August 5, 2024 • 39 mins
Can you imagine juggling a caregiving routine for a parent with Alzheimer's while preparing for a last-minute TV comedy appearance? That's the reality I faced as I navigated a whirlwind of chaos, laughter, and heartfelt moments. With help from my incredible teams, I managed to balance podcast production and the meticulous caregiving of my mom. Through all the craziness, I learned the vital importance of resilience, adaptability, and finding humor in the most challenging situations.
From the chaotic preparations to the serene moments of connecting with fellow comedians, this time was nothing short of an emotional rollercoaster. I share the behind-the-scenes antics that went into making the TV show appearance happen—think frantic late-night adjustments and last-minute logistical hurdles. But the real magic happened in the comedy green room, where I reconnected with the amazing Kelly Kellz and the legendary Cocoa Brown. I also met Palmer Williams for the first time.
Lastly, we explore the importance of trust, integrity, and authenticity in building relationships, both online and offline.
Visit fox5atlanta.com/shows/portia for the Season Finale of the Portia Show featuring J Smiles!
Hosted by: J Smiles
Producer: MiaHallTV
Editor: AnneliseTV
"Alzheimer's is heavy but we ain't gotta be!"
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
So I look back over the last 36 hours and I say, ok,
how did this all happen?
Why did it happen?
Shit, I don't know.
I don't know.
But what I do know is this I ama master of showing up.
(00:21):
I show up.
I might be sleepy, I might belate, I might not have any cash
on me.
I have been to Europe twicepeople with no wallet and no
cash.
How you get all the way toEurope?
Jade, that's another wholething.
(00:42):
But you know, delta got the flyready and digital, whatever.
I showed my passport and theyshowed my face and got on the
thing and I didn't have no, Imean no money, not one single US
dollar bill, not even a debitcard, and they don't have cash
up in Europe.
Did y'all know that?
So nobody couldn't send menothing.
(01:03):
So anyway, I'm going.
So nobody couldn't send menothing.
So anyway, I'm gonna show up.
I might not have any money, Imight be late, I might be a
little sleepy, but I'm gonna bethere.
Parenting up, caregivingadventures with comedian day
smiles is the intense journey ofunexpectedly being fully
responsible for my mama.
For over a decade I've beenchipping away at the unknown,
(01:27):
advocating for her and pushingAlzheimer's awareness on anyone
and anything with a heartbeat.
Spoiler alert I started comedybecause this shit is so heavy,
so be ready for the jokes.
Caregiver newbies, ogs andvillage members just willing to
prop up a caregiver, you are inthe right place.
(01:48):
Hi, this is Zeddy.
I hope you enjoy my daughter'spodcast, is that okay?
Today's supporter shout-outgoes to Portia Bruner.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Hey there, portia Bruner from the Portia Show, so
excited to have an opportunityto brag just a little bit about
one of my favorite and reallythe funniest bites that I know,
ain't you?
You already know Jay Smile?
My goodness, this woman hasbeen on the Portia Show, I think
, 152,000 times and we only do200 episodes a season.
(02:32):
Wait a minute.
Did I say only 200?
Thank you so much for watchingand thank you so much for
supporting this venue.
We want you to be seen, feel,heard, and that's why we bring
women like J Smiles on the show,because she's not just funny.
She's not just a comedian, butshe's a caregiver and she's
taking care of her mother andshe's teaching us so many
(02:53):
lessons.
You've seen how this womantravels the world.
Was she like a captain of aship or something?
At one point on some vacationshe had a little hat on, looking
like the captain.
I was like what is this?
What in the whole entire world?
But that's why we love her,because she is living a really
full and robust life and I'mhappy to be a part of A Day in
the Life with J Smiles.
(03:14):
Woo, I'm for sure.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
A Day in the Life of J Smiles.
This is one of those 36-hourperiods that is real and is raw.
This is caregiving in the fastlane.
It's HOV, with one person inthe car.
You know you're driving so fast, the police not going to catch
(03:42):
you.
Yes, okay, not in this car, Imean like in my car.
I'm not saying that, but yeah.
So like when I woke up yesterday, sandy was having some more
adverse reactions with herseizure medication.
(04:03):
This has been going on for forlike seven months at this point
and I've been battling like inthe trenches back and forth with
the doctors, with the expertsand with the primary care
physicians, trying to let themknow it ain't working.
So there's a certain amount ofanxiety that just lives with me
(04:25):
whenever she's not good.
Then there were meetings andthere were schedules.
My podcast production team andI scheduled two months in
advance that today would be 10hours of podcast recording like
three or four episodes, and allthis beautifulness, recording
like three or four episodes, andall this good beautifulness.
And then I get a wonderfulopportunity to be on television
(04:53):
with less than 24 hours notice.
But hey, stay ready, you ain'tgot to get ready.
And then, if you ain't ready,act ready, just act ready and
put something on.
Okay, my lip ain't on, butit'll be on after I get through
eating this Power Bar.
Thank you for the Power Barthat has something in it that I
can eat that won't make me itchor belch so many Power Bars make
(05:15):
me belch.
Get on stage.
I'm like.
That doesn't work out.
So then I was up all last nightLike I slept like 50 minutes,
like 5-0.
And I don't even think that wasquality If you could sleep
quality, but I don't think I did, because I was getting Zeddy's
schedule.
It's the end of the month, socaregivers want to put in their
(05:38):
time sheet.
So y'all, y'all.
I had caregivers texting metrying to make sure all their
July dates are right.
The care manager in me says, ofcourse, please share it with me
.
Good to lie to me.
The talent in me is like I'mtrying to figure out how to be
(06:04):
on TV tomorrow.
Well, in 11 hours, 10 hours, 9hours, 8 hours, okay, but I do
want to hear what you have tosay, because these are the
people who care for my mama,right?
I don't want to short over themor putting their needs and
(06:29):
their requests secondary to myown, because you never know that
one time you might be a littleshort, get a little slippy,
could be the worst day of theirpersonal lives and it's just
crossing over.
So I'm like you know what Imean, and we on the way up, we
ain't all the way up.
(06:50):
So the podcast production studiostill has to be put together,
assembled and disassembled aboutonce every three and a half
weeks.
So probably assembly would takea process.
And you know, on TV you can'twear what you want to wear.
There are rules.
You can't clash with the host.
(07:10):
You can't clash with whateverthe brand is of the network
you're going with.
You can't wear a brand namethat hadn't been approved.
Y'all know J Smiles, I was allabout wearing white and a whole
bunch of clashing fly colors andthey're like yes, so don't do
none of that.
(07:34):
What am I wearing y'all and Ican't just wear J Smiles' brand,
because that's anyway.
We out here, we out here.
And then I was like, oh, oh, Ialso get a segment to do
stand-up.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
Yeah, I'm going to say something that don't have
nothing to do with the podcastthat I'm also going to record
today.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
Yeah, yeah, and Zay is good, and she didn't want me
to go to bed and it's so hard,it's so difficult, if she's
having a period of lucidness,for me to step away.
And a couple times, around 1 am, she started trying to talk,
(08:23):
first time in like a month.
She was like it's the same asher saying my name, is that
right?
And I was like shit, I'msupposed to be finishing putting
up a podcast or making sure Iknow what I'm going to say
(08:47):
tomorrow.
That's okay, mama.
Yes, that's right.
Whatever you say or thought yousay, of course it's all right.
It's all right.
So, anyway, everybody whowonders how come it's so hard,
(09:22):
jay, for you to RSVP Today.
I had to cancel on myself.
Do you understand that?
That I cancel on myself and onthe team that I'm playing when
you cancel on yourself?
That's what love, that's whatliving, and I'm so grateful for
the opportunity to see localfans.
This is just how we out here,we out here in the streets
(09:44):
outside, in the streets outsideof an open bank.
If I had a penny for every time,I got the question Jay, how do
you do it?
How do you balance being acomedian and being a caregiver?
How do you book gigs, how doyou give speeches, how do you do
(10:07):
this podcast and take care ofZeddy?
First is divine interventionand a really close second.
First is I have a phenomenalteam.
Like I'm not recording myselfright now.
There are people who are hereassisting me and that's exactly
(10:32):
what happened today.
Like the last 36 hours havebeen completely impromptu.
Nothing that I planned came tofruition.
Prompt to Nothing that Iplanned came to fruition.
Ten years ago hell, even threeyears ago, I would have been
(10:52):
stressed and I would have beenfighting it Like wait, I'm
supposed to be doing A, b and C,mad Calling my best friend,
trying to get an emergencysession with my therapist.
I don't know what's going wrong.
I don't know.
Is it God, is the universe?
Is because I've dated that guyback and forth too many times
(11:39):
and I wasn't right?
First thing is is Zeddy remotelystable?
And if she's remotely stableand I'm not in jail, that's just
how bad.
My life has hit rock bottomover and over again over this
last decade.
Plus that's my baseline, y'allI'm not worried about.
(11:59):
Do I have some money?
Did I pay my bills?
No, is Zeddy alive and lookstable?
And am I physically free?
And if that's the case.
I'm like well, let me just keepit all going.
What just happened was sobeautiful.
(12:20):
I can tell the story now.
But the last 36 hours I waslike I don't know when it's
going on and I don't know why.
But what I do know is, if Istop, that is doing a disservice
to how many times the universehas held me up in the past.
(12:41):
I know y'all like with J smilesenough with all of this generic
rhetoric.
What the hell happened?
Ok, zeddy has Been diagnosed asbeing epileptic.
Don't know if y'all knew this,but if you have two seizures
(13:02):
within 24 hours or something,you are defined as epileptic.
It doesn't matter if you don'tever have another one.
Well, zetty had that aboutseven months ago and literally
for the last six months herepilepsy medicine has been wrong
.
Not wrong according to thedoctors, wrong according to J
(13:24):
Smiles.
I'm like my mama is walkingaround here looking like she on
meth.
That's not right.
She's walking hunchback Lookinglike she's one of the people
from Lord of the Rings.
She's already five feet.
(13:44):
So now if my mama is scruncheddown to the point where she fold
two, it's a problem.
I call her name, I say mama,y'all.
This is how she responds,staring off in the distance,
looking like she's thinkingabout a lost loved one Maybe she
is.
All of that freaked me out.
So I started pounding thedoctors and I encourage you all
(14:08):
to do the same.
You know your LOs.
I don't care if them people gotPhDs, mds, lmnops.
Who cares If your LO is worseafter the medicine, f the
medicine.
So I've been fighting withthese people and so 36 hours ago
(14:30):
I started going round and roundwith the epilepsy.
God, I guess he said.
Well, I told you it was goingto cause sedation.
You just got to let her gothrough it for two weeks.
On the other side of it, she'llbe better.
Sir, sir, I've been battling tokeep my mama alive and now you
(14:56):
want me, because of your littlestatistics and something that
the FDA might have told you ingrad school, to have her looking
like she about to pass out.
Her blood pressure skyrocketedbut her sugar dropped.
You know, old people can justfade into death because their
(15:18):
heart rate get too low.
I said let me tell yousomething.
So y'all, I'm not, I'm notsuggesting anybody else does
this.
But I wrote that man in mymama's, my chart and I said hey,
you prescribe 20 milligrams,I'm giving her 10.
And unless you call me back andsay that me giving her 10 is
going to kill her, thank you andhave a good life, that me
(15:44):
giving her a 10 is going to killher.
Thank you and have a good life.
And now I'm waiting to see ifmy mama will be better.
So all that was going on at thetop of yesterday, and then today
, my podcast team, two of thebaddest chicks in the game
Annalise and Mia.
Annalise and Mia we took twomonths to plan where the three
(16:13):
of us could get together andthen I find out I could be on TV
.
They were like J Smiles we havea slot.
We want to make it this.
We want to make it fun.
We need a comedian, not acharacter.
We need a comedian that cancome in off the cuff and riff
with other comedians andsomebody we can trust.
Can you do it?
I was like yes, of course, thisis a call I got yesterday.
(16:34):
Yes, of course, when Tomorrow?
Shit, oh, first thing is thatmeans I got to call my team.
That means I got to quit onmyself.
You know what I mean Likepsychologically.
I got to stare myself up.
I got to be a no-show to my ownpodcast production and I got to
(17:02):
beg my folks, my producer andmy videographer.
You know that all that stuff weplanned for two months and
whatever you did in your lifewith all your friends, family,
clients, manicure, pedicure,movies, dates, whatever, hey,
can you move that?
And while you're moving it, canyou also come still be with me
(17:27):
at the TV studio?
And they were like, uh, hold on.
They never said no To theircredit, never said no, but I
ain't going to lie.
They didn't hold on.
They never said no To theircredit, never said no, but I
ain't going to lie.
They didn't answer as fast onthe text messages as they
(17:49):
usually answer, but that wasvalid, that's valid.
But to prepare, watching my mamalast night because y'all know I
gave her a different medicinethan what the doctor said.
Ok, not a different kind, but adifferent dose.
So I'm super watching her allnight Because the caregivers are
(18:10):
not responsible.
I'm walking in and out of herroom, I'm looking at her.
I'm also setting up forwhatever my podcast team would
be able to do because spoileralert they would normally be
able to get to the studio andset up everything.
I wouldn't have to do that.
(18:31):
Okay, so I'm not a New YorkTimes bestseller yet, but I do
have a podcast team that sets upall the stuff for me.
But hell, if I'm asking them tomeet me at the studio, I can't
also ask them.
Well, hell, if I'm asking themto meet me at the studio, I
can't also ask them.
Well, if I'm asking them tomeet me at the television
station, I can't also expectthem to be at the studio and set
(18:52):
up for our podcast production,which is now gonna happen.
It's gonna Start eight hourslater than it was supposed to.
You know what I'm saying.
So I did it.
Now the jury's still out onwhether or not they're going to
think I did a good job.
So I'll tell you all about thatin an outtake or a reel,
(19:13):
because they may say you knowwhat J Smiles next time you help
the bear, because what you puttogether is trash.
But I tried.
So last night I put hours intosetting it up and getting it
right, hopefully, so we can getin and have a smoother Parenting
Up podcast, our production ofother episodes this evening.
(19:38):
And then the television show,the Porsche show.
They gave me directives.
They didn't say tell this kindof joke, but I know her brand.
I know her personally.
I've come to know her becauseshe went to Howard she's a
Howard Bison and she told mewhat it would be about Like.
(20:04):
And so now I got two minutes totry to come up with and these
two television minutes and forany of you who haven't done
television whatever, let's thinkof it like this what if you had
an outfit to go to brunch withyour crew, male or female?
(20:26):
Or if the dudes you about to goto cigars?
You got your outfit to go docigars and play pool with the
boys.
And if you're a chick, you gotyour brunch outfit, and then,
all of a sudden, you find outthat there's no brunch and
there's no cigars.
You're going to the White Housebut the mall is closed.
(20:49):
You know what I'm saying?
Like you got to flip.
You got to flip.
Who are you talking to, whatyou talking about and what you
wearing.
They gave me Wardrobe don't do's.
All of the wardrobe don't do'sare my do's.
Don't wear white.
Y'all know J Smiles.
(21:10):
All I wear is white.
I wear white bottom, white top.
They might think I'm a whitegirl by the time I get through
putting all that damn white on.
And no black and nomulticolcolored bold prints.
Anybody who has been to myoutside, been open, shows my
whole top looks like granimalsor a crossword puzzle threw up
(21:36):
with me, threw up on me withcrayolaola markers.
I said, damn, that's my wholecloset, that's all my gear.
What am I going to do?
Still go check on Zeddy, I meanbecause right now it's about 2
am.
I got to roll with me on thisbecause I didn't get the call to
about two or three in theafternoon, not like it started
(21:58):
eight in the morning.
So I had done all the stuffthat don't even matter.
No more All that stuff.
Tony, I'm looking at that likeshit.
Why'd I bother do any of that?
Had to call my brow lady hey,are you in town?
I need to get threaded.
Not only she said hey, not onlyam I not in Atlanta, I'm in
(22:18):
Mexico.
Boo, I need y'all to know.
Nobody has touched my browssince my daddy died.
But this lady and she said I'llbe back, you know, in three
days.
I was like I'm going to be on TVtomorrow.
She said, oh shit, okay, shewas like my best friend, jay
(22:43):
smiles.
Please go to my best friend.
This is her information.
You can trust her.
She knows that I, you know, Iwas like what?
And then I called my nail peopleand they were like what do you
mean?
It's already three, 30.
You got to come in today.
Yes, I have to come in today,I'm going to be on TV tomorrow.
And they were like you got tocome in today, yes, I have to
(23:05):
come in today, I'm going to beon TV tomorrow.
And they were like what?
Now?
First of all, you got tounderstand, and I can, I can
feel it in their tone.
It's like you lying, jake, likeif you're supposed to be on TV,
you should know before today,you should know before four
(23:30):
o'clock the day before.
Well, maybe, maybe in otherpeople land, in the other people
land, it might work that way.
But in J Smiles comedy,parenting up, caregiving land
this is how it's been rollingsince the beginning.
Be flexible and nimble, my child, if not the silver lining or
(24:00):
the purple lining, becausethat's the color for Alzheimer's
I got Fifty minutes of sleep,five zero 10 minutes, less than
an hour.
I was nervous, I was worried, Iwas like, oh my God, my brain
is not even going to be awakeenough to be witty or to be
(24:24):
spontaneous, which is the kindof comedy they wanted.
Because I asked them is there atheme you want me to talk about
or stay away from?
They said, no, jay, just comein and spitball with the other
comedians.
What I sleep long enough tospitball.
I told my team I think, ok, Ineed a Coca-Cola and I need to
(24:44):
just kind of get my mind rightso that I can clear my mind
enough to then allow theuniverse and the Holy Spirit to
just put stuff in it as needed.
Y'all, I walk into the greenroom.
Y'all, I walk into the greenroom First thing.
No, I walk into the station.
(25:07):
I'm walking up the steps.
The executive producer iscoming down the steps and she
said I've been looking for you.
I left my office early to comedown and give you a hug.
What I wish y'all could see myface, where they do that at.
(25:29):
She said, okay, go ahead to thegreen room.
I'm going back upstairs now.
I just wanted to catch youbefore you got camera ready.
I was like, okay, all right.
Universe, all right, ancestors,okay, okay, okay, okay, okay,
they really want me here.
All right, all right, ok, letme do this, let me do this, let
me do this.
I walk into the green room.
Chase smiles.
Of course you'll be here.
(25:50):
Hell yeah, girl.
What's up, what's up, what's up.
And it is the biggest love festwith me and comedian Kelly Kells
.
If you don't know her, you'rewelcome in advance.
Kelly K-E-L-L-Y, k-e-l-l-z.
She's phenomenal, full ofenergy, super positive.
(26:14):
She's killing it all over theUnited States.
She gives me a big hug then andthen, um, your fly auntie says
I'm y'all's soul roar too.
I hadn't even met her before,so I don't even know how she
(26:36):
whatever, it doesn't matter,because Kelly and I didn't say
we were deltas, we just startedhugging.
She said I'm y'all, so righttoo.
She all leaned in and she waslooking gorgeous and she's a lot
taller than me.
So her lean in.
You know I was like right, youwin, that's big energy.
And he go, this big ass hug backturns out she has a phenomenal
(26:58):
story of overcoming.
Anyway, look her up.
But she's out here doing bigthings, big positive things and
making sure that other peopleknow.
Not only are you not alone, thebig thing is, you always have
your damn self.
Her story to me sound like quitlooking around for somebody
(27:22):
else to come do something foryou.
You got you and figure outwhatever it is inside of you
that can help you do the thingyou need.
It was pretty amazing.
I turn, I look around and thenI'm like I know so damn well,
that can't be her.
I know.
(27:42):
So I'm spinning in circles, I'mlike I know so damn, that ain't
her, the infamous Coco Brown.
I mean Comic View, tyler Perry,netflix.
She got a Netflix special,y'all.
I go to hug her and stand upand she's like I remember you.
I'm sorry, coco Brown, did yousay you remember up?
(28:03):
And she's like I remember you.
I'm sorry, coco Brown, did yousay you remember me?
She's like haven't we met?
I'm like, yeah, I remember whenwe met, I got the selfies in my
phone.
The point is, you remember me,listen, y'all, she can call
Tyler Perry, she can call Oprah.
Do you understand what I'msaying?
She could call Jimmy Kimmel,like now.
(28:26):
And she and she was like, yeah.
And then she ran down the othercomedians that were on the show
and I said, yeah, I've beentrying to, I've been, I've been
wanting to be with you and talkto you and ask questions and
mentor you.
And she was like but whathappened?
I said, well, some of thepeople that I knew, that knew
you, said you were really busy.
(28:47):
She was like today is the day,yo.
She started sharing her storywith me.
She was a caregiver for both herparents.
I didn't know that they nowhave their wings, both of them.
She's going to be on theParenting Up podcast and she's
(29:10):
going to be my comedy mentor.
Look, in that part she offered.
I didn't even have to force,but I did a little bit kind of
say, you know, you got to be onmy podcast and she kind of
looked.
I was like okay, anyway, let metell you what the podcast is,
cause I can only imagine howmany people have asked Coco
Brown and it's C-O-C-O-A Coco.
There's an A on there.
(29:31):
I'm talking fast, but just makesure you put an A on there.
Coco Brown, I can.
She kills the game and she's areal actor.
She's an actor and a stand-upcomedian.
She didn't even have to let mefinish the conversation but she
(29:53):
said well, what's your podcastabout?
The minute I said parenting up,I'm a caregiver, she was like
done.
I was like but let me, I justlike says done, and Whoever it
was that knows me, that didn'tlet us meet earlier.
She said I apologize, don'thold it against them and don't
(30:15):
hold it against me.
I'm not that kind of person andI was like Yo the energy and
Kelly Kells that's my soror.
I've known her for years but Ihadn't seen her live in a minute
.
That energy was crazy.
She was like Jay.
(30:35):
What are we going to do?
We need to start talking everyday.
We need to start talking everyday.
We need to build somethingtogether.
Let's make a movie, let's makesome skits.
What are we doing?
Let's keep each other lifted.
I'm like bet let's get it.
(30:57):
And Mr Floyd Y'all know Mr FloydSmooth, mr Floyd, mr Palmer
Williams Jr that man is sofreaking funny off the cuff,
it's hilarious.
He is the person that you don'twant to sit next to at the
opera, in church, at the DMV,anywhere where you're going to
(31:20):
get in trouble Because he isgoing to not, if he, he is going
to say something witty, quickand inappropriate about every 37
seconds.
Shout out to my line sisters,and what you're going to do?
Nothing, you're going to laughand he has a poker face looking
like I don't know why they laughand what just happened.
(31:42):
It was a pleasure to meet himtoo.
He was so affable.
This dude has been in so muchstuff on TV and movies, but he
was so willing also to mentorand engage me.
As it turns out, he's been acaregiver.
(32:03):
I'm going to need y'all to goahead and if you're driving or
you're walking or you're in theshower, just pause for a second
and add up how the green roomwent for me in the first three
minutes.
Oh, no, no, let's add how Iwalked in and the executive
producer came down the steps topersonally greet me before I
(32:25):
went to the green room and thenfour people three of them
phenomenally successfulcomedians show love and say they
want to do business.
(32:46):
So I look back over the last 36hours and I say, okay, how did
this all happen?
Why did it happen?
Shit, I don't know.
I don't know.
But what I do know is this I ama master of showing up.
(33:07):
I show up, I might be sleepy, Imight be late, I might not have
any cash on me.
I have been to Europe twicepeople with no wallet and no
cash.
How you get all the way toEurope, jade, that's another
(33:27):
whole thing.
But you know, delta got theflyer ready and digital,
whatever.
I showed my passport and theyshowed my face and got on the
thing and I didn't have I meanno money, not one single US
dollar bill, not even a debitcard, and they don't have cash
up in Europe.
Did y'all know that?
So nobody couldn't send menothing.
(33:49):
So, anyway, I'm gonna show up.
I might not have any money, Imight be late, I might be a
little sleepy, but but I'm goingto be there.
And what the universecontinuously shows me is, jay,
show up and be open, be readyfor the opportunity.
I came here to fulfill therequest to be a comedian.
(34:15):
I turned my professionalschedule inside out for another
talent's professional schedule.
Of course it's a greatopportunity for me to be on
television.
But let me tell you this If Ididn't believe in the Portia
(34:36):
show Portia Bruna's brand andher team's brand I don't give a
damn about being on TV at all Iwould have said no.
I said yes because of what theteam stands for, what they've
done and what they're building.
She's done two seasons.
It's in syndication, I thinkit's in four or five major
(34:59):
cities and I think come seasonthree is going to expand even
more.
The universe patted me on theback and gave me a big warm hug
back and gave me a big warm hug.
(35:20):
I feel like I was seen and Iwas rewarded for moving on faith
.
Without sight, I ain't havebreakfast.
I did shower because I didn'tknow how close people were going
to be to me and thank God I didbecause people, we were really
tight in that green room.
So my, I don't even know if Ipersonally have a takeaway, but
I wanted to share in real timekind of what a day in the life
(35:45):
can feel like and how fast on adime shit can change for me and
it's not even over like and howfast on a dime shit can change
for me, and it's not even over.
My podcast team and I are aboutto go to our studio and shoot
some episodes that you all willsee and hear in the next month
or so.
But the caregiving and careerbalance is real for me.
(36:12):
Caregiving is the way I honormy mother and I have to always
figure out how to make it work.
But even in honoring her I haveto acknowledge myself, my
(36:36):
dreams and my hopes, because Tonot do that it almost would be
like slapping my mom in the face.
She went through too much.
(36:56):
She did too much for me to notput effort into pursuing what I
believe my purpose is here onearth, so every 36 hours doesn't
look and feel like this butit's a whole lot more of them
than I actually put on video.
Peace, the snuggle ups.
(37:22):
Number one don't worry aboutwhat you don't know right now.
When you need to know it, whenyou have to have it some kind of
way, the universe will makesure that it gets done.
It's amazing.
The last 36 hours were nuts-ola.
It was the epitome of myfavorite roller coaster ride.
(37:43):
You get to the top.
You're like uh-oh, ch-ka-ch-ka,ch-ka-ch-ka, ch-ka-ch-ka.
That almost sounds like a tututrain.
But that's me trying to get tothe top.
I'm trying to simulate gettingto the top of the roller coaster
.
Then you're up there inanticipation of, oh, my God.
Then you're on your way down.
You're like, ah, scared andhappy.
(38:08):
Then you get to the bottom.
You're like whew, that's over.
And now you're on your way backup to the top of the next hill
With only 50 minutes of sleep.
The day before me was daunting.
Would I perform well on the TVshow?
Who all would I meet?
How would it go down?
What was going on with Zeddy?
Would she be okay?
(38:29):
Would I be able to record all Ineed to record later in the day
for the podcast, for thepodcast production?
Ah Well, it worked.
It worked out.
Every five minutes there was anew level of stress or some kind
(38:52):
of concern.
But but that sixth minute, thatsixth minute, an answer came in
a person, or just in me,letting go of the stress of the
need to know yeah, try it.
(39:14):
Number two nothing replaceshaving a good team, cannot and
(39:36):
will not do life alone, and thatgoes doubly so as a caregiver.
My production team came through, so huge.
They showed up and assisted meon site at the television studio
(39:57):
, all the footage we were ableto get, and then helping me
mentally and emotionally manage.
But whatever they had to movearound in their personal and
professional lives with theirother clients, I didn't even
(40:18):
know about it.
You know what I mean.
I didn't get one teeth sucked,one slam of a telephone.
Hell, you can't even slam atelephone, no more.
I guess that would have been amental frustration.
There was no pushback,everybody just got it done.
(40:43):
Zeddy's caregiver stepped up,did extra, her trainer did extra
.
Oh, my God, Needing and havinga team.
Oh, you need a team and youneed to have a good one.
(41:08):
So if you got people on yourteam that are not really helping
, you replace them as soon asyou can.
I was even texting my closestfriends throughout the day
without all this stuff going onand said, oh my God, this
happened.
Oh my God, this happened.
And they're sending emojis.
Jay, you got this.
You can do this.
You got this.
(41:28):
Let me tell you about a goodteam Number three you never know
who's watching.
Mean what you say, say what youmean.
(41:50):
Keep your brand authentic, trueand honest to who you are.
So when I got the call to be onthe television show, it was a
(42:15):
phenomenal opportunity.
But I was able to get a calllike that because the producers
and executive producers of theshow followed me and trusted my
brand.
They trusted what I would doand how I would perform and also
(42:36):
what I would not do.
You know what I mean.
It's also good that people knowwhat you will not do, what your
social media will not have onit and what you will not say or
do that could harm theirreputation.
That meant a lot to me.
(42:57):
It meant a lot to me that theywould know that they could trust
me to stand in the gap and makeit happen.
Speaker 2 (43:07):
That's a big deal.
Speaker 1 (43:12):
When you're good to people and good is relative you
know what could be good to meyou might think oh damn, Jade,
is your bar that low?
I need people to do way morefor me before I would consider
that being good.
My overall perspective on it iseverything matters.
(43:38):
Nothing is so small that it'sinsignificant.
So, whatever you're posting, ifyou text people back, if you
see them in the mall, all ofthose interactions make a
difference.
Yep, and it led to me having aspectacularly impactful and
(44:09):
energy-filled day impactful andenergy-filled day.
I could sleep for a week.
What's up y'all?
I'm over here just mixing andscratching up stuff and
reminding y'all Patreon is open.
(44:29):
It is open and ready for you,you, you, you and your mama too.
We are loading up things, allthings Zetty, all things
podcasts, all things caregivingbehind the scenes, extra stuff.
J Smile's comedy is droppingwith her own little collection
(44:50):
within the J Smile StudioPatreon Very, very soon.
It'll be less than a month, butyou want to go on and get in
there because there's exclusives.
That's kind of time sensitiveto whoever is in there first.
We've already had livebroadcasts for people who are
already in and I'm going to behonest Because of, you know,
(45:14):
branding matters.
So there's some stuff that Ijust can't say and do on the
World Wide Web that I can do inthe Patreon pantry pantry.
So if you want to see and knowand hear and experience more of
(45:35):
what's happening between my ears, come to the J Smile studio, my
Patreon pantry.
So I look back over the last 36 hours and I say, ok,
how did this all happen?
Why did it happen?
Shit, I don't know.
I don't know.
But what I do know is this I ama master of showing up.
(00:21):
I show up.
I might be sleepy, I might belate, I might not have any cash
on me.
I have been to Europe twicepeople with no wallet and no
cash.
How you get all the way toEurope?
Jade, that's another wholething.
(00:42):
But you know, delta got the flyready and digital, whatever.
I showed my passport and theyshowed my face and got on the
thing and I didn't have no, Imean no money, not one single US
dollar bill, not even a debitcard, and they don't have cash
up in Europe.
Did y'all know that?
So nobody couldn't send menothing.
(01:03):
So anyway, I'm going.
So nobody couldn't send menothing.
So anyway, I'm gonna show up.
I might not have any money, Imight be late, I might be a
little sleepy, but I'm gonna bethere.
Parenting up, caregivingadventures with comedian day
smiles is the intense journey ofunexpectedly being fully
responsible for my mama.
For over a decade I've beenchipping away at the unknown,
(01:27):
advocating for her and pushingAlzheimer's awareness on anyone
and anything with a heartbeat.
Spoiler alert I started comedybecause this shit is so heavy,
so be ready for the jokes.
Caregiver newbies, ogs andvillage members just willing to
prop up a caregiver, you are inthe right place.
(01:48):
Hi, this is Zeddy.
I hope you enjoy my daughter'spodcast, is that okay?
Today's supporter shout-outgoes to Portia Bruner.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Hey there, portia Bruner from the Portia Show, so
excited to have an opportunityto brag just a little bit about
one of my favorite and reallythe funniest bites that I know,
ain't you?
You already know Jay Smile?
My goodness, this woman hasbeen on the Portia Show, I think
, 152,000 times and we only do200 episodes a season.
(02:32):
Wait a minute.
Did I say only 200?
Thank you so much for watchingand thank you so much for
supporting this venue.
We want you to be seen, feel,heard, and that's why we bring
women like J Smiles on the show,because she's not just funny.
She's not just a comedian, butshe's a caregiver and she's
taking care of her mother andshe's teaching us so many
(02:53):
lessons.
You've seen how this womantravels the world.
Was she like a captain of aship or something?
At one point on some vacationshe had a little hat on, looking
like the captain.
I was like what is this?
What in the whole entire world?
But that's why we love her,because she is living a really
full and robust life and I'mhappy to be a part of A Day in
the Life with J Smiles.
(03:14):
Woo, I'm for sure.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
A Day in the Life of J Smiles.
This is one of those 36-hourperiods that is real and is raw.
This is caregiving in the fastlane.
It's HOV, with one person inthe car.
You know you're driving so fast, the police not going to catch
(03:42):
you.
Yes, okay, not in this car, Imean like in my car.
I'm not saying that, but yeah.
So like when I woke up yesterday, sandy was having some more
adverse reactions with herseizure medication.
(04:03):
This has been going on for forlike seven months at this point
and I've been battling like inthe trenches back and forth with
the doctors, with the expertsand with the primary care
physicians, trying to let themknow it ain't working.
So there's a certain amount ofanxiety that just lives with me
(04:25):
whenever she's not good.
Then there were meetings andthere were schedules.
My podcast production team andI scheduled two months in
advance that today would be 10hours of podcast recording like
three or four episodes, and allthis beautifulness, recording
like three or four episodes, andall this good beautifulness.
And then I get a wonderfulopportunity to be on television
(04:53):
with less than 24 hours notice.
But hey, stay ready, you ain'tgot to get ready.
And then, if you ain't ready,act ready, just act ready and
put something on.
Okay, my lip ain't on, butit'll be on after I get through
eating this Power Bar.
Thank you for the Power Barthat has something in it that I
can eat that won't make me itchor belch so many Power Bars make
(05:15):
me belch.
Get on stage.
I'm like.
That doesn't work out.
So then I was up all last nightLike I slept like 50 minutes,
like 5-0.
And I don't even think that wasquality If you could sleep
quality, but I don't think I did, because I was getting Zeddy's
schedule.
It's the end of the month, socaregivers want to put in their
(05:38):
time sheet.
So y'all, y'all.
I had caregivers texting metrying to make sure all their
July dates are right.
The care manager in me says, ofcourse, please share it with me
.
Good to lie to me.
The talent in me is like I'mtrying to figure out how to be
(06:04):
on TV tomorrow.
Well, in 11 hours, 10 hours, 9hours, 8 hours, okay, but I do
want to hear what you have tosay, because these are the
people who care for my mama,right?
I don't want to short over themor putting their needs and
(06:29):
their requests secondary to myown, because you never know that
one time you might be a littleshort, get a little slippy,
could be the worst day of theirpersonal lives and it's just
crossing over.
So I'm like you know what Imean, and we on the way up, we
ain't all the way up.
(06:50):
So the podcast production studiostill has to be put together,
assembled and disassembled aboutonce every three and a half
weeks.
So probably assembly would takea process.
And you know, on TV you can'twear what you want to wear.
There are rules.
You can't clash with the host.
(07:10):
You can't clash with whateverthe brand is of the network
you're going with.
You can't wear a brand namethat hadn't been approved.
Y'all know J Smiles, I was allabout wearing white and a whole
bunch of clashing fly colors andthey're like yes, so don't do
none of that.
(07:34):
What am I wearing y'all and Ican't just wear J Smiles' brand,
because that's anyway.
We out here, we out here.
And then I was like, oh, oh, Ialso get a segment to do
stand-up.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
Yeah, I'm going to say something that don't have
nothing to do with the podcastthat I'm also going to record
today.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
Yeah, yeah, and Zay is good, and she didn't want me
to go to bed and it's so hard,it's so difficult, if she's
having a period of lucidness,for me to step away.
And a couple times, around 1 am, she started trying to talk,
(08:23):
first time in like a month.
She was like it's the same asher saying my name, is that
right?
And I was like shit, I'msupposed to be finishing putting
up a podcast or making sure Iknow what I'm going to say
(08:47):
tomorrow.
That's okay, mama.
Yes, that's right.
Whatever you say or thought yousay, of course it's all right.
It's all right.
So, anyway, everybody whowonders how come it's so hard,
(09:22):
jay, for you to RSVP Today.
I had to cancel on myself.
Do you understand that?
That I cancel on myself and onthe team that I'm playing when
you cancel on yourself?
That's what love, that's whatliving, and I'm so grateful for
the opportunity to see localfans.
This is just how we out here,we out here in the streets
(09:44):
outside, in the streets outsideof an open bank.
If I had a penny for every time,I got the question Jay, how do
you do it?
How do you balance being acomedian and being a caregiver?
How do you book gigs, how doyou give speeches, how do you do
(10:07):
this podcast and take care ofZeddy?
First is divine interventionand a really close second.
First is I have a phenomenalteam.
Like I'm not recording myselfright now.
There are people who are hereassisting me and that's exactly
(10:32):
what happened today.
Like the last 36 hours havebeen completely impromptu.
Nothing that I planned came tofruition.
Prompt to Nothing that Iplanned came to fruition.
Ten years ago hell, even threeyears ago, I would have been
(10:52):
stressed and I would have beenfighting it Like wait, I'm
supposed to be doing A, b and C,mad Calling my best friend,
trying to get an emergencysession with my therapist.
I don't know what's going wrong.
I don't know.
Is it God, is the universe?
Is because I've dated that guyback and forth too many times
(11:39):
and I wasn't right?
First thing is is Zeddy remotelystable?
And if she's remotely stableand I'm not in jail, that's just
how bad.
My life has hit rock bottomover and over again over this
last decade.
Plus that's my baseline, y'allI'm not worried about.
(11:59):
Do I have some money?
Did I pay my bills?
No, is Zeddy alive and lookstable?
And am I physically free?
And if that's the case.
I'm like well, let me just keepit all going.
What just happened was sobeautiful.
(12:20):
I can tell the story now.
But the last 36 hours I waslike I don't know when it's
going on and I don't know why.
But what I do know is, if Istop, that is doing a disservice
to how many times the universehas held me up in the past.
(12:41):
I know y'all like with J smilesenough with all of this generic
rhetoric.
What the hell happened?
Ok, zeddy has Been diagnosed asbeing epileptic.
Don't know if y'all knew this,but if you have two seizures
(13:02):
within 24 hours or something,you are defined as epileptic.
It doesn't matter if you don'tever have another one.
Well, zetty had that aboutseven months ago and literally
for the last six months herepilepsy medicine has been wrong
.
Not wrong according to thedoctors, wrong according to J
(13:24):
Smiles.
I'm like my mama is walkingaround here looking like she on
meth.
That's not right.
She's walking hunchback Lookinglike she's one of the people
from Lord of the Rings.
She's already five feet.
(13:44):
So now if my mama is scruncheddown to the point where she fold
two, it's a problem.
I call her name, I say mama,y'all.
This is how she responds,staring off in the distance,
looking like she's thinkingabout a lost loved one Maybe she
is.
All of that freaked me out.
So I started pounding thedoctors and I encourage you all
(14:08):
to do the same.
You know your LOs.
I don't care if them people gotPhDs, mds, lmnops.
Who cares If your LO is worseafter the medicine, f the
medicine.
So I've been fighting withthese people and so 36 hours ago
(14:30):
I started going round and roundwith the epilepsy.
God, I guess he said.
Well, I told you it was goingto cause sedation.
You just got to let her gothrough it for two weeks.
On the other side of it, she'llbe better.
Sir, sir, I've been battling tokeep my mama alive and now you
(14:56):
want me, because of your littlestatistics and something that
the FDA might have told you ingrad school, to have her looking
like she about to pass out.
Her blood pressure skyrocketedbut her sugar dropped.
You know, old people can justfade into death because their
(15:18):
heart rate get too low.
I said let me tell yousomething.
So y'all, I'm not, I'm notsuggesting anybody else does
this.
But I wrote that man in mymama's, my chart and I said hey,
you prescribe 20 milligrams,I'm giving her 10.
And unless you call me back andsay that me giving her 10 is
going to kill her, thank you andhave a good life, that me
(15:44):
giving her a 10 is going to killher.
Thank you and have a good life.
And now I'm waiting to see ifmy mama will be better.
So all that was going on at thetop of yesterday, and then today
, my podcast team, two of thebaddest chicks in the game
Annalise and Mia.
Annalise and Mia we took twomonths to plan where the three
(16:13):
of us could get together andthen I find out I could be on TV
.
They were like J Smiles we havea slot.
We want to make it this.
We want to make it fun.
We need a comedian, not acharacter.
We need a comedian that cancome in off the cuff and riff
with other comedians andsomebody we can trust.
Can you do it?
I was like yes, of course, thisis a call I got yesterday.
(16:34):
Yes, of course, when Tomorrow?
Shit, oh, first thing is thatmeans I got to call my team.
That means I got to quit onmyself.
You know what I mean Likepsychologically.
I got to stare myself up.
I got to be a no-show to my ownpodcast production and I got to
(17:02):
beg my folks, my producer andmy videographer.
You know that all that stuff weplanned for two months and
whatever you did in your lifewith all your friends, family,
clients, manicure, pedicure,movies, dates, whatever, hey,
can you move that?
And while you're moving it, canyou also come still be with me
(17:27):
at the TV studio?
And they were like, uh, hold on.
They never said no To theircredit, never said no, but I
ain't going to lie.
They didn't hold on.
They never said no To theircredit, never said no, but I
ain't going to lie.
They didn't answer as fast onthe text messages as they
(17:49):
usually answer, but that wasvalid, that's valid.
But to prepare, watching my mamalast night because y'all know I
gave her a different medicinethan what the doctor said.
Ok, not a different kind, but adifferent dose.
So I'm super watching her allnight Because the caregivers are
(18:10):
not responsible.
I'm walking in and out of herroom, I'm looking at her.
I'm also setting up forwhatever my podcast team would
be able to do because spoileralert they would normally be
able to get to the studio andset up everything.
I wouldn't have to do that.
(18:31):
Okay, so I'm not a New YorkTimes bestseller yet, but I do
have a podcast team that sets upall the stuff for me.
But hell, if I'm asking them tomeet me at the studio, I can't
also ask them.
Well, hell, if I'm asking themto meet me at the studio, I
can't also ask them.
Well, if I'm asking them tomeet me at the television
station, I can't also expectthem to be at the studio and set
(18:52):
up for our podcast production,which is now gonna happen.
It's gonna Start eight hourslater than it was supposed to.
You know what I'm saying.
So I did it.
Now the jury's still out onwhether or not they're going to
think I did a good job.
So I'll tell you all about thatin an outtake or a reel,
(19:13):
because they may say you knowwhat J Smiles next time you help
the bear, because what you puttogether is trash.
But I tried.
So last night I put hours intosetting it up and getting it
right, hopefully, so we can getin and have a smoother Parenting
Up podcast, our production ofother episodes this evening.
(19:38):
And then the television show,the Porsche show.
They gave me directives.
They didn't say tell this kindof joke, but I know her brand.
I know her personally.
I've come to know her becauseshe went to Howard she's a
Howard Bison and she told mewhat it would be about Like.
(20:04):
And so now I got two minutes totry to come up with and these
two television minutes and forany of you who haven't done
television whatever, let's thinkof it like this what if you had
an outfit to go to brunch withyour crew, male or female?
(20:26):
Or if the dudes you about to goto cigars?
You got your outfit to go docigars and play pool with the
boys.
And if you're a chick, you gotyour brunch outfit, and then,
all of a sudden, you find outthat there's no brunch and
there's no cigars.
You're going to the White Housebut the mall is closed.
(20:49):
You know what I'm saying?
Like you got to flip.
You got to flip.
Who are you talking to, whatyou talking about and what you
wearing.
They gave me Wardrobe don't do's.
All of the wardrobe don't do'sare my do's.
Don't wear white.
Y'all know J Smiles.
(21:10):
All I wear is white.
I wear white bottom, white top.
They might think I'm a whitegirl by the time I get through
putting all that damn white on.
And no black and nomulticolcolored bold prints.
Anybody who has been to myoutside, been open, shows my
whole top looks like granimalsor a crossword puzzle threw up
(21:36):
with me, threw up on me withcrayolaola markers.
I said, damn, that's my wholecloset, that's all my gear.
What am I going to do?
Still go check on Zeddy, I meanbecause right now it's about 2
am.
I got to roll with me on thisbecause I didn't get the call to
about two or three in theafternoon, not like it started
(21:58):
eight in the morning.
So I had done all the stuffthat don't even matter.
No more All that stuff.
Tony, I'm looking at that likeshit.
Why'd I bother do any of that?
Had to call my brow lady hey,are you in town?
I need to get threaded.
Not only she said hey, not onlyam I not in Atlanta, I'm in
(22:18):
Mexico.
Boo, I need y'all to know.
Nobody has touched my browssince my daddy died.
But this lady and she said I'llbe back, you know, in three
days.
I was like I'm going to be on TVtomorrow.
She said, oh shit, okay, shewas like my best friend, jay
(22:43):
smiles.
Please go to my best friend.
This is her information.
You can trust her.
She knows that I, you know, Iwas like what?
And then I called my nail peopleand they were like what do you
mean?
It's already three, 30.
You got to come in today.
Yes, I have to come in today,I'm going to be on TV tomorrow.
And they were like you got tocome in today, yes, I have to
(23:05):
come in today, I'm going to beon TV tomorrow.
And they were like what?
Now?
First of all, you got tounderstand, and I can, I can
feel it in their tone.
It's like you lying, jake, likeif you're supposed to be on TV,
you should know before today,you should know before four
(23:30):
o'clock the day before.
Well, maybe, maybe in otherpeople land, in the other people
land, it might work that way.
But in J Smiles comedy,parenting up, caregiving land
this is how it's been rollingsince the beginning.
Be flexible and nimble, my child, if not the silver lining or
(24:00):
the purple lining, becausethat's the color for Alzheimer's
I got Fifty minutes of sleep,five zero 10 minutes, less than
an hour.
I was nervous, I was worried, Iwas like, oh my God, my brain
is not even going to be awakeenough to be witty or to be
(24:24):
spontaneous, which is the kindof comedy they wanted.
Because I asked them is there atheme you want me to talk about
or stay away from?
They said, no, jay, just comein and spitball with the other
comedians.
What I sleep long enough tospitball.
I told my team I think, ok, Ineed a Coca-Cola and I need to
(24:44):
just kind of get my mind rightso that I can clear my mind
enough to then allow theuniverse and the Holy Spirit to
just put stuff in it as needed.
Y'all, I walk into the greenroom.
Y'all, I walk into the greenroom First thing.
No, I walk into the station.
(25:07):
I'm walking up the steps.
The executive producer iscoming down the steps and she
said I've been looking for you.
I left my office early to comedown and give you a hug.
What I wish y'all could see myface, where they do that at.
(25:29):
She said, okay, go ahead to thegreen room.
I'm going back upstairs now.
I just wanted to catch youbefore you got camera ready.
I was like, okay, all right.
Universe, all right, ancestors,okay, okay, okay, okay, okay,
they really want me here.
All right, all right, ok, letme do this, let me do this, let
me do this.
I walk into the green room.
Chase smiles.
Of course you'll be here.
(25:50):
Hell yeah, girl.
What's up, what's up, what's up.
And it is the biggest love festwith me and comedian Kelly Kells
.
If you don't know her, you'rewelcome in advance.
Kelly K-E-L-L-Y, k-e-l-l-z.
She's phenomenal, full ofenergy, super positive.
(26:14):
She's killing it all over theUnited States.
She gives me a big hug then andthen, um, your fly auntie says
I'm y'all's soul roar too.
I hadn't even met her before,so I don't even know how she
(26:36):
whatever, it doesn't matter,because Kelly and I didn't say
we were deltas, we just startedhugging.
She said I'm y'all, so righttoo.
She all leaned in and she waslooking gorgeous and she's a lot
taller than me.
So her lean in.
You know I was like right, youwin, that's big energy.
And he go, this big ass hug backturns out she has a phenomenal
(26:58):
story of overcoming.
Anyway, look her up.
But she's out here doing bigthings, big positive things and
making sure that other peopleknow.
Not only are you not alone, thebig thing is, you always have
your damn self.
Her story to me sound like quitlooking around for somebody
(27:22):
else to come do something foryou.
You got you and figure outwhatever it is inside of you
that can help you do the thingyou need.
It was pretty amazing.
I turn, I look around and thenI'm like I know so damn well,
that can't be her.
I know.
(27:42):
So I'm spinning in circles, I'mlike I know so damn, that ain't
her, the infamous Coco Brown.
I mean Comic View, tyler Perry,netflix.
She got a Netflix special,y'all.
I go to hug her and stand upand she's like I remember you.
I'm sorry, coco Brown, did yousay you remember up?
(28:03):
And she's like I remember you.
I'm sorry, coco Brown, did yousay you remember me?
She's like haven't we met?
I'm like, yeah, I remember whenwe met, I got the selfies in my
phone.
The point is, you remember me,listen, y'all, she can call
Tyler Perry, she can call Oprah.
Do you understand what I'msaying?
She could call Jimmy Kimmel,like now.
(28:26):
And she and she was like, yeah.
And then she ran down the othercomedians that were on the show
and I said, yeah, I've beentrying to, I've been, I've been
wanting to be with you and talkto you and ask questions and
mentor you.
And she was like but whathappened?
I said, well, some of thepeople that I knew, that knew
you, said you were really busy.
(28:47):
She was like today is the day,yo.
She started sharing her storywith me.
She was a caregiver for both herparents.
I didn't know that they nowhave their wings, both of them.
She's going to be on theParenting Up podcast and she's
(29:10):
going to be my comedy mentor.
Look, in that part she offered.
I didn't even have to force,but I did a little bit kind of
say, you know, you got to be onmy podcast and she kind of
looked.
I was like okay, anyway, let metell you what the podcast is,
cause I can only imagine howmany people have asked Coco
Brown and it's C-O-C-O-A Coco.
There's an A on there.
(29:31):
I'm talking fast, but just makesure you put an A on there.
Coco Brown, I can.
She kills the game and she's areal actor.
She's an actor and a stand-upcomedian.
She didn't even have to let mefinish the conversation but she
(29:53):
said well, what's your podcastabout?
The minute I said parenting up,I'm a caregiver, she was like
done.
I was like but let me, I justlike says done, and Whoever it
was that knows me, that didn'tlet us meet earlier.
She said I apologize, don'thold it against them and don't
(30:15):
hold it against me.
I'm not that kind of person andI was like Yo the energy and
Kelly Kells that's my soror.
I've known her for years but Ihadn't seen her live in a minute
.
That energy was crazy.
She was like Jay.
(30:35):
What are we going to do?
We need to start talking everyday.
We need to start talking everyday.
We need to build somethingtogether.
Let's make a movie, let's makesome skits.
What are we doing?
Let's keep each other lifted.
I'm like bet let's get it.
(30:57):
And Mr Floyd Y'all know Mr FloydSmooth, mr Floyd, mr Palmer
Williams Jr that man is sofreaking funny off the cuff,
it's hilarious.
He is the person that you don'twant to sit next to at the
opera, in church, at the DMV,anywhere where you're going to
(31:20):
get in trouble Because he isgoing to not, if he, he is going
to say something witty, quickand inappropriate about every 37
seconds.
Shout out to my line sisters,and what you're going to do?
Nothing, you're going to laughand he has a poker face looking
like I don't know why they laughand what just happened.
(31:42):
It was a pleasure to meet himtoo.
He was so affable.
This dude has been in so muchstuff on TV and movies, but he
was so willing also to mentorand engage me.
As it turns out, he's been acaregiver.
(32:03):
I'm going to need y'all to goahead and if you're driving or
you're walking or you're in theshower, just pause for a second
and add up how the green roomwent for me in the first three
minutes.
Oh, no, no, let's add how Iwalked in and the executive
producer came down the steps topersonally greet me before I
(32:25):
went to the green room and thenfour people three of them
phenomenally successfulcomedians show love and say they
want to do business.
(32:46):
So I look back over the last 36hours and I say, okay, how did
this all happen?
Why did it happen?
Shit, I don't know.
I don't know.
But what I do know is this I ama master of showing up.
(33:07):
I show up, I might be sleepy, Imight be late, I might not have
any cash on me.
I have been to Europe twicepeople with no wallet and no
cash.
How you get all the way toEurope, jade, that's another
(33:27):
whole thing.
But you know, delta got theflyer ready and digital,
whatever.
I showed my passport and theyshowed my face and got on the
thing and I didn't have I meanno money, not one single US
dollar bill, not even a debitcard, and they don't have cash
up in Europe.
Did y'all know that?
So nobody couldn't send menothing.
(33:49):
So, anyway, I'm gonna show up.
I might not have any money, Imight be late, I might be a
little sleepy, but but I'm goingto be there.
And what the universecontinuously shows me is, jay,
show up and be open, be readyfor the opportunity.
I came here to fulfill therequest to be a comedian.
(34:15):
I turned my professionalschedule inside out for another
talent's professional schedule.
Of course it's a greatopportunity for me to be on
television.
But let me tell you this If Ididn't believe in the Portia
(34:36):
show Portia Bruna's brand andher team's brand I don't give a
damn about being on TV at all Iwould have said no.
I said yes because of what theteam stands for, what they've
done and what they're building.
She's done two seasons.
It's in syndication, I thinkit's in four or five major
(34:59):
cities and I think come seasonthree is going to expand even
more.
The universe patted me on theback and gave me a big warm hug
back and gave me a big warm hug.
(35:20):
I feel like I was seen and Iwas rewarded for moving on faith
.
Without sight, I ain't havebreakfast.
I did shower because I didn'tknow how close people were going
to be to me and thank God I didbecause people, we were really
tight in that green room.
So my, I don't even know if Ipersonally have a takeaway, but
I wanted to share in real timekind of what a day in the life
(35:45):
can feel like and how fast on adime shit can change for me and
it's not even over like and howfast on a dime shit can change
for me, and it's not even over.
My podcast team and I are aboutto go to our studio and shoot
some episodes that you all willsee and hear in the next month
or so.
But the caregiving and careerbalance is real for me.
(36:12):
Caregiving is the way I honormy mother and I have to always
figure out how to make it work.
But even in honoring her I haveto acknowledge myself, my
(36:36):
dreams and my hopes, because Tonot do that it almost would be
like slapping my mom in the face.
She went through too much.
(36:56):
She did too much for me to notput effort into pursuing what I
believe my purpose is here onearth, so every 36 hours doesn't
look and feel like this butit's a whole lot more of them
than I actually put on video.
Peace, the snuggle ups.
(37:22):
Number one don't worry aboutwhat you don't know right now.
When you need to know it, whenyou have to have it some kind of
way, the universe will makesure that it gets done.
It's amazing.
The last 36 hours were nuts-ola.
It was the epitome of myfavorite roller coaster ride.
(37:43):
You get to the top.
You're like uh-oh, ch-ka-ch-ka,ch-ka-ch-ka, ch-ka-ch-ka.
That almost sounds like a tututrain.
But that's me trying to get tothe top.
I'm trying to simulate gettingto the top of the roller coaster
.
Then you're up there inanticipation of, oh, my God.
Then you're on your way down.
You're like, ah, scared andhappy.
(38:08):
Then you get to the bottom.
You're like whew, that's over.
And now you're on your way backup to the top of the next hill
With only 50 minutes of sleep.
The day before me was daunting.
Would I perform well on the TVshow?
Who all would I meet?
How would it go down?
What was going on with Zeddy?
Would she be okay?
(38:29):
Would I be able to record all Ineed to record later in the day
for the podcast, for thepodcast production?
Ah Well, it worked.
It worked out.
Every five minutes there was anew level of stress or some kind
(38:52):
of concern.
But but that sixth minute, thatsixth minute, an answer came in
a person, or just in me,letting go of the stress of the
need to know yeah, try it.
(39:14):
Number two nothing replaceshaving a good team, cannot and
(39:36):
will not do life alone, and thatgoes doubly so as a caregiver.
My production team came through, so huge.
They showed up and assisted meon site at the television studio
(39:57):
, all the footage we were ableto get, and then helping me
mentally and emotionally manage.
But whatever they had to movearound in their personal and
professional lives with theirother clients, I didn't even
(40:18):
know about it.
You know what I mean.
I didn't get one teeth sucked,one slam of a telephone.
Hell, you can't even slam atelephone, no more.
I guess that would have been amental frustration.
There was no pushback,everybody just got it done.
(40:43):
Zeddy's caregiver stepped up,did extra, her trainer did extra
.
Oh, my God, Needing and havinga team.
Oh, you need a team and youneed to have a good one.
(41:08):
So if you got people on yourteam that are not really helping
, you replace them as soon asyou can.
I was even texting my closestfriends throughout the day
without all this stuff going onand said, oh my God, this
happened.
Oh my God, this happened.
And they're sending emojis.
Jay, you got this.
You can do this.
You got this.
(41:28):
Let me tell you about a goodteam Number three you never know
who's watching.
Mean what you say, say what youmean.
(41:50):
Keep your brand authentic, trueand honest to who you are.
So when I got the call to be onthe television show, it was a
(42:15):
phenomenal opportunity.
But I was able to get a calllike that because the producers
and executive producers of theshow followed me and trusted my
brand.
They trusted what I would doand how I would perform and also
(42:36):
what I would not do.
You know what I mean.
It's also good that people knowwhat you will not do, what your
social media will not have onit and what you will not say or
do that could harm theirreputation.
That meant a lot to me.
(42:57):
It meant a lot to me that theywould know that they could trust
me to stand in the gap and makeit happen.
Speaker 2 (43:07):
That's a big deal.
Speaker 1 (43:12):
When you're good to people and good is relative you
know what could be good to meyou might think oh damn, Jade,
is your bar that low?
I need people to do way morefor me before I would consider
that being good.
My overall perspective on it iseverything matters.
(43:38):
Nothing is so small that it'sinsignificant.
So, whatever you're posting, ifyou text people back, if you
see them in the mall, all ofthose interactions make a
difference.
Yep, and it led to me having aspectacularly impactful and
(44:09):
energy-filled day impactful andenergy-filled day.
I could sleep for a week.
What's up y'all?
I'm over here just mixing andscratching up stuff and
reminding y'all Patreon is open.
(44:29):
It is open and ready for you,you, you, you and your mama too.
We are loading up things, allthings Zetty, all things
podcasts, all things caregivingbehind the scenes, extra stuff.
J Smile's comedy is droppingwith her own little collection
(44:50):
within the J Smile StudioPatreon Very, very soon.
It'll be less than a month, butyou want to go on and get in
there because there's exclusives.
That's kind of time sensitiveto whoever is in there first.
We've already had livebroadcasts for people who are
already in and I'm going to behonest Because of, you know,
(45:14):
branding matters.
So there's some stuff that Ijust can't say and do on the
World Wide Web that I can do inthe Patreon pantry pantry.
So if you want to see and knowand hear and experience more of
(45:35):
what's happening between my ears, come to the J Smile studio, my
Patreon pantry.
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