From Then Until Now: A Personal Moment on my Caregiving and Comedy Journey

A single shock can reorder a life. When my father passed suddenly and my mother’s Alzheimer’s deepened, I became the point person for everything. My pivot—raw, messy, and unplanned—sparked a mission: use comedy to have a positive outlet during those trying times. In this special mini episode, you'll hear me as I celebrate five years of our caregiver-centered podcast, ten years of stand-up, and my mom’s 77th lap around the sun, while pulling back the curtain on how humor, faith, and community turned chaos into a living blueprint for care.

I share how the pandemic forced me off the stage and into the mic, and how saying out loud “my mom has Alzheimer’s” changed the room. We talk about legacy—the grandparents who seeded my skits, the cousin who still lights up the room at ninety-three—and why I took my family name to the stage to honor where I come from. 

Caregiving touches almost everyone, whether you’re in it now, still healing, or propping up a friend. That’s why we lean into practical solidarity—financial vigilance after loss, late-night logistics, and the radical act of laughing on the worst days.

Subscribe, share this with your village, and leave a review with one lesson caregiving taught you—someone reading it will need exactly that today.

Executive Producer: J Smiles Comedy

Producer & Editor: Mia Hall 

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Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:02):
I hope you enjoyed this bonus episode.
So why not do a little extra?
Recently, me and Zeddy threw athree-day anniversary weekend.

SPEAKER_01 (00:17):
Celebrating five years of parenting up.
Ten years of Jay Smiles comedy.

SPEAKER_00 (00:22):
And Zaddy giving 77 years around the sun.
We love you.
Please enjoy parenting up.
Caregiving adventures withcomedian Jay Smiles is the
intense journey of unexpectedcharacter being fully
responsible for my mama.
For over a decade, I've beenchipping away at the unknown,

(00:43):
advocating for her, and pushingall kinds of awareness over
anyone in any face with a heart.

SPEAKER_01 (00:54):
That's why I started comedy.
Don't be ready for the job.

SPEAKER_00 (00:58):
Caregivers newborn and games and village members
just willing to prop up withcaregivers.
You are in the right place.

SPEAKER_01 (01:57):
I who did not get an invitation.
However, this weekend, reallyfor me and my heart represented
my very thought I would be inthis place.
Many of you have said, but Jay,you've been funny.
I'm like, yeah, but make asecond cook, don't open a

(02:20):
restaurant.
Take care of family reunion andSunday.
You know what I mean?
So Lucy, none of y'all said,with all that law engineering
and progress out to go get onsome of y'all didn't.
Y'all fault too.
Y'all fault too.
So but uh, you know, they sayyou make a plan and then God

(02:41):
will tell you what your life is.
So my father passed away veryabruptly on the couch within my
mom found him, within 90 days.
He had two points of thebidding.
Within six months, I was wantingboth of their firms trying to
figure out why my daddy died,how to make my mom not die.
And how not to let nobody takeall our money.

(03:03):
All everything they had workedfor.
I wanted to make sure that at aminimum I didn't lose money.
I was hurting.
So I wasn't playing on Fridaynight when I said Remy Mars 1738
cognac.

(03:26):
So, and then COVID made me startperforming comedy.
And the Holy Spirit said, butwhat you go do is make a podcast
with caregivers, ask JakeSmiles, and you're gonna tell
your caregiver story.
I thought Holy Spirit no, HolySpirit is a boo.
Body bow, body fold, body go,body fold.

(03:48):
So I started parenting uppodcasts.
Believe it or not, until theparenting up podcasts, I never
admitted that Jay Smiles onstage on inner speech.
Jay Smiles got a mama that gotAlzheimer's, and Jay Smiles'
daddy is in heaven.
The pandemic made that come out.

(04:10):
And so now we are at 10 years ofstand-up comedy.

SPEAKER_02 (04:14):
Woo!

SPEAKER_01 (04:21):
Five years of the podcast.
And the podcast is centeredaround supporting family
caregivers.
I'm not a scientist that can getrid of the disease, but I can
show them a hug and lock arms,and we can laugh about that shit
till we figure it out.
Ask family caregivers.

(04:42):
Everybody I know is eithercurrently a family caregiver,
they were a family caregiver, orthey're supporting a family
caregiver.
That means this thing is a it'sa well, the epidemic.
So I thank y'all for riding withme on this journey.
I didn't know when it I stillknow where all the journeys

(05:04):
were, but we are going forbigger and better and brighter.
I have to acknowledge my mama'sfavorite first cousin over here.
She's the star of the family.
She is 93 years old.

(05:25):
And look and watch this.
Keep your man away from her.
She's not gonna want to takehim, but he's gonna want to be
with her.
If she came from New Jersey, uhjust to be here to celebrate
with me and Zay.
That's a really good thing.
But tell him who your favoriteson before he was the first

(05:48):
person to make us whatever shebecome.
He didn't make it into Fridaynight.
But my grandfather and mygrandfather, my mama's parents,
Glove and MD, affectionates.
Um they were the beginning of medoing skits, for sure.

(06:11):
My name is Jay Smiles in comedybecause I'm a smiley.
My mama's a smiley.
I figured that was the best wayto owe to my lineage.
Um what I want you all hopefullyto take from this weekend is
life might give you lemons.
Do more than make lemonade,punch life back.

(06:34):
That's right.
If you want lemonade, cool.
But you could also just punch itlike life.
I ain't doing that.
I ain't doing my back.
I hope you all have met some newfamily members because I cannot
stress enough.
If you were here, it was veryintentional.
I all the venues were black old,all the decaterers, bartenders,

(07:02):
and I wanted I wanted intimatebut modern, refined spaces.
And so there were seatlimitations.
I was like, well, I can't invitemore than 125 people.
I know more than 125 people loveme, but I got 125.
Okay, so y'all are the 125.

(07:26):
My mama turned 77 yesterday.
They gave us, she was 62 whenshe was uh diagnosed, they say
three to six years.

(07:50):
I was even intentional aboutmoved by smart.
I know we're gonna but Coca-Colahadn't helped me make it as a
character.
That's right.
Everybody that was a sponsor hasbeen a part of my personal
journey of wellness.

(08:11):
So, and this is the baby care.
Woo! This is the good old girls'network.
Okay, my dentist is taking careof me and my mama, y'all can be
a cousin, but whatever.
The Alzheimer's Association madesure that I didn't get lost in

(08:33):
myself because I'm new toAtlanta.
I ain't new to the South, butI'm new to Atlanta.
So all of them, links to equity,everybody that you see listed,
they really did a part ofhelping me stand strong.
And that meant something to me.
Not to just say who might giveme some life.
Okay.
And caregivers, the wanda, youdon't want to say right now.

(08:53):
I think so.
That's the problem.
And she didn't want to, shedidn't want to work this far.

(09:17):
She needs help.
There really are too many of youto personally name individual.
But if you are here any case tothe front, you are the 65 inside
the one place.
I need you to know how much youmatters to me.
This man back over here,everybody was like, who is the

(09:38):
white court?
Don't know how to say try tohave a little white people.
It's extra emotional because heknew my dad.
He knew my father.

(09:59):
He knew about he lives inAlabama, but if he here, all the
caregivers have his numbers.
If I'm out of town and the barfalls off, or somebody's running
around the yard, he comes withsomething on my gun.

(10:20):
That's my good white beat.
I gotta get Lola Donna Lola.
You know, everybody been askingme, are you glad?
I mean it to the lady messed up,but I will tell you, we can't
took the road.

(10:43):
My Howard family, my Montgomeryfamily, my Sanford family came,
my Cumberland Long Cube familycame, my Delta family came, my
money people came.
Make sure I don't go rush.
It's very important.
It's very important.
My license are here, my Neos arehere, my Neo's Neos are here,

(11:05):
you know what I mean?
So that's only because the HolySpirit infused me with the best
in this whole world.
I have a one go for a realityshow.
Some of y'all know, so make thishappen.
I want to have, I call it a crewoff.
You put your crew against mycrew, and we see like who does

(11:26):
the best through the uh, youknow, weather value, challenges
all the stuff.
And I want to go against Oprahagain.
I think my crew would fuck theshit.
But they do have to give me thesame resources.
Like, I need the private plane,too.

(11:52):
Because that's just how Mark.
Y'all have held me down for solong.
I love it.
He's my new wife, but I ain'tknown him but a mom.
But yeah, but he helps helps mebe able to stand in here.
So, look, my two sisters'brothers, raise your hands,
please.

(12:13):
They bust me around.
They bust me around all the allthe time.
And she don't want me to dothis.
So don't clap too long.
But since the day my fatherstopped breathing, Monica tossed
with night.
Yes.
Give us a fight.
Monica, she is not a night out.

(12:42):
And she puts her phone on.
I would call her at three in themorning and she would just turn
over with an ass.
The Holy Spirit.
I'm like, why did you have shewas like, something woke me up?

unknown (12:54):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (12:55):
The phone didn't ring though.
That's right.
That's right.
That's right.
And she didn't tell me I had tostop drinking that morning.
Oh my god, yeah, well, this canyou do some water in between?
That's the love right there.
I would like all my lines ofholding.
Just hold your hand up.

(13:32):
My Neos.
My Neos Neos.
So I don't what I what I wantyou all to do, please, when you
leave here, is to leave the jokethat came out of chaos.
So when something chaos happens,you're like recently.

(13:53):
Chaos will go away.
And you will be a championagain.
And the people y'all know youcan hire us.

unknown (14:13):
Okay.

SPEAKER_01 (14:14):
We give speeches, but we can give us a long fans
and we talk about it.
We do speeches on Thare Givingand Alzheimer's and comedy.
We do comedy in night jobs, mymixed all the things.
Okay?
Okay?
And we will give the uh showmovie distribution.

(14:37):
And so at some point, you all aswe know that you are part of
history.
Our podcast producers here.

(14:59):
I love you all.
We love you too, James.
So much.
Um, my grandparents aredeceived, my dad is deceived, my
mom can't articulate to me.
But would each of you show up ortell me not to be loved
together?

(15:22):
It helps.
But I will make it good and shitright now.

(16:02):
She taught me how to do this.
Thank you for tuning in.
I mean, really, really, really,thank you so very much for
tuning in.
Whether you're watching this onYouTube or if you're listening

(16:23):
on your favorite podcast audioplatform.
Either way, wherever you are,subscribe.
Come back.
That's the way you're gonna knowwhen we do something next.
Y'all know how it is.
I'm Jay Smiles.
I might just drop something hotin the middle of the night.