Corps boot
camp I was dying physically.
There was other kids who ranthree miles in 16.
And change those kids.
It was easy for them becausethey got they worked out.
(07:12):
They were athletes beforehand.
So I'm saying if we give ourlittle ones a chance to become
mental and emotional athletes inelementary school by the time
they hit adolescence it's notgoing to be so bad for them.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
I think that makes a
lot of sense, and I was
picturing if you are, forexample, at work talking to a
coworker about a project, versusat home trying to figure out
what your kid wants to eat.
Those are two completelydifferent versions of yourself.
You're not going to talk tothose people the same way and
(07:45):
you have to go through thatscript.
Well, who am I?
What do I want here?
What do I want from them?
At work?
It's going to be totallydifferent than at home, or even
as an entrepreneur.
So can you tell me a little bitabout how I, as an entrepreneur
, might be able to apply some ofthese acting tips to, for
example, making videos?
Speaker 2 (08:05):
right, we're all
acting for example, making
videos, right, we're all acting.
This goes hand in hands with it, because it allows you to open
up more roles.
It's like, okay, who are you inthis moment?
You are a host, so it allowsyou to see.
Okay, as a role, as a host,what am I here to do?
Yeah, and like, you may have toanswer these questions because
you've done this, but this islike basics for someone just
(08:26):
starting out.
So, as a host, my job is to makea welcoming environment for my
guests, make something alsothat's palpable for my audience.
You know it can't be over theirhead, it can't be below them,
it's got to be in their rangebecause if not, they're not
going to enjoy it.
So it allows you all thosethings Breaking down what do you
(08:47):
want?
Want, like, what is the purposeof your podcast?
Why are you?
Because if, if you're, ifyou're just doing something to
do it, the energy is not goingto be the same as if you have
that.
Why?
Because most people don'trealize, like when somebody says
, oh, you're so passionate,you're so intense, that's just
emotional energy that someonehas used to their advantage as a
tool for their life.
So if you understand thesethings now, you can take that
(09:10):
you understand your why and yourwhat.
Take that emotional energy,push through it.
Now you have potency.
So, like I say, there's, thereare all these little tools that
are out there because, I mean,the entertainment industry has
flushed all them out.
It's just we don't look to likeactors to have this kind of
knowledge because they'regenerally not supposed to.
But in this one instance wehave to appreciate.
(09:32):
It's like if you look at artsmetal workers work with metal,
glass workers with glass,musicians with instruments,
paintbrush painters with paintsand brushes.
An actor works with the humanmind and emotion.
That's the marble we chisel.
But the rub is we don't have amind and emotions for the stage
in life.
So these masters, 100 years ago, when they started creating
(09:54):
these tools and techniques foractors in the imaginative, never
thought of the implicationsthat, oh wait, these work
throughout everything in lifebecause they can enhance that
Like, even as an entrepreneur.
These seven questions yeah, theywork for you, but guess who
(10:15):
else?
They work for your employees.
If you need your employees anddevelop them as individuals,
that would develop them asemployees, you know, just as a
byproduct.
So you can take these tools andstrengthen your whole workforce
, because nobody's reallythinking about that.
The whole, the whole game.
Name of the game is to makeeverybody the same, but that
doesn't work because you alwaysrun into that thing where you're
in the boardroom it's like allright, let's come up, let's
think outside the box.
Guys, how are you going to askpeople to think outside the box
(10:37):
when you've trained them to beinside the box their whole life?
Yeah, anything else outside ofall the possibilities.
It's kind of like that conceptof multiple personalities where
there's different versions ofyou and all these other
universes.
I'm saying, with all your bestselves, pull them out of those
universes and stick them intoyou mentally and emotionally so
you can pull out the bestversion of you at any point in
(10:59):
time.
Because, like you're sayingearlier, you wouldn't be certain
uh versions of you.
It's in uh common speech wecall it code switching.
What I'm saying this is hypercode switching, this is
spiritual shapeshifting.
So tuxedo at the beach, maybefor wedding photos, but mostly
not.
So you wouldn't be with someversions, like I wouldn't act
the same way in front of grandmaas I would my buddies in the
bar.
(11:19):
So if you develop yourself withall these different versions,
you have a whole wardrobe ofdifferent versions of you that
you can pull in and out of themoment.
So when I go to a party ohwhere's the life of the party
version?
I'm going to take that guy outand bring him out, because
things like even like stagefright or standing in front of
public speaking all that reallyis is not known.
(11:41):
People haven't answered allthose moments.
If you answer all the beats andall the moments, you're not
going to have stage fright.
It's easy, unless you have likeclinical agoraphobia or
something like that or one ofthose, something clinical.
But if it's, not clinical yeah,you can grow past it.
It's everything in life is alearned skill.
(12:02):
Do you have the tools andtechniques to learn those skills
?
What I'm saying is these arethem.
We're just overlooking them.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Yes, and I have an
acting coach.
And the reason that I have anacting coach is because we do
get on stage as entrepreneurs.
And it's not that I'm actinglike I'm not acting with you and
be like, oh my God, you're sofunny, like that's not.
That's not the type of actingwe're talking about here.
Right, we're talking aboutacting when you're taking
(12:30):
selfies.
Right, if you're making asurprise face, like that's
acting and you're living.
What my coach says is you'reliving truthfully under
imaginary circumstances.
And so when does that apply?
Like, when I'm sharing my storyand I'm talking about how, you
know, I found out that I had theback of a disabled elderly
(12:52):
woman when I was 21,.
You know, I found out that Ihad the back of a disabled
elderly woman when I was 21.
Right, when I'm on stage andI'm developing that story, my
coaches taught me slow down, getinto the moment, feel that that
you felt when you were in thatdoctor's office, and then your
story is going to come across toyour audience.
(13:12):
You're going to be memorable.
You are going to stand out fromeverybody else who gets up and
they're like tip one is to dothis right.
Um, because now there's depth,now there's emotion, um, do you
agree with that?
Like, what do you think aboutum acting in and presenting?
Speaker 2 (13:33):
it's the same thing.
It's one like I said, it's allthe same thing, because it's
also what refers to an acting asthe illusion of the first time.
Because, yeah, you get it thesame way, because think about
broadway.
Broadway actors have performedthe same show eight times a week
and every time they do it foran audience that has to believe
this is the first time it's everhappened.
You have that same thingBecause if you have a
(13:55):
presentation, that's tellingyour story, how many times have
you told it?
But every time you have to havethe illusion of the first time.
That's for your audience, notfor you.
But again, it's knowing thesetools and techniques and how to
bring forth that.
That gives you more and that'swhat makes people want to come
back to see you.
That gives you more and that'swhat makes people want to come
back to see you.
And again, it's like the greatactors not only do they have the
(14:16):
illusion of the first time, butthey can perform the same role
in different ways by just littleshifts in there.
It's like when you take anangle, yeah, it's small here,
but when it gets out there it'shuge.
You can do the same thing inacting just a small emotional
shift by the time you get to theend of the show.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
It's a profound
difference yes, um, and I think
that's so important and you needto be able to do that as an
entrepreneur when you're doingpresentations with your
different audiences, because notall your audiences are going to
be receptive to the same.
Like, if you laugh at a joke,well, you might be with a really
(14:52):
serious crowd and they don'twant you to joke.
Well, you might be with areally serious crowd and they
don't want you to giggle right.
But you might be with a groupof people that have gone through
what you've gone through andthey're just cracking up Like
you share a trauma, and then youguys are laughing together.
So you're like oh yeah, thathappened to me too, and so it's
just really important to workwith someone where you can
practice those things, someonewho can say hey, now try this
(15:15):
line like Joey from Friends, nowtry this line, like if you were
Big Bird, now like Elmo.
And it feels kind of silly atfirst and you're like what?
But that is where you learn toplay and you learn how those
tiny little shifts that you'retalking about, because it's
going to be very different if Isit here and I talk to you like
(15:37):
this and the whole podcast.
I'm just talking to you likethis right, and so there's a
reason why I get closer to thecamera when things are getting
exciting, or you back up becauseyou're like right, and those
are the little things that makeyour presentations different.
They make them stand out, andthat's why you got to work with
someone like Jim right.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
But again, going back
to what you're saying in the
beginning, it's kind of likethat film, the Karate Kid, where
Daniel didn't understand why amI waxing the car?
Why am I painting a fence?
It seems stupid.
I'm here to learn one thingthat's how acting is.
We're teaching you the basics,teaching you the rules.
So once you get in there now,you can break the rules like an
artist, and it's like even theskills.
You're talking about two arenasalongside acting Comedy,
(16:20):
stand-up comedy and improv aregreat places to find tools,
because in comedy stand-upcomedy especially you learn how
to read a room, and that's whatyou need in a presentation,
because even though you're giventhe same information over and
over again, the room temperaturecan change.
So if you've learned thetechniques of how to read, now
(16:40):
you have, you can change in realtime instead of doing a show
that just falls apart.
You can redirect in that moment, recalibrate and now still give
a great performance for anaudience that wasn't as
receptive in the beginning.
But again, these are tools andtechniques that are out there.
It's just nobody's thinking tolook here for it.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
Yes, and let me tell
you, reading a room is a skill
in itself, because you get up onthat stage and everybody looks
like a statue and there's peoplein the audience who were like,
what are you talking about?
They were clapping, they werelaughing, they were nodding.
I was like I didn't see any ofthat.
They just look like this.
So, from you know, from up onthe stage, you you can't even
tell.
Like there's so many thingshappening that sometimes, unless
(17:18):
they're literally jumping upand down, it's really hard to
tell.
So even learning to read a roomin itself is is something that
is so powerful.
I love that.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
I love that, jim, so
um, oh, sorry, I was just gonna
say part of that is emotionalreading, because once you start
feeling because that's like Iwould say, it's like working out
at a gym working out yourmuscles you get in there and you
exercise your muscles withweights In emotion work, it's
feeling.
You have to feel these emotionstruly in imaginary
(17:49):
circumstances.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
You're feeling them
really and the more you feel
them, the more you feel them,the more they grow and the more
access you have to, and thenwhen you do, you can exchange
back and forth so you can feelthe emotional energy of that
like you're reading it in realtime without getting sucked into
that emotion, being able toaccess it, but also like there's
(18:11):
also like you got to heal allthat trauma and stuff so that
you can, you're not stuck inthere and you don't leave your
audience there, because the lastthing you want is to share
something super meaningful andthen go home and you can't leave
your room for three weeksbecause it brought up a bunch of
stuff.
And so that's where practicingbeing, you know, with a mentor,
like an acting coach, because itit takes a lot out of you, and
(18:34):
especially when you're sharingand you don't realize it until
you do, and then you talk forfive minutes and you're like I
need, I need a nap, like what,what, what just happened there?
And it's because it is, it'sexhausting, and so that is
fantastic.
I think it's awesome to to havean acting coach, to be like an
entrepreneur.
And if you want to be a speaker, if you want to be doing
(18:56):
presentations, if you want to bea better podcast host, a better
podcast guest, you want to geton TV, you need to work with
someone on your Dixon, you needto work with someone on your
presence, you need to work withsomeone on your background and
you know.
That is why acting coaches areso essential in entrepreneurship
.
And I know that sounds reallyreally weird and I never thought
(19:17):
I would say that when I startedin this journey.
But working with an actingcoach really, really, really,
has changed my life and made memore confident.
Because now I know okay, youdon't sound like a chipmunk,
because you know, we all thinkwhen we hear our own voices,
we're like, oh my god, I'm likeI sound like a chipmunk, because
(19:38):
you know, we all think when wehear our own voices, we're like,
oh my god, I'm like I soundlike a chipmunk.
Um, but when you have an actingcoach and they're like, no,
you're doing well, like yourpresence is good, and you're
like, okay, cool, I'm not justwinging it, I don't know what
the heck is going on.
I know that when I pull backhere and I have a, a three
second gap, right, that's onpurpose, because now we're
creating this tension.
And I have a three-second gap,right, that's on purpose,
because now we're creating thistension where I'm going to drop
something beautiful and then, ifI speed it up, I know that
(20:00):
something oh my God, exciting ishappening Right.
And so those little things,those tiny little things that
you learn with an acting coach,so absolutely fantastic.
Let me know.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
Jim, how can the
audience keep in touch with you?
Um, real quick, I just wantedto add one thing to what you're
saying about that.
Weird about it it's.
We feel like it's weird becauseit's new to us.
But think about it really.
Like presidents, senators, um,all important officials, all of
them, they don't have an actingcoach.
They have a team of peopledoing this, a team of people
giving them a script.
You know, make sure the lights,make sure the makeup, all of
(20:33):
that stuff.
It's common and routine.
It's just we don't see itbecause it's behind the curtains
.
You're just pulling back thecurtain, that's all that's
happening.
And you're realizing how weirdthat world is, but you're doing
the right thing.
I mean, there's more that canbe done.
It's just it is.
It's a weird world becausewe're creating an illusion to
(20:54):
get people to see what we'retrying to present, and it is.
We're on stage every day.
As to get in touch with me, Iwould say it's.
There's two ways.
Mainly, I'm reaching out,having people reach out.
One is through my website.
It's a wwwtbcentnerprisescomand that's Tango
(21:14):
Bravocentnerprisescom and that'stangobravucharlieenterprisescom
, and my other is if you couldcheck out my book, it's on
Amazon right now.
It's All your Best Sells, holdon.
I got a picture.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
That's what it looks
like.
Oh, I love it.
I got my author copy here too.
Check it out.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
We're twinsies with a
line oh yeah, I love it.
Yeah, that's right, fantastic.
Yeah, it's a, it's, it wassomething.
Uh, I'm not a writer, it's justI.
I just yeah, I just find myselfin these situations where I
just do things and I pushforward.
But yeah, it's out there.
If you get a chance, just uh,purchase a copy.
(21:57):
Please review it for me.
That'd mean a lot to me becauseI mean you know yourself to
review her as well.
There, it's important to getthose awesome.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
That is amazing, all
right, and so, before we sign
off, I want to know what aresome acting tips.
What is your main, biggest,juiciest acting tip for
entrepreneurs?
Speaker 2 (22:18):
Entrepreneurs.
Be an active listener, becurious.
Those are two of the mainthings.
Be curious about everythingthat's going on.
Why it's going on?
Because you don't realize it'seasy to paint a broad
brushstroke over things.
Oh, this is why this, no, lookdeeper, because if you do, you
save good employees and youcatch the bad ones sooner,
(22:40):
because that's a big issue.
Right there, when you're justtossing the baby out with the
bath water, you can lose a goodguy.
So, like I say, be present inthe moment always and be curious
.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
I love that.
That is fantastic.
This has been absolutelywonderful.
Jim, I appreciate you hangingout here with us today.
Make sure you go check out hisbook on Amazon and I will make
sure that the link is down below.
And are you on social media?
Speaker 2 (23:09):
Yeah, I just started
up less than a year ago.
It's Soy CandyS-O-I-c-a-n-d-i-e, but yes, I am
on social media now.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
I'm learning my role.
That is amazing.
All right, so make sure thatyou check out his book, go to
his website and, of course,follow him on social media.
And we will see you guys nexttime on the next episode of
overcome yourself, the podcast.
Thanks so much.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
Bye take care.