How to Diffuse Conflict with Combative Teens: The Secret to Resolving Tension

Tired of constant arguments with your teen? You’re not alone! In this episode, Dr. Cam sits down with conflict resolution expert Hesha Abrams to reveal practical techniques for defusing conflict and improving communication with combative teens. Learn how power struggles fuel arguments, why emotional regulation is key, and how a simple “do-over” can repair relationships. If you’re ready to stop the battles and start connecting, this episode is for you!

WHAT YOU'LL LEARN IN THIS EPISODE

• The surprising role power dynamics play in teen conflicts
• Techniques to calm heated situations before they escalate
• Why validation is a game-changer in communication
• How to redirect destructive behavior before it spirals
• The power of modeling emotional regulation for your teen

5 KEY TAKEAWAYS FOR PARENTS OF TEENS

1. Parenting is tough—grace and patience go a long way.
2. Conflict is often about power struggles—understanding this can help.
3. Teaching teens to manage big emotions is essential.
4. Modeling good behavior is more powerful than lecturing.
5. Perfection isn’t the goal—building a strong connection is.

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  RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

• Book: Holding the Calm: The Secret to Resolving Conflict and Defusing Tension by Hesha Abrams

  EPISODE CHAPTERS

• 00:00 Introduction to Conflict Resolution with Teens
• 03:35 Understanding Power Dynamics in Conflict
• 10:13 Navigating Teen Conflicts
• 20:54 The Importance of Modeling Behavior
• 32:52 Redirecting Destructive Behavior

  CONNECT WITH OUR GUEST: Hesha Abrams

• Website: www.holdingthecalm.com
• Facebook: @HeshaAbramsHoldingTheCalm
• Instagram: @holdingthecalmbook

  CONNECT WITH YOUR HOST: Dr. Cam Caswell

• Website: AskDrCam.com
• Instagram: @DrCamCaswell
• TikTok: @the.teen.translator
• YouTube: Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam
• Facebook: @DrCamCaswell

 

THE FULL TRANSCRIPT

 

Welcome back parents, Dr. Cam here. And in today's episode, we are diving into the secret to defusing conflict with combative teens with a renowned conflict resolution expert, Haysha Abrams. Haysha is an international acclaimed attorney and mediator known for her success in resolving high profile cases with some of the world's biggest companies, including Google, Amazon, Facebook, and Pepsi. I've heard of a few of those. 

 

She's also the author of the popular new book, Holding the Calm, the Secret to Resolving Conflict and Diffusing Tension. Today, Hayshia is going to share some practical, easy -to -use techniques to diffuse tension and resolve conflict, not just for our teens, but with anyone. Welcome, Hayshia. Thank you so much for joining us. Can you just start with your backstory? How did you get start in conflict resolution?

 

Hesha Abrams (00:48)

My pleasure. Well, what I want to start with, especially for a podcast like yours, because I do business podcasts all the time. But what I tell people is I'm a lawyer, I'm a mediator. I've done multi -billion dollar disputes at the highest levels of industry. And the hardest job I've ever had, being a parent.

 

Dr. Cam (01:03)

Yeah, that is so good to hear. Yes, good to hear. Good and not good. What did we get ourselves into?

 

Hesha Abrams (01:19)

It is so, well, you live with a tyrannical roommate who doesn't pay rent, right? So, and part of the problem is we want them to like us. And that is really a very dangerous, dangerous thing. So it becomes a really hard needle to thread. And that's what I want to talk about because I've learned techniques. have, first of all, I have great relationships with all my kids and my in -law kids. So I think that gives me some kudos right there. The techniques I'm going to teach, I use on them. And I have nine grandchildren and I use these on them earlier. I'm smarter now than I was when I was young, because I didn't have a me putting out a book like Holding the Calm. I had a lot of the touchy feely books in my day that don't work. They talk a