Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello everyone and
welcome back to the next episode
of Overcome Yourself, thepodcast.
As you know, my name is Nicoleand I'm so excited to be here
today with Jessica.
Now, jessica is someone who isin my coaching group and so
we've had other guests, so she'slike, I guess, a VIP guest,
because I do know her and we'vegotten to spend time together
(00:21):
inside our own coaches group andso I'm very excited to welcome
Jessica.
And so, jessica, pleaseintroduce yourself.
Let us know a little bit aboutwho you are and who you help.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Awesome.
Thank you so much, nicole.
Yeah, my name is Jessica.
I'm a mindset transformationcoach.
The purpose of what I do isreally to help people to rewire
their mind and their nervoussystem for truly sustainable
change.
So it's getting you know theminds, the body, the spirit all
(00:52):
of that working together so thatyou can actually create change
that is lasting and get out ofthat like yo-yo cycle, if that
makes sense.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
Yes, absolutely, and
tell us a little bit about you
and your story and how you'vegotten to what you do today.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Oh, that is a story.
It's like very much not linear,and that's one of the things
that I love to share, just toyou know, help people see that
that's not a problem Like that's.
You know that that can actuallybe a good thing.
But yeah, so my educationalbackground was actually in
psychology.
I'm very passionate aboutpsychology.
I love learning about myselfand learning about other people
(01:33):
and what makes people tick, andyou know all of that kind of
stuff, and so I've always beenvery passionate about, you know,
the concept of of psychology.
And then you know I I reallyzoned in on that throughout
university where I wanted to getinvolved in all of that stuff.
I was obsessed with criminalminds and lie to me, like those
shows that are about like reallyunderstanding people and
(01:53):
getting into the nitty-gritty oflike what makes them tick.
Um, so I was determined to godown that path.
And then, you know, I get intohealth and fitness and I
realized do I really want tospend my life working in spaces
where I'm going to be focused onlike the worst of the worst,
like criminal justice system,like all of that kind of stuff,
(02:15):
and it just didn't feel like itwas calling to me anymore.
I was really just loving theenergy of being in the health
and fitness space and that'swhen I started getting into like
just more positivity and all ofthat like almost to the point
of like toxic positivity.
In the early stages thatdefinitely was part of it, like
(02:36):
you know, the bypassing andstuff.
And so then I kind of trickledinto fitness coaching not
officially, like, not personaltraining, but I was with
Beachbody for a little stint andI was trying to into fitness
coaching Not officially, like,not personal training, but I was
with Beachbody for a littlestint and I was trying to do
fitness coaching.
I had a blog and I didchallenges every month and I was
doing that.
I had so much fun and it wasjust motivational and
inspirational and so you know,that was a big piece of my
(02:58):
journey.
And then I became verypassionate about makeup and I
started to incorporate thepassion of helping women to feel
, you know, just their mostauthentic, beautiful selves, you
know, from an externalperspective.
And then you know I've alwaysbeen very passionate about
learning.
That has always been somethingthat's really been interesting
(03:19):
for me.
So I spent about a decadeworking for a global e-learning
company.
That was my corporate gig.
So all these other things werekind of like little side hustles
.
I was, for the bulk of the timethat I was with this corporate
e-learning company.
I was basically like a coachfor learning and development
consultants or representativesor HR folks.
(03:40):
So I was involved in helpingthem to understand what their
goals and what their prioritieswere from a business standpoint,
so that I could help themnavigate how to make those goals
and those business outcomesinto reality through learning
solutions.
(04:01):
So it was kind of like adifferent angle, but I really,
you know, I really enjoyed thatand I found that during the
pandemic I started to come intothe space of trauma awareness.
I had my own experience withtherapy.
I had explored that before andI just didn't really find that
(04:25):
it worked for me.
But I wanted to try it again,so I did.
I got a lot of really reallygreat value from it and I
started doing some really deepinner work, you know, in 2020.
I think a lot of people canprobably relate to that.
2020 brought up a lot of stufffor a lot of people and that
just kind of sent me into, youknow, this new space.
(04:47):
I went into Tony Robbins Unleashthe Power Within and it just
kind of blew my mind a littlebit, because I started to see,
okay, he's using psychology,he's using positivity, he
incorporates fitness, like allof these different pieces,
things that I am passionateabout.
I'm like, wait a minute, like Idon't have to pick just one
(05:08):
thing.
All of these little pieces of myjourney kind of tie together in
a really cool way, and so thatjust showed me kind of like the
art of what is possible or whatcould be possible for me.
And that's when I started tothink about maybe I should
become a coach, like maybe Ishould do something with this,
because I've always been Ishouldn't say always, I had been
(05:30):
for over a decade I'd beencoaching and I'd been doing
these things and, you know,sharing content, all of the
things that paid coaches do, butI wasn't getting paid for it, I
was just doing it.
So I decided that I was goingto stand in that and I was going
to own it and I was just, youknow, going to give it a shot.
(05:50):
So I am really excited to beable to finally be in the space
of making this, what I do andwhat I share with the world,
because I feel like I've learnedso much and, yeah, I'm just
really excited to be here andhave a chat with you and to give
some value to all of yourlisteners.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
I love that.
And you said you're like, oh,I'm going to become a coach.
And I was like, but you werealready coaching.
So like you already are a coach, so it's just stepping into
that right.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Exactly, it was
getting into the mindset because
for so long and I think a lotof people are struggling with
that too right now there's somany people that are being
affected by layoffs, and thathappened to me last year.
I went through that myself andit was like you know it was.
It was harder than I thoughtbecause, for you know, for a
(06:43):
while now I had been saying, ifit happens, then I'm going to
take that as a sign that this iswhat I meant to do, full time,
like I'm going to believe inmyself, and so, in a way, I
didn't have that like I'm goingto burn the boat.
A lot of people say that I'mgoing to burn the boat.
I like stability and safety andstuff like that.
(07:05):
So for me, that wasn'tsomething that I wanted to do.
I wanted to, you know, have thatslow build initially, and so
when I had my layoff come in, itwas like jarring and completely
abrupt and it you know myidentity.
I'd been with that company foralmost 10 years, so my identity
was attached to that and it wasso tough for me to navigate that
(07:25):
initially.
And so to come out of that andcome into this space of like, no
, like this is what I meant todo.
This happened for me, not to me.
This was a good thing.
And so to finally be able tostand in that energy and to say
like no, like yes, it sucked andit does.
And it's totally fine to sit inyour emotions when stuff like
(07:48):
that comes up, because, yeah, ithurts and that you know you got
to work through those emotions,but like, just know that there
is going to be a day whereyou're going to look back on
that and you'll be like, okay,so this is why that had to
happen, because you're going tobe in a completely different
energy and it's going to be likea level up from where you used
(08:08):
to be.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
I love that.
One of the things that we weretalking about in relation to
this and I know that you alsogot hurt along this process and
so you were able to relate to mejust a little bit better and we
were talking last time.
We talked about the idea ofsomething that's in my book,
(08:32):
which you touched on.
Another topic in my book abouttying our identities to what we
do, because what happens whenthat thing's over, like if
you're tying your identity tobeing a mom, but what happens
when the kids grow up and theygo to college?
Or if you're, you know, tied inthis and you get fired, well
then, does everything you knowjust throw it away?
(08:54):
And no, and so can you talk tous about that?
And the other thing that we hadmentioned and because I think
they might be a little bitrelated is one of the chapters
in my book talks about howmotivation is a lie and it
doesn't just hit us out ofnowhere, right?
We were having a greatconversation about this, so can
(09:14):
you touch a little bit on bothof those things?
Speaker 2 (09:16):
for me, like you're
having your personality and who.
You are tied to a certain thing, yeah, it's gonna, it's gonna
hold you back, and you know.
I think that it's reallyimportant for us to get very
clear on what our identity is asa human being, in and of
(09:36):
ourselves.
So, regardless of anybody elseor anything else, you know that
includes your kids, thatincludes your spouse, if you're
married, or your partner or youknow anything, any job or even
religion.
I think you know personally,like yes, that that plays in a
role.
If you know, if you'rereligious and stuff like that,
that that's going to be animportant part of your identity.
(09:57):
But also just getting clear onyour values, and you know, like
people that aren't evenreligious, they have values,
they still have values, theyhave things that are important
to them, that they care about,like I think that that is really
important so that you cannavigate those waves as they
come, because life is going tohappen, you know, to you and for
(10:21):
you, but when it happens in themoment, you don't always see
why it's happening for you.
That comes later and it can bereally difficult sometimes to
like see that you know thatsilver lining in the moment
because we're just in it, but Ithink that that's really
important.
It's just getting really clearon your identity, and I mean
that's a lifelong processbecause we're always growing and
(10:42):
we're always evolving.
So just you know, who am Iright now?
And a lot of people arestruggling with that.
Like I see that all over socialmedia, where people are, like
you know, going on you knowhealing journeys or they're
starting like a self-lovejourney.
They're trying to learn to lovethemselves more.
They're trying to learn whothey are like, even just you
(11:03):
know that kind of thing.
And that's something that Ialso had to experience, because
so many of us have learned tobecome what other people need of
us, to receive love and toreceive attention.
And that's what we were, that'swhat we learned when we were
growing up is that we had to dothat.
We had to put on a mask andbecome what you know other
people.
So I used to say this that wehad to put on a mask and become
(11:24):
what you know other people.
So I used to say this like Iused to become like a chameleon,
like I would just pick updifferent pieces of what I
thought that they wanted to seeof me, and that wasn't me.
So it was like this process ofremoving layers and unlearning
things that weren't actually meand kind of getting to the true,
authentic version of who I am,like what I'm here to do and all
(11:45):
of that kind of stuff.
And when it comes to the backpiece, like I know you, you
mentioned the injury andhonestly, like the timing is so
suspicious of that.
It just cracks me up because ithappened right after my layoff
and you know I am a little bitwoo woo.
So for anybody that's not likeyou can just kind of close your
(12:06):
ears for a few seconds, but forme, like energetically, this was
like the embodiment of melosing my stability, my job, the
financial security, thepaychecks, you know all of that.
It happened where you know, andthe thing for me is like I I've
(12:28):
thrown my back out a few timesbefore.
You know I'm in my thirties.
That happens apparently.
So for me, like usually,there's like a moment in time
where it's like, oh, I didsomething, like I'll, I'll be
doing an exercise, and then Ifeel like a tinge in my back and
it's like, oh, I did something,like I'll, I'll be doing an
exercise, and then I feel like atinge in my back and I'm like,
oh, like, usually there'ssomething, but this time there
(12:51):
was nothing.
There was no moments where Ijust realized, oh, that wasn't
good, I'm probably going to behurting for a bit.
It just showed up out ofseemingly nowhere and so for me
it was really difficult to movethrough that.
And, yes, it did help me torelate to you.
It helped me relate to my mom,because my mom had a broken back
(13:11):
, she had a fractured spine andshe was struggling day to day
like with extreme pain and Ididn't understand that.
I thought she was, you know,being a little bit dramatic.
I was also a teenager in mydefense at the time.
But, yeah, it just helped me tounderstand that because I was
trying to figure out what's nextfor me.
(13:32):
I was, you know, redoing myresume, thinking about jobs,
thinking like should I do mybusiness?
Like all of these things weregoing through my mind all at
once and I was completelyoverwhelmed.
Plus, I was working through theemotions of losing not just the
job but also a lot of friends Ihad.
So, like there's a lot ofpeople locally to me.
(13:52):
I literally walk.
I have like three differentpeople who live within walking
distance of me that I used towork with.
So it's also that energy oflike losing friendships Cause
they're not in my, in my orbitanymore, they're not in my space
, like I don't really interactwith them the way that I used to
.
So it's just it was.
It was a loss bigger than justthe job itself.
It was the connections and therelationships and all of that
(14:14):
kind of stuff went with it too.
So for me it was all of thatkind of combined and it showed
up in my body physically.
So that's kind of like when Italk about embodiment, it's like
the body keeps the score.
It really does Like when you'redealing with difficult emotions
, and it's like overwhelming.
It shows up physically in thebody.
(14:36):
And for me it was in my root.
It was in like right at thebase of my spine and in my hips,
and it took me like four monthsto come out of that.
So I was working through all ofthis stuff.
While dealing with that, I hadto completely change the way
that I lived.
I had to buy a standing deskconverter, which I now love and
use all the time, because Iphysically couldn't sit and I
(14:58):
had to work.
I had to, you know.
So I just had to figure stuffout.
But, yeah, it was extremelychallenging and it does tie into
motivation, because it's funny,like I laughed and I actually
did find the old blog post,because I told you you said
motivation is a lie, and I hadan old blog post from probably
(15:19):
2018 or something and it wasmotivation is a myth.
So I've been saying the samething for a long time.
So you and I are definitely onthe same wavelength when it
comes to that, because we don'tjust have motivation, like it's
not motivation that drives us,it's the little actions that we
take.
It's, you know, and that's oneof the things I've found to be
(15:42):
extremely helpful is to makenote of things that I'm doing so
that I can honor thoseachievements.
And so one of the things that Idid when I was initially trying
to kind of get things togetherfor my business was I started
making note and keeping track ofall of the little steps that I
(16:03):
was doing each day, because alot of the time, what happens is
we get to the end of the weekand we're like gosh, I'm so like
, I'm so not motivated, I didn'tget anything done this week, I
was super lazy, and yada, yada,yada, and it's just like when
you look back, if you starttracking these things, if you
write down the little action,steps and the big actions, like
(16:26):
all of the things that you dothat are in with the intention
to move you forward toward agoal, whatever that goal may be,
it's going to give youmotivation.
So we don't naturally havemotivation, but like we build it
, we create it.
It's like a co-creation process.
So and for anyone that has ADHD,I struggle with that too I've
(16:50):
shared a tip that I find reallyhelpful for me.
If I need to clean the bathroomor if I need to clean the
kitchen, I don't say, okay,let's go clean the bathroom.
If I don't feel like I have theenergy or I feel like cleaning
the bathroom, then I say, okay,we're just going to clean the
sink.
But once you clean the sink,you get that dopamine hit and
(17:12):
you're like I feel good, I gotthis accomplished.
And you're like, well, I'malready here, I've got the
cleaning solution, I got thisstuff, I might as well do the
toilet too.
And then it's like, well, I'mhere, I might as well get you
know and you build on that andit just before you know it,
(17:33):
you've got a bunch of stuff doneand it feels really really good
.
So that is like one of thethings that I find really really
potent is like sometimes we setthe goal a little bit too big.
It's good to have big goals,but it's also important to break
them down into smaller goals sothat we're able to then see the
progress, because when we justhave a big goal, it feels like
I'm I'm trying I don't know whatthe word, I'm looking for it
(17:57):
feels big.
Yeah, it feels big, unreachablethat's the word I was searching
for it feels unreachable orunattainable because you just
you set the goal so high that,especially if you know it's
something that you maybe haven'tdone before, you're like I
don't know if I can actually dothis, but if you do little,
(18:17):
bite-sized pieces every time youdo one of those steps, you're
going to feel good.
It's going to release happychemicals in your brain, You're
going to get the dopamine hit.
You're going to you know it'sgoing to give you motivation so
that you're like okay, I'mmaking progress and it's okay to
rest.
A lot of us feel like we're notdoing enough.
The world is crazy.
(18:39):
Let's just be real.
Things are nuts right now allover the place, and so people
are struggling, and when we'restruggling, we can find
ourselves in this space andenergy of just surviving.
We're not thriving, we'resurviving.
We're just getting through theday barely a lot of the time for
a lot of people, and so you'reallowed to rest.
(19:05):
Rest is productivity, Like youneed to be able to rest in order
to be able to show up and dothe things that you want to do
and that you need to do to moveforward towards your goals.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
I love that and our
coach always says it rest is an
income producing activity.
You have to do it, yeah, right,and, and it's so true, you know
, like with motivation in mybook I talk about how it's
kinetic energy and all thatmeans is it's like in the
reserve tank, and the only waythat we can access that is
exactly what you said is bytaking a small action.
(19:37):
And then boom, exactly what yousaid.
The dopamine hits and you'relike oh, let me wash one cup.
Well, my hands are wet, I'vegot the sponge, I already use
the soap, I'm already here, letme just, let me just wash this
plate.
You know what?
Look, there's only three thingsleft.
Let me, oh, boom, all thedishes are done.
You know, or whatever it is.
Even with this podcast, like weare recording podcast, I don't
(19:58):
know, it's a hundred andsomething, and I haven't even
published.
I haven't even gotten to ahundred published.
So, behind the scenes with usguys, but when I was starting,
my goal was to get to a hundred,but I.
But when I was starting, mygoal was to get to 100.
But I couldn't sit down andrecord 100 episodes in a day.
I don't think there's enoughtime in the day for that.
Right.
I can't even upload that manyepisodes at once.
(20:20):
Right, you have a limit.
But one by one, I sat down andrecorded 30 minutes at a time.
I got to meet awesome peopleand we're over 100 now.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
And so in the
beginning it felt impossible,
right, Thank you.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
But now it's kind of
like oh so, yeah, we got 100.
Let's go for 1000.
And that feels really big, butyou know what?
One at a time.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
Exactly, and we make
the rules.
That's another thing.
It's like we make things somuch harder for ourselves
Sometimes.
It's like why we feel like,almost like you know, well, I
can't do this.
It's like, for example, I justsaw a post earlier and I can't
remember all of the details, butin a nutshell it was talking
about how people they just theyhave these rules.
(21:09):
It's like, well, you know, dothe things that you wanted to do
when you were a kid or that youcouldn't do when you're a kid.
There's no rule, like if you'rewalking, if you're with a group
and you're going by McDonald'sand it's like, oh, I'd really
like to have a McFlurry, pull in.
Like there's no parents thereto say that you can't you know
what I mean Like that was kindof the energy of the post.
(21:29):
Or if you're at like a museumand it's $3 to go see a
butterfly exhibit and you lovebutterflies, if you have the $3,
go see the exhibit it's likethere's these unseen rules that
our minds have that have beenconditioned into us.
Like, oh, we can't do that.
It's like why not?
Like, you get to create therules you get to.
(21:52):
You know, and the same is truewith, like household stuff.
If you don't have the energy todo the dishes, but you have a
dishwasher and it's like, well,I can't do, I can't put the
dishes in the dishwasher until,like, I scrub them because
otherwise they won't come outclean, run it twice because
otherwise they won't come outclean.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
Run it twice.
I read that I love it.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
Yeah, like I've seen
that post many times and I just
love it too.
I wish I knew who the originalauthor was, but that's like such
a big thing.
It's like who says you can'trun it twice.
You know what I mean.
Like we create these rules forourselves.
So when it comes to likemotivation and what we're
talking about, like theindividual bite-sized goals and
taking note of all of the steps,I will literally have already
(22:37):
done a thing and I will write itdown just so that I can check
it off Totally.
I totally do that because it'slike I get that little dopamine
hit and I want to know that I'vedone it.
And so, like I will actuallywrite stuff down that I've
already done and I will check itoff.
And I used to do that in asauna.
All the time when I was workingfor my former company, I used a
sauna and every so often whenyou mark a task complete, it
(23:01):
would send like a unicorn acrossthe screen or like like I just
loved it.
So, yeah, like we get to createthe rules and a lot of the time
our rules are make it reallyhard for us to be able to
maintain motivation.
So make it easy for yourself.
You know, if your goal is tolike yours your goal was a
(23:22):
hundred podcast episodes Well,make it to you know to just do
one podcast episode in one weekor something like that.
You know, make it have, haveyour longer goals but also have
your shorter goals so thatyou're able to be able to make
some progress, because progressis what creates that motivation
(23:42):
and that drive and it's what'sgoing to propel you forward, to
keep you committed.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
Yeah, and it's what I
can control, right, I can
control recording the nextepisode.
I I don't know what's gonnahappen with the other 97 that
I've got left, but I can do thisone right, and so I love that
so much.
And um, one of the scripts thatI and and just since we were
talking about this in my book,one of the scripts that I
discovered playing in my headright is like you're not getting
(24:11):
anything done.
And I realized that Idiscovered playing in my head
right is like you're not gettinganything done.
And I realized that I would besitting at my computer in my pjs
, for example, right, which issomething that I used to pray
for.
I used to be like man.
I wish I could just stay homeand be in my pjs and be working
and get paid, instead of havingto like dress up and come, do
all this.
But I'd be sitting there and Iwould be typing out on my
(24:32):
computer and I'd be writing forlike six hours to get this done,
and then I'd get up and be like, oh, my god, I didn't do
anything today.
What right?
And you have this little voicethat's like oh, you didn't do
anything today, like it doesn'tmatter that you wash the dishes,
that you swept the floor, thatyou packed lunches for the kids,
that you took them.
You know to all their practicesthat you swept the floor, that
you packed lunches for the kids,that you took them.
You know to all their practicesthat you made dinner and you
(24:53):
actually had it on the table byseven.
You know, or whatever.
You know what I mean, like allthose little things that you did
and you don't give yourselfcredit for them and you're like
I didn't do anything and so thatis such a big deal is to really
give yourself credit, like lookback and be like okay,
realistically, I didn't post onsocial media, I didn't post 10
(25:14):
times, but it's because I wasdoing 47 other things.
So, realistically, like Iliterally just didn't have time
to do this, right, and it justtakes us to be honest with
ourselves, right.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
Yeah, we overestimate
how much we can do in a very
short span of time.
So, to that point it's almost,like you know, when I was going
through kind of trying to figureall of this stuff out and I
started tracking my achievementsand all of the things that I
was doing, what I found reallyhelpful was to create like a
little bit of a checklist of,like, what is the most important
(25:46):
thing.
If I can only do like one tothree things, what is absolutely
like a non-negotiable needs tohappen today, and then I would
have the rest of my listunderneath and as long as I got
those first like that was a rulethat I created for myself as
long as I got thenon-negotiables done, if you
know, all of the other thingsgot pushed to tomorrow, that's
(26:08):
fine.
I was okay with that.
Yes, like, if I got more done,it would be great.
But like, let's be real, youknow, life happens, things
happen, and I think it's reallyimportant for us to be able to
take that step back and to youknow, to be able to prioritize,
to say, okay, these have to bedone today, and to note that,
because otherwise, if you've gotso much on your list and you're
(26:30):
not prioritizing them, then youit.
That's when things fall throughthe cracks that are actually
important to you and that's whenyou feel you're going to feel
worse if you miss those things.
So I think that that can be areally important distinction to
is just making sure that you'reprioritizing, you're getting
those, you know, those highticket things done first.
And also like to your pointwhen you were saying like I did
(26:53):
all of like six hours worth ofwork but then I felt like I got
nothing done.
I actually just started using atool called Clockify because I
wanted to be, I wanted to see.
Just I was feeling very similar, like I feel like I'm not doing
enough, but I've learned toquestion that when that stuff
comes up.
(27:14):
So for me I was like, okay,we're going to test this.
And so what I started doing iswhen I sit down to work, if I'm
working on web stuff, if I'mworking through my accelerator,
if I'm working through anything,anything that's related to my
business, then I track it inlittle project folders in
Clockify and I'm keeping a trackof the hours, the time spent in
(27:37):
different projects, and thathas been so helpful for me.
And I don't have a partnershipwith Clockify, it's free.
I've just been using it and Ijust started using it recently.
I've been finding that so, sohelpful because it's giving you
proof, it's giving you socialproof, and that's one of the
things that I love is just, alot of the time we have these
(27:58):
like negative mindsets aboutourselves and like I'm a
procrastinator, I, you know, I'm, I do this, or I I'm this, and
whatever we say after I ambecomes a belief.
But is it actually true?
And so that's one of the thingsthat I think is really
important is to challenge that.
(28:19):
How do you know it's true?
Think about that and then gointo is there any proof that
disputes that?
Because there's a lot of thetime we have these things that
we believe about ourselves, butif we look back in the past,
we've embodied the completeopposite of that energy in
different situations.
So it's just how do I invitemore of that part of myself
(28:42):
forward and how do I overcomethat part that is doing the
thing that I don't want to doand overcome that mindset that I
am a procrastinator, I am thisor you know whatever, whatever
that is for you.
So again, that ties back intoidentity.
What's important to you?
What are your values, who areyou really and you know any of
(29:02):
those negative things, any ofthose negative beliefs that you
have.
Question them.
Don't just take them as factslike question them and determine
is this actually true?
Because I bet you're going tofind proof somewhere in your
history that that's actually nottrue, that you've learned that
somewhere or that somebody toldyou that you were that thing and
(29:23):
you internalized it.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
And whatever you like
, tell your brain.
For lack of better words, yourbrain is going to find evidence
for.
So, if you say that thing, right.
That's one of the other thingsand I think it was Tony Robbins
that talked about the importanceof vocabulary and really
thinking about those words, likewhen those come up, exactly
(29:48):
what you said.
Where's the evidence?
Like let's think about theevidence and let's think of the
opposite evidence, and there'susually a lot more, but you just
haven't been looking at it.
And to tie it all back together, what it made me think of was
again the importance of rest, ofleaving open space in our
calendars.
We need that.
(30:09):
Tim Ferriss talks about one ofthe most important things that
he does right in finding.
We need that Tim Ferriss talksabout one of the most important
things that he does right infinding.
We have to find the big domino.
How do we get to the biggestdomino that's going to help us
knock everything else down?
And we're not going to find thebig domino doing a bunch of
stuff.
I'm just going to do somethingso I can feel busy.
No, you have to stop everything.
(30:30):
You have to give your mind themost powerful machine that you
have, space to process and tothink about these things and to
think through the scenarios.
Right, and the only way thathappens is through rest, and so
even when you take time toproductively rest and I mean
like like logging off, not beingon your cell phone, you know,
(30:51):
like being out in nature,grounding, like taking time with
your family, not thinking about, oh my God, when's the next
podcast coming out, or oh, Ihave a client.
No, no, no, none of that, right, just being off.
And like being human, likeactually being outside of the
matrix that is technology andinteracting with the trees, and
(31:13):
you know, doing all thatwonderful stuff.
Well, maybe not for you,because you said it was like
negative something right now,and so my heart goes out to you
because that's terrible.
Coming to you from Miami.
I'm thinking about going to thebeach, so I guess that's why I
keep saying going outside, butyou know, taking time off and
just giving our brain theopportunity to do those things.
So, as we wrap up, can you letus know how we can stay in touch
(31:37):
with you?
Speaker 2 (31:38):
Yeah, absolutely.
So.
You can find me on social media.
So, jessica JM coaching.
So I'm on Facebook, instagram,tiktok um, I'm going to be
interacting there a lot moreover the coming months and so
you can find me in any of thoseplaces and spaces.
(32:00):
Um, and, of course, you know,I'm going to be sending you some
links to some cool things thatpeople can, um, leverage.
Um, I've got a littleachievement tracker that I'm
excited to share with everybody.
We talked about that a littlebit.
You know, in terms of that,that activity that I was doing
and something else that tiesinto our conversation that I
(32:20):
might think about creating andthrowing in for them, I found a
lot of value doing just a habittracker.
It was very, very simple.
It was just a grid.
You put in you know the habitsthat you want to do and you
check them off.
And I would have like morningstuff and evening stuff so that
I would knock out, like checkmarks first thing in the morning
, that, just like you know myself-care stuff.
(32:42):
So what I was doing, if I, youknow, I start the day with a
meditation, you know, just a 10minute one, just to get me
grounded in my own space andenergy.
I do a workout, I get ready formy day, so that's like my me
time, like that's how I start myday and it just makes me feel
so much more energized to gointo the rest of my day.
That's me.
You need to find what works foryou, but I find having that
(33:04):
checklist just made it really,really helpful for me to
acknowledge what I'm doing, notjust toward my goal, but also
just for myself, because Ididn't track business stuff in
that tracker.
I tracked my own personalwell-being goals and the things
that I wanted to do for me toshow up fully in the energy I
wanted.
So that was like my health, thatwas my mindfulness, like all of
(33:26):
those kinds of habits, thingsthat I wanted to track.
So I might have to think aboutcreating something like that for
everybody too, because thatties into all of our stuff that
we were talking about today too.
And I'm creating a quiz rightnow.
I'm actively in the process ofcreating a quiz.
I'm in the early stages so I'mnot going to give out too many
details, but I will be sharing alink for that.
(33:46):
It'll be ready by the time thispodcast episode airs.
So yeah, so I'll be sharing allof that with you, so that you
can make this available for allof the listeners.
Speaker 1 (33:56):
That is amazing, and
everything that you mentioned,
like the stuff that youmentioned, that's what I
consider success habits right,because it doesn't matter what
you do you need to drink water,you need to move your body, you
need to have some kind ofspiritual practice where you're
meditating or you're breathing,you're grounding something
psychological.
I don't care what it is Right,but we all have these underlying
(34:20):
things that help us performbetter setting our values,
resting We've all got to do that.
It doesn't matter what your jobis.
You know, if you're a mom, ifyou're a child, I don't care.
These are all things we've allgot to do.
Right job is, you know, ifyou're a mom, if you're a child,
I don't care.
These are all things we've allgot to do, right, and so I think
that is just so important and Ilove that.
And final tip do you have anyfinal tips for the audience
before we sign off?
Speaker 2 (34:40):
Yeah, I would say
just understand that if you feel
like you're, you know, stuck inthis energy that you don't want
to be in.
What I found really helpful alot of people try to think like
you know.
They think what their goals areand stuff like that, and they
try to just people are.
Visualization is such apowerful thing.
(35:02):
Right now people are talkingabout a lot I'm I actually have
aphantasia, so for me I don'tactually get the visualizations.
Visualization meditations driveme crazy because I can't
actually visualize, I can't seepictures, I think in like
thoughts.
So I think, if you get intothat energy and that space of
like, you know, I don't reallyknow what I found really helpful
is to think about you have,like, if your goal is something
(35:27):
that may be a longer term thing,like in the next year or five
years or whatever, think aboutyou being in that space term
thing like in the next year orfive years or whatever.
Think about you being in thatspace like things.
It's already a year later, it'salready five years later,
whatever that may be for you,whatever makes sense for you,
and then think about what youwould feel like if you already
achieved that goal.
How would you feel, like inyour body, like, would you be
(35:51):
excited, would you be joyful?
You know, what would that lifelook like If you achieved that
goal?
What would be different?
Would you be in a differenthome?
Would you have different peoplein your life?
Would you look different?
What would that look like toyou?
And just get really really clearon that and if you can even do
it, like silently, like a lot ofpeople like to journal and
(36:14):
that's awesome, like if that's,if that's you, my, you know my
trainer.
He likes to say, as you write,you invite, and so when you're
writing and journaling, likethat can be a really, really
powerful tool.
You might remember things a lotmore and have it more ingrained
.
But at the same time, like, ifyou're not a journaling person,
then you can also just do itquietly, silently.
(36:36):
You can do both, like whatevermakes sense for you, throw on
some like meditation, music andthen just like, get quiet, get
grounded and just think about it.
Close your eyes and just allowyourself to just explore and
think and guide yourself throughthat process of thinking all of
those things and let yourselffeel into those emotions that
(36:58):
might come up of like, oh mygosh, like I did this.
I, you know this is great andwhatever comes up, you know.
Note that and allow yourself tofeel into it.
Because as you start to allowyourself to imagine what that
life, that version of you, andthat you know that goal
achievement actually looks andfeels like, you make it more
(37:22):
real to yourself.
So you make it possible for youto be able to believe that it
is possible, because otherwise,like, without that belief, we
tend to self-sabotage so muchmore.
But if you create that, youknow, that visualization or just
that, you know mental pictureof thoughts or whatever, you get
(37:42):
really crystal clear on whatthat actually looks like and
feels like, you're so much morelikely to achieve that goal
because you're going to believethat it's possible.
Your mind can't tell thedifference between what's real
and what's not.
So when you are, even just theaction of smiling makes you like
.
If you laugh and you start tolike.
(38:03):
When you watch TV and you laugh, sometimes that just makes you
feel happier.
If you're like completelydepressed and you start to laugh
, it just creates that chemicalin your brain that makes you
feel good.
So your mind can't tell thedifference between what's real
and what's not.
So when you do thatvisualization exercise and you
look like you're like at thatplace and you look backward.
(38:24):
It allows you to think, okay,well, what are the steps that
got me here?
And that way, from that space,you're able to start planning
and start taking those actionsjust makes it a little easier.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
Tiny, tiny actions,
but taking actions nonetheless.
But, yes, breaking it down intothe smallest block.
I love that.
Thank you so much, jessica.
This has been amazing and wewill see you guys next time on
the next episode of OvercomeYourself, the podcast.
Speaker 2 (38:55):
Thanks so much for
having me, thanks for being here
.