November 11, 2024 • 33 mins
Happy National Family Caregivers Month!
That's right - in today's episode, we celebrate family caregivers and give tips on better supporting us! Whether it's helping out with everyday tasks, or reading articles that you think about sending us, before you forward our way - I just wanted to share some tips and tools you can use as the friend of a caregiver, or as a caregiver yourself.
This month, at the least, make sure to tell a caregiver how much you appreciate them. They will thank you!
Host: @jsmilescomedy
Producer: @MiaHallTV
Editor: @annelise9152
#NationalFamilyCaregivingMonth
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#caregiversupport
#caregivingtips
#comedypodcast
#dating
#DementiaAwareness
#AlzheimersCare
#CaregiverSupport
#HumorInCaregiving
#EndAlz
"Alzheimer's is heavy but we ain't gotta be!"
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
family.
This is nuts Okay, to me atleast it's nuts.
You know your person goes intothe hospital, something's wrong
with them, and then it's timefor them to be let go discharged
(00:22):
and go home.
Go discharged and go home.
What if there's no home to goto?
What if nobody shows up to pickthem up?
What is supposed to happen?
You can't just stay in thehospital forever, or can you?
Does the city keep you?
Does the state keep you?
Do you just becomeautomatically without a home, or
(00:44):
unhoused?
What in the whole hell?
Anyway, today's guest is aboutto let us know what in the world
goes down when a person mightnot have somebody to check on
them.
All right, come on, lean in,listen, watch.
(01:07):
I mean, I'm going to make sureit's a little bit funny, but it
hurts.
It hurts to think about it.
Parenting Up caregivingadventures with comedian Dave
Smiles is the intense journey ofunexpectedly being fully
responsible for my mama.
For over a decade I've beenchipping away at the unknown,
(01:28):
advocating for her and pushingAlzheimer's awareness on anyone
and anything with a heartbeat.
Spoiler alert I started comedybecause this shit is so heavy,
so be ready for the jokes.
Caregiver newbies, ogs andvillage members just willing to
prop up a caregiver, you are inthe right place.
(01:49):
Hi, this is Zeddy.
I hope you enjoy my daughter'spodcast, the hard truth about
diabetes and dementia.
The hard truth about diabetesand dementia.
Our parenting up community isgrowing so fast I can't put out
(02:12):
an episode as fast as we'regrowing.
So text podcast to 404-737-1449for updates, exclusives and
suggestions on topics.
While you're at it, share anepisode with a caregiver you
love.
Review on Apple Podcasts andfollow us on social media.
Subscribe to our YouTube page,please.
(02:36):
It really helps Parenting UpCommunity.
Boy.
We are about to have somethingspecial happen today.
Welcome.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Timothy, thank you.
Thank you so much.
A pleasure to be here.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
You have a unique combination.
I don't think we've quite hadanyone with your mix-up of
talent and experience.
This is going to be fun.
You are a caregiver and youhave a company that helps
medical experts get it right forpeople like me.
I cannot wait to dig into thisa little bit more.
(03:10):
So tell us about who it is youcare for in your family.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
So right now, yeah, so right now, my mom is our one
remaining caregiving member thatwe have.
So my mom has dementia.
It's a type 2 diabetes-relateddementia and it just comes from
years and years of neglect andgenes and the lottery and so
(03:42):
it's been interesting.
She has some, you know,interesting uh times and, um,
you know we recently actuallyhad a transitioner into uh into
a community and the communityhas memory care and that sort of
stuff for her uh when sheprogresses to that stage.
But, um, you know there was alot that was we had to do to set
up for that and I worked withmy sister, um, she was really
(04:04):
great with that and you knowthat's been entertaining.
It's been a bit of an adventure,especially like the little
things like you know, takingaway the car keys and that sort
of stuff.
And you know, just it's been atime.
But you know it kind of helpsus with our work.
You know we assist mainly weassist hospitals with finding
(04:25):
placement options for verychallenging patients and you
know we and unfortunately a lotof times we see folks with
dementia and Alzheimer's fallinto that category.
You know the family just isn'tquite prepared or on the same
page and you know, and insanityensues after that.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Right Before we get into your company with your mom,
you said dementia related typetwo diabetes.
See, I knew you were about togive us something we hadn't
talked about here before.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
So you tell me that your mom from diabetes actually
slipped on a banana peel intodementia actually slipped on a
banana pill into dementia.
Please let us know how thathappened Because, listen, I'm
from the deep South.
I know people aren't aroundhere thinking that the sugar
(05:20):
could lead them into forgettingstuff.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Please enlighten us, yep.
So there's three things thattypically happen to individuals
who have type 2 diabetes.
One is an increased risk ofcancer, another one is typically
increased risk of heart diseaseand a third is increased risk
of dementia, and that actuallytakes up a big chunk of people.
Isn't that crazy Right ofpeople?
(05:42):
And that crazy right?
And but if you think about ifyour body isn't managing sugar
properly, your brain is the oneorgan that, like says I need
sugar because it needs the mostof everybody, has so many things
it has to do, has to operate on.
But if your body isn't managingthat properly, um, that's going
to lead to damage in the brain.
You know, just, I just simplyto see it as easy as that right
(06:04):
and so and so that carries oninto, like you know, issues like
with dementia.
So if you mentioned so, if youmix that also with, like how
you're getting your, your carbs,like is it through alcohol or
something like that, then we,then we see it targeted on top
of that to like lewy bodydementia.
So you have, like you becomeviolent, that sort of stuff
different types of dementia ontop of that.
(06:26):
So, yeah, it's not, it's notfun, but yeah, it's, and now
that we're seeing that much morecommonly associated, where
hospitals will actually say thisis a type 2 type of diabetes,
associated dementia, as opposedto the patient just has straight
up dementia or whatever it maybe, they're actually clarifying
this in many cases and, if youthink about it, there's a
(06:47):
tremendous amount of medmanagement that you have to do
for somebody.
Does a dementia patient want tobe pricked Right?
It's like no, no, they don't.
Those are going to bechallenges that you have to deal
with and stuff like that.
So, getting that know, gettingthat sugar under control before,
yeah, go ahead.
(07:08):
Sorry.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
No, did you mention that?
Remember, I'm a comedian?
Did you just say, oh, dependingon how you get your carbs, say,
if it's alcoholism or if you'redrinking, I was like, well,
that's a way to get your carbs.
I know a lot of people who gettheir carbs through their
drinking and it can get out ofcontrol sometimes and I don't
(07:30):
know that any of them havethought through this could lead.
You know, people have thoughtabout or talk about.
I should say this I don't knowwhat they're thinking, but
they've thought about maybeliver damage, cancer, oh yeah
you know kidney liver problems,cirrhosis of the liver, but not,
(07:53):
oh man, I'm, you know, about tobreak my brain, which is what I
affectionately call yeah, but Inever really put that.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
I never put, like you know, some types of dementia
together with you know, with youknow excessive drinking and
stuff like that.
Uh, and yeah, I grew up inflorida and georgia, right, I
mean it's kind of like I mean,what else are you going to do on
a saturday, right?
I mean like like hello, youknow, I never like really kind
of put that together until Istarted working in health care
and and I said, yeah, person hasa history of drinking, they
(08:27):
have dementia.
And I remember a nurse wassaying no, no, absolutely not.
Just stay away.
Stay away because that personis going to turn on you in a
second and they're not going toknow why.
And it's because, yeah, becausethey just lose all regulation
of you know, anger control andthat sort of stuff.
So, and that's a wholedifferent type of dementia, a
Lewy body dementia, and that'swhat scares a daylight self
(08:50):
provider so much so we've had afair share of those.
I'm surprised.
I'm surprised she doesn't,because I mean I love my mom to
death but she for 20 years shehad a diet of Miller Light and
Jujubes right, that was her diet.
You know, and like you wouldfind like jujubes, like in her
(09:10):
house.
We find jujubes like all overthe place still and it's been
like you know years.
Right, you know it's like likemy goodness now like miller
light, I mean that's like really.
I mean I don't know if youcould really count that as beer.
It's not the strongest.
But to continuously like you'llbe drinking like you know a
couple and stuff like that.
And you know, you know, a nightI didn't like really think that
(09:31):
like whatever was like aproblem or anything.
Until like, until I had afriend of mine over, I was a
little kid and, um, my, my bestfriend, whole world, and his
first night.
He comes over and spends thenight and he goes back home.
We're hanging out the next dayand he says I have some
questions about your family.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
I was like well, what is it?
Speaker 2 (09:50):
He's like well, I don't think they're alcoholics,
but they do drink a lot.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
I was like really it's a light beer.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
I was like what's it going to be?
It's like you know, and it'skind of like I was talking to my
sister like a little while ago.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
It was just like yeah , we yeah, our parents.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
I drink like a lot, like I don't know if they were,
but you know my mom definitelyis, you know, having some of the
issues with it, you knownowadays and stuff especially
with type 2 diabetes and her,her dementia.
So yeah, it was like it madesome for some, for some
interesting moments.
But yeah, we'll still, we'llfind candy in the house for for
(10:32):
ages.
I'm pretty sure whoever ownsthis house next is gonna have
like, gonna find like randomboxes of jujubes hidden, stashed
away it's like it will be adelayed easter egg hunt, or like
a treasure finder or whoever.
And the crazy thing is theystopped making those like years
ago.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
It's like they're like this they may not even know
what it is they're like.
What is this?
Speaker 2 (10:55):
thing.
Is it pet food?
Is it goldfish?
Speaker 1 (10:59):
Yeah Right, what symptoms did your mom display to
let you or what other familymembers say think that she
needed medical intervention?
Ok, this is not just mom actinga little wonky or a little
quirky from her Miller light andher juju bees.
(11:20):
This is something more serious.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Yeah, well, I was taking place and we were taking
care of my dad, right, and westarted to notice that she was
like you know, she's payingattention to my dad.
My dad had cancer.
My dad had liver cancer.
There's a clad skin tumor.
I mean he's going to die.
I mean it's, you know, it's justhe put up like a hell of a
fight, but you know, but she waslike so involved in that and
(11:51):
she really wasn't even liketaking care of herself at all
and, um, and mind you, shedidn't really take care of
herself beforehand.
Um, and so that that reallykind of like accelerate
everything, the stress anddealing with all that, um, your
body just isn't going to hold upto it.
Very well, and you know, andshe was, you know she was
forgetting things.
You know, she was like you knowleaving, you know it's, you
know not one thing.
Like you know leaving the stoveon, but it know leaving, you
know is you know not one thinglike you know leaving the stove
on, but it's nothing entirely.
(12:12):
Like you know forgetting how todrive a car and you know, and
nearly running somebody over whowas my son at the time, and
then that's kind of like how wejerked the keys away.
We're like, yeah, no, that's,you don't get to drive anymore.
Or just like not payingattention to the speed limit,
like at all, you know, to thespeed limit, like at all.
It's like when you're loadingup in a car and mom's assisting
(12:33):
on driving and stuff like that,and you're positioning everybody
in a car and basically on whoyou love the most, right, the
ones that really care about itare going to sit in the back.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
Well, you didn't clean up the rest.
Go ahead and sit next to momall right.
Keep the window down so you canjump out, just in case you need
to tuck it all.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
You want one hand up and you don't have the other one
on the seat belt, in case youhave to jump exactly?
Speaker 1 (13:05):
did she realize?
Go ahead, no, no.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
No, no, she didn't, no, she didn't realize it was
going on.
You don't?
You don't really I mean cause,you know, and and and once and
once.
Once individuals do realizeit's usually too late.
She, she, we were watching, wewere watching Braveheart.
One time my mom's from Scotland.
She was from Glasgow, right,but she was like she's.
She would spend like four hoursin Scotland, you know, but she
(13:31):
considers herself Scottish youknow, and she grew up in
Scotland Four hours.
That's funny, literally likeyeah, yeah, like she popped out,
they got onto a plane.
They were like in the airportand then they left right I mean,
or boat, whatever they took,because it was like the 40s,
right, and so the um.
(13:53):
So we're watching braveheart,which is I mean, my mom it
treats it as a comedy um,because it's not like really
factually accurate, like at all.
It's like not close.
And but there's one scene mymom's from glasgow and she's
always been very proud ofglasgow and there's like a rival
city called Edinburgh inScotland.
That's kind of like the NewYork versus Boston type of
(14:16):
rivalry, right, and my mom andsister and it says in a cute
little like dementia starting tokick in voice oh, they filmed
it on location, like when theywere showing like Edinburgh, and
it's like, you know, it's likethey're all like wearing kilts
and it's like mud and it's likeyou know, the 13th century, but
yeah, she can recognize it as itbeing Edinburgh, like nothing
(14:40):
ever changed.
And we just like I mean she waslike very like sweet about it,
but we just everyone's like Ijust busted out laughing at it.
You know, it's like it waspretty, it was pretty good.
So you get like those kind oflike moments.
But you know, it was like we'renot like quite connected, but
those are that's kind of like atale, like okay, like we're
we're not putting the piecestogether here and that sort of
stuff.
So it was it's.
(15:03):
It has to be a lot of Hopefully.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
That's good dry humor .
I think David Letterman wouldhave appreciated that comment.
Absolutely, absolutely.
How many years?
Speaker 2 (15:20):
since her diagnosis.
About five, about five years.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
Yeah, and we really worked pretty hard to get her
sugar intake under control.
Grocery shopping is fun withher.
Let me tell you, you are thedevil.
She wants to buy every singlecandy, that there is every
single alcohol.
Now she's in a community.
They're like, well, they let mehave alcohol and drink whatever
(15:44):
I want in the community.
I'm like, no, they fuckingdon't.
No, they don't like, trust meon this one.
Like they're just giving yougrape juice, mom, or cranberry
juice, okay.
It's like no, no, that's likenot happening, of course.
It's like and then?
And then you'll find likethere's like, yeah, they'll have
(16:04):
, like people like stashed awaybeer, because they do just like
like in alfs, they will servealcohol, you know, because I
mean, they want to be like, youknow, fun like that, but they're
not supposed to give it toeverybody.
And she's like on that list,like absolutely do not, because
she will start dancing on tables.
Um, yeah, don't do that.
Yeah, she's, she is, she is theparty.
Um, she has to have theattention and that's the other
(16:26):
thing like dimension, those,those types of behaviors can
really start to come out more.
Um, if, if your loved one waslike a little bit manipulative
beforehand, that's gonna reallykind of kick into high gear.
They're really gonna be moreand more manipulative as it
progresses.
You know, my mom's my mom'salways trying to pull something
between me and my sister likeall the time.
(16:48):
It's just like she's our mom.
So are you awful children?
We're gonna.
How could you do this?
You're the worst people ever.
I'm like like, are you kidding?
Speaker 1 (17:03):
like seriously, like, like, like I like I don't get
it Are you and your sister,typically on the same page with
your mom's care.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
Oh, absolutely Same page, same medication, same
alcohol, same everything.
Yeah, we match really good.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
It doesn't always happen that way it's just like.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
It's just like it is you have a parenting up, right,
you can't, you can't.
You and your spouse have to beon the same page with your
children, right?
Well, you and your siblingshave to be on the same page.
Your parents, because,especially my mom, because she's
like pretty manipulative, shewill twist it, she tries to pit
us against each other.
Like are you kidding me?
(17:53):
Like how messed up is that?
Like you know, and so likethere'll be times where she's
like she's only talking to likeone of us.
On top of that, you know.
So like, right now, I'm the badchild.
Like what the hell did I do?
Speaker 1 (18:10):
Will she tell you that she's upset with you, or
does she only let your sisterknow?
Speaker 2 (18:14):
usually only tells the other, only tells the other
one.
And the thing is, you want toknow what it is that I got to be
the bad one for?
Speaker 1 (18:26):
usually in this case yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
so my, we have my mom , like has her like credit cards
still and that sort of stuff,and she was spending a lot and,
um, you know, that's, you'regonna, you're gonna, you're
gonna spend yourself down.
You know, really quickly,that's not an option we really
want.
So we it wasn't even like adiscussion, it was just like
(18:48):
we're going to take the creditcards away.
My sister took the credit cardsaway and we give her a bank
card.
That could be you could addvalue to it, ok, you could put
like cash on it, whatever, sothat could cover her needs and
so she doesn't end up broke.
And the and my mom got likelike furious at my sister for
that at first, but then turnedit towards us when I, when I was
(19:13):
talking to my mom and justtotally I said no, that's
exactly what it was, becausegive you, give you a week and
you would be flat broke becauseyou buy like everything like
like.
And that happens too, like youknow, because you're trying to.
Sometimes people are trying tofill in, like you know, sort of
like a loss, like you know sortof like a loss, or like you know
some sort of like connectionthat they're looking for and you
(19:33):
know you get that instantgratification when you buy
something, right?
So you know you'll see peoplebuy things a lot.
You know, my mom was like that.
We had a case where it was likethat was at the hospital and the
guy had like freaking AmazonPrime boxes throughout his room
because he'd been ordering shiton Amazon.
He, he or he'd been in thehospital for so long.
(19:56):
The guy ordered a Roomba.
The guy ordered a Roomba and hehad the.
The Roomba was like goingaround the hospital.
I was like that's really kindof cool.
You guys have a Roomba in here.
They're like no, the patientordered that.
He's like and I get up to himand he's like yeah, I felt like
it should have helped tidy upthe place.
You're kidding me, dude?
He'd been there for so long.
You know it was like you go inthere.
(20:18):
It was like you know, there'sprobably about 60 Amazon boxes
that hadn't even been opened yet, right?
And he's trying to like yeah,he's a dementia guy, but he's
just trying to feel that needyou know?
Kind of like, oh, you gotsomething.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
No one stopped him Like a nurse.
Well, I guess for the room.
But they were like, hey, thisis benefiting us.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
The CFO's probably like wow, we're saving labor
hours here.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
thanks, Absolutely.
Let's talk about your company.
Let's talk a little bit aboutyour company.
You have um a special expertisebecause, yes, you're in health
care.
That is a broad, broad umbrella.
You actually let me, let me seeif I can um get it right,
(21:07):
because it sounds really cool tome, but I'm going to say it in
very casual terms.
Just think of whatever.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
It's fine, I'll agree with it.
Go for it.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
Feed unicorns and help caregivers sleep at night.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
If I do, I tuck them in.
I tuck them in, it's just.
You want to have them pointingthe other way?
Yeah, because the poop sparklesand therefore don't really I
tuck him in.
Speaker 1 (21:29):
Yeah, it's just you want to have them pointing the
other way, right yeah, becausethe poop sparkles and therefore
don't really but you yourcompany assist hospitals with a
patient after they leave thehospital.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
So upon In order to actually in order to get them
out.
So they're stuck in thehospital, no one's taking them,
the family's given up, they'reexhausted, right, and they're at
their wit's end.
Or there's needs that thepatient has that the community
(22:10):
can't address, they can't, theycan't match it.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
Right.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
In steps, tim, because a family, there's a
patient and they don't knowwhether they should be going to
rehab or a nursing home or theyshould go home, or if there is a
home and there there's not afamily or some person who's
healthy enough to come andactually pick them up.
(22:38):
Think about how many of uswould never have crossed that
journey of saying like I've beenin the hospital I've had nine
surgeries and I've been in thehospital a lot of other times
I've never had to wonder who wascoming to pick me up or if I
(23:01):
had a place to go and recover.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
That's what I mean.
It's like if you think about it, if you're the patient.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
It's pretty shitty, right.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
I mean, it's like you're like, like nobody cares,
like, think about if you're thepatient.
It's pretty shitty right.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
I mean, it's like you're like like there's no,
like nobody cares, like you know, you're like what the hell you
know?
And and will it be like a?
So you have like skillednursing, right, and that's like
you're going to go into there,and so skilled nursing, nursing
homes are basically the samething, and you're going to get
rehab for a brief period of time, and you may end up being a
resident there.
That's the last option that wewant, because it's the most
(23:31):
expensive and the quality oflife is pretty low.
And then you have like assistedliving.
It's basically a landlockedparty ship for seniors, but you
can get some rehab and that sortof stuff going on with them.
But really, the best option,though, is always for the person
to return home to a point,right, and that's what we try to
(23:53):
look to set up too, but youknow, for more and more folks,
they just don't have that.
They just don't have thatsocial support, they don't have
that family support, or thefamily just doesn't know what to
do next, and they drained alltheir resources or their
availability.
They've totally broken.
They're like, just whatever, wedon't care, I've sent them out
(24:14):
of state.
That's fine, which really sucks.
So we try to work with familiesand the patients to well, the
hospitals, to get these issuesmitigated so that we can get the
show on the road, because youdon't want to be in a hospital.
After you've been in a hospitalfor 20 days, nothing good is
going to happen.
It's impossible.
(24:37):
You're not like nothing's goingto happen.
We've seen like the craziestshit we saw, like beds, like
literally, like just like randomthings that we saw like a bed
like flip on a patient one time,like, like, really like that.
Yeah, it broke the patient'sspine right and it wasn't.
It wasn't anything.
We've seen like, yeah, like,like, just like crazy, like
actual, genuinely like crazyshit.
But we also seen like whatwe're staff or is like you know,
(25:01):
you're putting a burden on thehospital to continue to bring I
mean to to get, provide carejust for that hospital and turn
on the lights for your room at$800.
Right.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
It's like the shittiest hotel ever, right?
Speaker 2 (25:21):
I mean it is it's like well.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
No rooftop bar, cream corn and ginger ale what have
been?
Speaker 2 (25:29):
The bar is crap.
The bar is crap.
The bar is crap.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
The valet sucks.
They don't ever really knowwhere your car is.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
Lost my car, totally lost.
Oh yeah, I lost the patient'scar one time.
I ended up at another hospitalwhat that's a different?
And ended up at anotherhospital.
What that was a different story, different story another day.
Oh yeah, this guy ended up atanother hospital.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
What has been one of the more challenging cases for
you.
Give us an example of achallenging case, because I got
to tell you the majority of mylisteners or my viewers they are
family caregivers for a lovedone, so they are individuals who
(26:23):
have taken on theresponsibility or are seriously
considering it.
So they are not the individualswho have tapped out quite yet,
but it doesn't mean that theymay not reach the end of their
rope, so they may need to havethis information and or pass it
(26:46):
along to someone else.
So this is kind of I want to beable to.
I want individuals to have theknowledge to say, hey, if I'm at
my wit's end, because the onething I think about is this Tim,
yes, the first thing is for adementia patient or anyone to be
able to live and recover athome right, but if, for some
(27:11):
reason, you can't provide safeand adequate care, don't bring
the person home.
Don't bring them home and abusethem or neglect them.
So it's better to be in touchwith someone like yourself and
your company.
So give us, please, an exampleof when you should like, an
(27:42):
example of a case that is.
Speaker 2 (27:45):
Perfect for you.
That's what I think I mean.
Yeah, well, so we want to avoidme being called?
Ok, we don't want me beingcalled because there's there's.
It's never a good situation.
So what we want to do?
Um, when we have it doesn'tmatter if your loved one has
dementia or Alzheimer's or not.
Um, let's get a decision maker,a legal decision maker, in
(28:06):
place sooner rather than later.
Um, it doesn't matter if you'remarried or whatever.
Make sure there's a documentthat says this is who my
decision maker is going to be.
Right, so you have a power ofattorney, a durable power of
attorney, ideally, and you canget these done.
Actually, the healthier you are, the cheaper it is, and I would
do this with an attorney.
The other thing is you're goingto want to look into a trust.
(28:28):
I don't care if you make $700 amonth on Social Security or if
you make $7,000 a month onSocial Security.
You're going to want to look ata potential for there to be a
trust involved in this.
What do you need for a trust?
And then the other thing isyou're going to look at your
state's requirements forMedicaid, because, at the end of
the day, if you have a trust,you have a power of attorney and
(28:51):
if you have a plan to get ontoMedicaid, that means that
there's going to be a long-termcare payer for you and we're not
going to be burdening thefamily right, or you're, or
you're not going to be burdenedby your loved one when they need
, when they need this assistancebecause we got it, we got a
payer.
And if I'm a company I used to,I used to oversee skilled
nursing facilities I would muchrather get paid by the state,
(29:15):
even though it's going to beless than a private pay, than by
an individual who I have to sitthere and bill and chase down
every single month for the rent.
I would rather be paid by stateand say it's on time, I know
exactly how much it's going tobe.
You know so that those are thethings we want to try to do to
kind of avoid.
So our toughest case, case everand it wasn't like somebody who
(29:37):
had like a criminal backgroundor you know, or as a vent
dialysis patient or this, likehuge, massive clinical
complexity it was this 60 someodd year old lady.
She's not even 65 yet.
She has, she has a little bitof a bipolar issue, and you know
(29:58):
she's, she's married and hassome kids, right, the kids are
quite ready to take care of her.
They're not quite old enough.
And the husband's a little bitworn down, right, and he's.
We later found out he wasfreaking over it, dude.
It was like he.
He went awol, he was nowhere.
He found that was part of it,right.
So, like, we're trying to reachout and communicate with this
(30:19):
guy and he's not.
He's not following up with us.
So, okay.
So we gotta like figure outwho's gonna pay for this,
because there's no.
She's in a hospital.
There's no reason to keep herin a hospital and there's
nothing for the hospital for todo, and there's meaning that
medicare isn't going to pay forher stay in a nursing home
afterwards.
You have to have a reason to bein a nursing home.
Besides, there's no other placefor you to go.
(30:39):
You have to have, like she'sgoing to go work on her hip or
whatever is.
I meet this lady like in person,because I show up and the nurse
like sits there and says to meshe's like, um, and she's been
there.
She's like one of those nursesthat's been there like a while.
She's like don't fall in love,like what.
So there's something I'mmissing here, right?
(31:00):
You know I kind of like lookthrough the meds and that sort
of stuff Nothing crazy.
You know.
There's like there's no, likehow it all?
Sarah Quill or anything likethat.
She hasn't been restrained orthat I go.
Now we sit there, we have thislovely conversation for this
lady, sweetest lady in the world, right, I'm like this is going
to be freaking easy.
Like what's the big deal?
She's been denied by a lot ofplaces.
(31:20):
Yeah, that's fine because herpayer is not great, but we got
the payment situation squaredaway, you know.
And once we did get theinformation from.
The kids were able to help usget the information for Medicaid
.
We were able to get into abuilding, right, because now the
building knows they're going toget paid and so she gets
transferred.
I should have kind of realizedthat something was up when the
(31:41):
hospital transferred her late atnight, right.
So the hospital transferred herafter dinner hours, right.
So that's usually like okay,that's not a good sign.
The hospital wants her out forsome reason and she gets to the
new facility and I get a callfrom that facility about two
o'clock in the morning and uh,which is really uncommon and uh,
(32:03):
and they're not that far away.
They're, they're only likeabout 30 minutes away.
So like like, well, I'll justI'll go there and check it out,
see what's going on.
She's running around naked withher soil filled diaper, going
like this in the hallways andthat sort of stuff.
And so the hospital, I like,left off some information about
(32:24):
her medications.
Family wasn't really toowilling to share that
information with the hospitaleither.
The hospital sort of discoveredit.
I get to her room and she has.
She had taken her soil diaperand spelled out h-e-l-l in there
and I said she misspelled helloand she's just like, I mean
(32:50):
she's screaming up and down thehallway like a banshee and stuff
like that, you know.
And so eventually we get you geta primary care physician in and
we talked to them about theadvantages of the Heldol patch
that's going to last a month forher and get her settled down a
little bit.
But the fact that there was nocommunication between the family
and the hospital that was thatwas made things very challenging
(33:15):
.
Had the family and the hospitalbeen communicating, that would
have been.
That would have helped out alot and especially if you ever
have to go to hospital, yourbest friend it's not the nurse,
it's not the physician, it's notthe freaking CFO or whoever is.
That's going to be a niceperson to know.
They might pick up your lunchbill, but it's actually.
(33:35):
It's that case manager, right,and and that's the person who's
coordinating all the care.
That that's that's been goingon both inside the hospital for
your loved one and outside thehospital.
That's the person you need tobe up with, friends with okay,
hold on, tim, you got.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
Come on, timothy, you got it.
You said you gave us a mouthfulhere and you got to talk really
slow for those of us who justfinished first grade.
Case manager where do we evenfind the case manager?
How do we get to him?
Who do we ask?
Speaker 2 (34:10):
yeah, there is this magical person.
Yeah, there is this magicalperson.
Yeah, there is this magicalperson in the hospital.
Speaker 1 (34:16):
When do we go and get this case manager person?
Speaker 2 (34:20):
In the ER?
Right, they are in the ER andthat person is actually really
is the decision maker on whetheror not you get admitted into
the hospital or not.
It is the case manager.
The physicians can have input.
The physicians can say, yeah,we're going to order therapy for
(34:41):
this individual, but it'sreally, it's the case manager.
That's the person you need onyour side more than anyone.
You need and you need to workwith that person.
So that person is like themovie producer Everybody else,
of course, your loved one is thestar of the movie, but you
doctors are the differentdirectors, the nurses are the
writers and that sort of stuff,right, but the producer of the
film that's going to be yourcase manager and that's going to
(35:02):
change from position in thehospital to position in the
hospital.
So the ER case manager is goingto be different than the ICU or
the med surge case manager andso forth.
Those are all different casemanagers, but those are the
people generally.
Those are.
They're different people, butthat's the person you need to
know, um, you know, and that'sthe person you need to be on the
(35:24):
same page with.
You know, it's usually a verystressed out individual.
They're usually hiding in acorner around the nurse's
station, shrouded in darkness.
They're stressed out.
They've usually had about sixpeople yell at them just before
they've spoken to you.
They just took turns like allyelling at them.
(35:47):
The reality of it is, thoughwithout case management and
central services, the hospitaldoes not operate.
There's't, there's no reason.
They're just.
It's just a big building.
They organize all this, allthis pandemonium, and get your
loved one out, and that personhas, like, the final say.
And really, in what type ofcare they're going to get
(36:07):
outside the hospital?
At least they have the finalsay on the hospital side.
So that's your best friend.
Yeah, bring that person, yourbest friend.
Yeah, bring that person.
You know alcohol.
They're usually good withchocolate.
They're usually good with pens,all those types of things.
Right, barter with them.
You know, because you don't, Imean, you don't want to talk to
(36:31):
you know the 20-year-old nursewho, just you know, broke up
with their boyfriend thatthey've been dating for 10
minutes.
That person's not going to tellyou, um, you know what's going
on with your mom.
Speaker 1 (36:41):
They don't know.
Speaker 2 (36:43):
Yeah, sorry, sorry.
They're really smart, thoughthey are like wicked smart.
They know everything.
Speaker 1 (36:49):
They're really smart and they have a lot of energy.
They have a lot of energy, butit doesn't mean that they're
going to get what you need.
So that is, that is oh, man.
Speaker 2 (37:07):
Go ahead, patients they need to see, and then they
got to move on right, becausethey got to either go visit
patients somewhere else back attheir office or whatever.
They got too much.
This isn't their job.
They're like, yeah, okay, I canorder those meds.
Okay, next, next, let's go.
It really is, it's an assemblyline for them.
(37:31):
Case management is the one thatis really kind of getting
things down to the minute.
Speaker 1 (37:37):
Well, Tim, this has been fascinating and informative
and funny at times, even thoughI know it may have been some
hardships it's so messed up.
Oh, I'll never forget, I'llnever forget that, lady
(38:07):
Hardships along the way, butsome really silly stuff service
area and or how they find acompany like yours, depending on
what state or what country theymay be in, how they make sure
that they're covered.
Speaker 2 (38:24):
Yeah, so we are national.
Our company is ATP Healthcare.
We work with a lot of healthsystems already, primarily in
Florida, georgia, california,texas right now.
But you can ask your casemanager if they have placement
specialists and there areplacement companies that do this
(38:50):
and they receive a fee from anassisted living company for
referring your loved one totheir community.
That's not how we operate,because we essentially those
individuals.
We're seeing them as being soldto the highest bidder.
We are actually hired by eitherthe hospital, the insurance
company or the family and wework with them for six-month
(39:12):
period blocks on the transitionfor their loved one, and so we
stay with that family for sixmonths.
But what I kind of explainedearlier about making sure that
the power of attorney, that sortof stuff's in place, that we've
looked into Medicaid, a trust,those things are really kind of
key.
You need to get those set up andyou don't need somebody like me
(39:35):
to do that.
And once you do that, then thenyou're, then then you're halfway
there.
Okay, if you have a clinicalissue or a criminal background
or something like that, that's,you know, that's more the type
of individual we work with onprivate, privately, you know.
So that's that's not a problemeither, um, but yeah, the best
(39:56):
way is just contact us throughatbhealthcarecom on our website
and you just fill out a form.
Uh, it keeps you pretty privateand you can share information
with us that way on how you wantto be contacted, um, you know,
or you can reach out to usdirectly on our phone.
That's also on the, on the uh,on the website too.
On the website too, we areworking on a chat bot for the
(40:19):
website and which you will justbe able to.
Hopefully, in the next fewmonths it'll be up and where
you'll just be able to ask itquestions and it's going to have
a nice little conversation withyou.
We're still working on somebugs on it, but that should be
able to help individuals out.
Speaker 1 (40:36):
Well, this is what I want to say.
You are welcome back anytime.
Thank you so much for the workthat you do, not only as a
caregiver because we are allconnected by soul and spirit and
elbows in this thing, thisjourney of being a family
caregiver but even, by extension, what you do professionally to
(41:00):
make sure that individuals areplaced somewhere If, for some
reason, they don't have a homewhere they can return, the fact
that you do all you can to getthem placed somewhere that is
adequate and safe and sound,that's amazing.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
So thank you very much.
I mean no problem.
I mean if somebody, if somebodycalled you and they ask you for
help, you're supposed to help,Right, yes, Right, it's just.
I mean that's.
I mean that's what it is Right.
So, and someone needs help, soyou just, you just help them.
Fantastic Well you take care.
You take care you do the same.
Speaker 1 (41:43):
All right, hon Bye, let's snuggle up.
Number one type 2 diabetes canpush you into dementia.
Damn it, listen, what the hellis this dementia doing?
(42:03):
To us looks like everything andeverywhere all around.
Everything and everywhere allaround is just ending up at
dementia land Pass.
Go, get $200 and get dementia.
Is that the new game we playingnow?
(42:24):
I remember when Zeddy had thecatastrophic event of my daddy's
death that pushed her LB intoit.
I didn't know that a suddencalamity could cause it.
They were like oh yeah, jaceMelton can.
And now Timothy has let us knowthat his mom's type 2 diabetes
absolutely led to her dementiaand that it's not just her, that
this is a known thing.
(42:45):
They just hadn't let us knownit thing.
They just hadn't let us knownit.
So if you have type twodiabetes, or if you know some
with it, someone with it, blah,blah, blah, please get them to
(43:05):
keep it in check.
Right, like it doesn't have torun amok.
Your type two diabetes can bemanaged.
Please manage it, because youdon't need to go from diabetes
into dementia.
Number two Everyone isn't wanted.
Ah, that's so hard and ugly tosay, but everybody doesn't have
(43:34):
a family or a loved one or aneighbor or a community who
cares, therefore, as a familycaregiver.
You're listening, you'rewatching, watching.
That's hilarious.
You're listening and we'regoing to Watching.
That's hilarious.
You're listening and we'regoing to keep all this in here,
because that's what we do at theParenting Up podcast.
(43:54):
Right, this is the point.
We are human and shit happens,just like that.
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
That Jace Mouse just happenedto do.
You're a part of this village,so you're listening or you're
watching.
You're a part of this village,so you're listening or you're
watching.
So you do care for someone withdementia or some other
(44:19):
debilitating disease, but, man,everybody that is suffering
doesn't have a.
You Give yourself credit forthat.
Give yourself credit for that.
Give yourself credit for caring, even on a bad day, even when
(44:42):
you get the doctor'sappointments incorrect, or maybe
you, oh man, I forgot mom anddad's shoes.
I brought the slippers insteadof the sneakers.
Whatever, I forgot the name ofthe doctor.
Whatever, I forgot to give momher favorite juice.
I gave her water instead, andnow she won't drink anything.
Whatever, I forgot to call backthe insurance company.
You guessed it.
Let me hear it Right.
(45:04):
Whatever, you at least areshowing up and you care Because,
as Timothy, let us know thereare some people who are left in
the hospital and nobody evenshows up to discharge them.
Oh man, but truth be told, thatcould happen to any of us at
(45:30):
any moment in time, because, asmy grandmother, zeddy's mom,
told me over and over again,nobody owes you anything, no one
, not your mama, not your daddy,anything that is ever done for
you.
It is a choice that someonedecided in that moment in time
(46:03):
to care for you.
So, listen, the fact that youchoose to care is a big,
freaking deal.
And if no one told you recentlythank you for, day in and day
out, choosing to care for yourLO, even when you don't want to,
you do it any damn way.
(46:27):
Number three what have you donefor yourself today, not
yesterday, not last week, notlast year, today this day, I
don't care if it was 30 secondsor 30 minutes what have you done
for yourself?
I'm a pause for five secondsand I want you to say it out
(46:50):
loud, wherever you are now, ifyou didn't say anything, boo,
and I want you to do somethingfor yourself before you go to
(47:11):
sleep tonight.
It could be five minutes of acrossword puzzle Watch, five
minutes of a television show orsomething streaming that you
like, a music video, sing a songthat you like, pull the song up
(47:37):
and sing along.
Take a bath, massage your ownfeet with lotion something for
yourself, hell, maybe actuallygo to bed.
If you're a caregiver, justgoing to bed is a big freaking
deal.
Okay, don't let me down.
(48:00):
I'm depending on you to takecare of you.
All right, what's up?
Family?
Share this episode right herewith the caregiver you love.
Review on apple podcast.
Follow us on social media andplease subscribe to our youtube
channel.
family.
This is nuts Okay, to me atleast it's nuts.
You know your person goes intothe hospital, something's wrong
with them, and then it's timefor them to be let go discharged
(00:22):
and go home.
Go discharged and go home.
What if there's no home to goto?
What if nobody shows up to pickthem up?
What is supposed to happen?
You can't just stay in thehospital forever, or can you?
Does the city keep you?
Does the state keep you?
Do you just becomeautomatically without a home, or
(00:44):
unhoused?
What in the whole hell?
Anyway, today's guest is aboutto let us know what in the world
goes down when a person mightnot have somebody to check on
them.
All right, come on, lean in,listen, watch.
(01:07):
I mean, I'm going to make sureit's a little bit funny, but it
hurts.
It hurts to think about it.
Parenting Up caregivingadventures with comedian Dave
Smiles is the intense journey ofunexpectedly being fully
responsible for my mama.
For over a decade I've beenchipping away at the unknown,
(01:28):
advocating for her and pushingAlzheimer's awareness on anyone
and anything with a heartbeat.
Spoiler alert I started comedybecause this shit is so heavy,
so be ready for the jokes.
Caregiver newbies, ogs andvillage members just willing to
prop up a caregiver, you are inthe right place.
(01:49):
Hi, this is Zeddy.
I hope you enjoy my daughter'spodcast, the hard truth about
diabetes and dementia.
The hard truth about diabetesand dementia.
Our parenting up community isgrowing so fast I can't put out
(02:12):
an episode as fast as we'regrowing.
So text podcast to 404-737-1449for updates, exclusives and
suggestions on topics.
While you're at it, share anepisode with a caregiver you
love.
Review on Apple Podcasts andfollow us on social media.
Subscribe to our YouTube page,please.
(02:36):
It really helps Parenting UpCommunity.
Boy.
We are about to have somethingspecial happen today.
Welcome.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Timothy, thank you.
Thank you so much.
A pleasure to be here.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
You have a unique combination.
I don't think we've quite hadanyone with your mix-up of
talent and experience.
This is going to be fun.
You are a caregiver and youhave a company that helps
medical experts get it right forpeople like me.
I cannot wait to dig into thisa little bit more.
(03:10):
So tell us about who it is youcare for in your family.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
So right now, yeah, so right now, my mom is our one
remaining caregiving member thatwe have.
So my mom has dementia.
It's a type 2 diabetes-relateddementia and it just comes from
years and years of neglect andgenes and the lottery and so
(03:42):
it's been interesting.
She has some, you know,interesting uh times and, um,
you know we recently actuallyhad a transitioner into uh into
a community and the communityhas memory care and that sort of
stuff for her uh when sheprogresses to that stage.
But, um, you know there was alot that was we had to do to set
up for that and I worked withmy sister, um, she was really
(04:04):
great with that and you knowthat's been entertaining.
It's been a bit of an adventure,especially like the little
things like you know, takingaway the car keys and that sort
of stuff.
And you know, just it's been atime.
But you know it kind of helpsus with our work.
You know we assist mainly weassist hospitals with finding
(04:25):
placement options for verychallenging patients and you
know we and unfortunately a lotof times we see folks with
dementia and Alzheimer's fallinto that category.
You know the family just isn'tquite prepared or on the same
page and you know, and insanityensues after that.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Right Before we get into your company with your mom,
you said dementia related typetwo diabetes.
See, I knew you were about togive us something we hadn't
talked about here before.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
So you tell me that your mom from diabetes actually
slipped on a banana peel intodementia actually slipped on a
banana pill into dementia.
Please let us know how thathappened Because, listen, I'm
from the deep South.
I know people aren't aroundhere thinking that the sugar
(05:20):
could lead them into forgettingstuff.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Please enlighten us, yep.
So there's three things thattypically happen to individuals
who have type 2 diabetes.
One is an increased risk ofcancer, another one is typically
increased risk of heart diseaseand a third is increased risk
of dementia, and that actuallytakes up a big chunk of people.
Isn't that crazy Right ofpeople?
(05:42):
And that crazy right?
And but if you think about ifyour body isn't managing sugar
properly, your brain is the oneorgan that, like says I need
sugar because it needs the mostof everybody, has so many things
it has to do, has to operate on.
But if your body isn't managingthat properly, um, that's going
to lead to damage in the brain.
You know, just, I just simplyto see it as easy as that right
(06:04):
and so and so that carries oninto, like you know, issues like
with dementia.
So if you mentioned so, if youmix that also with, like how
you're getting your, your carbs,like is it through alcohol or
something like that, then we,then we see it targeted on top
of that to like lewy bodydementia.
So you have, like you becomeviolent, that sort of stuff
different types of dementia ontop of that.
(06:26):
So, yeah, it's not, it's notfun, but yeah, it's, and now
that we're seeing that much morecommonly associated, where
hospitals will actually say thisis a type 2 type of diabetes,
associated dementia, as opposedto the patient just has straight
up dementia or whatever it maybe, they're actually clarifying
this in many cases and, if youthink about it, there's a
(06:47):
tremendous amount of medmanagement that you have to do
for somebody.
Does a dementia patient want tobe pricked Right?
It's like no, no, they don't.
Those are going to bechallenges that you have to deal
with and stuff like that.
So, getting that know, gettingthat sugar under control before,
yeah, go ahead.
(07:08):
Sorry.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
No, did you mention that?
Remember, I'm a comedian?
Did you just say, oh, dependingon how you get your carbs, say,
if it's alcoholism or if you'redrinking, I was like, well,
that's a way to get your carbs.
I know a lot of people who gettheir carbs through their
drinking and it can get out ofcontrol sometimes and I don't
(07:30):
know that any of them havethought through this could lead.
You know, people have thoughtabout or talk about.
I should say this I don't knowwhat they're thinking, but
they've thought about maybeliver damage, cancer, oh yeah
you know kidney liver problems,cirrhosis of the liver, but not,
(07:53):
oh man, I'm, you know, about tobreak my brain, which is what I
affectionately call yeah, but Inever really put that.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
I never put, like you know, some types of dementia
together with you know, with youknow excessive drinking and
stuff like that.
Uh, and yeah, I grew up inflorida and georgia, right, I
mean it's kind of like I mean,what else are you going to do on
a saturday, right?
I mean like like hello, youknow, I never like really kind
of put that together until Istarted working in health care
and and I said, yeah, person hasa history of drinking, they
(08:27):
have dementia.
And I remember a nurse wassaying no, no, absolutely not.
Just stay away.
Stay away because that personis going to turn on you in a
second and they're not going toknow why.
And it's because, yeah, becausethey just lose all regulation
of you know, anger control andthat sort of stuff.
So, and that's a wholedifferent type of dementia, a
Lewy body dementia, and that'swhat scares a daylight self
(08:50):
provider so much so we've had afair share of those.
I'm surprised.
I'm surprised she doesn't,because I mean I love my mom to
death but she for 20 years shehad a diet of Miller Light and
Jujubes right, that was her diet.
You know, and like you wouldfind like jujubes, like in her
(09:10):
house.
We find jujubes like all overthe place still and it's been
like you know years.
Right, you know it's like likemy goodness now like miller
light, I mean that's like really.
I mean I don't know if youcould really count that as beer.
It's not the strongest.
But to continuously like you'llbe drinking like you know a
couple and stuff like that.
And you know, you know, a nightI didn't like really think that
(09:31):
like whatever was like aproblem or anything.
Until like, until I had afriend of mine over, I was a
little kid and, um, my, my bestfriend, whole world, and his
first night.
He comes over and spends thenight and he goes back home.
We're hanging out the next dayand he says I have some
questions about your family.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
I was like well, what is it?
Speaker 2 (09:50):
He's like well, I don't think they're alcoholics,
but they do drink a lot.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
I was like really it's a light beer.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
I was like what's it going to be?
It's like you know, and it'skind of like I was talking to my
sister like a little while ago.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
It was just like yeah , we yeah, our parents.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
I drink like a lot, like I don't know if they were,
but you know my mom definitelyis, you know, having some of the
issues with it, you knownowadays and stuff especially
with type 2 diabetes and her,her dementia.
So yeah, it was like it madesome for some, for some
interesting moments.
But yeah, we'll still, we'llfind candy in the house for for
(10:32):
ages.
I'm pretty sure whoever ownsthis house next is gonna have
like, gonna find like randomboxes of jujubes hidden, stashed
away it's like it will be adelayed easter egg hunt, or like
a treasure finder or whoever.
And the crazy thing is theystopped making those like years
ago.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
It's like they're like this they may not even know
what it is they're like.
What is this?
Speaker 2 (10:55):
thing.
Is it pet food?
Is it goldfish?
Speaker 1 (10:59):
Yeah Right, what symptoms did your mom display to
let you or what other familymembers say think that she
needed medical intervention?
Ok, this is not just mom actinga little wonky or a little
quirky from her Miller light andher juju bees.
(11:20):
This is something more serious.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Yeah, well, I was taking place and we were taking
care of my dad, right, and westarted to notice that she was
like you know, she's payingattention to my dad.
My dad had cancer.
My dad had liver cancer.
There's a clad skin tumor.
I mean he's going to die.
I mean it's, you know, it's justhe put up like a hell of a
fight, but you know, but she waslike so involved in that and
(11:51):
she really wasn't even liketaking care of herself at all
and, um, and mind you, shedidn't really take care of
herself beforehand.
Um, and so that that reallykind of like accelerate
everything, the stress anddealing with all that, um, your
body just isn't going to hold upto it.
Very well, and you know, andshe was, you know she was
forgetting things.
You know, she was like you knowleaving, you know it's, you
know not one thing.
Like you know leaving the stoveon, but it know leaving, you
know is you know not one thinglike you know leaving the stove
on, but it's nothing entirely.
(12:12):
Like you know forgetting how todrive a car and you know, and
nearly running somebody over whowas my son at the time, and
then that's kind of like how wejerked the keys away.
We're like, yeah, no, that's,you don't get to drive anymore.
Or just like not payingattention to the speed limit,
like at all, you know, to thespeed limit, like at all.
It's like when you're loadingup in a car and mom's assisting
(12:33):
on driving and stuff like that,and you're positioning everybody
in a car and basically on whoyou love the most, right, the
ones that really care about itare going to sit in the back.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
Well, you didn't clean up the rest.
Go ahead and sit next to momall right.
Keep the window down so you canjump out, just in case you need
to tuck it all.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
You want one hand up and you don't have the other one
on the seat belt, in case youhave to jump exactly?
Speaker 1 (13:05):
did she realize?
Go ahead, no, no.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
No, no, she didn't, no, she didn't realize it was
going on.
You don't?
You don't really I mean cause,you know, and and and once and
once.
Once individuals do realizeit's usually too late.
She, she, we were watching, wewere watching Braveheart.
One time my mom's from Scotland.
She was from Glasgow, right,but she was like she's.
She would spend like four hoursin Scotland, you know, but she
(13:31):
considers herself Scottish youknow, and she grew up in
Scotland Four hours.
That's funny, literally likeyeah, yeah, like she popped out,
they got onto a plane.
They were like in the airportand then they left right I mean,
or boat, whatever they took,because it was like the 40s,
right, and so the um.
(13:53):
So we're watching braveheart,which is I mean, my mom it
treats it as a comedy um,because it's not like really
factually accurate, like at all.
It's like not close.
And but there's one scene mymom's from glasgow and she's
always been very proud ofglasgow and there's like a rival
city called Edinburgh inScotland.
That's kind of like the NewYork versus Boston type of
(14:16):
rivalry, right, and my mom andsister and it says in a cute
little like dementia starting tokick in voice oh, they filmed
it on location, like when theywere showing like Edinburgh, and
it's like, you know, it's likethey're all like wearing kilts
and it's like mud and it's likeyou know, the 13th century, but
yeah, she can recognize it as itbeing Edinburgh, like nothing
(14:40):
ever changed.
And we just like I mean she waslike very like sweet about it,
but we just everyone's like Ijust busted out laughing at it.
You know, it's like it waspretty, it was pretty good.
So you get like those kind oflike moments.
But you know, it was like we'renot like quite connected, but
those are that's kind of like atale, like okay, like we're
we're not putting the piecestogether here and that sort of
stuff.
So it was it's.
(15:03):
It has to be a lot of Hopefully.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
That's good dry humor .
I think David Letterman wouldhave appreciated that comment.
Absolutely, absolutely.
How many years?
Speaker 2 (15:20):
since her diagnosis.
About five, about five years.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
Yeah, and we really worked pretty hard to get her
sugar intake under control.
Grocery shopping is fun withher.
Let me tell you, you are thedevil.
She wants to buy every singlecandy, that there is every
single alcohol.
Now she's in a community.
They're like, well, they let mehave alcohol and drink whatever
(15:44):
I want in the community.
I'm like, no, they fuckingdon't.
No, they don't like, trust meon this one.
Like they're just giving yougrape juice, mom, or cranberry
juice, okay.
It's like no, no, that's likenot happening, of course.
It's like and then?
And then you'll find likethere's like, yeah, they'll have
(16:04):
, like people like stashed awaybeer, because they do just like
like in alfs, they will servealcohol, you know, because I
mean, they want to be like, youknow, fun like that, but they're
not supposed to give it toeverybody.
And she's like on that list,like absolutely do not, because
she will start dancing on tables.
Um, yeah, don't do that.
Yeah, she's, she is, she is theparty.
Um, she has to have theattention and that's the other
(16:26):
thing like dimension, those,those types of behaviors can
really start to come out more.
Um, if, if your loved one waslike a little bit manipulative
beforehand, that's gonna reallykind of kick into high gear.
They're really gonna be moreand more manipulative as it
progresses.
You know, my mom's my mom'salways trying to pull something
between me and my sister likeall the time.
(16:48):
It's just like she's our mom.
So are you awful children?
We're gonna.
How could you do this?
You're the worst people ever.
I'm like like, are you kidding?
Speaker 1 (17:03):
like seriously, like, like, like I like I don't get
it Are you and your sister,typically on the same page with
your mom's care.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
Oh, absolutely Same page, same medication, same
alcohol, same everything.
Yeah, we match really good.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
It doesn't always happen that way it's just like.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
It's just like it is you have a parenting up, right,
you can't, you can't.
You and your spouse have to beon the same page with your
children, right?
Well, you and your siblingshave to be on the same page.
Your parents, because,especially my mom, because she's
like pretty manipulative, shewill twist it, she tries to pit
us against each other.
Like are you kidding me?
(17:53):
Like how messed up is that?
Like you know, and so likethere'll be times where she's
like she's only talking to likeone of us.
On top of that, you know.
So like, right now, I'm the badchild.
Like what the hell did I do?
Speaker 1 (18:10):
Will she tell you that she's upset with you, or
does she only let your sisterknow?
Speaker 2 (18:14):
usually only tells the other, only tells the other
one.
And the thing is, you want toknow what it is that I got to be
the bad one for?
Speaker 1 (18:26):
usually in this case yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
so my, we have my mom , like has her like credit cards
still and that sort of stuff,and she was spending a lot and,
um, you know, that's, you'regonna, you're gonna, you're
gonna spend yourself down.
You know, really quickly,that's not an option we really
want.
So we it wasn't even like adiscussion, it was just like
(18:48):
we're going to take the creditcards away.
My sister took the credit cardsaway and we give her a bank
card.
That could be you could addvalue to it, ok, you could put
like cash on it, whatever, sothat could cover her needs and
so she doesn't end up broke.
And the and my mom got likelike furious at my sister for
that at first, but then turnedit towards us when I, when I was
(19:13):
talking to my mom and justtotally I said no, that's
exactly what it was, becausegive you, give you a week and
you would be flat broke becauseyou buy like everything like
like.
And that happens too, like youknow, because you're trying to.
Sometimes people are trying tofill in, like you know, sort of
like a loss, like you know sortof like a loss, or like you know
some sort of like connectionthat they're looking for and you
(19:33):
know you get that instantgratification when you buy
something, right?
So you know you'll see peoplebuy things a lot.
You know, my mom was like that.
We had a case where it was likethat was at the hospital and the
guy had like freaking AmazonPrime boxes throughout his room
because he'd been ordering shiton Amazon.
He, he or he'd been in thehospital for so long.
(19:56):
The guy ordered a Roomba.
The guy ordered a Roomba and hehad the.
The Roomba was like goingaround the hospital.
I was like that's really kindof cool.
You guys have a Roomba in here.
They're like no, the patientordered that.
He's like and I get up to himand he's like yeah, I felt like
it should have helped tidy upthe place.
You're kidding me, dude?
He'd been there for so long.
You know it was like you go inthere.
(20:18):
It was like you know, there'sprobably about 60 Amazon boxes
that hadn't even been opened yet, right?
And he's trying to like yeah,he's a dementia guy, but he's
just trying to feel that needyou know?
Kind of like, oh, you gotsomething.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
No one stopped him Like a nurse.
Well, I guess for the room.
But they were like, hey, thisis benefiting us.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
The CFO's probably like wow, we're saving labor
hours here.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
thanks, Absolutely.
Let's talk about your company.
Let's talk a little bit aboutyour company.
You have um a special expertisebecause, yes, you're in health
care.
That is a broad, broad umbrella.
You actually let me, let me seeif I can um get it right,
(21:07):
because it sounds really cool tome, but I'm going to say it in
very casual terms.
Just think of whatever.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
It's fine, I'll agree with it.
Go for it.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
Feed unicorns and help caregivers sleep at night.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
If I do, I tuck them in.
I tuck them in, it's just.
You want to have them pointingthe other way?
Yeah, because the poop sparklesand therefore don't really I
tuck him in.
Speaker 1 (21:29):
Yeah, it's just you want to have them pointing the
other way, right yeah, becausethe poop sparkles and therefore
don't really but you yourcompany assist hospitals with a
patient after they leave thehospital.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
So upon In order to actually in order to get them
out.
So they're stuck in thehospital, no one's taking them,
the family's given up, they'reexhausted, right, and they're at
their wit's end.
Or there's needs that thepatient has that the community
(22:10):
can't address, they can't, theycan't match it.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
Right.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
In steps, tim, because a family, there's a
patient and they don't knowwhether they should be going to
rehab or a nursing home or theyshould go home, or if there is a
home and there there's not afamily or some person who's
healthy enough to come andactually pick them up.
(22:38):
Think about how many of uswould never have crossed that
journey of saying like I've beenin the hospital I've had nine
surgeries and I've been in thehospital a lot of other times
I've never had to wonder who wascoming to pick me up or if I
(23:01):
had a place to go and recover.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
That's what I mean.
It's like if you think about it, if you're the patient.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
It's pretty shitty, right.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
I mean, it's like you're like, like nobody cares,
like, think about if you're thepatient.
It's pretty shitty right.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
I mean, it's like you're like like there's no,
like nobody cares, like you know, you're like what the hell you
know?
And and will it be like a?
So you have like skillednursing, right, and that's like
you're going to go into there,and so skilled nursing, nursing
homes are basically the samething, and you're going to get
rehab for a brief period of time, and you may end up being a
resident there.
That's the last option that wewant, because it's the most
(23:31):
expensive and the quality oflife is pretty low.
And then you have like assistedliving.
It's basically a landlockedparty ship for seniors, but you
can get some rehab and that sortof stuff going on with them.
But really, the best option,though, is always for the person
to return home to a point,right, and that's what we try to
(23:53):
look to set up too, but youknow, for more and more folks,
they just don't have that.
They just don't have thatsocial support, they don't have
that family support, or thefamily just doesn't know what to
do next, and they drained alltheir resources or their
availability.
They've totally broken.
They're like, just whatever, wedon't care, I've sent them out
(24:14):
of state.
That's fine, which really sucks.
So we try to work with familiesand the patients to well, the
hospitals, to get these issuesmitigated so that we can get the
show on the road, because youdon't want to be in a hospital.
After you've been in a hospitalfor 20 days, nothing good is
going to happen.
It's impossible.
(24:37):
You're not like nothing's goingto happen.
We've seen like the craziestshit we saw, like beds, like
literally, like just like randomthings that we saw like a bed
like flip on a patient one time,like, like, really like that.
Yeah, it broke the patient'sspine right and it wasn't.
It wasn't anything.
We've seen like, yeah, like,like, just like crazy, like
actual, genuinely like crazyshit.
But we also seen like whatwe're staff or is like you know,
(25:01):
you're putting a burden on thehospital to continue to bring I
mean to to get, provide carejust for that hospital and turn
on the lights for your room at$800.
Right.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
It's like the shittiest hotel ever, right?
Speaker 2 (25:21):
I mean it is it's like well.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
No rooftop bar, cream corn and ginger ale what have
been?
Speaker 2 (25:29):
The bar is crap.
The bar is crap.
The bar is crap.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
The valet sucks.
They don't ever really knowwhere your car is.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
Lost my car, totally lost.
Oh yeah, I lost the patient'scar one time.
I ended up at another hospitalwhat that's a different?
And ended up at anotherhospital.
What that was a different story, different story another day.
Oh yeah, this guy ended up atanother hospital.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
What has been one of the more challenging cases for
you.
Give us an example of achallenging case, because I got
to tell you the majority of mylisteners or my viewers they are
family caregivers for a lovedone, so they are individuals who
(26:23):
have taken on theresponsibility or are seriously
considering it.
So they are not the individualswho have tapped out quite yet,
but it doesn't mean that theymay not reach the end of their
rope, so they may need to havethis information and or pass it
(26:46):
along to someone else.
So this is kind of I want to beable to.
I want individuals to have theknowledge to say, hey, if I'm at
my wit's end, because the onething I think about is this Tim,
yes, the first thing is for adementia patient or anyone to be
able to live and recover athome right, but if, for some
(27:11):
reason, you can't provide safeand adequate care, don't bring
the person home.
Don't bring them home and abusethem or neglect them.
So it's better to be in touchwith someone like yourself and
your company.
So give us, please, an exampleof when you should like, an
(27:42):
example of a case that is.
Speaker 2 (27:45):
Perfect for you.
That's what I think I mean.
Yeah, well, so we want to avoidme being called?
Ok, we don't want me beingcalled because there's there's.
It's never a good situation.
So what we want to do?
Um, when we have it doesn'tmatter if your loved one has
dementia or Alzheimer's or not.
Um, let's get a decision maker,a legal decision maker, in
(28:06):
place sooner rather than later.
Um, it doesn't matter if you'remarried or whatever.
Make sure there's a documentthat says this is who my
decision maker is going to be.
Right, so you have a power ofattorney, a durable power of
attorney, ideally, and you canget these done.
Actually, the healthier you are, the cheaper it is, and I would
do this with an attorney.
The other thing is you're goingto want to look into a trust.
(28:28):
I don't care if you make $700 amonth on Social Security or if
you make $7,000 a month onSocial Security.
You're going to want to look ata potential for there to be a
trust involved in this.
What do you need for a trust?
And then the other thing isyou're going to look at your
state's requirements forMedicaid, because, at the end of
the day, if you have a trust,you have a power of attorney and
(28:51):
if you have a plan to get ontoMedicaid, that means that
there's going to be a long-termcare payer for you and we're not
going to be burdening thefamily right, or you're, or
you're not going to be burdenedby your loved one when they need
, when they need this assistancebecause we got it, we got a
payer.
And if I'm a company I used to,I used to oversee skilled
nursing facilities I would muchrather get paid by the state,
(29:15):
even though it's going to beless than a private pay, than by
an individual who I have to sitthere and bill and chase down
every single month for the rent.
I would rather be paid by stateand say it's on time, I know
exactly how much it's going tobe.
You know so that those are thethings we want to try to do to
kind of avoid.
So our toughest case, case everand it wasn't like somebody who
(29:37):
had like a criminal backgroundor you know, or as a vent
dialysis patient or this, likehuge, massive clinical
complexity it was this 60 someodd year old lady.
She's not even 65 yet.
She has, she has a little bitof a bipolar issue, and you know
(29:58):
she's, she's married and hassome kids, right, the kids are
quite ready to take care of her.
They're not quite old enough.
And the husband's a little bitworn down, right, and he's.
We later found out he wasfreaking over it, dude.
It was like he.
He went awol, he was nowhere.
He found that was part of it,right.
So, like, we're trying to reachout and communicate with this
(30:19):
guy and he's not.
He's not following up with us.
So, okay.
So we gotta like figure outwho's gonna pay for this,
because there's no.
She's in a hospital.
There's no reason to keep herin a hospital and there's
nothing for the hospital for todo, and there's meaning that
medicare isn't going to pay forher stay in a nursing home
afterwards.
You have to have a reason to bein a nursing home.
Besides, there's no other placefor you to go.
(30:39):
You have to have, like she'sgoing to go work on her hip or
whatever is.
I meet this lady like in person,because I show up and the nurse
like sits there and says to meshe's like, um, and she's been
there.
She's like one of those nursesthat's been there like a while.
She's like don't fall in love,like what.
So there's something I'mmissing here, right?
(31:00):
You know I kind of like lookthrough the meds and that sort
of stuff Nothing crazy.
You know.
There's like there's no, likehow it all?
Sarah Quill or anything likethat.
She hasn't been restrained orthat I go.
Now we sit there, we have thislovely conversation for this
lady, sweetest lady in the world, right, I'm like this is going
to be freaking easy.
Like what's the big deal?
She's been denied by a lot ofplaces.
(31:20):
Yeah, that's fine because herpayer is not great, but we got
the payment situation squaredaway, you know.
And once we did get theinformation from.
The kids were able to help usget the information for Medicaid
.
We were able to get into abuilding, right, because now the
building knows they're going toget paid and so she gets
transferred.
I should have kind of realizedthat something was up when the
(31:41):
hospital transferred her late atnight, right.
So the hospital transferred herafter dinner hours, right.
So that's usually like okay,that's not a good sign.
The hospital wants her out forsome reason and she gets to the
new facility and I get a callfrom that facility about two
o'clock in the morning and uh,which is really uncommon and uh,
(32:03):
and they're not that far away.
They're, they're only likeabout 30 minutes away.
So like like, well, I'll justI'll go there and check it out,
see what's going on.
She's running around naked withher soil filled diaper, going
like this in the hallways andthat sort of stuff.
And so the hospital, I like,left off some information about
(32:24):
her medications.
Family wasn't really toowilling to share that
information with the hospitaleither.
The hospital sort of discoveredit.
I get to her room and she has.
She had taken her soil diaperand spelled out h-e-l-l in there
and I said she misspelled helloand she's just like, I mean
(32:50):
she's screaming up and down thehallway like a banshee and stuff
like that, you know.
And so eventually we get you geta primary care physician in and
we talked to them about theadvantages of the Heldol patch
that's going to last a month forher and get her settled down a
little bit.
But the fact that there was nocommunication between the family
and the hospital that was thatwas made things very challenging
(33:15):
.
Had the family and the hospitalbeen communicating, that would
have been.
That would have helped out alot and especially if you ever
have to go to hospital, yourbest friend it's not the nurse,
it's not the physician, it's notthe freaking CFO or whoever is.
That's going to be a niceperson to know.
They might pick up your lunchbill, but it's actually.
(33:35):
It's that case manager, right,and and that's the person who's
coordinating all the care.
That that's that's been goingon both inside the hospital for
your loved one and outside thehospital.
That's the person you need tobe up with, friends with okay,
hold on, tim, you got.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
Come on, timothy, you got it.
You said you gave us a mouthfulhere and you got to talk really
slow for those of us who justfinished first grade.
Case manager where do we evenfind the case manager?
How do we get to him?
Who do we ask?
Speaker 2 (34:10):
yeah, there is this magical person.
Yeah, there is this magicalperson.
Yeah, there is this magicalperson in the hospital.
Speaker 1 (34:16):
When do we go and get this case manager person?
Speaker 2 (34:20):
In the ER?
Right, they are in the ER andthat person is actually really
is the decision maker on whetheror not you get admitted into
the hospital or not.
It is the case manager.
The physicians can have input.
The physicians can say, yeah,we're going to order therapy for
(34:41):
this individual, but it'sreally, it's the case manager.
That's the person you need onyour side more than anyone.
You need and you need to workwith that person.
So that person is like themovie producer Everybody else,
of course, your loved one is thestar of the movie, but you
doctors are the differentdirectors, the nurses are the
writers and that sort of stuff,right, but the producer of the
film that's going to be yourcase manager and that's going to
(35:02):
change from position in thehospital to position in the
hospital.
So the ER case manager is goingto be different than the ICU or
the med surge case manager andso forth.
Those are all different casemanagers, but those are the
people generally.
Those are.
They're different people, butthat's the person you need to
know, um, you know, and that'sthe person you need to be on the
(35:24):
same page with.
You know, it's usually a verystressed out individual.
They're usually hiding in acorner around the nurse's
station, shrouded in darkness.
They're stressed out.
They've usually had about sixpeople yell at them just before
they've spoken to you.
They just took turns like allyelling at them.
(35:47):
The reality of it is, thoughwithout case management and
central services, the hospitaldoes not operate.
There's't, there's no reason.
They're just.
It's just a big building.
They organize all this, allthis pandemonium, and get your
loved one out, and that personhas, like, the final say.
And really, in what type ofcare they're going to get
(36:07):
outside the hospital?
At least they have the finalsay on the hospital side.
So that's your best friend.
Yeah, bring that person, yourbest friend.
Yeah, bring that person.
You know alcohol.
They're usually good withchocolate.
They're usually good with pens,all those types of things.
Right, barter with them.
You know, because you don't, Imean, you don't want to talk to
(36:31):
you know the 20-year-old nursewho, just you know, broke up
with their boyfriend thatthey've been dating for 10
minutes.
That person's not going to tellyou, um, you know what's going
on with your mom.
Speaker 1 (36:41):
They don't know.
Speaker 2 (36:43):
Yeah, sorry, sorry.
They're really smart, thoughthey are like wicked smart.
They know everything.
Speaker 1 (36:49):
They're really smart and they have a lot of energy.
They have a lot of energy, butit doesn't mean that they're
going to get what you need.
So that is, that is oh, man.
Speaker 2 (37:07):
Go ahead, patients they need to see, and then they
got to move on right, becausethey got to either go visit
patients somewhere else back attheir office or whatever.
They got too much.
This isn't their job.
They're like, yeah, okay, I canorder those meds.
Okay, next, next, let's go.
It really is, it's an assemblyline for them.
(37:31):
Case management is the one thatis really kind of getting
things down to the minute.
Speaker 1 (37:37):
Well, Tim, this has been fascinating and informative
and funny at times, even thoughI know it may have been some
hardships it's so messed up.
Oh, I'll never forget, I'llnever forget that, lady
(38:07):
Hardships along the way, butsome really silly stuff service
area and or how they find acompany like yours, depending on
what state or what country theymay be in, how they make sure
that they're covered.
Speaker 2 (38:24):
Yeah, so we are national.
Our company is ATP Healthcare.
We work with a lot of healthsystems already, primarily in
Florida, georgia, california,texas right now.
But you can ask your casemanager if they have placement
specialists and there areplacement companies that do this
(38:50):
and they receive a fee from anassisted living company for
referring your loved one totheir community.
That's not how we operate,because we essentially those
individuals.
We're seeing them as being soldto the highest bidder.
We are actually hired by eitherthe hospital, the insurance
company or the family and wework with them for six-month
(39:12):
period blocks on the transitionfor their loved one, and so we
stay with that family for sixmonths.
But what I kind of explainedearlier about making sure that
the power of attorney, that sortof stuff's in place, that we've
looked into Medicaid, a trust,those things are really kind of
key.
You need to get those set up andyou don't need somebody like me
(39:35):
to do that.
And once you do that, then thenyou're, then then you're halfway
there.
Okay, if you have a clinicalissue or a criminal background
or something like that, that's,you know, that's more the type
of individual we work with onprivate, privately, you know.
So that's that's not a problemeither, um, but yeah, the best
(39:56):
way is just contact us throughatbhealthcarecom on our website
and you just fill out a form.
Uh, it keeps you pretty privateand you can share information
with us that way on how you wantto be contacted, um, you know,
or you can reach out to usdirectly on our phone.
That's also on the, on the uh,on the website too.
On the website too, we areworking on a chat bot for the
(40:19):
website and which you will justbe able to.
Hopefully, in the next fewmonths it'll be up and where
you'll just be able to ask itquestions and it's going to have
a nice little conversation withyou.
We're still working on somebugs on it, but that should be
able to help individuals out.
Speaker 1 (40:36):
Well, this is what I want to say.
You are welcome back anytime.
Thank you so much for the workthat you do, not only as a
caregiver because we are allconnected by soul and spirit and
elbows in this thing, thisjourney of being a family
caregiver but even, by extension, what you do professionally to
(41:00):
make sure that individuals areplaced somewhere If, for some
reason, they don't have a homewhere they can return, the fact
that you do all you can to getthem placed somewhere that is
adequate and safe and sound,that's amazing.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
So thank you very much.
I mean no problem.
I mean if somebody, if somebodycalled you and they ask you for
help, you're supposed to help,Right, yes, Right, it's just.
I mean that's.
I mean that's what it is Right.
So, and someone needs help, soyou just, you just help them.
Fantastic Well you take care.
You take care you do the same.
Speaker 1 (41:43):
All right, hon Bye, let's snuggle up.
Number one type 2 diabetes canpush you into dementia.
Damn it, listen, what the hellis this dementia doing?
(42:03):
To us looks like everything andeverywhere all around.
Everything and everywhere allaround is just ending up at
dementia land Pass.
Go, get $200 and get dementia.
Is that the new game we playingnow?
(42:24):
I remember when Zeddy had thecatastrophic event of my daddy's
death that pushed her LB intoit.
I didn't know that a suddencalamity could cause it.
They were like oh yeah, jaceMelton can.
And now Timothy has let us knowthat his mom's type 2 diabetes
absolutely led to her dementiaand that it's not just her, that
this is a known thing.
(42:45):
They just hadn't let us knownit thing.
They just hadn't let us knownit.
So if you have type twodiabetes, or if you know some
with it, someone with it, blah,blah, blah, please get them to
(43:05):
keep it in check.
Right, like it doesn't have torun amok.
Your type two diabetes can bemanaged.
Please manage it, because youdon't need to go from diabetes
into dementia.
Number two Everyone isn't wanted.
Ah, that's so hard and ugly tosay, but everybody doesn't have
(43:34):
a family or a loved one or aneighbor or a community who
cares, therefore, as a familycaregiver.
You're listening, you'rewatching, watching.
That's hilarious.
You're listening and we'regoing to Watching.
That's hilarious.
You're listening and we'regoing to keep all this in here,
because that's what we do at theParenting Up podcast.
(43:54):
Right, this is the point.
We are human and shit happens,just like that.
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
That Jace Mouse just happenedto do.
You're a part of this village,so you're listening or you're
watching.
You're a part of this village,so you're listening or you're
watching.
So you do care for someone withdementia or some other
(44:19):
debilitating disease, but, man,everybody that is suffering
doesn't have a.
You Give yourself credit forthat.
Give yourself credit for that.
Give yourself credit for caring, even on a bad day, even when
(44:42):
you get the doctor'sappointments incorrect, or maybe
you, oh man, I forgot mom anddad's shoes.
I brought the slippers insteadof the sneakers.
Whatever, I forgot the name ofthe doctor.
Whatever, I forgot to give momher favorite juice.
I gave her water instead, andnow she won't drink anything.
Whatever, I forgot to call backthe insurance company.
You guessed it.
Let me hear it Right.
(45:04):
Whatever, you at least areshowing up and you care Because,
as Timothy, let us know thereare some people who are left in
the hospital and nobody evenshows up to discharge them.
Oh man, but truth be told, thatcould happen to any of us at
(45:30):
any moment in time, because, asmy grandmother, zeddy's mom,
told me over and over again,nobody owes you anything, no one
, not your mama, not your daddy,anything that is ever done for
you.
It is a choice that someonedecided in that moment in time
(46:03):
to care for you.
So, listen, the fact that youchoose to care is a big,
freaking deal.
And if no one told you recentlythank you for, day in and day
out, choosing to care for yourLO, even when you don't want to,
you do it any damn way.
(46:27):
Number three what have you donefor yourself today, not
yesterday, not last week, notlast year, today this day, I
don't care if it was 30 secondsor 30 minutes what have you done
for yourself?
I'm a pause for five secondsand I want you to say it out
(46:50):
loud, wherever you are now, ifyou didn't say anything, boo,
and I want you to do somethingfor yourself before you go to
(47:11):
sleep tonight.
It could be five minutes of acrossword puzzle Watch, five
minutes of a television show orsomething streaming that you
like, a music video, sing a songthat you like, pull the song up
(47:37):
and sing along.
Take a bath, massage your ownfeet with lotion something for
yourself, hell, maybe actuallygo to bed.
If you're a caregiver, justgoing to bed is a big freaking
deal.
Okay, don't let me down.
(48:00):
I'm depending on you to takecare of you.
All right, what's up?
Family?
Share this episode right herewith the caregiver you love.
Review on apple podcast.
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channel.
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