74 – How I Stopped Being My Kids' Human ATM (And Started Teaching Money Skills)

Transform your back-to-school shopping from a budget-busting headache to an opportunity for teaching financial responsibility. I share how I went from spending $100 per child on school supplies to $50 while teaching my kids valuable money lessons in the process.

• Set a firm budget before looking at supply lists and commit to not exceeding it
• Give kids their budget in actual cash so they can physically see their spending limits
• Let them keep whatever they don't spend as an incentive to make smart choices
• Apply the same system to clothes shopping to extend the financial learning
• Even reluctant shoppers benefit from learning how to make purchasing decisions
• Generic supplies work just as well as fancy ones for academic success
• Teaching budgeting and financial trade-offs provides lifelong skills

Email me at [e-mail] or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com.

Have a blessed rest of your day!

Episode Transcript

Mary Eschen (00:05):
Welcome to Parenting Decoded, a podcast for
practical approaches toparenting.
I'm Mary Eschen.
Todaywe're diving into back-to-school
budgets.
And listen, I'm not here totell you to make your own glue
sticks or anything crazy likethat.
I'm here to talk about how Iwent from being a human ATM
machine.
I'm here to talk about how Iwent from being a human ATM

(00:28):
machine spending $100 per kid onsupplies to actually teaching
my children about money andspending way less in the process
.
If you're listening to thiswhile your kids are asking for
their third snack of the morning, buckle up.
We're going to make thispractical and quick.
Okay, confession time.
I used to be that mom.
You know the one, thehelicopter parent who saw the

(00:49):
teacher's supply list as apersonal challenge.
Not required, doesn't matter, Iwas going to support the school
and be the most prepared parentever.
Picture this me and my two boyswandering the aisles of Office
Depot with our carefully printedlists, new binders, fancy gel

(01:11):
pens, those lunch boxes thatcost more than my lunch,
standing in line with everyother parent in town.
All of us doing exactly thesame thing.
Then came the moment of truthat the register Yikes, $100 per
kid for school supplies.
And here's the kicker.
I'm loading all this brand newstuff into my car I'm thinking
about perfectly good binders andbackpacks and barely used

(01:31):
scissors sitting in our junkdrawer at home from last year.
Something had to change, notjust for my wallet, but because
I realized I wasn't teaching mykids anything except that mom
was a human ATM machine.
Sound familiar?
The next year I decided to trysomething different.

(01:52):
Instead of my brilliant buythem stuff, I was going to give
my kids a budget and let themfigure it out.
I'll be honest, I was nervous.
What if they made bad choices?
What if they didn't have whatthey needed?
What if other parents judgedour generic folders?
But here's what actuallyhappened my kids went from

(02:13):
spending without limits toactually understanding that
money doesn't grow on trees, andit happened in just one school
year.
So let me share the three-stepsystem that changed everything
for our family.
Step one set the number firstand stick to it.
Before you even look at thatsupply list, decide your budget.

(02:34):
For us, it went from $100 perkid down to $50.
Maybe yours is $25, maybe it's$75.
The magic isn't in the number.
It's in not budging fromwhatever you choose.
Step two make it visual withreal cash.
This is where it getsinteresting.
I gave each of my boys $50 inactual cash not a promise of

(02:59):
money, not a credit card realbills they could hold.
When my youngest wanted those$12 fancy scissors instead of
the $3 regular ones, he couldsee literally how much of his
budget that would eat upSuddenly.
He's doing math in the storeaisle.
Step three let them keep whatthey don't spend.

(03:20):
Here's the game changer.
I told them whatever theydidn't spend they could keep.
Want to use last year'sperfectly good backpack?
Great, that's $30.
Back in your pocket.
Backpacks were cheaper.
Then Found folders for 50 centsinstead of $3?
You just earned yourself $2.50.
My friend's daughter spent $15on a unicorn pencil case and

(03:43):
then realized she only had $35left of everything else in her
budget of $50.
Those generic folders suddenlylooked really appealing.
But here's what I love aboutthis system I'm not the bad guy
anymore.
I'm not saying no to fancystuff.
They get to decide what mattersmost to them and fill their

(04:05):
carts themselves.
Now let's be real.
This isn't always smoothsailing.
There are definitely some tearsin that first year, especially
when my younger son realized hecouldn't afford both the
light-up pencil case and thescented erasers.
But you know what he survivedand, more importantly, he
learned.
The next year both my boysstarted the conversation with

(04:30):
Mom.
I've been thinking about how tospend my supply money.
Smart, smart they use that word.
One thing I want to address,though, is clothes shopping.
If your kids need schoolclothes, use the same system.
Set a budget and stick to it.
I have a friend whosedaughter's in high school system
set a budget and stick to it.
I have a friend whosedaughter's in high school and

(04:50):
she discovered thrifting onceshe realized how much further
her clothing budget wouldstretch at second-hand stores.
And for those parents thinkingbut my kid doesn't care about
shopping, don't let them off thehook.
Learning to make purchasingdecisions is a life skill.
I took my reluctant shopper sonon a one-on-one mall adventure

(05:13):
and I got to watch him develophis opinions about fit and style
, and it was worth every minuteof it.
He didn't initially want to go,but he went and he learned
Bottom line.
Here's what I wish someone hadtold me earlier.
Your kids don't need thefanciest supplies to be
successful students.
Those $20 gel pens aren't goingto improve their grades, but

(05:36):
learning to budget, compareprices and make trade-offs those
skills will serve them for therest of their lives.
Setting a back-to-school budgetisn't about being cheap.
It's about being intentional.
It's teaching our kids thatmoney is finite.
Choices have consequences, andsometimes the generic crayon box

(05:59):
works just as well as the namebrand one.
That's it for today.
May your back-to-school befilled with just the right
amount of pencils and paper.
Until next time, keep decodingparenting one budget at a time.
Have a blessed rest of your day.