February 10, 2025 • 20 mins
Have you ever thought of grief as a companion rather than an enemy? Join me, Mama Bear Wendy, on a heartfelt journey through the Parables of Grief podcast, where we transform sorrow into strength. This episode brings you personal stories of loss and healing, beginning with a young girl's touching portrayal of grief as a character she learns to engage with rather than fear. Drawing from scriptures like Isaiah 53:3-5, and the example of the Savior, Jesus Christ, we explore how being "acquainted with grief" can be a surprising gift. By recognizing grief as a part of our journey, we discover avenues for healing and resilience.
We'll also share reflections on a concept known as the loss histogram, which highlights how past grief interacts with current experiences. Through the poignant narration of losing family members, we'll examine enduring emotional connections and the resilience built from those experiences. In this episode, symbolic ceremonies, like breaking glass objects, illustrate how acknowledging grief can release its hold on us. We end with the 5 Pillars of Resilience, offering support for those navigating their unique paths through grief, reminding you that hope and healing are always within reach.
The information provided on this website is for educational purposes only and should not be considered as a substitute for professional psychological advice. If you are experiencing mental health issues, please consult a licensed therapist or other qualified healthcare provider.
If you would like more grief support please see my website at Mamabearwendy.com for upcoming grief groups and 1:1 opportunities.
Although your experience and path will be unique, there is hope ahead in this path and you are not alone. I can see your pain and we will walk this road together. Here is a big bear hug from Mama Bear Wendy, your fierce support in the journey of grief, until next time.
If you enjoy this podcast please consider donating to help us keep going.
"Wendy has a beautiful way of sitting in the deep end of the ocean with you. Her presence alone is healing. She meets you where you’re at and doesn’t push you any further than where you want to go. She gently nudges you into new places with new perspectives. She is highly intuitive, sensitive and compassionate. She brings a depth to the table you rarely see. Her experiences have given her an extraordinary level of understanding and a safe place to walk to as she is a safe harbor fill of strength and integrity. She is raw and real and beautifully vulnerable and she is exceptional at conveying the words that are hard to find. She is a rare one." Christi D.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Mama Bear Wendy (00:03):
Hello friends, this is the Parables of Grief
podcast and this is your host,Mama Bear Wendy, I'm here to
share some love and light withyou on your journey through
grief and loss.
I hope, as our healing pathsconnect for the next few minutes
, we can walk together and findstrength for the road ahead.
One scientist suggests thatwhat the grieving need most is
to have others witness our painand help us not feel so alone.
(00:25):
I hope in our time together youwill find the companionship and
understanding that you need.
The intention of this podcastis to use parables of grief to
find the Savior and His promisedhealing in the daily and
commonplace, to see how we aretruly never alone and to find,
like the disciples on the roadto Emmaus, the Savior by our
side, even if we didn'trecognize him at first, because
(00:47):
he showed up in unexpected andcommon ways.
Also, there is much coming soonto help with your journey.
The Parables of Grief book willbe coming out by Christmas of
2025, and there areopportunities to join me in
online grief groups andone-on-one companion sessions.
Please check out my website atmomadbearwendycom for more
(01:07):
information.
Hello friends, today we're goingto talk about being acquainted
with grief.
This is a hard one.
I think most of us do notreally want to be acquainted
with grief, but my suggestiontoday is that being acquainted
(01:30):
with grief is actually a giftand makes us more like the man
who was acquainted with grief.
I'm going to share with you ascripture about that man, our
Savior Jesus Christ.
I'm going to tell you somestories about my experiences
(01:51):
being acquainted with grief andI'm going to share with you what
I've learned, and I hope thatas we discuss today, you will
find that maybe grief is notwhat you thought.
So let's start with ourscripture, and our scripture
today is found in Isaiah 53,verses 3 through 5.
(02:14):
There is a second scripture, inMosiah 4.14, that goes along
with this, so we'll actuallyhave two scriptures.
Isaiah 53, 3 through 5, says hetalking about the Savior.
He is despised and rejected ofmen, a man of sorrows and
acquainted with grief, and wehid, as it were, our faces from
(02:37):
him.
He was despised and we esteemedhim not.
Surely he hath borne our griefsand carried our sorrows.
Yet we did esteem him stricken,smitten of God and afflicted.
But he was wounded for ourtransgressions.
He was bruised for ouriniquities.
The chastisement of our peacewas upon him, and with his
(03:00):
stripes we are healed Again.
I was going to share a secondscripture.
This one is found in Mosiah14.4.
Surely he hath borne our griefsand carried our sorrows.
So our first story today is froma friend of mine.
I met her at my very firstgrief group right after my
(03:24):
husband died.
This would have been aboutFebruary or March of 2023, we
both went to a grief group inour neighborhood and I learned
that she lost her husband a weekafter me, also in a car
accident in a car accident, andshe had three daughters that
(03:49):
were also in that accident, andher 14-year-old shared some
wisdom.
This a couple weeks ago.
And something that she'slearned from grief is that she
has actually drawn her as acharacter drawn grief, not
herself and in this image ofgrief she has imagined letting
her out daily to teach her whatshe has to teach, and then she
(04:14):
is glad grief is to go back intothe background and let this
young lady do her work or schoolor whatever it is that she's
required to do.
She learned early in her griefthat if she ignored grief and
didn't let her out, then shegrief got bigger and bigger and
(04:39):
would come out in embarrassingways, like perhaps at school, or
perhaps at a church activity orin some place that she did not
want to be grieving.
And so this young lady gave mean example that maybe grief
isn't this monster that wethought she was.
(05:01):
Maybe grief actually is apartner in this time of loss and
is our way to process andnavigate the loss of our spouse.
So some experience with griefthroughout my life.
I was challenged soon after myhusband died to do something
(05:21):
called a loss histogram.
Some scientists say that lossis like a tuning fork and as you
have new experiences with grief, other experiences in your life
get triggered, they resonatewith this experience and so all
(05:43):
kinds of things may go off inyour brain as you experience
trauma and loss and grief.
So, as she had me do this losshistogram, I wrote down things
like when my younger cousin waskilled, also hit by a teenage
driver, and there was a lot ofloss for our family at that time
(06:07):
.
I was very close to her oldersister and my aunt, the mother
of this little girl, and watchedsome very raw, bleeding, open
wound grief.
Very young I would have beenmaybe 12 or 13 at the time and I
(06:28):
didn't really understand what Iwas seeing.
I didn't understand the heavy,hard emotions.
I've been an empath most of mylife so I could feel how hard it
was, but I didn't reallyunderstand or have any skills or
knowledge of what to do aboutit, so it was kind of
(06:49):
devastating.
Other experiences were when mygrandfather died.
My grandfather is one of thosepeople that I don't know if you
have ever thought a person wasan antique.
My grandfather Smith is one ofthose people.
They don't make them peoplelike him anymore.
(07:13):
He was three years old when hisfather was killed in
backcountry Kentucky by a manwho wanted his dog.
So he had a very good huntingdog.
His wife had let this man takethe dog for a hunt and he didn't
(07:34):
bring the dog back as he hadagreed, and so my grandfather's
father went to get the dog andthe dog came running to him when
he called and my grandfather'sfather turned around and started
to walk away and the man shothim in the back and killed him.
(07:55):
When my grandfather was 13, hismother died of tuberculosis.
So for the 10 years she was awidow.
She was an amazing woman whorose up out of the poverty and
poverty, education, boundariesand all the things of her time
(08:16):
and ran a good food store whatis that called Dry goods store
and saved money for her children.
And anyway, when she gottuberculosis she of course got
sicker and sicker and eventuallydied.
So when my grandfather was 13,when my grandfather was 13, he
(08:42):
moved in with his aunt, hismother's sister, and his uncle,
his father's brother.
Okay, so I'm showing somehistory here.
Anyway, this is family history.
And so these two, his aunt anduncle, raised not only his
family of three children whenhis mother died of tuberculosis,
but also his other aunt'schildren, and I think she had
(09:08):
five.
So all in all they had 18children in their home.
The boys slept out in the barn,the girls slept in the house,
and my grandfather has many,many stories of being hungry.
He has stories of going into andso this is going to sound like
Lord of the Rings for a minute,so enjoy with me.
(09:30):
He has stories of going intothe neighbor's garden and
stealing potatoes and then goingout into the woods and cooking
them, but not knowing that youhad to punch holes in the skin
or they would explode.
So they would take thesepotatoes out into the field and
make a big mess.
Anyway, they were starving.
(09:51):
So my grandfather took hismother's example of education
and rising up and went to schooland became a school teacher.
He bought an apple orchard.
My grandfather is an example tome of rising up, of resilience,
of being not defined by yourcircumstances, and when he died
(10:17):
I was devastated.
My grandfather was one of thosepeople in my life that when I
would come into the room hewould make me feel like the most
important person in the world.
He would say things like blessyour heart and all the Southern
things that you hear, and mygrandfather would sing and he
(10:39):
would whistle and he was thehardest worker I have ever met.
He was amazing.
I remember going on tractorrides with him.
I remember going on out intohis barn and just having grand
adventures with my cousins intheir big old barn in the hay,
(11:00):
and when he passed it was veryhard.
I was very sad about mygrandfather's passing.
So these are some of the thingsthat were on my loss histogram
and I decided to do somethingwith these things to acknowledge
their place in my life.
This actually came from GriefGroup.
(11:22):
She suggested that one of herpatients clients, one of her
clients go to the local thriftstore and get different pieces
of glass that represented herloss and her emotions.
Actually it was about heremotions.
So she went and got one thathad a smiley face on it and she
(11:45):
went and got one that haddifferent things that
represented her emotions, andshe took them out into a place
and broke them and, symbolicallyand kind of as a ceremony, had
this overcoming or incorporatingor processing emotion.
So I decided to do that with myloss histogram and the same
friend that lost her husband aweek after mine.
(12:07):
And I went into the mountainsin this beautiful place
surrounded by quaking aspen thatwould sing to us I love this
idea of them singing when theirleaves rustle.
And we broke glass for each oneof these losses in my life and
(12:28):
became acquainted with my griefin a way that I had not before.
I had a piece of glass that wasan apple for my grandfather's
apple orchard.
When I was very young we had adog named Goofy, and that was
probably my first remember ofloss was when we had to give
(12:51):
Goofy up because we moved, andso I had a mug that had Goofy,
the Disney character, on it.
Anyway, all of these things wetook into the mountains and we
broke them, and as I broke eachone, I felt like I released
(13:11):
chains of identity and heavinessto these moments of loss in my
life.
I also wanted to talk about thisidea of despising.
Throughout the scripture that Iread you.
It talked about we despise theSavior because he was acquainted
(13:32):
with grief, and I havedefinitely experienced that idea
of despising grief.
I don't want her in my life.
I don't like her.
She is hard and heavy andexhausting.
So my experience with grief andnot listening to her in my life
(13:55):
goes back to a story I've toldin a previous podcast.
This is where my experiences asa nurse did not serve me well.
When my husband died and what Imean by that is most of my
career I have ignored the needsof my body and if someone is
(14:19):
dying and you are the nurse,then nobody cares about your
bodily functions.
If you're hungry, then you goget a Coke and you caffeinate
until you can keep going, and ifyou need to use the bathroom,
well, you don't because nobodyis allowed to do that right now,
(14:40):
and so there has been a lot ofignoring the signals that I am
given.
And, again, in my loss of myhusband, this did not serve me
well.
It did not serve me as it hadin my career.
One of the things that was sortof my rule when I was working
(15:02):
is get to the end of the shift.
You can't cry, you can't fallapart, you can't be devastated,
whatever, until you get home.
And so that really didn't serveme, because this shift again,
we're in two and a half plusyears now and it's not over.
The shift doesn't end and theman that carried me during the
(15:25):
shift when I would get home,isn't here.
He died.
So I've had to learn new skills.
I've had to learn new ways todeal with grief, because I've
learned that my body will justtip over and say we can't carry
this anymore.
It's too heavy.
So one of my questions for youis what if you personified grief
(15:50):
and sorrow and this actuallygoes to a book that I really
like.
It's called A Hind's Feet inHigh Places, and a hind is a
mountain goat and they can climb, like you have seen mountain
goats standing on the edge ofcliffs on little tiny pieces of
(16:12):
outcropping that don't look verysafe, of outcropping that don't
look very safe.
In this book, grief and sorroware personified and it is a
story similar to something likePilgrim's Progress.
It's this beautiful book aboutMuch Afraid.
Much Afraid belongs to theFearing family and Much Afraid's
(16:33):
life is spent in fear and doubtand shame.
She is crippled and she hassome kind of face problem,
something about her face.
Anyway, her family is verynegative about her capabilities
because of her lameness and herfeet not working.
(16:55):
But she has a friend that isthe shepherd in the field next
to her home and she goes to himand sings songs and finds
comfort and the shepherd isalways kind and he always
encourages her and he alwaystells her that she is capable
and she is strong.
And one day he tells her I knowthe desire of your heart to go
(17:19):
to the kingdom of love with meand to the upper places where
the hinds can go, and I willgive you feet like the hinds
that you can jump to the kingdomof love with me, that you can
(17:39):
jump to the kingdom of love withme.
And Much Afraid, of course, isterrified by this idea.
But he has given her hope andso she, through much tribulation
and trial, gets to the placewhere they are going to meet and
he assigns her two friends.
Friend number one is grief,friend number two is sorrow, and
she hates them.
They are scary and tall and bigand they speak a language she
(18:03):
doesn't understand and shewonders about the shepherd and
what has he done and how canthis be right?
But as she suffers and as shetries to take this journey and
it's hard and the rocks hurt herbroken foot and she falls she
learns that if she hangs on togrief and sorrow, if she clings
(18:28):
to them, they are strong, theydo not fall and they do not
abandon her under anycircumstances and they do not
abandon her under anycircumstances and she starts to
learn their language and learnfrom them.
And they are powerful.
They are harsh and scary andbig, but they are also strong
(18:49):
and loyal and valiant in helpingher in her journey, helping her
in her journey.
So my proposition to you is whatif grief and sorrow are
actually compensatory blessingsfor losing your spouse?
I have a quote for you fromElder Scott.
He says Find the compensatoryblessings in your life when, in
(19:13):
the wisdom of the Lord in yourlife, when, in the wisdom of the
Lord, he deprives you ofsomething you very much want.
To the sightless or hearingimpaired, he sharpens the other
senses.
To the ill, he gives patience,understanding and increased
appreciation for others'kindness With the loss of a dear
one.
He deepens the bonds of love,enriches memories and kindles
(19:36):
hope in a future reunion.
You will discover compensatoryblessings when you willingly
accept the will of the Lord andexercise your faith in Him.
If you would like more griefsupport, please see my website
at mamabearwendycom for myupcoming 5 Pillars of Resilience
group and one-on-oneopportunities.
(19:56):
Although your experience andpath will be unique, there is
hope ahead in this path and youare not alone.
I can see your pain and we willwalk this road together.
Let's take a deep breathtogether and here is a big bear
hug from Mama Bear Wendy, untilnext time you.
Hello friends, this is the Parables of Grief
podcast and this is your host,Mama Bear Wendy, I'm here to
share some love and light withyou on your journey through
grief and loss.
I hope, as our healing pathsconnect for the next few minutes
, we can walk together and findstrength for the road ahead.
One scientist suggests thatwhat the grieving need most is
to have others witness our painand help us not feel so alone.
(00:25):
I hope in our time together youwill find the companionship and
understanding that you need.
The intention of this podcastis to use parables of grief to
find the Savior and His promisedhealing in the daily and
commonplace, to see how we aretruly never alone and to find,
like the disciples on the roadto Emmaus, the Savior by our
side, even if we didn'trecognize him at first, because
(00:47):
he showed up in unexpected andcommon ways.
Also, there is much coming soonto help with your journey.
The Parables of Grief book willbe coming out by Christmas of
2025, and there areopportunities to join me in
online grief groups andone-on-one companion sessions.
Please check out my website atmomadbearwendycom for more
(01:07):
information.
Hello friends, today we're goingto talk about being acquainted
with grief.
This is a hard one.
I think most of us do notreally want to be acquainted
with grief, but my suggestiontoday is that being acquainted
(01:30):
with grief is actually a giftand makes us more like the man
who was acquainted with grief.
I'm going to share with you ascripture about that man, our
Savior Jesus Christ.
I'm going to tell you somestories about my experiences
(01:51):
being acquainted with grief andI'm going to share with you what
I've learned, and I hope thatas we discuss today, you will
find that maybe grief is notwhat you thought.
So let's start with ourscripture, and our scripture
today is found in Isaiah 53,verses 3 through 5.
(02:14):
There is a second scripture, inMosiah 4.14, that goes along
with this, so we'll actuallyhave two scriptures.
Isaiah 53, 3 through 5, says hetalking about the Savior.
He is despised and rejected ofmen, a man of sorrows and
acquainted with grief, and wehid, as it were, our faces from
(02:37):
him.
He was despised and we esteemedhim not.
Surely he hath borne our griefsand carried our sorrows.
Yet we did esteem him stricken,smitten of God and afflicted.
But he was wounded for ourtransgressions.
He was bruised for ouriniquities.
The chastisement of our peacewas upon him, and with his
(03:00):
stripes we are healed Again.
I was going to share a secondscripture.
This one is found in Mosiah14.4.
Surely he hath borne our griefsand carried our sorrows.
So our first story today is froma friend of mine.
I met her at my very firstgrief group right after my
(03:24):
husband died.
This would have been aboutFebruary or March of 2023, we
both went to a grief group inour neighborhood and I learned
that she lost her husband a weekafter me, also in a car
accident in a car accident, andshe had three daughters that
(03:49):
were also in that accident, andher 14-year-old shared some
wisdom.
This a couple weeks ago.
And something that she'slearned from grief is that she
has actually drawn her as acharacter drawn grief, not
herself and in this image ofgrief she has imagined letting
her out daily to teach her whatshe has to teach, and then she
(04:14):
is glad grief is to go back intothe background and let this
young lady do her work or schoolor whatever it is that she's
required to do.
She learned early in her griefthat if she ignored grief and
didn't let her out, then shegrief got bigger and bigger and
(04:39):
would come out in embarrassingways, like perhaps at school, or
perhaps at a church activity orin some place that she did not
want to be grieving.
And so this young lady gave mean example that maybe grief
isn't this monster that wethought she was.
(05:01):
Maybe grief actually is apartner in this time of loss and
is our way to process andnavigate the loss of our spouse.
So some experience with griefthroughout my life.
I was challenged soon after myhusband died to do something
(05:21):
called a loss histogram.
Some scientists say that lossis like a tuning fork and as you
have new experiences with grief, other experiences in your life
get triggered, they resonatewith this experience and so all
(05:43):
kinds of things may go off inyour brain as you experience
trauma and loss and grief.
So, as she had me do this losshistogram, I wrote down things
like when my younger cousin waskilled, also hit by a teenage
driver, and there was a lot ofloss for our family at that time
(06:07):
.
I was very close to her oldersister and my aunt, the mother
of this little girl, and watchedsome very raw, bleeding, open
wound grief.
Very young I would have beenmaybe 12 or 13 at the time and I
(06:28):
didn't really understand what Iwas seeing.
I didn't understand the heavy,hard emotions.
I've been an empath most of mylife so I could feel how hard it
was, but I didn't reallyunderstand or have any skills or
knowledge of what to do aboutit, so it was kind of
(06:49):
devastating.
Other experiences were when mygrandfather died.
My grandfather is one of thosepeople that I don't know if you
have ever thought a person wasan antique.
My grandfather Smith is one ofthose people.
They don't make them peoplelike him anymore.
(07:13):
He was three years old when hisfather was killed in
backcountry Kentucky by a manwho wanted his dog.
So he had a very good huntingdog.
His wife had let this man takethe dog for a hunt and he didn't
(07:34):
bring the dog back as he hadagreed, and so my grandfather's
father went to get the dog andthe dog came running to him when
he called and my grandfather'sfather turned around and started
to walk away and the man shothim in the back and killed him.
(07:55):
When my grandfather was 13, hismother died of tuberculosis.
So for the 10 years she was awidow.
She was an amazing woman whorose up out of the poverty and
poverty, education, boundariesand all the things of her time
(08:16):
and ran a good food store whatis that called Dry goods store
and saved money for her children.
And anyway, when she gottuberculosis she of course got
sicker and sicker and eventuallydied.
So when my grandfather was 13,when my grandfather was 13, he
(08:42):
moved in with his aunt, hismother's sister, and his uncle,
his father's brother.
Okay, so I'm showing somehistory here.
Anyway, this is family history.
And so these two, his aunt anduncle, raised not only his
family of three children whenhis mother died of tuberculosis,
but also his other aunt'schildren, and I think she had
(09:08):
five.
So all in all they had 18children in their home.
The boys slept out in the barn,the girls slept in the house,
and my grandfather has many,many stories of being hungry.
He has stories of going into andso this is going to sound like
Lord of the Rings for a minute,so enjoy with me.
(09:30):
He has stories of going intothe neighbor's garden and
stealing potatoes and then goingout into the woods and cooking
them, but not knowing that youhad to punch holes in the skin
or they would explode.
So they would take thesepotatoes out into the field and
make a big mess.
Anyway, they were starving.
(09:51):
So my grandfather took hismother's example of education
and rising up and went to schooland became a school teacher.
He bought an apple orchard.
My grandfather is an example tome of rising up, of resilience,
of being not defined by yourcircumstances, and when he died
(10:17):
I was devastated.
My grandfather was one of thosepeople in my life that when I
would come into the room hewould make me feel like the most
important person in the world.
He would say things like blessyour heart and all the Southern
things that you hear, and mygrandfather would sing and he
(10:39):
would whistle and he was thehardest worker I have ever met.
He was amazing.
I remember going on tractorrides with him.
I remember going on out intohis barn and just having grand
adventures with my cousins intheir big old barn in the hay,
(11:00):
and when he passed it was veryhard.
I was very sad about mygrandfather's passing.
So these are some of the thingsthat were on my loss histogram
and I decided to do somethingwith these things to acknowledge
their place in my life.
This actually came from GriefGroup.
(11:22):
She suggested that one of herpatients clients, one of her
clients go to the local thriftstore and get different pieces
of glass that represented herloss and her emotions.
Actually it was about heremotions.
So she went and got one thathad a smiley face on it and she
(11:45):
went and got one that haddifferent things that
represented her emotions, andshe took them out into a place
and broke them and, symbolicallyand kind of as a ceremony, had
this overcoming or incorporatingor processing emotion.
So I decided to do that with myloss histogram and the same
friend that lost her husband aweek after mine.
(12:07):
And I went into the mountainsin this beautiful place
surrounded by quaking aspen thatwould sing to us I love this
idea of them singing when theirleaves rustle.
And we broke glass for each oneof these losses in my life and
(12:28):
became acquainted with my griefin a way that I had not before.
I had a piece of glass that wasan apple for my grandfather's
apple orchard.
When I was very young we had adog named Goofy, and that was
probably my first remember ofloss was when we had to give
(12:51):
Goofy up because we moved, andso I had a mug that had Goofy,
the Disney character, on it.
Anyway, all of these things wetook into the mountains and we
broke them, and as I broke eachone, I felt like I released
(13:11):
chains of identity and heavinessto these moments of loss in my
life.
I also wanted to talk about thisidea of despising.
Throughout the scripture that Iread you.
It talked about we despise theSavior because he was acquainted
(13:32):
with grief, and I havedefinitely experienced that idea
of despising grief.
I don't want her in my life.
I don't like her.
She is hard and heavy andexhausting.
So my experience with grief andnot listening to her in my life
(13:55):
goes back to a story I've toldin a previous podcast.
This is where my experiences asa nurse did not serve me well.
When my husband died and what Imean by that is most of my
career I have ignored the needsof my body and if someone is
(14:19):
dying and you are the nurse,then nobody cares about your
bodily functions.
If you're hungry, then you goget a Coke and you caffeinate
until you can keep going, and ifyou need to use the bathroom,
well, you don't because nobodyis allowed to do that right now,
(14:40):
and so there has been a lot ofignoring the signals that I am
given.
And, again, in my loss of myhusband, this did not serve me
well.
It did not serve me as it hadin my career.
One of the things that was sortof my rule when I was working
(15:02):
is get to the end of the shift.
You can't cry, you can't fallapart, you can't be devastated,
whatever, until you get home.
And so that really didn't serveme, because this shift again,
we're in two and a half plusyears now and it's not over.
The shift doesn't end and theman that carried me during the
(15:25):
shift when I would get home,isn't here.
He died.
So I've had to learn new skills.
I've had to learn new ways todeal with grief, because I've
learned that my body will justtip over and say we can't carry
this anymore.
It's too heavy.
So one of my questions for youis what if you personified grief
(15:50):
and sorrow and this actuallygoes to a book that I really
like.
It's called A Hind's Feet inHigh Places, and a hind is a
mountain goat and they can climb, like you have seen mountain
goats standing on the edge ofcliffs on little tiny pieces of
(16:12):
outcropping that don't look verysafe, of outcropping that don't
look very safe.
In this book, grief and sorroware personified and it is a
story similar to something likePilgrim's Progress.
It's this beautiful book aboutMuch Afraid.
Much Afraid belongs to theFearing family and Much Afraid's
(16:33):
life is spent in fear and doubtand shame.
She is crippled and she hassome kind of face problem,
something about her face.
Anyway, her family is verynegative about her capabilities
because of her lameness and herfeet not working.
(16:55):
But she has a friend that isthe shepherd in the field next
to her home and she goes to himand sings songs and finds
comfort and the shepherd isalways kind and he always
encourages her and he alwaystells her that she is capable
and she is strong.
And one day he tells her I knowthe desire of your heart to go
(17:19):
to the kingdom of love with meand to the upper places where
the hinds can go, and I willgive you feet like the hinds
that you can jump to the kingdomof love with me, that you can
(17:39):
jump to the kingdom of love withme.
And Much Afraid, of course, isterrified by this idea.
But he has given her hope andso she, through much tribulation
and trial, gets to the placewhere they are going to meet and
he assigns her two friends.
Friend number one is grief,friend number two is sorrow, and
she hates them.
They are scary and tall and bigand they speak a language she
(18:03):
doesn't understand and shewonders about the shepherd and
what has he done and how canthis be right?
But as she suffers and as shetries to take this journey and
it's hard and the rocks hurt herbroken foot and she falls she
learns that if she hangs on togrief and sorrow, if she clings
(18:28):
to them, they are strong, theydo not fall and they do not
abandon her under anycircumstances and they do not
abandon her under anycircumstances and she starts to
learn their language and learnfrom them.
And they are powerful.
They are harsh and scary andbig, but they are also strong
(18:49):
and loyal and valiant in helpingher in her journey, helping her
in her journey.
So my proposition to you is whatif grief and sorrow are
actually compensatory blessingsfor losing your spouse?
I have a quote for you fromElder Scott.
He says Find the compensatoryblessings in your life when, in
(19:13):
the wisdom of the Lord in yourlife, when, in the wisdom of the
Lord, he deprives you ofsomething you very much want.
To the sightless or hearingimpaired, he sharpens the other
senses.
To the ill, he gives patience,understanding and increased
appreciation for others'kindness With the loss of a dear
one.
He deepens the bonds of love,enriches memories and kindles
(19:36):
hope in a future reunion.
You will discover compensatoryblessings when you willingly
accept the will of the Lord andexercise your faith in Him.
If you would like more griefsupport, please see my website
at mamabearwendycom for myupcoming 5 Pillars of Resilience
group and one-on-oneopportunities.
(19:56):
Although your experience andpath will be unique, there is
hope ahead in this path and youare not alone.
I can see your pain and we willwalk this road together.
Let's take a deep breathtogether and here is a big bear
hug from Mama Bear Wendy, untilnext time you.
Host
Mama Bear Wendy
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