November 19, 2025 • 19 mins
A simple question lights the fuse: what are the “male mysteries,” and why do they feel both obvious and elusive? We dive into the lived side of masculinity—competition that bonds rather than breaks, quiet duty that protects without applause, and practical skills that pass values from hand to hand. Along the way, we wrestle with how media turned fathers into punchlines and how that drip of mockery nudges men into silence just when trust should deepen.
We talk about rivals who make us better, the joy of pickup games that used to fill parks, and the emptiness left when screens replace sweat. Instead of pining for the past, we map a path forward: set a time, bring a ball, start a game; host a poker night; run a skills swap. Hunting, fishing, gardening, fixing the sink—these are more than hobbies. They’re training grounds for patience, consequence, and respect for life. And yes, we go there on self-defense: why confidence and de-escalation together can shrink bullying and change a kid’s posture toward fear.
The heart of it is duty and discernment. Men often compartmentalize to carry hard loads, but strength also means opening the box later and doing the inner work and recognizing when to reach for help. If you’ve been missing brotherhood, if your park is empty and your toolbox dusty, this conversation is your nudge to rebuild the small, sturdy rituals that make men reliable to themselves and others.
If this resonates, share it with a friend, start a game, or plan a night around a new skill. Subscribe for more conversations like this, and leave a review to help others find the show.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_01 (00:15):
Welcome to Peggy Coffee Talk.
If you enjoy our content, pleaseconsider donating and following
our socials.
SPEAKER_03 (00:24):
So Mail Mysteries.
SPEAKER_01 (00:27):
Yes.
SPEAKER_03 (00:28):
Do they do they or do they not exist?
SPEAKER_01 (00:32):
Um I think they do, but I don't think it's what a
lot of people think they are.
I don't know if that's probablypretty vague.
SPEAKER_03 (00:45):
So are the male mysteries.
They're pretty vague too.
SPEAKER_01 (00:48):
Right?
SPEAKER_03 (00:51):
I think that's part of the point, you know, of the
male mysteries.
I think they're they'remysteries of actions of less of
a degree than they are of beingtold.
SPEAKER_01 (01:06):
Yes.
SPEAKER_03 (01:08):
Little boys figure out how to be men by being
little boys and doing little boythings.
You know, uh the fighting,climbing trees, stuff like that.
The climbing trees, thecompetition.
SPEAKER_01 (01:24):
Yes.
SPEAKER_03 (01:24):
Oh God, the competition.
The competition.
And more competition.
Even on even when you're on ateam, there's competition on the
team.
SPEAKER_01 (01:34):
Sure there is.
SPEAKER_03 (01:36):
There's a video I saw on YouTube, and it was the
funniest joke because the guy'slike, okay, so I was walking up
to the water fountain, and myhate bro starts to walk up.
I hate this guy.
He's my nemesis in the gym.
All right.
Every time I see him, it'smotivation for me to work harder
(01:57):
to get bigger muscles than him.
SPEAKER_02 (02:00):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (02:01):
And he's talking about because the guy walks up
to him and says, Well, you know,hey, it's been nice hating you
and all this other stuff, butI'm leaving.
I'm out of town.
So again, it goes into thiswhole broke thing, you know,
this whole breakup, but youknow, but it's over hating each
other for enough to be forcompetition in the gym.
SPEAKER_02 (02:24):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (02:25):
This is a male mystery.
All right.
The fact is, is do they actuallyhate each other?
No, it's more of a competitionjealous thing.
I I don't know how to explain itwithout actually being jealous.
SPEAKER_01 (02:39):
Right.
It's um it's a motivationalthing.
But you know, to some extent,it's all right, I can't, you
know, I can't let this guy getbigger than me.
SPEAKER_03 (02:52):
Right.
It is sort of like you've said,like, you know, um, a couple of
the more uh favorite uh animesout there, Black Clover and My
Hero Academy.
Again, it's that same theme.
All the boys and everybody areare competing against each other
to be the best.
SPEAKER_02 (03:12):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (03:12):
And it's a healthy competition.
We need to get back to this asmen.
Are you with me?
SPEAKER_01 (03:20):
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_03 (03:21):
Because I because I see it where a lot of these male
mysteries have sort of been madefun of over the years on TV and
stuff like that, uh, and sort oftold.
Like the the biggest one is isthat, you know, why the biggest
Butch's masculine man out theredoes have a soft side, but he
(03:46):
reserves it for to be only shownto his woman, he who he loves,
and it's not supposed to beshared outside of that.
SPEAKER_02 (03:54):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (03:56):
But yet on PV and we find out later and stuff like
that, especially with theinternet.
Women are talking about this totheir girlfriends and stuff like
that.
And does that not make us guyssort of go, okay, I don't this
is not what I was expecting, oryeah, I mean it it kind of makes
sense.
How dare you use that?
SPEAKER_01 (04:16):
Yeah, it kind of makes I I have a feeling that it
kind of makes you want to justgo back inside yourself, you
know?
Right.
You you don't want to share thatpart anymore because now it's no
longer reserved.
SPEAKER_03 (04:32):
Right.
It's it's now become a joke orsomething.
SPEAKER_01 (04:35):
It's become a joke or it's become a topic of
conversation that you didn't youdidn't believe it should have
been.
SPEAKER_03 (04:45):
Right.
So again, is this what we'rehaving a problem with?
I mean, that's kind of like youknow, it's kind of like, you
know, the TV shows over theyears.
I remember we grew up and we hadwhat, Leave It the Beaver.
Then suddenly we went from LeaveIt the Beaver to like Malcolm in
the Middle, where the dads arealways seem like buffoons.
And right, you know, guys liketo solve problems.
SPEAKER_01 (05:09):
Yeah, problem solvers and um creating things,
destroying things.
SPEAKER_03 (05:15):
So it's kind of what we do.
Well, I mean, as a guy, when Ican't fix something, it's
frustrating on multiple levels.
Why in the world I can't fix itto begin with?
I I see this as a failure on mypart.
Again, we like fixing things, welike solving problems.
SPEAKER_02 (05:33):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (05:34):
I mean, I I have to admit, yes, we're we're pretty
good at it, but we can be alittle, don't get me wrong, we
can be a little bitnarrow-minded to where we'll
only see the problem and notnecessarily anything else too.
So Oh, absolutely.
SPEAKER_01 (05:47):
Absolutely.
I mean, you you kind of getfocused on it, and sometimes
it's a little too much focus.
SPEAKER_03 (05:54):
Or, you know, we get a little bit too competitive,
but is it we're losing thatcompetitive?
We have nowhere else to explorethat anymore?
SPEAKER_01 (06:04):
I think so.
SPEAKER_03 (06:05):
Um I mean, I know I was just gonna say, because I've
gotten to the point where I hateany types of sports events
because they just it's peoplegetting paid to do something I
think should be do done more ona local level.
SPEAKER_01 (06:20):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (06:20):
Instead of everybody rushing into, you know, why
aren't we out there playing whyaren't men out there playing
football?
Why aren't they out thereplaying the baseball games every
weekend?
SPEAKER_01 (06:31):
Right.
I mean, what happened, you know,what happened to playing
baseball in the street, youknow, or football or hockey or
whatever.
I mean, I remember playing thosethings in the streets.
SPEAKER_03 (06:46):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (06:47):
You know, growing up.
It's it's what we did, orsomebody had, you know, somebody
had a large backyard and we wereable to play stuff in the
backyard.
SPEAKER_03 (06:56):
So again, I I don't see us doing that anymore.
I mean, is there just not enoughof us anymore, or is it just
that everybody's staying insideplaying video games?
SPEAKER_01 (07:07):
Well, you know, it it's the digital, the onslaught
of the digital age, if you will.
Um, I mean, even as we getolder, you know, we we spend a
lot of time on on our computers,in front of our TVs, on our
phones, instead of outdoingthings.
And I'm just as guilty asanybody else.
SPEAKER_03 (07:29):
So or is it is it the fact is is that all the
younger generations after oursis a whole lot smaller than our
generation is.
Is it just there's not enough ofthem anymore?
SPEAKER_01 (07:46):
Well, I mean, I think there's enough enough of
them to do some stuff, sure.
SPEAKER_03 (07:52):
You know, I mean, I because on occasion, you know, I
as I'm driving around here, youknow, there's a couple of uh
places where churches havebasketball, and I see guys out
there playing basketball everyso often, but yet I go to the
park on the weekends, I don'tever see anybody just out there
playing baseball.
SPEAKER_01 (08:10):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (08:10):
Playing baseball or just you know, throwing a
football or just you know, Iagain that ad hoc games like we
used to do.
You just random people shoot.
If you showed up with yourbaseball equipment at the park,
you more than likely would finda game somewhere.
SPEAKER_01 (08:26):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (08:28):
But you don't see that anymore.
SPEAKER_01 (08:30):
No, you don't.
SPEAKER_03 (08:31):
And I because I again I don't really know why,
but I don't either, but I Ithink as a male mishib, we need
to bring back.
It's something we should bedoing anyway.
You know, for our health,anything, you know.
SPEAKER_01 (08:44):
Well, I think nowadays if you're gonna if
you're gonna do something likethat, it's um you're gonna have
to do some advertising,unfortunately.
If you're at that age and youknow, you want to go to the park
and play a game, throw it outthere on your social media.
Hey, I'm gonna be here and dahdah dah, I'm bringing my
(09:05):
baseball gear.
SPEAKER_03 (09:06):
You know, come show up and figure out something when
you get here.
SPEAKER_01 (09:09):
Yeah.
Come show up, let's play.
SPEAKER_03 (09:14):
Well, I was gonna say, so what should we do to
encourage more interplay forguys to start being guys again,
to explore to start exploringsome of the male mysteries again
in their more natural habitat.
What it's like to go, what it'slike to go hunting.
Cause I mean, a lot of people, alot of people I know don't go
(09:35):
hunting anymore.
They don't know what it's liketo catch your own fish and
actually cook it.
SPEAKER_01 (09:41):
Right.
Well, I I think as far as thataspect goes, I think we need
some more we need more um adultsto be more active.
You know, we need more fathersto be more active in their in
their sons' lives.
Um I think fathers tend it seemslike anyway, that fathers are
(10:05):
not they're not encouraging thatkind of activity because they
don't do it.
Does that make sense?
So I think in order in order forus to encourage that type of
activity, we need to step up, weneed to take our you know, our
nephews, our sons, we need totake them fishing.
(10:28):
We need to teach them thosethings.
Um teach them how to playbaseball, teach them how to
hunt.
You know, I know your dad usedto take you hunting with him,
and he did the same thing withyour nephews.
SPEAKER_03 (10:42):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (10:43):
I I think that's that's great.
And unfortunately, we just don'thave enough of that nowadays.
SPEAKER_03 (10:50):
No, you know, I I again it's it's one thing.
Yes, it's a whole lot differentwhen you're out there deer
hunting and you get a deer andyou're having to feel dress it
and all that, and it gives you awhole lot different appreciation
for what in the world all thisis about.
I don't want to say it'scoldless or callous to you know
(11:14):
kill something just to kill it,but I I I like the whole idea of
eating what you kill.
SPEAKER_02 (11:20):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (11:21):
So again, sports hunting, I'm not too happy
about.
So but there is something aboutthat, about eating your own
kill, about something you evensomething you grew in the in
your own garden.
There's something a little bitdifferent about it.
SPEAKER_01 (11:36):
Oh yeah, absolutely.
I mean, you know, I had For meit was fishing.
You know, Daddy wasn't a bigbeliever in guns, so we we went
fishing.
You know, daddy taught me, hetaught me how to, you know,
string the line and put yourhook on and put your bait on.
(11:57):
All that stuff.
Taught me how to skin a fish.
SPEAKER_03 (12:00):
All that's I mean, I mean that's just like I think
everybody should be trained inguns.
I mean, I also think everybodyshould be some form of
hand-to-hand combat traininggrowing up, but I think it's a
little bit more important forguys, you know, for confidence
and at least being able tohandle bullies and people that
(12:21):
might want to beat you up.
How how in the world to makesure that you get less hurt?
SPEAKER_01 (12:25):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (12:26):
And what to do in those situations.
SPEAKER_01 (12:28):
Yeah, and that is definitely another aspect of
that.
I mean, that goes back tofighting as kids.
SPEAKER_03 (12:35):
Yeah.
You know, um well, I mean,there's one thing about fighting
as kids, and one thing anotherthing about fighting as an
adult.
I mean, there is some trainingthat's probably best done and
should be done.
SPEAKER_01 (12:48):
So well, there is, but my point there is that it's
it's kind of it's pretty muchinnate, especially more so in
guys, I think.
SPEAKER_03 (12:59):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (13:00):
To fight.
SPEAKER_03 (13:02):
Right.
Well that well again, you youhave that whole thing of the
little boys, they'll they'llbest friends suddenly get mad at
each other, go outside in thebackyard, duke it out, come back
in, and they're like the bestfriends again.
SPEAKER_01 (13:15):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (13:15):
You know, this argument settled.
SPEAKER_01 (13:18):
Right.
And I think I I think if we ifwe do teach teach our sons and
nephews self-defense and thingslike that, I think that helps
boost confidence, and I thinkthat's more of what we need is
more, you know, confident men.
SPEAKER_03 (13:36):
I I'm not gonna say it makes you not afraid, but it
makes you a little bit lessafraid.
SPEAKER_02 (13:41):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (13:42):
Because you sort of know what's going on and what to
do in case, you know, becausethere there's a lot of things
you can do to avoid fightsversus right.
SPEAKER_01 (13:52):
And it's well, it's enough, it's enough for you to
know the situation and know thatyeah, I'm probably gonna get
hurt.
SPEAKER_03 (14:03):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (14:04):
But I'll still be alive.
SPEAKER_03 (14:05):
Yeah.
Well again, I mean again, Istill think I still think this
ends bullying too.
So I mean, if you if kids knowhow to fight, I think it
automatically ends bullyingbecause again, that normally
starts at a very young age, likefirst grade, second grade.
Where in the world they don'tknow, and if they did, that's
(14:26):
one they use that intimidationthat I'm gonna beat you up
because you got that one kidthat's you know held back a
year.
Okay.
And he he gets to bullyeverybody else because it's just
slightly bigger.
He doesn't know how to actuallyfight.
SPEAKER_02 (14:39):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (14:39):
But if he did, and some of the other kids, the
whole situation's gonna changebecause again, the kid's not as
scary now because I know how toblock your moves, I know how to
do this stuff.
SPEAKER_01 (14:51):
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_03 (14:52):
So again, with that gone, what thread is the kid,
you know, besides just pickingon you and really do words
really hurt?
SPEAKER_01 (15:01):
Right.
You know, is it sticks andstones?
SPEAKER_03 (15:04):
Right, sticks and stones can break my bones.
But whips and chains exciting.
SPEAKER_01 (15:10):
That's not the saying.
Well, it's one of them.
But I think it goes beyond theyou know, the male mysteries
goes beyond fighting, it goesbeyond um hunting, you know,
learning to shoot, learning tofish, and all that other stuff.
(15:30):
It's also about how to take careof your family.
How you know how to be a man.
SPEAKER_03 (15:38):
Right.
And how to deal with that driveto want to take care of your
family, to provide for yourfamily.
SPEAKER_01 (15:45):
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_03 (15:47):
You know, and I I think it also teaches us that
wonderful thing to where we cando that whole women and children
first.
Knowing that that means we mightbe giving up our lives to
protect them and the nextgeneration.
Right.
Uh to be able to compartment parhelp me out here.
SPEAKER_01 (16:09):
Compartmentalize.
SPEAKER_03 (16:10):
Compartmentalize that is a good thing sometimes.
SPEAKER_01 (16:14):
Uh right.
Well, and you know, as guys, wetend to do that anyway.
That lovely wordcompartmentalize.
We tend to do that.
Yes.
But I think if we have if wehave some instruction, and I
don't know if I don't know ifyou can really teach what that
(16:35):
means or how to how to managethose compartments.
SPEAKER_03 (16:40):
Just because you separated away from you while
you're doing the task does notmean at some point you don't
have to revisit this andactually deal with those
emotions and those thoughts.
SPEAKER_02 (16:51):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (16:52):
I I'm sure every soldier out there could tell you
the same thing, and that's why alot of them have the issues that
they have.
SPEAKER_01 (16:59):
Oh, sure, yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (17:00):
You know, I mean they've been stressed beyond
their normal means, and it'sit's something hard to deal
with.
SPEAKER_01 (17:08):
Right.
It takes a toll on the body andthe mind, you know.
SPEAKER_03 (17:12):
It really does.
And unfortunately for some ofthese people, it no, they don't
know when it what's gonna setthem off or what's not.
But part of that mystery issitting there learning how to
deal with it, to at least learnhow to try to start working
through it.
SPEAKER_02 (17:28):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (17:29):
I'm not gonna sit there and say fix it, but at
least the strength to okay, Igotta do something about this, I
gotta make a change.
SPEAKER_01 (17:36):
Well, and the and that's another mystery for men
is knowing when to reach out forhelp.
SPEAKER_03 (17:44):
Because there's a lot of times because these
mysteries and stuff are sovague, it it's hard to tell
people when to do that, when notto.
SPEAKER_01 (17:52):
Absolutely.
Yeah, I mean, sometimes thoseare just lessons learned.
SPEAKER_03 (17:58):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (17:58):
You know, where it's something you had to you gotta
do it on your own sometimes.
SPEAKER_03 (18:03):
I'd I I would sit there and suggest, hey guys, get
together, talk about thesethings, experience them.
SPEAKER_01 (18:09):
Mm-hmm.
Go back to poker nights.
Go back to poker nights and sitaround and have these
conversations.
You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_03 (18:19):
Have them nights where you go out fishing and
bring back a mess of fish fordinner.
Yeah, you might be cleaning fishfor the next two days, but hey.
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (18:28):
And if you don't, you know, if you don't bring
back any fish, that's fine.
Just, you know, go and have yourbeers and have those
conversations.
See what happens.
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (18:39):
Speaking of beer, you want some coffee?
SPEAKER_01 (18:44):
Thanks for listening.
Join us next week for anotherepisode.
Pegan Coffee Talk is brought toyou by Life Temple and Seminary.
Please visit us at lifetempleseminary.org for more
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SPEAKER_00 (19:02):
We travel down this trodden path, the maze of stone
and mire.
Just hold my hand as we pass bya steel blazing fires.
And so it is the end of ourdays, to walk with me till
morning breaks.
(19:23):
And so it is the end of our daysto walk with me till morning
breaks,
Welcome to Peggy Coffee Talk.
If you enjoy our content, pleaseconsider donating and following
our socials.
SPEAKER_03 (00:24):
So Mail Mysteries.
SPEAKER_01 (00:27):
Yes.
SPEAKER_03 (00:28):
Do they do they or do they not exist?
SPEAKER_01 (00:32):
Um I think they do, but I don't think it's what a
lot of people think they are.
I don't know if that's probablypretty vague.
SPEAKER_03 (00:45):
So are the male mysteries.
They're pretty vague too.
SPEAKER_01 (00:48):
Right?
SPEAKER_03 (00:51):
I think that's part of the point, you know, of the
male mysteries.
I think they're they'remysteries of actions of less of
a degree than they are of beingtold.
SPEAKER_01 (01:06):
Yes.
SPEAKER_03 (01:08):
Little boys figure out how to be men by being
little boys and doing little boythings.
You know, uh the fighting,climbing trees, stuff like that.
The climbing trees, thecompetition.
SPEAKER_01 (01:24):
Yes.
SPEAKER_03 (01:24):
Oh God, the competition.
The competition.
And more competition.
Even on even when you're on ateam, there's competition on the
team.
SPEAKER_01 (01:34):
Sure there is.
SPEAKER_03 (01:36):
There's a video I saw on YouTube, and it was the
funniest joke because the guy'slike, okay, so I was walking up
to the water fountain, and myhate bro starts to walk up.
I hate this guy.
He's my nemesis in the gym.
All right.
Every time I see him, it'smotivation for me to work harder
(01:57):
to get bigger muscles than him.
SPEAKER_02 (02:00):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (02:01):
And he's talking about because the guy walks up
to him and says, Well, you know,hey, it's been nice hating you
and all this other stuff, butI'm leaving.
I'm out of town.
So again, it goes into thiswhole broke thing, you know,
this whole breakup, but youknow, but it's over hating each
other for enough to be forcompetition in the gym.
SPEAKER_02 (02:24):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (02:25):
This is a male mystery.
All right.
The fact is, is do they actuallyhate each other?
No, it's more of a competitionjealous thing.
I I don't know how to explain itwithout actually being jealous.
SPEAKER_01 (02:39):
Right.
It's um it's a motivationalthing.
But you know, to some extent,it's all right, I can't, you
know, I can't let this guy getbigger than me.
SPEAKER_03 (02:52):
Right.
It is sort of like you've said,like, you know, um, a couple of
the more uh favorite uh animesout there, Black Clover and My
Hero Academy.
Again, it's that same theme.
All the boys and everybody areare competing against each other
to be the best.
SPEAKER_02 (03:12):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (03:12):
And it's a healthy competition.
We need to get back to this asmen.
Are you with me?
SPEAKER_01 (03:20):
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_03 (03:21):
Because I because I see it where a lot of these male
mysteries have sort of been madefun of over the years on TV and
stuff like that, uh, and sort oftold.
Like the the biggest one is isthat, you know, why the biggest
Butch's masculine man out theredoes have a soft side, but he
(03:46):
reserves it for to be only shownto his woman, he who he loves,
and it's not supposed to beshared outside of that.
SPEAKER_02 (03:54):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (03:56):
But yet on PV and we find out later and stuff like
that, especially with theinternet.
Women are talking about this totheir girlfriends and stuff like
that.
And does that not make us guyssort of go, okay, I don't this
is not what I was expecting, oryeah, I mean it it kind of makes
sense.
How dare you use that?
SPEAKER_01 (04:16):
Yeah, it kind of makes I I have a feeling that it
kind of makes you want to justgo back inside yourself, you
know?
Right.
You you don't want to share thatpart anymore because now it's no
longer reserved.
SPEAKER_03 (04:32):
Right.
It's it's now become a joke orsomething.
SPEAKER_01 (04:35):
It's become a joke or it's become a topic of
conversation that you didn't youdidn't believe it should have
been.
SPEAKER_03 (04:45):
Right.
So again, is this what we'rehaving a problem with?
I mean, that's kind of like youknow, it's kind of like, you
know, the TV shows over theyears.
I remember we grew up and we hadwhat, Leave It the Beaver.
Then suddenly we went from LeaveIt the Beaver to like Malcolm in
the Middle, where the dads arealways seem like buffoons.
And right, you know, guys liketo solve problems.
SPEAKER_01 (05:09):
Yeah, problem solvers and um creating things,
destroying things.
SPEAKER_03 (05:15):
So it's kind of what we do.
Well, I mean, as a guy, when Ican't fix something, it's
frustrating on multiple levels.
Why in the world I can't fix itto begin with?
I I see this as a failure on mypart.
Again, we like fixing things, welike solving problems.
SPEAKER_02 (05:33):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (05:34):
I mean, I I have to admit, yes, we're we're pretty
good at it, but we can be alittle, don't get me wrong, we
can be a little bitnarrow-minded to where we'll
only see the problem and notnecessarily anything else too.
So Oh, absolutely.
SPEAKER_01 (05:47):
Absolutely.
I mean, you you kind of getfocused on it, and sometimes
it's a little too much focus.
SPEAKER_03 (05:54):
Or, you know, we get a little bit too competitive,
but is it we're losing thatcompetitive?
We have nowhere else to explorethat anymore?
SPEAKER_01 (06:04):
I think so.
SPEAKER_03 (06:05):
Um I mean, I know I was just gonna say, because I've
gotten to the point where I hateany types of sports events
because they just it's peoplegetting paid to do something I
think should be do done more ona local level.
SPEAKER_01 (06:20):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (06:20):
Instead of everybody rushing into, you know, why
aren't we out there playing whyaren't men out there playing
football?
Why aren't they out thereplaying the baseball games every
weekend?
SPEAKER_01 (06:31):
Right.
I mean, what happened, you know,what happened to playing
baseball in the street, youknow, or football or hockey or
whatever.
I mean, I remember playing thosethings in the streets.
SPEAKER_03 (06:46):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (06:47):
You know, growing up.
It's it's what we did, orsomebody had, you know, somebody
had a large backyard and we wereable to play stuff in the
backyard.
SPEAKER_03 (06:56):
So again, I I don't see us doing that anymore.
I mean, is there just not enoughof us anymore, or is it just
that everybody's staying insideplaying video games?
SPEAKER_01 (07:07):
Well, you know, it it's the digital, the onslaught
of the digital age, if you will.
Um, I mean, even as we getolder, you know, we we spend a
lot of time on on our computers,in front of our TVs, on our
phones, instead of outdoingthings.
And I'm just as guilty asanybody else.
SPEAKER_03 (07:29):
So or is it is it the fact is is that all the
younger generations after oursis a whole lot smaller than our
generation is.
Is it just there's not enough ofthem anymore?
SPEAKER_01 (07:46):
Well, I mean, I think there's enough enough of
them to do some stuff, sure.
SPEAKER_03 (07:52):
You know, I mean, I because on occasion, you know, I
as I'm driving around here, youknow, there's a couple of uh
places where churches havebasketball, and I see guys out
there playing basketball everyso often, but yet I go to the
park on the weekends, I don'tever see anybody just out there
playing baseball.
SPEAKER_01 (08:10):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (08:10):
Playing baseball or just you know, throwing a
football or just you know, Iagain that ad hoc games like we
used to do.
You just random people shoot.
If you showed up with yourbaseball equipment at the park,
you more than likely would finda game somewhere.
SPEAKER_01 (08:26):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (08:28):
But you don't see that anymore.
SPEAKER_01 (08:30):
No, you don't.
SPEAKER_03 (08:31):
And I because I again I don't really know why,
but I don't either, but I Ithink as a male mishib, we need
to bring back.
It's something we should bedoing anyway.
You know, for our health,anything, you know.
SPEAKER_01 (08:44):
Well, I think nowadays if you're gonna if
you're gonna do something likethat, it's um you're gonna have
to do some advertising,unfortunately.
If you're at that age and youknow, you want to go to the park
and play a game, throw it outthere on your social media.
Hey, I'm gonna be here and dahdah dah, I'm bringing my
(09:05):
baseball gear.
SPEAKER_03 (09:06):
You know, come show up and figure out something when
you get here.
SPEAKER_01 (09:09):
Yeah.
Come show up, let's play.
SPEAKER_03 (09:14):
Well, I was gonna say, so what should we do to
encourage more interplay forguys to start being guys again,
to explore to start exploringsome of the male mysteries again
in their more natural habitat.
What it's like to go, what it'slike to go hunting.
Cause I mean, a lot of people, alot of people I know don't go
(09:35):
hunting anymore.
They don't know what it's liketo catch your own fish and
actually cook it.
SPEAKER_01 (09:41):
Right.
Well, I I think as far as thataspect goes, I think we need
some more we need more um adultsto be more active.
You know, we need more fathersto be more active in their in
their sons' lives.
Um I think fathers tend it seemslike anyway, that fathers are
(10:05):
not they're not encouraging thatkind of activity because they
don't do it.
Does that make sense?
So I think in order in order forus to encourage that type of
activity, we need to step up, weneed to take our you know, our
nephews, our sons, we need totake them fishing.
(10:28):
We need to teach them thosethings.
Um teach them how to playbaseball, teach them how to
hunt.
You know, I know your dad usedto take you hunting with him,
and he did the same thing withyour nephews.
SPEAKER_03 (10:42):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (10:43):
I I think that's that's great.
And unfortunately, we just don'thave enough of that nowadays.
SPEAKER_03 (10:50):
No, you know, I I again it's it's one thing.
Yes, it's a whole lot differentwhen you're out there deer
hunting and you get a deer andyou're having to feel dress it
and all that, and it gives you awhole lot different appreciation
for what in the world all thisis about.
I don't want to say it'scoldless or callous to you know
(11:14):
kill something just to kill it,but I I I like the whole idea of
eating what you kill.
SPEAKER_02 (11:20):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (11:21):
So again, sports hunting, I'm not too happy
about.
So but there is something aboutthat, about eating your own
kill, about something you evensomething you grew in the in
your own garden.
There's something a little bitdifferent about it.
SPEAKER_01 (11:36):
Oh yeah, absolutely.
I mean, you know, I had For meit was fishing.
You know, Daddy wasn't a bigbeliever in guns, so we we went
fishing.
You know, daddy taught me, hetaught me how to, you know,
string the line and put yourhook on and put your bait on.
(11:57):
All that stuff.
Taught me how to skin a fish.
SPEAKER_03 (12:00):
All that's I mean, I mean that's just like I think
everybody should be trained inguns.
I mean, I also think everybodyshould be some form of
hand-to-hand combat traininggrowing up, but I think it's a
little bit more important forguys, you know, for confidence
and at least being able tohandle bullies and people that
(12:21):
might want to beat you up.
How how in the world to makesure that you get less hurt?
SPEAKER_01 (12:25):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (12:26):
And what to do in those situations.
SPEAKER_01 (12:28):
Yeah, and that is definitely another aspect of
that.
I mean, that goes back tofighting as kids.
SPEAKER_03 (12:35):
Yeah.
You know, um well, I mean,there's one thing about fighting
as kids, and one thing anotherthing about fighting as an
adult.
I mean, there is some trainingthat's probably best done and
should be done.
SPEAKER_01 (12:48):
So well, there is, but my point there is that it's
it's kind of it's pretty muchinnate, especially more so in
guys, I think.
SPEAKER_03 (12:59):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (13:00):
To fight.
SPEAKER_03 (13:02):
Right.
Well that well again, you youhave that whole thing of the
little boys, they'll they'llbest friends suddenly get mad at
each other, go outside in thebackyard, duke it out, come back
in, and they're like the bestfriends again.
SPEAKER_01 (13:15):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (13:15):
You know, this argument settled.
SPEAKER_01 (13:18):
Right.
And I think I I think if we ifwe do teach teach our sons and
nephews self-defense and thingslike that, I think that helps
boost confidence, and I thinkthat's more of what we need is
more, you know, confident men.
SPEAKER_03 (13:36):
I I'm not gonna say it makes you not afraid, but it
makes you a little bit lessafraid.
SPEAKER_02 (13:41):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (13:42):
Because you sort of know what's going on and what to
do in case, you know, becausethere there's a lot of things
you can do to avoid fightsversus right.
SPEAKER_01 (13:52):
And it's well, it's enough, it's enough for you to
know the situation and know thatyeah, I'm probably gonna get
hurt.
SPEAKER_03 (14:03):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (14:04):
But I'll still be alive.
SPEAKER_03 (14:05):
Yeah.
Well again, I mean again, Istill think I still think this
ends bullying too.
So I mean, if you if kids knowhow to fight, I think it
automatically ends bullyingbecause again, that normally
starts at a very young age, likefirst grade, second grade.
Where in the world they don'tknow, and if they did, that's
(14:26):
one they use that intimidationthat I'm gonna beat you up
because you got that one kidthat's you know held back a
year.
Okay.
And he he gets to bullyeverybody else because it's just
slightly bigger.
He doesn't know how to actuallyfight.
SPEAKER_02 (14:39):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (14:39):
But if he did, and some of the other kids, the
whole situation's gonna changebecause again, the kid's not as
scary now because I know how toblock your moves, I know how to
do this stuff.
SPEAKER_01 (14:51):
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_03 (14:52):
So again, with that gone, what thread is the kid,
you know, besides just pickingon you and really do words
really hurt?
SPEAKER_01 (15:01):
Right.
You know, is it sticks andstones?
SPEAKER_03 (15:04):
Right, sticks and stones can break my bones.
But whips and chains exciting.
SPEAKER_01 (15:10):
That's not the saying.
Well, it's one of them.
But I think it goes beyond theyou know, the male mysteries
goes beyond fighting, it goesbeyond um hunting, you know,
learning to shoot, learning tofish, and all that other stuff.
(15:30):
It's also about how to take careof your family.
How you know how to be a man.
SPEAKER_03 (15:38):
Right.
And how to deal with that driveto want to take care of your
family, to provide for yourfamily.
SPEAKER_01 (15:45):
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_03 (15:47):
You know, and I I think it also teaches us that
wonderful thing to where we cando that whole women and children
first.
Knowing that that means we mightbe giving up our lives to
protect them and the nextgeneration.
Right.
Uh to be able to compartment parhelp me out here.
SPEAKER_01 (16:09):
Compartmentalize.
SPEAKER_03 (16:10):
Compartmentalize that is a good thing sometimes.
SPEAKER_01 (16:14):
Uh right.
Well, and you know, as guys, wetend to do that anyway.
That lovely wordcompartmentalize.
We tend to do that.
Yes.
But I think if we have if wehave some instruction, and I
don't know if I don't know ifyou can really teach what that
(16:35):
means or how to how to managethose compartments.
SPEAKER_03 (16:40):
Just because you separated away from you while
you're doing the task does notmean at some point you don't
have to revisit this andactually deal with those
emotions and those thoughts.
SPEAKER_02 (16:51):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (16:52):
I I'm sure every soldier out there could tell you
the same thing, and that's why alot of them have the issues that
they have.
SPEAKER_01 (16:59):
Oh, sure, yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (17:00):
You know, I mean they've been stressed beyond
their normal means, and it'sit's something hard to deal
with.
SPEAKER_01 (17:08):
Right.
It takes a toll on the body andthe mind, you know.
SPEAKER_03 (17:12):
It really does.
And unfortunately for some ofthese people, it no, they don't
know when it what's gonna setthem off or what's not.
But part of that mystery issitting there learning how to
deal with it, to at least learnhow to try to start working
through it.
SPEAKER_02 (17:28):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (17:29):
I'm not gonna sit there and say fix it, but at
least the strength to okay, Igotta do something about this, I
gotta make a change.
SPEAKER_01 (17:36):
Well, and the and that's another mystery for men
is knowing when to reach out forhelp.
SPEAKER_03 (17:44):
Because there's a lot of times because these
mysteries and stuff are sovague, it it's hard to tell
people when to do that, when notto.
SPEAKER_01 (17:52):
Absolutely.
Yeah, I mean, sometimes thoseare just lessons learned.
SPEAKER_03 (17:58):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (17:58):
You know, where it's something you had to you gotta
do it on your own sometimes.
SPEAKER_03 (18:03):
I'd I I would sit there and suggest, hey guys, get
together, talk about thesethings, experience them.
SPEAKER_01 (18:09):
Mm-hmm.
Go back to poker nights.
Go back to poker nights and sitaround and have these
conversations.
You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_03 (18:19):
Have them nights where you go out fishing and
bring back a mess of fish fordinner.
Yeah, you might be cleaning fishfor the next two days, but hey.
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (18:28):
And if you don't, you know, if you don't bring
back any fish, that's fine.
Just, you know, go and have yourbeers and have those
conversations.
See what happens.
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (18:39):
Speaking of beer, you want some coffee?
SPEAKER_01 (18:44):
Thanks for listening.
Join us next week for anotherepisode.
Pegan Coffee Talk is brought toyou by Life Temple and Seminary.
Please visit us at lifetempleseminary.org for more
information, as well as links toour social media Facebook,
Discord, Twitter, YouTube, andReddit.
SPEAKER_00 (19:02):
We travel down this trodden path, the maze of stone
and mire.
Just hold my hand as we pass bya steel blazing fires.
And so it is the end of ourdays, to walk with me till
morning breaks.
(19:23):
And so it is the end of our daysto walk with me till morning
breaks,
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