June 11, 2025 • 32 mins
Shannon shares a pivotal moment when she realized her son's autism was considered "severe" after he was excluded from a Disney on Ice event that his autism therapy group organized without inviting him.
• Communication strategies using Disney movie references help her son understand complex concepts like family members leaving
• Learning that her son requires multiple staff members for support at his therapy program
• The heartbreak of discovering her son wasn't invited to a Disney event because his "needs were too great"
• Fighting for inclusion and eventually attending the Disney on Ice show as a family
• Funny shopping adventures with her son, including his perfect comedic timing saying "I want to be happy because people are stupid"
• The hilarious struggle with a broken shopping cart and learning about boundaries
• Importance of proper nutrition before outings to help manage behaviors
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Hello and welcome to the Parenting Severe Autism
Podcast.
I am your host, ShannonChamberlin.
I'm so happy that you're herewith me today.
I want to make sure you knowhow to get in touch with me.
You can always support the showif any of these episodes have
touched you or made you feelseen or made you cry or anything
like that, and you want tosupport what I'm doing, To help
(00:39):
keep this podcast free foreveryone who is in our boat.
Small donations make a hugedifference and you can always
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That's probably the easiest wayto do it.
You can also check out my merchif you would like to have
(00:59):
something that gives you areminder, a physical reminder of
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Don't forget, I've gotscreaming pillows and coffee
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(01:19):
You should be able to accessthat through my Buzzsprout links
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I'm working on making it alittle easier to access, but
right now, if you go topsabuzzsproutcom, you can check
my links to support the show andyou'll be able to find my store
.
It's a spring store is what itsays.
I'm still working on being ableto make that a little easier to
(01:42):
access, but check it out.
If you'd like to support thepodcast, we would definitely
appreciate it, and the goal isto save up enough from your
donations to be able to helpanother severe autism family in
need.
So every little bit makes adifference.
Thank you so much for alwaysliking and sharing my podcast
episodes and my social mediaposts.
(02:04):
It really does help to grow thepodcast and that's what we need
right now.
My goal right now is to get athousand downloads a month, and
it's difficult because I am notallowed to advertise in the
severe autism groups on socialmedia.
Nobody knows about me in thosegroups.
I can't advertise as my page.
(02:24):
There's only one that allows meto be active.
Anything you can do to getthese episodes out there is
greatly appreciated and ofcourse, you'll always get a
shout out from me if you make adonation.
So, I just want to get into this.
.
.
It was obvious to me when I wasbringing our son to that
non-profit autism therapy placethat he may have been one of the
(02:46):
most severe in there, but evenat the time, you know, I didn't
know that there was severe.
I didn't realize that there wasa category.
I just I don't know.
We were just functioning andfiguring it out, you know.
But the more I was exposed toother people who were also
considered to have autism, themore I realized that my son had
(03:08):
a different kind of autism.
I think there were only two inthis teen group that he was in
that didn't really communicatemuch at all, but I still thought
the non-profit was a safe havenfor him.
The lady always told me when Iwould pick him up he is a lot.
Then she would say a lot forone mom to handle.
You know, like I said, I neverreally knew anything else.
(03:29):
I didn't know any better.
I didn't know anythingdifferent.
I just did this day in and dayout and I didn't realize he was
a lot until someone saidsomething.
And then, you know I think I'vementioned before that I kind of
wish I never heard that,because it made it a little
easier for me to once in a whilestart feeling a little sorry
for myself.
You know, like when you startfeeling stretched to the max and
(03:52):
then you realize you hear thatin the back of your mind "he's a
lot.
That's a lot for you, you know.
And the n.
.
.
it is a lot for me, poor me.
But there's really not a lot ofroom in the lifestyle for that
is there?
So you just suck it up and youkeep going.
But I always noticed that he hadtwo or three people working
with him at one time, sitting atthe table with him or tag
(04:12):
teaming him.
And I don't know, I thought.
.
.
you know it wasn't very busythere.
The kids were in and out atdifferent times and I don't know
, I thought that's what theywanted to do.
Ignorance is bliss, you know.
I didn't realize that heactually required two or three
people at one time.
All the time I thought thatthey just liked him, I thought
(04:34):
they thought he was fun or theyhad different things to offer,
bring to the table.
So they all worked with him atone time to see what was working
and what he would respond to.
But I don't think that was thecase.
I did always - his dad and Ialways tell everyone when we
introduce him to new people thatthe best way to relate to him
(04:55):
is through Disney movies, marvelcharacters, things like that.
He really doesn't understandmuch unless you can put it in
context of a movie that he loves, and most of it is Disney, but
some of it's like Marvel and youknow comics and stuff like that
.
They have a huge impact on him.
The impact is so great with himthat when we needed to tell him
(05:18):
about when his grandmotherwasn't coming back after she
moved out of the house, wecouldn't get it through to him
until his dad put it in thecontext of the Lion King movies.
So my spouse had to tell himthat she left the pack and that
she's not coming back, and hadto do the same thing with anyone
(05:39):
else who has ever left himbehind.
I'm going to take a quick detourhere because I want to say that
just the other day Jacobexpressed to his dad on one of
their walks that he missed me.
He said I miss mommy or I missShannon doll, one of the two and
that's really impressive.
I mean for him to be able toput all of that feeling together
(06:02):
into words and get it out ofhis head through his mouth in a
way that another person canunderstand.
That's a huge, huge thing.
It's also very sad.
I did condition him, let himknow that I was coming out to
the campground and I just needsome time to get back to normal,
but of course it's hard to makehim understand that.
So I've gone a few weeks, but Ido see them periodically.
(06:32):
We think that maybe it was morethan just missing me.
Maybe he was starting to wonderif I had left left like
everyone else, because his realmother hasn't been in the
picture for many years.
His grandmother walked outafter saying she was going to
spend the rest of her lifehanging out with him after she
retired, and his half-siblingsare both out of his life.
So my spouse took theopportunity at that point to
have a discussion with him andtalk to him about his real
(06:55):
mother and his grandmother andhis two siblings, and they are
not coming back.
The half-sister lives in adifferent state and has made
some decisions that are not inJacob's best interest, and so
she has left the pack.
And the half-brother hasdefinitely made decisions that
are not in Jacob's best interestand not in anyone's best
(07:17):
interest.
So he is gone and he has leftthe pack, and, of course, the
grandmother.
Then he circled back to me andmy place in the family and
reassured him that I have notleft the pack, I am on a mission
and I will be back.
So that was nice.
But if we didn't have moviereferences it would be a lot
(07:38):
harder to get him to understandthings.
You know, you can take anyDisney movie maybe even Nemo,
Finding Nemo and find acharacter who's on a mission and
is not with their family atthis moment but will return.
So that type of thing is a huge, huge help for communicating
ideas and facts to our son andwe let everyone know that in
(08:03):
therapy and in school and anyonewho comes in contact with him.
That's the best way.
So back to my original story.
I found out somehow maybe itwas a Facebook post or something
, that that non-profit with theAutism Whisperer Lady that my
son went to several times a weekfor the teen group and went to
the swim night and stuff likethat, was going to a Disney on
(08:27):
ice, like ice capades type thing.
My child, more than any otherteen in that group, more than
any other kid I've seen in thatbuilding, loves his Disney
characters.
I mean, LOVES his Disneycharacters.
We took him to Disney in Floridaand Universal Studios and he
(08:48):
was the happiest - also the moststressed out, but the happiest
kid, because all of thecharacters were there and he
just he got hugs from them andpictures.
He got to meet so many of them.
It was so awesome for him and Ihave never seen any other kid
that excited about Disneycharacters, ever, ever.
(09:12):
And they didn't invite my kidto the Disney on Ice.
So I immediately contacted herand said you know, hey, what the
fuck?
Right?
She said his needs are toogreat.
We don't have enough staff towatch over him while we're
tending to all the other teens.
This is a teen group and theyfunction at a certain level and
(09:36):
he doesn't function at thatlevel.
It's just not a good idea forus to include him on this trip.
And I was heartbroken.
This is huge, you know, this isthe time when, you know, I
thought, I thought they caredabout him, I thought they liked
him and that they cared abouthis happiness.
And I thought that, becausethey chose this career path on
(10:02):
purpose, they didn't get stuckin "surprise! You're a mom and
the kid has autism.
" No, they chose this careerpath, All of the people involved
in this non-profit, and forsome reason I was always under
the impression, with anyone whoever met him, that they loved
(10:23):
him.
They just adored him.
He was so fun and so cute andjust such a great kid, and I
thought that everyone in theworld wanted to see my son happy
.
So this was a devastating blowfor us as his parents.
There's nothing he loves more,and he was in a stage where he
(10:44):
hated everything and the onething that could have given him
a small bit of joy wasn't evenoffered to him because he
doesn't function at the level ofthe other people who were going
.
So I told her well, what abouthis parents?
(11:06):
What about us?
Can't we go and watch over him?
I mean, how much is it?
Why don't we even haveopportunity to buy the tickets?
What is going on?
Can we go?
Do you have extra tickets?
How does this work?
Because we got grants to payfor his involvement in this
program.
So what about that?
Can't you use some of thatmoney?
(11:27):
We will pay for it.
I mean, if it's not super highprice, of course we'll pay for
it.
Can we just take him with youguys?
Can we just go?
And somehow we got it workedout to where all three of us
were able to go as part of thegroup, but we did drive
separately.
When we got there he was thehappiest person in the whole
(11:51):
building.
Everyone was having a ballwatching how happy our son was
to watch these Disney on Icecharacters coming out.
He got to see all of hisfavorite princesses.
He got to see them come rightby him later in the evening.
He knew every song, he kneweverything.
(12:12):
You know, he just wasdefinitely in his element.
He was so happy.
And our group was not very big.
It was maybe 20 people at themost, maybe 30.
I don't know, not that big.
I mean, in a place where youknow it's this, I don't know if
it was like a civic center, Idon't actually know where we
were, but it was a place whereyou would go if they had a
(12:33):
circus in town and stuff likethat.
It was big, you know, and a lotof the people that we were
surrounded by were not with thegroup.
They were just regular peopletrying to enjoy some family time
at the ice capades.
And at one point Jacob got soexcited that he jumped up in the
air and almost fell over all ofthe theater seats in front of
(13:00):
us.
He, I mean because it onlycomes up to your ankles, the
back of the chair in front ofyou and there was really no
nothing to brace yourself on.
But he jumped up and he almostfell.
But thank God I have beenconditioned already by this
point to reach out and grab himbecause of his running into
traffic all the time.
So I just instinctively reachedout, go-go gadget arm, grabbed
(13:23):
the back of his coat and yankedhim backwards and held him up.
The people behind us were soexcited about the whole thing
and I really couldn't get him tosit down either and I
apologized to them and they'relike well, that was really
awesome - Good save, but wedon't mind.
It's more fun watching hishappiness than watching the
(13:43):
actual show.
And see, that positive receptionis what I am used to.
That's how I thought everybodyviewed my child, even when I
didn't.
Everyone else seems to thinkthat he is the bee's knees and I
was so shocked at how he wastreated as an outcast, not even
invited to this life-changing,if only for a moment, activity.
(14:08):
That's when I realized thatthat whole event, everything..
.
That's when I realized that hisautism was no longer cute, he
was no longer welcome in certainspaces and it was time for us,
as his parents, to really startfighting for him to have a life.
(14:29):
It was different than theschool disrespecting him or
hurting him or forcing him intocertain classroom situations or
certain pep rally situations.
That was a form of just plaindisrespect for his needs.
This was different.
This was exclusion, purposeful,premeditated exclusion from a
(14:55):
group that was named for hisexact condition - Autism Teen
Group.
He was a teen with autism andthis was the first time I ever
experienced him being shunned byhis own people, basically, you
know what I mean?
But his utter happiness, amidsthating everything in life, was
so awesome.
(15:16):
I just I wanted him to havemore of this.
I thought it would makeeverything better for everyone,
to be honest.
So what I thought was you knowwhat he needs?
An outlet.
What he really loves is to actout the parts of anybody in a
movie - Anybody.
So I started looking for specialneeds - considerate theater
(15:38):
groups.
I didn't know what else to do,but I thought you know he's a
ham and he's always loved to actstuff out.
So what he doesn't talk right,it's fine.
Just give him an outlet.
I think that there should besomething like that.
I mean, you know, what thehell, right?
So I just started looking and Ikept my search going for like
(16:00):
three years, never did reallyfind a whole lot.
I found a couple things, whichI'll tell you about in a
different episode, but I wasreally disappointed to learn the
truth about his high needs andto start learning that there
were no extracurricular groupsthat catered to anyone like him.
I mean, I wasn't able to findanything.
No one wants to work withthespians who are special needs,
(16:22):
it seems.
Maybe I'm wrong.
.
.
this was, you know, 10 yearsago, I guess, or Nine years ago
anyway, but it doesn't seemthat there's a lot out there for
these kids.
To me, his behavior and hisneeds are just normal.
It's just what we deal with.
I've never really knownanything else.
He just never improved fromwhat he was when I met him.
Also, after about a year and ahalf of the non-schooling and
(16:45):
homeschooling mixture that wewere cooking up, he finally
agreed to go back to school.
So, yay! We would ask him everyother week, you know are you
ready to go back to school?
Do you want to go back toschool?
We tried to do it in an upbeatfashion, not as, like.
.
.
you know, 'you suck today.
Do you think you should go toschool?
'"It was just always we tried to
(17:07):
treat him with the utmostrespect, to consider his
feelings and his desires.
Do you want to go?
Because I don't want to keepyou home.
If you would rather go toschool, I'm not in the business
of making you unhappy.
The reason that you're homefrom school is because you were
not happy.
We always gave him a chance tosee if he's happy.
Are you ready to go?
(17:27):
You know, and eventually oneday he said yes, he's ready to
go back to school.
So details of his return willbe coming up in the next episode
.
I do have a cute little story,two cute little stories, for you
.
We just went to the shoppingthing the other day.
On Wednesdays, a local grocerystore here puts their health
food stuff on sale for like 30%off.
(17:48):
So that's the day that we goand get our family's healthy
groceries.
You know the gluten-free jazzand all that stuff.
So he was being a bit of a pillto begin with when they came
here to pick me up and it turnedout that he had slept too late
and had decided that he didn'twant breakfast.
He just wanted to go to thestore, and I think we need to
(18:09):
work on that.
I'm not agreeing with thatprocess at all because it does
affect him.
I mean, can anyone go to thestore?
And I think we need to work onthat.
I'm not agreeing with thatprocess at all because it does
affect him.
I mean, can anyone go to thegrocery store with an empty
stomach?
Anyway, we'll work on that.
But he was acting out of pocketand I think it was because he
was hungry.
But we got to the first healthfood store that we go to and he
(18:29):
was just like.
I had to work with him the wholetime, while his dad was trying
to pick stuff up for himself too, you know.
And I was telling him it's notJacob's turn right now, it's
daddy's turn.
Daddy has to think it's daddy'sturn and he's not.
He might not talk, but it'sstill his turn.
It's not our turn.
And then his dad would make onenoise and that would give Jacob
(18:49):
the idea that now it's his turn.
So no, now just because dadmade a noise does not mean it's
Jacob's turn, it's still daddy'sturn, you know.
And then so Jacob will go oh,be quiet, just be quiet, hunting
voices, you know, and he'lljust keep that going.
If you keep responding, thenthat monotone way that just
pierces through everything thatyou're trying to do in your head
(19:12):
and stops you from being ableto think, because it's just a
constant drone.
He knows what he's doing, thisis, he knows.
So then you have to stopresponding.
And he knows what we're, heknows the exercise, he knows
that we're supposed to be quiet,he understands all of the cues
and all of the words that I amgiving him and he's making his
choices as we go.
(19:32):
So then it's time to go up tothe cash register and he knows
the path.
He sees us going up towards thecash register and he runs in a
diagonal line from the front ofthe store all the way to the
back corner of the eating areawith his big self, you know.
And he says I want to be happy,because that's what he
(19:52):
associates with us, trying toget him off of the negative
train.
We just ignored him.
But then he runs all the wayback in the same exact path up
to the front of the store and hesays because people are stupid,
stupid, stupid.
I lost it, I was doubled over.
I couldn't even stand up.
(20:12):
I was laughing so hard andbecause he never can say because
, and then give a reason, youknow.
So I was thrilled but alsothought it was hilarious that
he's happy because people arestupid and it was just just
funny.
But no one else understood himand there was only the cashier
and my spouse.
But my spouse was prettyfrazzled already and pretty
(20:35):
negative and not hearing, notreally processing what was
coming out of the boy's mouth.
So I'm the only one therelaughing my ass off.
And Jacob knew, he knew that Igot it and I touched his arm and
you know, let him know that wasfunny, that was really smart.
I'm not laughing at you, I'mlaughing with you kind of thing,
you know, let him know that wasfunny, that was really smart.
I'm not laughing at you, I'mlaughing with you kind of thing,
you know.
(20:55):
And we have our own method ofcommunication.
He can read my expressionspretty well, so I wasn't too
worried about him taking it thewrong way.
But people are stupid issomething I taught him and it
was because somebody, somewhere,disrespected him.
And you know how I am.
I'll just call him out.
And I call him out by educatingmy son in front of them and I
(21:19):
remember telling him you don'thave to take that, you don't
have to let people treat youlike that.
You didn't deserve that andpeople are stupid.
I'm sorry that you had to dealwith that.
Some people are just stupid andhe has hung on to that, just
like a lot of other stuff that Ihave told him, and so he just
pulls it out of his pocketwhenever he wants and it's just
hilarious.
(21:39):
But I told his dad.
I'm like did you hear what hesaid?
He says no, no, I didn't.
So I had to say it because Ididn't.
I don't know.
Like he's over here booming,being negative my son, and then
the cashier doesn't know what tothink and my spouse is all
pissed off.
So I had to tell him exactlywhat happened.
My spouse didn't laugh, but thecashier understood finally what
(22:01):
was going on and she giggled.
So there, my mission wasaccomplished.
So then we get to the nextstore.
In between this store and thatstore, jacob got a snack, so he
should have been feeling alittle better.
I could tell that it was thefood that was making him upset,
or the lack of food, because assoon as he got a little bit of
snack in his hand and put it inhis mouth, everything stopped.
(22:23):
All the noises stopped.
And I know this boy I haveraised him mainly by myself a
lot of the time for so long thatwhen he is acting up and doing
all the noises and all themigraine-inducing behaviors and
you put a piece of food in hishand and he stops all the noise,
that means that the food iswhat was missing in that
(22:44):
equation.
If it was something else thatwas bothering him, then he would
continue with the behaviors, hewould continue with the stupid
noises and everything to giveyou a headache and he would be
eating at behaviors.
He would continue with thestupid noises and everything to
give you a headache and he wouldbe eating at the same time.
So I knew right away and thatsparked a discussion that I'm
not going to get into here butthe bottom line was I didn't
feel he was given a chance tobehave properly that day,
(23:07):
because he does not decide whenhe eats.
That's a problem that we'reworking with right now.
He will never be that person.
You know what I mean.
Like I can tell if he's nothungry.
He's allowed to say he's nothungry, but he no, you don't.
You're not allowed to go to agrocery store two grocery stores
with no fuel in your tank, withsevere autism.
(23:29):
Sorry, not happening.
I would be more inclined totake him later in the day if it
meant that he got to eat first.
Anyway, separate issuealtogether.
So we get to this next storeand he usually goes and grabs a
cart.
So he goes on his little pathto grab a cart and there is a
toddler right there about kneehigh to Jacob, and Jacob didn't
(23:53):
even care.
He just walked his knees rightinto this boy's head.
And I'm like Jacob and the momis right there.
I couldn't even look at any ofthem.
I just stared at the floor.
I couldn't look at her.
The kid was okay, he didn'treally know what had happened.
I couldn't look at Jacob.
I couldn't look at my spouse.
(24:13):
My spouse tells her sorry, sothat at least happened.
And she didn't seem to care.
She was still walking away,like looking for her kid, like
are you coming or what.
So I don't know, I'm maybe I'mmore protective of other
people's babies than they are, Idon't know.
But I felt terrible.
And he has been doing that.
He has walked right into truckmirrors, parked trucks, just
(24:35):
walking into them, you know,just not not paying attention,
and that is just very dangerous,you know what the hell.
So he grabs a cart Thankfully hedidn't mow the kid over with
the cart and I supervised histrajectory with that.
And then we get out to theaisle and at one point he had
(24:57):
left the cart behind and goneand like did his zooming around
and then he came back.
Well, in the middle of all thatI was pushing the cart a little
bit and I noticed that itwasn't exactly right and like
the wheel, you know how thewheel will stick and you can
pick the cart up and kind ofbounce it on the ground and jar
it loose and it'll function fine.
Well, that wasn't happening.
It wasn't that kind of wheelissue, it was just screwed up
(25:20):
and you really kind of had todrag the cart sometimes instead
of slamming the cart.
So I had forgotten I knew it,but then it was so quick and we
were so busy, I just forgot andI let Jacob have the cart when
he came back and then he left itagain on his path to go get his
special foods.
(25:40):
He just left.
I'm like son, why are youleaving your cart in the middle
of everything and his dad's like, yeah, jacob, don't you want
your cart?
He says no, and I still hadforgotten about the wheel.
We're like, well, come and getyour cart, come on, get your
cart.
And so he, reluctantly, comesback and gets the cart and he
was acting really strange.
(26:02):
And we get those frozen items.
We start going up and down theaisles that we need to shop
through and he's lagging behind.
He's acting really weird, notkeeping up with us, and every
time I look back he's like healmost looks drunk.
Finally, I said to his dad hewas like way far, he was two
(26:23):
aisles behind us and I'm lookingfor him and here he comes.
I still can't tell the storywithout laughing.
So here he comes, here he comesaround the corner and I just
caught a side glimpse of him asI was turning my head, you know,
(26:45):
and his body is like up againstthe wall.
He's got this expression on hisface, like whoa, and the cart
is being pushed.
And I said I didn't.
I still didn't think about thewheel, I just turned back around
.
I said, man, something is wrongwith Jacob, he's being really
(27:07):
weird.
And then I looked again weird.
And then I looked again.
I looked again and he kind ofgave me a smile and I realized
that he was trying to steer thecart with the fucked up wheel.
And he doesn't understand howanything works, ever, ever, ever
(27:32):
in life.
Okay, so he didn't knowanything, he just knew that this
is not right.
And so his arms are extendedall the way out towards the
center of the aisle, his torsois snaked all the way over to
the inside of the other aisle.
He's almost leaning against thewall and he's got this
(27:55):
expression on his face, likehe's walking a tightrope.
And I finally realized what washappening and I told his dad oh,
it's the cart, it's not Jacob,it's the cart.
His dad's like well, I don'tunderstand what the hell could
be wrong with the cart.
I'm like, no, you need to findout, because it's.
The wheel is really bad.
And he goes to grab the cartand I said it's not the kind
(28:17):
that you can slam out of it,there's something wrong with it.
So he tries slamming it out ofit anyway and he's like oh, and
he's like, yeah, this is wrong.
So he pushed it for a minuteand then he gave up and then
Jacob's pushing the cart andthen we finally get to go check
out his dad takes the cart.
We were both so entertainedJacob, just you could.
You could tell that Jacob waslike I want to see how he does
(28:41):
this.
You know, we both just stoppedand stood there and watched his
dad wrestle this cart down theaisle and again, I was laughing
so hard I could not stand up.
I had to grab a hold of Jacob'sarm for support and he was
appreciating the entire thing.
He wasn't laughing like I was,but he did see the humor or at
(29:03):
least the revenge or something.
You know what I mean, and hewas enjoying watching his dad
push the cart.
So that was hilarious.
We also had a teachable momentduring that, because he was in
between, like before.
He knew that I understood theproblem with the cart and why
Jacob was being weird about thecart.
Jacob was being really negativeand at one point I tried to
(29:26):
reach out and just give his arma squeeze, but he did not want
to be touched that dayapparently.
So he, you know he flipped awayfrom me and wouldn't let me
touch him and I was like, oh,you don't want to be touched
right now.
That's okay.
That's okay.
I understand.
Sometimes I feel like that too,and, to be honest, I feel like
that all the time.
He comes down every two minutesand squeezes my arms and I am
(29:47):
so tired of not having a wallaround my body because I don't
want to be touched all the time.
You know it's, I'm so tired ofit.
So, anyway, I was like okay,well, I understand, I don't
always want to be touched either.
Two minutes later, this boycomes and tries to squeeze my
arm and I snaked away from himand I said no, I also do not
(30:09):
want to be touched.
And he kept trying and I saiddidn't you just tell me you
don't want to be touched?
And he, you know, looks at me.
I'm like I don't want to betouched either.
I, if I don't touch you, youdon't touch me.
It's okay.
We don't have to touch eachother all the time.
I'm not going to touch youbecause you don't want to be
touched, and I want you to nottouch me because I also don't
(30:30):
want to be touched.
So we had a teachable moment.
Hopefully it worked.
I at least got to say my pieceabout it.
So I'm curious if you have anyfunny stories about taking your
child out on excursions, whetherit's shopping or something else
that you guys do together on aregular basis, or anything that
(30:51):
has not been done on a regularbasis, and any kind of strange
or funny reactions orinteractions.
I would love to hear from youon that.
So you can always email me atcontactparentingsevereautism at
gmailcom.
And since summer is here, don'tforget, I do have my shopping
cart on my affiliate links onpsabuzzsproutcom.
(31:16):
It's usually attached right atthe bottom of every episode but
it's got the organic and healthybug repellent and sunscreen and
tinctures and supplements fornervous system health and for
sleep.
And you know, with the seasonschanging and stuff, the kiddos
start to have trouble with theirsleep.
So if you're not doingmagnesium and stuff, you might
(31:38):
look into that.
I do have some on my shoppinglist that has worked well for us
, and also melatonin andlavender tea and stuff like that
can be really helpful Chamomiletea and you can do some
adaptogenic herbs for yourselfto help you get through, because
that's what we need as thecaregivers and the parents.
We need adaptogenic support forour nervous system.
(32:01):
So I have a bunch of links forstuff like that that works for
our family.
Hopefully that helps you.
And in my next episode I willstart detailing his return to
school.
I hope you guys are having adecent start to your summer.
I hope it only gets better fromhere.
Hang in there, you're asuperhero.
Hello and welcome to the Parenting Severe Autism
Podcast.
I am your host, ShannonChamberlin.
I'm so happy that you're herewith me today.
I want to make sure you knowhow to get in touch with me.
You can always support the showif any of these episodes have
touched you or made you feelseen or made you cry or anything
like that, and you want tosupport what I'm doing, To help
(00:39):
keep this podcast free foreveryone who is in our boat.
Small donations make a hugedifference and you can always
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That's probably the easiest wayto do it.
You can also check out my merchif you would like to have
(00:59):
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and, of course, me, who's makingthe podcast.
Don't forget, I've gotscreaming pillows and coffee
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(01:19):
You should be able to accessthat through my Buzzsprout links
.
I'm working on making it alittle easier to access, but
right now, if you go topsabuzzsproutcom, you can check
my links to support the show andyou'll be able to find my store
.
It's a spring store is what itsays.
I'm still working on being ableto make that a little easier to
(01:42):
access, but check it out.
If you'd like to support thepodcast, we would definitely
appreciate it, and the goal isto save up enough from your
donations to be able to helpanother severe autism family in
need.
So every little bit makes adifference.
Thank you so much for alwaysliking and sharing my podcast
episodes and my social mediaposts.
(02:04):
It really does help to grow thepodcast and that's what we need
right now.
My goal right now is to get athousand downloads a month, and
it's difficult because I am notallowed to advertise in the
severe autism groups on socialmedia.
Nobody knows about me in thosegroups.
I can't advertise as my page.
(02:24):
There's only one that allows meto be active.
Anything you can do to getthese episodes out there is
greatly appreciated and ofcourse, you'll always get a
shout out from me if you make adonation.
So, I just want to get into this.
.
.
It was obvious to me when I wasbringing our son to that
non-profit autism therapy placethat he may have been one of the
(02:46):
most severe in there, but evenat the time, you know, I didn't
know that there was severe.
I didn't realize that there wasa category.
I just I don't know.
We were just functioning andfiguring it out, you know.
But the more I was exposed toother people who were also
considered to have autism, themore I realized that my son had
(03:08):
a different kind of autism.
I think there were only two inthis teen group that he was in
that didn't really communicatemuch at all, but I still thought
the non-profit was a safe havenfor him.
The lady always told me when Iwould pick him up he is a lot.
Then she would say a lot forone mom to handle.
You know, like I said, I neverreally knew anything else.
(03:29):
I didn't know any better.
I didn't know anythingdifferent.
I just did this day in and dayout and I didn't realize he was
a lot until someone saidsomething.
And then, you know I think I'vementioned before that I kind of
wish I never heard that,because it made it a little
easier for me to once in a whilestart feeling a little sorry
for myself.
You know, like when you startfeeling stretched to the max and
(03:52):
then you realize you hear thatin the back of your mind "he's a
lot.
That's a lot for you, you know.
And the n.
.
.
it is a lot for me, poor me.
But there's really not a lot ofroom in the lifestyle for that
is there?
So you just suck it up and youkeep going.
But I always noticed that he hadtwo or three people working
with him at one time, sitting atthe table with him or tag
(04:12):
teaming him.
And I don't know, I thought.
.
.
you know it wasn't very busythere.
The kids were in and out atdifferent times and I don't know
, I thought that's what theywanted to do.
Ignorance is bliss, you know.
I didn't realize that heactually required two or three
people at one time.
All the time I thought thatthey just liked him, I thought
(04:34):
they thought he was fun or theyhad different things to offer,
bring to the table.
So they all worked with him atone time to see what was working
and what he would respond to.
But I don't think that was thecase.
I did always - his dad and Ialways tell everyone when we
introduce him to new people thatthe best way to relate to him
(04:55):
is through Disney movies, marvelcharacters, things like that.
He really doesn't understandmuch unless you can put it in
context of a movie that he loves, and most of it is Disney, but
some of it's like Marvel and youknow comics and stuff like that
.
They have a huge impact on him.
The impact is so great with himthat when we needed to tell him
(05:18):
about when his grandmotherwasn't coming back after she
moved out of the house, wecouldn't get it through to him
until his dad put it in thecontext of the Lion King movies.
So my spouse had to tell himthat she left the pack and that
she's not coming back, and hadto do the same thing with anyone
(05:39):
else who has ever left himbehind.
I'm going to take a quick detourhere because I want to say that
just the other day Jacobexpressed to his dad on one of
their walks that he missed me.
He said I miss mommy or I missShannon doll, one of the two and
that's really impressive.
I mean for him to be able toput all of that feeling together
(06:02):
into words and get it out ofhis head through his mouth in a
way that another person canunderstand.
That's a huge, huge thing.
It's also very sad.
I did condition him, let himknow that I was coming out to
the campground and I just needsome time to get back to normal,
but of course it's hard to makehim understand that.
So I've gone a few weeks, but Ido see them periodically.
(06:32):
We think that maybe it was morethan just missing me.
Maybe he was starting to wonderif I had left left like
everyone else, because his realmother hasn't been in the
picture for many years.
His grandmother walked outafter saying she was going to
spend the rest of her lifehanging out with him after she
retired, and his half-siblingsare both out of his life.
So my spouse took theopportunity at that point to
have a discussion with him andtalk to him about his real
(06:55):
mother and his grandmother andhis two siblings, and they are
not coming back.
The half-sister lives in adifferent state and has made
some decisions that are not inJacob's best interest, and so
she has left the pack.
And the half-brother hasdefinitely made decisions that
are not in Jacob's best interestand not in anyone's best
(07:17):
interest.
So he is gone and he has leftthe pack, and, of course, the
grandmother.
Then he circled back to me andmy place in the family and
reassured him that I have notleft the pack, I am on a mission
and I will be back.
So that was nice.
But if we didn't have moviereferences it would be a lot
(07:38):
harder to get him to understandthings.
You know, you can take anyDisney movie maybe even Nemo,
Finding Nemo and find acharacter who's on a mission and
is not with their family atthis moment but will return.
So that type of thing is a huge, huge help for communicating
ideas and facts to our son andwe let everyone know that in
(08:03):
therapy and in school and anyonewho comes in contact with him.
That's the best way.
So back to my original story.
I found out somehow maybe itwas a Facebook post or something
, that that non-profit with theAutism Whisperer Lady that my
son went to several times a weekfor the teen group and went to
the swim night and stuff likethat, was going to a Disney on
(08:27):
ice, like ice capades type thing.
My child, more than any otherteen in that group, more than
any other kid I've seen in thatbuilding, loves his Disney
characters.
I mean, LOVES his Disneycharacters.
We took him to Disney in Floridaand Universal Studios and he
(08:48):
was the happiest - also the moststressed out, but the happiest
kid, because all of thecharacters were there and he
just he got hugs from them andpictures.
He got to meet so many of them.
It was so awesome for him and Ihave never seen any other kid
that excited about Disneycharacters, ever, ever.
(09:12):
And they didn't invite my kidto the Disney on Ice.
So I immediately contacted herand said you know, hey, what the
fuck?
Right?
She said his needs are toogreat.
We don't have enough staff towatch over him while we're
tending to all the other teens.
This is a teen group and theyfunction at a certain level and
(09:36):
he doesn't function at thatlevel.
It's just not a good idea forus to include him on this trip.
And I was heartbroken.
This is huge, you know, this isthe time when, you know, I
thought, I thought they caredabout him, I thought they liked
him and that they cared abouthis happiness.
And I thought that, becausethey chose this career path on
(10:02):
purpose, they didn't get stuckin "surprise! You're a mom and
the kid has autism.
" No, they chose this careerpath, All of the people involved
in this non-profit, and forsome reason I was always under
the impression, with anyone whoever met him, that they loved
(10:23):
him.
They just adored him.
He was so fun and so cute andjust such a great kid, and I
thought that everyone in theworld wanted to see my son happy
.
So this was a devastating blowfor us as his parents.
There's nothing he loves more,and he was in a stage where he
(10:44):
hated everything and the onething that could have given him
a small bit of joy wasn't evenoffered to him because he
doesn't function at the level ofthe other people who were going
.
So I told her well, what abouthis parents?
(11:06):
What about us?
Can't we go and watch over him?
I mean, how much is it?
Why don't we even haveopportunity to buy the tickets?
What is going on?
Can we go?
Do you have extra tickets?
How does this work?
Because we got grants to payfor his involvement in this
program.
So what about that?
Can't you use some of thatmoney?
(11:27):
We will pay for it.
I mean, if it's not super highprice, of course we'll pay for
it.
Can we just take him with youguys?
Can we just go?
And somehow we got it workedout to where all three of us
were able to go as part of thegroup, but we did drive
separately.
When we got there he was thehappiest person in the whole
(11:51):
building.
Everyone was having a ballwatching how happy our son was
to watch these Disney on Icecharacters coming out.
He got to see all of hisfavorite princesses.
He got to see them come rightby him later in the evening.
He knew every song, he kneweverything.
(12:12):
You know, he just wasdefinitely in his element.
He was so happy.
And our group was not very big.
It was maybe 20 people at themost, maybe 30.
I don't know, not that big.
I mean, in a place where youknow it's this, I don't know if
it was like a civic center, Idon't actually know where we
were, but it was a place whereyou would go if they had a
(12:33):
circus in town and stuff likethat.
It was big, you know, and a lotof the people that we were
surrounded by were not with thegroup.
They were just regular peopletrying to enjoy some family time
at the ice capades.
And at one point Jacob got soexcited that he jumped up in the
air and almost fell over all ofthe theater seats in front of
(13:00):
us.
He, I mean because it onlycomes up to your ankles, the
back of the chair in front ofyou and there was really no
nothing to brace yourself on.
But he jumped up and he almostfell.
But thank God I have beenconditioned already by this
point to reach out and grab himbecause of his running into
traffic all the time.
So I just instinctively reachedout, go-go gadget arm, grabbed
(13:23):
the back of his coat and yankedhim backwards and held him up.
The people behind us were soexcited about the whole thing
and I really couldn't get him tosit down either and I
apologized to them and they'relike well, that was really
awesome - Good save, but wedon't mind.
It's more fun watching hishappiness than watching the
(13:43):
actual show.
And see, that positive receptionis what I am used to.
That's how I thought everybodyviewed my child, even when I
didn't.
Everyone else seems to thinkthat he is the bee's knees and I
was so shocked at how he wastreated as an outcast, not even
invited to this life-changing,if only for a moment, activity.
(14:08):
That's when I realized thatthat whole event, everything..
.
That's when I realized that hisautism was no longer cute, he
was no longer welcome in certainspaces and it was time for us,
as his parents, to really startfighting for him to have a life.
(14:29):
It was different than theschool disrespecting him or
hurting him or forcing him intocertain classroom situations or
certain pep rally situations.
That was a form of just plaindisrespect for his needs.
This was different.
This was exclusion, purposeful,premeditated exclusion from a
(14:55):
group that was named for hisexact condition - Autism Teen
Group.
He was a teen with autism andthis was the first time I ever
experienced him being shunned byhis own people, basically, you
know what I mean?
But his utter happiness, amidsthating everything in life, was
so awesome.
(15:16):
I just I wanted him to havemore of this.
I thought it would makeeverything better for everyone,
to be honest.
So what I thought was you knowwhat he needs?
An outlet.
What he really loves is to actout the parts of anybody in a
movie - Anybody.
So I started looking for specialneeds - considerate theater
(15:38):
groups.
I didn't know what else to do,but I thought you know he's a
ham and he's always loved to actstuff out.
So what he doesn't talk right,it's fine.
Just give him an outlet.
I think that there should besomething like that.
I mean, you know, what thehell, right?
So I just started looking and Ikept my search going for like
(16:00):
three years, never did reallyfind a whole lot.
I found a couple things, whichI'll tell you about in a
different episode, but I wasreally disappointed to learn the
truth about his high needs andto start learning that there
were no extracurricular groupsthat catered to anyone like him.
I mean, I wasn't able to findanything.
No one wants to work withthespians who are special needs,
(16:22):
it seems.
Maybe I'm wrong.
.
.
this was, you know, 10 yearsago, I guess, or Nine years ago
anyway, but it doesn't seemthat there's a lot out there for
these kids.
To me, his behavior and hisneeds are just normal.
It's just what we deal with.
I've never really knownanything else.
He just never improved fromwhat he was when I met him.
Also, after about a year and ahalf of the non-schooling and
(16:45):
homeschooling mixture that wewere cooking up, he finally
agreed to go back to school.
So, yay! We would ask him everyother week, you know are you
ready to go back to school?
Do you want to go back toschool?
We tried to do it in an upbeatfashion, not as, like.
.
.
you know, 'you suck today.
Do you think you should go toschool?
'"It was just always we tried to
(17:07):
treat him with the utmostrespect, to consider his
feelings and his desires.
Do you want to go?
Because I don't want to keepyou home.
If you would rather go toschool, I'm not in the business
of making you unhappy.
The reason that you're homefrom school is because you were
not happy.
We always gave him a chance tosee if he's happy.
Are you ready to go?
(17:27):
You know, and eventually oneday he said yes, he's ready to
go back to school.
So details of his return willbe coming up in the next episode
.
I do have a cute little story,two cute little stories, for you
.
We just went to the shoppingthing the other day.
On Wednesdays, a local grocerystore here puts their health
food stuff on sale for like 30%off.
(17:48):
So that's the day that we goand get our family's healthy
groceries.
You know the gluten-free jazzand all that stuff.
So he was being a bit of a pillto begin with when they came
here to pick me up and it turnedout that he had slept too late
and had decided that he didn'twant breakfast.
He just wanted to go to thestore, and I think we need to
(18:09):
work on that.
I'm not agreeing with thatprocess at all because it does
affect him.
I mean, can anyone go to thestore?
And I think we need to work onthat.
I'm not agreeing with thatprocess at all because it does
affect him.
I mean, can anyone go to thegrocery store with an empty
stomach?
Anyway, we'll work on that.
But he was acting out of pocketand I think it was because he
was hungry.
But we got to the first healthfood store that we go to and he
(18:29):
was just like.
I had to work with him the wholetime, while his dad was trying
to pick stuff up for himself too, you know.
And I was telling him it's notJacob's turn right now, it's
daddy's turn.
Daddy has to think it's daddy'sturn and he's not.
He might not talk, but it'sstill his turn.
It's not our turn.
And then his dad would make onenoise and that would give Jacob
(18:49):
the idea that now it's his turn.
So no, now just because dadmade a noise does not mean it's
Jacob's turn, it's still daddy'sturn, you know.
And then so Jacob will go oh,be quiet, just be quiet, hunting
voices, you know, and he'lljust keep that going.
If you keep responding, thenthat monotone way that just
pierces through everything thatyou're trying to do in your head
(19:12):
and stops you from being ableto think, because it's just a
constant drone.
He knows what he's doing, thisis, he knows.
So then you have to stopresponding.
And he knows what we're, heknows the exercise, he knows
that we're supposed to be quiet,he understands all of the cues
and all of the words that I amgiving him and he's making his
choices as we go.
(19:32):
So then it's time to go up tothe cash register and he knows
the path.
He sees us going up towards thecash register and he runs in a
diagonal line from the front ofthe store all the way to the
back corner of the eating areawith his big self, you know.
And he says I want to be happy,because that's what he
(19:52):
associates with us, trying toget him off of the negative
train.
We just ignored him.
But then he runs all the wayback in the same exact path up
to the front of the store and hesays because people are stupid,
stupid, stupid.
I lost it, I was doubled over.
I couldn't even stand up.
(20:12):
I was laughing so hard andbecause he never can say because
, and then give a reason, youknow.
So I was thrilled but alsothought it was hilarious that
he's happy because people arestupid and it was just just
funny.
But no one else understood himand there was only the cashier
and my spouse.
But my spouse was prettyfrazzled already and pretty
(20:35):
negative and not hearing, notreally processing what was
coming out of the boy's mouth.
So I'm the only one therelaughing my ass off.
And Jacob knew, he knew that Igot it and I touched his arm and
you know, let him know that wasfunny, that was really smart.
I'm not laughing at you, I'mlaughing with you kind of thing,
you know, let him know that wasfunny, that was really smart.
I'm not laughing at you, I'mlaughing with you kind of thing,
you know.
(20:55):
And we have our own method ofcommunication.
He can read my expressionspretty well, so I wasn't too
worried about him taking it thewrong way.
But people are stupid issomething I taught him and it
was because somebody, somewhere,disrespected him.
And you know how I am.
I'll just call him out.
And I call him out by educatingmy son in front of them and I
(21:19):
remember telling him you don'thave to take that, you don't
have to let people treat youlike that.
You didn't deserve that andpeople are stupid.
I'm sorry that you had to dealwith that.
Some people are just stupid andhe has hung on to that, just
like a lot of other stuff that Ihave told him, and so he just
pulls it out of his pocketwhenever he wants and it's just
hilarious.
(21:39):
But I told his dad.
I'm like did you hear what hesaid?
He says no, no, I didn't.
So I had to say it because Ididn't.
I don't know.
Like he's over here booming,being negative my son, and then
the cashier doesn't know what tothink and my spouse is all
pissed off.
So I had to tell him exactlywhat happened.
My spouse didn't laugh, but thecashier understood finally what
(22:01):
was going on and she giggled.
So there, my mission wasaccomplished.
So then we get to the nextstore.
In between this store and thatstore, jacob got a snack, so he
should have been feeling alittle better.
I could tell that it was thefood that was making him upset,
or the lack of food, because assoon as he got a little bit of
snack in his hand and put it inhis mouth, everything stopped.
(22:23):
All the noises stopped.
And I know this boy I haveraised him mainly by myself a
lot of the time for so long thatwhen he is acting up and doing
all the noises and all themigraine-inducing behaviors and
you put a piece of food in hishand and he stops all the noise,
that means that the food iswhat was missing in that
(22:44):
equation.
If it was something else thatwas bothering him, then he would
continue with the behaviors, hewould continue with the stupid
noises and everything to giveyou a headache and he would be
eating at behaviors.
He would continue with thestupid noises and everything to
give you a headache and he wouldbe eating at the same time.
So I knew right away and thatsparked a discussion that I'm
not going to get into here butthe bottom line was I didn't
feel he was given a chance tobehave properly that day,
(23:07):
because he does not decide whenhe eats.
That's a problem that we'reworking with right now.
He will never be that person.
You know what I mean.
Like I can tell if he's nothungry.
He's allowed to say he's nothungry, but he no, you don't.
You're not allowed to go to agrocery store two grocery stores
with no fuel in your tank, withsevere autism.
(23:29):
Sorry, not happening.
I would be more inclined totake him later in the day if it
meant that he got to eat first.
Anyway, separate issuealtogether.
So we get to this next storeand he usually goes and grabs a
cart.
So he goes on his little pathto grab a cart and there is a
toddler right there about kneehigh to Jacob, and Jacob didn't
(23:53):
even care.
He just walked his knees rightinto this boy's head.
And I'm like Jacob and the momis right there.
I couldn't even look at any ofthem.
I just stared at the floor.
I couldn't look at her.
The kid was okay, he didn'treally know what had happened.
I couldn't look at Jacob.
I couldn't look at my spouse.
(24:13):
My spouse tells her sorry, sothat at least happened.
And she didn't seem to care.
She was still walking away,like looking for her kid, like
are you coming or what.
So I don't know, I'm maybe I'mmore protective of other
people's babies than they are, Idon't know.
But I felt terrible.
And he has been doing that.
He has walked right into truckmirrors, parked trucks, just
(24:35):
walking into them, you know,just not not paying attention,
and that is just very dangerous,you know what the hell.
So he grabs a cart Thankfully hedidn't mow the kid over with
the cart and I supervised histrajectory with that.
And then we get out to theaisle and at one point he had
(24:57):
left the cart behind and goneand like did his zooming around
and then he came back.
Well, in the middle of all thatI was pushing the cart a little
bit and I noticed that itwasn't exactly right and like
the wheel, you know how thewheel will stick and you can
pick the cart up and kind ofbounce it on the ground and jar
it loose and it'll function fine.
Well, that wasn't happening.
It wasn't that kind of wheelissue, it was just screwed up
(25:20):
and you really kind of had todrag the cart sometimes instead
of slamming the cart.
So I had forgotten I knew it,but then it was so quick and we
were so busy, I just forgot andI let Jacob have the cart when
he came back and then he left itagain on his path to go get his
special foods.
(25:40):
He just left.
I'm like son, why are youleaving your cart in the middle
of everything and his dad's like, yeah, jacob, don't you want
your cart?
He says no, and I still hadforgotten about the wheel.
We're like, well, come and getyour cart, come on, get your
cart.
And so he, reluctantly, comesback and gets the cart and he
was acting really strange.
(26:02):
And we get those frozen items.
We start going up and down theaisles that we need to shop
through and he's lagging behind.
He's acting really weird, notkeeping up with us, and every
time I look back he's like healmost looks drunk.
Finally, I said to his dad hewas like way far, he was two
(26:23):
aisles behind us and I'm lookingfor him and here he comes.
I still can't tell the storywithout laughing.
So here he comes, here he comesaround the corner and I just
caught a side glimpse of him asI was turning my head, you know,
(26:45):
and his body is like up againstthe wall.
He's got this expression on hisface, like whoa, and the cart
is being pushed.
And I said I didn't.
I still didn't think about thewheel, I just turned back around
.
I said, man, something is wrongwith Jacob, he's being really
(27:07):
weird.
And then I looked again weird.
And then I looked again.
I looked again and he kind ofgave me a smile and I realized
that he was trying to steer thecart with the fucked up wheel.
And he doesn't understand howanything works, ever, ever, ever
(27:32):
in life.
Okay, so he didn't knowanything, he just knew that this
is not right.
And so his arms are extendedall the way out towards the
center of the aisle, his torsois snaked all the way over to
the inside of the other aisle.
He's almost leaning against thewall and he's got this
(27:55):
expression on his face, likehe's walking a tightrope.
And I finally realized what washappening and I told his dad oh,
it's the cart, it's not Jacob,it's the cart.
His dad's like well, I don'tunderstand what the hell could
be wrong with the cart.
I'm like, no, you need to findout, because it's.
The wheel is really bad.
And he goes to grab the cartand I said it's not the kind
(28:17):
that you can slam out of it,there's something wrong with it.
So he tries slamming it out ofit anyway and he's like oh, and
he's like, yeah, this is wrong.
So he pushed it for a minuteand then he gave up and then
Jacob's pushing the cart andthen we finally get to go check
out his dad takes the cart.
We were both so entertainedJacob, just you could.
You could tell that Jacob waslike I want to see how he does
(28:41):
this.
You know, we both just stoppedand stood there and watched his
dad wrestle this cart down theaisle and again, I was laughing
so hard I could not stand up.
I had to grab a hold of Jacob'sarm for support and he was
appreciating the entire thing.
He wasn't laughing like I was,but he did see the humor or at
(29:03):
least the revenge or something.
You know what I mean, and hewas enjoying watching his dad
push the cart.
So that was hilarious.
We also had a teachable momentduring that, because he was in
between, like before.
He knew that I understood theproblem with the cart and why
Jacob was being weird about thecart.
Jacob was being really negativeand at one point I tried to
(29:26):
reach out and just give his arma squeeze, but he did not want
to be touched that dayapparently.
So he, you know he flipped awayfrom me and wouldn't let me
touch him and I was like, oh,you don't want to be touched
right now.
That's okay.
That's okay.
I understand.
Sometimes I feel like that too,and, to be honest, I feel like
that all the time.
He comes down every two minutesand squeezes my arms and I am
(29:47):
so tired of not having a wallaround my body because I don't
want to be touched all the time.
You know it's, I'm so tired ofit.
So, anyway, I was like okay,well, I understand, I don't
always want to be touched either.
Two minutes later, this boycomes and tries to squeeze my
arm and I snaked away from himand I said no, I also do not
(30:09):
want to be touched.
And he kept trying and I saiddidn't you just tell me you
don't want to be touched?
And he, you know, looks at me.
I'm like I don't want to betouched either.
I, if I don't touch you, youdon't touch me.
It's okay.
We don't have to touch eachother all the time.
I'm not going to touch youbecause you don't want to be
touched, and I want you to nottouch me because I also don't
(30:30):
want to be touched.
So we had a teachable moment.
Hopefully it worked.
I at least got to say my pieceabout it.
So I'm curious if you have anyfunny stories about taking your
child out on excursions, whetherit's shopping or something else
that you guys do together on aregular basis, or anything that
(30:51):
has not been done on a regularbasis, and any kind of strange
or funny reactions orinteractions.
I would love to hear from youon that.
So you can always email me atcontactparentingsevereautism at
gmailcom.
And since summer is here, don'tforget, I do have my shopping
cart on my affiliate links onpsabuzzsproutcom.
(31:16):
It's usually attached right atthe bottom of every episode but
it's got the organic and healthybug repellent and sunscreen and
tinctures and supplements fornervous system health and for
sleep.
And you know, with the seasonschanging and stuff, the kiddos
start to have trouble with theirsleep.
So if you're not doingmagnesium and stuff, you might
(31:38):
look into that.
I do have some on my shoppinglist that has worked well for us
, and also melatonin andlavender tea and stuff like that
can be really helpful Chamomiletea and you can do some
adaptogenic herbs for yourselfto help you get through, because
that's what we need as thecaregivers and the parents.
We need adaptogenic support forour nervous system.
(32:01):
So I have a bunch of links forstuff like that that works for
our family.
Hopefully that helps you.
And in my next episode I willstart detailing his return to
school.
I hope you guys are having adecent start to your summer.
I hope it only gets better fromhere.
Hang in there, you're asuperhero.
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