Breaking Up with “Good Mom” Guilt: Redefining Success in the Teen Years

In this must-listen episode of Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam, adolescent psychologist and parenting coach Dr. Cam Caswell sits down with writer and professor Nancy Reddy, author of The Good Mother Myth, to unpack the crushing weight of unrealistic parenting expectations.

Together, they explore how outdated beliefs about “good” parenting are fueling unnecessary guilt and stress—especially for moms of teens. You’ll learn the difference between helpful guilt and harmful shame, how to let go of perfectionism, and how to reframe your role as your teen grows more independent.

Nancy also shares the liberating truth about asking for help and why showing vulnerability is one of the best lessons you can teach your teen.

This episode is both a sigh of relief and a wake-up call. If you're tired of feeling like you're not doing enough, listen in.

WHAT YOU'LL LEARN IN THIS EPISODE

• How outdated “good mom” myths create toxic guilt for modern parents.
• The truth about your role in your teen’s happiness (and why it’s not what you think)
• Why modeling imperfection and asking for help makes you a better parent
• Practical tips to release shame, reclaim calm, and parent from your values

5 KEY TAKEAWAYS FOR PARENTS OF TEENS

1. Guilt ≠ Shame: Guilt can spark change, but shame keeps you stuck in self-blame
2. Use a values check when guilt creeps in—what matters to your family, not to others
3. Build a “friend family” of supportive adults to share the emotional and logistical load
4. Ask for help—and watch how it gives your teen permission to do the same
5. Focus on the relationship, not your performance. You’re a parent, not a perfectionist

 

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RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

• The Good Mother Myth by Nancy Reddy
• Write More, Be Less Careful Newsletter
• Work Like a Mother by Laura Bazelon
• Unfit Parent by Jessica Slice
• Research by Erica Boothby on “the liking gap”
• Anthropological research by Margaret Mead

 

CONNECT WITH OUR GUEST: Nancy Reddy

• Website: nancyreddy.com
• Instagram: @nancy.o.reddy
• Newsletter: Write More, Be Less Careful

CONNECT WITH YOUR HOST: Dr. Cam Caswell

• Website: AskDrCam.com
• Instagram: @DrCamCaswell
• TikTok: @the.teen.translator
• YouTube: Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam
• Facebook: @DrCamCaswell

EPISODE CHAPTERS

00:00 The Pressure of Perfection in Motherhood 03:12 Navigating the Transition to Parenting Teens 06:05 Understanding and Overcoming Mom Guilt 09:01 The Myth of the Perfect Mother 12:03 Distinguishing Guilt from Accountability 14:48 Letting Go of Guilt and Embracing Trust 18:11 The Role of Community and Co-Parenting 21:22 Navigating New Motherhood and Guilt 24:38 The Role of Community in Parenting 26:10 Understanding Guilt in Parenting 30:09 The Importance of Asking for Help 33:11 Modeling Vulnerability for Our Children 38:34 Defining Values to Combat Guilt

  ABOUT THE SHOW

The Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam Podcast is your go-to resource for navigating the challenges of raising teen