Bridging Gaps: Elevating Early Childhood Education and Parental Involvement

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What if the past experiences of a teacher could illuminate the importance of early childhood education? Join us as we have an engaging conversation with Briel Hurling, an elementary school teacher who has transitioned from being a Teacher in rural Pennsylvania to shaping young minds in an urban charter school in Wilmington, Delaware. Briel shares her distinctive insights on the stark contrasts between rural and urban educational settings, emphasizing the pivotal developmental stage of kindergarten where children grasp basic but essential skills like holding a pencil and using scissors. We also delve into the critical role of preschool education, the disparities it creates among children, and the significant challenges parents face with the cost and availability of these programs.

Brielle shines a light on the power of reading and communication in a child's early years. From the importance of daily reading to children starting in the womb to weaving new words into everyday activities, we outline strategies to build a strong educational foundation at home. We touch on societal challenges, particularly within the Black community, and discuss how parents can partner with teachers to overcome these barriers. Our conversation also covers the essential elements of healthy routines, including adequate sleep and nutrition, that significantly impact a child’s performance and well-being.

Safety in schools is a pressing concern that we tackle head-on, sharing heart-wrenching stories and practical strategies to support children in feeling secure. Briel offers a personal look at the measures taken to protect students during threats, from turning drills into less frightening games to the crucial role of parent-teacher communication in these scenarios. We conclude by touching on the evolving landscape of digital technology and its impact on parenting, setting the stage for our next episode that promises to deliver eye-opening insights on this ever-relevant topic. Join us for an episode packed with valuable advice to empower and support parents in nurturing successful, well-rounded children.

Parents are the Bows and Children are the Arrows they will land wherever we aim them eventually!

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:21):
Thank you, we'll be right back.

(01:40):
We live.
How does that?
Hey everybody, welcome back toParenting with a Purpose.
I am your host, donna Janelle.
And I am your co-host, Pamela,Today we're going to be talking
about education, right?
You know, our job here atParenting with a Purpose is to
bring back the responsibility,nobility and beauty back into
parenting.
As you know, our theme, ourmission here is saying that

(02:02):
parents are the bowls andchildren are arrows.
They will land wherever we sendthem, as long as we equip them,
give them the tools to land, aslong as we don't send the kids
outside butt naked, as long aswe close them, right.
So today, our special guesthere is Brielle Hurley.
She is an elementary schoolteacher.
Welcome to the studio, welcome,thank you.
All right, so, brielle, todaywe're going to be talking about
education and the importance ofparental involvement.

(02:26):
So Bria is going to share herexpertise or insight being an
elementary school teacher.
Some things that I got, somequestions for you tonight Bria.

Speaker 2 (02:51):
So first we're going to start by you.
Just tell us a little bit aboutyourself, you know.
So the audience get to know whoyou are and what you do, and
why you do what you do.
Ok, well, my name is Brielle.
I am a kindergarten teacher inWilmington, delaware, at a local
charter school.
I had a love for children sinceI was younger and I had to ask
God like OK, what is my purpose?
What do you want me to do withthese children?
He gave it to me like you'regoing to be a teacher.

(03:12):
And I was like okay, I wasworking in Pennsylvania for
about four years as a PCApersonal care assistant.
After that I went to the school.
I got hired on as aparaprofessional.
That was like.
God was like you know what?
I'm going to keep you here, butI ain't going to keep you here
too long.
So I was only a parent forthree months and then a
kindergarten teacher positionopened up and I've been a

(03:32):
kindergarten teacher for threeyears now and I absolutely love
what I do.

Speaker 1 (03:38):
All right, you absolutely love what you do.

Speaker 2 (03:41):
Yes, sometimes the transition I want to get into
that real quick um, the rolethat you were in when you were
in PA, what did that consist of?
Um, how did that look like?
What did that look like?
So that was a big difference.
Like when I say fromPennsylvania, I'm talking rural,

(04:05):
rural areas of the horses thatI'm passing by every morning, of
the, the Amish that I'm passingby, like I don't see any of
that now.
Now I'm in the city, so ofcourse the children are
different.
So you have your your childrenwho are coming to school not
sleeping in class, and then youhave the ones that are in the

(04:26):
city which are coming to schoolsleeping in class.

Speaker 1 (04:29):
Oh man, that's a big difference.

Speaker 2 (04:31):
Yeah.
So I had to kind of theadjustment was like very big.
It was like whoa, can I do this, or do I want to go back to
that hour drive, Like sometimesjust like that was your commute,
my commute, every singlemorning.
It took me an hour up and anhour back.

Speaker 1 (04:46):
So yes, wow, that's, that's so.

Speaker 2 (04:49):
You was out there with the mushroom farms and
stuff and then you came to thecity and they wasn't sleeping
okay, you don't know if yourphone gonna have signal or not I
lost signal about two miles outyeah, like that's real serious.

Speaker 1 (05:03):
Yeah, so, um, so what grade you teach now?
Kindergarten, kindergarten, wowso, yeah, like that's real
serious.
So what grade are you teachingat Kindergarten?
Kindergarten, wow, so you gotthose kids that's coming in.
Oh, so you kind of teachingthem how to sit down, how to get
adjusted?
She's at the crucial area, thecrucial age.

Speaker 2 (05:19):
This age is so crucial it's like I am mom and
dad, like I'm teaching thebasics.
They're coming to me notknowing anything when I say
anything, not knowing how totrace, not knowing how to hold a
pencil, not.
So we have to get down and allright.

(05:40):
This is how we do this, this ishow we hold this, this is how
we use the scissors.
This is how we use the glue yes.

Speaker 1 (05:46):
So let me ask you a question.
A lot of the students that comein there have they not had
preschool, so yes, so sometimessome do go to preschool and then
some don't.

Speaker 2 (05:56):
You can tell the ones that do go to preschool because
they come in, knowing theirletter names and their sounds
you can tell the ones that don't, because they don't know how to
trace or they don't know how towalk in a straight line, or
there are certain things thatyou can tell.
I definitely can tell thedifference of if they've been to
preschool and if they haven't.
And of course I'm always askingparents like hey, did they have

(06:18):
a previous preschool experience?
Because if they did, oh, Icould tell yeah, it's important.

Speaker 1 (06:24):
I had a conversation with somebody about them saying
they're not going to put theirchild in preschool because you
know everything that's going onwith schools and you know people
are afraid.
But I was trying to enlightenthem on the social aspect of it
and then also preparing them to.
It's going to be a shock frombeing home with whoever Nana or

(06:45):
whoever and then they go rightto school and they're not even
equipped to be at school becauseit's not like you at home
you're doing what the preschooldo.
You know what I mean?
Some parents are and some, andsome parents aren't.
But we were having aconversation because preschool
is so expensive, right, and it'snot like there's some states
everybody goes to preschool,they don't have to pay for it
yeah, but then we got otherstates, like here in Delaware,

(07:06):
like you pay for preschool.
Some people may go in the hairstore, or some people may even
go into school a little early ifthey have some delays.
However, if you're just anaverage kid and your parents are
paying for these kids to go topreschool, so a lot of people
are opting out of sending theirkids to preschool because they
can't afford it.
But now, when we think about itthough, as we're talking about

(07:29):
it like it's really importantyou're almost doing them a
disservice.

Speaker 2 (07:33):
and, to be honest, speaking on the part where, if
you are just like an average joe, your kid can't because when I
signed my daughter up for headstart, like I, I was denied.
Yeah, and I'm like why am Idenied?
And that's what I'm saying.
So that's the legislation part.

Speaker 1 (07:47):
That's like the state , like when we think about like
first of all, politics is moreimportant than we realize
Because it really affectseveryday living.
You know our local offices andstuff like that, just those who
they think economically like.
You know, absolutely, because Igot all the bills too Like.

(08:09):
You know what I mean.
I got cards and you know housenotes and stuff.
So I think everybody deserves afree education and it shouldn't
be based on what your financialsituation is and unfortunately
a lot of states do not havemoney in their budget for our
children and then when they getin school, then they they just

(08:31):
don't know.

Speaker 2 (08:31):
So you just really and then they suffer their first
years and when you think aboutit, most children get held back
or they, you know.
It shows up between that firstand third grade and it's a big.
So I could say fromkindergarten like they lose it

(08:52):
from after that.
It's like first grade, thensecond grade, then third.
They're like out of it.
It's just like I know I taughtyou how to read when you left.
Why are you not showing theseteachers?
You know how to read.
Like it shocks me so crazy, it'sabsolutely crazy.

Speaker 1 (09:07):
But yeah, well, that brings me to the point of one of
the things I know, one of thethings that we were talking
about in your takeaway is aboutreading, how important.
So let's get into that, becauseyou know we just talked about
from kindergarten to the first,second, third grade, how there
is like something that'sdeficient now because you're
reading here and then now you'renot.
So tell me, tell us howimportant it is for parents,

(09:28):
like what we as parents, becausewe already said, sometimes kids
don't have preschool, right.
So how do we prepare our kidsfor school?
How do we prepare our childrento be successful?
And let's talk about readingfirst of course.

Speaker 2 (09:40):
So reading is fundamental.
I will say that first Readingto your child.
It just opens them up tolistening and hearing and
understanding that letters makewords and words make sentences.

Speaker 1 (09:56):
I'm bringing kindergarten to y'all right,
yeah, yeah, because keep itelementary, let's go.
That's how.

Speaker 2 (10:02):
I say it Like they make words and then words make
sentences and that's how we read.
So I say it's so important tojust read to your child every
single night.
It doesn't even have to be abook.
Having that conversation withyour child when they get home
like, hey, how was your day?
Did anything happen?
How can I help you?
Where can I start?
Like just having a conversationwith them.

(10:23):
It opens up and it broadenstheir vocabulary.
We know that we are labeled asblack people.
You know, don't really likereading, don't put our face to
the books.
So it starts with at home aswell.
Us teachers, we can't do it all, so we ask for a partnership.

(10:46):
You could be in the store andyou see something and your child
might like it and say, hey,this is a toy, or whatever toy
it is.
Have them repeat it after you,just so that they're getting
that vocabulary in them.
When I say reading is soimportant, reading has declined
in the state of Delaware, likeover years now.
So it's just I want to be thatteacher that students come back

(11:09):
and say thank you thank you.
Like you helped my child, youhelped my child to read.
Now they're at the top.
Like they're at the top oftheir class.
Like that's how I want to be so.

Speaker 1 (11:19):
So essentially, what you're saying is that first of
all, I guess in the womb, weneed to start communicating with
our children.
What you're saying is thatfirst of all, I guess in the
womb, we need to startcommunicating with our children.

Speaker 2 (11:26):
Absolutely, because what you're saying here is like
really basic communication.

Speaker 1 (11:29):
Yes, because as they learn how to communicate with us
, then they start understandingand listening to words and then
they start to repeat.
Because kids are sponges,absolutely, and you know, this
is such a crucial age whereeverything they're listening,
they're watching, they'rehearing and they're repeating
everything they they'relistening, they're watching,
they're hearing and they'rerepeating.
Yes, so, even if they don'tunderstand, but they repeat.
But.
But these kids are smart,though they do be understanding,

(11:50):
they are they be understanding,just okay.

Speaker 2 (11:52):
So that's funny that you said that.
So so because of my grandmother, like a while back, and I and
she'll say like oh, these baby,nowadays they're so advanced,
they're so this.
And I was like it's not thatchildren are advanced, it was
that in your time you guys likeput a cap on what babies should
be able to do and say and andthings like that, exposing them

(12:15):
to certain things I said.
And then, even when you talk tothem, you talk to them in this
language it's not baby talk.
And so if, if you will hear alot of babies at that time.
They are saying like goo, googa ga.
But now you hear children sayingreal words and you're like hold
on, no, that's what should havebeen going on if you were
developing that, like you said,in the womb, because it starts

(12:38):
in the womb.
Letting them hear sounds,different sounds, reading to
them, talking to them, lettingthem hear music, introducing it
to them, letting them know thisis what we're about to do With
Victoria.
That's what I did from the timeI found out I was pregnant.
I started doing that from dayone, like playing no games.

(12:58):
I got her signed up withImaginary.
It's the library dolly partonyeah from day one.
When she graduated from it, shewas like disappointed.
When they turn, when you turnfive, they send you like a
certificate and a graduation andletting you know you're
departing from it and theystarted your library for, oh,
she was like heartbroken becauseshe looked forward to going to

(13:19):
the mailbox.
She got to learn what a mailboxwas, from exposing her what a
male man and a male womanactually does for the community,
for the world.
So just starting right there,you're already exposing them to
so much.

Speaker 1 (13:35):
Yeah, and so what I'm hearing is like communication
is the like that's the key toeverything.
Yes, um, I do remember gettinglike natural national
geographics um magazines in mylittle kid, so I just I didn't
know they still did that I didthey just recently started back
they did that with my kids foryounger.
So I saw that I was like, oh,I'm gonna get these for my god
kids, because I that is so coolof that learning animals,

(13:58):
learning like how, history, likeit's so many different topics
and subjects, and I think that,like you said, like reading is
so important and we got it.
Communication, comprehension,like parents are the first
teachers, absolutely firstteacher.
So if they don't get afoundation at home by the time
they get to you and kindergarten, they be high, high, it's a
wrap, it's a wrap, it's a wrap.

Speaker 2 (14:20):
It's not even behind it's, so it's so difficult and
they're suffering yeah yeah andthen it's like so much work put
on us, and then it's like theyexpect us to do everything.
I'm just like no, we, we arehumans too, like we have lives
outside of here too, so it'slike we need you this is a

(14:40):
partnership, that part rightthere.
This is a partnership.

Speaker 1 (14:43):
yeah, that part right there.
This is a partnership Partnerwith us.

Speaker 2 (14:45):
Yeah, I tell that to my parents every day.
Thank you for your partnership.
Thank you for responding to myemails.
Thank you for answering myphone calls.
Thank you for showing up toconferences.
This is a partnership.
You cannot leave this child dryand trying to figure.
Have me and this child figuringit out on our own.

Speaker 1 (15:04):
Right.

Speaker 2 (15:04):
Have you always sent out emails?
Always, I go above and beyondwith my parents.
I probably do way too much, butI just got a message today like
thank you so much, because I'vehad teachers where preschool
teachers where they will onlysend out one memo and then
that's it.
I'm sending out weeklynewsletters.
I'm sending out messages on topof messages.

Speaker 1 (15:26):
I would be tight.
Yeah, I like that.

Speaker 2 (15:28):
That's what I'm saying Make sure that you
understand where we at what'sgoing on what I'm teaching this
week, what I'm teaching nextweek Be on top of the game, Be
ahead of the game, so that way,when they come, they oh my mom
taught me- about that.

Speaker 1 (15:42):
That's what we want.
We want that parentalinvolvement.
We don't want parents to thinkthat they're dropping their kids
off like they had a baby to thehouse or something like that.
You watch my kids while I go towork or do A, b and C.
That's what it is those emails.
I get those emails did you hearthat part I was going to bypass
it you want to do a U-turnScoop, scoop, ma'am.

(16:09):
So you feel that?
No, honestly, because parentsneed to hear this.
It's real talk.
You feel that.
Tell me what you feel just now,because I heard that it is like
a daycare.

Speaker 2 (16:22):
It's like a daycare.

Speaker 1 (16:23):
And why do you feel that way?

Speaker 2 (16:28):
I feel like.
So I know that the childrenthat are in kindergarten now, I
believe this is the last set ofchildren that was born either
during covid or towards like theend of yeah, because there was
20 and we're 24.
So they don't have mucheducation.
They don't have much preschoolbecause just think oh yeah,

(16:52):
they're home Interactions period, so I'm getting them, and they
don't know a thing if theydidn't go to preschool, if
grandma just had them homeeating up cookies and cream and
not teaching them letter A, band C Right While they baking
with them.
Could be introducing it to them.

Speaker 1 (17:12):
Wait, but you know what you brought?
A valid point.
We cannot forget about COVID.
Let's not forget about it.
We cannot forget about theeffects, because we're still
living the effects of COVID.

Speaker 2 (17:23):
That threw a big flag on the planet.

Speaker 1 (17:24):
Yeah, so not only some parents couldn't afford to
already send their kids topreschool, right, but then we
got the parents that could,because schools were online but
preschools were not.
Nope, they were not, probablywasn't even open.
Yeah, they wasn't open theydefinitely wasn't open, wow and
they weren't, so now, okay, soyou're getting like virgin kids.

Speaker 2 (17:47):
This is the last set, so next year it will be back to
normal.
I will have children that havebeen in preschool that know
maybe because not everybody canafford preschool maybe let's go
back to that so all right, so,so all right.

Speaker 1 (17:59):
So let's think about this how do we, how do parents
prepare their children forkindergarten if they have not
had a preschool experience?

Speaker 2 (18:10):
okay.
So if they have not had apreschool experience, I would
say to.
So I know I will start off withat least knowing letter names
and sounds okay that's, that'smy.
That's the biggest thing,because once they come in,
knowing their letter names andsounds, it's so easy to move

(18:30):
from that.
I would say buy as many booksas you can, okay, like load up
on tons and tons of books, evenif they can't read it.
Like every time before I read,we always take a picture walk,
like we always look at thepictures and I'm like, okay,
what do you think is going tohappen?
Like they predict, they make ahypothesis about what the story

(18:53):
is going to be about, and thenthat gives them like the
responsibility of after I'm donereading the book.
They're like, like we said that, like that's what we said.
So they feel so excited.
It's like, dang, I thoughtabout that.
So now I'm just going to startreading more books.
And it makes them want to readwhen they hear that, oh, my mom
just read this or my teacherread this and this is what we

(19:15):
said.
So picture walks are alwaysamazing.
Even if y'all can't read, right, it's amazing.
That's the best thing ever.
Letter Name of Sounds, picturewalk reading to them.
And I would say just get likeworkbooks, like dollar store
workbooks, like they come in.
I have so many dollar storeworkbooks, flashcards.

(19:39):
Just flash them, hang them upin the bathroom while they're
brushing their teeth.
Like start working on sightwords, like the words that we
normally see every single day,like those are things that
parents can do to prepare for akindergarten if they have not
had a preschool experience.
But if they have had apreschool experience, keep up on
it.
So that they don't forget,because you didn't remember.

(20:00):
It's a summer, right, a summeris about a couple months they
lose all that time of what theylearned, yeah, in school.

Speaker 1 (20:07):
You know what I see now, which you know I'm dating
myself because, um, the internetand phones and stuff is all
that I know.
Your eyelashes went all the wayto the back of the ponytail
right there, yeah, so when?
I'm thinking about it.
I mean because, probablybecause pre-internet days I was
alive, um, and.
But what I notice now is thatwhen I'm looking and observing

(20:30):
kids, like wherever they are,they're on electronics, they're
not.
They don't have books in theirhands, they don't like parents.
Parents are bringing, even whenthey come to the doctor's
office, like they're notbringing them stuff like little
puzzles to play with, littlebooks to read.
I'm literally saying everybodyhas electronic in it, even at
that young age, and me as anurse, knowing the implications

(20:52):
of them being that screen timeOne-year-olds be like tearing it
up the screen time really doeschange the synapse in your brain
.
It really does change the brainstructure and function
neurologically.
So I'll be like yo.
I can't believe thisone-year-old is on his phone
like that.

Speaker 2 (21:06):
You know what I love, so go ahead Go ahead what you
guys are.
Chick-fil-a their toys.
Oh yeah, Chick-fil-A, yeah theygive out books, they give out
crafts, they give aboutflashcards and guess what?
The back of the seat.
I don't use that forelectronics, I use that for her
go-to pocket.
Yeah so it's.
I don't leave crayons because inthe in the summer they melt.

(21:31):
They come out.
Yeah, so we have color pencils,many color pencils, and we have
like pens with lids anddifferent kind of notepads,
different kind of books orwhatever it's in the pocket.
I check it from time to time,make sure it's still stuff in
there and different things.
But even my nieces when theyget in my car they're like oh,

(21:51):
forget these ipads.

Speaker 1 (21:52):
They, they throw on them because they're like oh we
what's in?

Speaker 2 (21:55):
what's in?

Speaker 1 (21:55):
the kids want to be stimulated yes, first of all,
whatever you you give them,they're going to use.
So, what you got to say aboutthis, Because I'm telling you
I'll be so frustrated when I seeall these kids, with first of
all these, are computers.

Speaker 2 (22:12):
Let me tell you what I tell my kids every day.
You can do that.

Speaker 1 (22:15):
TikTok thing, but you can't read.

Speaker 2 (22:17):
That part, because that's all they be doing on
TikTok and they be doing thesongs and they know the dances,
the songs, that's how you know,they smart Like they smart.

Speaker 1 (22:27):
But you can't read.
Are they being made to readwhat they only going to do, what
they're exposed to, right?
So that's the thing.
I seen a TikTok, the littlegirl she had to be four years
old did a whole sexy red.
So I don't even listen to sexyred.
I think that's disgusting.
But that's just my personalopinion, you know.
I mean because it ain't evensexy really.
But what I'm just saying ispeople thinking that that's what

(22:54):
the word sex is supposed tolook like right now so um but
the kids, like I seen it, I'm Iwas so hurt that this kid was
singing and all the adults waslike, yeah, yeah, yeah, they was
going singing the water.
I was like, um, yeah, so I, Ican't.

Speaker 2 (23:14):
It's not cute, it's not, and it's just like put on
something educational, even ifit's not educational, like put
on something that you know isgoing to stimulate their mind,
to get them to thinking and tomake them grow and be a better
person all this tiktok and this.
I'm gonna do this and I knowthis song and we're gonna dance

(23:35):
and this.
And watch me do this, like Idon't want to watch you do, I
want to watch you breathe right,yeah, so guess what we do eight
counts I don't know what thatis oh, so in dance you learn by
eight count.
Oh okay, I don't know how todance.
It's eight count 16.
I have no breath.

Speaker 1 (23:50):
No, no, nothing so you're talking about some eight
count.

Speaker 2 (23:53):
I'm in my brain trying to figure out how to
count eight move and count eightgo ahead so you like, you like
make sentences doing eight count, you do a dance like doing
eight count, so you findsomething that your child loves,
you find something that catchestheir attention.
So if you see that these songsare doing that, you put it into
an eight count or put it intosomething that you know will

(24:14):
grab their attention or theinstrumental, like a lot of
everything is beats right, Itell y'all so you can cut the
words yeah, and then you canhave it set up where we're
hearing this.
Okay, you gotta give me asentence or you gotta give me a
word.
Whatever word you give me, I'mgonna spell it you spell it back
.

Speaker 1 (24:32):
I like those teachers I've seen on tiktok, though,
those teachers who actually, Iguess that's what they're doing
they're singing um like theiralphabets or their different
thing to a beat.
Yeah, I get it.
I probably wouldn't have passedwhen I was little because I
ain't got it um so yeah, but forthose who do, they're like,
maybe if they did it when I wasyoung, I probably would have
learned how to have beats by now.

(24:53):
Maybe it would have been beatsby donna janelle, like I don't
know.
But I get I get that and Iunderstand that, um, the
importance of really.
So, basically, in order for ourchildren to be successful,
parental involvement is soimportant, and the key portion
of parental involvement iscommunication.

(25:14):
Yeah, intentional, because wewant to be effective of what
we're doing.
Um, because there's so manythings that you got you teachers
are going through, right, youknow, I thought about, um, one
of the things that, uh, I wastalking to the show last week
but y'all are dealing withbehavioral issues, right,

(25:36):
because we're gonna tap on thatbehavior issues and then it's
hard for you guys to really kindof academics because you're
dealing with the behavior issueson top of it.
I know that the most recent andthe most scary thing is a lot
of these school shootings thatyou guys are dealing with.
We're going to tap into that alittle bit later.
Um, but how, as a parent, like,our job is to make sure that

(25:58):
that you guys are able to teachour kids, so that starts at home
.
So I, like when you said, thefoundation is like reading to
your kids, communicate with yourkids, be intentional, don't sit
your kids in front of the TV.
Yep, you don't know.
Yo, some of this stuff I don'teven.
I don't even be watching TV,you know why?
Cause I'm like I can't that yougot this on this tv, like the

(26:23):
commercials, like everything.
And even if you're streamingnow, because before, when we had
regular cable, they would putany, everything on there.
But even now streaming, it'slike if you got money to uh
advertise, you can go anywhere.
Even now streaming has evenjust been.
You can't even filter as muchas you wanted to be streaming.
So you can't leave the up toyour kids with these devices
because we don't know what theywatching what they learning,

(26:44):
what they watching, but alsowhat they hearing.

Speaker 2 (26:46):
So, parents, watch what you say around your kids,
cause they go and come back andthey going to tell us and they
going to tell us the real stuff?

Speaker 1 (26:53):
What they be saying.

Speaker 2 (26:57):
My mom went to the, the where To the bar.
Oh okay, they can tell you thatstory better than they can tell
you three little pigs.

Speaker 1 (27:09):
Oh, that part Fly on a fly.
So we really got to beintentional of how, because I
really believe, like, I feellike the societal issues that we
have stem from non-effectiveparents.

Speaker 2 (27:22):
Absolutely, and that's where behaviors come from
as well.
Like I remember, I shared astory before.
It was like Victoria was havingan issue with another little
girl because basically she couldsee, like your parents are
showing up Not just your mom,but your dad and you got
grandparents, godparents you gotall these different are showing
up, not just your mom, but yourdad.
Then you got a grandparents,godparents you got all these

(27:43):
different people showing up foryou and I don't got nobody
showing up for me right.

Speaker 1 (27:49):
So they have anger and then that's how bullying
happened and people tease kidswho parents don't show up.
Like parents, y'all don't showup.
Oh, your mom ain't nothing, sheain't never.
I'm hearing some stuff likeI've never heard when I was
younger, like they bully thesekids for parents and not being
involved.
Yeah, like it's crazy.
So tell us what else um?
I know we talk aboutcommunication.

(28:10):
How about um routine andschedules like how important is
that um for our children to besuccessful?

Speaker 2 (28:17):
yeah.
So I know at the beginning ofthe show we talked about getting
enough sleep.
So I know that some kids havelike afterschool extracurricular
activities, or parents willmake them go to afterschool and
make them stay until six o'clockbecause they need their time,
like I get that.
But also make sure that youhave like a definite routine

(28:38):
schedule when you get home, likeokay, if you know when you get
home you gotta cook, have thatbaby going, getting in the
shower or in the bathtub, likeknocking two birds out in one
stone, because it's just like it.
The longer you take to get themto go to sleep, the longer they
it's going to take them longerto go to sleep right so it's
like make sure that they getenough sleep, make sure that

(29:01):
they get a healthy meal at home,a nice dinner when they wake up
in the morning, a goodbreakfast.
It's that stuff matters becauseit's just like when they come
to us, some of them don't getthat and I now have to be the
one to tend to their needs, ortend to their whining, or tend
to them saying I'm hungry, Idon't have any pain because it's

(29:22):
like, yeah, they miss out on somuch.
And it hurts me because I'm like, well, dang, like I wish I had
like a little bucket I couldright pass out some granola bars
or something but like that'show they come to school, someone
be like I didn't, I didn't eator I don't, you know, and it's
not just where I'm at, it'severywhere, it's everywhere I
think parents aren't attentionalenough.

Speaker 1 (29:43):
I really believe so I really think that parents don't
understand the purpose inparenting, like we're raising,
uh, children to be successful,right, so whatever success looks
like in your household, and Ithink that they don't understand
the foundational things.
Like you know, they a lot oftimes, a lot of parents, are
back to the old thing of food,clothes and shelter, right,
they're not attending to thesechildren emotional needs, um,

(30:05):
mental stability, and even am Igetting a nutrition meal because
you can?
I was gonna say you can say youfed your kid and you fed them
pure junk.
I just have one of my ownfriends as a preschool uh,
teacher, right director,actually she owns her own and I
literally just wrote a letterfor her about the dangers of
oodles and noodles.
We're talking about preschool,so I literally had put in the

(30:27):
danger of it, the choke, thehazardous, and also the
nutrition part of it, because alot of parents are bringing
their kids oodles and noodles toeat.
First of all, they destroy thetexture of everything, they
choke halfway about to die andwe gotta do cpr on your kid, you
know.
I mean.
So just educate, I thinkeducating parents to understand
what nutrition is, what it, whatis a balanced meal, what is

(30:49):
balanced.
Um time I know, growing up,raising my kids, a lot of people
looked at me like I was crazyand I was so strict.
I wasn't a strict mom, but whatI knew is that I only have a
certain amount of wake hours,alert and oriented hours with my
kids because, think about it,if we, if we wake them up in the
morning six o'clock or whateversay, you say wake them up at

(31:09):
six because maybe you got to beto work at eight or whatever you
drop them off at before cure,right, yeah, so like in the
morning you're rushing up likeeat this.
Or if you're saying eat this,you know here's a pop tart, or
something like that.
You get them together, you sendthem to pre uh, before care,
which they're running around,they're not doing much, or
whatever they done, ran that poptart off.
So then they go into school.

(31:30):
They're in school eight hours,right, and then they're jump on
the bus to get back home, orhowever they get back home, or
after school programs.
So wait, because most a lot ofparents are sending them to
after school programs right.
So after school programs?
Some of them are not, some ofthem are babysitters.
Some of them are not actuallygeared to go over the homework
to do different things, right?
So then you have that.

(31:50):
So then, by the time you getyour kid back home, it's about
six o'clock, right?
Six, six, 30.
And then you're throwingwhatever it is for them to eat.
They're sitting in front of theTV, or you might have them sit
and read by themselves or dotheir homework by themselves,
and they still don't have a cluewhat they're supposed to be
doing, right?
So, if you, and then you sitthem in front of the TV, right,
and then it's bedtime.
Now, those hours are soimportant when they're alert or

(32:15):
in the wake, because most of thetime our kids are asleep.
When we have them like, whatare we giving them while they
sleep?
So I used to, like my people,my kids, didn't watch any tv
during the week.
They it was like, yeah, oh, youwere straight, but it was.
My kids didn't watch, they wereat bed at 7 30, let me tell you

(32:35):
7, 30.
Yeah, no flags.
So this is how my this is myroutine I know pause on the
plate.

Speaker 2 (32:40):
You're like wait a minute.
What job you had hold on theywould come.

Speaker 1 (32:44):
They would get home from school, right?
Well, I already had theirdinner prepared, so it was
either a crock pot or somethinglike our all.
First planning is so important,so I already had a schedule.
This is what we're going to do.
So when they come home, they'redoing their school work.
Um, the dinner is already there, so they eat dinner.
We sit around and we have aconversation about school.
Eat dinner, okay now showertime.

(33:06):
Get your shower time right.
One's in the shower, I'mtalking to the other.
I have four kids so I'msplitting my time, whatever.
So by the time they finishtheir shower they come
downstairs.
It's about seven o'clock now,everything seven o'clock.
So now we're doing puzzles,we're doing games, we're doing a
lot of other stimulating stuff.
No tv at all.
So 7 30 they're in bed andthey're knocked out because they

(33:27):
had a long day at school andthey did stuff.
So when they wake up in themorning they're not cranky,
they're not fussy or whatever,because they had that time and
they didn't get filled with somuch junk in their brain before
they went to lay down.
A lot of times we're puttingthese kids in front of screens,
so their brain- is running andrunning so to the point where my
daughter, my oldest, who's 25now when she went to college,

(33:49):
you know, her biggest problemwas she couldn't stay awake.
She was so used to going to bedat 7 30 unless she had like in
a, like a lot of after-schoolstuff.
But when, even when she had theafter school stuff, like she
came shower, it's time to go tobed.
So her biggest challenge incollege was she was on a
governor board and stuff likethat and those meetings were at

(34:10):
nine or 10 o'clock at night.
While she was in college shesaid, mom, I can't stay awake
because she had the routine somuch and it was crazy because
all the people that was in thedorms and stuff they would watch
the tv, they was on.
She just her brain has alreadydeveloped all these years of not
sitting down and just watchingtv, so that was the biggest
challenge for her.
I said, well, if that's thebiggest challenge for her in

(34:30):
college, I'm okay with thatright um so even now my kids are
16 and 18, like they reallythat my the one that tested my
end against her.
She.
They really shut down earlybecause of the routine they
learned and I cause I found likeif I have these little bit of
wake hours I need to be able topour as much as possible in Dang
Donna, you make me feel big.

Speaker 2 (34:52):
My sister-in-law too, because um brother and his lady
that like my niece and nephew,they been on a schedule like I
promise it's in the womb I'mtelling you.
I know like Victoria would wakeup at a certain time when I was
pregnant and then like, like shewould try to be up in the

(35:13):
middle of the morning.
Well, like she never had thatissue.
Like my sister-in-law, shenever had that issue.
And like, still to this day,like my niece and nephew, they,
they, probably, they probablysleep right now, not even to be
it because my kids by 8 30 max.
Like, yeah, it's so importantand I'm like, oh my gosh, I've

(35:36):
never had a schedule forvictoria, I still don't listen.

Speaker 1 (35:39):
Let me tell you how important sleep is.
I think sleep is underrated.
It is underrated and that whenwe talk about self, when we talk
about help, self-help andstress and all that, we need to
understand that sleep is a partof that yeah your body needs to
rest and the our kids need sleep, depending on the age either

(36:00):
eight to ten hours of sleep or12 to 14 hours sleep, depending
on the age either 8 to 10 hoursof sleep or 12 to 14 hours sleep
, depending on the age.
Yeah, I know they ain't catslike 18 hours a day, but I'm
saying kids really do like andit's proven that kids who sleep
well do well.
Think about this if you don'tsleep well, do you do well?
I'll be tired, you'll be like Idon't understand, I can't
comprehend, can't keep my eyesclosed.

(36:20):
I'm extra silly, I ain'tprocessing, so just imagine that
as a kid who can't control that.
So we as parents, right, haveto put the foot down and say,
hey, this is what we're doing.
Even my guy children, when theycame, when they I raised them
the same way, they was in bed.
Their parents be crank it upbecause they called me.
They were like listen, sheain't in bed, because if she was
at my house she was in bed.

Speaker 2 (36:41):
They know the routine , see, kids be knowing, because
look my same nieces and nephewswhen they with me, look my baby,
know if he be like I see Iain't going to sleep, I be like,
nope, we up.
She already know and I tell youwe be up, but let me tell you
when it's time to get up, theyall handle their business and

(37:01):
it's like Victoria, my mama,always say she's like an adult,
Like how does that baby go tobed late and get up?

Speaker 1 (37:10):
But eventually that's going to fall because you can't
keep up that routine forever.

Speaker 2 (37:14):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (37:14):
That's the thing.
These kids are going to getburned out.
They're going to get frustrated.
Even we think that, oh, theydoing this easy, right, right,
they probably in their brain,they tired as much, they trying
to keep their stuff together foryou, because you ain't put your
foot down absolutely it's noteven that it was, it's literally
.

Speaker 2 (37:31):
That's why I was saying what kind of job did you
have?
So like I literally wasteaching when I had victoria
like I was working at a nurse'soffice and then I was like the
aftercare so I wasn't gettingoff till 6 o'clock.
So we got our village helping uswith Victoria.
So, like you said, by the timeyou get home sometime it's 7

(37:53):
o'clock for me, even if I gotstuff prepped or at the time
when she was younger, it'seating.
But it was like, like you said,said I want to spend that time
with my child now.
So, and giving her a bathsometimes she already got her
bath because my mom or whoevershe may have been with, like
that's one less thing I want youto have to worry about.
So it's like still trying tomake sure I'm spending that time

(38:15):
.
And then also with the job thatmy husband has.
It's like some sometimes wedon't see him for like two days
because he got to work aroundthe clock.

Speaker 1 (38:24):
Right.
So, even though so a lot ofparents ask that question, it's
like they run down their wholeschedule like you kind of did or
whatever.
You know that's a little cute,so, but we find time to do what
we need to do, what we reallywant to do and what's in our
heart.
So even villages are amazing.
I love a village.

(38:44):
You know you can't do thisthing alone.
Whether you're married, singleor divorced, you can't do it
alone.
But what I do know is that eventhat little bit of time that
you spend to your child has tobe intentional, right?
So even if you're not the onegiving them a bath but you're
the one putting in the bed,let's talk.
My thing is that you're notsitting in front of a television
sitting in front of a computerand letting that stuff teach
them, sending a bid and stufflike that.

(39:07):
No, you're being intentional.
So, even if your schedule iscomplex as it may be, we as
parents still have to beintentional and finding that
time to make sure we connectwith our kids.
Because when you ask a kid whatis love, I know I'm loved by
how much time you spend with me,not how much money you spend on

(39:30):
me, not how many games you getme, how many clothes and stuff
like that, not the materialstuff.
It's really.
I know that you love me becauseyou're taking your time and
spending it with me and that'swhat Tori says.

Speaker 2 (39:41):
I say I love you, tori.
She goes I love you, maya.
How do you know?
How do you know that I love you?
Like you and daddy, like y'allalways make sure I got this, you
make sure you do this with me,like, and she'll go down the
line like that's, that's how Iknow.
And I said, well, what ifmommy's not able to do that?
Does that mean that I don'tlove you?

(40:02):
She said no, because you'vealready done it for me, right?

Speaker 1 (40:05):
so, brielle, let me ask you a question.
So you, as a teacher, do havestudents?
Because I see the flip side ofif we don't do what we're
supposed to do as parents, right, if we don't give them the
proper rest, if we don't givethem the proper nutrition, if we
don't spend the proper timewith them, what are the effects
of it?
What do you see in yourclassroom with these children
who are not getting those, thoseareas fulfilled?

Speaker 2 (40:26):
It just throws them off, like it will throw their
whole day off, like let's justsay they come in and they don't
get breakfast.

Speaker 1 (40:35):
They last night mommy had to work right, because we
got to work, we got to work, wegot to pay the bills.

Speaker 2 (40:44):
It just throws their day off.
And I can.
I feel like I'm like this, likeI can read children and I
understand, because when theycome into me, first thing they
do is give me love like theygive me hugs.
It's what I, first thing I dowhen they, before they come my
classroom, I make sure I tellthem good morning and we always
do a high five.
From there I can tell okay,something happened at home, let

(41:09):
me call mom, let me call dad,let me see what happened,
because it lets me know howtheir day is going to go.
I'm with them for six and a halfhours this whole time I need to
know and understand ifsomething happened at home last
night this morning.
If JoJo couldn't get cerealthis morning and they really
wanted cereal but we got cerealhere Let me go get them.

(41:30):
Jojo cereal't get cereal thismorning and they really wanted
cereal but we got cereal here,let me go get them.

Speaker 1 (41:31):
JoJo cereal Right.

Speaker 2 (41:31):
So his day won't be so thrown off, right.

Speaker 1 (41:34):
It's just the little things like that the small
things that count.
Right.

Speaker 2 (41:38):
And they little, Even if they were bigger.
It's like the small things thatcount, the conversations with
them, the letting them know thatlike look, I'm here for you,
Like I'm here for you Like, Igot your back, like you feel me.
So I think it's it starts there.
It's just like I can tell whenthey, when they're thrown off or

(42:01):
when you know they're not goingto have a good day.
But it always turns out a goodday Cause it's me.
That's good.
So I remember you said likeemails and sending out different
things you know, maybe in likefolders or whatever, but if the
child is having a bad day, doyou have like an app or like
different resources that youcould get to a little quicker to
reach out to those parents?
Because I think that's reallygood if you can kind of know

(42:22):
like there's something happening.
Not, you don't got to go intodetail, but, like you said, so
it can make my classroom go alittle bit better because I
don't just have one child rightright so, yes, I do have a quick
system that I use.
Well, of course, we all knowclass dojo.
A lot of teachers use that forparents um communication.
I do use that for what's comingup, what's happening, what I'm

(42:45):
teaching what I'm doing.
I let them know that there Ialso um to the parents that I
know that's not going to abusemy number.
I will get my phone number out.
Just don't call me differenttimes of the night and I also
have so in their folders.
We have calendars On thatcalendar day I do happy faces,

(43:07):
straight faces or sad faces.
If they got a happy face, thatmeans they had an amazing day.

Speaker 1 (43:11):
Right.

Speaker 2 (43:12):
If they got a straight face.
Ooh, I had to give them acouple warnings, but you know,
maybe they can turn it into ahappy face If they had a sad
face.
They was terrible.
I'm writing They'll see thatunder that day that they got a
sad face and I'm writing alittle note next to their side.
If it's major than that note.
It'll be on a sticky note andthem kids know don't touch that

(43:33):
sticky note because it's goinghome to get back.
So I've had a child rip one upbefore.

Speaker 1 (43:38):
Oh wow, kitty guard.
Oh Jesus, yeah, they smart,they are.

Speaker 2 (43:53):
But that's really good.
What I just heard in there ismaybe parents can start sending
a sticky note or something thatthe child had a good day, the
smiley face.

Speaker 1 (43:56):
You know that that straight face to let you know,
let teachers know, like todaymay be a little wrong yeah, I
know, I remember, because mykids were complex, you know,
with the girls um, both parentsbeing deceased, so.
So there were times at homelike we dealt with some grieving
stuff.
There was times where it maynot have been like a great night
, like she was concerned when Iwas concerned.

(44:18):
So always I've always just hada great relationship with
teachers and say, from thebeginning of the year, introduce
who I am or a situation and I'm, I'm that parent, so I'll be
there situation and I'm, I'mthat parent, so I'll be there.
So, um, it worked out becausethen it allowed, um, the parent,
the teacher, to understand thatI'm a parent, that's involved,
so that I need to make sure that, you know, in order for this

(44:41):
child to be successful, I needto make sure I'm communicating
with that parent, because me, asa parent, I'm going to
communicate.
Again, parenting, you know, wegot to bring back the
responsibility in parenting, themobility and beauty.
So our children are royalty,right, nobility.
Our children are royalty and wewant to make sure that they get
the best services as possible.
So, like I remember with thegirls, because both parents

(45:02):
passed away from heart attacks.
So I remember when they were inelementary school, they used to
call me all the time, like theyused to call me just to hear my
voice and know that my heart isstill beating.
Those teachers understood thatbecause they knew the fact that
these parents were deceased fromheart attacks.
So when I would get the phone,the teachers didn't have no
problem when it, when one of mychildren said hey, I really need
to call my aunt because of thatcommunication communication.

(45:25):
So that's why parentalinvolvement is so important,
because we want our kids to besuccessful by any means
necessary, right, um?
So we as parents have aresponsibility to make sure that
happen.
You, as a teacher, have aresponsibility, but I think the
onus is really on the parent tocommunicate.
You got 30 kids I got two kidsat home can I step out and need

(45:47):
to communicate the way properly.
Yes, um, I want to shift theconversation a little bit real
and um, this is a little bitkind of what we were talking
about last week, because we weknow that there's a lot of um
violence in schools now, even inour young schools, and um, the
topic, uh, that we've been a lotof people reaching out, even
since the podcast last weekabout school shootings.

(46:09):
Well, you know, recently wejust had a lot of people
reaching out, even since thepodcast last week about school
shootings.
Well, you know, recently wejust had a lot of school
shootings, like, I mean, utterlyridiculous, I can't.
Like I said last week, by lastweek, by last Thursday, there
were already 46 school shootingsfor the year, 46.
And 24 people died and 370something was injured, right, so

(46:36):
, as a teacher, right, how doyou guys address because this is
new for for us to understand Idon't even think parents really
understand the magnitude ofthese um shelter in place drills
, these, um active shooterdrills, these, because that's
traumatizing to me, so I I can'timagine it being to children
and we're doing this youngest,preschool and elementary.
I had read an article I talkedabout last week is that one of

(46:58):
the children had a conversationwith his father and said Dad,
don't buy me light-up sneakersanymore.
Now the kid loved light-upsneakers.
First day of school great, wegot some light-up sneakers and
he's like you love light-up.
First day of school great, wegot some light up school and
he's like you love light upsneakers.
Why don't you want light upsneakers?
Because the shooter's gonnafind me and kill me and my
friends five years old.
So tell, I just got chillsagain with that.

(47:18):
So tell me one how do you feelabout what's going on with the
school shooting and and thedrills?
I know you guys had apptrainers and things like that.
How do you feel about that?
And what we as parents can kindof do to prepare our kids so
that it's not a shocker whenthey come to school and have to
do these?
I remember just fire drills andthat was scary enough.

(47:39):
That was loud and annoying andwe had to go outside at one time
with no coat on.
That was my biggest issue, butnow it's a whole different thing
.
So can you talk to us a littlebit about your experience as a
teacher and I know that washeavy, of what I just hit you
with.

Speaker 2 (47:54):
Yeah, I'm like hold on now, but I think I got it.
So I'll first say that, justlooking on different news, it's
scary, Like as a teacher, likeit is scary.
It's scary Like it's as ateacher, like it is scary Like I
know that my life is on theline for these children.

(48:14):
And that's okay, because I lovewhat I do Right.
My life is on the line, so ifanybody was to ever come and do
anything, I know I need to bethe first person to step forward
.

Speaker 1 (48:24):
Okay, yeah.

Speaker 2 (48:26):
That's.
That's how we're taught.
You got to be the first personto step forth.
And that's okay.
As far as practicing drills, wedo do that monthly.
I know with my kids we have tolike try to find something to
keep them like quiet, becausethey talk a lot.

Speaker 1 (48:44):
Right, I was like how you get a kindergarten and I
tell them every time I'm like yo, if somebody came up to this
school, we done they.

Speaker 2 (48:48):
I was like how you get a kindergarten?
And I tell them every time I'mlike yo, if somebody came up to
this school, we done they.
Finding us, they coming back onthe door, they know we in here
and it's over, we done Be quiet.
And they be like what you mean,ms Hurley?
I'm like you have to be quiet,like this is the time let's play
the quiet game.
Like think, like they likeplaying games and video games.

(49:11):
So I'm like, okay, let me makethis into a game.
So I know we just practiced.
We had our fire drill the otherday and they did pretty good,
you know, they were quietgetting down the steps and all
of that.
But we have not done the, youknow, and I am like how that?
And frantic like, because howin the world am I going to get
all of these children to bequiet when they don't even be

(49:32):
quiet while I'm teaching?
So a teacher last week saidsomething that she does in the
morning when they come in theydo a game of hide and seek.

Speaker 1 (49:44):
Yeah, she's teaching elementary as well.
She's a kindergarten.

Speaker 2 (49:47):
And they do hide and seek.
She's teaching elementary aswell.

Speaker 1 (49:49):
She's a kindergarten, she's not a kindergarten.
Yeah, and they do hide and seek.
You know what hit me?
What she said was when shefirst come in a class before her
kids whatever they're lookingfor a place, she's looking for
where her kids are going to hide.
Yeah, that's so crazy.

Speaker 2 (49:59):
Like you got to walk in.

Speaker 1 (50:00):
So then, in the beginning of the class, that's
what they do.

Speaker 2 (50:10):
She prepares them, just in case.
Yeah, that's scary, it's veryscary, it's just.
It is because then it's likeokay, I have so many students,
what if my classroom is not bigenough, right, what if they're
in the open or my window is justslightly open that they can
peek in and see, yeah, or what?

Speaker 1 (50:22):
if one of my kids are so scared, crying because they
don't know what's going on, andnow I have to be the comforter,
but also yeah that's a lot tothink about and I think that one
of those things that we asparents we don't really know
because we're not in the school.
So how do we prepare?
So that's one of the otherreasons parental involvement is

(50:42):
important, to have arelationship with the teacher so
that you know, even doing adrill, you can say, hey, such
and such didn't do too well inthe drill, they had some
problems or whatever.
Because I know my one of mydaughters, they want to test my
inner gains.
That's surprising enough.
They're not like fire drills orthose active drills.
She really had a hard time.
So I will always know what I,what we, what we had in the plan

(51:03):
is that for them to let me knowwhen they're going to do these
drills so that I can prepare hertoo, um, so that it's not a
whole big thing and technically,like you really don't want to
do that, but if you know a kidwho is so frightened from it and
that is really, uh, traumaticfor them, like having that
conversation.
So the teachers were like onthe calendar, such and such, you
know, and that worked outreally well through elementary

(51:25):
for her, um, but yeah, but it'sscary though.

Speaker 2 (51:28):
So I feel like as far as like a plan for parents,
like just educate your childrenon it at least that's the least
speaking to them about it, likeeducate them on it, let them
know what it is, let them knowit could be anybody like it's
not just it could be anybody tocome into your school.
it could be anybody to come intoyour school, it can be anybody
to come on that field while youguys are at a gate, like right

(51:51):
where anything can happen at anytime, so just educate them Um,
have a plan at home like make aplan for your family Like just
like we when I was younger, wedid.
If you got caught in a fire,stop dropping roll.
Make a plan for me meet at thetree over there, that's what I'm
saying, like make it, make aplan to for you and your

(52:12):
children, that way they knowwhen they come to school oh, I
practice this at home.
or my mom or dad told me aboutthis.
Then they're a little moreeducated and it's not like
they're just looking at me likewhat, what are we doing?

Speaker 1 (52:25):
What are you talking about?

Speaker 2 (52:26):
I'm scared.

Speaker 1 (52:30):
And now there's my tears.
Yeah, because most parents, alot of parents they watch the
news.
The kids hear the news, likethese kids are listening, right,
so they know.
The kids know what's going on,um, and I think that's so
important to educate them sothat it's not something shocking
or new to them.
And I think one of the thingsthat I hear from a lot of
parents, though, is that it'stoo painful to talk about, it's
too scary to talk about.

(52:51):
I don't want to scare my kid,but I think ignoring it, Right,
you should be the oneintroducing it to them.

Speaker 2 (52:57):
To be the one you should be introducing it to them
.

Speaker 1 (53:02):
I don't care because they don't want to bring up
thoughts that they may not havealready had, but I think
ignoring it it's a red flag.
Yeah, ignorance doesn't serveanyone.
no, especially our childrenabsolutely you said no, don't
leave you to just do it.
I need a partnership, like,because I'm thinking like you
got like 30 kids in your classand you trying to do all this,

(53:23):
and then you have this, um,because we know like, even, and
when we talk about this shooterstuff, like it happens in
colleges, but most of it ishappening through K-12.
So that's why it's so importantto be like really having a
conversation we just seen lastweek.

Speaker 2 (53:42):
This week.
It just happened in WilliamPenn it was reported oh
yesterday.
Matter of fact, yesterday.
So it's just like, even if yousee something, you know what is
your conversation with yourchild when they see something
like that in school, yeah,because you want.
The whole thing about school ismaking it a safe place.

(54:03):
Right A safe environment forthem to learn Like they want to
feel safe when they're learning.

Speaker 1 (54:07):
Right.

Speaker 2 (54:08):
I want to feel safe when I'm teaching.

Speaker 1 (54:09):
I was going to say they want to feel safe when
they're learning.
Right, I want to feel safe whenI'm teaching.
I was going to say you want tofeel, you want to be able to go
home to your family, you want tobe able to go Absolutely, yeah,
absolutely.

Speaker 2 (54:16):
So, really, and back to those conversations that you
have around the kids.
Absolutely yeah, Like rightthey bullies they bullying?

Speaker 1 (54:28):
wow.
So, basically, as we, as wewrap this thing up, um, we
really need to be as parents, weneed to be intentional, we need
to really take the time out andunderstand what our purpose is
in raising our children.
Our children are.
Our children are gifts.
Yes, how do you handle a gift?
Basically like, how, how wouldyou want to handle that gift?

(54:48):
Especially, these gifts arevery fragile, right?
So what are we doing to pourinto the lives of our children?
And if we don't know how tohandle a gift, you kind of go
back to the maker and try tofigure out how I need to do this
, right, go back to the makerand also go back to some of our
old Parenting With A Purposeseasons and episodes, because we

(55:09):
are here to help, giveresources, to give you that
knowledge, to give you thatinformation.

Speaker 2 (55:14):
We have this platform so you can ask questions, so we
can get the proper resourcesgetting certain people on the
show to talk about real lifesituations.
So when we're speaking aboutParenting with a Purpose,
getting teachers, getting lawenforcement, whether they're
parents, they play the role of aparent, whatever it may be.
We are putting these things outhere to help not just ourselves

(55:38):
but our community and the worldas a whole.
This is very important to us.
So even with this segmenttonight not even feeling like
we're trying to beat up on theparents or anything, but really
laying, laying the mat out ofwhat it is we have a teacher
right here who's letting us knowhelp me, to help you be a
better parent, so I can be thatbetter teacher, so we can have

(56:02):
better children, so our worldcan be a really be a better
place absolutely.

Speaker 1 (56:06):
yeah, I agree that was beautiful Pam.
No, it's so serious becausewhen you look at.
Every time something happenswith our children, the first
thing they say is where were theparents?
What was going on with theparents?
And a lot of times we see incommunity resources we see so
many resources for our childrenright, so that our children can

(56:27):
have extracurricular activitiesso they don't get into A and c,
but at the same time, what toolsare we giving the parents?
yeah, so that they can parent.
Probably I don't believe inthat somebody should come and
step in and parent for you.
I think that we should helpeach other parent to the best of
our ability, so I need to beable to give you tools and
resources and partner with youso that you so your child can be

(56:48):
successful.
Because you know, sometimes Ihear a lot when parents, when
people say, well, my kid can goto abc because they can't talk
to me.
Well, first of all, if your kidcan't talk to me, that's to
talk to you, that's a concernfor me.
I'm not coming in to be yourchild's superhero.
That's not what we're doing.
What we're going to do isfigure out how we could work
together and communicate thebetter parenting, because, at
the end of the day, our childrenare our responsibility.

(57:11):
They are, and if we don't knowhow to do, if you don't know how
to do something at your job,you're gonna ask for help.
If you don't know how to makesome money you're gonna go
figure it out.

Speaker 2 (57:20):
So, as a parent, it's okay to ask for help and I know
a lot of us have built up thesewalls, especially parents in my
generation like I'm not askingnobody for anything and you know
, kind of like a nonchalantattitude because when you were
told no at that place where youwere in your life, so you feel
like, oh, I'm just not going toask for anything.
Like don't hinder, don't doyour child a disservice by

(57:45):
continuing to feed.
Feed that, um, what is it Like?
Feed that thing that you resistthat wound.

Speaker 1 (57:53):
Yes, that wound, that wound, that wound, you feel me.

Speaker 2 (57:58):
You're being that storm and that rain to them for
no reason.
They don't deserve it.
So again, we're here.
Come, get connected and be apart of our community, because
what we don't know, we'rewilling to to get it for you as
well as we're willing to get itfor ourselves yeah and I do want
to say too like always, it'ssomething like with pride with

(58:22):
parents, and it's like theydon't put their pride aside and
they don't ask for help.
So I say do ask for help,because when you ask for help,
you get those services that yourchild needs and it helps me in
the classroom.
Right, it's a weight off myshoulder, it's a load that has
been lifted when I get thoseextra services to help me in the
classroom.

Speaker 1 (58:41):
Yeah it's a smooth ride Right, you ain't got to be
embarrassed.
You ain't got to be embarrassed.

Speaker 2 (58:46):
You ain't got to put no pride aside, Because at the
end of the day again, we wantour children to be successful?

Speaker 1 (58:49):
Yes, so whatever we got to do as parents, you know,
put the pride aside, put theshame aside or whatever.
I know a lot of parents whodeal with child with, like ADHD,
add, any type of disorder, andthey don't want to get the help
because they don't want thestigma behind it.

Speaker 2 (59:05):
But let me tell you something.

Speaker 1 (59:13):
You behind it.
But let me tell you somethingyou're doing more of a
disservice, not helping yourchild than helping them,
absolutely because you, as aparent, our job is to make sure
that our kids get the properresources.
Yes, so again, we here atparenting with a purpose, we
love you guys, we love talkingto you guys.
And again, um, follow us on uhfacebook, follow us on instagram
, um follow us on youtube, justfollow us and stay connected.
So again.
So if there is something thatyou want us to talk about that

(59:34):
we have not delved into, wedefinitely will bring a
conversation.
So we thank you tonight, riel,because you really opened up
like this huge conversation.
That should actually becontinued, because we, as
parents, don't really know whatthe teachers feel like or what
they have to go through.

Speaker 2 (59:50):
We only know what we only know, absolutely so thank
you.

Speaker 1 (59:54):
I think that you you opened up eyes, even though my
kids aren't as young anymore,but it really opened up my eyes
to be able to communicate withother parents, to know what you
guys are dealing with.
Yeah, so we certainlyappreciate you taking the time
and keeping it real.
Yes, absolutely.
On parenting with a purposeagain, thank you guys for
joining us with parenting with apurpose tonight.
I am your host, donna janelle,and I'm your co-host, pamela,

(01:00:17):
and we look forward to seeingyou back here thursday night for
our next uh topic.
Uh, what is our next topic,though?
We were, uh, I think we kind ofstill need to do this school
thing a little bit and and alsoadding digital into it.
Yeah, digital, because that's awhole other topic.
But whatever it is we're goingto be talking about next week,
trust me, you're going to get it, you're going to love it,

(01:00:39):
you're going to get an eye open,change some of our thinking as
parents of what really is goingon in the world.
So again, we thank you guys forjoining Parent with a purpose.
You guys have a great day.