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September 12, 2024 • 40 mins

Tina leads the episode and all hell breaks loose. Literally! She starts our cast on a Choose Your Own Adventure type of journey where zombies have invaded the neighborhood, and all they have to support their survival through this arduous path is their crafting tools, notions, and yarns! The cast quickly want to establish environment parameters like it's Dungeons and Dragons, and Tina quickly comes up with rules and regulations. First thing, Jess forgets to take out the trash (again!), and zombies are coming up the street. Meg starts tying the door with yarn. Drea practices her stabbing techniques. It goes all downhill from there. The entire episode is a lot of silliness before our huge 100th episode bonanza; we hope you enjoy the journey with us for a casual, knitting with zombies episode!

Find out more about the podcast as well as our cast Meg, Drea, Tina, and Jess at our website pardonmystash.com. Leave us a comment on your thoughts on our episode blog posts, or through our social media accounts!

This episode was sponsored by Jimmy Beans Wool found at jimmybeanswool.com.

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
I'm Drea.

(00:01):
I'm Meg.
I'm Tina.
And I'm Jess.
And this is Pardon My Stash.
Welcome to Pardon My Stash,
a podcast about knitting within the fiber arts
and how awesome it is.
Yeah!
All right, now that we've settled down a little bit.

(00:22):
Have we?
Have we?
Have we?
That's a big ask.
I'm sorry, guys.
I'm hosting, so that means we're not gonna take
anything serious.
I like that though.
Before we get into today's topic,
let's find out what everybody's working on this week.
Drea!
Absolutely nothing.

(00:43):
Because!
I finished my project!
Woo!
I actually have two wins, so we'll start with this one.
Okay.
I did finish the French Can Can by Mademoiselle C.
I used Madeline Tosh DK for the body in Home Means Nevada.

(01:04):
And the border was Mad Tosh Vintage in bourbon rye.
I love the way that this came out.
The colors are beautiful.
The cables are, as Meg said to me earlier, super defined.
It's very squishy.
Not only did I finish this, I did weave in all of my ends.
Whoa!

(01:25):
I know.
Like immediately.
Whoa!
Yeah, immediately.
Absolutely.
Immediately.
You know what's great?
We have a matchy project only mine's jellyfish.
It's true.
Oh my God, it is true.
It's the same colors.
Wait, so you're saying while she's wearing that,
she can hold a jellyfish?
Yeah, and they match.
Actually, I've got something for this.

(01:47):
Okay.
This clues into part two.
Part two.
Part two.
I actually blocked and I photographed the arachnid shawl.
Whoa!
I'm very proud of myself because blocking is hard,
but it did come out beautifully.
And not only did I block it, I did photograph it.

(02:09):
And I have found the perfect model
for all of my knits moving forward.
If you follow me on Instagram,
you know that Frank is my new model.
He takes a great photo.
Congratulations, Frank.
Oh my God.
He took such good photos.
What a job promotion for Frank.
I know.
And you know what?

(02:29):
He's gonna wear this one after I block it.
It's gonna look good.
Oh, it's gonna look so good.
And you know what?
If you do want him to hold the jellyfish
and we can get a two-fer photo.
Oh man.
Can you imagine how good that photo is going to be
of him wearing this shawl
and holding a matching jellyfish?
Oh my God.
It's like blowing my mind just thinking about it.

(02:50):
Yeah.
I am so stoked.
Please make the magic happen.
I'm going to.
Frank doesn't know it yet, but man.
Frank, hold this.
Please let's not tell him until he's actually
wearing the shawl and then be like,
hold this. Hold on.
Yes.
Please hold this.
It matches.
That's my plan.
I don't think that he listens every week.
So, strong possibility.

(03:14):
I love it.
Be like, but Frank, how else are people going to know
the plenty of uses of this yarn?
This is a really good point.
The versatility.
It is versatile.
That was the mood.
It's going to be so good.
So yes, I am working on nothing
because I finished everything.
I mean, that's a fantastic update over there.
I know.
I'm very stoked, especially because like the last few times

(03:37):
I'm just like,
mm, ho hum, slugging away.
But you did it.
I did do it.
I'm very much in the, in the vein of like doing it
these days.
Good.
Thank you.
Meg.
Oh.
No.
That's one way to transition.

(03:58):
I've been, so I can't say,
I did finish the hat I was working on in our last episode.
Oh, I loved that.
Thank you.
Mary looks like fall.
Immediately.
Of course.
Like literally the minute that it came off the blocking rack,
she was like, I had a hat.
And this morning Jess sent a picture
of her getting dressed for school,

(04:18):
like all dressed in her jeans and her t-shirt
and this hat that in no way matched the rest of it.
But it looked so good.
She made it work.
I was happy I finished the Sparanzabini.
It's blocked.
I like it.
I probably will never wear it
because my kid's gonna wear it.
But at least it's getting worn.
It's getting, and that's fine.
That's fine.

(04:39):
Ocean Stones has kind of been in a timeout for,
not because I'm not enjoying it,
but just because I have had,
it's the second week of school.
I have very little wherewithal to do anything.
Congratulations.
No, it's not done yet, man.
But you got through the first week-ish?
Yeah.
Yeah, week-ish.
That counts, that counts.
Yeah.
So if I get like a row done every night,

(05:01):
I consider that a win because generally I'm home
and I'm too tired to do anything.
That one's in timeout right now.
I'm also crocheting squares again, don't ask.
And I am working at this moment in time
on my Franken sweater,
which had been put down for a while
while I was trying to crank out that beanie.
Believe it or not, I'm getting close
to the second yoke increase.

(05:23):
I'm getting there.
So I'm working on it in Critical Hit Dyes Ranger
with, in the colorways, Daylight.
And this one right now is Daylight and Imbulk held double.
And eventually I'll drop Daylight
and I'll just do two Imbulk and just keep going.
I've got a fade idea going on.
So we'll see if this thing ever sees the light of day.

(05:44):
But right now it's a really good project
to just knit round and round
when I have got no capacity to do anything else.
Considering your workload, I think that's a good update too.
I started my own school last week too.
Like my own classes for me.
And no.
Well, we'll give Mega Break and check in with Jess.

(06:07):
So I am still working on the Enchantment shawl
by Susanna Icy.
I'm onto the lace part.
I finished the beaded top part
and now I'm at the beaded lace part and it's going.
I feel like I'm gonna be playing Yarn Chicken at some point
but I'm not sure yet.
So we'll see.

(06:27):
The nice thing about playing Yarn Chicken
with your own yarn is you can just make more.
The great thing about playing Yarn Chicken with this yarn
is that it's the shadow of Erin gradient
which means the end of it is just white.
So I don't have to dye anything.
I can just add that in there.
So that's a plus.
I still have a couple projects I need to block

(06:51):
in the wings right now.
Actually they're both pretty much the same project,
just different sizes.
I have the I Am Dragon 2 and the I Am Dragon.
Is it revamp or?
It's remix.
Both of those are done.
They need to be blocked but they need to be steam blocked
and the wherewithal for that right now.

(07:12):
She finished I Am Dragon 2 a year ago.
So when we say things have needed to be blocked,
they've been needed to be blocked for a while.
Well to be fair for both of those as well,
I need to get the clips that I have to add on to them as well
and I'm being lazy about that too because.
That's a lot to do though.
As so many things and I have to order and buy.
That's too many things.

(07:32):
It's a lot.
So they're sitting there, they're done.
Put some things back.
They're nice.
I also have that jellyfish that I started
but then I got distracted by a beaded shawl.
So the jellyfish is mostly done.
It's got baubles.
So that's waiting while I do beads instead.
Nice.
Yeah, jellyfish.
Jellyfishes.

(07:53):
Jellyfishes.
Tina, what you doing?
Well, I kind of have good news too
and I think Jess's is good news too.
I think everybody's got good news.
We all have good news today.
I'm excited for your good news.
Yeah, so as you, as the folks here at this table can see,
I have a project.
You do?
I have a pattern.
I'm excited for you.

(08:14):
And do you even have a little cast on?
I have a what?
Cast on.
A little cast on.
Oh, I do.
I'm sorry.
I don't know why I didn't hear that, but I just didn't.
Okay, so yes, I do have a cast on.
You got a cast on.
And yeah, and I knit a little cast on.
So that's a win for me because I haven't really done that.
That's super.

(08:34):
And.
What are you making?
What is it?
Yeah, so I haven't done these in a while.
So I'm a little rusty
because I also like trying to refigure out how to knit
after two months of not knitting has been a challenge.
The thing about riding a bike, they never tell you
that you still kind of sit there looking at the pedals
for a little bit before you remember.
Let's see.

(08:54):
Let's see.
So you guys are good.
The reason why I saved this is
because you guys are gonna laugh at me.
So I decided for my first project back
that I'm gonna do a test knit.
Oh my God.
Oh no.
We're all.
What is it?
That's a lot of pressure.
What did you do?
So I figured if I gave myself a deadline, a hard deadline

(09:15):
I would finish it.
Like, you know, it would make me stay on the needles
and not just go, I can't do this.
And you haven't done one in a while.
I haven't done it in a while.
It's been a couple of years now.
So, okay.
So this one is called slip on your shoulder.
And it is by blame the knots who I started following
because they did a YouTube video at some point
about part of my stash.

(09:35):
They had talked about us.
And so I followed them and they put out a testing call
and they needed a lady with some assets.
And I said, I have that.
I have those.
I have those.
So yeah, so that's the pattern I am doing.
Okay.
And so I'm casting on now

(09:56):
because I told myself I would cast on now.
It's not due until like late mid October.
Well, that's good.
So I have plenty of time.
And it is a top, but it's short sleeve
and it is a little cropped.
And yeah, I think I have plenty of time.
I think I'm fine.
So the color ways that I am using,

(10:18):
I feel like I haven't done this in such a long time.
I feel silly.
I am using critical hit dyes in Druid DK.
And I'm using the color ways Thunderwave
and Tequila Sunrise.
And how I'm going to make that work, let me tell you.
So I decided that I'm going to do Thunderwave on the sleeves
because the sleeves have a detail on them

(10:42):
that I want to be able to see.
And I thought Tequila, yeah, it's going to be too busy.
So I was like, I'm going to do Thunderwave on the sleeves.
And then I'm going to do a fade out of the variegated
into the solid, it back into the variegated on the body.
That'll be good.
That'll look really nice.
And that is what I'm going to do.
And then I'll probably do the, there is tubular on this.

(11:05):
And I'm going to do the tubular for the collar
and the body and the hem in the Tequila Sunrise.
And then I'll do the sleeve in the Thunderwave
since it's just soft.
That sounds awesome.
So yeah.
Well, I'm excited for you.
Yeah, I'm excited to see it.
That's my plan.
Yeah, I thought about it the other day.

(11:27):
And I always said I would wait for it
to kind of come to me,
but I had been talking with someone else.
I can't remember off the top of my head
who I was talking with,
but I was mentioning that my dad was somebody
who did not like to dwell.
He just didn't like to sit and like, woe is me.

(11:48):
It's true.
He just really didn't like that to the point
that he was like that about his cancer
and about everything.
So I was just like, okay, so I know I'm sad
and I can continue to be sad,
but also my dad would not want me
to stop doing things that I like
because I'm sad about him.
So I will try and do something fun and different

(12:12):
to just kind of reignite my interest and go that way.
So I always liked to test knit.
So I'm like, let me try to do a test knit
that I think will be reasonable to meet.
Well, and when you really felt called to you too,
which is also great.
Yeah, I do like the design a lot.
It has a really pretty, you can't see it
because I did like my printer has like a toner thing.

(12:36):
Oh, it's doing the thing.
But it has this like really pretty texture
like along the shoulder, like up and down the sleeve.
It's really cool.
Oh, that's fun.
I can't wait to see it.
Yeah, it's gonna look so good.
I'm excited.
So shout out to Blame the Knots.
Thanks you for accepting me.
I hope you don't find out that this is my first test knit
in a long time.
But I, yeah, no, I've done it.

(12:57):
I've just, you know, it's a little rusty right now,
but I think it'll be a good get back
into the saddle kind of project.
So.
Yeah.
So as you may or may not know,
we are coming up soon to our hundredth episode
and Dreya last time spoke about how we are doing a giveaway.

(13:17):
So if you are not aware of our giveaway,
if you go to our website,
we have a big button on our homepage that says,
enter the giveaway.
So in honor of our hundredth episode,
we will be giving away two amazing prizes
courtesy of Jimmy Beans Wool to celebrate.
The first prize will be five skeins of Yarn Citizen
Harmony Fingering Yarn in Driftwood

(13:39):
and a Deli-Q Makers Mesh Tote Bag in Teal.
So if you'd like to win either of these fantastic prizes,
all you have to do is fill out a free entry form below.
So if whether you've started listening to us just now
on this episode today, or you've been since the beginning,
you can enter to win.

(13:59):
We need some information from you,
ideally information that would let us send these things.
See.
So be sure to make sure you enter our giveaway.
If you are interested in Madeleine Tosh yarns,
DK or Vintage, you can find those
from our wonderful sponsor, Jimmy Beans Wool

(14:20):
at jimmybeanswool.com.
And be sure to check out our website, partofmystash.com
for more information as well as pictures
regarding our current projects, patterns and yarns.
So this week we are being absolutely silly
and it's already started because
no one can contain themselves right now.

(14:42):
But as per usual, I'm not doing anything serious.
So the episode topic for today is going to be
the zombies, they're coming.
Are they?
The apocalypse has come.
Oh God.
And I'm not prepared.
October is almost here.
All we have with us.
Could be breakouts.
Are our tools here for our knitting supplies.

(15:03):
We're not gonna worry about children
or significant others at the moment.
We're just going to, they're fine.
It's got real dark.
They're fine.
Real fast.
They're in the helicopter and they are already going
to the safe zone.
And they left us behind.
They left us behind.
Yeah, we were at a fiber fest or something.
No, we're recording the episode and you know,
Frank and Pat dropped by and picked up Mariel

(15:23):
and we're all good.
We're not, but not us.
We're like, no, go, we gotta finish this.
No, that's gonna come out right.
Okay, let me try that again.
It's got real dark.
All right, so in this alternative reality
where we just have to worry about the four of us
and not the other people.
Yeah.
That's fair.

(15:43):
Just the four of, no, just to make it less complicated.
Just to make it less complex.
Just us.
Just us four.
Okay.
And the zombies, they're coming.
Kids, SOS and pets are all fine.
They're all fine.
We're just gonna assume they're fine.
Okay.
So the zombies are coming.
The apocalypse is nigh.
And now we have all we have to save ourselves
are our knitting, crochet and other fiber art supplies.

(16:08):
So whatever is in this bag.
Yes.
Let's, you know what?
Wait, wait, wait.
Is it literally just our knitting bags?
No, cause you guys don't have,
you don't have huge bags on you.
Well, I never have a, listen.
Okay, but if we're here, can we use then,
like what is in the space?
Are we doing parameters of the world before we start?
This sounds very DND right now.
It really does.
It really does.

(16:28):
I'm not DMing someone else.
Cause if we're here.
No, but I'm DMing.
I'm DMing.
I will DM this world.
I got markers.
I'd say you got some markers.
That's important.
They're metallic.
And they're permanent.
Oh, good.
We can draw on the zombies.
Okay, so.
This is off to a good start.
But if we say it's this house,
we've actually do have, have like a bunch of stuff.
I will say that you have everything

(16:51):
that is fiber arts related at your disposal.
That you already own.
I'm just gonna go with what everybody own.
That you already own.
So I'm just picturing you.
Like, so let me, let me just describe this.
We have a bag of holding.
We have a bag of holding and it's an infinite bag.
So if you not, like if you are hiking in the White Mountains

(17:11):
and there are some of the huts,
they have the Hut Runners,
which are these incredibly young
and in very, very amazing shape people
who basically intern and they schlep all of the gear
to and from the huts.
And they have these massive frames on their backs
in which they carry all of the food and supplies

(17:33):
up these incredibly steep mountains.
And now I'm just picturing you with one of those big,
like wooden frames and your whole stash,
like on your back as we deal with the zombie apocalypse.
I'm picturing Adol from, I don't know.
Yeah.
Carrying your whole.
Who can put it down and it turns into a stash.
Not realistic, cause it would not fit.
So we're gonna do this.
So we're just going to pretend we have an endless bag

(17:57):
of holding all of our knitting and fiber arts.
So everything is just in there.
Okay, that's fair.
Okay, so.
I am going to live dangerously
and just go by whatever I actually carry.
Okay, that's fair.
If you want to go with that.
I will live dangerously.
Ooh, okay.
I could do that because if I bring my main knitting bag
when I'm going someplace, the things that I put in there.

(18:18):
There could be anything in there.
It's true.
Legitimately.
So I'm gonna try my hand at DMing.
So I hope I don't embarrass you too much, Meg.
Why would it embarrass me?
Cause you're way better at this than I am.
Oh, probably not.
So, okay.
So.
Set the scene.
The scene is we just finished recording our podcast episode
and we hear groans coming out.

(18:40):
I don't like that.
Down the road.
And you know, it's not the dog next door.
It's definitely something else.
And yeah, let's start there.
We are at the table.
You have only the things that are knitting and fiber
and crochet related at your disposal.
Nothing else in the house.

(19:00):
So what do you do?
I feel like knitting needles,
lending themselves to pointy things.
But the thing is when all of us knit with circulars.
So we would have to get very close to actually.
And also my points on these are blunt.

(19:22):
Okay.
So unless I'm literally getting into someone's eyes.
So we need the lace needles.
Lace points, yo!
Lace points.
But again, again, you would have to get so close
in order to do damage.
And I don't want to get within arm's reach.
First of all, you don't even know what those groans are.
That's true.
You haven't even discovered that.
What kind, what kind?
Maybe you should go discover the groans.
I don't do that.

(19:43):
You don't go look at the groans?
No.
You're the person the movie goes from the window.
No, maybe.
Not at all.
Yeah, from a window.
I may look.
This is not gonna go very far
because we're not the stupid people in movies
that go towards the groans.
We're gonna be like, oh, there's groans outside.
Let's make sure all the doors are locked.
Yeah, like, mm-hmm.
And then call 9-1-1.
Why am I saying I'm here?
It's just noises.

(20:04):
To get the story hook,
I'll say, I'll decide that at this late hour,
I forgot to check the mail.
Sure, sure.
It's way more, way, way more realistic
to say you forgot to take the garbage out.
Yeah, that's actually true.
Way more realistic.
Because I have done that.
Okay, so Jess, you have determined
that you did not take the trash out.

(20:24):
Yeah, so I gotta bring that to the curb.
Okay, so off to the curb you go.
And I notice, I hear the groaning.
Ooh.
Okay, and I look up the road and.
Ooh.
So sorry.
I'm assuming I see just, you know,
we don't normally get drunk people on this road.
So I've watched these movies and played these video games

(20:49):
and I feel like I wanna get back inside.
Okay, you have every right to do so.
As you get back inside,
you turn around and take one last look
and you notice that he's not alone.
Ooh, lots, lots.
Okay, so I would come inside and be like, you guys.
Guys, there's some creepy people down the street right now.

(21:12):
It is not Halloween yet.
Oh, that sounds terrifying.
We live in a residential neighborhood.
Do you think they're drunk?
No.
No, no, no, no, no.
Are they drunkies?
No, no, no.
Closest bar is a little,
it's a bit of a distance from here.
They'd have to walk pretty far and get pretty lost.
You know, all them side streets.

(21:34):
All of a sudden you hear a rattle at the front door.
Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch.
Weee.
Weee.
Weee.
The fact that these zombies got up our driveway.
My zombies are grossed out.
My zombies are grossed out.
Um, well, I suppose you could take, I don't know.

(21:57):
I don't know if it would work very well.
I was gonna say you could take the yarn
and use it to reinforce the door, like tie up that lock.
Oh, okay.
Make sure, make sure, yeah.
I don't know.
I feel like, I mean, I've got some fingering weight.
I feel like that's gonna snap pretty fast.
Need some bulky.
I feel like every time people bring up like,
oh, this isn't a post-apocalyptic life skill.

(22:19):
They're always talking about like knitting clothes
in the apocalypse.
No, sir.
All right.
And that's gonna take a really long, like the way I knit.
So I have some tips for some interchangeables.
Okay.
Okay.
Here.
Okay.
They are size sixes.
Okay.
They're not connected to anything,
but we could use these to like jam the lock.

(22:41):
Could jam the lock.
Okay.
Yeah, you could.
Jam the lock.
All right, so you jam the lock with some size sixes.
We've tied it.
We've tied it to the doorknob with what type of yarn?
What type of yarn?
Fingering weight.
This is fingering weight.
I've got one of them.
It is actually, I don't know why I have it
inside my Notion bag right now,
but I have one of those three attached latch hooky thingies
that make an I-cord.
So you could like whip up a stronger fingering weight.

(23:03):
Oh, there you go.
I-cord.
Use that to whip up an I-cord.
Less likely to snap.
While you're whipping up a stronger I-cord,
all of a sudden the bangs get louder
and you notice by looking out the window
that there is at least a dozen figures groaning
and banging on your door.

(23:24):
Is this a TPK?
What is a TPK?
Total party kill.
I don't even know what that means.
We're all gonna die.
Yeah, you're all gonna die.
No.
Rocks fall, everyone dies.
We're now all gonna die.
No one's gonna die.
No one's gonna die.
Are they in the house yet?
They're not in the house yet.
Nope, nobody's in the house yet.
So the other thing, I mean,

(23:46):
I know we've got circular needles
you don't wanna get too close to,
but if you like, again, right now,
I've got a part of a shawl going on here.
It could make a decent sling.
Are you practicing your shiv-ing?
I got these little mini scissors
that fold up into themselves, but if you like...

(24:07):
I'm sorry, I just look over and you're like...
No, it could be good.
Like you can hold it between your fingers like this.
But you know, they do have a sharper point,
so if you hit them hard, and I mean,
a whole point, usually, I mean,
I'm assuming these are your normal zombies,
is you take out the brain and that's so, I mean...
Yeah, we're not doing running zombies

(24:27):
because if we did, we would all die.
Yeah, I don't run.
Immediately.
I'm not in that kind of shape.
None of us are running, so yeah,
that's, we're gonna try to give us a chance.
I'm just saying, there's the small scissors
if you aim with enough force in the brain.
It could work, it could work.
All right, so we've all decided our weapons.
I mean...
Somewhat.

(24:48):
I have a measuring tape.
And then you realize you forgot to close the garage door.
I don't know, I'm just throwing something out there.
That's not that far of a reach.
That happens at least once a week.
Okay, so you forgot to close the garage door
and you hear some groaning coming down from downstairs.
Oh, shoot.
So are they inside from downstairs?

(25:09):
So I'm gonna run up the stairs
and I'm gonna use my measuring tape to make a trip line.
Ooh, yeah.
Because they're not agile.
That's gonna trip them up a little bit.
Yep, yep, I like it.
They won't be able to get all the way up the stairs.
I have all these small metal stitch markers
and I can throw those down the stairs to impede their feet.
Oh, like ball bearings almost.
So did you throw them?

(25:30):
Yeah.
All right, there you go.
All right, all right.
They didn't like that.
You know, if they fall down, we can try and like.
He starts, you see one starting to try to attempt the stairs
but apparently he fails at stairs.
So he falls backwards and rolls back into the bottom.
How many did he take out?

(25:50):
There's no one behind him right now.
This is a lone soldier.
Lone soldier.
He has always had opportunities.
No, it's okay.
No, cause keep that because we're gonna have to.
He's starting to get shut the door.
I'm ready with my stabbing tools.
Well, you stab it.
Well, I shut the door.
Zombie on the bottom is figuring out how to get up.
All right.

(26:12):
Is that what you're doing?
I'm gonna shut the door and then I'll join you
with the lace. Where do you shit him?
As close to the face as I can
because I know that the smart thing to do
is to go through, is to like get the brain.
Okay, so you stab him in the eyeball.
Let's say that.
Okay, so you stab him in the eyeball.
He goes, and then he falls to the ground
and he goes, ah, then he's dead.

(26:33):
Yeah, these are weak zombies.
Listen, I'm trying to give us a chance
cause if these were any kind of zombies with powers,
we're dead.
Okay.
So he's gonna be, and he just dies on the floor.
So now you have the door in front of you.
All right. Still open.
No, yeah.
Oh, I close it.
Good job.

(26:54):
Congratulations.
I was closing it while he was shitting the zombie
in the face.
Okay, Shiv, Jess closes.
I'm a bad GM.
I already told you, I said GM.
Same thing, same difference.
Game master, game.
All right, so we've gotten that door shut
and the groans are now like half and half.

(27:15):
You see some that are trying to figure out
the garage situation, but because they're stupid zombies,
they really can't figure out the garage situation.
And they also are toppling on top of each other
because your stairs are really steep.
That's fair.
So they're having a hard time.
Having a hard time.
We should reinforce these doors.
Do we have anything to reinforce the doors with?

(27:36):
I have another tape measure.
All the tape measures.
There's definitely more yarn.
Let's just break out all the tape measures.
I have at least three balls of not using it.
I think if we have some super bulky,
we could knit a very sweet net.
No, I do not have that.
I have lots of bulky.
All right, let's do bulky.

(27:56):
We may have some super bulky.
We have to make the giant Blake
as a tablecloth to take him out.
It worked on Minidor.
It's not a zombie.
How are we gonna knit a net that fast though?
That's a lot.
I have like a quarter of a ball of yarn.
We're a big red.
Inside of a plastic baggie.
Yeah, big red didn't make it.
Oh man.

(28:20):
I'm dying because all I've, you know,
you know what this has just come to my head right now
is that we would all just die
because we would have nothing.
We would have like.
You know what I think my favorite part of all this is?
Is you're like, yes, we have the apocalypse
and all we have are knitting tools,
but we're in our house.
We're in a house.
That's what I'm saying.

(28:41):
We've got all the house stuff.
No.
So you're telling me that as zombies show up,
all of our belongings disappear at the same time
except our knitting stuff.
But what about all the knitting stuff
that seems really unfair?
Because there is still a lot of knitted stuff in the house.
There is a pretzel.
We could definitely use that as a distraction.
I have a pretzel ornament in my knitting bag.
Why not?

(29:01):
I know.
Why not?
Why not?
I mean.
It's pretty sturdy though.
I thought I could like hook it at someone.
I feel like the moral of this entire story is,
oh my God, what is not in people's knitting bags?
What is not in their knitting bags?
I have some borbs.
I mean, they're kind of soft,
but I bet if you've been barred people with them,
it would at least cause some confusion.

(29:22):
Yeah, I've lost the plot.
I actually have just dying at the fact
that Dreya having a pretzel in her.
A pansexual pride sticker.
You know what that's gonna do.
You show the pride sticker to the zombies
and they go, oh, that's nice.
There you go.
They're nice zombies.
They're accepting.
I mean, I feel like this is like what, wow.

(29:43):
You think about it, the stuff you throw,
I have earbuds, one doesn't work, but they're in here.
I have an extra, pardon my stash,
fall 22 make along for the hat.
Okay.
Okay, hold on.
Metal crochet hook.
I feel like you could use that as a stamping tool.
You could, you could.

(30:05):
I've got a crap lot.
I could do darts with all my lace tip needles.
Okay, all right.
I got some pins.
I'm sure those would be pokey
if you put them on the floor, people step on them.
That's a good point.
If you pull off, we all have pins.
I have two nail files.
Two emery boards, yes.

(30:26):
Two emery boards that are actually no longer functional
because I use them and put them.
So we could like do a nice little whip
in the back of their head like that.
Yeah.
I've got two non-circulars right now,
just sitting there for, here's my.
So the circulars we could use as a choking method, right?

(30:47):
That's like a good thing.
Like pull the neck.
More darnable needles.
My God, how many needles do you have in there?
A lot, these are of double points.
A lot.
I thought I had a lot of needles.
And I've got my darning needles.
Jess is gonna stab a lot of zombies.
I'm gonna stab a lot of zombies.
In case we need a four inch ruler.

(31:09):
They just gotta.
Oh wait, I'm sorry, two.
Two inch.
Check her yarn weight.
You know.
Well now I know where all of the,
those are all double points.
Yeah, but I got some of your carbons.
Oh, they're my carbons.
It only took an apocalypse for you to find
all of the needles that are missing.
Yes.

(31:29):
Beads upon beads in case we need more.
Okay, can you just take a look?
Do you see all those beads?
Every time, we literally went to Joanne's the other day
and she was like, I might need more beads.
I'm like, you have bought so many beads in the last month.
But they were different colors.
Please stop buying beads.
There are so many beads in this house.
It's like the eyes from a few years ago,
only now it's the beads.
I lost those again.
Hold on.

(31:49):
Oh my God.
Okay, here's the extra.
The zombies hear Meg's argument
about Jess hoarding all the things.
And they go, maybe not this time.
They walk.
Come at me, brah.
And they walk away.
They take some steps back.
They hear Jess yelling about how she has.
Wait, wait, wait, here's some more.
She has too many eyes, but she lost the eyes.

(32:11):
You know, that's enough for them.
Yep.
Do you know what you're giving right now?
Do you know what you're giving?
You're giving Mrs. Potato Head at the end of Toy Story 2
where she's just putting things into the back
of her husband's back.
That's her nose.
That wasn't his back.
That was his booty.
So really.
Close enough.
The moral of the story is just have Jess start explaining

(32:33):
what's in her bag and all the zombies will go.
And that's, I mean. Wow.
I've also got my felt bucket like real close.
And that's got some real pointy needles,
but they break real easy.
They would hurt.
The zombies are gone.
They've given up.
They made a good choice.
We gotta go.
We gotta go.
They made a good choice.

(32:54):
Oh my God.
This is what happens when you've been knitting
or crocheting as long as we have.
Your bag just is a lawless wasteland.
Yeah.
I don't know where the pretzel came from.
Of stuff.
That's great.
You really don't remember where that came from at all.
Wow.
Like I have no idea how long it's been in here.

(33:15):
I mean, it's a knitting fight club bag.
So I couldn't have been carrying it around with me too long.
That's true.
Because I haven't had the bag that long.
I have a plastic gingerbread man in one of my other bags
that I'm pretty sure I got from the first craft fair
we ever did.
And somebody gave it to Mariel and she put it in my bag.

(33:36):
I have one too.
Oh, so it was the second craft fair.
Second craft fair, because you were sick for the first one.
Yeah.
And it's in my bag.
Yep.
Guys, I lost all my goats.
I'm sure it's fair.
The zombies are gone and we saved the day
by scaring them with all of these items.
Did we save the day or just ourselves?

(33:56):
Probably just ourselves.
Probably just ourselves,
because the zombies probably went to the next house.
I feel bad for them.
Yeah.
I don't know, they got a big dog next door that way.
There's literally dogs on all three sides of us.
So I feel like everybody else will be fine.
We're the only house that doesn't have dogs
in this general area.
So basically the zombies went, not this neighborhood,
just skedad.

(34:16):
The next one.
The next one.
Yeah.
But yeah.
I'm glad we went on this journey.
It felt very short.
It felt like it was just like a nice
what's in the bag kind of episode.
I like the what's in the bag.
In the most roundabout but interesting way possible.
No, no, no, zombie apocalypse is not about the bag.
I'm actually going to take these emery boards out

(34:38):
and put them in your garbage,
because I don't know why I keep putting them back
in my notions bag because.
Because you think I'm gonna put them in the garbage
when I next see a garbage.
Yeah. Yeah.
And then you put them away.
But then you don't.
Like I'm on the couch and I'm knitting.
So I guess I'm just gonna put it back in.
I should probably throw that out.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Wow. Yeah.

(34:59):
Oh, I also have this.
Is that a tag?
It's a tag for yarn.
And guess what yarn it is.
Jeans.
Jeans.
It's the jeans.
It's the jeans.
Yes.
For anybody who wanted to know,
the faded jeans yarn that I used for that.

(35:21):
Unfortunate shawl.
That was eaten by my cat.
Yes.
It is 65% super washed merino and 35% bamboo.
That's a really interesting composition.
Yeah.
Of yarn.
I've used that often.
Yeah.
And it was 1,120 yards.
Jeez.
It was a big one.

(35:42):
That's a hefty skein.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She was thick.
Well, to bring this all back,
somehow.
Can we?
No, we can't.
I feel like this episode really got away from us.
You know what though?
Zombies.
It.
What did you say?
I just said zombies.

(36:03):
You know what though?
I think that is proper fitting that we went completely
and lost the plot on episode 99.
I think, you know, that's fair.
You know what?
You know what guys?
How you can use a thousand double pointed needles
against zombies.
All right, listen up crafters.

(36:25):
The moral of today's story.
This is knitting boot camp.
Are we going to learn how to knit?
No.
You're going to learn how to trip some zombies.
They happen to come into your house.
Trip and mortally wound zombies.
So, yeah.
Did you like my stabbing noises today?
I did.
I did really enjoy them.

(36:47):
So on that note, I hope everybody enjoyed that.
I did.
One of my goats disappeared.
The zombies took my goat.
It's a point protector shaped like a goat.
They were both right here.
And now one of them is context.

(37:07):
Context is important.
Just throwing that out there.
Oh my God.
Episode 99.
Give or take.
Zombies?
We had a lot of really serious episodes.
But now you're going to be thinking about it.
It's all about balance.
Maybe now you'll pack important stuff

(37:29):
inside of your possible zombie apocalypse bag.
Or at least clean the garbage out.
You know what?
You'll put the garbage out on time.
No, she won't.
No, I won't.
She won't.
Nothing from this.
She will lie in bed until she hears it down the street.
That's true.
And then she will do a mad dash
to get it down to the curb.
That's true.
Every time.

(37:50):
Frank puts it out the night before.
Yeah, it doesn't happen in the zone.
The trash dash.
Shit.
The funny thing is she doesn't need to do it.
It legitimately happens every single Monday.
I even give myself a reminder the night before.
Doesn't happen.
I hope I'm helping somebody this night
to remember to put their trash out.

(38:11):
No.
No.
No.
Because you know, those really judgmental zombies
are not going to stay because they were just like,
nah man, nah man, not this house.
Not this house.
Not this house, man.
Tina, do you want to take us out?
Oops.
Thanks for listening.

(38:32):
We'll be off the air now.
No, just kidding.
That's it.
It kind of went off the block.
Just wing the sign out.
Wing the sign out.
Okay.
For additional content and opportunities to connect.
Wait, we're keeping this?
I don't know.
We can, I'm just saying.
I love how you're just like completely phoning it in.

(38:56):
You're like, so anyway.
You enjoyed yourself.
Come back next time for 100,000.
Come back for more.
Guys, guys, I just figured out this is going
to be our holiday episode.
You know, this is it.
This is it.
This is it.
I feel like that's fair.
I'm not going to do any bloopers.
This is the holiday.
This is the holiday episode.

(39:16):
Brought to you by Part of My Stash.
You're welcome.
Be sure to tune in next time for more
Left, Tears, and Dread.
Me.
Part of My Stash.
You know what?
It's a glass in this house.
No.
Oh no.

(39:37):
The beads.
How?
Why am I on the floor?
My feet are covered in beads.
Oh my God.
I heard it go.
Oh my God.
I really did.
Oh my God.
I don't even want to get up.
Don't move.
Jess, that's so many beads.

(40:00):
I hate you so much right now.
I hate you so much.
Oh my God.
And they're white.
You're never going to find them all.
Oh sure I will.
You're going to be looking,
you're going to be finding beads for years.
Trust me.
I'm aware.
It'll be fine.
At this point, I did cut the episode
because it was time to help Megan and Jess

(40:23):
get all the beads off the floor that Jess just dumped.
I hope you enjoyed this really silly episode
and we can't wait to celebrate 100 episodes with you
here at Part of My Stash.
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