January 27, 2025 • 52 mins
Join us as we speak with Omar Alvarez about volunteering with elders, his grandfather, and Puerto Rican culture, and how each of these played a part in helping him develop KINNECT! Kinnect is a family legacy app that helps preserve family stories, making it easy to keep and share memories for generations.
As a family caregiver, grandson, and person who had close friends who unfortunately lost their lives at an early age, Omar wanted to create a way for people to preserve their photos, videos and even audio recordings in a meaningful way. Visit http://Kinnect.club to learn more.
Please watch the video version of this episode in part on youtube.com/@parentingup or in full at http://patreon.com/jsmilesstudios (membership required).
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I decided to quit everything and my husband
supported all this and you knowworking on figuring out what is
like the easiest way for us tosave our memories in these
spaces.
So I built Connect and foranyone who's curious on how it
works is I know, and you knowthis, that it's just really
really hard to organize memoriesand stories and also think
(00:20):
about making it accessible toall folks, of all types, of all
ages.
Think about making itaccessible to all folks of all
types of all ages.
And if we think about theFacebooks or the Instagrams or
things that we kind of all hatebecause they're actually not
true storytelling places andthey also connect sorry, they
also create more disconnectionthan connection.
I decided to take what I hateabout these environments, what I
hate about memory preservationtoday, and build connect.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Parenting up caregiving adventures with
comedian Jay Smiles is theintense journey of unexpectedly
being fully responsible for mymama.
For over a decade I've beenchipping away at the unknown,
advocating for her and pushingAlzheimer's awareness on anyone
and anything with a heartbeatSpoiler alert.
(01:03):
This shit is heavy.
That's why I started doingcomedy.
Alzheimer's awareness on anyoneand anything with a heartbeat
Spoiler alert this shit is heavy.
That's why I started doingcomedy.
So be ready for the jokes.
Caregiver newbies, ogs andvillage members just willing to
prop up a caregiver.
You are in the right place.
Hi, this is Zeddy.
(01:25):
I hope you enjoy my daughter'spodcast.
Is that okay?
Today's supporter shout outcomes from Apple Podcast.
Here is she.
Love this episode.
(01:48):
Loved hearing the serious yetcomedic approach with both J
Smiles and Kelly Kells.
Kelly Kells hashtag the GrandmaWhisperer.
They brought to theconversation of caregiving
generationally, especially aboutour mothers, grands and
(02:09):
great-grands.
I relate to being connected Ourmother and elders and providing
care in a beautifullyempathetic way.
Thank you, harry Shee.
If you want to be a supportershout out recipient, please
leave a review on Apple podcast,youtube or Instagram.
(02:35):
Thank you.
Today's episode creating,capturing and keeping memories
with Alzheimer's.
Hey, what's up?
Parented Up family.
Guess what have you ever wanted?
To connect with othercaregivers?
You want to see morebehind-the-scenes footage?
(02:56):
Want to know what me and Zeddyare doing?
I know you do All things.
Jsmiles are finally ready foryou, even when I go live.
Do it now with us on Patreon.
Join us in the Patreoncommunity.
(03:16):
Catch everything we're doing.
Visit patreoncom forward.
Slash JSmilesStudios with an SParenting Up community.
You know, I like to have alittle sizzle, a little pop.
We laugh along the way, welearn something and we meet new
(03:40):
friends.
Today we're going to smash allthat up together.
We have Omar Alvarez and whilehe has done a whole bunch of
really cool things in life andhe's not even that old and he's
gorgeous but listen, we're noton here.
Okay, trying to get married andget dates.
But now, if you end up gettingmarried to him and get a date,
(04:02):
just listen, dm me.
I do want a percentage.
I expect to be there and I likeoysters that's my favorite meal
.
But before we get into all ofthat, okay, we are here talking
about caregiving loved ones, howwe manage taking care of the
people we love when dementiapops them in the face.
(04:24):
And Omar has a way to getaround all that stuff.
What's good, omar, how youdoing honey.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Yo Jay, all good here .
It's great to see you again.
Thank you for having me on theshow and hello to the community,
nice to meet y'all.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
Yes, yes, yes.
And for those of you who may beaudio, only know that you can
always pop on over to YouTubeand see us, but if it's audio,
only just know.
Listen to the warmth in hisvoice and know that everything
really is born of love.
So, quick backdrop Let theparenting up community know,
(05:11):
know, how did you get intocaregiving you?
Because you're not tell.
Okay, let's do it like thisgive us a sprinkling of how old
you're not.
I don't know if you want togive up, give away your age, but
at least say hey, I'm not 50,I'm under what age?
Who is it that you are soconnected to that?
You said I've got to be anactive member of this community.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Absolutely, jed.
So you know, like all of us, weall have our experience of like
dementia in this community andsupporting the people we love.
And for me, this actuallystarted when I was younger, in
high school.
I'm 33.
So I'm getting in the middleage lane right now.
I just turned 33.
I wouldn't say I'm a proud 33year old, but I'm just glad to
(05:53):
be alive.
But yeah, when it comes to thespace and this support and care
system, I'm sorry, hold on.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
Did you say I'm getting to middle age, listen
here.
Hold on.
Did you say I'm getting tomiddle age, listen here, honey
you are so far from middle ageyou don't even have a wrinkle.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Anyway, continue, they're so funny.
For me, when it comes to thedementia and caregiving space, I
had a very direct role intoseeing my grandfather have a
have a dementia for 10 yearsbefore his passing and then,
separately from that, I was alsovolunteering in high school at
an independent senior livingspace while I was in high school
.
So, when it comes to theenvironments and understanding
(06:38):
and learning, my passion forgiving, my passion for listening
, my passion for understandingwhat is memory, recall, memory
activation all that started inhigh school from personal
experience with seeing mygrandfather go through it.
But, as we all know, it's notjust him that has to navigate
that experience.
It's our whole family thatnavigates that journey with him.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Yes, okay.
Volunteering at a senior centerin high school yeah, what rock
did you grow up under?
Like what?
Who the hell does that, omarWell?
Speaker 1 (07:13):
I was.
You know I have the really,really fun experience in high
school where people tend to talkabout how they would go back to
college and you know that waslike their formative fun years.
But I had an amazing communityin high school where our high
school really encouraged us tovolunteer and less than a mile
away from our high school was ahuge independent senior living
(07:35):
space.
So we used to frequent itduring the holidays, frequent it
throughout the year to check inon the seniors there and spend
time being present present andlistening, present and asking
about their lives.
And when you're at that age youare right in hindsight go me,
go little Omar, like what a coolguy.
But in hindsight that really isan actual view of my passion
(07:58):
for storytelling.
You know, as we all know, whenyou're in those spaces you tend
to remember your life and thinkabout what is remnant therapy,
where I start to understandthose topics.
Yeah, I was very lucky to havethat space so close to home so I
can actually learn from thosethat were before me and
understand what the healthcaresystem needs for our aging
(08:19):
population.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Where did you grow up ?
Where was this high school?
Speaker 1 (08:22):
Where did you grow up ?
Where was this high school?
Yeah, I grew up in FranklinPark, illinois.
It's about 25 minutes away fromO'Hare in Illinois, but I did
grow up in Chicago proper priorto moving there, got it.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
I know I've always enjoyed listening to old people.
I got to tell you I really likekids and I like old people.
I happen to be living in themiddle of that.
I don't really like people myown age nearly as much but kids
and old people, oh my God.
The stories.
Right, kids are normally usingtheir imagination to just make
(08:59):
up a story, but I can listen tothem.
You could call it a lie or youcould call it fantasy.
I choose to call it fantasy.
And the elderly?
They're telling you stories ofyesteryear and because you
didn't live any of it and youdidn't see it and it sounds like
a fantasy.
It's like what?
You didn't have a car, youdidn't have lights or it was
(09:24):
illegal for a woman to own ahouse.
Whatever the story may be, itsounds like another world.
I can imagine that you havingthat experience in high school
prior to knowing this would beyour line of work, actually
informs a lot of what you do.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Absolutely.
I had no idea, but I didn'tknow at that time that it would
be helping me.
You're right.
I think the most beautifulthing about stories is the power
that they have and the power ofthe folks that lived in that
right.
There's something reallyspecial about my grandmother,
who is in rural Puerto Rico.
She's alive today, thank God.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Yay, you know what An alive grandmother is an angel
on earth.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
Absolutely, and like getting to see her and the way
she still lives in that samehome that she raised my mom and
her siblings in, and the way shejust thinks about life, and
it's such a beautiful way to seesomeone who was just to be
direct, not ruined by socialmedia, not ruined by poor
communication standards.
You actually have someone thatvalues like direct conversation
(10:35):
and is always, always positive,and I think it's because she's
done a great job of like stayingin the space that she feels the
most comfortable in.
She has not been jaded by allthe news and the media and the
constant pings back and forth,you know, and it so keeps her
pure.
She's truly an angel on earth,as you said.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Yeah, I love that.
So now your caregiving.
I'm sure there was some periodof time between high school and
becoming so involved with yourgrandfather's care.
What were you doingprofessionally or socially
during that space?
Speaker 1 (11:13):
Yeah, yeah.
Well, it kind of combines a bitmore into what's happened later
, which is now that I'm able toconnect with so many caregivers.
About that experience and alsounderstanding the needs of the
caregiving community today, Ithink what's quite important
about my experience involunteering in these
independent living spaces wasdirectly seeing why those
(11:34):
administrative officers andfolks were so excited about the
volunteers At that point.
I didn't fully understand atthat age, but now I do.
It's because they're so burntout, right.
These administrators, thesecaregivers, are exhausted for
many various reasons.
And then, similarly, when Iwould go to Puerto Rico earlier
in that journey, same thingunderstanding, like who is
(11:54):
helping who, watching the familymembers come in and out from
all parts of the United Statesto go support my grandfather in
Puerto Rico, and alsounderstanding what the
relationship dynamics of thesecaregivers are to our family.
You know, I don't think anyonein my family understood that
this caregiver coming into thespace to help my grandfather was
not just providing care for him.
This person became part of thefamily.
(12:16):
They were giving us updatesevery single day.
They were telling us theirneeds, what they need, support
in how exhausted they were.
And now, as an older adult andas I think about supporting
these spaces and helping people.
I think about that right awayto heart is these folks are
exhausted and these folks arenot supported.
The government has failed insupporting this space.
(12:37):
It's becoming a biggerconversation because of it.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
Yes, very much, very much.
Now I'm not going to let all ofthe juicy bits and pieces out
just yet, but hey, parenting UpCommunity, he has created and
built an amazing product andthere are multiple products that
(13:00):
are coming out.
I'm going to let him tell us alittle bit more about that, but
give us a tad bit of thatfantastic background that has
kind of led you into you knowwhat.
I want to back up a second,because we are a family
caregiving community.
Your grandfather, what?
(13:22):
Let your family know?
Hey, he's not quite himself.
Yes, he's aging.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
But this is not normal senility.
He's not just rambling on aboutthe news.
You know, we think he needsmedical intervention are you?
Speaker 1 (13:47):
aware of, kind of maybe, what some of those signs
were, that let the family knowwe got to do something
absolutely a combination from aaudible uh decline.
We start to hear like a changein the way that he was speaking.
That was a pretty big earlier.
That's a pretty big sign earlyon in the process.
It's like, hey, Papa, what'swhat we call them?
Papa is starting to talk alittle bit differently.
(14:09):
And then you kind of go intothe other things that are
cognitive, right.
So his shaking- of hands.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
One second, Omar, just because there are a lot of
people who they're at the verybeginning and they're trying to
determine who in our communityif there's a problem.
So when you say he was startingto speak differently, are you
talking about the pace of hislanguage or he was using
different words?
Can you give a little moredetail?
Speaker 1 (14:37):
Absolutely.
We start to see a change in theway he would respond.
First off, we start to see likea pace difference he would
respond.
First off, we started to seelike a pace difference.
So as we're currently talking,we can kind of see like a back
and forth interaction, almostfeel free and almost immediate.
We started to see like a delayin some of the responses that he
was giving.
So that was one thing, and then, separately, with that great,
(14:57):
great follow up, there is alsothe way he was saying his words,
at least for us in the in thePuertoerto rican dialogue, the
spanish community, we do talk alittle bit different.
We talk a little bit fast.
There is a little bit of a aspiciness of the way we talk, if
you will, and I love it.
Yeah, I love it completely, allthe time and that's the thing is
(15:18):
, it's hard to also hear thatthe way that his enunciation in
certain characters and words wasalso changing.
And I think, with Puerto Ricanculture like this just being
such a dynamic back and forthexchange of words at a speed
that's often sometimes hard tounderstand, even before his
diagnosis continues, prognosis,right, that it was very clear
(15:41):
for us that something wasn'tadding up.
And then to the next part.
You know that's was very clearfor us that something wasn't
adding up.
And then you to to the nextpart.
You know that's one of thesigns.
A separate one is watching hishis, the way he was writing, the
way he was like unable to likehold the pen in a certain
capacity, be shaking his handwhile he's writing something,
and also like a delay in the wayhe wanted to write a phrase.
(16:02):
You know, I think that's thoseare the things that we were able
to see is like huh, audibly,something's not adding up
anymore.
And then, separately, when he'strying to write something, you
can tell that there's almostlike this frustration because it
was early, right, he had earlyonset.
So we can tell that he was likegetting frustrated with himself
and at first we did think itwas related to like an aging
(16:23):
decline, but no, like it waslike he was just fighting his
brain basically to like writethese existing patterns,
existing words, phrases he had,and it was just getting harder
for him.
Yeah that had to be tough thathad to be tough yeah, uh, he was
, uh, when the when the familyto, and the thing was with the
(16:47):
Puerto Rican Latino culture as awhole.
There is studies that are donethat show that oftentimes the
healthcare systems and therelationship to doctors and the
healthcare spaces sometimes wekind of push it away.
It's almost like the very lastresort.
You know where I feel, like inother cultures if you're just
sick you go straight to thedoctor.
(17:08):
But my grandfather washardheaded, he did not want to
entertain the spaces, but mygrandmother and my family really
pushed him to go and thenthat's when this test started
happening and unfortunately, webelieve there is multiple
triggers of stress levels.
That happened in our personalfamily.
(17:28):
That, unfortunately, we believeare the reasons why his
dementia started earlier.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
Okay.
Was he living in Puerto Ricowhen the diagnosis occurred?
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Yes, and that's.
He was living in Puerto Ricoand as much as I love my island,
I love the culture, my people,everything around it, in
comparison to, let's say, someplaces that we both know, like
in Chicago or Texas Right, it isa different quality of care, so
it did become a bigger topic inthe family.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
My mother, zeddy, was in Montgomery, alabama, when
everything started to unraveland while it is the capital of
(18:20):
the state, the state has neverbeen at the forefront of
technology.
It's at the forefront of racism, but that is not what you want
when it's time to have your LOtreated.
So I found that it wasnecessary to take her to Los
(18:41):
Angeles when it was time to havesome significant testing run
and then ultimately move her toAtlanta when we wanted
maintenance and management ofher care.
So it was.
I do understand what you'resaying, because it there's no
(19:01):
particular area or part of theUS where you could even say, oh
yeah, we just let's just get toa certain there's no even
certain state like their cities.
They're literally just.
There are certain cities whereyou can say, ok, if I can get
within this training or researchfacility, I should be OK.
Now with your grandfather, whatwas he diagnosed with?
(19:27):
Alzheimer's.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
Yeah, early on to dementia, and then the doctor
was basically saying that thesigns relating to Alzheimer's
yeah, another something that youasked earlier, jay, which I
actually learned recently intalking to neuroscientists and
just in watching different kindsof media formats too, is an
easy not an easy wrong wording,pardon, but another way of
(19:49):
almost thinking about.
Like, if you're wondering ifsomething's happening from a
cognitive ability to someone youlove, there is a simple thing
you can almost try, which is youask a person to grab a piece of
paper and then you ask them todraw the time, the clock, and
then say, hey, can you draw 7 14pm?
Hey, can you draw 3 12 am?
(20:11):
Like you know, just go aheadand, like, allow the person to
really think about, like, huh,this is something I've seen my
entire life a clock, can I goahead and use the small and big
hand to get to the time that theperson's asking me?
That was something I wish weknew earlier, because I feel
like that would have allowed usto almost, like, really think
about what are the, the earliersigns that we can measure in
(20:34):
that capacity.
The technology today, as youknow, has changed, where now you
can use your phone tounderstand and measure if people
are responding in a particularway on your phone or tapping
things differently.
Those can almost be queued upto measure if someone might be
showing signs of early dementia.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
I love that.
I love that.
You're right.
There are a lot of apps andthings of that nature.
But a sheet of paper, a pen ora pencil and doing the analog
clock just old school, draw acircle.
A pen or a pencil and doing theanalog clock just old school,
draw a circle.
That's right.
I recall.
You know I never thank you forthat.
I never thought about usingthat as a tool for a marker,
(21:17):
just to see as a baseline.
I remember them asking that ofmy mom and I was heartbroken of
the way her clock looked.
It was, um, I'm gonna say itwas a free form, oval and it had
some numbers down in the four,five, six area and it wasn't
(21:43):
four, five and six, that wasjust the area that they were in.
And then the hands, the long andthe short hands, did not make
it inside of the circle at all,they were just somewhere else
floating on the page and Iremember just collecting myself
and you know, walk into anotherpart of the room and thinking,
(22:05):
just collecting myself and youknow, walk into another part of
the room and thinking this is,this is bad.
I don't know what just happened, but I don't like it.
Yeah, so that is something.
Parenting Up Community Omarjust gave us all a very, very
non-scientific but extremelyexecutable method of testing if
(22:29):
something is not connecting.
Another thing that they told mewas asking your LO to read out
loud.
Now obviously I think you wouldneed to be someone who you know,
because you would know whattheir reading level is.
You know, some individuals mayhave have a PhD, others may have
(22:51):
finished the eighth grade.
So you need to be someone youare familiar with so you can say
OK, this is a book or anewspaper or a magazine, that
reading this should not havebeen a problem.
And if they cannot look at itshould not have been a problem.
And if they cannot look at it,there's something that happens
with the brain looking at thepage and connecting with the
(23:13):
words and saying it out loud.
That is very different thanwriting or watching television.
So that's two simple things.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
So okay, point jay, if you have the opportunity and
you're nervous about the lovedone, right, yeah, audible, and
then something written for themare two very easy, affordable
things that we can all do, thatdon't cost money and like you're
right, and that clinicaloutcomes.
But we all know, if we lovesomeone, you really know them.
(23:45):
You can tell right away ifthey're reading and there's a
sound rate or if they can't drawa clock in the time you're
asking them to do it.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
Exactly, and you know it also should be an exercise
that allows other family membersto maybe get on board, because
I often, you know, there's kindof one person who's kind of
pushing to say, hey, you know,mom, dad, sister, cousin, this
(24:13):
is not quite, they're not kindof doing right.
Like you know, Auntie Teresa isnot quite right and everybody's
like, well, what do you mean?
You know she's under a lot ofstress or she's doing too much,
she's working too hard, or youknow someone just passed away
and she's sad.
But if you had this example totell other family members,
(24:36):
that's kind of hard for them toignore, and so then maybe you're
not fighting on your own likeclimbing up a brick wall or like
an example I like to use is,you're not a fish climbing a
tree.
You have something on your sideto help you out.
So hopefully that will be ableto help some people in the
(24:57):
community.
All right, so let's talk aboutthis fun stuff, this fun stuff
that you have created to helpfamily members and caregivers
smile through the hard times.
The umbrella product is calledConnect.
(25:18):
Tell us about it, Omar.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
Yeah, absolutely.
When someone is showing signsof dementia early and they're
able to have the understandingand awareness that they're
losing their memories, andseparately as a family, if
you're able to understand thatthat person you love so much is
also losing the not just yourmemories, right, they're losing
historical knowledge, they'relosing cultural insight.
(25:44):
They have all this insight thatthe family has yet to ask or
yet to know about, because we'reall busy and sometimes you
don't really know what to say orwhat questions to ask in these
capacities.
That's when my passion forstorytelling outside of
volunteering in an independentsenior living space, but really
thinking about specifically whatare the stories that we want to
(26:07):
capture and why is it so hardto actually find a product that
makes it easy for our familiesand friends to connect in these
private spaces so thatvulnerability happens?
So I uh, quite everything I wasworking on um about almost
almost two years ago actuallyhad to share this with you, jay.
I don't know if you know thispart, but my grandfather is half
(26:29):
the reason in Building Connectand I want to share this with
the caregiving community.
One of my friends that was myage, 31, 32 years old was
diagnosed with cancer andhalfway through his two and a
half year battle, it was obviousthat it was terminal.
So you have someone that's myage, that's married, also
(26:51):
seeking a space to save hismemories and his connect with
his friends and family that arearound the country, or even that
the fact that he has a wifelike he, he wanted to save these
memories for her, messages forher, you know, like a heads up
for a birthday or something likethat.
(27:12):
I decided to quit everythingand my husband supported all
this and you know working onfiguring out what is like, know,
and you know this, that it'sjust really really hard to
organize memories and storiesand also think about making it
accessible to all folks, of alltypes, of all ages.
(27:34):
And if we think about theFacebooks or the Instagrams or
things that we kind of all hatebecause they're actually not
true storytelling places, andthey also connect sorry, they
also create more disconnectionthan connection.
I decided to take what I hateabout these environments, what I
hate about memory preservationtoday, and build connect.
So now anyone can join, connectand we've created these
(27:55):
storybooks.
These storybooks are books likemy partner remembering them my
20s, millennial life, right,these really fun sections of
life that someone can decide toselect, and every single book
has five chapters.
When you open up a chapter, wealready give you questions for
you to answer in audio videotext and even upload pictures
(28:17):
into it.
What's really really reallyspecial?
Um, and some.
As we all know what thecommunity is, storytelling is
really powerful.
It has effects of reminiscencetherapy to allow the person to
remember their lived in.
And so, as we all know what thecommunity is, storytelling is
really powerful.
It has effects of reminiscencetherapy to allow the person to
remember their lived experienceand what they've done.
But yeah, we then kind of allowthe person to share these
memories into a feed for thosepeople they've invited to see.
(28:39):
What's pretty special is youcan continually add people over
time as your family expands andit just it's kind of like the
Netflix of your family memoriesand stories, because you can
continually add people over timeas your family expands and it
just it's kind of like theNetflix of your family memories
and stories Cause you can goback.
I can watch Jay smiles and kindof see like her talking about
all these elements of her lifein five years, 10 years, 20
years.
You just never know when you'regoing to want to go back and
(29:00):
listen to these people that haveaffected our timelines and our
lives forever.
Speaker 2 (29:05):
Wow, let me tell you how many unorganized videos I
have of very significant moments, of of me capturing a thought
(29:29):
directly, or I'm capturingothers.
It may be the environment.
I could just be walkingsomewhere.
Maybe I'm walking throughEurope, maybe I'm walking
through Cape Town, maybe I'mwalking through Cape Town, or I
(29:52):
am talking to my mom from a timewhen she could actually answer
a question.
But trying to put them alltogether in any manner that
would read as a story or wouldbe logical or reasonable to
another person, that sounds sodaunting.
I don't even want to.
I don't even want to start thatproject.
(30:14):
I have, I have them spread out.
I probably have four cloudaccounts and who knows how many
hard drives and who knows howmany hard drives.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
So what you are offering to those of us who are
part of this caregiving journeysounds simple and that's
inspired by my experience andspeaking to people like you, jay
is we all know that when itcomes to helping people and
caring for people, we also haveto think about our own capacity,
our own mental health, our ownbalance and, when it comes to
activities right, we alsoBalance.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
What are you talking about?
All my balance.
Speaker 1 (31:03):
Right, what balance Right?
Speaker 2 (31:07):
I like that you are helping us consider that.
Speaker 1 (31:10):
Balance.
What are you talking about,Omar?
Balance, Right, what?
Speaker 2 (31:12):
balance I like that.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
You are helping us consider that, considering it
and it's you know, I find itpretty interesting that, like,
when it comes to caring forsomeone, it's really, really
hard to step away.
Right, human-based activitiesare what they're needing and
what we're needing too, butthere are moments where we just
need to step away for a hotsecond right, and what I'm
building right now that I'veensured this is the first one,
I'm sharing it out loud is we'reactually going to allow Connect
to almost act as, like aninterviewer, so that way you hit
(31:35):
a button and then you'reallowed for Connect to just talk
to the person and ask themabout their life.
Like, the application will besmart enough to know Jay Smiles,
in the past you mentioned thatyou were in Birmingham, alabama,
jay Smiles.
It'll be very specific to theperson's life, so it almost
feels like as a person's layingdown or just closing their eyes.
(31:56):
They're almost having thisreally meaningful engagement
about the things that theyreally care about their life,
their kids, their grandkids,that their cultural insights
that they wanna pass on.
Like that to me is something I'mreally, really, really excited
about providing for thecommunity, because we all know
that people just love talking atthat point, if they can, and
sometimes these triggers right,these moments of triggers,
(32:18):
whether it's song based or namebased, these are moments that
can sometimes sometimes bringthat person back for a second or
a minute, and those are themoments that we all we cherish
and we love and we crave tohopefully happen until a certain
point that we all know youcan't Right, but while you have
them, it's something so freakingspecial to just like sit there
(32:40):
and let you watch thisengagement, and I'm really,
really excited about thisfeature for the community and
for the families in particular.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
The foresight that you've had to allow the person
suffering with the disease tohave some say-so on how he or
she is remembered.
It's so powerful Because afterthe disease is announced, so to
(33:13):
speak, more times than not therebecomes this rush to plan for
death.
Comes this rush to plan fordeath and no one is really
(33:35):
stopping to enjoy the life thatthey're still living.
You're so busy being sad andtrying to or trying to cure it.
You know it's not true.
We're gonna you're gonna justwe going to stop eating sugar
and bread.
We're going to walk 10 miles anhour and that's going to beat
it right.
So there's a level of denialthat occurs.
And then there's a lot ofsadness and almost preparing for
(34:01):
death.
But then if you're allowing theperson who is suffering to sit
in the driver's seat, so tospeak, and produce to be the
producer of this video, or thesetalks, these photographs um,
(34:21):
that's really very powerfulbecause they don't.
The individuals that I've metwith the disease.
They have something to fuckingsay.
They have something.
They still have something tosay.
Speaker 1 (34:37):
They're in there.
Speaker 2 (34:38):
Yeah, and I've watched my mom, even within the
last week or so, omar getfrustrated, and we're in year 12
.
I've watched her get frustrated, trying to get out a word, like
she'll start.
You know, she starts sayingPenny, and she's clearly not
trying to say Penny, but shejust goes Never mind and then
(35:01):
she just like, puts her headdown.
So they have something to sayand this product that you're
offering those of us who arecaring for them does make it
easier for us to help them.
Um, yeah capture their words andtheir memories.
So so, thank you.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
Thank you, thank you for having me on and letting me
share this.
But one more thing too is I'mgoing to be very vulnerable with
you, jay, and the community.
I can get very emotional here.
But part of like watchingsomeone you love slowly pass
away through time is also, toyour points earlier, watching
how the family reacts.
And also, I think the worstpart is we don't really know
(35:43):
what we're going to miss or theregrets, and not asking the
questions we want to ask untilthey pass.
Then you, you live with these,these regrets of like shit.
I should have asked thesequestions or you watch, like
your for me, in my case, Iwatched my mom and my mom was so
close to her dad, so close toto her.
She went through depressionwhen he passed.
(36:04):
It was a really, really hardexperience for the whole family
to join her in this moment.
And you know to this day, Ithink we all can agree that
psychologically all of us we canonly remember the most recent
activities of someone right, andwhen you're dealing with losing
someone you love, sometimes itgets really really hard to
(36:25):
remember the person before,right.
So now I feel like sometimes wesee our brains fighting to
remember the the person theywere before the disease took
over, and I hate talking aboutit, gets me so emotional.
But, like that is the part thatI'm really excited about is like
, yes, you, you deal with whatyou need to deal with your
family, you care for your familyand then, hopefully, at the
(36:49):
when it inevitable happens, Ihope that this application,
these memories, these storiescan then be used to be like that
was my dad, that was mygrandfather, that was my mother,
like you have these audiblemoments of where their name came
from, where they grew up.
Right, those are the thingsthat we love about our parents
and our grandparents.
Right, it's not just like apicture of their birthday.
(37:11):
No, it's a story to sit at atable at Christmas or birthday
and you just laugh about all thethings that someone did back
then.
Speaker 2 (37:19):
Yeah, feels to me like the the caregiver dementia.
Digital version of like yourancestry dna yes, because
ancestry.
Speaker 1 (37:35):
You know, those things are just dots there.
I have ancestry, I paid for allthat stuff and I'm like these
dots, who cares?
Speaker 2 (37:40):
right, right, I don't know any of those people right,
because you know, I'm sure youknow the you video your granddad
or your uncle, and they maymention a friend or a co-worker
that you can then go call andsay, hey, you know my, my
grandma, I'm so and so, and theymention you in this video thing
(38:01):
that I'm, you know, my grandma,I'm so-and-so, and they mention
you in this video thing thatI'm, you know you got any
memories of them?
This might be a person that younever even knew about, right?
So that can lead you to evenfinding more memories and
connections.
So I know that you speak highlyof using it as a way that you
(38:21):
it can advise you on whichquestions to ask and how, how to
capture these memories and thetechnology that'll make it so
much easier for us, which weneed because we are so
emotionally and psychologicallyspent.
Thank you, you, thank you,thank you, thank you, thank you.
And you're going to have someother products that are coming
(38:46):
out associated with Connect.
Tell us about that.
Speaker 1 (38:49):
Yeah, so a big, a big driver of that point in my life
.
When I realized that I went onGoogle, I was like what are the
best way to save memories?
Cause my grandfather was losinghis, but I was young.
I was like what are the bestway to save memories?
Because my grandfather waslosing his, but I was young, but
I was aware that he is the kingof the family, of having all
our Puerto Rican lineage ofhistory and I was so I knew at
that point that if once hepasses, it's gonna go with him.
(39:13):
I found this book service rightand they were like advertising
for all families of all types,all the things you're reading as
, and you're like like oh great,perfect.
And then you kind of look atthe checkout flow and you
realize like, wait a second,there's no other option besides
English.
Wait a second, it's only emailbased, so the person has to type
the whole time.
And you're kind of like at thatpoint is when I first
(39:36):
understood what is wrong withsociety.
Half the time You're sayingyou're speaking about families
and you'd be inclusive forfamilies, right?
So coming up for holiday inDecember, I'm really excited to
launch Connect's physical memorybooks where folks can upload
their content, upload theirstories.
We, of course, give you thequestions and prompts and
(39:57):
different themes, and what I'mreally excited about is that
it'll be in English and Spanishand a rolling out series of
other languages, withinternational shipping.
Like I am thinking about afamily and what that family can
mean who is a given or chosenmember of the family.
It's not just going to be onthis.
I'm sorry to the community, butit's not just for, like, white
(40:18):
people in the United States.
Like that is not just that is.
The United States is acommunity of a variety of
ethnicities, a variety oflanguages, and it's not just a
white person.
And I'm really, really excitedthat as I lay this groundwork
for this book it's anotherreflection of my stance on
diversity and inclusion is likeno two families are the same.
(40:39):
So the experience in the app,for example, should adjust to
the family, to the things welearn about the family.
And the book itself is going tobe fresh because right now, if
you look at our I won't evenname them look at our
competitors, jay, it feels likethey're for, like it just feels
really old, like you don't, youdon't want to buy it and like,
go back and read someone's storybecause it just feels like it's
(40:59):
like it doesn't feel right.
But yeah, we're going to beincluding like voice to text, so
like this, you and I can betalking, you'll be talking into
the computer and the computerwill hear and then translate
your words into text so that wayagain we can really think about
like another activity forsomeone to do if they need it.
That's something that's someaningful for us, right?
You get that book of your mom,your dad, your grandfather, and
(41:22):
it's not just your life, butmaybe it's like recipes and
holiday trips, like what afreaking special moment for
y'all to have that like physicalitem.
That's not, you know.
You can also have the app, yes,but you know, gifts are great if
you want to get gifts you wantto get the, the.
Speaker 2 (41:39):
My massive takeaway from this, omar, is you are
merging technology to allowfamilies a more holistic
(42:02):
approach of capturing, ofcreating, capturing and keeping
Whatever it is that has evermeant anything to any generation
Exactly, and that's magical,that is freaking magical, I know
(42:22):
, while I do own all the littlegadgets right, I got the, I got
the tablet and the desktop andthe cell phone and the blah and
the blue and the blah and theblue I hate typing.
I hate typing and I don't likereading, even even though I'm an
engineer and a lawyer.
(42:42):
I'm an engineer first, whichshould tell you something, but
I'm a lawyer and they're likewell, how did you bar in a lot?
I'm like listen, don't, don'tquestion that.
Yes, I pass all of that, butthat's not my preference.
So when you're asking me for mypreference.
I it is very clear that myancestors are West African
(43:02):
because I'm an orator, I'drather listen and talk my way
through whatever it is.
Look, yeah, I don't want to.
I don't want to.
I don't want to read nothingand I don't really want to write
it.
Just I'll listen and look for10 years Versus write something
or read something for one hour.
Speaker 1 (43:26):
I got something I didn't mention in that book that
I think might make you jaw dropa bit.
If the person wants to add a QRcode to the book on specific
pages, they can, and the QR codecan allow the person to submit
an audio or a video to supportwhatever image, whatever story
is on that page.
(43:47):
Because what you just said Ilove I mean being Puerto Rican
means you sit down and youlisten to stories and you talk
back really fast, Right?
That is something I find ismissing from a lot of these
spaces and why I built connectthe video, audio and text as
options is like there's nothingmore powerful than hearing or
watching someone's facialexpressions as they tell a story
(44:09):
, Like when my grandma tells astory she's excited about.
I don't really care what thestory is, I love watching
people's face change.
That is the best thing rightnow with you, Right, Like that's
my favorite thing about talkingto someone is seeing how their
hands move their you, right,like that's.
Speaker 2 (44:32):
My favorite thing about talking to someone is
seeing how their hands move.
Their facial moves right, right, right, 100, 100.
Omar, this has been truly,truly magnificent.
I cannot give you enoughgratitude and give you your
flowers for starting in highschool to care enough about
giving more than you receivedand then to say you know what I
want to help others.
This is happening to my familyI bet other people are
(44:54):
experiencing it.
And for you to come up with aproduct and then say I am going
to make this product availableto the masses, even after your
grandfather was no longerphysically available, that makes
it so apparent that it wasn'tabout serving yourself, and I
firmly believe there are more ofus in the world who are looking
(45:18):
to serve the globe and not totake first, and I wish you
tremendous success.
I can't wait for all of thesecondary and tertiary products
to come out of connect.
Let everyone know where and howto find connect.
Please spell it.
Speaker 1 (45:40):
Yeah, so the website is fine.
It's k-i-n-n-e-c-t dot clubc-l-u-b.
You know what I want to makesure that the caregiving
community understands that theyhave ideas or they want to share
feedback.
Email me, omar at k-i-n-n-e-C-Tdot club, omar at connect dot
(46:03):
club.
That is my direct line.
If I can find ways to usetechnology to serve a family and
serve what the community needs,that is like what you just said
.
That is my purpose in buildingthis company.
It is not to become acapitalistic person.
Speaker 2 (46:18):
It is to be focused on giving and about 17 minutes
ago you all heard it too it wasannounced blah, blah, blah,
something and my husband, sohe's no longer available.
I know, I said earlier, youknow if you end up marrying him
or getting a date or something,but I hope that stays in there,
(46:42):
because that made me die.
Speaker 1 (46:44):
Let it happen, let it stay.
Speaker 2 (46:46):
I'm just saying I don't want anyone putting in the
email something about somethingyou know.
Keep it, listen, keep it classy.
I don't need, you know, wedon't need any lawsuits.
Speaker 1 (46:58):
Omar has a husband but we all, we love.
We love the attention.
Share it over this is fantastic.
Speaker 2 (47:08):
You are welcome anytime, honey.
When the next products come out, please um come back.
We look forward to it.
Um best, best, best to yourfamily and to all of your next
pursuits.
Speaker 1 (47:22):
Hey, you too, jay.
Thank you to the communityAgain.
I'm here.
Share anything you need.
Speaker 2 (47:27):
Thank you for having me on the show.
Chase Miles, Absolutely, You'rewelcome.
The Snuggle Up Number one Lookfor outlets to give.
I am mesmerized by how Omaralways found a way to give to
(47:49):
other people as a youngster, inhigh school, through his 20s and
now in his 30s.
Not only did he care for hisgrandfather with Alzheimer's,
but he figured out how tocontinue giving in the community
to strangers.
You really do feel better whenyou give to other people, Even
(48:12):
if you don't want to give tostrangers.
Maybe you want to give tosomeone in your church community
, your neighborhood, somebodyelse in your family.
They might not even really besafe.
I know, I know.
I know.
I hear you right now honkingyour horn Horn what is that what
the hell is, a?
horn, honking your horn?
(48:33):
Maybe you're in the shower.
J Smiles.
When the hell do I have time togive anymore?
I'm a caregiver.
Have time to give anymore?
I'm a caregiver.
Maybe you just take fiveminutes to read a story to a
cousin or a family member whohas kids?
Trust me, when you give toother people, you just feel
(48:55):
better.
Number two honor your culture,your hometown, what you stand
for.
Could you hear the vibrance inOmar's voice when he talked
about Puerto Rico, the Latinoculture, spanish food, the way
(49:20):
they tell stories, spanish foodthe way they tell stories.
How much energy in the facialexpressions.
The hands hey, it doesn'tmatter if you know how to cook.
It doesn't matter if you playcharades Okay, I'm a big
charades player or if you likeacting.
(49:41):
You don't have to know anythingabout technology or how to
design an app, but bring yourfull self to caregiving.
Make sure that the whole worldis making space for you and your
family.
(50:04):
Don't just accept what thefacility where your loved one is
says.
If they say, hey, everyThursday is chicken pot pie, but
you know, your loved onefreaking hates chicken pot pie
or, for some reason, chicken potpie has never been a part of
your culture and you really likeI don't know hamburgers, tacos,
barbecue ribs or, uh, spinachbe, uh.
(50:32):
Anyway, I is this.
What is the dish?
I'm drawing a total blank.
Um, okay, let's just saybaklava.
You love baklava.
Ask them, ask the people at thefacility hey, can y'all start
having baklava.
Just because it's not on theredoesn't mean they won't enjoy it
.
And that all the other peopleliving there, all the other,
(50:57):
what do you call those peopleResidents?
It's so hard for me to think ofthem as residents because they
didn't choose to live there.
But don't, don't, that's justmy brain.
I had a difficult day.
As you are going on thisjourney of caregiving, you're
(51:22):
not only a voice for advocatingfor your LO to have the best
medical care, but you're caringfor their soul and their mind,
and this is an opportunity foryou to make the world a better
place.
Number three right now, thinkof a very happy memory that you
(51:45):
personally have.
I mean, it's just yours, youand your LO from before the
disease took over, and I don'tmean from before the disease got
bad and they had to move inwith you, or they had to move in
with big mama or sister, cousinor the lady next door or a
(52:06):
facility, I mean maybe 30 yearsago, or if your LO is no longer
alive.
What's just a good memory?
Summertime, winter time allowyourself to think of something
(52:26):
magical where, with nothing butsmiles and laughs, you deserve
it.
I decided to quit everything and my husband
supported all this and you knowworking on figuring out what is
like the easiest way for us tosave our memories in these
spaces.
So I built Connect and foranyone who's curious on how it
works is I know, and you knowthis, that it's just really
really hard to organize memoriesand stories and also think
(00:20):
about making it accessible toall folks, of all types, of all
ages.
Think about making itaccessible to all folks of all
types of all ages.
And if we think about theFacebooks or the Instagrams or
things that we kind of all hatebecause they're actually not
true storytelling places andthey also connect sorry, they
also create more disconnectionthan connection.
I decided to take what I hateabout these environments, what I
hate about memory preservationtoday, and build connect.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Parenting up caregiving adventures with
comedian Jay Smiles is theintense journey of unexpectedly
being fully responsible for mymama.
For over a decade I've beenchipping away at the unknown,
advocating for her and pushingAlzheimer's awareness on anyone
and anything with a heartbeatSpoiler alert.
(01:03):
This shit is heavy.
That's why I started doingcomedy.
Alzheimer's awareness on anyoneand anything with a heartbeat
Spoiler alert this shit is heavy.
That's why I started doingcomedy.
So be ready for the jokes.
Caregiver newbies, ogs andvillage members just willing to
prop up a caregiver.
You are in the right place.
Hi, this is Zeddy.
(01:25):
I hope you enjoy my daughter'spodcast.
Is that okay?
Today's supporter shout outcomes from Apple Podcast.
Here is she.
Love this episode.
(01:48):
Loved hearing the serious yetcomedic approach with both J
Smiles and Kelly Kells.
Kelly Kells hashtag the GrandmaWhisperer.
They brought to theconversation of caregiving
generationally, especially aboutour mothers, grands and
(02:09):
great-grands.
I relate to being connected Ourmother and elders and providing
care in a beautifullyempathetic way.
Thank you, harry Shee.
If you want to be a supportershout out recipient, please
leave a review on Apple podcast,youtube or Instagram.
(02:35):
Thank you.
Today's episode creating,capturing and keeping memories
with Alzheimer's.
Hey, what's up?
Parented Up family.
Guess what have you ever wanted?
To connect with othercaregivers?
You want to see morebehind-the-scenes footage?
(02:56):
Want to know what me and Zeddyare doing?
I know you do All things.
Jsmiles are finally ready foryou, even when I go live.
Do it now with us on Patreon.
Join us in the Patreoncommunity.
(03:16):
Catch everything we're doing.
Visit patreoncom forward.
Slash JSmilesStudios with an SParenting Up community.
You know, I like to have alittle sizzle, a little pop.
We laugh along the way, welearn something and we meet new
(03:40):
friends.
Today we're going to smash allthat up together.
We have Omar Alvarez and whilehe has done a whole bunch of
really cool things in life andhe's not even that old and he's
gorgeous but listen, we're noton here.
Okay, trying to get married andget dates.
But now, if you end up gettingmarried to him and get a date,
(04:02):
just listen, dm me.
I do want a percentage.
I expect to be there and I likeoysters that's my favorite meal
.
But before we get into all ofthat, okay, we are here talking
about caregiving loved ones, howwe manage taking care of the
people we love when dementiapops them in the face.
(04:24):
And Omar has a way to getaround all that stuff.
What's good, omar, how youdoing honey.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Yo Jay, all good here .
It's great to see you again.
Thank you for having me on theshow and hello to the community,
nice to meet y'all.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
Yes, yes, yes.
And for those of you who may beaudio, only know that you can
always pop on over to YouTubeand see us, but if it's audio,
only just know.
Listen to the warmth in hisvoice and know that everything
really is born of love.
So, quick backdrop Let theparenting up community know,
(05:11):
know, how did you get intocaregiving you?
Because you're not tell.
Okay, let's do it like thisgive us a sprinkling of how old
you're not.
I don't know if you want togive up, give away your age, but
at least say hey, I'm not 50,I'm under what age?
Who is it that you are soconnected to that?
You said I've got to be anactive member of this community.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Absolutely, jed.
So you know, like all of us, weall have our experience of like
dementia in this community andsupporting the people we love.
And for me, this actuallystarted when I was younger, in
high school.
I'm 33.
So I'm getting in the middleage lane right now.
I just turned 33.
I wouldn't say I'm a proud 33year old, but I'm just glad to
(05:53):
be alive.
But yeah, when it comes to thespace and this support and care
system, I'm sorry, hold on.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
Did you say I'm getting to middle age, listen
here.
Hold on.
Did you say I'm getting tomiddle age, listen here, honey
you are so far from middle ageyou don't even have a wrinkle.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Anyway, continue, they're so funny.
For me, when it comes to thedementia and caregiving space, I
had a very direct role intoseeing my grandfather have a
have a dementia for 10 yearsbefore his passing and then,
separately from that, I was alsovolunteering in high school at
an independent senior livingspace while I was in high school
.
So, when it comes to theenvironments and understanding
(06:38):
and learning, my passion forgiving, my passion for listening
, my passion for understandingwhat is memory, recall, memory
activation all that started inhigh school from personal
experience with seeing mygrandfather go through it.
But, as we all know, it's notjust him that has to navigate
that experience.
It's our whole family thatnavigates that journey with him.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Yes, okay.
Volunteering at a senior centerin high school yeah, what rock
did you grow up under?
Like what?
Who the hell does that, omarWell?
Speaker 1 (07:13):
I was.
You know I have the really,really fun experience in high
school where people tend to talkabout how they would go back to
college and you know that waslike their formative fun years.
But I had an amazing communityin high school where our high
school really encouraged us tovolunteer and less than a mile
away from our high school was ahuge independent senior living
(07:35):
space.
So we used to frequent itduring the holidays, frequent it
throughout the year to check inon the seniors there and spend
time being present present andlistening, present and asking
about their lives.
And when you're at that age youare right in hindsight go me,
go little Omar, like what a coolguy.
But in hindsight that really isan actual view of my passion
(07:58):
for storytelling.
You know, as we all know, whenyou're in those spaces you tend
to remember your life and thinkabout what is remnant therapy,
where I start to understandthose topics.
Yeah, I was very lucky to havethat space so close to home so I
can actually learn from thosethat were before me and
understand what the healthcaresystem needs for our aging
(08:19):
population.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Where did you grow up ?
Where was this high school?
Speaker 1 (08:22):
Where did you grow up ?
Where was this high school?
Yeah, I grew up in FranklinPark, illinois.
It's about 25 minutes away fromO'Hare in Illinois, but I did
grow up in Chicago proper priorto moving there, got it.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
I know I've always enjoyed listening to old people.
I got to tell you I really likekids and I like old people.
I happen to be living in themiddle of that.
I don't really like people myown age nearly as much but kids
and old people, oh my God.
The stories.
Right, kids are normally usingtheir imagination to just make
(08:59):
up a story, but I can listen tothem.
You could call it a lie or youcould call it fantasy.
I choose to call it fantasy.
And the elderly?
They're telling you stories ofyesteryear and because you
didn't live any of it and youdidn't see it and it sounds like
a fantasy.
It's like what?
You didn't have a car, youdidn't have lights or it was
(09:24):
illegal for a woman to own ahouse.
Whatever the story may be, itsounds like another world.
I can imagine that you havingthat experience in high school
prior to knowing this would beyour line of work, actually
informs a lot of what you do.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Absolutely.
I had no idea, but I didn'tknow at that time that it would
be helping me.
You're right.
I think the most beautifulthing about stories is the power
that they have and the power ofthe folks that lived in that
right.
There's something reallyspecial about my grandmother,
who is in rural Puerto Rico.
She's alive today, thank God.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Yay, you know what An alive grandmother is an angel
on earth.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
Absolutely, and like getting to see her and the way
she still lives in that samehome that she raised my mom and
her siblings in, and the way shejust thinks about life, and
it's such a beautiful way to seesomeone who was just to be
direct, not ruined by socialmedia, not ruined by poor
communication standards.
You actually have someone thatvalues like direct conversation
(10:35):
and is always, always positive,and I think it's because she's
done a great job of like stayingin the space that she feels the
most comfortable in.
She has not been jaded by allthe news and the media and the
constant pings back and forth,you know, and it so keeps her
pure.
She's truly an angel on earth,as you said.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Yeah, I love that.
So now your caregiving.
I'm sure there was some periodof time between high school and
becoming so involved with yourgrandfather's care.
What were you doingprofessionally or socially
during that space?
Speaker 1 (11:13):
Yeah, yeah.
Well, it kind of combines a bitmore into what's happened later
, which is now that I'm able toconnect with so many caregivers.
About that experience and alsounderstanding the needs of the
caregiving community today, Ithink what's quite important
about my experience involunteering in these
independent living spaces wasdirectly seeing why those
(11:34):
administrative officers andfolks were so excited about the
volunteers At that point.
I didn't fully understand atthat age, but now I do.
It's because they're so burntout, right.
These administrators, thesecaregivers, are exhausted for
many various reasons.
And then, similarly, when Iwould go to Puerto Rico earlier
in that journey, same thingunderstanding, like who is
(11:54):
helping who, watching the familymembers come in and out from
all parts of the United Statesto go support my grandfather in
Puerto Rico, and alsounderstanding what the
relationship dynamics of thesecaregivers are to our family.
You know, I don't think anyonein my family understood that
this caregiver coming into thespace to help my grandfather was
not just providing care for him.
This person became part of thefamily.
(12:16):
They were giving us updatesevery single day.
They were telling us theirneeds, what they need, support
in how exhausted they were.
And now, as an older adult andas I think about supporting
these spaces and helping people.
I think about that right awayto heart is these folks are
exhausted and these folks arenot supported.
The government has failed insupporting this space.
(12:37):
It's becoming a biggerconversation because of it.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
Yes, very much, very much.
Now I'm not going to let all ofthe juicy bits and pieces out
just yet, but hey, parenting UpCommunity, he has created and
built an amazing product andthere are multiple products that
(13:00):
are coming out.
I'm going to let him tell us alittle bit more about that, but
give us a tad bit of thatfantastic background that has
kind of led you into you knowwhat.
I want to back up a second,because we are a family
caregiving community.
Your grandfather, what?
(13:22):
Let your family know?
Hey, he's not quite himself.
Yes, he's aging.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
But this is not normal senility.
He's not just rambling on aboutthe news.
You know, we think he needsmedical intervention are you?
Speaker 1 (13:47):
aware of, kind of maybe, what some of those signs
were, that let the family knowwe got to do something
absolutely a combination from aaudible uh decline.
We start to hear like a changein the way that he was speaking.
That was a pretty big earlier.
That's a pretty big sign earlyon in the process.
It's like, hey, Papa, what'swhat we call them?
Papa is starting to talk alittle bit differently.
(14:09):
And then you kind of go intothe other things that are
cognitive, right.
So his shaking- of hands.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
One second, Omar, just because there are a lot of
people who they're at the verybeginning and they're trying to
determine who in our communityif there's a problem.
So when you say he was startingto speak differently, are you
talking about the pace of hislanguage or he was using
different words?
Can you give a little moredetail?
Speaker 1 (14:37):
Absolutely.
We start to see a change in theway he would respond.
First off, we start to see likea pace difference he would
respond.
First off, we started to seelike a pace difference.
So as we're currently talking,we can kind of see like a back
and forth interaction, almostfeel free and almost immediate.
We started to see like a delayin some of the responses that he
was giving.
So that was one thing, and then, separately, with that great,
(14:57):
great follow up, there is alsothe way he was saying his words,
at least for us in the in thePuertoerto rican dialogue, the
spanish community, we do talk alittle bit different.
We talk a little bit fast.
There is a little bit of a aspiciness of the way we talk, if
you will, and I love it.
Yeah, I love it completely, allthe time and that's the thing is
(15:18):
, it's hard to also hear thatthe way that his enunciation in
certain characters and words wasalso changing.
And I think, with Puerto Ricanculture like this just being
such a dynamic back and forthexchange of words at a speed
that's often sometimes hard tounderstand, even before his
diagnosis continues, prognosis,right, that it was very clear
(15:41):
for us that something wasn'tadding up.
And then to the next part.
You know that's was very clearfor us that something wasn't
adding up.
And then you to to the nextpart.
You know that's one of thesigns.
A separate one is watching hishis, the way he was writing, the
way he was like unable to likehold the pen in a certain
capacity, be shaking his handwhile he's writing something,
and also like a delay in the wayhe wanted to write a phrase.
(16:02):
You know, I think that's thoseare the things that we were able
to see is like huh, audibly,something's not adding up
anymore.
And then, separately, when he'strying to write something, you
can tell that there's almostlike this frustration because it
was early, right, he had earlyonset.
So we can tell that he was likegetting frustrated with himself
and at first we did think itwas related to like an aging
(16:23):
decline, but no, like it waslike he was just fighting his
brain basically to like writethese existing patterns,
existing words, phrases he had,and it was just getting harder
for him.
Yeah that had to be tough thathad to be tough yeah, uh, he was
, uh, when the when the familyto, and the thing was with the
(16:47):
Puerto Rican Latino culture as awhole.
There is studies that are donethat show that oftentimes the
healthcare systems and therelationship to doctors and the
healthcare spaces sometimes wekind of push it away.
It's almost like the very lastresort.
You know where I feel, like inother cultures if you're just
sick you go straight to thedoctor.
(17:08):
But my grandfather washardheaded, he did not want to
entertain the spaces, but mygrandmother and my family really
pushed him to go and thenthat's when this test started
happening and unfortunately, webelieve there is multiple
triggers of stress levels.
That happened in our personalfamily.
(17:28):
That, unfortunately, we believeare the reasons why his
dementia started earlier.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
Okay.
Was he living in Puerto Ricowhen the diagnosis occurred?
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Yes, and that's.
He was living in Puerto Ricoand as much as I love my island,
I love the culture, my people,everything around it, in
comparison to, let's say, someplaces that we both know, like
in Chicago or Texas Right, it isa different quality of care, so
it did become a bigger topic inthe family.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
My mother, zeddy, was in Montgomery, alabama, when
everything started to unraveland while it is the capital of
(18:20):
the state, the state has neverbeen at the forefront of
technology.
It's at the forefront of racism, but that is not what you want
when it's time to have your LOtreated.
So I found that it wasnecessary to take her to Los
(18:41):
Angeles when it was time to havesome significant testing run
and then ultimately move her toAtlanta when we wanted
maintenance and management ofher care.
So it was.
I do understand what you'resaying, because it there's no
(19:01):
particular area or part of theUS where you could even say, oh
yeah, we just let's just get toa certain there's no even
certain state like their cities.
They're literally just.
There are certain cities whereyou can say, ok, if I can get
within this training or researchfacility, I should be OK.
Now with your grandfather, whatwas he diagnosed with?
(19:27):
Alzheimer's.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
Yeah, early on to dementia, and then the doctor
was basically saying that thesigns relating to Alzheimer's
yeah, another something that youasked earlier, jay, which I
actually learned recently intalking to neuroscientists and
just in watching different kindsof media formats too, is an
easy not an easy wrong wording,pardon, but another way of
(19:49):
almost thinking about.
Like, if you're wondering ifsomething's happening from a
cognitive ability to someone youlove, there is a simple thing
you can almost try, which is youask a person to grab a piece of
paper and then you ask them todraw the time, the clock, and
then say, hey, can you draw 7 14pm?
Hey, can you draw 3 12 am?
(20:11):
Like you know, just go aheadand, like, allow the person to
really think about, like, huh,this is something I've seen my
entire life a clock, can I goahead and use the small and big
hand to get to the time that theperson's asking me?
That was something I wish weknew earlier, because I feel
like that would have allowed usto almost, like, really think
about what are the, the earliersigns that we can measure in
(20:34):
that capacity.
The technology today, as youknow, has changed, where now you
can use your phone tounderstand and measure if people
are responding in a particularway on your phone or tapping
things differently.
Those can almost be queued upto measure if someone might be
showing signs of early dementia.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
I love that.
I love that.
You're right.
There are a lot of apps andthings of that nature.
But a sheet of paper, a pen ora pencil and doing the analog
clock just old school, draw acircle.
A pen or a pencil and doing theanalog clock just old school,
draw a circle.
That's right.
I recall.
You know I never thank you forthat.
I never thought about usingthat as a tool for a marker,
(21:17):
just to see as a baseline.
I remember them asking that ofmy mom and I was heartbroken of
the way her clock looked.
It was, um, I'm gonna say itwas a free form, oval and it had
some numbers down in the four,five, six area and it wasn't
(21:43):
four, five and six, that wasjust the area that they were in.
And then the hands, the long andthe short hands, did not make
it inside of the circle at all,they were just somewhere else
floating on the page and Iremember just collecting myself
and you know, walk into anotherpart of the room and thinking,
(22:05):
just collecting myself and youknow, walk into another part of
the room and thinking this is,this is bad.
I don't know what just happened, but I don't like it.
Yeah, so that is something.
Parenting Up Community Omarjust gave us all a very, very
non-scientific but extremelyexecutable method of testing if
(22:29):
something is not connecting.
Another thing that they told mewas asking your LO to read out
loud.
Now obviously I think you wouldneed to be someone who you know,
because you would know whattheir reading level is.
You know, some individuals mayhave have a PhD, others may have
(22:51):
finished the eighth grade.
So you need to be someone youare familiar with so you can say
OK, this is a book or anewspaper or a magazine, that
reading this should not havebeen a problem.
And if they cannot look at itshould not have been a problem.
And if they cannot look at it,there's something that happens
with the brain looking at thepage and connecting with the
(23:13):
words and saying it out loud.
That is very different thanwriting or watching television.
So that's two simple things.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
So okay, point jay, if you have the opportunity and
you're nervous about the lovedone, right, yeah, audible, and
then something written for themare two very easy, affordable
things that we can all do, thatdon't cost money and like you're
right, and that clinicaloutcomes.
But we all know, if we lovesomeone, you really know them.
(23:45):
You can tell right away ifthey're reading and there's a
sound rate or if they can't drawa clock in the time you're
asking them to do it.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
Exactly, and you know it also should be an exercise
that allows other family membersto maybe get on board, because
I often, you know, there's kindof one person who's kind of
pushing to say, hey, you know,mom, dad, sister, cousin, this
(24:13):
is not quite, they're not kindof doing right.
Like you know, Auntie Teresa isnot quite right and everybody's
like, well, what do you mean?
You know she's under a lot ofstress or she's doing too much,
she's working too hard, or youknow someone just passed away
and she's sad.
But if you had this example totell other family members,
(24:36):
that's kind of hard for them toignore, and so then maybe you're
not fighting on your own likeclimbing up a brick wall or like
an example I like to use is,you're not a fish climbing a
tree.
You have something on your sideto help you out.
So hopefully that will be ableto help some people in the
(24:57):
community.
All right, so let's talk aboutthis fun stuff, this fun stuff
that you have created to helpfamily members and caregivers
smile through the hard times.
The umbrella product is calledConnect.
(25:18):
Tell us about it, Omar.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
Yeah, absolutely.
When someone is showing signsof dementia early and they're
able to have the understandingand awareness that they're
losing their memories, andseparately as a family, if
you're able to understand thatthat person you love so much is
also losing the not just yourmemories, right, they're losing
historical knowledge, they'relosing cultural insight.
(25:44):
They have all this insight thatthe family has yet to ask or
yet to know about, because we'reall busy and sometimes you
don't really know what to say orwhat questions to ask in these
capacities.
That's when my passion forstorytelling outside of
volunteering in an independentsenior living space, but really
thinking about specifically whatare the stories that we want to
(26:07):
capture and why is it so hardto actually find a product that
makes it easy for our familiesand friends to connect in these
private spaces so thatvulnerability happens?
So I uh, quite everything I wasworking on um about almost
almost two years ago actuallyhad to share this with you, jay.
I don't know if you know thispart, but my grandfather is half
(26:29):
the reason in Building Connectand I want to share this with
the caregiving community.
One of my friends that was myage, 31, 32 years old was
diagnosed with cancer andhalfway through his two and a
half year battle, it was obviousthat it was terminal.
So you have someone that's myage, that's married, also
(26:51):
seeking a space to save hismemories and his connect with
his friends and family that arearound the country, or even that
the fact that he has a wifelike he, he wanted to save these
memories for her, messages forher, you know, like a heads up
for a birthday or something likethat.
(27:12):
I decided to quit everythingand my husband supported all
this and you know working onfiguring out what is like, know,
and you know this, that it'sjust really really hard to
organize memories and storiesand also think about making it
accessible to all folks, of alltypes, of all ages.
(27:34):
And if we think about theFacebooks or the Instagrams or
things that we kind of all hatebecause they're actually not
true storytelling places, andthey also connect sorry, they
also create more disconnectionthan connection.
I decided to take what I hateabout these environments, what I
hate about memory preservationtoday, and build connect.
So now anyone can join, connectand we've created these
(27:55):
storybooks.
These storybooks are books likemy partner remembering them my
20s, millennial life, right,these really fun sections of
life that someone can decide toselect, and every single book
has five chapters.
When you open up a chapter, wealready give you questions for
you to answer in audio videotext and even upload pictures
(28:17):
into it.
What's really really reallyspecial?
Um, and some.
As we all know what thecommunity is, storytelling is
really powerful.
It has effects of reminiscencetherapy to allow the person to
remember their lived in.
And so, as we all know what thecommunity is, storytelling is
really powerful.
It has effects of reminiscencetherapy to allow the person to
remember their lived experienceand what they've done.
But yeah, we then kind of allowthe person to share these
memories into a feed for thosepeople they've invited to see.
(28:39):
What's pretty special is youcan continually add people over
time as your family expands andit just it's kind of like the
Netflix of your family memoriesand stories, because you can
continually add people over timeas your family expands and it
just it's kind of like theNetflix of your family memories
and stories Cause you can goback.
I can watch Jay smiles and kindof see like her talking about
all these elements of her lifein five years, 10 years, 20
years.
You just never know when you'regoing to want to go back and
(29:00):
listen to these people that haveaffected our timelines and our
lives forever.
Speaker 2 (29:05):
Wow, let me tell you how many unorganized videos I
have of very significant moments, of of me capturing a thought
(29:29):
directly, or I'm capturingothers.
It may be the environment.
I could just be walkingsomewhere.
Maybe I'm walking throughEurope, maybe I'm walking
through Cape Town, maybe I'mwalking through Cape Town, or I
(29:52):
am talking to my mom from a timewhen she could actually answer
a question.
But trying to put them alltogether in any manner that
would read as a story or wouldbe logical or reasonable to
another person, that sounds sodaunting.
I don't even want to.
I don't even want to start thatproject.
(30:14):
I have, I have them spread out.
I probably have four cloudaccounts and who knows how many
hard drives and who knows howmany hard drives.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
So what you are offering to those of us who are
part of this caregiving journeysounds simple and that's
inspired by my experience andspeaking to people like you, jay
is we all know that when itcomes to helping people and
caring for people, we also haveto think about our own capacity,
our own mental health, our ownbalance and, when it comes to
activities right, we alsoBalance.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
What are you talking about?
All my balance.
Speaker 1 (31:03):
Right, what balance Right?
Speaker 2 (31:07):
I like that you are helping us consider that.
Speaker 1 (31:10):
Balance.
What are you talking about,Omar?
Balance, Right, what?
Speaker 2 (31:12):
balance I like that.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
You are helping us consider that, considering it
and it's you know, I find itpretty interesting that, like,
when it comes to caring forsomeone, it's really, really
hard to step away.
Right, human-based activitiesare what they're needing and
what we're needing too, butthere are moments where we just
need to step away for a hotsecond right, and what I'm
building right now that I'veensured this is the first one,
I'm sharing it out loud is we'reactually going to allow Connect
to almost act as, like aninterviewer, so that way you hit
(31:35):
a button and then you'reallowed for Connect to just talk
to the person and ask themabout their life.
Like, the application will besmart enough to know Jay Smiles,
in the past you mentioned thatyou were in Birmingham, alabama,
jay Smiles.
It'll be very specific to theperson's life, so it almost
feels like as a person's layingdown or just closing their eyes.
(31:56):
They're almost having thisreally meaningful engagement
about the things that theyreally care about their life,
their kids, their grandkids,that their cultural insights
that they wanna pass on.
Like that to me is something I'mreally, really, really excited
about providing for thecommunity, because we all know
that people just love talking atthat point, if they can, and
sometimes these triggers right,these moments of triggers,
(32:18):
whether it's song based or namebased, these are moments that
can sometimes sometimes bringthat person back for a second or
a minute, and those are themoments that we all we cherish
and we love and we crave tohopefully happen until a certain
point that we all know youcan't Right, but while you have
them, it's something so freakingspecial to just like sit there
(32:40):
and let you watch thisengagement, and I'm really,
really excited about thisfeature for the community and
for the families in particular.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
The foresight that you've had to allow the person
suffering with the disease tohave some say-so on how he or
she is remembered.
It's so powerful Because afterthe disease is announced, so to
(33:13):
speak, more times than not therebecomes this rush to plan for
death.
Comes this rush to plan fordeath and no one is really
(33:35):
stopping to enjoy the life thatthey're still living.
You're so busy being sad andtrying to or trying to cure it.
You know it's not true.
We're gonna you're gonna justwe going to stop eating sugar
and bread.
We're going to walk 10 miles anhour and that's going to beat
it right.
So there's a level of denialthat occurs.
And then there's a lot ofsadness and almost preparing for
(34:01):
death.
But then if you're allowing theperson who is suffering to sit
in the driver's seat, so tospeak, and produce to be the
producer of this video, or thesetalks, these photographs um,
(34:21):
that's really very powerfulbecause they don't.
The individuals that I've metwith the disease.
They have something to fuckingsay.
They have something.
They still have something tosay.
Speaker 1 (34:37):
They're in there.
Speaker 2 (34:38):
Yeah, and I've watched my mom, even within the
last week or so, omar getfrustrated, and we're in year 12
.
I've watched her get frustrated, trying to get out a word, like
she'll start.
You know, she starts sayingPenny, and she's clearly not
trying to say Penny, but shejust goes Never mind and then
(35:01):
she just like, puts her headdown.
So they have something to sayand this product that you're
offering those of us who arecaring for them does make it
easier for us to help them.
Um, yeah capture their words andtheir memories.
So so, thank you.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
Thank you, thank you for having me on and letting me
share this.
But one more thing too is I'mgoing to be very vulnerable with
you, jay, and the community.
I can get very emotional here.
But part of like watchingsomeone you love slowly pass
away through time is also, toyour points earlier, watching
how the family reacts.
And also, I think the worstpart is we don't really know
(35:43):
what we're going to miss or theregrets, and not asking the
questions we want to ask untilthey pass.
Then you, you live with these,these regrets of like shit.
I should have asked thesequestions or you watch, like
your for me, in my case, Iwatched my mom and my mom was so
close to her dad, so close toto her.
She went through depressionwhen he passed.
(36:04):
It was a really, really hardexperience for the whole family
to join her in this moment.
And you know to this day, Ithink we all can agree that
psychologically all of us we canonly remember the most recent
activities of someone right, andwhen you're dealing with losing
someone you love, sometimes itgets really really hard to
(36:25):
remember the person before,right.
So now I feel like sometimes wesee our brains fighting to
remember the the person theywere before the disease took
over, and I hate talking aboutit, gets me so emotional.
But, like that is the part thatI'm really excited about is like
, yes, you, you deal with whatyou need to deal with your
family, you care for your familyand then, hopefully, at the
(36:49):
when it inevitable happens, Ihope that this application,
these memories, these storiescan then be used to be like that
was my dad, that was mygrandfather, that was my mother,
like you have these audiblemoments of where their name came
from, where they grew up.
Right, those are the thingsthat we love about our parents
and our grandparents.
Right, it's not just like apicture of their birthday.
(37:11):
No, it's a story to sit at atable at Christmas or birthday
and you just laugh about all thethings that someone did back
then.
Speaker 2 (37:19):
Yeah, feels to me like the the caregiver dementia.
Digital version of like yourancestry dna yes, because
ancestry.
Speaker 1 (37:35):
You know, those things are just dots there.
I have ancestry, I paid for allthat stuff and I'm like these
dots, who cares?
Speaker 2 (37:40):
right, right, I don't know any of those people right,
because you know, I'm sure youknow the you video your granddad
or your uncle, and they maymention a friend or a co-worker
that you can then go call andsay, hey, you know my, my
grandma, I'm so and so, and theymention you in this video thing
(38:01):
that I'm, you know, my grandma,I'm so-and-so, and they mention
you in this video thing thatI'm, you know you got any
memories of them?
This might be a person that younever even knew about, right?
So that can lead you to evenfinding more memories and
connections.
So I know that you speak highlyof using it as a way that you
(38:21):
it can advise you on whichquestions to ask and how, how to
capture these memories and thetechnology that'll make it so
much easier for us, which weneed because we are so
emotionally and psychologicallyspent.
Thank you, you, thank you,thank you, thank you, thank you.
And you're going to have someother products that are coming
(38:46):
out associated with Connect.
Tell us about that.
Speaker 1 (38:49):
Yeah, so a big, a big driver of that point in my life
.
When I realized that I went onGoogle, I was like what are the
best way to save memories?
Cause my grandfather was losinghis, but I was young.
I was like what are the bestway to save memories?
Because my grandfather waslosing his, but I was young, but
I was aware that he is the kingof the family, of having all
our Puerto Rican lineage ofhistory and I was so I knew at
that point that if once hepasses, it's gonna go with him.
(39:13):
I found this book service rightand they were like advertising
for all families of all types,all the things you're reading as
, and you're like like oh great,perfect.
And then you kind of look atthe checkout flow and you
realize like, wait a second,there's no other option besides
English.
Wait a second, it's only emailbased, so the person has to type
the whole time.
And you're kind of like at thatpoint is when I first
(39:36):
understood what is wrong withsociety.
Half the time You're sayingyou're speaking about families
and you'd be inclusive forfamilies, right?
So coming up for holiday inDecember, I'm really excited to
launch Connect's physical memorybooks where folks can upload
their content, upload theirstories.
We, of course, give you thequestions and prompts and
(39:57):
different themes, and what I'mreally excited about is that
it'll be in English and Spanishand a rolling out series of
other languages, withinternational shipping.
Like I am thinking about afamily and what that family can
mean who is a given or chosenmember of the family.
It's not just going to be onthis.
I'm sorry to the community, butit's not just for, like, white
(40:18):
people in the United States.
Like that is not just that is.
The United States is acommunity of a variety of
ethnicities, a variety oflanguages, and it's not just a
white person.
And I'm really, really excitedthat as I lay this groundwork
for this book it's anotherreflection of my stance on
diversity and inclusion is likeno two families are the same.
(40:39):
So the experience in the app,for example, should adjust to
the family, to the things welearn about the family.
And the book itself is going tobe fresh because right now, if
you look at our I won't evenname them look at our
competitors, jay, it feels likethey're for, like it just feels
really old, like you don't, youdon't want to buy it and like,
go back and read someone's storybecause it just feels like it's
(40:59):
like it doesn't feel right.
But yeah, we're going to beincluding like voice to text, so
like this, you and I can betalking, you'll be talking into
the computer and the computerwill hear and then translate
your words into text so that wayagain we can really think about
like another activity forsomeone to do if they need it.
That's something that's someaningful for us, right?
You get that book of your mom,your dad, your grandfather, and
(41:22):
it's not just your life, butmaybe it's like recipes and
holiday trips, like what afreaking special moment for
y'all to have that like physicalitem.
That's not, you know.
You can also have the app, yes,but you know, gifts are great if
you want to get gifts you wantto get the, the.
Speaker 2 (41:39):
My massive takeaway from this, omar, is you are
merging technology to allowfamilies a more holistic
(42:02):
approach of capturing, ofcreating, capturing and keeping
Whatever it is that has evermeant anything to any generation
Exactly, and that's magical,that is freaking magical, I know
(42:22):
, while I do own all the littlegadgets right, I got the, I got
the tablet and the desktop andthe cell phone and the blah and
the blue and the blah and theblue I hate typing.
I hate typing and I don't likereading, even even though I'm an
engineer and a lawyer.
(42:42):
I'm an engineer first, whichshould tell you something, but
I'm a lawyer and they're likewell, how did you bar in a lot?
I'm like listen, don't, don'tquestion that.
Yes, I pass all of that, butthat's not my preference.
So when you're asking me for mypreference.
I it is very clear that myancestors are West African
(43:02):
because I'm an orator, I'drather listen and talk my way
through whatever it is.
Look, yeah, I don't want to.
I don't want to.
I don't want to read nothingand I don't really want to write
it.
Just I'll listen and look for10 years Versus write something
or read something for one hour.
Speaker 1 (43:26):
I got something I didn't mention in that book that
I think might make you jaw dropa bit.
If the person wants to add a QRcode to the book on specific
pages, they can, and the QR codecan allow the person to submit
an audio or a video to supportwhatever image, whatever story
is on that page.
(43:47):
Because what you just said Ilove I mean being Puerto Rican
means you sit down and youlisten to stories and you talk
back really fast, Right?
That is something I find ismissing from a lot of these
spaces and why I built connectthe video, audio and text as
options is like there's nothingmore powerful than hearing or
watching someone's facialexpressions as they tell a story
(44:09):
, Like when my grandma tells astory she's excited about.
I don't really care what thestory is, I love watching
people's face change.
That is the best thing rightnow with you, Right, Like that's
my favorite thing about talkingto someone is seeing how their
hands move their you, right,like that's.
Speaker 2 (44:32):
My favorite thing about talking to someone is
seeing how their hands move.
Their facial moves right, right, right, 100, 100.
Omar, this has been truly,truly magnificent.
I cannot give you enoughgratitude and give you your
flowers for starting in highschool to care enough about
giving more than you receivedand then to say you know what I
want to help others.
This is happening to my familyI bet other people are
(44:54):
experiencing it.
And for you to come up with aproduct and then say I am going
to make this product availableto the masses, even after your
grandfather was no longerphysically available, that makes
it so apparent that it wasn'tabout serving yourself, and I
firmly believe there are more ofus in the world who are looking
(45:18):
to serve the globe and not totake first, and I wish you
tremendous success.
I can't wait for all of thesecondary and tertiary products
to come out of connect.
Let everyone know where and howto find connect.
Please spell it.
Speaker 1 (45:40):
Yeah, so the website is fine.
It's k-i-n-n-e-c-t dot clubc-l-u-b.
You know what I want to makesure that the caregiving
community understands that theyhave ideas or they want to share
feedback.
Email me, omar at k-i-n-n-e-C-Tdot club, omar at connect dot
(46:03):
club.
That is my direct line.
If I can find ways to usetechnology to serve a family and
serve what the community needs,that is like what you just said
.
That is my purpose in buildingthis company.
It is not to become acapitalistic person.
Speaker 2 (46:18):
It is to be focused on giving and about 17 minutes
ago you all heard it too it wasannounced blah, blah, blah,
something and my husband, sohe's no longer available.
I know, I said earlier, youknow if you end up marrying him
or getting a date or something,but I hope that stays in there,
(46:42):
because that made me die.
Speaker 1 (46:44):
Let it happen, let it stay.
Speaker 2 (46:46):
I'm just saying I don't want anyone putting in the
email something about somethingyou know.
Keep it, listen, keep it classy.
I don't need, you know, wedon't need any lawsuits.
Speaker 1 (46:58):
Omar has a husband but we all, we love.
We love the attention.
Share it over this is fantastic.
Speaker 2 (47:08):
You are welcome anytime, honey.
When the next products come out, please um come back.
We look forward to it.
Um best, best, best to yourfamily and to all of your next
pursuits.
Speaker 1 (47:22):
Hey, you too, jay.
Thank you to the communityAgain.
I'm here.
Share anything you need.
Speaker 2 (47:27):
Thank you for having me on the show.
Chase Miles, Absolutely, You'rewelcome.
The Snuggle Up Number one Lookfor outlets to give.
I am mesmerized by how Omaralways found a way to give to
(47:49):
other people as a youngster, inhigh school, through his 20s and
now in his 30s.
Not only did he care for hisgrandfather with Alzheimer's,
but he figured out how tocontinue giving in the community
to strangers.
You really do feel better whenyou give to other people, Even
(48:12):
if you don't want to give tostrangers.
Maybe you want to give tosomeone in your church community
, your neighborhood, somebodyelse in your family.
They might not even really besafe.
I know, I know.
I know.
I hear you right now honkingyour horn Horn what is that what
the hell is, a?
horn, honking your horn?
(48:33):
Maybe you're in the shower.
J Smiles.
When the hell do I have time togive anymore?
I'm a caregiver.
Have time to give anymore?
I'm a caregiver.
Maybe you just take fiveminutes to read a story to a
cousin or a family member whohas kids?
Trust me, when you give toother people, you just feel
(48:55):
better.
Number two honor your culture,your hometown, what you stand
for.
Could you hear the vibrance inOmar's voice when he talked
about Puerto Rico, the Latinoculture, spanish food, the way
(49:20):
they tell stories, spanish foodthe way they tell stories.
How much energy in the facialexpressions.
The hands hey, it doesn'tmatter if you know how to cook.
It doesn't matter if you playcharades Okay, I'm a big
charades player or if you likeacting.
(49:41):
You don't have to know anythingabout technology or how to
design an app, but bring yourfull self to caregiving.
Make sure that the whole worldis making space for you and your
family.
(50:04):
Don't just accept what thefacility where your loved one is
says.
If they say, hey, everyThursday is chicken pot pie, but
you know, your loved onefreaking hates chicken pot pie
or, for some reason, chicken potpie has never been a part of
your culture and you really likeI don't know hamburgers, tacos,
barbecue ribs or, uh, spinachbe, uh.
(50:32):
Anyway, I is this.
What is the dish?
I'm drawing a total blank.
Um, okay, let's just saybaklava.
You love baklava.
Ask them, ask the people at thefacility hey, can y'all start
having baklava.
Just because it's not on theredoesn't mean they won't enjoy it
.
And that all the other peopleliving there, all the other,
(50:57):
what do you call those peopleResidents?
It's so hard for me to think ofthem as residents because they
didn't choose to live there.
But don't, don't, that's justmy brain.
I had a difficult day.
As you are going on thisjourney of caregiving, you're
(51:22):
not only a voice for advocatingfor your LO to have the best
medical care, but you're caringfor their soul and their mind,
and this is an opportunity foryou to make the world a better
place.
Number three right now, thinkof a very happy memory that you
(51:45):
personally have.
I mean, it's just yours, youand your LO from before the
disease took over, and I don'tmean from before the disease got
bad and they had to move inwith you, or they had to move in
with big mama or sister, cousinor the lady next door or a
(52:06):
facility, I mean maybe 30 yearsago, or if your LO is no longer
alive.
What's just a good memory?
Summertime, winter time allowyourself to think of something
(52:26):
magical where, with nothing butsmiles and laughs, you deserve
it.
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