323: When Your Child Makes Bad Choices

When Your Child Makes Bad Choices

Are you constantly feeling disappointed by your child's choices, wondering why they just won't listen?

In this powerful, impromptu episode of The Impactful Parent podcast, your host, Kristina Campos, dives deep into the heart of parental disappointment and how we can flip the script to achieve a more harmonious relationship with our kids.

If you have a strong-willed child or are parenting teenagers, this conversation is absolutely vital for you! Kristina unpacks the concept that often, the pain we feel when a child makes a bad choice is not a betrayal by them, but an expectation violation within ourselves. She breaks down the fascinating psychological concept of projection bias —the tendency to assume our kids think, care, and act based on our values instead of their own developing mental models and needs.

As parents, we instill values, but as our teens seek autonomy, they inevitably begin to create their own value system. When their choices clash with ours—whether it’s about screen time battles, academics/grades, or other instances of a teenager making bad choices—it’s easy to take it personally.

Kristina challenges us to move past the blame game. The key to influencing your child's behavior is to "observe more" and stop shutting down. Instead of asking, "Why aren't you listening?" we need to ask critical questions to truly understand their own values and needs behind their decision-making.

By separating what your child does from what you wanted them to do, you can foster a stronger relationship and become a more impactful parent. Tune in for invaluable parenting advice that will help you let go of frustration, prevent you from losing the relationship with your kids, and build better communication with your child.

Key takeaways from this episode:

• Why your parental expectations are letting you down, not your child.

• How to respond when your child's values are misaligned with your own.

• The critical shift from accusation to observation.

 

LINKS MENTIONED IN THE RECORDING

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What to do next:

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