Setting Boundaries Your Teen Will Actually Respect

If setting boundaries with your teen feels like trying to nail Jell-O to a wall—you’re not alone. In this episode of Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam, I sit down with Matilda Gosling, social scientist and author of Teenagers: The Evidence Base, to break down the science behind boundary-setting that actually works. No more power struggles. No more guessing games. Just real, research-backed strategies to help you protect your teen and prepare them for the real world.

Matilda brings both the data and the empathy, helping parents understand where to draw the line, when to back off, and how to keep the relationship strong while doing it. If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Am I being too strict? Too lenient?”—this episode is your answer.

WHAT YOU'LL LEARN IN THIS EPISODE

• Why boundaries help teens feel safe, not smothered
• How to focus on the rules that really matter (and ditch the ones that don’t)
• The difference between control and influence—and why one actually works
• How to set your own boundaries without feeling guilty or selfish

5 KEY TAKEAWAYS FOR PARENTS OF TEENS

1. Prioritize the big stuff: Health, safety, and emotional well-being come first. Let go of the small battles.
2. Your boundaries matter too: You’re allowed to have limits—and your teen needs to see them.
3. Respect their privacy: Snooping leads to secrets. Trust builds openness.
4. Explain, don’t dictate: When teens understand the why, they’re more likely to follow through.
5. Mistakes are part of the process: Boundaries aren’t about perfection—they’re about growth.

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  RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

• Matilda Gosling's Substack (Sign up to get a free PDF Q&A on teen mental health!)
• Book: Teenagers: The Evidence Base by Matilda Gosling
• Book: The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt

  CONNECT WITH OUR GUEST: Matilda Gosling

• Website: matildagosling.substack.com
• Instagram: @matilda.gosling
• LinkedIn: Matilda Gosling
• X/Twitter: @matildagosling

  CONNECT WITH YOUR HOST: Dr. Cam Caswell

• Website: AskDrCam.com
• Instagram: @DrCamCaswell
• TikTok: @the.teen.translator
• YouTube: Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam
• Facebook: @DrCamCaswell

  EPISODE CHAPTERS:

00:00 Understanding Teen Boundaries 02:59 The Importance of Independence 05:48 Defining Boundaries vs. Rules 09:04 Negotiating Boundaries with Teens 12:02 Common Mistakes Parents Make 15:02 The Role of Safetyism 18:08 Respecting Teen Privacy 20:56 Identifying Important Boundaries 23:46 Setting Parental Boundaries 27:06 The Importance of Modeling Behavior 29:57 Navigating Emotional Responses 32:49 Final Thoughts on Boundaries

  ABOUT THE SHOW

The Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam Podcast is your go-to resource for navigating the challenges of raising teenagers. Hosted by Dr. Cam Caswell, an adolescent psychologist and certified parenting coach, this podcast offers practical parenting strategies, expert advice, and real-world insights to help you build a stronger relationship with your teen and support their emotional growth. Whether you’re struggling with teenage behavior or looking to improve communication, each episode provides actionable tips to make parenting teens easier and more rewarding. Perfect for both new and seasoned parents, this podcast helps you build the confidence to