October 12, 2024 • 58 mins
What if your child's education could be supercharged simply by you becoming more involved? Tiffany Barnes, a seasoned school counselor with over two decades in education, joins us to explore the enormous impact of parental involvement. Tiffany shares her journey from the classroom to counseling, unveiling the vital role schools play as community pillars. Her insights reveal how school staff, including counselors and social workers, can enhance family support through home visits. Tiffany's dedication to fostering strong relationships with students and their families shines through, offering keys to preparing children for the challenges of the world.
In a world where technology is seamlessly woven into the fabric of education, the notion of digital citizenship takes on new urgency. We discuss strategies parents can use to set healthy online boundaries, ensuring children remain safe while exploring digital spaces. Personal stories illustrate the delicate balance between protection and freedom. Through our conversation, we underline the importance of trust and open dialogue, providing parents with tools to guide their children effectively in the digital age.
Our conversation evolves to address the delicate art of monitoring children's digital lives while respecting their privacy. Tiffany emphasizes the importance of emotional well-being and the modern parenting approaches needed to support it. We illuminate the necessity of collaboration between parents and educators, striving for a unified effort in nurturing children's growth. These discussions aim to empower both parents and educators, providing a wealth of resources and insights to build a supportive, informed community. Join us as we express profound gratitude for the tireless dedication of educators and parents, working in concert to cultivate a brighter future for all.
Parents are the Bows and Children are the Arrows they will land wherever we aim them eventually!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Thank you.
Hey everybody, welcome back toPanther with a Purpose.
(01:49):
I am your host, donna Janelle,and I am your co-host, pamela,
and we have a guest here today,tiffany Barnes.
Hello, tiff, welcome to thestudio.
What's going on, tiff?
All right, so, as you know,panther with a Purpose, we are
here to bring awareness, tobring knowledge, to bring
whatever you need as far asparenting, the whole space of
parenting.
(02:09):
We know that parents are thebows.
Our children are arrows, andthey will land wherever we aim
them, as long as we give themthe tools, as long as we equip
them and don't send them outsidenaked.
Why?
Because the world will dressour kids with whatever.
Y'all see what's going on now.
I don't even got to get into it, do y'all see what's going on
(02:30):
now, what these kids are beingdressed with?
So here, our focus is to makesure that you get the
information that you need sothat you can be successful.
So tonight, though, you know,we've been dealing a lot with um
, school.
We've been dealing withparental involvement.
Um, whether in school or evenjust in the community, parents
just need to be involved.
There's a mandate on parentingright now, and we're here to
tell you that there is a mandateand that we are responsible to
(02:51):
bring back the responsibilities,nobility and beauty back into
parenting.
So tonight, our guest, tiffanyuh, you want to go by Tiff or
Tiffany, what you either.
One T, what's going on?
So Tiffany is a schoolcounselor, she is a master's in
education, right, yes?
(03:11):
So tell us a little bit aboutyourself, what you do, you know
whatever you want the audienceto know, and then we're going to
dig right into what we'reactually talking about tonight,
which is a very eye opening,enlightening for me.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
So, as Donna said, my name is Tiffany Barnes.
I am an elementary schoolcounselor with the Brandywine
School District.
I work at Maple Lane ElementarySchool.
I've been an educator for over20 years and a school counselor
for just about nine years.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
Oh, wow.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Yeah, so I have taught every level, from pre-K
all the way up to like eighthgrade.
So I'm elementary, middleschool level.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
And that's one of them high school kids.
Huh, no, that's not my story.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
No, and so I provide personal, social, emotional,
academic supports in the classesthrough small groups and
individuals.
So I work closely with everyoneadmin, teachers, students,
families the list goes on and on.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
It's like a whole melting pot, you it?
Speaker 3 (04:18):
Yeah, I'm it, Because that was one of my questions.
I was going to say do you dealpersonally with the family, such
as the parents or guardians andthat nature?
Speaker 2 (04:26):
yes, how's that experience um?
I like it.
Uh, hopefully you know thefamilies like me listen you
still in it.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
They vote you out of the school.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Yes, no, so yeah, um, I try to build relationships
with our students and with ourfamilies.
I try to maintain thoserelationships and make sure that
they know that you know I'mhere to listen to them, I'm here
for them to be heard.
So, and if I can help in anyway, I do it.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
Absolutely so.
Have you been at this schoolfrom your 20 years that you've
been in education?
Speaker 2 (05:02):
so I started at maple lane, maybe 10 years ago,
something like that.
Okay, no, nine, it was nine.
So I started at maple lane nineyears ago.
I became the second gradeteacher there for a year and
then that summer I was the umour school counselor moved to
another school and then I becamethe school counselor because
(05:24):
wow.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
I had that degree now , did you always want to be a
school counselor?
Because I know you know,because that's a little
different from just being ateacher in the classroom, like
yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
I think I always wanted to work with children.
Counseling, um, yeah, okay, Ithought I thought I was going to
work with adults at first, butchildren are my passion,
something about them kids right.
Something about them.
You know, they tug on myheartstrings.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
So do you have to go inside the homes?
Speaker 2 (05:52):
I don't.
Not often I would say, but if Ineed to, I will.
So we do have a social workerthat the social worker will go
do home visits.
But if I need to do a homevisit I, um, I can oh, wow, you
know I thought about that.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
Um, I don't.
When I was younger.
I don't recall anybody comingto no home visits for for from
school or anything.
I remember them called cps.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
No other people came yeah, no so we sometimes we know
our families, so sometimes ourfamilies, families might need a
little nudge or a little homevisit from you know, our admin
or myself, our social worker.
So we will do that, we'll doour due diligence before we call
or anything like that.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
You remember the movie Lean on Me, I might be
dating.
Oh, you do.
Okay, come on, flag, sis.
I'm sorry, sis, I'm sorry, Iwas just saying, I was just
wanting to make sure that youwas gonna.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
Okay, I'm sorry so lean on you, it's kind of enough
all day.
She don't got her new brain.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Little crinkles on the end lean on me right and
remember they went into the homelike to go check and see what
was going on and they found outsituation, circumstances and
then the school was able to helpand provide for that family
because they got a chance tohave a deeper look like I was
wondering if that goes like.
I don't think that goes on now,but that would be like it does.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
That's a nice help.
So schools are part of thecommunity, yeah, so we are here
to help.
We're not just here to educate.
So there are resources that weprovide that a lot of families
may not know.
Like, again, we have a schoolsocial worker, so and they will
be able to provide our families.
(07:40):
Like, of course, you have toit's protocols and things that
you have to do and to qualifyfor those resources but if you
qualify for those resources, youwill get them.
Wow, and schools are there.
They are there to help.
They are there to providedifferent like, if you need food
, we have food.
(08:01):
We partner with the Food Bankof Delaware.
Wow or we partner with.
You know, if you need someclothes, we will make a way.
Our PTOs, our PTAs, they willhelp.
Like there are resources withinthe school systems that are
there for families.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
So my next thing is I remember in high school having
a guidance counselor.
I believe there were some inmiddle school, but I didn't have
to deal with them personally, Iwas more so administration.
But at this grade level, how doyou like get connected?
Do you have to like sign yourchildren up to have you know the
(08:42):
guidance counselor Like howdoes that work?
Is it like IEPs?
Speaker 2 (08:47):
or so, with um the um Bernie Wine School District.
We are uh MTSS um schooldistrict, which is a
multi-tiered systems of supportoh wait, that's new, that's
something different too yeah, sowe have different tiers, so um
we provide interventions for allof our students.
Speaker 3 (09:05):
So we have.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
Tier 1 interventions and Tier 1 is for all students.
Okay, Every single one.
Not anyone is left behind inthose interventions.
Okay, then you have what isTier 2 and Tier 3.
Tier 2 are students that needsome more support besides just
those Tier 1.
So they'll keep getting thoseTier 1 supports but they might
(09:26):
need a little bit of extrasupport in that Tier 2 process.
The Tier 3 students is a littlesmall group of students that
might need a little bit moreintervention.
So any one of those tiers, theydon't stop those interventions.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
They keep the Tier 1, the Tier 2, two and they will
also receive a tier threeintervention wow, I think you
know I don't know if a lot ofparents know, um how much
support there is available forhow many resources it is, um,
because I didn't even know andI'm a I I kind of think that I
(10:02):
know a lot about resources forparents and I didn't even know
it's at those levels.
I think that it's so important,though, to be that multi-tier,
multi, because to be support, Ilike what you said earlier, tiff
.
You said that we are not herejust to educate your kids.
No, can you break that down alittle bit more?
Speaker 2 (10:21):
So we, like I said, we are a community, we are a
family, we are a family, we areyour extended family.
So when I come in my schoolbuilding, those are my babies,
okay, so if you know that I'm inyour school, just know that I'm
taking care of your babies,because I treat them like I
would treat my own kids, becauseyou know, and it's not planned,
(10:42):
I'm not planned.
I am not playing because theyare mine I get it I make sure
that they are safe, we, we keepthem safe and and everything but
um.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
Yeah, like we are like an extended family I think
that is so important because wetalk about parental involvement,
that's what we've really beentalking about.
like you know, my thing thisyear and everything I talk about
deal is around here we put inthe work.
Right, that's the thing.
Like parents do it with apurpose.
Around here we put in the work.
And it's just such a mandate onparents putting in the work
because every time there'ssomething going on with a kid,
(11:13):
the first thing they do is saywhere's the parents, what's
going on?
And my question is have weresourced those parents?
Speaker 3 (11:17):
that's good that you said that, don't you start with
me.
It's good that you said thatbecause if you don't know, you
know how can you utilize theresources?
Because, like I said, Iremember it in high school, I'm
sure they were there in middleschool, but, like you said, it
(11:39):
was certain criteria.
But why do I have to be labeledor marked as this to have those
resources?
So what, uh, in your schooldistrict, what is something that
the parents have to do so theycan be informed of those
resources that aren't just, youknow, on packets, on the website
given out, on different agendasand calendars and things of
(12:02):
that nature?
Speaker 2 (12:03):
So let me um see if you are asking me.
If I'm understanding yourquestion, how do families get
involved with school counselorsin?
Speaker 3 (12:15):
my district.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
So again, I'm there for the whole school.
So it's not just certainstudents see me, it's not just
certain things.
Certain students might get alittle bit more of me, but I'm
there to service the wholestudent, all of the students, so
that I go into the classrooms,I teach lessons in the classroom
, I teach small groups and I maysee some individuals, but I am
(12:40):
there for the entire school.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
I think that holistic approach is so amazing because
so many times I don't know ify'all noticed like in this world
, in this culture that we livein, we want to separate
everything, separate the churchfrom the schools, separate the
church from the state, separate.
That's even been a separationof parenting in these sectors as
well, and it's like how do we,how do why are we separating
(13:06):
things?
That?
What if, like you're, you'reonly strong when you have
multiple people like you can'tbe an island.
I tried that parenting thing onmy own.
You know, really been an island, not tapping the resources.
Man, I almost killed myselfwith that one.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
No, we have to be a unified front and our students
have to see that they, that weare unified front.
So say you your baby came to myschool, so your baby needs to
see that me and you talk yeah,we have to have that open line
of communication, you know, inorder for them to see that, man,
I can't play two sides can'tplay.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
Can't play with it.
Can't play with it yo becausekids I got my first phone call
this week.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
Uh-oh, I did and it wasn't like bad, but I really
appreciated the phone call Meand the teacher like communicate
through email.
But something she said is Ireally thank you so much for
being a parent that is not justbig on education Like you, want
to know full circle.
(14:03):
And I was like, oh, of, ofcourse, because I don't want my
kid, I don't want my kid beingthe kid that, oh, is excelling,
but because of behavior, youcan't really do what you need to
do.
You can't have access tocertain things.
So you making a grade but yourbehavior sucks.
Yeah, I don't want that.
So I need to know everything Isaid.
So if you need to call me, ifyou need to hit me on the app,
(14:25):
do what you need to do.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Show up at my house, hey, tiff, what's up, because
we're not we're not just raisingan academic child, we're not
just raising right, we'reraising one that needs to be
socially, emotionally.
Um, well, we need one to bewell within the mental health.
We need one to be wellacademically, socially,
educationally everywhere,especially socially, with your
(14:51):
family and your schools, yeahall of that
Speaker 1 (14:55):
I think that is so important because I think about
my job as a nurse right, I dealwith medical complex p's and
when you say that your babieslike these babies are my babies
like I take care of them as ifthe parents be laughing, they be
like, look at you with her.
Yes, because this is my baby.
I make sure that everything isstraight and that I partner with
the parent if I noticesomething or something like I'm
I'm all about preventive and itsounds like that's what you're
(15:16):
gaming at.
It's like everybody is haveaccess to you, because it's not
just about where we're proactive, not just reactive.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
We can't.
We can't be reactive because ifwe're reacting to something
behind the eight ball, yeah allright, so talk to us.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Tiff about.
Um.
So the hot topic tonight isthis digital thing.
Like you got this whole digitalcitizenship thing, so I want
you to explain to us about.
You know, this did like when Ithink about citizenship, I'm
thinking about being in anothercountry or like something
foreign.
Right, like I got it, I'm nowbecoming a citizen of the United
States or UK or something likethat.
(15:54):
So talk about this citizencitizenship.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
So if you think about citizenship, you thinking of
you know, understanding andadhering to the rules and the
regulations of you know whereyou living, right, right.
So digital citizenship is apositivity existing in the
digital world, in digital spaces.
So we want to make sure thatour children are being positive
(16:19):
digital citizens.
So that's new times, girl.
Yeah, not cyber bullying, andwe don't want them to send out
negative images and differentthings out into the digital
world because a lot of times wecan't take it back.
So once it's out there.
It's out there and you can'ttake it back.
So we know that.
(16:40):
You know, as we're growing upin this age, there's new things
happening more and more digitalspaces, more and more apps, more
and more platforms, more andmore different things that our
kids can have access to.
So we want to make sure that weare monitoring those devices,
(17:00):
we're monitoring those spaces sothat they are getting a
positive result back.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
Right, you said earlier before we started the
show, we were talking about thisa little bit and, um, not
avoiding like we can't avoid thedigital world, because that's
just what we are and it's not, Ithink, at least for me.
Um, everything is not alwaysbad.
Right things that are meant tobe good can't be used for bad.
(17:29):
Yes, but it's all about theindividual or the organization
of how they use that.
So how do we remain positive insuch a digital world where it
seems so dark?
Speaker 2 (17:40):
yeah.
So just like we say, in eatingsomething, say you know I like
cake or whatever.
So we will say I can't eat cakeevery day, or I can't eat cake
every hour or anything like that, but I will eat it in
moderation.
So I will have to set someboundaries for myself in order
(18:01):
not to eat the cake every day.
So it's the same for thesedigital spaces.
We need to make sure that we'resetting healthy boundaries for
our students and making surethat the sites that they're
going on are age appropriate,right.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
I just see on Instagram they have an Instagram
for teens now.
I guess because everything thatwas going on with Instagram and
child trafficking andpedophiles and a lot of
different things, and these kidshave really gotten some deep,
dark, dangerous stuff.
They now I didn't tap into it,but I just been seeing a lot of
Instagram for teens.
(18:36):
I guess they're trying towelcome teens, but in a safe
environment.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
In a safer way.
I guess that's what they'retrying to do, but still, as
parents, we need to be mindfuland we still need to track what
our okay, Because they stillthey still can come out.
They will find those loopholesin those doorways for them to
come out.
And so, um, be open with yourkids and and making sure, like,
(19:02):
if we're not hiding from themkids and and making sure, like
if we're not hiding from them,they won't hide from us.
So, being being open and havingthose healthy conversations and
saying, hey, um, you guys, can,you can tell me about anything
you want.
I'm not here to judge you, butI am here to parent you.
I'm here to guide you right,it's not not here to.
(19:24):
You're not going to get introuble, but I need to know what
you are doing right, I need toknow so that I can help guide
you.
Not not put you out or put youdown or do anything like that,
but I am here to guide you.
Certain things you can doonline and certain things we
shouldn't do.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
That's right until we get a little bit older I
remember when my kids was youknow you and I talked about this
earlier too like we are thegeneration that have both worlds
, like the world without theinternet, like that, and then
the world with the internet andI remember when my kids were
younger, um donna.
Speaker 3 (19:59):
Yeah, wow you take a shot at me again.
Oh no, we were talking about itearlier I was not.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
But since you said it , so anyway, swag on the play
pal, I was not.
You know when I'm coming at you.
Oh no, but for real, like wehaven't, like I mean, you grew
up straight.
Internet, like no I didn't wait.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
When's the first?
When was your first phone?
How old were you when you hadyour first phone?
Speaker 3 (20:32):
I don't remember you was that young no like she
wasn't yeah because a phone tome, like having minutes on the
phone, was not having like aphone.
Yeah, but that was the firstphone, though, but I wasn't that
young, but I wasn't that oldeither so about how old were you
(20:56):
?
Speaker 2 (20:57):
let me use the phone to call my mom, so remember, we
grew up with pay phones.
We still have to have a quarterin our pocket.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
Yeah, yeah, we started out of court.
I mean we had beepers and allthat and stuff like that um two
ways, but never.
But now I know like as the kidswere growing I was so a lot of
times a lot of parents parentout of fear, especially when we
come to digital right I rememberI wouldn't allow my kids to get
social media because I was likethere's too much going on with
(21:28):
social media, like kids weregetting kidnapped.
It was just a lot of negativethings about social media.
So I remember at one time Ithink my kids probably was like
the girls was probably like 12or 13 and they wanted an
Instagram account and I was likeno.
And then it was like well, Iexplained to them why.
Speaker 3 (21:47):
But they went behind my back, because that's what
kids do, and they got an.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
Instagram account they were sharing.
No, they both had their own.
So they was in the backseat ofmy car talking, and they was
talking about this.
Right, they gave themselves uplike what's going on?
Like I'm very attentive, I canhear without even looking at you
, right, I got ears behind myneck so.
So they were talking about itand I was like, wait what?
And it had an Instagram account.
(22:12):
So I was very upset because Iwas trying to explain to them
the dangers of it and I kind ofwent all the way out there
because I'm open with my kids,so I'm like so I gave them all
these crazy scenarios Right.
So I gave them all these crazyscenarios right about somebody
finding their information,coming up to the school, getting
them, and I was like andthey're not even just going to
have you in the same state youlive in, they're sending you
across state, across the country.
And then I was a little graphicy'all and I was.
(22:41):
I was like and then they'regoing to be putting stuff in all
your holes, like all your holes, your ears, your nose, like
everything.
And my girls was like wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait.
I don't understand what yousaid.
I said well, let me make myselfclear.
So I had to break it down tothem, to that, to them to
understand the fear behind why Idon't want you to be a part of
it.
But then, as time everybody wasin the digital world and
because chromebooks and ipadsand all this stuff and all these
(23:03):
apps and stuff, I had to startlearning about it a little bit
more.
And OK, now we have to havesome healthy boundaries around
it, like I can't hide and be infear of it.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
Yeah, you can't live in fear of it because it's here
and it's here to stay.
Simple as that.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
Period.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
Period Like technology is growing and
growing, and growing, and so wehave to just set those healthy
boundaries and guidelines andinstead of telling them about
the bad stuff, there's a lot ofeducational platforms that our
kids can utilize.
(23:43):
There are a lot of videos anddifferent things that they can
learn from.
Like you were talking aboutyour nephew and how he might
like certain things, so you canuse the internet, you can use
the social media to gain accessto those certain things that you
like.
So, say, my um, my son was intocars.
(24:06):
You can use those platforms togain access to learn how to deal
with cars you can learn how tomake cars.
You can learn how to fix cars.
You can learn how to paint carlike whatever it is finding the
beauty.
You can't just, you know, tellthem about the negative, but
(24:28):
there are other ways that youcan use those platforms and wow,
because that almost go back towhen tiff said the hiding thing,
like if if we not hiding themfrom them, they won't hide.
Speaker 3 (24:41):
So what you just saying all the negatives?
It's almost like you hidingstuff from them because is it
really this bad like?
I know a lot of people who haveit.
That's why they snuck you gotit, yeah, so it's like yeah no,
but like you said, these arethings that can really happen.
But these could be the benefits, but because you didn't have
much knowledge in that area ofthe app and different stuff,
(25:02):
it's like I just need you tostay away.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
Stay away.
Speaker 2 (25:05):
Instead of us.
Speaker 3 (25:07):
Let me do some research with you.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
Yeah, let's do the research together.
Let's do this together.
That can be a bonding momentwith you, and your child.
Speaker 3 (25:14):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
So embrace it.
I think, oh man, just you know,have.
I think, oh man, and just youknow, have them.
Teach you a little bit and letthem show you what they're doing
.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
And then you just monitor it.
I like what you said because,like it literally just checked
me.
Like, a lot of times inparenting we always talk about
the bad, what we don't want ourkids to do because a lot of us
are parenting out of fear, rightso what we don't want our kids
to get into, instead of showingthem the beauty and the things
that are here, like I thinkthat's just so amazing, like I
(25:47):
really do look at, and I don'teven know why I would look at
the internet so dark when I useit as a platform to help
motivate and give people tools,right, so why wouldn't I allow
my child to have that type ofaccess that will help them?
You know youtube, I'm I'm a fanof youtube university.
Let me tell you.
Let me tell you, what I did theother day yeah listen, y'all
(26:08):
know I'm a single mom out herein these streets.
Yes, I learned how to braidfrom youtube, okay, listen I
changed, let me tell you, I put,um, I changed my windshield
blades, right, I changed myengine air filter, okay, and I
changed my cabin air filter bymyself, you know what?
Speaker 3 (26:26):
because them fools were trying to charge me 300 to
do that and I was like I couldgo to amazon, order this down
the other.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
It's really, you just got to take the time.
So the guy across the street hecame, he was like I never seen
a woman put pop hood up likethat and I was like uh-huh, I'm
about to get busy, right?
Speaker 2 (26:41):
so yeah, and that's kind of what what I was alluding
to before like, use it as a wayto gain access to, to spark
interest and whatever in yourinterest and what what?
Speaker 1 (26:55):
have you so tiff?
Tell us how important thedigital world is, like break,
like we hear, like our users toaccess abnc, but tell us how
important digital citizenship iswell again.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
We want to have those positive and health, healthy
boundaries, so it is importantfor us as parents to set them
for our student, our children Ikeep calling them students and
baby shows that all these kidsyeah, they, they mind, but, um,
setting those boundaries andmonitoring um what your child is
doing online is very, veryimportant, because you don't
(27:34):
want them to go down the rabbithole, you don't want them to get
in those dark spaces and then,where you know it might be
messing with their mind or orwhat have you.
And then that's where I, as theschool counselor, have to come
in and say hey, parent, this iswhat your baby said today right
and we need to figure out whatwe need to do to help them get
(27:56):
from, get out of this space youguys monitor um all internet
access right so as um whatgrades do y'all start?
so each student will receive achromebook from kindergarten all
the way up to um, high school,12th grade, a senior year, um
senior seniors and um they getto take the device home at third
(28:21):
grade, oh, okay.
So kindergarten first andsecond grade in Brandywine
School District, anyway, theystay at the school, okay, but at
third grade, because that'swhere you know, third grade is a
transitional year.
That's when all that homeworkand stuff come in, they learning
new concepts and everything.
(28:43):
So they get to take theirchromebooks home then.
So, um, some parents say, hey,nope, we don't want it.
But and we accommodate thoseparents that say we don't want
the chromebook to come home, wow, we, we keep them at school
yeah, so I know um what my son's, when my daughters they went to
(29:05):
the same school, their schoolcounselor.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
I guess certain things get flagged.
That's what I was alluding to,I'm sorry about how you guys
monitor the usage, because Ididn't know this until my
daughter, the 16-year-old, whotested my anti-gangster, y'all,
y'all know I got a story fory'all, but I ain't.
I'm wait.
Oh, test my anti-gangster.
She got homecoming tomorrow soI'm trying to be nice, uh.
(29:29):
But she told me about I didn'tknow google docs right, like I
know what google docs is right,but she was explaining to me how
the kids like they pull up theyhave google docs and they talk
about people, they their images,like it's a lot of stuff like
these secret world.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
So they're sharing it with each other.
Yeah, so somebody is sharing aGoogle Doc with someone and then
they're just putting up hatefuland mean things.
Speaker 1 (29:55):
Yeah, that's and nobody knows like if the teacher
walked past, they could switchit or whatever on their
Chromebook, so you don't evenknow that they're engaging in
this kind of stuff.
But that's how a lot ofbackdoor bullying and things
like that.
Um, it was.
She was sharing someinformation, some bad
information that was put outabout this young lady, about
their whole living situation ofparents and everything, and I
(30:17):
was like kids talk about peoplelike that yeah, so.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
So at Brandywine we have what's called GoGuardian,
so the teachers are able to seewhat's on every single one of
our students their classesChromebook.
Speaker 3 (30:32):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
So if they're doing an assignment and say one
student, student A, decides notto do that assignment and do
something else, the teacher isable to see it and they are able
to shut it down.
Speaker 3 (30:46):
Yes, so when I was still teaching.
I'll never forget.
So I'm at the after-schoolprogram and this is during COVID
.
The kids, they there, and oneof the teachers, you know she
called a student name.
What you doing, I guess?
Just trying to give them awarning, Mm-hmm, and one of the
teachers, you know she called astudent name.
(31:07):
What you doing, I guess?
Just trying to give them awarning.
And they ain't doing nothing.
I keep hearing his name becalled by the teacher he's
supposed to be in class with.
I said what are you doing?
Why are you supposed to be onthat?
He ain't going to tell me likeyou know the teacher cut the
whole thing off and I sat thereand she was like thank you, mrs
Chapman, and I said, oh, like,basically I told, because I said
what are you doing?
(31:28):
Like, should you be on it?
He's playing the whole game,yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:37):
And she's basically giving you like a warning.
Like I can see it, I can see it.
She just shut the whole thingdown.
So now you, you missing pointsand now your grade is being
affected because you're notdoing your assignments.
Yep, I'm like, oh my gosh, I'mglad that they could monitor it
because, like you said, well, Iknow kindergartners that are
able to take their Chromebookshome and I was like that's a lot
(31:58):
.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
Yeah, I mean because they got their iPads at home and
stuff.
But transporting that,transporting.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
I think we used to excuse me.
We used to allow ourkindergartners, our
kindergartner, second grade taketheir Chromebooks home.
However, we thought I think ourdistrict kind of looked back on
it and thought about it and
Speaker 3 (32:23):
was like let's keep them here.
Oh, let's just keep them here.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
Parents are not using them.
Right or we got to pay for them, because they're breaking and
stuff like that.
They're handling them.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
Yes, they do.
They have to sign an agreement.
Speaker 3 (32:36):
And if they break them?
Speaker 2 (32:38):
they have to pay for them.
Yes, also, our district doesdoes monitor our searches, the
searches for the students so um,we can get flagged for certain
searches, certain searches thatif there's a threat, any type of
threat, right it'll get flaggedand and then the principal will
(33:01):
get called and say we need togo and check on this student and
we will have to take theChromebook and do a whole
investigation on it.
Speaker 1 (33:11):
I think parents don't even realize that.
You know that you can do thaton your own your kids' stuff.
You can flag pages, you can setup their search engine, you can
do like that's the good thingabout this digital world, their
phones, tablets, whatever it isthat they have.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
you can set those um up wow so what you want them to
see and have access to so.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
So, in this digital world and us parents who are
trying to navigate without beingfearful um what are some, some
tools or such techniques that wecan, you can, share with
parents to be a little bit morecomfortable with um exploring
the idea of digital citizenshipyeah, just um, guide the
(33:58):
conversations that you have withyour children.
Speaker 2 (34:01):
guide them to Let them know what you expect.
Set down those boundaries andexpectations.
Tell them that you know, keepyour private information private
, making sure that you're notsending over things, sending
stuff across that you don't want.
If you don't want mama to seeit, don't send it.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
Right.
Speaker 2 (34:22):
Period.
If you don't want me to see it,don't send it Right.
Period.
If you don't want me to see it,don't send it Right Like reread
what you're putting out thereand making sure that we are just
like in society.
You want to treat people theway you want to be treated Right
.
So making sure that, evendigitally, we're treating others
(34:43):
the way we want to be treated,because we get some online
people that get very, very buff.
Speaker 1 (34:49):
They hide behind a keyboard and they want to say
and do whatever they want?
Speaker 2 (34:52):
Yes, but come in person.
You don't want to say nothing?
Let's not do that.
Speaker 1 (34:58):
Yeah, you can tell, I seen them.
They was talking that beef onthere and then, all of a sudden,
they showed up at school let'slet the school counselor talk
about A, b and C all that theyput out there, right, let's not
do that.
Speaker 2 (35:14):
And then cyberbullying we want to make
sure that our children aren'tbeing cyberbullied and they're
not bullying others right onlinebecause, like I said, people
want to act big and bad behindthe screen, but remember our
students.
They are kids, they're goingback to school.
So if you're saying somethingonline negative about a
(35:37):
classmate or something, you'regoing back to school with them
yeah so, and you're young,you're gonna be with them for a
long time, like yeah, so thatyou know that's something that,
um we're dealing with even atthe elementary school.
So yeah, so that's just, youknow.
Just be mindful that, um becareful, is it?
Speaker 3 (36:01):
happening in like kindergarten and first grade, or
is it more so like that thirdmore?
Speaker 2 (36:07):
like fourth and fifth grade.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
Yeah, cause when you think about it, I don't know if
you guys seen like I see a lotof stuff on, you know, the
internet or CNN and stuff likethat about kids committing
suicide, right when we talkabout cyber bullying, and
they're getting younger andyounger and they're getting
younger, like when you said orwe talk about cyber bullying, um
, and they're getting youngerand younger and they're getting
younger, like when you said, orwe talk about kindergarten,
there's kindergartners, five andsix year olds, who are actually
committing suicide, and that'sthe other thing I wanted to talk
(36:30):
about.
Not only like they're beingcyber bullied right, but then
they're researching and figuringout how to kill themselves.
So that's this danger about theinternet and that's the scary.
Speaker 3 (36:38):
Talking to the phone, yeah, and that's and that's
what I said.
Speaker 2 (36:43):
Our district monitors that stuff.
So any threat, any type ofthreat, so if they type in those
key words about, you know, say,school shootings or suicide or
bombing or something like, thatour district is already alerted.
So as soon as our students arekeying in those words, so we are
(37:07):
alerted.
And then that's when we have totake action.
Speaker 1 (37:11):
Do you recommend that parents, when we talk about
monitoring you know theirdigital activity?
Do you recommend that parentsgo in the kids phone, in our
children's phone, like, look atsome tech, because you know,
know, everything is on privacynow, uh, privacy, look in, look
at our text messages, look attheir phone logs, see what
they've been searching on theinternet.
Um, do you recommend thatparents do that?
(37:34):
Because I feel like this isjust my personal opinion about
parenting is that a lot of kidsdon't know right?
Speaker 3 (37:40):
what they don't know.
They don't know, they don'tknow what they don't know.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
So our job as a parent is supposed to know what
they don't know and teach themwhat they don't know, Right?
So if it takes me going, I textmy kid phone.
Let me see your phone Unlockyour phone?
Speaker 3 (37:53):
Yeah, because you know they lock their phones.
Speaker 1 (37:58):
That's what I thought you was going to way.
Do you recommend going throughtheir?
Speaker 2 (38:02):
phone.
I would you know, have thatconversation with them.
You know you have aconversation, like our kids.
They have a voice and we haveto make sure that we're
listening to them.
Yeah, they might say somethingabout privacy, this, that and
the third, but let them knowthat you're there to support and
guide them and sometimes, likeyou guys just said, they don't
(38:24):
know what they don't know.
So I go through my kids' phones, I go through my mom's phone.
Speaker 1 (38:29):
Listen first of all.
Speaker 3 (38:30):
I painted this.
I go through my mom's phone.
She my baby too.
Speaker 2 (38:37):
No, but I would go through their phone, but I would
also tell them why.
Speaker 1 (38:42):
Don't have that conversation, don't just, but I
would also tell them why.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
Don't have that conversation, don't just do it
and not tell them why.
Because, in this day and age,our kids need to know why, and
they deserve that.
They deserve that understandingof why you're doing what you're
doing.
Speaker 1 (38:55):
That's good, tiff, because I think long are the
days where you just do itbecause I said so, or this is
how I feel.
I think having communicationwith our kids.
I think that's why our kids arebrighter than we were at our
age, because they know so much,and sometimes people say, oh,
they know too much.
No, they know enough to makesure that they can make clear
and decisive decisions.
Speaker 2 (39:16):
Our kids have a voice , like you said, and I want them
to reach their full potential.
Speaker 1 (39:20):
Yeah, like there you go.
I think a lot of times and noslight to parents who, from back
in the day, but a lot of timesparents hinder and stifle their
children based on fear or youknow, they didn't even.
I feel like when you researchparents and back in the day it
was all about food, clothes andshelter.
It was not about mental.
(39:41):
It was not about food, clothesand shelter.
It was not about mental.
It was not about emotional.
It was about I just did a groupworkshop the other day and we
were talking about activelistening and expressing
emotions effectively, right, anda lot of times the things that
they were saying in there wewere talking about it's
transgenerational, like one ladyshared that she wasn't able to,
(40:03):
um, share her emotions as achild, so when she became adult,
she just became over emotional.
I'm grown now and I can shareevery emotion, but because it
wasn't tapped in as a, you'renot supposed to cry, you're not
supposed to do all thesedifferent things and I think our
children we just live in adifferent day and age where our
children need to beknowledgeable in order to be
their best, like you said reachtheir potential yeah, and how do
(40:26):
we know that there's somethinggoing on with our child?
Right If we ain't talking tothem.
Speaker 2 (40:32):
If we're not talking to them, they're going to act
out.
So where is this behaviorcoming from?
Speaker 3 (40:37):
Why are they?
Speaker 2 (40:38):
behaving this way.
So behavior is a way ofcommunication.
Know so behavior is a way ofcommunication.
Know that behavior is a way ofcommunication.
Speaker 1 (40:47):
So if all of a sudden .
Wait, can you say that again?
Because I like that?
No, because people look atbehavior as such a negative
thing, but it's an indication.
Speaker 2 (40:55):
It's an indication.
It's an indication they'recommunicating with you,
especially when you say theydon't really act like that
usually.
Well, why are they acting likethat now?
So they're communicatingsomething and we just have to be
open up our minds and open upour eyes and listen to what is
happening.
Listen to them.
(41:16):
They have a voice.
Yeah, you know they are.
They might not be able toexpress everything, yeah, but
they are telling you something.
So it is up to us, as parents,to figure out what they're
telling us right.
Speaker 1 (41:31):
So one another question I had for you.
How so?
I was at um a parentingworkshop probably a couple
months ago, and one of thegentlemen he was a police
officer and he was talking aboutsomething that was new to me, I
didn't know.
Like, when you look at the appson the phones and if you see
double apps, they're secret appsor something like that.
Like, say, if you've got twocalculators, why do my kid got
it?
Speaker 2 (42:00):
Like, can you talk about when you actually look at
a phone and kind of getwallpapers and everything that I
don't know?
Whatever the app is, it'ssomething different from the
wallpaper or they have it in adifferent language or something.
So just be careful on and knowwhat apps are what.
So there are some you canresearch what apps your children
(42:25):
shouldn't be.
Um on um, there, I forget thename of all of them.
I did have a paper of um theapps that adult that are, you
know, not negative apps, but, um, our kids like to get on them a
lot of times.
So we will just have to, youknow, depending on your child's
(42:47):
age and who they are, just youknow, just monitor, just tell
them open it, yeah because itthrew me for a loop when he said
yo, if your child got twocalculators on their phone, what
do you think that?
Speaker 1 (42:58):
oh, it's called the vault, Vault, A vault.
These kids, these are highschool kids that's different
kids.
They're a little sad but it'scalled the vault.
It's where it's under lock andkey, like only them can open it
up.
So if you have, you may havetwo calculators or two calendars
.
One of them's a real calendar,one is a fake calendar.
That's the vault.
That allow you to have accessto all these other things that
(43:20):
you're not supposed to.
I feel like if your kid got tobe that sneaky, like they know
that there's something wrongalready.
Speaker 3 (43:27):
But going back to what Tiff was saying, and we've
talked about it before payingattention to your child's
behavior, you know, not gettingso caught up in this or that,
but communicating with them,having that open line of
communication and not justletting, letting oh, how was
your day, oh, it was good.
Not letting that be enough get alittle bit more detail because
(43:49):
with my five-year-old I want toknow why it was good and
sometimes she give me the littleirritating and I'll be like, oh
, you can't because I want totalk about this, and I was like,
okay, well, we can talk aboutthat after this.
I need to know why music wasgood, or what did we learn in
math today?
because maybe I can help you insomething, maybe you can teach
me something new, you know, andjust having that rapport and
(44:13):
also like mental health things.
I know you might want perfectattendance, but your mental
health is like important to meperfect attendance, but your
mental health is important to me.
Speaker 2 (44:25):
My seven-year-old will tell me all this.
I just don't feel like goingtoday.
All right, babe, lay down, andif she's up crying and won't get
up, she's sleepy, let her rest.
Speaker 3 (44:37):
Because then you send them to school and it's so much
you got to deal with that.
And then it's like I know whatit feels like to be a teacher
and have that kid that's justdoing so much.
And you're like why didn't youjust let them?
Like you know that sick kid,you would stay at home.
Yeah, that's how it is.
When that behavior startscoming up, Like why didn't you
(45:00):
just let them stay home?
Speaker 2 (45:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (45:02):
So I'm going to put a little flag on this play.
Go ahead.
Speaker 3 (45:10):
Because it's not an everyday thing.
No, I know I want y'all to flag.
Speaker 1 (45:13):
On the flag pause yield.
Can you elaborate what a mentalhealth day looks like, should
feel like, or a sign that thatchild needs a mental health day?
because here's the thing likekids are could be very
manipulative right oh yeah, andI think that's one of the
reasons we talk about reallyhaving a relationship with your
child so you can understandwhat's going on.
But on the flip side, how doyou know that kid need a mental
(45:38):
health day?
Because I got my 16-year-old totest my inner game set and if
she could get a mental healthday every day, she would, I'm
telling y'all, mental healthdays aren't every day, that's
what I'm saying?
Speaker 3 (45:49):
How well do you say Tate.
Speaker 2 (45:51):
Again, we have to understand the behavior, you
will know.
You will know.
You will just say likesomething's wrong, what's wrong,
and they might be like I'm fine, or whatever.
They might have a little bitmore attitude that week.
They might be a little bit moresleepy that week.
They might go to bed a littleearlier.
You know, um, mine, like I saidmy, I have a seven-year-old
(46:15):
she'll.
She'll cry, you know, and justlike in stumping everything,
like just a little bit moreextra, a little bit extra, just
a little bit extra.
Speaker 1 (46:23):
Like she has some glitter to it, yeah, she extra
but this one, this type timeshe's yeah, all right, girl rock
out that's when you like, Iknow I'm with the one that
tested my ligandster I'm alwayson top of I'll, I'll become
overstimulated, and when theywere younger, like I, always
there's certain words, keywordsthat I did so I didn't snap out
(46:47):
on them or whatever, like ifit's becoming too much, I'm
overstimulated.
So there, so that they knowthey have a key word, or you
know so you taught them that.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (46:58):
And they know when to back off.
Speaker 1 (47:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (47:01):
You know so if you keep that line of communication
open, especially if you have ateen, adolescent, someone that
can vocalize what is going on onthe inside.
So we got to understand thatour feelings and our kids have
feelings too, right, and we needto validate those feelings.
There you go and we need tovalidate those emotions that
(47:23):
they are having.
So, and it's OK that they havethose feelings, it's OK that you
feel sad today.
Speaker 1 (47:30):
It's okay that you feel sad today.
Speaker 2 (47:31):
It's okay that you feel angry today, but we can't
do it all day long, right?
Speaker 1 (47:36):
Definitely I like that.
So I like the fact that it'sokay, Like it's okay for you to
be angry for a moment.
I will be mad too.
It's okay for you to be sadLike I feel, like we think that
our kids are supposed to berobots and they're supposed to
be happy all the time or havejoy all the time or not be like
(47:58):
how they respond to certainthings, like they're growing,
they're growing.
Speaker 2 (48:01):
They're still learning.
You'll be mad sometimes tooright.
Speaker 3 (48:04):
Like you, angry.
You said sometimes you don'twant to go to work, so that's
why I don't always and andrealistically, realistically
adults are learning how tomanage their emotions absolutely
that's like every day.
Speaker 2 (48:20):
We're still we're still learning how to manage our
emotions and you want a 10 yearold to manage their emotion
right because they're not going.
Speaker 1 (48:29):
If they don't get it, they won't do so we're not
being that role model, theexample of how to really manage
our emotions?
How do we expect our childrento manage their emotions?
Speaker 2 (48:39):
so if I pop off every time somebody says something to
me, what you think my childgonna do?
Speaker 1 (48:43):
they're gonna pop off and then you mad at them for
popping off.
Well, some parents are mad forthem for popping off, yeah, but
some parents are like, oh, let'sgo get them.
Speaker 2 (48:50):
Like yeah, but you know so you?
Speaker 1 (48:54):
do you get those tips or do you get parents come up
to the school?
And when they come up to theschool, do they not act a fool
sometimes?
I mean some parents pop offthough.
Right, some parents don't know,but they want they want the
best for their child and theydon't know, how they to handle
it, and they don't know how toeffectively communicate it.
Speaker 3 (49:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (49:14):
And that's why I'm here.
Speaker 3 (49:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (49:17):
I listen to them.
I understand what you're saying.
Okay, we want the same thing.
Speaker 1 (49:23):
Right.
Speaker 2 (49:26):
And then I just try to communicate that we're on the
same page.
That part we are partners hereand I want what you want and I'm
going to make sure that you getwhat you want from the school
Right.
Speaker 3 (49:40):
But you got to make sure you're doing your part too
as a parent.
No, I'm serious, because whenVictoria's teacher called and
said that, I heard her go likelike a sigh.
Speaker 1 (49:51):
So I'm like.
Speaker 3 (49:51):
I don't know if she had a previous phone call where
the parent drilled her or whatyeah, yeah.
But she's like thank you somuch for being receptive.
Speaker 2 (49:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (49:59):
Because sometimes it's stuff you want to talk
about and you don't want to say,because you don't want to know
how that parent is going to comeup.
Right, right, it's like youdon't want to know how that
parent is going to come up.
It's like you don't want todeal with that.
I just want the best for yourscholar at the end of the day,
and the only way I can have thebest for your scholar is if I
know what you're doing at hometoo.
Speaker 2 (50:16):
Yeah, and just know, you know.
Speaker 1 (50:23):
She got her own flag the yellow thing right there.
Flag on her plate.
Just know that we want the samething.
Speaker 2 (50:30):
We Like we're flying on a plane, just so that we want
the same thing.
We want the same thing.
And you know, teachers,administrators, counselors,
social workers, everybody, whenwe're calling home, when we're
calling families, we want what'sbest for your child.
Speaker 1 (50:42):
Right.
Speaker 2 (50:43):
We want what's best for your child.
We're not there to judge, we'renot there to point the blame.
We're not there to do any ofthat.
We're there to help and beingable to receive some information
so that we can move forward andgive this support that is
needed.
Sometimes we have to have hardconversations.
(51:04):
Yes, we have to have those hardconversations and parents you
may not want to hear it all thetime, right, but somebody is
it's necessary and we need tocome together as a team and work
it out.
Speaker 1 (51:21):
Yes, I like that.
I think that again, as westarted the show, we talked
about parental involvement andnot separating everything.
Everything wants to beseparated.
A cake ain't good if you gotthe flour on the side, if you
got the sugar on the side, thevanilla.
I'm not eating all that byitself.
I need it all mixed together,right, mix it together and bake
it, and bake it.
Yeah, like if things aren'tmeant to be.
(51:43):
Some things are meant to be bythemselves.
But when we talk about ourchildren and this parental
involvement, like in thismandate on parenting, like we
are responsible for our childrenyeah, our children are a gift.
I don't know about y'all, but Imake sure I handle my gifts
well.
You know one do you view yourchild as a gift?
And if you do, how do youhandle that child and understand
(52:06):
that?
This, this partnership withthese teachers and schools, it's
necessary.
I noticed that and just bytalking to other teachers and
Pam, we talked to Abriel whentalking about that, they're not
just dealing with the academicaspect of our children, they're
dealing with the behaviors,they're dealing with the social
(52:26):
aspect of it, they're dealingwith everything, and also if you
guys are going to go homesafely to your kids, because we
have these actor shooter drills.
We have this.
You know people shooting upkids.
So it's not just I'm just hereto educate your kid, I'm here to
make sure your kid they're safe.
They're safe.
Speaker 2 (52:47):
We make sure that the kids are safe.
We make sure that the kids areeducated.
We make sure that the kids areeducated.
We make sure that the kids areemotionally stabilized.
We make sure that the kids aresocially good.
You know, we teach all of that.
We teach not only academics.
(53:07):
We don't just teach math andreading and writing.
We teach social, emotionallearning.
We teach emotion management.
We teach regulation skills, weteach coping skills.
We teach all of that stuffwithin that little bit of time
that we have or not, let alonethe related arts.
(53:28):
They have um phys ed.
They have art.
They have um library and musicand and other things.
Some of them have stem, some ofthem have they have a lot going
on just know that our teacherswork diligently to make sure
that they provide a qualityeducation for our kids.
Speaker 1 (53:49):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (53:49):
They work overtime.
I have some teachers that stayat work until 6, 7 o'clock at
night, and they are not gettingpaid for that.
They come to work at 7.30 whenthey don't have to be there till
8.30.
They are there at the crack ofdawn to make sure that they are
(54:10):
providing the best education forour kids wow and parents don't
see that.
All the time they don't see it.
But I see our, our staff.
They are there day in and dayout.
Speaker 1 (54:26):
They are there at the forefront that's good and
that's why parental involvementis so important, so that it's a
whole team effort, because weall want the best for our kids.
I don't think no parent wakesup and say, I don't want my kid
to be successful right, likeeverybody wants their kid to be
successful, right, whateversuccess means in their life.
It's just that having theproper tools to make sure that
that happens, um, I love thefact that.
(54:49):
I love the fact that the kindof school counselor you are.
Oh, thank you you know, evenknowing you as a person like
this matches you likeholistically when you think
about it like, it's not like I'mthis way at this place, I'm
this.
You know, putting all thesedifferent hats on, you're
literally the same person as youare in real life, as a teacher
(55:10):
and as a school counselor, and Ithink that that is so important
that we need real, authenticpeople in these sectors so that
our children can grow to theirgreatest potential.
Speaker 2 (55:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (55:22):
And parental involvement is so important, you
know, because parents are thefirst educators, the first
cheerleaders, the first teachers, the first, everything.
Speaker 2 (55:29):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (55:30):
And if we don't get that straight, it's going to
make you guys job a lot harderand some things are going to be
deficient, and because you haveto come up in a different area,
right, um, so all right, it'sbeen a pleasure, tiff, give us a
couple takeaways quick, whatyou want the people to know.
Speaker 2 (55:51):
I want everyone to just make sure that you have, in
those conversations with yourkids about digital citizenship,
make sure you have opencommunication with them, make
sure that your kids know thatyou are there to guide them and
not be like all in theirbusiness, as they would call it,
and not be like all in theirbusiness, as they would call it,
(56:11):
but you're there to guide themand make sure that they're
keeping healthy, making healthyrelationships online.
Also, setting tech boundaries,healthy boundaries, putting, you
know, setting aside a time forthem to have those digital
platforms, or set it when thereis time to, you know, charge
(56:34):
your phone, charge it and notbuy your bed, or put it on the
dresser and charge it, or, youknow, just making sure that they
are able to get this bed ontime and things like that.
Speaker 1 (56:46):
Okay, Wow, thank you.
So if you guys want to knowmore about digital citizenship,
on our page panther with apurpose page on facebook, we
will have this information on.
There's things that tiffanyshared with us today, and she
has some more resources forparents in regard to digital
citizenship and other resourcesthat she's going to allow to be
on our page.
So check our page, our pantherwith a purpose on facebook, and
(57:08):
you'll be able to tap into thisdigital world and not be in so
much fear, like we can use it assomething positive, especially
when we know that the world isdigital.
Even currency is digital.
Now, you know.
So we can't be ignorant andavoiding the situation.
We just have to do it thehealthiest way possible.
Thank you, tiff, for coming onthe show.
Pam, what you got?
(57:29):
What's our?
Speaker 3 (57:30):
outro.
Speaker 1 (57:30):
What you got, what you got, what you got.
Speaker 3 (57:33):
I just want to say to Tiff, thank you so much for
your knowledge, for taking yourjob serious and speaking on
behalf of not just yourself butthe administration, the staff as
a whole, as a whole body.
So not just Brandywine SchoolDistrict, but for all counselors
, all teachers, whatever roleyou may play in the education
(57:54):
and educational field, and evenas a parent, because you are
also a parent.
So you didn't just give it frombeing a counselor, no, you gave
it from a genuine position thatyou play, that you take serious
.
So I thank you so much for yourtransparency as well and giving
us these resources so that wecan give it to the Parenting
(58:16):
with a Purpose community andhelp our community be better, so
that we can have a better worldat the end of the day, all
right.
Thank you for joining Parenting,thank you so much for joining
Parenting with a Purpose.
I am your co-host, Pamela, andI'm your host.
Speaker 1 (58:32):
Donna Janelle, you guys have a great night.
We'll be back.
What'd I say?
It's normally, thank you.
Thank you.
Hey everybody, welcome back toPanther with a Purpose.
(01:49):
I am your host, donna Janelle,and I am your co-host, pamela,
and we have a guest here today,tiffany Barnes.
Hello, tiff, welcome to thestudio.
What's going on, tiff?
All right, so, as you know,panther with a Purpose, we are
here to bring awareness, tobring knowledge, to bring
whatever you need as far asparenting, the whole space of
parenting.
(02:09):
We know that parents are thebows.
Our children are arrows, andthey will land wherever we aim
them, as long as we give themthe tools, as long as we equip
them and don't send them outsidenaked.
Why?
Because the world will dressour kids with whatever.
Y'all see what's going on now.
I don't even got to get into it, do y'all see what's going on
(02:30):
now, what these kids are beingdressed with?
So here, our focus is to makesure that you get the
information that you need sothat you can be successful.
So tonight, though, you know,we've been dealing a lot with um
, school.
We've been dealing withparental involvement.
Um, whether in school or evenjust in the community, parents
just need to be involved.
There's a mandate on parentingright now, and we're here to
tell you that there is a mandateand that we are responsible to
(02:51):
bring back the responsibilities,nobility and beauty back into
parenting.
So tonight, our guest, tiffanyuh, you want to go by Tiff or
Tiffany, what you either.
One T, what's going on?
So Tiffany is a schoolcounselor, she is a master's in
education, right, yes?
(03:11):
So tell us a little bit aboutyourself, what you do, you know
whatever you want the audienceto know, and then we're going to
dig right into what we'reactually talking about tonight,
which is a very eye opening,enlightening for me.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
So, as Donna said, my name is Tiffany Barnes.
I am an elementary schoolcounselor with the Brandywine
School District.
I work at Maple Lane ElementarySchool.
I've been an educator for over20 years and a school counselor
for just about nine years.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
Oh, wow.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Yeah, so I have taught every level, from pre-K
all the way up to like eighthgrade.
So I'm elementary, middleschool level.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
And that's one of them high school kids.
Huh, no, that's not my story.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
No, and so I provide personal, social, emotional,
academic supports in the classesthrough small groups and
individuals.
So I work closely with everyoneadmin, teachers, students,
families the list goes on and on.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
It's like a whole melting pot, you it?
Speaker 3 (04:18):
Yeah, I'm it, Because that was one of my questions.
I was going to say do you dealpersonally with the family, such
as the parents or guardians andthat nature?
Speaker 2 (04:26):
yes, how's that experience um?
I like it.
Uh, hopefully you know thefamilies like me listen you
still in it.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
They vote you out of the school.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Yes, no, so yeah, um, I try to build relationships
with our students and with ourfamilies.
I try to maintain thoserelationships and make sure that
they know that you know I'mhere to listen to them, I'm here
for them to be heard.
So, and if I can help in anyway, I do it.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
Absolutely so.
Have you been at this schoolfrom your 20 years that you've
been in education?
Speaker 2 (05:02):
so I started at maple lane, maybe 10 years ago,
something like that.
Okay, no, nine, it was nine.
So I started at maple lane nineyears ago.
I became the second gradeteacher there for a year and
then that summer I was the umour school counselor moved to
another school and then I becamethe school counselor because
(05:24):
wow.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
I had that degree now , did you always want to be a
school counselor?
Because I know you know,because that's a little
different from just being ateacher in the classroom, like
yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
I think I always wanted to work with children.
Counseling, um, yeah, okay, Ithought I thought I was going to
work with adults at first, butchildren are my passion,
something about them kids right.
Something about them.
You know, they tug on myheartstrings.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
So do you have to go inside the homes?
Speaker 2 (05:52):
I don't.
Not often I would say, but if Ineed to, I will.
So we do have a social workerthat the social worker will go
do home visits.
But if I need to do a homevisit I, um, I can oh, wow, you
know I thought about that.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
Um, I don't.
When I was younger.
I don't recall anybody comingto no home visits for for from
school or anything.
I remember them called cps.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
No other people came yeah, no so we sometimes we know
our families, so sometimes ourfamilies, families might need a
little nudge or a little homevisit from you know, our admin
or myself, our social worker.
So we will do that, we'll doour due diligence before we call
or anything like that.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
You remember the movie Lean on Me, I might be
dating.
Oh, you do.
Okay, come on, flag, sis.
I'm sorry, sis, I'm sorry, Iwas just saying, I was just
wanting to make sure that youwas gonna.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
Okay, I'm sorry so lean on you, it's kind of enough
all day.
She don't got her new brain.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Little crinkles on the end lean on me right and
remember they went into the homelike to go check and see what
was going on and they found outsituation, circumstances and
then the school was able to helpand provide for that family
because they got a chance tohave a deeper look like I was
wondering if that goes like.
I don't think that goes on now,but that would be like it does.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
That's a nice help.
So schools are part of thecommunity, yeah, so we are here
to help.
We're not just here to educate.
So there are resources that weprovide that a lot of families
may not know.
Like, again, we have a schoolsocial worker, so and they will
be able to provide our families.
(07:40):
Like, of course, you have toit's protocols and things that
you have to do and to qualifyfor those resources but if you
qualify for those resources, youwill get them.
Wow, and schools are there.
They are there to help.
They are there to providedifferent like, if you need food
, we have food.
(08:01):
We partner with the Food Bankof Delaware.
Wow or we partner with.
You know, if you need someclothes, we will make a way.
Our PTOs, our PTAs, they willhelp.
Like there are resources withinthe school systems that are
there for families.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
So my next thing is I remember in high school having
a guidance counselor.
I believe there were some inmiddle school, but I didn't have
to deal with them personally, Iwas more so administration.
But at this grade level, how doyou like get connected?
Do you have to like sign yourchildren up to have you know the
(08:42):
guidance counselor Like howdoes that work?
Is it like IEPs?
Speaker 2 (08:47):
or so, with um the um Bernie Wine School District.
We are uh MTSS um schooldistrict, which is a
multi-tiered systems of supportoh wait, that's new, that's
something different too yeah, sowe have different tiers, so um
we provide interventions for allof our students.
Speaker 3 (09:05):
So we have.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
Tier 1 interventions and Tier 1 is for all students.
Okay, Every single one.
Not anyone is left behind inthose interventions.
Okay, then you have what isTier 2 and Tier 3.
Tier 2 are students that needsome more support besides just
those Tier 1.
So they'll keep getting thoseTier 1 supports but they might
(09:26):
need a little bit of extrasupport in that Tier 2 process.
The Tier 3 students is a littlesmall group of students that
might need a little bit moreintervention.
So any one of those tiers, theydon't stop those interventions.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
They keep the Tier 1, the Tier 2, two and they will
also receive a tier threeintervention wow, I think you
know I don't know if a lot ofparents know, um how much
support there is available forhow many resources it is, um,
because I didn't even know andI'm a I I kind of think that I
(10:02):
know a lot about resources forparents and I didn't even know
it's at those levels.
I think that it's so important,though, to be that multi-tier,
multi, because to be support, Ilike what you said earlier, tiff
.
You said that we are not herejust to educate your kids.
No, can you break that down alittle bit more?
Speaker 2 (10:21):
So we, like I said, we are a community, we are a
family, we are a family, we areyour extended family.
So when I come in my schoolbuilding, those are my babies,
okay, so if you know that I'm inyour school, just know that I'm
taking care of your babies,because I treat them like I
would treat my own kids, becauseyou know, and it's not planned,
(10:42):
I'm not planned.
I am not playing because theyare mine I get it I make sure
that they are safe, we, we keepthem safe and and everything but
um.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
Yeah, like we are like an extended family I think
that is so important because wetalk about parental involvement,
that's what we've really beentalking about.
like you know, my thing thisyear and everything I talk about
deal is around here we put inthe work.
Right, that's the thing.
Like parents do it with apurpose.
Around here we put in the work.
And it's just such a mandate onparents putting in the work
because every time there'ssomething going on with a kid,
(11:13):
the first thing they do is saywhere's the parents, what's
going on?
And my question is have weresourced those parents?
Speaker 3 (11:17):
that's good that you said that, don't you start with
me.
It's good that you said thatbecause if you don't know, you
know how can you utilize theresources?
Because, like I said, Iremember it in high school, I'm
sure they were there in middleschool, but, like you said, it
(11:39):
was certain criteria.
But why do I have to be labeledor marked as this to have those
resources?
So what, uh, in your schooldistrict, what is something that
the parents have to do so theycan be informed of those
resources that aren't just, youknow, on packets, on the website
given out, on different agendasand calendars and things of
(12:02):
that nature?
Speaker 2 (12:03):
So let me um see if you are asking me.
If I'm understanding yourquestion, how do families get
involved with school counselorsin?
Speaker 3 (12:15):
my district.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
So again, I'm there for the whole school.
So it's not just certainstudents see me, it's not just
certain things.
Certain students might get alittle bit more of me, but I'm
there to service the wholestudent, all of the students, so
that I go into the classrooms,I teach lessons in the classroom
, I teach small groups and I maysee some individuals, but I am
(12:40):
there for the entire school.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
I think that holistic approach is so amazing because
so many times I don't know ify'all noticed like in this world
, in this culture that we livein, we want to separate
everything, separate the churchfrom the schools, separate the
church from the state, separate.
That's even been a separationof parenting in these sectors as
well, and it's like how do we,how do why are we separating
(13:06):
things?
That?
What if, like you're, you'reonly strong when you have
multiple people like you can'tbe an island.
I tried that parenting thing onmy own.
You know, really been an island, not tapping the resources.
Man, I almost killed myselfwith that one.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
No, we have to be a unified front and our students
have to see that they, that weare unified front.
So say you your baby came to myschool, so your baby needs to
see that me and you talk yeah,we have to have that open line
of communication, you know, inorder for them to see that, man,
I can't play two sides can'tplay.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
Can't play with it.
Can't play with it yo becausekids I got my first phone call
this week.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
Uh-oh, I did and it wasn't like bad, but I really
appreciated the phone call Meand the teacher like communicate
through email.
But something she said is Ireally thank you so much for
being a parent that is not justbig on education Like you, want
to know full circle.
(14:03):
And I was like, oh, of, ofcourse, because I don't want my
kid, I don't want my kid beingthe kid that, oh, is excelling,
but because of behavior, youcan't really do what you need to
do.
You can't have access tocertain things.
So you making a grade but yourbehavior sucks.
Yeah, I don't want that.
So I need to know everything Isaid.
So if you need to call me, ifyou need to hit me on the app,
(14:25):
do what you need to do.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Show up at my house, hey, tiff, what's up, because
we're not we're not just raisingan academic child, we're not
just raising right, we'reraising one that needs to be
socially, emotionally.
Um, well, we need one to bewell within the mental health.
We need one to be wellacademically, socially,
educationally everywhere,especially socially, with your
(14:51):
family and your schools, yeahall of that
Speaker 1 (14:55):
I think that is so important because I think about
my job as a nurse right, I dealwith medical complex p's and
when you say that your babieslike these babies are my babies
like I take care of them as ifthe parents be laughing, they be
like, look at you with her.
Yes, because this is my baby.
I make sure that everything isstraight and that I partner with
the parent if I noticesomething or something like I'm
I'm all about preventive and itsounds like that's what you're
(15:16):
gaming at.
It's like everybody is haveaccess to you, because it's not
just about where we're proactive, not just reactive.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
We can't.
We can't be reactive because ifwe're reacting to something
behind the eight ball, yeah allright, so talk to us.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Tiff about.
Um.
So the hot topic tonight isthis digital thing.
Like you got this whole digitalcitizenship thing, so I want
you to explain to us about.
You know, this did like when Ithink about citizenship, I'm
thinking about being in anothercountry or like something
foreign.
Right, like I got it, I'm nowbecoming a citizen of the United
States or UK or something likethat.
(15:54):
So talk about this citizencitizenship.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
So if you think about citizenship, you thinking of
you know, understanding andadhering to the rules and the
regulations of you know whereyou living, right, right.
So digital citizenship is apositivity existing in the
digital world, in digital spaces.
So we want to make sure thatour children are being positive
(16:19):
digital citizens.
So that's new times, girl.
Yeah, not cyber bullying, andwe don't want them to send out
negative images and differentthings out into the digital
world because a lot of times wecan't take it back.
So once it's out there.
It's out there and you can'ttake it back.
So we know that.
(16:40):
You know, as we're growing upin this age, there's new things
happening more and more digitalspaces, more and more apps, more
and more platforms, more andmore different things that our
kids can have access to.
So we want to make sure that weare monitoring those devices,
(17:00):
we're monitoring those spaces sothat they are getting a
positive result back.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
Right, you said earlier before we started the
show, we were talking about thisa little bit and, um, not
avoiding like we can't avoid thedigital world, because that's
just what we are and it's not, Ithink, at least for me.
Um, everything is not alwaysbad.
Right things that are meant tobe good can't be used for bad.
(17:29):
Yes, but it's all about theindividual or the organization
of how they use that.
So how do we remain positive insuch a digital world where it
seems so dark?
Speaker 2 (17:40):
yeah.
So just like we say, in eatingsomething, say you know I like
cake or whatever.
So we will say I can't eat cakeevery day, or I can't eat cake
every hour or anything like that, but I will eat it in
moderation.
So I will have to set someboundaries for myself in order
(18:01):
not to eat the cake every day.
So it's the same for thesedigital spaces.
We need to make sure that we'resetting healthy boundaries for
our students and making surethat the sites that they're
going on are age appropriate,right.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
I just see on Instagram they have an Instagram
for teens now.
I guess because everything thatwas going on with Instagram and
child trafficking andpedophiles and a lot of
different things, and these kidshave really gotten some deep,
dark, dangerous stuff.
They now I didn't tap into it,but I just been seeing a lot of
Instagram for teens.
(18:36):
I guess they're trying towelcome teens, but in a safe
environment.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
In a safer way.
I guess that's what they'retrying to do, but still, as
parents, we need to be mindfuland we still need to track what
our okay, Because they stillthey still can come out.
They will find those loopholesin those doorways for them to
come out.
And so, um, be open with yourkids and and making sure, like,
(19:02):
if we're not hiding from themkids and and making sure, like
if we're not hiding from them,they won't hide from us.
So, being being open and havingthose healthy conversations and
saying, hey, um, you guys, can,you can tell me about anything
you want.
I'm not here to judge you, butI am here to parent you.
I'm here to guide you right,it's not not here to.
(19:24):
You're not going to get introuble, but I need to know what
you are doing right, I need toknow so that I can help guide
you.
Not not put you out or put youdown or do anything like that,
but I am here to guide you.
Certain things you can doonline and certain things we
shouldn't do.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
That's right until we get a little bit older I
remember when my kids was youknow you and I talked about this
earlier too like we are thegeneration that have both worlds
, like the world without theinternet, like that, and then
the world with the internet andI remember when my kids were
younger, um donna.
Speaker 3 (19:59):
Yeah, wow you take a shot at me again.
Oh no, we were talking about itearlier I was not.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
But since you said it , so anyway, swag on the play
pal, I was not.
You know when I'm coming at you.
Oh no, but for real, like wehaven't, like I mean, you grew
up straight.
Internet, like no I didn't wait.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
When's the first?
When was your first phone?
How old were you when you hadyour first phone?
Speaker 3 (20:32):
I don't remember you was that young no like she
wasn't yeah because a phone tome, like having minutes on the
phone, was not having like aphone.
Yeah, but that was the firstphone, though, but I wasn't that
young, but I wasn't that oldeither so about how old were you
(20:56):
?
Speaker 2 (20:57):
let me use the phone to call my mom, so remember, we
grew up with pay phones.
We still have to have a quarterin our pocket.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
Yeah, yeah, we started out of court.
I mean we had beepers and allthat and stuff like that um two
ways, but never.
But now I know like as the kidswere growing I was so a lot of
times a lot of parents parentout of fear, especially when we
come to digital right I rememberI wouldn't allow my kids to get
social media because I was likethere's too much going on with
(21:28):
social media, like kids weregetting kidnapped.
It was just a lot of negativethings about social media.
So I remember at one time Ithink my kids probably was like
the girls was probably like 12or 13 and they wanted an
Instagram account and I was likeno.
And then it was like well, Iexplained to them why.
Speaker 3 (21:47):
But they went behind my back, because that's what
kids do, and they got an.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
Instagram account they were sharing.
No, they both had their own.
So they was in the backseat ofmy car talking, and they was
talking about this.
Right, they gave themselves uplike what's going on?
Like I'm very attentive, I canhear without even looking at you
, right, I got ears behind myneck so.
So they were talking about itand I was like, wait what?
And it had an Instagram account.
(22:12):
So I was very upset because Iwas trying to explain to them
the dangers of it and I kind ofwent all the way out there
because I'm open with my kids,so I'm like so I gave them all
these crazy scenarios Right.
So I gave them all these crazyscenarios right about somebody
finding their information,coming up to the school, getting
them, and I was like andthey're not even just going to
have you in the same state youlive in, they're sending you
across state, across the country.
And then I was a little graphicy'all and I was.
(22:41):
I was like and then they'regoing to be putting stuff in all
your holes, like all your holes, your ears, your nose, like
everything.
And my girls was like wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait.
I don't understand what yousaid.
I said well, let me make myselfclear.
So I had to break it down tothem, to that, to them to
understand the fear behind why Idon't want you to be a part of
it.
But then, as time everybody wasin the digital world and
because chromebooks and ipadsand all this stuff and all these
(23:03):
apps and stuff, I had to startlearning about it a little bit
more.
And OK, now we have to havesome healthy boundaries around
it, like I can't hide and be infear of it.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
Yeah, you can't live in fear of it because it's here
and it's here to stay.
Simple as that.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
Period.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
Period Like technology is growing and
growing, and growing, and so wehave to just set those healthy
boundaries and guidelines andinstead of telling them about
the bad stuff, there's a lot ofeducational platforms that our
kids can utilize.
(23:43):
There are a lot of videos anddifferent things that they can
learn from.
Like you were talking aboutyour nephew and how he might
like certain things, so you canuse the internet, you can use
the social media to gain accessto those certain things that you
like.
So, say, my um, my son was intocars.
(24:06):
You can use those platforms togain access to learn how to deal
with cars you can learn how tomake cars.
You can learn how to fix cars.
You can learn how to paint carlike whatever it is finding the
beauty.
You can't just, you know, tellthem about the negative, but
(24:28):
there are other ways that youcan use those platforms and wow,
because that almost go back towhen tiff said the hiding thing,
like if if we not hiding themfrom them, they won't hide.
Speaker 3 (24:41):
So what you just saying all the negatives?
It's almost like you hidingstuff from them because is it
really this bad like?
I know a lot of people who haveit.
That's why they snuck you gotit, yeah, so it's like yeah no,
but like you said, these arethings that can really happen.
But these could be the benefits, but because you didn't have
much knowledge in that area ofthe app and different stuff,
(25:02):
it's like I just need you tostay away.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
Stay away.
Speaker 2 (25:05):
Instead of us.
Speaker 3 (25:07):
Let me do some research with you.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
Yeah, let's do the research together.
Let's do this together.
That can be a bonding momentwith you, and your child.
Speaker 3 (25:14):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
So embrace it.
I think, oh man, just you know,have.
I think, oh man, and just youknow, have them.
Teach you a little bit and letthem show you what they're doing
.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
And then you just monitor it.
I like what you said because,like it literally just checked
me.
Like, a lot of times inparenting we always talk about
the bad, what we don't want ourkids to do because a lot of us
are parenting out of fear, rightso what we don't want our kids
to get into, instead of showingthem the beauty and the things
that are here, like I thinkthat's just so amazing, like I
(25:47):
really do look at, and I don'teven know why I would look at
the internet so dark when I useit as a platform to help
motivate and give people tools,right, so why wouldn't I allow
my child to have that type ofaccess that will help them?
You know youtube, I'm I'm a fanof youtube university.
Let me tell you.
Let me tell you, what I did theother day yeah listen, y'all
(26:08):
know I'm a single mom out herein these streets.
Yes, I learned how to braidfrom youtube, okay, listen I
changed, let me tell you, I put,um, I changed my windshield
blades, right, I changed myengine air filter, okay, and I
changed my cabin air filter bymyself, you know what?
Speaker 3 (26:26):
because them fools were trying to charge me 300 to
do that and I was like I couldgo to amazon, order this down
the other.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
It's really, you just got to take the time.
So the guy across the street hecame, he was like I never seen
a woman put pop hood up likethat and I was like uh-huh, I'm
about to get busy, right?
Speaker 2 (26:41):
so yeah, and that's kind of what what I was alluding
to before like, use it as a wayto gain access to, to spark
interest and whatever in yourinterest and what what?
Speaker 1 (26:55):
have you so tiff?
Tell us how important thedigital world is, like break,
like we hear, like our users toaccess abnc, but tell us how
important digital citizenship iswell again.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
We want to have those positive and health, healthy
boundaries, so it is importantfor us as parents to set them
for our student, our children Ikeep calling them students and
baby shows that all these kidsyeah, they, they mind, but, um,
setting those boundaries andmonitoring um what your child is
doing online is very, veryimportant, because you don't
(27:34):
want them to go down the rabbithole, you don't want them to get
in those dark spaces and then,where you know it might be
messing with their mind or orwhat have you.
And then that's where I, as theschool counselor, have to come
in and say hey, parent, this iswhat your baby said today right
and we need to figure out whatwe need to do to help them get
(27:56):
from, get out of this space youguys monitor um all internet
access right so as um whatgrades do y'all start?
so each student will receive achromebook from kindergarten all
the way up to um, high school,12th grade, a senior year, um
senior seniors and um they getto take the device home at third
(28:21):
grade, oh, okay.
So kindergarten first andsecond grade in Brandywine
School District, anyway, theystay at the school, okay, but at
third grade, because that'swhere you know, third grade is a
transitional year.
That's when all that homeworkand stuff come in, they learning
new concepts and everything.
(28:43):
So they get to take theirchromebooks home then.
So, um, some parents say, hey,nope, we don't want it.
But and we accommodate thoseparents that say we don't want
the chromebook to come home, wow, we, we keep them at school
yeah, so I know um what my son's, when my daughters they went to
(29:05):
the same school, their schoolcounselor.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
I guess certain things get flagged.
That's what I was alluding to,I'm sorry about how you guys
monitor the usage, because Ididn't know this until my
daughter, the 16-year-old, whotested my anti-gangster, y'all,
y'all know I got a story fory'all, but I ain't.
I'm wait.
Oh, test my anti-gangster.
She got homecoming tomorrow soI'm trying to be nice, uh.
(29:29):
But she told me about I didn'tknow google docs right, like I
know what google docs is right,but she was explaining to me how
the kids like they pull up theyhave google docs and they talk
about people, they their images,like it's a lot of stuff like
these secret world.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
So they're sharing it with each other.
Yeah, so somebody is sharing aGoogle Doc with someone and then
they're just putting up hatefuland mean things.
Speaker 1 (29:55):
Yeah, that's and nobody knows like if the teacher
walked past, they could switchit or whatever on their
Chromebook, so you don't evenknow that they're engaging in
this kind of stuff.
But that's how a lot ofbackdoor bullying and things
like that.
Um, it was.
She was sharing someinformation, some bad
information that was put outabout this young lady, about
their whole living situation ofparents and everything, and I
(30:17):
was like kids talk about peoplelike that yeah, so.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
So at Brandywine we have what's called GoGuardian,
so the teachers are able to seewhat's on every single one of
our students their classesChromebook.
Speaker 3 (30:32):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
So if they're doing an assignment and say one
student, student A, decides notto do that assignment and do
something else, the teacher isable to see it and they are able
to shut it down.
Speaker 3 (30:46):
Yes, so when I was still teaching.
I'll never forget.
So I'm at the after-schoolprogram and this is during COVID
.
The kids, they there, and oneof the teachers, you know she
called a student name.
What you doing, I guess?
Just trying to give them awarning, Mm-hmm, and one of the
teachers, you know she called astudent name.
(31:07):
What you doing, I guess?
Just trying to give them awarning.
And they ain't doing nothing.
I keep hearing his name becalled by the teacher he's
supposed to be in class with.
I said what are you doing?
Why are you supposed to be onthat?
He ain't going to tell me likeyou know the teacher cut the
whole thing off and I sat thereand she was like thank you, mrs
Chapman, and I said, oh, like,basically I told, because I said
what are you doing?
(31:28):
Like, should you be on it?
He's playing the whole game,yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:37):
And she's basically giving you like a warning.
Like I can see it, I can see it.
She just shut the whole thingdown.
So now you, you missing pointsand now your grade is being
affected because you're notdoing your assignments.
Yep, I'm like, oh my gosh, I'mglad that they could monitor it
because, like you said, well, Iknow kindergartners that are
able to take their Chromebookshome and I was like that's a lot
(31:58):
.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
Yeah, I mean because they got their iPads at home and
stuff.
But transporting that,transporting.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
I think we used to excuse me.
We used to allow ourkindergartners, our
kindergartner, second grade taketheir Chromebooks home.
However, we thought I think ourdistrict kind of looked back on
it and thought about it and
Speaker 3 (32:23):
was like let's keep them here.
Oh, let's just keep them here.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
Parents are not using them.
Right or we got to pay for them, because they're breaking and
stuff like that.
They're handling them.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
Yes, they do.
They have to sign an agreement.
Speaker 3 (32:36):
And if they break them?
Speaker 2 (32:38):
they have to pay for them.
Yes, also, our district doesdoes monitor our searches, the
searches for the students so um,we can get flagged for certain
searches, certain searches thatif there's a threat, any type of
threat, right it'll get flaggedand and then the principal will
(33:01):
get called and say we need togo and check on this student and
we will have to take theChromebook and do a whole
investigation on it.
Speaker 1 (33:11):
I think parents don't even realize that.
You know that you can do thaton your own your kids' stuff.
You can flag pages, you can setup their search engine, you can
do like that's the good thingabout this digital world, their
phones, tablets, whatever it isthat they have.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
you can set those um up wow so what you want them to
see and have access to so.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
So, in this digital world and us parents who are
trying to navigate without beingfearful um what are some, some
tools or such techniques that wecan, you can, share with
parents to be a little bit morecomfortable with um exploring
the idea of digital citizenshipyeah, just um, guide the
(33:58):
conversations that you have withyour children.
Speaker 2 (34:01):
guide them to Let them know what you expect.
Set down those boundaries andexpectations.
Tell them that you know, keepyour private information private
, making sure that you're notsending over things, sending
stuff across that you don't want.
If you don't want mama to seeit, don't send it.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
Right.
Speaker 2 (34:22):
Period.
If you don't want me to see it,don't send it Right.
Period.
If you don't want me to see it,don't send it Right Like reread
what you're putting out thereand making sure that we are just
like in society.
You want to treat people theway you want to be treated Right
.
So making sure that, evendigitally, we're treating others
(34:43):
the way we want to be treated,because we get some online
people that get very, very buff.
Speaker 1 (34:49):
They hide behind a keyboard and they want to say
and do whatever they want?
Speaker 2 (34:52):
Yes, but come in person.
You don't want to say nothing?
Let's not do that.
Speaker 1 (34:58):
Yeah, you can tell, I seen them.
They was talking that beef onthere and then, all of a sudden,
they showed up at school let'slet the school counselor talk
about A, b and C all that theyput out there, right, let's not
do that.
Speaker 2 (35:14):
And then cyberbullying we want to make
sure that our children aren'tbeing cyberbullied and they're
not bullying others right onlinebecause, like I said, people
want to act big and bad behindthe screen, but remember our
students.
They are kids, they're goingback to school.
So if you're saying somethingonline negative about a
(35:37):
classmate or something, you'regoing back to school with them
yeah so, and you're young,you're gonna be with them for a
long time, like yeah, so thatyou know that's something that,
um we're dealing with even atthe elementary school.
So yeah, so that's just, youknow.
Just be mindful that, um becareful, is it?
Speaker 3 (36:01):
happening in like kindergarten and first grade, or
is it more so like that thirdmore?
Speaker 2 (36:07):
like fourth and fifth grade.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
Yeah, cause when you think about it, I don't know if
you guys seen like I see a lotof stuff on, you know, the
internet or CNN and stuff likethat about kids committing
suicide, right when we talkabout cyber bullying, and
they're getting younger andyounger and they're getting
younger, like when you said orwe talk about cyber bullying, um
, and they're getting youngerand younger and they're getting
younger, like when you said, orwe talk about kindergarten,
there's kindergartners, five andsix year olds, who are actually
committing suicide, and that'sthe other thing I wanted to talk
(36:30):
about.
Not only like they're beingcyber bullied right, but then
they're researching and figuringout how to kill themselves.
So that's this danger about theinternet and that's the scary.
Speaker 3 (36:38):
Talking to the phone, yeah, and that's and that's
what I said.
Speaker 2 (36:43):
Our district monitors that stuff.
So any threat, any type ofthreat, so if they type in those
key words about, you know, say,school shootings or suicide or
bombing or something like, thatour district is already alerted.
So as soon as our students arekeying in those words, so we are
(37:07):
alerted.
And then that's when we have totake action.
Speaker 1 (37:11):
Do you recommend that parents, when we talk about
monitoring you know theirdigital activity?
Do you recommend that parentsgo in the kids phone, in our
children's phone, like, look atsome tech, because you know,
know, everything is on privacynow, uh, privacy, look in, look
at our text messages, look attheir phone logs, see what
they've been searching on theinternet.
Um, do you recommend thatparents do that?
(37:34):
Because I feel like this isjust my personal opinion about
parenting is that a lot of kidsdon't know right?
Speaker 3 (37:40):
what they don't know.
They don't know, they don'tknow what they don't know.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
So our job as a parent is supposed to know what
they don't know and teach themwhat they don't know, Right?
So if it takes me going, I textmy kid phone.
Let me see your phone Unlockyour phone?
Speaker 3 (37:53):
Yeah, because you know they lock their phones.
Speaker 1 (37:58):
That's what I thought you was going to way.
Do you recommend going throughtheir?
Speaker 2 (38:02):
phone.
I would you know, have thatconversation with them.
You know you have aconversation, like our kids.
They have a voice and we haveto make sure that we're
listening to them.
Yeah, they might say somethingabout privacy, this, that and
the third, but let them knowthat you're there to support and
guide them and sometimes, likeyou guys just said, they don't
(38:24):
know what they don't know.
So I go through my kids' phones, I go through my mom's phone.
Speaker 1 (38:29):
Listen first of all.
Speaker 3 (38:30):
I painted this.
I go through my mom's phone.
She my baby too.
Speaker 2 (38:37):
No, but I would go through their phone, but I would
also tell them why.
Speaker 1 (38:42):
Don't have that conversation, don't just, but I
would also tell them why.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
Don't have that conversation, don't just do it
and not tell them why.
Because, in this day and age,our kids need to know why, and
they deserve that.
They deserve that understandingof why you're doing what you're
doing.
Speaker 1 (38:55):
That's good, tiff, because I think long are the
days where you just do itbecause I said so, or this is
how I feel.
I think having communicationwith our kids.
I think that's why our kids arebrighter than we were at our
age, because they know so much,and sometimes people say, oh,
they know too much.
No, they know enough to makesure that they can make clear
and decisive decisions.
Speaker 2 (39:16):
Our kids have a voice , like you said, and I want them
to reach their full potential.
Speaker 1 (39:20):
Yeah, like there you go.
I think a lot of times and noslight to parents who, from back
in the day, but a lot of timesparents hinder and stifle their
children based on fear or youknow, they didn't even.
I feel like when you researchparents and back in the day it
was all about food, clothes andshelter.
It was not about mental.
(39:41):
It was not about food, clothesand shelter.
It was not about mental.
It was not about emotional.
It was about I just did a groupworkshop the other day and we
were talking about activelistening and expressing
emotions effectively, right, anda lot of times the things that
they were saying in there wewere talking about it's
transgenerational, like one ladyshared that she wasn't able to,
(40:03):
um, share her emotions as achild, so when she became adult,
she just became over emotional.
I'm grown now and I can shareevery emotion, but because it
wasn't tapped in as a, you'renot supposed to cry, you're not
supposed to do all thesedifferent things and I think our
children we just live in adifferent day and age where our
children need to beknowledgeable in order to be
their best, like you said reachtheir potential yeah, and how do
(40:26):
we know that there's somethinggoing on with our child?
Right If we ain't talking tothem.
Speaker 2 (40:32):
If we're not talking to them, they're going to act
out.
So where is this behaviorcoming from?
Speaker 3 (40:37):
Why are they?
Speaker 2 (40:38):
behaving this way.
So behavior is a way ofcommunication.
Know so behavior is a way ofcommunication.
Know that behavior is a way ofcommunication.
Speaker 1 (40:47):
So if all of a sudden .
Wait, can you say that again?
Because I like that?
No, because people look atbehavior as such a negative
thing, but it's an indication.
Speaker 2 (40:55):
It's an indication.
It's an indication they'recommunicating with you,
especially when you say theydon't really act like that
usually.
Well, why are they acting likethat now?
So they're communicatingsomething and we just have to be
open up our minds and open upour eyes and listen to what is
happening.
Listen to them.
(41:16):
They have a voice.
Yeah, you know they are.
They might not be able toexpress everything, yeah, but
they are telling you something.
So it is up to us, as parents,to figure out what they're
telling us right.
Speaker 1 (41:31):
So one another question I had for you.
How so?
I was at um a parentingworkshop probably a couple
months ago, and one of thegentlemen he was a police
officer and he was talking aboutsomething that was new to me, I
didn't know.
Like, when you look at the appson the phones and if you see
double apps, they're secret appsor something like that.
Like, say, if you've got twocalculators, why do my kid got
it?
Speaker 2 (42:00):
Like, can you talk about when you actually look at
a phone and kind of getwallpapers and everything that I
don't know?
Whatever the app is, it'ssomething different from the
wallpaper or they have it in adifferent language or something.
So just be careful on and knowwhat apps are what.
So there are some you canresearch what apps your children
(42:25):
shouldn't be.
Um on um, there, I forget thename of all of them.
I did have a paper of um theapps that adult that are, you
know, not negative apps, but, um, our kids like to get on them a
lot of times.
So we will just have to, youknow, depending on your child's
(42:47):
age and who they are, just youknow, just monitor, just tell
them open it, yeah because itthrew me for a loop when he said
yo, if your child got twocalculators on their phone, what
do you think that?
Speaker 1 (42:58):
oh, it's called the vault, Vault, A vault.
These kids, these are highschool kids that's different
kids.
They're a little sad but it'scalled the vault.
It's where it's under lock andkey, like only them can open it
up.
So if you have, you may havetwo calculators or two calendars
.
One of them's a real calendar,one is a fake calendar.
That's the vault.
That allow you to have accessto all these other things that
(43:20):
you're not supposed to.
I feel like if your kid got tobe that sneaky, like they know
that there's something wrongalready.
Speaker 3 (43:27):
But going back to what Tiff was saying, and we've
talked about it before payingattention to your child's
behavior, you know, not gettingso caught up in this or that,
but communicating with them,having that open line of
communication and not justletting, letting oh, how was
your day, oh, it was good.
Not letting that be enough get alittle bit more detail because
(43:49):
with my five-year-old I want toknow why it was good and
sometimes she give me the littleirritating and I'll be like, oh
, you can't because I want totalk about this, and I was like,
okay, well, we can talk aboutthat after this.
I need to know why music wasgood, or what did we learn in
math today?
because maybe I can help you insomething, maybe you can teach
me something new, you know, andjust having that rapport and
(44:13):
also like mental health things.
I know you might want perfectattendance, but your mental
health is like important to meperfect attendance, but your
mental health is important to me.
Speaker 2 (44:25):
My seven-year-old will tell me all this.
I just don't feel like goingtoday.
All right, babe, lay down, andif she's up crying and won't get
up, she's sleepy, let her rest.
Speaker 3 (44:37):
Because then you send them to school and it's so much
you got to deal with that.
And then it's like I know whatit feels like to be a teacher
and have that kid that's justdoing so much.
And you're like why didn't youjust let them?
Like you know that sick kid,you would stay at home.
Yeah, that's how it is.
When that behavior startscoming up, Like why didn't you
(45:00):
just let them stay home?
Speaker 2 (45:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (45:02):
So I'm going to put a little flag on this play.
Go ahead.
Speaker 3 (45:10):
Because it's not an everyday thing.
No, I know I want y'all to flag.
Speaker 1 (45:13):
On the flag pause yield.
Can you elaborate what a mentalhealth day looks like, should
feel like, or a sign that thatchild needs a mental health day?
because here's the thing likekids are could be very
manipulative right oh yeah, andI think that's one of the
reasons we talk about reallyhaving a relationship with your
child so you can understandwhat's going on.
But on the flip side, how doyou know that kid need a mental
(45:38):
health day?
Because I got my 16-year-old totest my inner game set and if
she could get a mental healthday every day, she would, I'm
telling y'all, mental healthdays aren't every day, that's
what I'm saying?
Speaker 3 (45:49):
How well do you say Tate.
Speaker 2 (45:51):
Again, we have to understand the behavior, you
will know.
You will know.
You will just say likesomething's wrong, what's wrong,
and they might be like I'm fine, or whatever.
They might have a little bitmore attitude that week.
They might be a little bit moresleepy that week.
They might go to bed a littleearlier.
You know, um, mine, like I saidmy, I have a seven-year-old
(46:15):
she'll.
She'll cry, you know, and justlike in stumping everything,
like just a little bit moreextra, a little bit extra, just
a little bit extra.
Speaker 1 (46:23):
Like she has some glitter to it, yeah, she extra
but this one, this type timeshe's yeah, all right, girl rock
out that's when you like, Iknow I'm with the one that
tested my ligandster I'm alwayson top of I'll, I'll become
overstimulated, and when theywere younger, like I, always
there's certain words, keywordsthat I did so I didn't snap out
(46:47):
on them or whatever, like ifit's becoming too much, I'm
overstimulated.
So there, so that they knowthey have a key word, or you
know so you taught them that.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (46:58):
And they know when to back off.
Speaker 1 (47:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (47:01):
You know so if you keep that line of communication
open, especially if you have ateen, adolescent, someone that
can vocalize what is going on onthe inside.
So we got to understand thatour feelings and our kids have
feelings too, right, and we needto validate those feelings.
There you go and we need tovalidate those emotions that
(47:23):
they are having.
So, and it's OK that they havethose feelings, it's OK that you
feel sad today.
Speaker 1 (47:30):
It's okay that you feel sad today.
Speaker 2 (47:31):
It's okay that you feel angry today, but we can't
do it all day long, right?
Speaker 1 (47:36):
Definitely I like that.
So I like the fact that it'sokay, Like it's okay for you to
be angry for a moment.
I will be mad too.
It's okay for you to be sadLike I feel, like we think that
our kids are supposed to berobots and they're supposed to
be happy all the time or havejoy all the time or not be like
(47:58):
how they respond to certainthings, like they're growing,
they're growing.
Speaker 2 (48:01):
They're still learning.
You'll be mad sometimes tooright.
Speaker 3 (48:04):
Like you, angry.
You said sometimes you don'twant to go to work, so that's
why I don't always and andrealistically, realistically
adults are learning how tomanage their emotions absolutely
that's like every day.
Speaker 2 (48:20):
We're still we're still learning how to manage our
emotions and you want a 10 yearold to manage their emotion
right because they're not going.
Speaker 1 (48:29):
If they don't get it, they won't do so we're not
being that role model, theexample of how to really manage
our emotions?
How do we expect our childrento manage their emotions?
Speaker 2 (48:39):
so if I pop off every time somebody says something to
me, what you think my childgonna do?
Speaker 1 (48:43):
they're gonna pop off and then you mad at them for
popping off.
Well, some parents are mad forthem for popping off, yeah, but
some parents are like, oh, let'sgo get them.
Speaker 2 (48:50):
Like yeah, but you know so you?
Speaker 1 (48:54):
do you get those tips or do you get parents come up
to the school?
And when they come up to theschool, do they not act a fool
sometimes?
I mean some parents pop offthough.
Right, some parents don't know,but they want they want the
best for their child and theydon't know, how they to handle
it, and they don't know how toeffectively communicate it.
Speaker 3 (49:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (49:14):
And that's why I'm here.
Speaker 3 (49:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (49:17):
I listen to them.
I understand what you're saying.
Okay, we want the same thing.
Speaker 1 (49:23):
Right.
Speaker 2 (49:26):
And then I just try to communicate that we're on the
same page.
That part we are partners hereand I want what you want and I'm
going to make sure that you getwhat you want from the school
Right.
Speaker 3 (49:40):
But you got to make sure you're doing your part too
as a parent.
No, I'm serious, because whenVictoria's teacher called and
said that, I heard her go likelike a sigh.
Speaker 1 (49:51):
So I'm like.
Speaker 3 (49:51):
I don't know if she had a previous phone call where
the parent drilled her or whatyeah, yeah.
But she's like thank you somuch for being receptive.
Speaker 2 (49:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (49:59):
Because sometimes it's stuff you want to talk
about and you don't want to say,because you don't want to know
how that parent is going to comeup.
Right, right, it's like youdon't want to know how that
parent is going to come up.
It's like you don't want todeal with that.
I just want the best for yourscholar at the end of the day,
and the only way I can have thebest for your scholar is if I
know what you're doing at hometoo.
Speaker 2 (50:16):
Yeah, and just know, you know.
Speaker 1 (50:23):
She got her own flag the yellow thing right there.
Flag on her plate.
Just know that we want the samething.
Speaker 2 (50:30):
We Like we're flying on a plane, just so that we want
the same thing.
We want the same thing.
And you know, teachers,administrators, counselors,
social workers, everybody, whenwe're calling home, when we're
calling families, we want what'sbest for your child.
Speaker 1 (50:42):
Right.
Speaker 2 (50:43):
We want what's best for your child.
We're not there to judge, we'renot there to point the blame.
We're not there to do any ofthat.
We're there to help and beingable to receive some information
so that we can move forward andgive this support that is
needed.
Sometimes we have to have hardconversations.
(51:04):
Yes, we have to have those hardconversations and parents you
may not want to hear it all thetime, right, but somebody is
it's necessary and we need tocome together as a team and work
it out.
Speaker 1 (51:21):
Yes, I like that.
I think that again, as westarted the show, we talked
about parental involvement andnot separating everything.
Everything wants to beseparated.
A cake ain't good if you gotthe flour on the side, if you
got the sugar on the side, thevanilla.
I'm not eating all that byitself.
I need it all mixed together,right, mix it together and bake
it, and bake it.
Yeah, like if things aren'tmeant to be.
(51:43):
Some things are meant to be bythemselves.
But when we talk about ourchildren and this parental
involvement, like in thismandate on parenting, like we
are responsible for our childrenyeah, our children are a gift.
I don't know about y'all, but Imake sure I handle my gifts
well.
You know one do you view yourchild as a gift?
And if you do, how do youhandle that child and understand
(52:06):
that?
This, this partnership withthese teachers and schools, it's
necessary.
I noticed that and just bytalking to other teachers and
Pam, we talked to Abriel whentalking about that, they're not
just dealing with the academicaspect of our children, they're
dealing with the behaviors,they're dealing with the social
(52:26):
aspect of it, they're dealingwith everything, and also if you
guys are going to go homesafely to your kids, because we
have these actor shooter drills.
We have this.
You know people shooting upkids.
So it's not just I'm just hereto educate your kid, I'm here to
make sure your kid they're safe.
They're safe.
Speaker 2 (52:47):
We make sure that the kids are safe.
We make sure that the kids areeducated.
We make sure that the kids areeducated.
We make sure that the kids areemotionally stabilized.
We make sure that the kids aresocially good.
You know, we teach all of that.
We teach not only academics.
(53:07):
We don't just teach math andreading and writing.
We teach social, emotionallearning.
We teach emotion management.
We teach regulation skills, weteach coping skills.
We teach all of that stuffwithin that little bit of time
that we have or not, let alonethe related arts.
(53:28):
They have um phys ed.
They have art.
They have um library and musicand and other things.
Some of them have stem, some ofthem have they have a lot going
on just know that our teacherswork diligently to make sure
that they provide a qualityeducation for our kids.
Speaker 1 (53:49):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (53:49):
They work overtime.
I have some teachers that stayat work until 6, 7 o'clock at
night, and they are not gettingpaid for that.
They come to work at 7.30 whenthey don't have to be there till
8.30.
They are there at the crack ofdawn to make sure that they are
(54:10):
providing the best education forour kids wow and parents don't
see that.
All the time they don't see it.
But I see our, our staff.
They are there day in and dayout.
Speaker 1 (54:26):
They are there at the forefront that's good and
that's why parental involvementis so important, so that it's a
whole team effort, because weall want the best for our kids.
I don't think no parent wakesup and say, I don't want my kid
to be successful right, likeeverybody wants their kid to be
successful, right, whateversuccess means in their life.
It's just that having theproper tools to make sure that
that happens, um, I love thefact that.
(54:49):
I love the fact that the kindof school counselor you are.
Oh, thank you you know, evenknowing you as a person like
this matches you likeholistically when you think
about it like, it's not like I'mthis way at this place, I'm
this.
You know, putting all thesedifferent hats on, you're
literally the same person as youare in real life, as a teacher
(55:10):
and as a school counselor, and Ithink that that is so important
that we need real, authenticpeople in these sectors so that
our children can grow to theirgreatest potential.
Speaker 2 (55:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (55:22):
And parental involvement is so important, you
know, because parents are thefirst educators, the first
cheerleaders, the first teachers, the first, everything.
Speaker 2 (55:29):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (55:30):
And if we don't get that straight, it's going to
make you guys job a lot harderand some things are going to be
deficient, and because you haveto come up in a different area,
right, um, so all right, it'sbeen a pleasure, tiff, give us a
couple takeaways quick, whatyou want the people to know.
Speaker 2 (55:51):
I want everyone to just make sure that you have, in
those conversations with yourkids about digital citizenship,
make sure you have opencommunication with them, make
sure that your kids know thatyou are there to guide them and
not be like all in theirbusiness, as they would call it,
and not be like all in theirbusiness, as they would call it,
(56:11):
but you're there to guide themand make sure that they're
keeping healthy, making healthyrelationships online.
Also, setting tech boundaries,healthy boundaries, putting, you
know, setting aside a time forthem to have those digital
platforms, or set it when thereis time to, you know, charge
(56:34):
your phone, charge it and notbuy your bed, or put it on the
dresser and charge it, or, youknow, just making sure that they
are able to get this bed ontime and things like that.
Speaker 1 (56:46):
Okay, Wow, thank you.
So if you guys want to knowmore about digital citizenship,
on our page panther with apurpose page on facebook, we
will have this information on.
There's things that tiffanyshared with us today, and she
has some more resources forparents in regard to digital
citizenship and other resourcesthat she's going to allow to be
on our page.
So check our page, our pantherwith a purpose on facebook, and
(57:08):
you'll be able to tap into thisdigital world and not be in so
much fear, like we can use it assomething positive, especially
when we know that the world isdigital.
Even currency is digital.
Now, you know.
So we can't be ignorant andavoiding the situation.
We just have to do it thehealthiest way possible.
Thank you, tiff, for coming onthe show.
Pam, what you got?
(57:29):
What's our?
Speaker 3 (57:30):
outro.
Speaker 1 (57:30):
What you got, what you got, what you got.
Speaker 3 (57:33):
I just want to say to Tiff, thank you so much for
your knowledge, for taking yourjob serious and speaking on
behalf of not just yourself butthe administration, the staff as
a whole, as a whole body.
So not just Brandywine SchoolDistrict, but for all counselors
, all teachers, whatever roleyou may play in the education
(57:54):
and educational field, and evenas a parent, because you are
also a parent.
So you didn't just give it frombeing a counselor, no, you gave
it from a genuine position thatyou play, that you take serious
.
So I thank you so much for yourtransparency as well and giving
us these resources so that wecan give it to the Parenting
(58:16):
with a Purpose community andhelp our community be better, so
that we can have a better worldat the end of the day, all
right.
Thank you for joining Parenting,thank you so much for joining
Parenting with a Purpose.
I am your co-host, Pamela, andI'm your host.
Speaker 1 (58:32):
Donna Janelle, you guys have a great night.
We'll be back.
What'd I say?
It's normally, thank you.
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