November 15, 2023 • 18 mins
Have you ever pondered the power your personal narrative holds over your reality? I'm here with Lisa Sarnowski to help you navigate the world of self-told stories and how subtly tweaking them can lead you to the life you've always yearned for. Drawing from our own transformative experiences, hear how Lisa discovered her knack for storytelling and how I (April) balanced my dual roles as a business owner and Mom. We're eager to hear your own experiences as well, so do share them with us!
Then, we'll traverse the intriguing path of secondary gains and how they shape our current situations. We equip you with practical techniques to rewire your subconscious mind and make you understand the comfort and benefits of sticking to familiar narratives. We close by emphasizing the potent power of choice. Even when adversity strikes, how you can consciously choose joy. So, tune in, harness the power of your stories and remember, you're amazing!
Get DEEPER with April, Lisa & The ParadigmU Team. Connect with Us HERE.
Love the Episode? Please Leave us a Review on iTunes:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/skis-saloon-virtual-bar-podcast/id1535050128
-----------------------------------
Get Exclusive Access to Premium Content through our "Good Karma Club"
Click Here to Join the Club *Access to Bonus Content begins January 2024
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Paradigm you podcast.
You know, in this work and onthe journey, I've just seen that
it feels too easy.
What do you mean?
I just write down a new versionof myself, or write down a
different story about myself.
That is exactly what you do.
That's exactly where you start.
Really think of yourself a yearfrom now.
Who is that version of you?
Speaker 2 (00:21):
You're listening to the Paradigm you podcast.
You're about to starttransforming your life by
growing your mind and expandingyour paradigms.
Here we'll cover real lifetopics, just like the stuff
you'd share with a good friend.
This podcast will serve uptopics that weigh on our hearts
and keep us up at night, whetherit's navigating parenthood and
becoming an adult, or wayfinding, personal development, marriage
and money.
You, my friend, are in theright place.
(00:42):
I'm glad you're here.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
Welcome back to the Paradigm you podcast.
On this week's episode, we'recontinuing the series of how to
harness the power of yoursubconscious by strategic moves
so that you can get the lifethat you want.
Today, we're talking about thestories that we tell ourselves
on repeat, and I have thebrilliant Lisa Sarnowski joining
(01:04):
me today.
Lisa, how's it going?
I'm doing great.
April, good to be here.
Are we ready to talk aboutstories this week?
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Oh, such a great topic and pivotal if anyone
wants to actually make change intheir life.
Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
Absolutely Petable.
Yeah, oh, my goodness.
So you know, Lisa and I bothhad a whole bunch of different
experiences with regards tostories, but we decided that
this is a topic that we want totalk about, because the stories
that we tell ourselves on aregular basis actually end up
creating the environment thatwe're living.
And if you are looking aroundyour environment, your life
(01:40):
right now, and there's some areathat you're like hold on, this
is not what I agree to.
This is not in alignment withwhere I want my life to be.
That means that there's some,I'd say, dissonance between what
you want and what you have asfar as the stories that are on
repeat in your head.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Yeah, absolutely, and you know those stories.
Our brain can't decipherbetween true and false.
So for anyone telling yourselfa story is just going to
continue to cement your currentreality.
And this is where it becomesfun, because you realize that in
order to change your reality,you simply need a new story.
(02:20):
That's all.
It is Pretty cool.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
So cool, how neat you just changed the channel.
Yeah, you're like wait, I don'tlike the show that I'm watching
.
Let's move on to something thatI actually agree with a little
bit more.
So I have a couple of examplesthat I can think of off the top
of my head.
But, Lisa, how about you?
Do you have any examples whereyou're like oh yeah, this was a
story I had on repeat.
(02:44):
Maybe you, you know, picked itup at some point in your life
and you're like hold on.
At some point you're like youwoke up and you're like, nope, I
don't agree anymore.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
Multiple, right?
I mean, we're all on thisjourney, we're all rewriting our
stories as we go, but one ofthem early on for me as a coach
was that I'm a coach, I'm not abusiness owner, and that took a
while for me to unprogram andrealize that you can be both,
and what does that look likeunique to me?
(03:13):
Or another one I hear a lotfrom clients is I'm just I'm not
good at sales.
I'm not good at sales.
I'm not good at sales.
You know I'm sure you hear thistoo, and so, but honestly, one
of my biggest stories that I'vehad to reprogram is actually the
story that I'm not a goodstoryteller.
That one was mine for me.
I uncovered that one a fewyears ago and I thought wait a
(03:38):
second.
I think they are all hinging onthis one story.
I love that.
I never told you that.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
Yeah, tell me more about this.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
I am surrounded by incredibly creative people in my
life and I definitely put themon a pedestal regarding their
ability to tell stories.
What I didn't realize I wasdoing subconsciously is when I
would start to speak up aroundcertain people, they would stop
listening to me.
They would physically leave theroom, they wouldn't engage me
(04:12):
back and I misinterpreted thatas me not being an effective
storyteller, when the realitywas, what I was talking about
was completely over their head.
It just didn't land.
Certain people want to talkabout movies and actors and I'm
all in.
I will listen to the storythat's being presented to me,
(04:35):
but that's definitely not my jam.
I don't know celebrity namestends not to be where I am, but
when I would be talking aboutpersonal development or growing
a business, it was the samereaction back.
Almost it was like theycouldn't retain or understand
what I was talking about.
Does that make sense?
Speaker 3 (04:54):
It does.
It's so interesting that that'sthe story that came to you
because, interestingly, a lot ofour listeners are entrepreneurs
and I wonder if they havesimilar experiences.
Oh, I'm so curious now, okay,listeners, if that is a story or
something similar where you'relike, yeah, I just can't relate
to certain things because myhead is going in a different
(05:15):
direction, let us know.
I would love to hear more aboutthat.
So how did you overcome that,leis?
I started.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
First of all, I started re-imagining what an
effective storyteller was and Istarted writing more, and then I
started seeing that and ofcourse, when you are surrounded
by the people that you're meantto be surrounded with, that
conversation does land andpeople do resonate and they can
relate, and so it's equally justaudience adaptation as well in
(05:44):
my own life.
But there was a lot ofsubconscious reprogramming with
that.
So a lot of the work that we'retalking about in the series I
would take to my subconsciousreprogramming and use the visual
stimulus as well.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
Ooh, I love that.
That's so cool.
How about you?
Speaker 1 (06:01):
So what was a story that you rewrote?
Speaker 3 (06:04):
You know, I had two of them when I was thinking
about this episode that I'm likeoh, these are two that I think
were probably two of the biggerones that I've had to overcome
in the last few years.
The first one is that I can'tbe a parent a good parent and be
a business owner at the sametime.
Speaker 4 (06:20):
That was a story.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
Yeah, because I would look for proof.
So here's an interesting littleside note with regards to the
power of your subconscious whenyou start to believe a story and
you believe it to be true, thenall of a sudden you have all
these little antennas that goout and they're looking for
proof to validate whatever storyyou have on repeat.
(06:41):
So I had a story that you knowwhat, if I was going to be an
entrepreneur and a businessowner, I couldn't also equally
be this awesome rockstar momthat I aspired to be, who was
present for things andvolunteering in kids classrooms
and helping with homework andactually keeping my finger on
the pulse of what was happeningwith my children.
(07:02):
And so when I realized thatthat was something that I didn't
agree with and, equally, that'snot what I wanted.
So that's the key piece.
It's something that you have to.
If you disagree with it, that'sone thing, but if you're like,
wait, that's not what I want.
If I want both and I did Iwanted to be a successful
(07:22):
entrepreneur who was able tolean into my creativity and make
an impact in the ways that I'mmeant to make an impact, but
equally, I wanted to be thisamazing parent who could be
present and engaged with mychildren and I had this story
that was deeply ingrained, thatnope, you had to pick one or the
other.
And so once I decided that Iwanted to rewrite that story and
(07:42):
change that channel, forexample, then I started using
some of the different tools thatare available to you to
reprogram the subconscious andsay you know what, I'm gonna
rewrite my story and this is howI decide that it's going to
live and I'm gonna play it out.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
So cool.
How do you find you know whereare you at now with that story?
Oh, I'm so glad you asked.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
You know, I think, on a daily basis.
I think that it still bubblesup from time to time, but
equally, I feel like I'm armedwith the tools and the belief
system now that, no, I can haveboth and I get to choose how I
show up each day, and there maybe things or times where I drop
(08:26):
the ball in one area or theother, but it's also what is the
story when I do drop the ball,if you know, for example, if I
didn't get back to a parent tocoordinate a playdate for my
toddler quick enough, ooh, Icould be like oh, there's an
inadequacy there, or I'm theslacker, or I could just be like
you know what I'm busy and I'mgoing to show up the best I can
(08:47):
when I can.
And equally, I have to be okaywith sometimes just, you know,
not getting back to those textmessages to coordinate that
playdate right away.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
Yes, awesome, oh, that's so great.
I'm loving the new reframe andI do think a lot of listeners
can can relate to that, becauseyou know, working with women
entrepreneurs that's part of thejourney is how do we become the
identity that we want and bethe business owner and be the
mother that we desire?
You know, that's that is.
(09:17):
That's a good, a good storythat you've retold.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
Oh it's a work in progress, like we all are
working on, but you know, thereason that we decided that
stories was so important wasbecause a lot of us have these
stories on repeat.
It's almost like a constantloop, that's like playing almost
in this, like background noise,and what I want to want our
(09:41):
listeners to understand is thatyou get to change that and you
can stop that loop if it's notsomething that's in alignment
with where you want to go.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
Yeah, and it's such a powerful tool.
We think sometimes you know, inthis work and on the journey,
I've just seen that it feels tooeasy.
What do you mean?
I just write down a new, writedown a new version of myself, or
write down a different storyabout myself.
That is exactly what you do.
That's exactly where you startis really think of yourself a
(10:10):
year from now.
Who is that version of you?
Write it out in detail.
What does that look like?
If you're a business owner,what are you doing?
What are you not doing?
What are you passing off?
What are you?
You know, where is this growing?
If you are a mother as well,what does that look like?
Or if you're partnered, you getto decide what your life looks
like, and really that in and ofitself is a story that we don't
(10:34):
decide, that we are simply thevictim of whatever is around us,
and so you're alreadyreprogramming that and really
embodying this idea that I am incontrol of my future.
It is up to me to decide andchoose.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
Ooh, I just got goosebumps.
I did Good stuff, it is goodstuff.
It's so exciting and you know,as women entrepreneurs, I don't
think a whole lot of people aretalking to us about that.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
No, I think it gets seen sometimes a little bit too
softly like oh, that's just alittle bit of woo, woo stuff,
that's not actually what youneed.
When really you know the coreof these stories, what you'll
start to understand and unpackfor yourself.
And we're not going to we don'thave time to go into this too
much, but I do want to plant theseed of this idea of secondary
(11:25):
gains, because the reason you'restaying in your current story
loop is because it somehowserves you.
So let me give you a quickexample of this.
It's like someone whoaccidentally injures themselves
and then they have to take timeoff work.
They have their family takecare of them and they get a lot
(11:48):
of attention.
So secondary gains sometimesexist in our world.
They can both help and hurt us.
So in this example, gettinghurt gets you the outcome you
want.
You want attention, you wanttime with family, you want time
off work.
However, it also hurts youbecause you're getting that
outcome not in a way that youactually want.
So as you start rewriting yourstory, what you're going to
(12:10):
realize and unpack a bit isthere have been some benefits
for you to stay safe in this oldstory loop and this old story
in these old paradigms.
Speaker 3 (12:21):
Oh, I had to work through some of that, Lisa.
Uh-huh, Lots of it.
I'm still working through itBecause once you start shedding
that light on ooh, what is thesecondary gain?
Yeah, and why am I?
Maybe playing small?
Or perhaps, you know, for abusiness owner who maybe is
feeling like man, I just I can'tseem to get ahead.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Yes, or why am I not speaking up more?
Why am I not actually tellinglisteners exactly what I think
and feel?
Right, I mean, there's, there's.
This can go a lot of differentways within the business world.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
Oh, I've had to work through a lot of this and it
doesn't feel great.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Let's just call that out and be like oh, and it
shouldn't it almost shouldn'tfeel great because it's new
right and we forget that, likewe got so great at making
ourselves comfortable that weforget what that discomfort
feels like.
So if it feels uncomfortable,congratulations You're well in
the way You're winning.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
Exactly, you're doing the work.
You know what, lisa?
You just touched on a reallyimportant piece that I want to
make sure that we just pause andcamp out for a second, which is
if it doesn't feel comfortable.
That means that you're movingbeyond that comfort level and
your subconscious is reallybuilt to keep you comfortable
and feeling safe.
(13:40):
Yeah, it's going to continue toserve up, as we've talked about
on previous episodes.
It's going to continue to serveup that 95% of your daily
actions and beliefs andbehaviors, because that's what
it believes is your, is what youneed.
So when you start fucking thesystem, yeah, and it's.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
It's what we've conditioned it to believe.
Right, like, please keep me inthis loop, because this is what
I do, this is my routine, thisis what keeps me safe, and when
you start working against that,it's like wait a second, you
program me one way.
You know it's exciting tounwind that.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:20):
So you know, to kind of put a bow on this and tie
this all together, each of ushas stories that we've signed up
and allowed to run kind ofthrough our subconscious, in the
background of our minds, almoston autopilot.
And Lisa and I are here todayto challenge you to to look at
(14:40):
those stories and ask yourselfdo I believe these stories to be
true?
Mm, hmm, Do I agree with thesestories and am I willing to
continue living from that place,or do I want to change the
script?
Do I want to change the storiesof how I believe in myself,
what I believe is possible,where I want to go?
(15:01):
This is truly shifting yourparadigm at like a basic level.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Yeah, but a foundational one, an absolutely
critical and foundational level,because you change your story,
you change your life.
So I absolutely agree, April.
I think if, if listeners, ifyou can work through those
questions that April posed andthen allow yourself space and
time to rewrite your story andstart working from that place, a
(15:31):
lot of magic will unfold very,very quickly, Yep absolutely.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
But before you can do that, you need to decide what
are the stories that you'rewilling to keep and what are the
stories that you want torelease.
And, equally, what is thatsecondary gain that Lisa talked
about that you're like, oh okay,now I realize this.
Do I want to continue operatingfrom that lens or is that
something that's keeping mefeeling stuck?
And once you have those answers, then you start using the tools
(16:01):
that we're going to continuegiving you to apply that
subconscious reprogramming tochange those stories.
But you can't change thestories through subconscious
reprogramming until you actuallyknow which ones you want to
release and change.
That's why we're calling lightto that today, because we want
to call out those stories that alot of us don't even realize
our stories.
All right, lisa, do you haveanything else that you want to
add?
Speaker 1 (16:21):
I would just love the listeners to know that we are
enjoying the series, and wewould love to hear from you what
your current stories are andhow we can support you through
them.
So feel free to drop us a noteand let us know.
Speaker 3 (16:33):
Yeah, and we have a really exciting topic that we're
going to be talking about nextweek.
That starts to loop all of thistogether, because you might be
at this point where you're likehold up.
Now I've just realized thatI've been met with resistance in
these areas.
Now I understand these storiesthat I need to change.
Now I understand that what'spossible and how I can change
some of these things.
What's the next step and how doI start bringing this all
(16:55):
together?
And we will be continuing toguide you through that for the
next couple of weeks in thisseries.
Until then, cheers to GoodKarma.
It is closing time.
Speaker 4 (17:06):
Thank you for listening to this entire podcast
.
I hope this episode has leftyou feeling curious and inspired
.
This podcast is intended tocreate expansion in your life
through unique stories andshared experiences, and if you
enjoyed today's episode, I havea request.
I'd like to ask you to sharethis podcast with your friends
and family.
(17:27):
I bet they'd enjoy it just asmuch as you have.
And, if you found value, pleaseshare this on your social media
outlets.
That is Good Karma in action.
My friends, all right, it isnow closing time.
Cheers to Good Karma and thepower to choose joy.
Speaker 5 (17:45):
If you like this, tell your friends.
Speaker 4 (17:49):
Stay tuned for the end because we have outtakes.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
And now for the outtakes.
And now for the outtakes.
Speaker 3 (17:57):
Hold on, I'm totally using this as outtake.
Go for it.
Speaker 5 (18:04):
Oh, that was fun, I got tongue-tied.
Hey, you've been listening.
Test Test one, two, three, four.
Speaker 3 (18:13):
Okay, Now say hey, welcome to the podcast.
Speaker 5 (18:17):
Hey, welcome to the podcast.
You're really great.
Everyone, Everyone that'slistening to this podcast, even
if they don't even hear the rest, even if they only can listen
to a part of it because of ascreaming baby You're all really
awesome.
Speaker 4 (18:33):
Yeah, thanks for listening, bye, bye.
Speaker 5 (18:35):
Bye, over and out.
Thanks for listening.
Welcome to the Paradigm you podcast.
You know, in this work and onthe journey, I've just seen that
it feels too easy.
What do you mean?
I just write down a new versionof myself, or write down a
different story about myself.
That is exactly what you do.
That's exactly where you start.
Really think of yourself a yearfrom now.
Who is that version of you?
Speaker 2 (00:21):
You're listening to the Paradigm you podcast.
You're about to starttransforming your life by
growing your mind and expandingyour paradigms.
Here we'll cover real lifetopics, just like the stuff
you'd share with a good friend.
This podcast will serve uptopics that weigh on our hearts
and keep us up at night, whetherit's navigating parenthood and
becoming an adult, or wayfinding, personal development, marriage
and money.
You, my friend, are in theright place.
(00:42):
I'm glad you're here.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
Welcome back to the Paradigm you podcast.
On this week's episode, we'recontinuing the series of how to
harness the power of yoursubconscious by strategic moves
so that you can get the lifethat you want.
Today, we're talking about thestories that we tell ourselves
on repeat, and I have thebrilliant Lisa Sarnowski joining
(01:04):
me today.
Lisa, how's it going?
I'm doing great.
April, good to be here.
Are we ready to talk aboutstories this week?
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Oh, such a great topic and pivotal if anyone
wants to actually make change intheir life.
Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
Absolutely Petable.
Yeah, oh, my goodness.
So you know, Lisa and I bothhad a whole bunch of different
experiences with regards tostories, but we decided that
this is a topic that we want totalk about, because the stories
that we tell ourselves on aregular basis actually end up
creating the environment thatwe're living.
And if you are looking aroundyour environment, your life
(01:40):
right now, and there's some areathat you're like hold on, this
is not what I agree to.
This is not in alignment withwhere I want my life to be.
That means that there's some,I'd say, dissonance between what
you want and what you have asfar as the stories that are on
repeat in your head.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Yeah, absolutely, and you know those stories.
Our brain can't decipherbetween true and false.
So for anyone telling yourselfa story is just going to
continue to cement your currentreality.
And this is where it becomesfun, because you realize that in
order to change your reality,you simply need a new story.
(02:20):
That's all.
It is Pretty cool.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
So cool, how neat you just changed the channel.
Yeah, you're like wait, I don'tlike the show that I'm watching
.
Let's move on to something thatI actually agree with a little
bit more.
So I have a couple of examplesthat I can think of off the top
of my head.
But, Lisa, how about you?
Do you have any examples whereyou're like oh yeah, this was a
story I had on repeat.
(02:44):
Maybe you, you know, picked itup at some point in your life
and you're like hold on.
At some point you're like youwoke up and you're like, nope, I
don't agree anymore.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
Multiple, right?
I mean, we're all on thisjourney, we're all rewriting our
stories as we go, but one ofthem early on for me as a coach
was that I'm a coach, I'm not abusiness owner, and that took a
while for me to unprogram andrealize that you can be both,
and what does that look likeunique to me?
(03:13):
Or another one I hear a lotfrom clients is I'm just I'm not
good at sales.
I'm not good at sales.
I'm not good at sales.
You know I'm sure you hear thistoo, and so, but honestly, one
of my biggest stories that I'vehad to reprogram is actually the
story that I'm not a goodstoryteller.
That one was mine for me.
I uncovered that one a fewyears ago and I thought wait a
(03:38):
second.
I think they are all hinging onthis one story.
I love that.
I never told you that.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
Yeah, tell me more about this.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
I am surrounded by incredibly creative people in my
life and I definitely put themon a pedestal regarding their
ability to tell stories.
What I didn't realize I wasdoing subconsciously is when I
would start to speak up aroundcertain people, they would stop
listening to me.
They would physically leave theroom, they wouldn't engage me
(04:12):
back and I misinterpreted thatas me not being an effective
storyteller, when the realitywas, what I was talking about
was completely over their head.
It just didn't land.
Certain people want to talkabout movies and actors and I'm
all in.
I will listen to the storythat's being presented to me,
(04:35):
but that's definitely not my jam.
I don't know celebrity namestends not to be where I am, but
when I would be talking aboutpersonal development or growing
a business, it was the samereaction back.
Almost it was like theycouldn't retain or understand
what I was talking about.
Does that make sense?
Speaker 3 (04:54):
It does.
It's so interesting that that'sthe story that came to you
because, interestingly, a lot ofour listeners are entrepreneurs
and I wonder if they havesimilar experiences.
Oh, I'm so curious now, okay,listeners, if that is a story or
something similar where you'relike, yeah, I just can't relate
to certain things because myhead is going in a different
(05:15):
direction, let us know.
I would love to hear more aboutthat.
So how did you overcome that,leis?
I started.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
First of all, I started re-imagining what an
effective storyteller was and Istarted writing more, and then I
started seeing that and ofcourse, when you are surrounded
by the people that you're meantto be surrounded with, that
conversation does land andpeople do resonate and they can
relate, and so it's equally justaudience adaptation as well in
(05:44):
my own life.
But there was a lot ofsubconscious reprogramming with
that.
So a lot of the work that we'retalking about in the series I
would take to my subconsciousreprogramming and use the visual
stimulus as well.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
Ooh, I love that.
That's so cool.
How about you?
Speaker 1 (06:01):
So what was a story that you rewrote?
Speaker 3 (06:04):
You know, I had two of them when I was thinking
about this episode that I'm likeoh, these are two that I think
were probably two of the biggerones that I've had to overcome
in the last few years.
The first one is that I can'tbe a parent a good parent and be
a business owner at the sametime.
Speaker 4 (06:20):
That was a story.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
Yeah, because I would look for proof.
So here's an interesting littleside note with regards to the
power of your subconscious whenyou start to believe a story and
you believe it to be true, thenall of a sudden you have all
these little antennas that goout and they're looking for
proof to validate whatever storyyou have on repeat.
(06:41):
So I had a story that you knowwhat, if I was going to be an
entrepreneur and a businessowner, I couldn't also equally
be this awesome rockstar momthat I aspired to be, who was
present for things andvolunteering in kids classrooms
and helping with homework andactually keeping my finger on
the pulse of what was happeningwith my children.
(07:02):
And so when I realized thatthat was something that I didn't
agree with and, equally, that'snot what I wanted.
So that's the key piece.
It's something that you have to.
If you disagree with it, that'sone thing, but if you're like,
wait, that's not what I want.
If I want both and I did Iwanted to be a successful
(07:22):
entrepreneur who was able tolean into my creativity and make
an impact in the ways that I'mmeant to make an impact, but
equally, I wanted to be thisamazing parent who could be
present and engaged with mychildren and I had this story
that was deeply ingrained, thatnope, you had to pick one or the
other.
And so once I decided that Iwanted to rewrite that story and
(07:42):
change that channel, forexample, then I started using
some of the different tools thatare available to you to
reprogram the subconscious andsay you know what, I'm gonna
rewrite my story and this is howI decide that it's going to
live and I'm gonna play it out.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
So cool.
How do you find you know whereare you at now with that story?
Oh, I'm so glad you asked.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
You know, I think, on a daily basis.
I think that it still bubblesup from time to time, but
equally, I feel like I'm armedwith the tools and the belief
system now that, no, I can haveboth and I get to choose how I
show up each day, and there maybe things or times where I drop
(08:26):
the ball in one area or theother, but it's also what is the
story when I do drop the ball,if you know, for example, if I
didn't get back to a parent tocoordinate a playdate for my
toddler quick enough, ooh, Icould be like oh, there's an
inadequacy there, or I'm theslacker, or I could just be like
you know what I'm busy and I'mgoing to show up the best I can
(08:47):
when I can.
And equally, I have to be okaywith sometimes just, you know,
not getting back to those textmessages to coordinate that
playdate right away.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
Yes, awesome, oh, that's so great.
I'm loving the new reframe andI do think a lot of listeners
can can relate to that, becauseyou know, working with women
entrepreneurs that's part of thejourney is how do we become the
identity that we want and bethe business owner and be the
mother that we desire?
You know, that's that is.
(09:17):
That's a good, a good storythat you've retold.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
Oh it's a work in progress, like we all are
working on, but you know, thereason that we decided that
stories was so important wasbecause a lot of us have these
stories on repeat.
It's almost like a constantloop, that's like playing almost
in this, like background noise,and what I want to want our
(09:41):
listeners to understand is thatyou get to change that and you
can stop that loop if it's notsomething that's in alignment
with where you want to go.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
Yeah, and it's such a powerful tool.
We think sometimes you know, inthis work and on the journey,
I've just seen that it feels tooeasy.
What do you mean?
I just write down a new, writedown a new version of myself, or
write down a different storyabout myself.
That is exactly what you do.
That's exactly where you startis really think of yourself a
(10:10):
year from now.
Who is that version of you?
Write it out in detail.
What does that look like?
If you're a business owner,what are you doing?
What are you not doing?
What are you passing off?
What are you?
You know, where is this growing?
If you are a mother as well,what does that look like?
Or if you're partnered, you getto decide what your life looks
like, and really that in and ofitself is a story that we don't
(10:34):
decide, that we are simply thevictim of whatever is around us,
and so you're alreadyreprogramming that and really
embodying this idea that I am incontrol of my future.
It is up to me to decide andchoose.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
Ooh, I just got goosebumps.
I did Good stuff, it is goodstuff.
It's so exciting and you know,as women entrepreneurs, I don't
think a whole lot of people aretalking to us about that.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
No, I think it gets seen sometimes a little bit too
softly like oh, that's just alittle bit of woo, woo stuff,
that's not actually what youneed.
When really you know the coreof these stories, what you'll
start to understand and unpackfor yourself.
And we're not going to we don'thave time to go into this too
much, but I do want to plant theseed of this idea of secondary
(11:25):
gains, because the reason you'restaying in your current story
loop is because it somehowserves you.
So let me give you a quickexample of this.
It's like someone whoaccidentally injures themselves
and then they have to take timeoff work.
They have their family takecare of them and they get a lot
(11:48):
of attention.
So secondary gains sometimesexist in our world.
They can both help and hurt us.
So in this example, gettinghurt gets you the outcome you
want.
You want attention, you wanttime with family, you want time
off work.
However, it also hurts youbecause you're getting that
outcome not in a way that youactually want.
So as you start rewriting yourstory, what you're going to
(12:10):
realize and unpack a bit isthere have been some benefits
for you to stay safe in this oldstory loop and this old story
in these old paradigms.
Speaker 3 (12:21):
Oh, I had to work through some of that, Lisa.
Uh-huh, Lots of it.
I'm still working through itBecause once you start shedding
that light on ooh, what is thesecondary gain?
Yeah, and why am I?
Maybe playing small?
Or perhaps, you know, for abusiness owner who maybe is
feeling like man, I just I can'tseem to get ahead.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Yes, or why am I not speaking up more?
Why am I not actually tellinglisteners exactly what I think
and feel?
Right, I mean, there's, there's.
This can go a lot of differentways within the business world.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
Oh, I've had to work through a lot of this and it
doesn't feel great.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Let's just call that out and be like oh, and it
shouldn't it almost shouldn'tfeel great because it's new
right and we forget that, likewe got so great at making
ourselves comfortable that weforget what that discomfort
feels like.
So if it feels uncomfortable,congratulations You're well in
the way You're winning.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
Exactly, you're doing the work.
You know what, lisa?
You just touched on a reallyimportant piece that I want to
make sure that we just pause andcamp out for a second, which is
if it doesn't feel comfortable.
That means that you're movingbeyond that comfort level and
your subconscious is reallybuilt to keep you comfortable
and feeling safe.
(13:40):
Yeah, it's going to continue toserve up, as we've talked about
on previous episodes.
It's going to continue to serveup that 95% of your daily
actions and beliefs andbehaviors, because that's what
it believes is your, is what youneed.
So when you start fucking thesystem, yeah, and it's.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
It's what we've conditioned it to believe.
Right, like, please keep me inthis loop, because this is what
I do, this is my routine, thisis what keeps me safe, and when
you start working against that,it's like wait a second, you
program me one way.
You know it's exciting tounwind that.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:20):
So you know, to kind of put a bow on this and tie
this all together, each of ushas stories that we've signed up
and allowed to run kind ofthrough our subconscious, in the
background of our minds, almoston autopilot.
And Lisa and I are here todayto challenge you to to look at
(14:40):
those stories and ask yourselfdo I believe these stories to be
true?
Mm, hmm, Do I agree with thesestories and am I willing to
continue living from that place,or do I want to change the
script?
Do I want to change the storiesof how I believe in myself,
what I believe is possible,where I want to go?
(15:01):
This is truly shifting yourparadigm at like a basic level.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Yeah, but a foundational one, an absolutely
critical and foundational level,because you change your story,
you change your life.
So I absolutely agree, April.
I think if, if listeners, ifyou can work through those
questions that April posed andthen allow yourself space and
time to rewrite your story andstart working from that place, a
(15:31):
lot of magic will unfold very,very quickly, Yep absolutely.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
But before you can do that, you need to decide what
are the stories that you'rewilling to keep and what are the
stories that you want torelease.
And, equally, what is thatsecondary gain that Lisa talked
about that you're like, oh okay,now I realize this.
Do I want to continue operatingfrom that lens or is that
something that's keeping mefeeling stuck?
And once you have those answers, then you start using the tools
(16:01):
that we're going to continuegiving you to apply that
subconscious reprogramming tochange those stories.
But you can't change thestories through subconscious
reprogramming until you actuallyknow which ones you want to
release and change.
That's why we're calling lightto that today, because we want
to call out those stories that alot of us don't even realize
our stories.
All right, lisa, do you haveanything else that you want to
add?
Speaker 1 (16:21):
I would just love the listeners to know that we are
enjoying the series, and wewould love to hear from you what
your current stories are andhow we can support you through
them.
So feel free to drop us a noteand let us know.
Speaker 3 (16:33):
Yeah, and we have a really exciting topic that we're
going to be talking about nextweek.
That starts to loop all of thistogether, because you might be
at this point where you're likehold up.
Now I've just realized thatI've been met with resistance in
these areas.
Now I understand these storiesthat I need to change.
Now I understand that what'spossible and how I can change
some of these things.
What's the next step and how doI start bringing this all
(16:55):
together?
And we will be continuing toguide you through that for the
next couple of weeks in thisseries.
Until then, cheers to GoodKarma.
It is closing time.
Speaker 4 (17:06):
Thank you for listening to this entire podcast
.
I hope this episode has leftyou feeling curious and inspired
.
This podcast is intended tocreate expansion in your life
through unique stories andshared experiences, and if you
enjoyed today's episode, I havea request.
I'd like to ask you to sharethis podcast with your friends
and family.
(17:27):
I bet they'd enjoy it just asmuch as you have.
And, if you found value, pleaseshare this on your social media
outlets.
That is Good Karma in action.
My friends, all right, it isnow closing time.
Cheers to Good Karma and thepower to choose joy.
Speaker 5 (17:45):
If you like this, tell your friends.
Speaker 4 (17:49):
Stay tuned for the end because we have outtakes.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
And now for the outtakes.
And now for the outtakes.
Speaker 3 (17:57):
Hold on, I'm totally using this as outtake.
Go for it.
Speaker 5 (18:04):
Oh, that was fun, I got tongue-tied.
Hey, you've been listening.
Test Test one, two, three, four.
Speaker 3 (18:13):
Okay, Now say hey, welcome to the podcast.
Speaker 5 (18:17):
Hey, welcome to the podcast.
You're really great.
Everyone, Everyone that'slistening to this podcast, even
if they don't even hear the rest, even if they only can listen
to a part of it because of ascreaming baby You're all really
awesome.
Speaker 4 (18:33):
Yeah, thanks for listening, bye, bye.
Speaker 5 (18:35):
Bye, over and out.
Thanks for listening.
Popular Podcasts
United States of Kennedy
United States of Kennedy is a podcast about our cultural fascination with the Kennedy dynasty. Every week, hosts Lyra Smith and George Civeris go into one aspect of the Kennedy story.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com