October 16, 2024 • 36 mins
Join us as we chat with the multi-talented Rodney Perry, who combines the art of comedy with the heartfelt caregiving journey. Rodney opens up about his personal comedy experiences and providing care for his family, from following in the footsteps of his idol Eddie Murphy to sharing the spotlight with him in "Coming to America 2." Through the lens of humor, we explore the impact caregivers have and uncover how family caregivers are the unsung heroes of our healthcare system. Perry also talks about his experience as a stroke survivor, and his journey to recovery, thanking those who cared for him along the way.
Tune in for a blend of humor, heart, and inspiration, and discover how the grace and laughter found in caregiving can inspire us all.
For more information on today's guest, visit RodneyPerry.com.
#RodneyPerry
#ComingToAmerica2
#strokesurvivor
#standupcomedy
#CaregivingJourney
#DementiaAwareness
#AlzheimersCare
#CaregiverSupport
#HumorInCaregiving
#EndAlz
Host: J Smiles
Producer: Mia Hall
Editor: Annelise Udoye
This episode was shot at Cr8ive Souls Studios.
"Alzheimer's is heavy but we ain't gotta be!"
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
We took care of my mom.
My uncle stood in the gap formy grandmother, okay, and he
actually became her realcaregiver in terms of you know,
he started getting a check Likeeven now he's still a caregiver,
with what he learned from thehelp of my grandmother, wow, so
he's still a caregiver for olderpeople.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
So he turned it into a career path.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
actually, he turned it into a career path because he
had no job.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Well, come on now.
Okay, we all got that out there.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
He stayed at home so long.
How long was it that peoplestart commending him for being
there?
Oh Like, hey, man, you're doingso good with mom.
I'm like that nigga never left.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Parenting Up never left.
Parenting up, caregivingadventures with comedian day
smiles is the intense journey ofunexpectedly being fully
responsible for my mama.
For over a decade I've beenchipping away at the unknown,
advocating for her and pushingalzheimer's awareness on anyone
and anything with a heartbeat.
Spoiler alert I started comedybecause this shit is so heavy,
so be ready for the jokes.
(01:07):
Caregiver newbies, ogs andvillage members just willing to
prop up a caregiver you are inthe right place.
Hi, this is Zeddy.
I hope you enjoy my daughter'spodcast.
Is that okay?
(01:28):
Today's supporter shout out TiaIrvin, 6696.
Quote.
They loved on me, so I can loveon them.
End quote.
Yes, when you return the lovethat was given to you, we agree.
(01:54):
If you want to be the recipientof a supporter, shout out.
Give us a review on ApplePodcast, youtube or IG the
Comedians.
Give us a review on ApplePodcasts, youtube or IG the
Comedians.
Care Series, rodney Perry'sCaregiving Full Circle Giving
(02:15):
and receiving Parents and ourfamily.
Here we go.
It's about to go down, and what?
Cut and start.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
I can do either one, because it's my podcast.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
I do whatever.
Little shoulder, actuallylittle shoulder.
No, okay, now this ain't onlyfans not only not.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Please don't do it with me.
I don't want to be a part of it.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
I am here with my main guy, rodney perry.
Okay, I'm before I I'm about toget emotional and start crying.
He's supposed to be telling hisstory, but we know him from
anything and everything Bigscreen, small screen, social
media.
What about that?
(02:58):
Coming to America 2, though,man, that was sweet, that was
nice.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Johnson's Family Reunion, medea yes, yes, yes,
that was nice, I mean.
The reason Johnson FamilyReunion, madea yes, yes, yes,
yes, yes, yes, but go ahead.
The reason no, I was going tosay that the reason I do
stand-up is because of EddieMurphy, and I got to share the
screen with this guy.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
So yeah, it was that's heavy.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Pretty amazing couple of weeks.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What Couple of weeks.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What many people don't know.
They know you the funny guy,they know you can host, they
know you can headline.
Yeah, do it all.
There's a side of in your lifewith care where you have been
(03:42):
cared for by family members andyou have then been the you carry
and the carer.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
That's a fact.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
And that's what we gonna chat on on this episode,
right here.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
I feel like you gonna make me cry today.
I feel like I'm gonna weep.
Don't make me weep.
Smile, please.
I feel it coming, my heart issoft.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Soften it up, baby, just go ahead.
We got butter over here forthat bread.
So before we even get to that,I have to let the whole world
know that we are in our fifthseason.
The podcast is global.
We on all, all the littlecontinents yes, well done and my
comedy career started and got ahuge thrust of energy.
(04:28):
It's like a rocket boost custombecause of mr rodney perry
taking your improv class andthen you actually answering,
like when I call or uh, text you, everybody don't do that,
everybody at his stage.
When somebody is just starting,they don't.
They say send me a DM or callme, you DM them for 12 years.
(04:54):
How?
Speaker 1 (04:55):
about that.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
They ain't said nothing, they didn't even say
stop, they don't even block you,they don't even give you enough
.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
Block me.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
At least block me.
That means you watched?
Speaker 1 (05:05):
You watched me one time.
I mean jay smiles this is myguy, though this is my guy.
Jay smiles was just dope to me,though, thank you.
Like your vibe was dope, I mean, you know you, I don't want to
make it sound like I just likeeverybody and some people might
think that, but I'm reallyselected with other people that
I really bring into my fold andit was an easy call for you
(05:28):
because you was just your improvwas so dope to me and you know
you had that thing that says I'ma comedian, and that was at the
very before I ever saw youperform.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
You want me to cry or you gonna be like I gotcha?
Speaker 1 (05:44):
You're gonna be weeping.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Wow, okay, alright.
Well, that's the end of thisepisode.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Everybody wrap it up like that Roger Perry said I'm
that fire.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Okay, you know that, but your story?
I want to start with thecaregiving that you all have
been providing over the last fewyears.
We talk a bunch in the ParentingUp community about the fact
that it is family caregiversthat is really holding up the
(06:18):
medical system, because if weall stopped doing what we were
doing, stuff would implode.
Hospitals would be overrun, theER would be overrun.
The doctors wouldn't even beable to handle it.
We don't have enough nurses anddoctors to do what my family is
doing, what your family isdoing.
So share with them a little bitabout what you and your wife
(06:38):
and your kids have had to do tocare for people in your family.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
We've had to do a few things.
First of all, our parents bringus into this world and nurture
us and give us those things,those tools we need to live a
life right, and then, if you'relucky, you'll get an opportunity
to take care of them.
If you're lucky, if you'relucky, you'll get an opportunity
(07:03):
to take care of your parent.
If you're lucky, if you'relucky, you'll get an opportunity
to take care of your parent.
And so I had that opportunityto take care of my mother who
got.
She had a condition called COPDyes, which is a breathing
condition, and I didn't evenunderstand the chronic nature of
it when I look back, becauseyou know it was always, the C of
COPD is chronic, right, so thatmeans eventually.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
Okay, for real, I'm not even trying to be funny
right now.
Yeah, I'm today years old andmy grandmama had it.
Well, I thought that the C waschronic.
I don't know what the hell Ithought it meant.
I just knew it was really badbreathing.
Yeah, but chronic does.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
Maybe.
I mean my mother lived a prettygood life from a diagnosis till
about maybe about seven, eightmore years.
Oh, that is good.
So she had a good, decent run.
Yeah, good run.
You know I'm so easy, I talkabout it so lightly now, but man
, to watch her kind ofdeteriorate.
(08:10):
And you know, provide the careBecause she stayed with us for a
point.
And you know, to lose a parentis a whole other animal Right,
because you know I remembercleaning up the house and I was
cleaning up something and Ifound I came across a bottle of
perfume that I had never seen.
I was like what is this?
(08:30):
And I opened it up.
I smell it, this little perfume, and I was crying for six days
that's your mama.
That was mama perfume.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
Mama in a bottle.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Who put this damn bottle out here, anyway.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
I know y'all could have put that up.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Please somebody.
But yeah, yeah, but we tookcare of my mom.
My uncle stood in the gap formy grandmother, okay, and he
actually became her realcaregiver in terms of you know,
he started getting a check, like, even now he's still a
caregiver, with what he learnedfrom the help of my grandmother,
(09:06):
wow, so he's still a caregiverfor older people.
So he turned it into a careerpath actually, he turned it into
a career path because he had nojob.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Well, come on now.
Okay, we all got that.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
He stayed at home so long.
How long was it that peoplestart commending him for being
there?
Oh, Like, hey, man you doing sogood with mom.
I'm like that nigga never left.
He ain't staying with mama,he's just still here and she
happens to now be sick.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
Yeah, yeah, all right , I know we got some of those.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
So we did that.
And now my wife we're takingcare of her mother and she's
dealing with some dementia.
You never know what day it'sgoing to be.
She get up 4 o'clock in themorning ready for breakfast,
because they said breakfast wasready.
They said it.
I don't know who the hell theyis, but somebody in her head is
(10:05):
like look, it's time to eat.
Breakfast is ready, miss Karen.
Go, lay back down.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
Please, does she believe you when you say lay
back down, she will, she'll doit.
Okay, but she do it.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
She'll do it.
Okay, all right, but she wasdrinking so much water it was
making her sick.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
Well, you got to explain that, so you can drink
too much water.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
You're essentially kind of drowning yourself.
So she would drink and we don'tknow.
No, we don't, we don't know.
I mean, we's give her some morewater, she wants more water.
She make that walk all day,every day, and so she might
drink a hundred ounces a day.
What?
And it caused her to go intolike like a shock, okay, and so
(10:51):
we had to figure that out well,what did it look like, though,
though?
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Because, first of all , I had never heard of this.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
It looked like sitting on the floor.
She didn't fail, okay, you know, because she didn't drink so
much water throughout the day.
That's crazy.
And so it was a thing that, andeven when she went to the
hospital, they didn't know howto curtail it, and so we kind of
(11:16):
figured out.
Now, you know, we just got tokeep her in that room.
She can't be moving around,walking around all day, without
one of us sitting in the livingroom because her room is right
off the living room.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
It's not funny.
I know exactly what you mean,but listen, that's why I have a
comedian of your stature here,so that people can understand
all around the world.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
It's so much nuance man.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Isn't it?
Speaker 1 (11:42):
Yeah, it's so much nuance and when you're a family
caregiver.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
Yeah, and you're a family caregiver.
We ain't never been trained.
None of us are trained in anyof this stuff?
Speaker 1 (11:49):
They ain't told me none.
I ain't read no book.
I ain't took a class.
I ain't took a class.
I ain't been on YouTube and Icall you.
Yes, you gave me some insight.
You know, dealing with your momand what, but everybody's
different, very so.
Marvin Hunter was a fabulouscomedian.
He dealt with dementia with hisparent and his mother was
(12:13):
really ornery.
So my mother-in-law is notornery.
You know she's still the kindlady, okay.
But you know my wife tellsstories about like it's stuff
she eats now that she never ateor cooked Really.
Yeah, it's like she won't likefry chicken and steak.
She's almost a vegetarian.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
Like when you start liking this, you ain't supposed
to eat that.
Man but those are the pointsthat I'm so happy you're making,
because I don't think themedical system always listens to
us.
Rodney, as family caregivers,you know they look at you, know
our loved one, and they'relooking at all the little stats
(12:56):
and the numbers.
We can say, okay, yeah, theblood pressure's fine and maybe
the cholesterol is okay, butsomething is off, because my
mama is now eating chicken andsteak and she was almost a
vegetarian for 30 years.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
So I'm telling y'all this ain't right Right, and they
almost don't believe yousometimes, like we had.
So she goes to the hospital forthe water thing and you know,
of course they start giving hercaregivers to come by the house
and check on her because theythought we was hurting her.
And I'm like man ain't nobodyhurting this old lady, y'all.
(13:32):
She thirsty all day.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
And why?
And why is she thirsty?
We don't know.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
Right, I mean not y'all.
But maybe the doctors could know, but they don't know they
didn't understand why, and sothey treating her like she a
regular person and don't havesomething wrong with her, and so
it's really interesting towatch.
You know it up close.
(13:57):
You know it's different and youneed your caregiver to set in
the gap to, even if you go tothe hospital just to have an
advocate, because what you don'twant to do is go to a hospital
and know nobody when your ass isasleep.
Somebody needs to be spent.
Spend him.
Right, let me lay on the sameass cheek for five days.
(14:20):
Somebody spend him.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
Okay, parents and up community Y'all who don't know
what a spend him mean is yourloved one is laying in the
hospital too long and if theycan't move they're going to get
bed sores, they're going tobreak down and hip hurt and all
of that.
So you need to spin them over.
Turn them over, spin me, spin me.
But if your LO doesn't haveenough cognitive function to say
(14:46):
hey, you know, my side ishurting.
I've been on my left side toolong, put me on my right.
I've been on my back too long,put me on my side.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
You're right, you got to have an advocate.
Some people are just lazy anddon't get me wrong there's some
great medical people in America.
You know we got the bestmedical system in the world, but
at the same time, just like anyother job, it could be people
that aren't the best.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
Yes, and they could give your loved one substantive
care if you're not advocating ontheir behalf 24-7.
Yes, and I don't mind sayingthis, piedmont Hospital did not
give my mother that premium care.
How about that?
Speaker 1 (15:31):
And they should have.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
We were paying premium prices.
Yes, sir, at that Piedmont.
Yes, we were paying premiumprices at that Piedmont, but
because my mother was notcomplaining or saying anything,
her Alzheimer's is advancedenough.
They're like oh well, missMouse, we put the buzzer on your
mom's lap.
She don't know what that is,she don't know the difference
(15:54):
between the TV remote or thecall the nurse button.
And why would she know when sheneeds to call a nurse?
She don't even know what'shurting.
What are you talking about?
I need y'all to go in therelike every hour on the hour,
check on her, just look at her,touch something, poke something
and see how she responds.
But they don't always do that.
They don't always do that.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
They don't always do that.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
The squeaky wheel gets the oil.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
Can I ask you this?
Yeah, like dealing with yourmom, like I was thinking
recently, like they must be inbliss, like they don't know that
they're not bad Right.
They don't know it's bad Right.
I mean, you know that she'smaybe deteriorating, but does
the person with the afflictionAlzheimer's or with the dementia
(16:41):
, do they know that they're?
Speaker 2 (16:43):
not what they once were.
Well, first thing is I don'tknow.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
Yeah, that was just a great answer.
That was a great answer I damnsure don't know.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
I damn sure don't know.
I will tell you.
What my advocacy and researchand digging has shown me is that
it depends on where they are inthe spectrum of the Alzheimer's
progression.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
Okay, Early on they know and they're pissed or sad
Right, because they're trying tocollect those thoughts and they
can't.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
That's correct.
And why me and why this happen?
And heaven forbid if theysomewhat lived a healthy air,
quote, clean life, and they'relike I don't know what the hell
happened to my brain.
I ain't smoke, I ain't drink, Islept eight hours a day.
What in the world?
Speaker 1 (17:29):
So there's a little bit of woe is me Because they're
calling it type 3 diabetes.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
A lot of the upper scientists.
You better be on it.
That's what I'm trying to doLook at you.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
I'm trying to understand.
I really have been trying tounderstand.
You ain't seeing just jokes.
Well, you know, I try to be agood advocate.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
Yeah, but that is seriously.
That is a thing that theresearch scientists are
investigating.
Is dementia, diabetes, typethree.
Now the practitioners haven'tall gotten on board because they
don't have enough data andenough research studies.
(18:07):
Blah, blah, blah.
But anyway, just for me and youand for everyone else out,
there is a good rule of thumbthat they are believing that,
yes, it is a problem with ourbrain processing the glucose
that it needs.
Yeah, and when that gets off,there's a problem.
Um, so so maybe in the next 20years there'll be some
(18:30):
medication for it maybe yeah, orthey could even tell us what to
not do, because I wonder, like,how we have, like, alzheimer's
is acting a fool right about now.
It is 50 years ago it wasn'tacting a fool.
People just got older and gotsenile, but they wasn't.
This Alzheimer's thing isdifferent.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
But it also wasn't as many special needs kids either,
that's true.
Well, maybe well, we don't knowyou know what?
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Because we, but they wasn't in our classroom.
They might have been.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
Might have been me man.
I might have been, I mightstill be a little slow.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
They might be like Jay.
You ain't know, because it wasyou.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
And you know, this whole thing really concerns me
as a stroke survivor.
Yes, so that's one of thequestions I ask my docs.
I'm like, look, am Ipredisposed to you know, know,
because I had a traumatic brainissue am I looking at?
Speaker 2 (19:28):
scared the shit out of me by the way.
I got things started poppingthrough and I was like this is a
joke and I was like he ain'teven home.
How dare you get sick on theroad.
I'm in a hospital, going viral,going viral.
Somebody cover up my ass.
I'm going viral, right, please?
Yeah, going viral somebody comeup my ass.
I'm going viral, right, please,yeah.
Yeah, that was serious.
(19:48):
That was I mean, we werelaughing through it, but it was
very serious indeed it was apoint where it was touch and go
and speaking of pairing it up.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
My brother, my brother Ryan Evans, he stood
there for me, man.
I just ran into a picture theother day that almost made me
cry because he was, you know,shaving me.
You know, during those times,man, and I never forget, just
him just going.
You're gonna beat this, you'regonna be all right.
Come on, champ, go throughthere being a carry.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
Thank you for this segue being a carry.
Such an independent man you areyou.
You served our country.
Thank you very much, navy.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Eight years yes.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Yes, and to know, alright, my body won't do what I
tell it to, but I have lovedones, my brother.
What I can't do is wipe my butt.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
Right now.
My left hand was a littleafflicted.
I couldn't do is wipe my butt.
Right now.
My left hand was a littleafflicted, I couldn't walk.
You know Well who wiped yourbutt.
I had a lady.
So my CNA it wasn't yourbrother.
My brother wouldn't do it, hewouldn't do it.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
He'd do the line at the end.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
And no, but my CNA was a wonderful wiper.
Let me tell you something thislady would wipe my butt with the
precision of a professional.
She was so thorough.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
Like right now, my butt is nowhere near as clean as
that lady had my butt, butthat's also what.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
I had to learn.
I had to learn over time to goto the bathroom alone again.
And to appreciate it Okay.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
For a minute.
You weren't going to thebathroom by yourself.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
I needed some help, needed some help.
I had to lean.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
Left side, right side .
Speaker 1 (21:38):
My hand was flicked Like even now.
I was at the gym yesterday andI was lifting weights and my
hand looking a little a little alittle handy right is it a
little too handy.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
I like my hand a little bit, a little bit like a
gravy later.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
it look a little, it look a little.
I'm like I gotta get thisstrong, okay, but it's also the
connection connection betweenyour brain.
So my breakthrough came.
So my hand is, my left hand isflicked, I can talk to it, but
it wasn't responding to my brainand so my occupational
(22:14):
therapist come in with a box andon each side of the boxes
mirrors.
So the idea is you put your,your your broke hand in the box
and you look at your good handin the mirror.
Okay, and maybe, if you'relucky, you could trick your
brain to think that the hand inthe mirror that's this hand, is
really this hand and that suckerworked.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
Are you?
Speaker 1 (22:33):
serious.
It worked immediately that day.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
That's like at the county fair with the house of
the mirrors.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
It tricks your brain and it made me think.
I went to my hospital room thatafternoon and I masturbated did
it work.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
It did okay, thank you for that I mean I don't know
about you.
Every time I try, it don'talways work sometimes.
I'm like what the hell thesefingers, these fingers ain't
what they used to be trash.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
Throw these fingers away, get out of here.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
Hilarious when you were Trash, throw these things
away, get out of here.
Hilarious, when you werepreparing after your stroke.
Right, we're talking about youbeing a Carrie now.
And you're like, okay, I'mwalking, I'm talking.
How do you know, alright, I canget back on the road, I can
(23:23):
start performing again?
Where is that mental strengththat lets you know, all right, I
can get back on the road, I canstart performing again?
Where is that mental strengththat lets you say, all right,
they say I can leave thehospital, but can I get back to
being Rodney Perry?
Speaker 1 (23:35):
Well, I'm having those thoughts before I even
leave the hospital.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Because I'm processing this and it's not
funny.
No, it's not funny.
No, it's not funny.
I mean, you are literally.
I don't know if I'm going tostand again, let alone do
stand-up.
But part of my therapy was,before I left the hospital.
I did a set at the hospital formy caregivers Are you serious?
(24:00):
My physical therapist, myoccupational therapist, my
speech therapist.
They sat in the room and theywatched me perform and that was
part of my therapy.
I had a goal to perform beforeI left, and so that was the
beginning of it.
I mean, did I know I would beback on the road flying and
stuff again?
I wasn't thinking about that, Iwas thinking about standing.
(24:20):
I know that's right.
And my big adjustment is, ofcourse, I'm like I've always
been super physical, and so whenI first came back, I didn't
have it.
I couldn't be as physical andmy long-term memory was damaged
so I could only remember stuffthat I had made up in the
(24:42):
hospital.
So I had no material.
You owe me money.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
About I think about $12,000.
Yeah, that was before thestroke, though it happened
before the stroke.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
Yeah, I lost some of that.
Yeah, okay, all right, but Ihad, so I only had.
I knew how to tell jokes, right, I just couldn't access any old
jokes and it took me probablyabout a year to be able to
access my older material.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
Were there techniques that your therapist gave you to
access that memory, or did youjust have to wait for it to
unlock?
Speaker 1 (25:24):
Not so much techniques, but he did give me
like brain stuff.
Like my speech therapist, hewould constantly give me like
brain teasers and tools to kindof strengthen and I even do them
now, like certain games I playon my phone.
It's just to sharpen my brain,okay, and so I'm kind of always
(25:44):
working on that.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
Yeah, what's your favorite?
One of those or one of them?
Speaker 1 (25:48):
your brain games.
I play Domino's.
That's a brain game.
I'm still an old black man,yeah, absolutely Counting and
winning.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
Counting and winning, winning.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
Winning is important.
It's a very important part Ibeat my brother while I was in
the hospital at Madden, Really,and that was a huge breakthrough
because I mean he was so mad.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
That's a lot of I mean, madden is a lot of going
on.
That's 50,000 decisions you'remaking in every play and
clicking and pressing and so.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
Madden helped me with some of my motor skills Okay,
and my brain, and I remember Iwas telling my buddy I was like
I whooped your ass while I had astroke.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
Shit, he feels like hell don't he, he should.
He should, he should, Iwouldn't have, I wouldn't have
played.
Well, he thought he was helping, but he did help you.
He did, he did, he did, hefound out.
He's, you know, horrible.
Yeah, second is the first loser.
See that, ricky.
Bobby that is a fact.
(26:49):
This has been for me with you,rodney.
It is personal what you'veshared with me about your family
, your life and what yourpost-stroke advocacy.
I know that you also, you speakand you go and you tell your
(27:14):
story with honor and with humorso that others can benefit from
it.
So I want to, I want to commendyou for that and I want to ask
you if what is, uh, somethinglike, particularly maybe with
your mother-in-law, um, that youhave found great humor in like
(27:35):
I can't believe this lady is.
You know she's this age and sheis struggling, but this is
still funny and this is stillkind of cool and at least we got
this.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
Well, this is the thing.
So you know.
You just never know what dayshe's going to wake up on.
Okay, you know, sometimes shewake up 20 years ago when she
worked at Dillard's.
Okay, you know, and she betalking to these people.
I'm like Miss Karen, who youtalking to?
She said I'm talking to Diane.
I said who is Diane?
(28:07):
She's my supervisor, dillon.
I'm like well, what you goingto do?
I got to clean up this place.
I ain't going to lie.
Will she be on that cleanupshit?
Speaker 2 (28:18):
I let her clean up, because she really cleans up.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
Listen, she will sweeping that motherfucker's
back porch.
My wife, be like.
You're going to stop making mydaughter, my mother, clean up.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
Right, and you're like she wanted to.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
She thought that she was a dealer in stockbrokers.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
Well, because they do say in everything with dementia
you're supposed, you know it'slike role playing You're
supposed to let them go, andyou're supposed to let them go
and you're supposed to followthem, so that's what you were
doing.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
She's still funny, though.
Like what did she tell me?
Like, oh, we was talking, wewas talking and I said where you
about to go, miss Karen, shegot up, you know.
I said where you about to go.
I'm about to roll out likeLudacris.
I'm like what, what?
Speaker 2 (29:00):
What you know about, what you know about what you
know about.
Little Prince, let me find out,miss Karen, in these streets,
miss.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
Karen, miss Karen's still funny, she's still that's
beautiful.
And you know I dread the daywhen she begins To really
deteriorate, right.
But you know, I mean, at theend of the day I mean, you know,
so I'm the oldest, I thinkbirth order matters too Okay,
like I'm the oldest, I thinkbirth order matters too Okay,
like I'm the oldest.
So to care for my mother wasnothing for me.
(29:28):
My wife is a middle child, okay, and you know, middle children
don't really be trying to takecare of nobody but her oldest
and her baby.
They're not stepping up, so shekind of default to the
caregiver she the second oldest,she the second oldest, she's
(29:48):
the middle child.
And so she's a reluctantcaregiver.
She's like yo.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
What is this, but you went through it already, right?
Speaker 1 (29:59):
Yeah, but you know, walk up out of my shoes.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
Absolutely.
This has been such a phenomenalconversation and you know I'm
going to have you back.
I'll give you the topic later.
We ain't going to tell youWhatever you want to talk about,
I'm game Before we go.
There's one question.
I end each segment with it'scalled a snuggle up Okay.
There's one question.
I end each segment with it'scalled a snuggle up, okay, where
(30:25):
the idea is if a caregivercould just snuggle up to this
idea, you know, just kind of goahead and go ahead and snuggle
up to this idea, just like easeon into it.
baby, your role as a familycaregiver will be easier or less
stressful.
(30:45):
As a caregiver, as a caree,what this is symbolic of saying
we're going to snuggle up let'ssnuggle up, then I'm ready.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
What is your?
What would?
Speaker 2 (31:02):
be a snuggle up.
That Snuggle up, then I'm ready.
What is your?
What would be a snuggle up thatcomes to mind for you?
Speaker 1 (31:07):
Oh wow, what a great question.
I mean, you got to snuggle upto the fact that your loved one
isn't doing whatever they'redoing, deliberately, that's a
word.
There's no malice, it's just apart of their life and it feels
(31:33):
like they get it, but they don't.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
You better say that.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
It feels like they get it and you can tend to be
like I know you fucking heard me, you be like nigga, they didn't
, they didn't, they did.
She don't get it at all.
She's still at Dillard's andyou got to snuggle up to the
idea that wherever they thinkthey are, they are.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
And they are not trying to piss you off and ruin
your day.
Not at all.
Not at all.
Speaker 1 (31:59):
Not at all.
They probably don't even feelthat it's bad.
Right, all, not at all.
They probably don't even feelthat it's bad.
We're living the bad part,maybe, if it's bad at all, it's
true, it's our interpretationand maybe somewhere on a
different time, plane everythingis okay.
Speaker 2 (32:21):
Y'all didn't know comedians could get deep, did
you, my man?
Just did it, my man just did it, my man just did it.
Plato Socrates, Nostradamus onus.
Speaker 1 (32:31):
I mean, what if we were all wrong?
What if we're the one that'sfucked up somewhere, absolutely
Laying there looking out thewindow?
It's possible, you never know,it's possible.
Speaker 2 (32:40):
I think it's possible , it's possible.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
I think it's possible , it's possible.
Speaker 2 (32:46):
Thank you so much, rodney.
But listen, share witheverybody what you have going on
currently, what's coming up inthe near future, where they can
follow you, where they can findyou.
Speaker 1 (32:56):
Rodney Perry live on all social media and I'll be
directing my first movie, myfirst feature film this year.
So I'm excited about that.
It's a thriller.
Speaker 2 (33:03):
Me too.
I know I'll have a part, evenif it's no speaking right.
Hold, on.
Speaker 1 (33:08):
No, I just don't want to lie to you because you know
I picks up my DMs, just likethat.
I'm not the producer, but I'mdefinitely directing.
But I mean, you never know Ifyou ain't busy.
We shooting in Raleigh.
Speaker 2 (33:19):
Yeah, I ain't busy.
All right, raleigh, here wecome.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
Here we come, okay.
So I'm looking forward to that.
It's exciting and you know I'vehad a pretty lengthy career
because I kind of understand howto reinvent myself.
So we're always trying to stayconnected to the young people.
Speaker 2 (33:39):
Love it, I love it.
Roddy Perry, everybody, theSnuggle up.
Rodney Perry.
You notice I didn't put an asson it because stuff got a little
wonky in the studio, so we'regoing to get one big summary
snuggle up for him.
(34:00):
This man has been a caregiverand a caree.
He cared for his mother, he isa assisting his wife with his
mother-in-law, and then he wasthe caree and through it, all
the amount of humor and gracethat he used, that's what stands
(34:21):
out the most and that's whatstands out the most and that's
what I'm hoping everyone can usein their journey as a caregiver
.
Give yourself grace, give thosearound you grace, because as
you heal and take your medicineand do whatever the doctors say
or the experts, stuff can getbetter.
(34:42):
There can be a light at the endof the talk.
What's up y'all?
I'm over here just mixing andscratching up stuff and
reminding y'all.
Patreon is open.
It is open and ready for you,you, you, you and you, and your
(35:03):
mama too.
We are loading up things.
All things Zetty, all thingspodcast, all things caregiving
behind the scenes, extra stuff.
J Smile's comedy is droppingwith her own little collection
within the J Smile StudioPatreon.
Very, very soon.
(35:23):
It'll be less than a month, butyou want to go on and get in
there because there's exclusives.
That's kind of time sensitiveto whoever is in there first.
We've already had livebroadcasts for people who are
already in and I'm going to behonest because of, you know,
(35:43):
branding matters.
So there's some stuff that Ijust can't say and do on the
World Wide Web that I can do inthe Patreon pantry.
So if you want to see and knowand hear and experience more of
(36:04):
what's happening between my ears, come to the J Smile Studio, my
Patreon pantry.
We took care of my mom.
My uncle stood in the gap formy grandmother, okay, and he
actually became her realcaregiver in terms of you know,
he started getting a check Likeeven now he's still a caregiver,
with what he learned from thehelp of my grandmother, wow, so
he's still a caregiver for olderpeople.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
So he turned it into a career path.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
actually, he turned it into a career path because he
had no job.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Well, come on now.
Okay, we all got that out there.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
He stayed at home so long.
How long was it that peoplestart commending him for being
there?
Oh Like, hey, man, you're doingso good with mom.
I'm like that nigga never left.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Parenting Up never left.
Parenting up, caregivingadventures with comedian day
smiles is the intense journey ofunexpectedly being fully
responsible for my mama.
For over a decade I've beenchipping away at the unknown,
advocating for her and pushingalzheimer's awareness on anyone
and anything with a heartbeat.
Spoiler alert I started comedybecause this shit is so heavy,
so be ready for the jokes.
(01:07):
Caregiver newbies, ogs andvillage members just willing to
prop up a caregiver you are inthe right place.
Hi, this is Zeddy.
I hope you enjoy my daughter'spodcast.
Is that okay?
(01:28):
Today's supporter shout out TiaIrvin, 6696.
Quote.
They loved on me, so I can loveon them.
End quote.
Yes, when you return the lovethat was given to you, we agree.
(01:54):
If you want to be the recipientof a supporter, shout out.
Give us a review on ApplePodcast, youtube or IG the
Comedians.
Give us a review on ApplePodcasts, youtube or IG the
Comedians.
Care Series, rodney Perry'sCaregiving Full Circle Giving
(02:15):
and receiving Parents and ourfamily.
Here we go.
It's about to go down, and what?
Cut and start.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
I can do either one, because it's my podcast.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
I do whatever.
Little shoulder, actuallylittle shoulder.
No, okay, now this ain't onlyfans not only not.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Please don't do it with me.
I don't want to be a part of it.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
I am here with my main guy, rodney perry.
Okay, I'm before I I'm about toget emotional and start crying.
He's supposed to be telling hisstory, but we know him from
anything and everything Bigscreen, small screen, social
media.
What about that?
(02:58):
Coming to America 2, though,man, that was sweet, that was
nice.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Johnson's Family Reunion, medea yes, yes, yes,
that was nice, I mean.
The reason Johnson FamilyReunion, madea yes, yes, yes,
yes, yes, yes, but go ahead.
The reason no, I was going tosay that the reason I do
stand-up is because of EddieMurphy, and I got to share the
screen with this guy.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
So yeah, it was that's heavy.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Pretty amazing couple of weeks.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What Couple of weeks.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What many people don't know.
They know you the funny guy,they know you can host, they
know you can headline.
Yeah, do it all.
There's a side of in your lifewith care where you have been
(03:42):
cared for by family members andyou have then been the you carry
and the carer.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
That's a fact.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
And that's what we gonna chat on on this episode,
right here.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
I feel like you gonna make me cry today.
I feel like I'm gonna weep.
Don't make me weep.
Smile, please.
I feel it coming, my heart issoft.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Soften it up, baby, just go ahead.
We got butter over here forthat bread.
So before we even get to that,I have to let the whole world
know that we are in our fifthseason.
The podcast is global.
We on all, all the littlecontinents yes, well done and my
comedy career started and got ahuge thrust of energy.
(04:28):
It's like a rocket boost custombecause of mr rodney perry
taking your improv class andthen you actually answering,
like when I call or uh, text you, everybody don't do that,
everybody at his stage.
When somebody is just starting,they don't.
They say send me a DM or callme, you DM them for 12 years.
(04:54):
How?
Speaker 1 (04:55):
about that.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
They ain't said nothing, they didn't even say
stop, they don't even block you,they don't even give you enough
.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
Block me.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
At least block me.
That means you watched?
Speaker 1 (05:05):
You watched me one time.
I mean jay smiles this is myguy, though this is my guy.
Jay smiles was just dope to me,though, thank you.
Like your vibe was dope, I mean, you know you, I don't want to
make it sound like I just likeeverybody and some people might
think that, but I'm reallyselected with other people that
I really bring into my fold andit was an easy call for you
(05:28):
because you was just your improvwas so dope to me and you know
you had that thing that says I'ma comedian, and that was at the
very before I ever saw youperform.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
You want me to cry or you gonna be like I gotcha?
Speaker 1 (05:44):
You're gonna be weeping.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Wow, okay, alright.
Well, that's the end of thisepisode.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Everybody wrap it up like that Roger Perry said I'm
that fire.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Okay, you know that, but your story?
I want to start with thecaregiving that you all have
been providing over the last fewyears.
We talk a bunch in the ParentingUp community about the fact
that it is family caregiversthat is really holding up the
(06:18):
medical system, because if weall stopped doing what we were
doing, stuff would implode.
Hospitals would be overrun, theER would be overrun.
The doctors wouldn't even beable to handle it.
We don't have enough nurses anddoctors to do what my family is
doing, what your family isdoing.
So share with them a little bitabout what you and your wife
(06:38):
and your kids have had to do tocare for people in your family.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
We've had to do a few things.
First of all, our parents bringus into this world and nurture
us and give us those things,those tools we need to live a
life right, and then, if you'relucky, you'll get an opportunity
to take care of them.
If you're lucky, if you'relucky, you'll get an opportunity
(07:03):
to take care of your parent.
If you're lucky, if you'relucky, you'll get an opportunity
to take care of your parent.
And so I had that opportunityto take care of my mother who
got.
She had a condition called COPDyes, which is a breathing
condition, and I didn't evenunderstand the chronic nature of
it when I look back, becauseyou know it was always, the C of
COPD is chronic, right, so thatmeans eventually.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
Okay, for real, I'm not even trying to be funny
right now.
Yeah, I'm today years old andmy grandmama had it.
Well, I thought that the C waschronic.
I don't know what the hell Ithought it meant.
I just knew it was really badbreathing.
Yeah, but chronic does.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
Maybe.
I mean my mother lived a prettygood life from a diagnosis till
about maybe about seven, eightmore years.
Oh, that is good.
So she had a good, decent run.
Yeah, good run.
You know I'm so easy, I talkabout it so lightly now, but man
, to watch her kind ofdeteriorate.
(08:10):
And you know, provide the careBecause she stayed with us for a
point.
And you know, to lose a parentis a whole other animal Right,
because you know I remembercleaning up the house and I was
cleaning up something and Ifound I came across a bottle of
perfume that I had never seen.
I was like what is this?
(08:30):
And I opened it up.
I smell it, this little perfume, and I was crying for six days
that's your mama.
That was mama perfume.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
Mama in a bottle.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Who put this damn bottle out here, anyway.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
I know y'all could have put that up.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Please somebody.
But yeah, yeah, but we tookcare of my mom.
My uncle stood in the gap formy grandmother, okay, and he
actually became her realcaregiver in terms of you know,
he started getting a check, like, even now he's still a
caregiver, with what he learnedfrom the help of my grandmother,
(09:06):
wow, so he's still a caregiverfor older people.
So he turned it into a careerpath actually, he turned it into
a career path because he had nojob.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Well, come on now.
Okay, we all got that.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
He stayed at home so long.
How long was it that peoplestart commending him for being
there?
Oh, Like, hey, man you doing sogood with mom.
I'm like that nigga never left.
He ain't staying with mama,he's just still here and she
happens to now be sick.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
Yeah, yeah, all right , I know we got some of those.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
So we did that.
And now my wife we're takingcare of her mother and she's
dealing with some dementia.
You never know what day it'sgoing to be.
She get up 4 o'clock in themorning ready for breakfast,
because they said breakfast wasready.
They said it.
I don't know who the hell theyis, but somebody in her head is
(10:05):
like look, it's time to eat.
Breakfast is ready, miss Karen.
Go, lay back down.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
Please, does she believe you when you say lay
back down, she will, she'll doit.
Okay, but she do it.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
She'll do it.
Okay, all right, but she wasdrinking so much water it was
making her sick.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
Well, you got to explain that, so you can drink
too much water.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
You're essentially kind of drowning yourself.
So she would drink and we don'tknow.
No, we don't, we don't know.
I mean, we's give her some morewater, she wants more water.
She make that walk all day,every day, and so she might
drink a hundred ounces a day.
What?
And it caused her to go intolike like a shock, okay, and so
(10:51):
we had to figure that out well,what did it look like, though,
though?
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Because, first of all , I had never heard of this.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
It looked like sitting on the floor.
She didn't fail, okay, you know, because she didn't drink so
much water throughout the day.
That's crazy.
And so it was a thing that, andeven when she went to the
hospital, they didn't know howto curtail it, and so we kind of
(11:16):
figured out.
Now, you know, we just got tokeep her in that room.
She can't be moving around,walking around all day, without
one of us sitting in the livingroom because her room is right
off the living room.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
It's not funny.
I know exactly what you mean,but listen, that's why I have a
comedian of your stature here,so that people can understand
all around the world.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
It's so much nuance man.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Isn't it?
Speaker 1 (11:42):
Yeah, it's so much nuance and when you're a family
caregiver.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
Yeah, and you're a family caregiver.
We ain't never been trained.
None of us are trained in anyof this stuff?
Speaker 1 (11:49):
They ain't told me none.
I ain't read no book.
I ain't took a class.
I ain't took a class.
I ain't been on YouTube and Icall you.
Yes, you gave me some insight.
You know, dealing with your momand what, but everybody's
different, very so.
Marvin Hunter was a fabulouscomedian.
He dealt with dementia with hisparent and his mother was
(12:13):
really ornery.
So my mother-in-law is notornery.
You know she's still the kindlady, okay.
But you know my wife tellsstories about like it's stuff
she eats now that she never ateor cooked Really.
Yeah, it's like she won't likefry chicken and steak.
She's almost a vegetarian.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
Like when you start liking this, you ain't supposed
to eat that.
Man but those are the pointsthat I'm so happy you're making,
because I don't think themedical system always listens to
us.
Rodney, as family caregivers,you know they look at you, know
our loved one, and they'relooking at all the little stats
(12:56):
and the numbers.
We can say, okay, yeah, theblood pressure's fine and maybe
the cholesterol is okay, butsomething is off, because my
mama is now eating chicken andsteak and she was almost a
vegetarian for 30 years.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
So I'm telling y'all this ain't right Right, and they
almost don't believe yousometimes, like we had.
So she goes to the hospital forthe water thing and you know,
of course they start giving hercaregivers to come by the house
and check on her because theythought we was hurting her.
And I'm like man ain't nobodyhurting this old lady, y'all.
(13:32):
She thirsty all day.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
And why?
And why is she thirsty?
We don't know.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
Right, I mean not y'all.
But maybe the doctors could know, but they don't know they
didn't understand why, and sothey treating her like she a
regular person and don't havesomething wrong with her, and so
it's really interesting towatch.
You know it up close.
(13:57):
You know it's different and youneed your caregiver to set in
the gap to, even if you go tothe hospital just to have an
advocate, because what you don'twant to do is go to a hospital
and know nobody when your ass isasleep.
Somebody needs to be spent.
Spend him.
Right, let me lay on the sameass cheek for five days.
(14:20):
Somebody spend him.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
Okay, parents and up community Y'all who don't know
what a spend him mean is yourloved one is laying in the
hospital too long and if theycan't move they're going to get
bed sores, they're going tobreak down and hip hurt and all
of that.
So you need to spin them over.
Turn them over, spin me, spin me.
But if your LO doesn't haveenough cognitive function to say
(14:46):
hey, you know, my side ishurting.
I've been on my left side toolong, put me on my right.
I've been on my back too long,put me on my side.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
You're right, you got to have an advocate.
Some people are just lazy anddon't get me wrong there's some
great medical people in America.
You know we got the bestmedical system in the world, but
at the same time, just like anyother job, it could be people
that aren't the best.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
Yes, and they could give your loved one substantive
care if you're not advocating ontheir behalf 24-7.
Yes, and I don't mind sayingthis, piedmont Hospital did not
give my mother that premium care.
How about that?
Speaker 1 (15:31):
And they should have.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
We were paying premium prices.
Yes, sir, at that Piedmont.
Yes, we were paying premiumprices at that Piedmont, but
because my mother was notcomplaining or saying anything,
her Alzheimer's is advancedenough.
They're like oh well, missMouse, we put the buzzer on your
mom's lap.
She don't know what that is,she don't know the difference
(15:54):
between the TV remote or thecall the nurse button.
And why would she know when sheneeds to call a nurse?
She don't even know what'shurting.
What are you talking about?
I need y'all to go in therelike every hour on the hour,
check on her, just look at her,touch something, poke something
and see how she responds.
But they don't always do that.
They don't always do that.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
They don't always do that.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
The squeaky wheel gets the oil.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
Can I ask you this?
Yeah, like dealing with yourmom, like I was thinking
recently, like they must be inbliss, like they don't know that
they're not bad Right.
They don't know it's bad Right.
I mean, you know that she'smaybe deteriorating, but does
the person with the afflictionAlzheimer's or with the dementia
(16:41):
, do they know that they're?
Speaker 2 (16:43):
not what they once were.
Well, first thing is I don'tknow.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
Yeah, that was just a great answer.
That was a great answer I damnsure don't know.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
I damn sure don't know.
I will tell you.
What my advocacy and researchand digging has shown me is that
it depends on where they are inthe spectrum of the Alzheimer's
progression.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
Okay, Early on they know and they're pissed or sad
Right, because they're trying tocollect those thoughts and they
can't.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
That's correct.
And why me and why this happen?
And heaven forbid if theysomewhat lived a healthy air,
quote, clean life, and they'relike I don't know what the hell
happened to my brain.
I ain't smoke, I ain't drink, Islept eight hours a day.
What in the world?
Speaker 1 (17:29):
So there's a little bit of woe is me Because they're
calling it type 3 diabetes.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
A lot of the upper scientists.
You better be on it.
That's what I'm trying to doLook at you.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
I'm trying to understand.
I really have been trying tounderstand.
You ain't seeing just jokes.
Well, you know, I try to be agood advocate.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
Yeah, but that is seriously.
That is a thing that theresearch scientists are
investigating.
Is dementia, diabetes, typethree.
Now the practitioners haven'tall gotten on board because they
don't have enough data andenough research studies.
(18:07):
Blah, blah, blah.
But anyway, just for me and youand for everyone else out,
there is a good rule of thumbthat they are believing that,
yes, it is a problem with ourbrain processing the glucose
that it needs.
Yeah, and when that gets off,there's a problem.
Um, so so maybe in the next 20years there'll be some
(18:30):
medication for it maybe yeah, orthey could even tell us what to
not do, because I wonder, like,how we have, like, alzheimer's
is acting a fool right about now.
It is 50 years ago it wasn'tacting a fool.
People just got older and gotsenile, but they wasn't.
This Alzheimer's thing isdifferent.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
But it also wasn't as many special needs kids either,
that's true.
Well, maybe well, we don't knowyou know what?
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Because we, but they wasn't in our classroom.
They might have been.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
Might have been me man.
I might have been, I mightstill be a little slow.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
They might be like Jay.
You ain't know, because it wasyou.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
And you know, this whole thing really concerns me
as a stroke survivor.
Yes, so that's one of thequestions I ask my docs.
I'm like, look, am Ipredisposed to you know, know,
because I had a traumatic brainissue am I looking at?
Speaker 2 (19:28):
scared the shit out of me by the way.
I got things started poppingthrough and I was like this is a
joke and I was like he ain'teven home.
How dare you get sick on theroad.
I'm in a hospital, going viral,going viral.
Somebody cover up my ass.
I'm going viral, right, please?
Yeah, going viral somebody comeup my ass.
I'm going viral, right, please,yeah.
Yeah, that was serious.
(19:48):
That was I mean, we werelaughing through it, but it was
very serious indeed it was apoint where it was touch and go
and speaking of pairing it up.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
My brother, my brother Ryan Evans, he stood
there for me, man.
I just ran into a picture theother day that almost made me
cry because he was, you know,shaving me.
You know, during those times,man, and I never forget, just
him just going.
You're gonna beat this, you'regonna be all right.
Come on, champ, go throughthere being a carry.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
Thank you for this segue being a carry.
Such an independent man you areyou.
You served our country.
Thank you very much, navy.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Eight years yes.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Yes, and to know, alright, my body won't do what I
tell it to, but I have lovedones, my brother.
What I can't do is wipe my butt.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
Right now.
My left hand was a littleafflicted.
I couldn't do is wipe my butt.
Right now.
My left hand was a littleafflicted, I couldn't walk.
You know Well who wiped yourbutt.
I had a lady.
So my CNA it wasn't yourbrother.
My brother wouldn't do it, hewouldn't do it.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
He'd do the line at the end.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
And no, but my CNA was a wonderful wiper.
Let me tell you something thislady would wipe my butt with the
precision of a professional.
She was so thorough.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
Like right now, my butt is nowhere near as clean as
that lady had my butt, butthat's also what.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
I had to learn.
I had to learn over time to goto the bathroom alone again.
And to appreciate it Okay.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
For a minute.
You weren't going to thebathroom by yourself.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
I needed some help, needed some help.
I had to lean.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
Left side, right side .
Speaker 1 (21:38):
My hand was flicked Like even now.
I was at the gym yesterday andI was lifting weights and my
hand looking a little a little alittle handy right is it a
little too handy.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
I like my hand a little bit, a little bit like a
gravy later.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
it look a little, it look a little.
I'm like I gotta get thisstrong, okay, but it's also the
connection connection betweenyour brain.
So my breakthrough came.
So my hand is, my left hand isflicked, I can talk to it, but
it wasn't responding to my brainand so my occupational
(22:14):
therapist come in with a box andon each side of the boxes
mirrors.
So the idea is you put your,your your broke hand in the box
and you look at your good handin the mirror.
Okay, and maybe, if you'relucky, you could trick your
brain to think that the hand inthe mirror that's this hand, is
really this hand and that suckerworked.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
Are you?
Speaker 1 (22:33):
serious.
It worked immediately that day.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
That's like at the county fair with the house of
the mirrors.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
It tricks your brain and it made me think.
I went to my hospital room thatafternoon and I masturbated did
it work.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
It did okay, thank you for that I mean I don't know
about you.
Every time I try, it don'talways work sometimes.
I'm like what the hell thesefingers, these fingers ain't
what they used to be trash.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
Throw these fingers away, get out of here.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
Hilarious when you were Trash, throw these things
away, get out of here.
Hilarious, when you werepreparing after your stroke.
Right, we're talking about youbeing a Carrie now.
And you're like, okay, I'mwalking, I'm talking.
How do you know, alright, I canget back on the road, I can
(23:23):
start performing again?
Where is that mental strengththat lets you know, all right, I
can get back on the road, I canstart performing again?
Where is that mental strengththat lets you say, all right,
they say I can leave thehospital, but can I get back to
being Rodney Perry?
Speaker 1 (23:35):
Well, I'm having those thoughts before I even
leave the hospital.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Because I'm processing this and it's not
funny.
No, it's not funny.
No, it's not funny.
I mean, you are literally.
I don't know if I'm going tostand again, let alone do
stand-up.
But part of my therapy was,before I left the hospital.
I did a set at the hospital formy caregivers Are you serious?
(24:00):
My physical therapist, myoccupational therapist, my
speech therapist.
They sat in the room and theywatched me perform and that was
part of my therapy.
I had a goal to perform beforeI left, and so that was the
beginning of it.
I mean, did I know I would beback on the road flying and
stuff again?
I wasn't thinking about that, Iwas thinking about standing.
(24:20):
I know that's right.
And my big adjustment is, ofcourse, I'm like I've always
been super physical, and so whenI first came back, I didn't
have it.
I couldn't be as physical andmy long-term memory was damaged
so I could only remember stuffthat I had made up in the
(24:42):
hospital.
So I had no material.
You owe me money.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
About I think about $12,000.
Yeah, that was before thestroke, though it happened
before the stroke.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
Yeah, I lost some of that.
Yeah, okay, all right, but Ihad, so I only had.
I knew how to tell jokes, right, I just couldn't access any old
jokes and it took me probablyabout a year to be able to
access my older material.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
Were there techniques that your therapist gave you to
access that memory, or did youjust have to wait for it to
unlock?
Speaker 1 (25:24):
Not so much techniques, but he did give me
like brain stuff.
Like my speech therapist, hewould constantly give me like
brain teasers and tools to kindof strengthen and I even do them
now, like certain games I playon my phone.
It's just to sharpen my brain,okay, and so I'm kind of always
(25:44):
working on that.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
Yeah, what's your favorite?
One of those or one of them?
Speaker 1 (25:48):
your brain games.
I play Domino's.
That's a brain game.
I'm still an old black man,yeah, absolutely Counting and
winning.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
Counting and winning, winning.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
Winning is important.
It's a very important part Ibeat my brother while I was in
the hospital at Madden, Really,and that was a huge breakthrough
because I mean he was so mad.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
That's a lot of I mean, madden is a lot of going
on.
That's 50,000 decisions you'remaking in every play and
clicking and pressing and so.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
Madden helped me with some of my motor skills Okay,
and my brain, and I remember Iwas telling my buddy I was like
I whooped your ass while I had astroke.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
Shit, he feels like hell don't he, he should.
He should, he should, Iwouldn't have, I wouldn't have
played.
Well, he thought he was helping, but he did help you.
He did, he did, he did, hefound out.
He's, you know, horrible.
Yeah, second is the first loser.
See that, ricky.
Bobby that is a fact.
(26:49):
This has been for me with you,rodney.
It is personal what you'veshared with me about your family
, your life and what yourpost-stroke advocacy.
I know that you also, you speakand you go and you tell your
(27:14):
story with honor and with humorso that others can benefit from
it.
So I want to, I want to commendyou for that and I want to ask
you if what is, uh, somethinglike, particularly maybe with
your mother-in-law, um, that youhave found great humor in like
(27:35):
I can't believe this lady is.
You know she's this age and sheis struggling, but this is
still funny and this is stillkind of cool and at least we got
this.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
Well, this is the thing.
So you know.
You just never know what dayshe's going to wake up on.
Okay, you know, sometimes shewake up 20 years ago when she
worked at Dillard's.
Okay, you know, and she betalking to these people.
I'm like Miss Karen, who youtalking to?
She said I'm talking to Diane.
I said who is Diane?
(28:07):
She's my supervisor, dillon.
I'm like well, what you goingto do?
I got to clean up this place.
I ain't going to lie.
Will she be on that cleanupshit?
Speaker 2 (28:18):
I let her clean up, because she really cleans up.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
Listen, she will sweeping that motherfucker's
back porch.
My wife, be like.
You're going to stop making mydaughter, my mother, clean up.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
Right, and you're like she wanted to.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
She thought that she was a dealer in stockbrokers.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
Well, because they do say in everything with dementia
you're supposed, you know it'slike role playing You're
supposed to let them go, andyou're supposed to let them go
and you're supposed to followthem, so that's what you were
doing.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
She's still funny, though.
Like what did she tell me?
Like, oh, we was talking, wewas talking and I said where you
about to go, miss Karen, shegot up, you know.
I said where you about to go.
I'm about to roll out likeLudacris.
I'm like what, what?
Speaker 2 (29:00):
What you know about, what you know about what you
know about.
Little Prince, let me find out,miss Karen, in these streets,
miss.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
Karen, miss Karen's still funny, she's still that's
beautiful.
And you know I dread the daywhen she begins To really
deteriorate, right.
But you know, I mean, at theend of the day I mean, you know,
so I'm the oldest, I thinkbirth order matters too Okay,
like I'm the oldest, I thinkbirth order matters too Okay,
like I'm the oldest.
So to care for my mother wasnothing for me.
(29:28):
My wife is a middle child, okay, and you know, middle children
don't really be trying to takecare of nobody but her oldest
and her baby.
They're not stepping up, so shekind of default to the
caregiver she the second oldest,she the second oldest, she's
(29:48):
the middle child.
And so she's a reluctantcaregiver.
She's like yo.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
What is this, but you went through it already, right?
Speaker 1 (29:59):
Yeah, but you know, walk up out of my shoes.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
Absolutely.
This has been such a phenomenalconversation and you know I'm
going to have you back.
I'll give you the topic later.
We ain't going to tell youWhatever you want to talk about,
I'm game Before we go.
There's one question.
I end each segment with it'scalled a snuggle up Okay.
There's one question.
I end each segment with it'scalled a snuggle up, okay, where
(30:25):
the idea is if a caregivercould just snuggle up to this
idea, you know, just kind of goahead and go ahead and snuggle
up to this idea, just like easeon into it.
baby, your role as a familycaregiver will be easier or less
stressful.
(30:45):
As a caregiver, as a caree,what this is symbolic of saying
we're going to snuggle up let'ssnuggle up, then I'm ready.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
What is your?
What would?
Speaker 2 (31:02):
be a snuggle up.
That Snuggle up, then I'm ready.
What is your?
What would be a snuggle up thatcomes to mind for you?
Speaker 1 (31:07):
Oh wow, what a great question.
I mean, you got to snuggle upto the fact that your loved one
isn't doing whatever they'redoing, deliberately, that's a
word.
There's no malice, it's just apart of their life and it feels
(31:33):
like they get it, but they don't.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
You better say that.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
It feels like they get it and you can tend to be
like I know you fucking heard me, you be like nigga, they didn't
, they didn't, they did.
She don't get it at all.
She's still at Dillard's andyou got to snuggle up to the
idea that wherever they thinkthey are, they are.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
And they are not trying to piss you off and ruin
your day.
Not at all.
Not at all.
Speaker 1 (31:59):
Not at all.
They probably don't even feelthat it's bad.
Right, all, not at all.
They probably don't even feelthat it's bad.
We're living the bad part,maybe, if it's bad at all, it's
true, it's our interpretationand maybe somewhere on a
different time, plane everythingis okay.
Speaker 2 (32:21):
Y'all didn't know comedians could get deep, did
you, my man?
Just did it, my man just did it, my man just did it.
Plato Socrates, Nostradamus onus.
Speaker 1 (32:31):
I mean, what if we were all wrong?
What if we're the one that'sfucked up somewhere, absolutely
Laying there looking out thewindow?
It's possible, you never know,it's possible.
Speaker 2 (32:40):
I think it's possible , it's possible.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
I think it's possible , it's possible.
Speaker 2 (32:46):
Thank you so much, rodney.
But listen, share witheverybody what you have going on
currently, what's coming up inthe near future, where they can
follow you, where they can findyou.
Speaker 1 (32:56):
Rodney Perry live on all social media and I'll be
directing my first movie, myfirst feature film this year.
So I'm excited about that.
It's a thriller.
Speaker 2 (33:03):
Me too.
I know I'll have a part, evenif it's no speaking right.
Hold, on.
Speaker 1 (33:08):
No, I just don't want to lie to you because you know
I picks up my DMs, just likethat.
I'm not the producer, but I'mdefinitely directing.
But I mean, you never know Ifyou ain't busy.
We shooting in Raleigh.
Speaker 2 (33:19):
Yeah, I ain't busy.
All right, raleigh, here wecome.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
Here we come, okay.
So I'm looking forward to that.
It's exciting and you know I'vehad a pretty lengthy career
because I kind of understand howto reinvent myself.
So we're always trying to stayconnected to the young people.
Speaker 2 (33:39):
Love it, I love it.
Roddy Perry, everybody, theSnuggle up.
Rodney Perry.
You notice I didn't put an asson it because stuff got a little
wonky in the studio, so we'regoing to get one big summary
snuggle up for him.
(34:00):
This man has been a caregiverand a caree.
He cared for his mother, he isa assisting his wife with his
mother-in-law, and then he wasthe caree and through it, all
the amount of humor and gracethat he used, that's what stands
(34:21):
out the most and that's whatstands out the most and that's
what I'm hoping everyone can usein their journey as a caregiver
.
Give yourself grace, give thosearound you grace, because as
you heal and take your medicineand do whatever the doctors say
or the experts, stuff can getbetter.
(34:42):
There can be a light at the endof the talk.
What's up y'all?
I'm over here just mixing andscratching up stuff and
reminding y'all.
Patreon is open.
It is open and ready for you,you, you, you and you, and your
(35:03):
mama too.
We are loading up things.
All things Zetty, all thingspodcast, all things caregiving
behind the scenes, extra stuff.
J Smile's comedy is droppingwith her own little collection
within the J Smile StudioPatreon.
Very, very soon.
(35:23):
It'll be less than a month, butyou want to go on and get in
there because there's exclusives.
That's kind of time sensitiveto whoever is in there first.
We've already had livebroadcasts for people who are
already in and I'm going to behonest because of, you know,
(35:43):
branding matters.
So there's some stuff that Ijust can't say and do on the
World Wide Web that I can do inthe Patreon pantry.
So if you want to see and knowand hear and experience more of
(36:04):
what's happening between my ears, come to the J Smile Studio, my
Patreon pantry.
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