December 6, 2024 • 55 mins
What if parenting could be likened to the art of archery, where children are the arrows needing careful guidance to hit their mark? Join us as we navigate the beautiful responsibilities and joys of parenting, weaving through personal tales like my daughter's newfound passion for wrestling and my niece Lizzie's adventures in grocery shopping for her dorm. The post-pandemic evolution of shopping habits adds another layer to our conversation, as we weigh the convenience of online shopping against the irreplaceable experience of selecting fresh produce in person.
We are thrilled to welcome Kimoke, affectionately known as Kim, an inspiring special education educator whose journey was sparked by a childhood encounter that led her to embrace sign language and special education with open arms. Her innovative teaching methods and dedication to early intervention offer a wealth of insights into creating nurturing learning environments. Through engaging stories and strategies, Kim highlights the crucial role of parents in addressing developmental delays and emphasizes the transformative power of active parental involvement in child therapy.
Our conversation doesn't stop there; we explore the critical importance of early childhood education and intervention, challenging controversial viewpoints with personal experiences and professional insights. Programs like Creative Connections Virtual Preschool emerge as game-changers, offering affordable, comprehensive educational tools for young learners. As we conclude, we're committed to empowering parents through our Parenting With a Purpose initiative, inviting you to connect with us via CMP Radio and our Facebook page, Parenting with a Purpose, for ongoing support and guidance. Thank you for tuning in, and here's to embracing the parenting journey with purpose and joy!
Parents are the Bows and Children are the Arrows they will land wherever we aim them eventually!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
The Voice of Chester.
Thank you, hey everybody.
(01:19):
Welcome back to Panther with aPurse.
I am your whoa, panther with aPurse.
Yo, we got that bag.
Yo, what's your bag?
Welcome back to Panther with aPurse.
I am your Whoa Parenting with aPurse.
Yo, we got that bag.
Yo, what's your bag?
Welcome back to Parenting witha Purse.
I am your host, donna Janelle,and I am your co-host, pamela,
and you know our Yo.
I can't believe.
I said the purse.
That means that somebody needsto be filling up this purse
right now.
(01:40):
How's everybody doing?
We are here back in the studiowith another episode of Parents
of Purpose.
As you know, parents are theirbowls and our children are our
bowls and they will lay inwherever we aim them, as long as
we equip them.
You know our job as parents isnot to send them outside naked,
because the world will closethem.
As you can see now they'reclosed with all types of stuff I
(02:00):
mean you can identify as a catthese days, y'all.
So you just don't know what'sgoing on with our kids in this
world.
So it's our job and ourresponsibility to make sure that
we close them well, so thatthey be tight and right and
successful right.
As you know, our mission is tobring back the responsibility,
nobility and beauty back intoparenting right.
(02:21):
And how do we do that?
Several ways, like holdingparents accountable.
You know there's a mandate onparenting right now.
So we're holding parentsaccountable to stand up for your
kids.
Do what you need to do.
Parent is your responsibilityto parent your child.
Now, there's several resourcesout here that we can use to help
us different tools, but at theend of the day, matter of fact,
at the beginning of the day, themiddle of the day and the end
(02:42):
of the day and the end of theday, it's our responsibility,
right?
So we want to hone on to thatresponsibility.
So today we have a oh wait, doI want to talk about did she
talk my inner gangster this week?
What did she do this week?
No, she's been pretty good.
She's wrestling, y'all.
The one you know, the16-year-old Dane who's testing
my inner gangster.
She's been good this week.
(03:06):
Y'all she's wrestling.
She's taking all that energyout on the mats.
We've been good this week.
But I do have guess what?
You know?
The one, lizzy Marines.
She hit me up today.
She's like Titi, because shecalled me Titi.
She was like I went to Walmart,I went shopping.
I was like what?
She sent me a picture of allthese groceries because now that
she's in a dorm and she waslike, listen, we ain't finna be
(03:28):
cooking, we ain't finna bebuying food every night.
We ain't here cooking.
I heard that she was like Cece Igot a rice cooker.
She said I got one of to bespending all this money out here
.
She said my friend said thatyou went down the aisle so quick
Did you shop all your life?
(03:48):
Lizzie said she went down everyaisle, got exactly what she
needed.
She was out.
They was like Pittman, you'removing too fast, you're moving
too fast.
But she literally got all thefruits and vegetables and
everything she needed and I waslike, look at you out here
bending the door.
She was like look at you allhere bending the door.
She was like I am, I am Nice.
And I thought that was prettycool because she sent me a
picture of like a bat, like allthese groceries on the floor,
(04:10):
like it is when at home, when weget all the groceries.
And I was like, wow, she smart,you be taking longer in the
grocery store.
No, uh-uh.
So the way I shop y'all, we needto introduce Kim first, because
I'm going to tell y'all Becausethe way I shop, I do online.
First of all, covid donespoiled me.
I do online Because, listen, Iain't got time.
(04:31):
So I shop online and sometimesI pick up, but I get my
groceries delivered.
The only thing I pick up is myBJ's.
I go pull up my car pop out mytrunk.
Pop out my trunk.
They put it in the car for BJ's, but other than that, y'all are
bringing this to my door.
Listen.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
I'm going to be like you For real.
I need to touch my own stuff Metoo.
It's starting to suck.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Now fruits and vegetables and stuff like I go
get and stuff like that, but theother stuff, no, I ain't doing
that.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
All right, we need to introduce guys.
We have an amazing guest.
Her name is Kimoke, but she'sknown as Kim, a special ed
educator.
She's also a loving mother, adevoted wife.
She's just like very awesome.
She'll tell you a little bitmore about herself.
You said say your name, kim,it's on you, okay.
(05:22):
So.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
I am Kim, and often when I say I'm Kim, they say
okay, and I'm like yeah, that'smy name, Kim.
Okay, but anyway, I have been aspecial educator for more than
20 years.
That's all you're going to get,and I love it.
It's what I do.
It's what I've done since ayoung child.
What I've done since a youngchild actually, what got me
(05:44):
interested in special educationwas a birthday party that my
cousin had my younger cousin had.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Oh, I should have shared this with you, and that
was.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
there was a young girl there who was deaf.
She was, I may have been 10,she might have been 6.
Wow, and I was just soconcerned about making sure that
she could communicate, interact, engage, because she wasn't.
So she became my best friendand I just helped her and it
inspired me to learn signlanguage.
(06:12):
I know some now, but I haven'tbeen as consistent.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
I was going to ask you is that how you know sign
language?
Speaker 3 (06:17):
That's where the interest sparked Yep oh wow.
Yeah.
And then from then on, I justbecame everybody's teacher.
Oh, wow, yeah.
And then from then on, I justbecame everybody's teacher.
At 12, I was a live-inbabysitter for one, but like 10
kids would be at the housebecause they knew that I can
handle them.
They were sitting down singinga pile of spaghetti all covered
with cheese.
Kim let me find out.
(06:40):
You got a voice.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
Uh-uh, hold on, hold on.
Kim sing Kim surprise her withsomething.
What a song.
No, you know what I'm talkingabout.
Speaker 3 (06:48):
Oh the baby.
Oh, yes, I do voices too.
You want to hear one?
What Ready?
Watch this Yo.
Oh, that was supposed to be asecret for the Christmas program
, but anyway.
Wait, the Christmas program,but anyway.
So I just do whatever it takesto make kids feel comfortable
and learn, and if I have to crylike a baby or talk like Elmo, I
(07:12):
do it.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Yo flag on a flag.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Who wouldn't want them in their living room?
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Right that is awesome .
Speaker 3 (07:18):
It's my defense if a kid doesn't vibe with me, so I'm
going to do what I need to doto make it happen, wow.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
Yeah, me least two.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
Even though adults are a little harder, I don't
understand them as much as I dothe kids.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
I guess not.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
I have.
I have to do it becauseultimately what I do now with um
, my everything I do ispart-time, but um, with my main
job, is early intervention.
So I go into the homes with thebabies.
Usually it's birth to three.
I usually have two year olds,two year olds, but anyway you
(07:55):
know it's really parent training.
A lot of them like to sit andwatch me like I'm a TV show, but
I'm like no.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
Can you, can you blame?
No, I mean, unless you just did.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
But go ahead and they do, but it's like okay, I do it
.
Now it's your turn, because I'mthere for one hour once a week
right and I want to come backand I'm going to say, oh, did
you try?
Did you try?
And they might like well.
Well, can you do it this time?
All right, let's practice ittogether.
You want to act silly too.
I, I just love.
I love what I do.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
It's almost like teaching and therapy.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
I want everybody to feel comfortable, but first I
have to make them feelcomfortable.
I take my shoes off, I sit downon the floor.
I don't even mind if it's stuffaround, I just pretend like I
don't see it, unless it's a bug.
I might say oh excuse me, Canwe stop, you know?
Speaker 1 (08:42):
but she said it's a bug, we stopped playing on a
plate.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
There's a bug club over here.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
It's not part of the group.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
It's not part of the session.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
This is not part of the session today.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
Okay, and I've learned over time how to say it
in a way that it still makesthem feel comfortable.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
to let me back in next week because it all says
come over and get this.
But the truth is the truth,right?
Yeah, yeah, I get it becauseI'm in home care.
So I'm in people home.
Yes, yes, and it's not an hourcamp.
I'm in people eight hoursovernight I'm in, I'm out.
Yeah, now let me ask you aquestion because I love this
(09:19):
about you um, can you tell usthe importance of, uh, early,
early intervention?
And the reason why I'mprefacing this question first is
because I got a follow-upquestion.
Well, follow-up questionstatement after that, tell me
how, why early intervention isso important.
Speaker 3 (09:38):
Okay, well, one learning starts in the womb
talking to to your child,talking, singing.
My son got scriptures read tohim and he was born premature,
so he had that for 80 daysstraight right on me.
But it's like they can hear,they can understand, even though
they're not communicating yet.
They're able to understand andthey're able to hear and they
(10:02):
get that connection with you.
And why wait?
Speaker 2 (10:08):
and if let's say there is a delay, a delay.
Speaker 3 (10:10):
You want to address that delay as soon as possible,
right, therefore, when they getolder, it's gone it's gone but
it's like the longer you wait,the harder it is for them to try
to master skills that they'vealready lost or have been behind
on.
So that's why I think.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
So I was listening to .
You know I deal with medicallycomplex P's, so the preemies and
all that.
And then Joshua himself wasborn preemie and he had a lot of
different speech delays andthings like that.
So I was listening to Dr Umar.
Are you familiar with Dr Umar?
Speaker 2 (10:41):
Yes, I'm familiar Okay.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
So I was listening to .
He was on somebody's podcastand you know they deem him as a
black guy pretty much and he hassaid that we got to stop
letting people evaluate our kidsearly you know, give them some
time and saying all this crazystuff.
And it's like I've been doingpeace for 24 years and I see the
(11:03):
importance of early um, likeknowing, awareness and things
like that intervention and hewas just saying that our black
community got to stop lettingthese people diagnose our kids
and stop.
You know, you shouldn't bediagnosed or even evaluated for
autism until they like six,seven or eight.
And I was like I don't knowwhere he's from, what planet
he's from like we had this talkbecause like I'm, like that's
(11:25):
ridiculous you do, I do.
Speaker 3 (11:28):
Help me understand that Because when I go into the
home, Well, not particularlyjust for autism or anything.
Well, put it this way yes, I dofeel like if there is a delay,
then it needs to be addressed.
Birth to three is free peopleGet those people in there that
your child does not have to bediagnosed, but the need is going
(11:50):
to be addressed.
Like I had a family today askabout diagnosing for autism and
I said I don't care.
My focus is on what does heneed.
Does he need to interact withothers?
Does he need to followdirections?
Does he need to label?
Does he need what does he needto do?
That's what I'm going toaddress.
So it doesn't matter what thedisability is, I'm addressing
(12:13):
and focusing on the delay.
So if there is something thatyour child and everybody is
everywhere, all over thedevelopmental spectrum, but if
there's something that you seethat your child should be doing
and they're not or you know it's, get those people in there, get
right in there.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Evaluation is important.
I'm not saying dying because wedon't diagnose under three
anyway with autism, right, somefamilies do and I just say well,
the doctors do with thefamilies, because there's a,
there's a rule.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
Well, the doctors may suggest, but oftentimes I get
the families wanting to knowyeah, but we don't as a doctor's
office, like they will notdiagnose you for autism
depending on where you gobecause it's some private
practices do.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
But evaluation is important.
Yes, right, early evaluation,because I've seen firsthand what
early evaluation do and I thinka lot of people get hung up on
different diagnoses.
Yes, right, yes, um, because Ido.
I remember in differentsituations for development,
growing up, um, for parents.
But a lot of times what we tryto at least as a nurse, what I
(13:16):
try to emphasize is that thediagnosis actually helped you
get more resources.
Yes, like you know, I haveparents who crying and upset
that their child is diagnosedwith like CP or something like
that, and what I try to explainto them is that now you're able
to get the extra resourcesbecause if they don't diagnose
your child like I'm not talkingabout like early, early, but
(13:38):
they don't diagnose your childyou're not getting those extra
resources.
So a lot of times people gethung up.
So when Dr Umar was saying, theway he was prefacing is that
you don't get your childevaluated, and that's my concern
is like if you as a parent knowthat your child has a speech
delay or just not communicatingwell or something's off, why
wouldn't you want your childevaluated?
(13:59):
Like that's what earlyintervention is for, so that we
stop it before it becomes aproblem.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
So evaluate it, not diagnose it Right.
Yeah, because you want to givethem a chance.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Right, so I get.
But he was saying don't letthem evaluate.
Don't let nobody evaluate yourkid at such a young age.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
Well, that's how they get the services, yeah, so, and
then they're like but what wesupposed to do?
Speaker 1 (14:25):
Like, just let Just let them be, like, not like.
I'm confused.
And did he say what hisreasoning was?
He was saying because you know,they want to do all this extra
stuff to black kids, this, thatand the other.
And I'm just like, dude, whatplanet you been in?
I understand that.
But I've seen both sides, right.
I've seen my own child, right.
Actually, I see three sides.
I see my own child, I see howother parents think about it in
their perspective and I see themedical side, yes, and I see
(14:46):
firsthand what early evaluationdo so that these kids don't grow
up with it.
And then here's the other thingso if we don't evaluate these
kids and get these kids earlyintervention, now they're
growing up.
They got delays and stutter,then they again teased and all
this other stuff because theparents dropped the bomb like it
(15:07):
comes more than just oh,something's wrong, my child, or
there is some type of delay,because delay is not denial.
First of all, and I.
Speaker 3 (15:15):
Just something more has to be addressed yeah, my son
was born at 26 weeks fast, butanyway, um, I I knew what I knew
, but I knew I learned morebecause of him, yeah.
So the speech part really cameinto play because he was delayed
with language and they werelike no, he's fine, okay,
because I'm working with them,but come on, they didn't want to
(15:36):
give him the speech services.
So I went to a program throughEasterseals and it was the
Hannon method, which I I usedtoday.
It was awesome because, itforced me, as a parent, to look
at my child differently, basedon what I usually do.
Nope, you sit back and watchyou.
Let them come to you more soI'm able to help other parents
(15:58):
more so because of what I had togo through with him, yeah, I.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
I get that, but I wanted the services.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
I wanted them to say look at him because he was
premature, but they were likehe's fine, but his elbow you
couldn't really tell with a lotof things, though His elbow was
kind of, and you know, somebodyjust said you know what I see
what you're saying it wasn'tthat he was delayed, so to speak
but he just helped.
(16:30):
But that's my role as a specialeducator, especially,
especially for earlyintervention is to make the
parents be their own right, bestadvocate for their child
absolutely jump in, jump inthere.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
So if I can, do that, then you're own best advocate.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
Yeah, because I know like, because why not?
Yeah, why not?
And I get what you're saying.
I know having Joshua beingpremature and as complex as he
was it helped me be a betternurse.
Yes, but being a nurse alsohelped me be a better parent.
It kind of like hand in hand.
I grew so much in my nursingand then I grew so much in my
(17:06):
parenting.
And when you talk about beingan advocate for your kid, like
you really really got toadvocate for them just to make
sure that they get all thethings that they need, yes,
that's the important.
Like we all want our kids to besuccessful, right.
And like sometimes what I foundand I don't know if you see
this, or not.
In parents it's like they a lotof times parents are embarrassed
(17:27):
that's what I was and they kindof like ignore it or avoid it,
and and then next, you know,it's like a bigger problem when
they're in school and theyactually go to like elementary
school and then they present aproblem and then we need IEP
because this kid needs all thisextra attention.
And the parents was like well,well, what?
No, baby girl, it's been goingon, yeah.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
I know and then like for me, um, my services is so
popular early childhood specialeducator, because it's easier to
swallow than speech, or youknow physical therapy or it's
easier to swallow, but I do alittle bit of everything and
then if I see the need thatsomeone else needs to come in,
I'm coaching the parent.
(18:09):
I'm like guess what?
It's early, let's get as muchas they need right now so that
when they get older and usuallythey go along with it.
But I mean, it's a lot to havesomeone come into your home,
yeah you know, and it's likethey want to say oh baby, I'm
not doing this, right, you are,and that's why we're going to do
it together when I come in.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
Oftentimes, I like that.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
Yeah, no, no, no parent involvement, come on, yes
yes, they look at me like andthen when I train people too,
they come and they observe andthey get involved Like if they
have to take over the session,nope, I don't do that.
I may play with the child forlike 10 minutes and then I'm
just like here, give the ball tomommy.
And if I see the parents excuseme trying to stray away, I'm
(18:50):
like go give this to mommy, comeon, let's go.
You know, daddy go get thatBecause you have to you know
daddy go get dad Because youhave to, and that's my, I guess,
biggest challenge is to let theparents know that it doesn't
stop with me.
I think I'm pretty good, I likethat, but I need your help
because you have to do it and Ireally want to know did you try
(19:10):
to have them pull apart theblock when I wasn't here, right?
Speaker 2 (19:24):
And if not, what can I do to help you?
It if they, if you did do itand they didn't.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
What do I need to help make them be able to do it?
So I saw a question do youinterview them before you go
into the house?
Um, not interview.
So they'll say would you likethis client?
And I'll say yes, usually basedon the address, because I like
to travel close to where I am.
Oh and but my first impressionwhen I do the evaluation, it
really is just paperwork.
And then I ask them a wholebunch of questions about the
different developmental areas.
I paint the picture of what itlooks like Even when I'm not
(19:49):
really working with a childbecause I'm doing paperwork.
But it's like the whole timeI'm saying oh, can you stand him
up like that, let me see if hecan do this.
Oh, can you give him that cup,let's see if he can do this.
Oh, can you give him that cup,let's see if he can tap it
together.
So I'm already building thatstandard that you're going to be
in here doing it.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
Yeah, I like that, because so many times and I
don't know what it is, but a lotof times parents they pass the
buck to someone else.
And we see that in earlyintervention, we see it earlier
childhood, we see it in earlierchildhood, we see it in a lot of
different things.
It's like all right, here it isyou fix them, you do this and
that and the other.
And here at Parented with aPurpose, like we've really since
(20:24):
September, been honing in onparental involvement and how
important it is.
Speaker 3 (20:30):
And it is probably personality too, because there
are many, many therapists and alot of times parents say, oh
well, they don't do that or theydon't you know?
Well, guess what this is, MsKim, Come on, get in here.
Kim hit her with a smile.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
Wait, Kim hit her with a smile.
Wait, did you make the noisetoo, Do you do?
Sounds like hey, does this careIf I have to?
Speaker 3 (20:53):
Like today I work with a child.
She is very medically fragilewith a vent and everything.
If you could not see her, youwould think I was working with a
child that was running aroundthe room, because that's how I
feel that they're gonna be.
So that's how I do.
I was like go girl, come on up.
Up, you want to go up?
It's just like I have to liveit for them until they can live
(21:17):
it themselves.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
Wow, you can tell that you love this too, kim,
like you're like your cheeks arelike no, but that's good
because you find, I like,because it's not conventional,
it's not one way.
No, you, you really meet themwhere they are and bring them up
where you what they need to be,and I think that's a word right
there meet them where they areand bring them what they need to
be yes they have somewhere togo.
Speaker 3 (21:38):
Yeah, oh, shut up, look you going, come on, you
going.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
But that is so important.
I love your approach, kim,because parental involvement is
so important, because at home weare the first teachers, we're
the first lovers, we're thefirst everything Cheerleaders,
and a lot of times, you know, wewant to pass the buck and I
think that it's such a mandateon parenting right now that we
have to, from womb to the tomb.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
Yes, and I never thought about it like the
personality thing.
Speaker 3 (22:09):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
Like even with certain dads like I'll hear them
tell my husband like, oh mygosh, you do this with Victoria,
you do that, whoa.
I ain't start doing that tillmy child was like six and he's
like what?
There are daughters.
Why wouldn't you want to dothat with your daughter?
Why wouldn't you want them toexperience that from their
father?
Right?
and everything's in their life.
I guess I never looked at itlike there, hasn't been exposed
(22:33):
to me like that because it's alittle girl.
But if it's a little boy thenit's okay.
But then you still have fatherswho will be standoffish until
the child gets a certain age,right like I have a family
member who in their relationshipit was mom takes care up until
fifth grade, like she deals withthem to the same and after
fifth grade it's all.
(22:53):
It's all that, oh.
She said, because they had boysand she said it's certain things
after they say they need youhands on If I need to show up
here and there, but for you theyneed you hands on it's together
.
Speaker 3 (23:09):
I get the dads involved.
They're not on the couch.
Give it to daddy, or you knowlike the dad will say he's not
going to do well today.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
Says who Right.
Speaker 3 (23:20):
That's it, that's feeling out.
Okay, he might be tired, andthen he's like oh, you did well.
Okay, now go give this truck todaddy.
Now, when he gets it, you goready, set and wait, go.
It's like coaching him.
And then they're involved andnow they come and sit.
I have one day he's like wait aminute, we didn't do the songs.
That's the best part.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
I'm like, okay, let's do the songs, don't be sure,
changing us today.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
Kim, we're all in this together and a shameless
plug.
But which Birth CreativeConnections Virtual Preschool,
which is just up and running,because a lot of my babies, when
they turn three, they may notqualify for anything.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
Right.
Speaker 3 (24:02):
But it's still those opportunities for the parents to
get in there and coach andteach and train with support
from a special educator that'sgoing to push them to do it and
give them tools to do it.
So you know it doesn't stopthere.
They still have to.
After they turn three.
They have to get kindergartenready.
Still have to.
After they turn three.
They have to get kindergartenready when they get into
kindergarten right, they alwaysget ready to go somewhere.
(24:22):
Yep yep, my son is 14 in highschool now and I am so thankful,
thank you god that I can backoff of him because the work was
done.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
Yeah yeah, he knows the expectation.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
He knows the expectation, he knows the
routines, he knows theconsistency.
And you know teenagers, theytry you.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
And he got run over, don't they?
Yes, he does.
Speaker 3 (24:42):
Do he touch you in the?
Speaker 1 (24:43):
gangster.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
You got in the gangster.
Yes, he does.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
You got in the gangster.
I know you do Never mind, astold.
Speaker 3 (24:52):
But you have to.
And I tell him now Kaiai, doyou understand what mommy's
doing?
Do you understand why I didthis?
Do you see?
Now?
And like when I said he gets,if he gets an 80, I'm like, oh,
you need to go study.
You you're not failing, kai,but what I'm telling you is that
you are 100 material.
So if you don't get that 100,then you're gonna study until
(25:14):
you do get it.
And if you don't get it, atleast you know you put your best
effort in.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
Right, I like the best effort thing I know.
Like and it's probably weswitching the subject a little
bit I had a conversation with afriend and we were talking about
, like what we pour into ourkids and how we education-wise
right, and I remember, with myoldest daughter, who's 25, like
I push education, like you needto be the best of the best, the
(25:40):
highest of the highest, thegreatest of the greatest, like
you have to work twice as hardbecause it this than the other.
And we had a conversationbecause she did that with her
oldest daughter.
But now, uh, with the election,this is what what came up.
It's because you know, kamalashe's, she was always at the top
of her class, she was the greatof the great, the best of the
best, and it still didn't workout for her to be president.
So it's like sometimes and Ihad another conversation with
(26:04):
somebody and we were just sayingthat we are so geared as
African Americans to teach ourchildren to be the best of the
best and it adds a lot of stresson them we want you to have the
best that you can be rightGetting them to say you got to
work twice as hard because ofthis and that like it adds so
(26:25):
much stress on them and then ifthey don't get it, it's like,
it's almost like well, theydidn't put enough effort into it
.
But that's not true.
Right, because I feel likethat's how you approach it too,
yeah we put so much pressure onour kids, and I'm guilty of it
because I've done that with myoldest.
I don't do that with the otherones.
Now, what do you want to be?
How do you want to show up inthis world?
What impact do you want to be?
(26:46):
Because then we're going towork towards that.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
Let me expose you to some other things.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
Yeah, because a lot of times, and it's because we've
always been taught you gotta bejust as twice as better, you
gotta work twice as hard becauseof your skin color, right?
But that adds so much pressureon our children, it's like
they're not enough, right?
Speaker 3 (27:04):
And see, I'm sorry but my baby is the best, but
right and I know him and I knowwhen.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
yes, Because there's a difference when I'm doing too
much and when I'm not.
Speaker 3 (27:17):
And he will get too lax a daisy on stuff that you
know he's like.
Speaker 1 (27:22):
It's just easy to me Right, but that still doesn't
mean, you don't have thestrength to work, yeah Right,
but you have a relationship anda lot of times parents don't
have relationship with theirkids.
They're literally just saying Ineed you to show up in the
world a certain way because weput our expectations on them,
not how they really need to livefor themselves.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
Mom, I need you to show up Mom.
Speaker 3 (27:43):
I did my best.
Yeah, that's all we ask.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
But it takes a relationship with your children.
You know how far to push them.
I know how far to push my kidsnow.
For example, when Lizzie wastalking about the military, she
had already signed up.
She wanted to go, but towardsthe end it started getting
harder and she had so manydifferent challenges and then
she was like, never mind, I'mgoing to work at Panera Bread.
I said who?
No, she didn't.
(28:07):
I said who, but I had to getindignant to tell her that's a
no.
And because now, mind you, shewas hot out of society, she was,
you know, doing all thesethings and she was like I'm just
gonna go work at Panera Breadand maybe take off for a year
and go back and just say who,where, how.
And I was so and I literallywas like you ain't living here
(28:28):
doing that, like I literally hadto go there because I knew what
was in her.
Yes, I knew what she wanted.
Right, it wasn't like I wasforcing something on her that I
wanted for myself, because a lotof times parents do right but
because of our relationship andI knew what she wanted and I had
to show up as a mom, because asparents we make unpopular
decisions, right and I don'tcare, because I'm not your
little friend right, so I don'tget to be your friend until you
(28:51):
move out.
Speaker 3 (28:51):
Yeah, yeah, because now she was on the phone away
here like we was vibing, youknow, but you got to know your
child.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
And when we talk about parental involvement, I
said all that to say becausethat's why parental involvement
is so important, because as youhave a relationship with your
children, you're able to knowhow much to push them and then
you're able to say, okay, isthis for him or her or is it for
me?
Speaker 3 (29:14):
and then even thinking about my son in his
early years.
You know he got the caffeinewhen he was in the NICU.
You know he was a little busy.
He was busy.
Same thing, josh, but oh man,very smart, you know, but the
teachers didn't see that yeah soI had to make sure that they
saw it yeah so I'm like kai,come on, let's go.
And he knew it.
(29:34):
That was what structured himthroughout life thank goodness,
because that's what mommy knewbut so that he can show his best
self.
And they were like kyron who hewas seriously wait that.
Kyron said like he was movingaround all the time, whatever oh
man, take the teacher in theback side, like they had to be
so yo, joshua was so busy, likeyou know those weighted uh vests
(29:56):
?
Speaker 1 (29:56):
yo, because they had, yes, I love those.
Do you know what those?
Yo, because they had.
This boy would not like theyhad to wait a minute.
Listen, he went to nursing kidsand medical daycare, right, yes
, and they had him doing laundryand everything because he could
not.
They were like he carrying hislike and he, literally this boy,
(30:18):
would not sit down.
He carrying a little girloxygen, like, let me tell you
babies are different, but theygive him what he needs, you know
.
But I say all that because yousaid something about that
caffeine, right, and because itdoes have lasting effects on our
children and sometimes we don'tthink about it when they're
doing this and the other, andthe first thing they do is want
to diagnose them with ADHD andall this other stuff.
But then you have to look atJoe Clyde settle down, folks
(30:41):
Settle down.
Yes, lock the door.
Settle down, get the chains off.
Speaker 3 (30:46):
What is his thing?
What?
Is going to help him focus more.
What is it?
Is it video games?
How can we channel that?
So it's still academic.
Yeah, I, like you said that.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
Find out what works best for them.
Speaker 3 (30:59):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
I like how you said that, because I was so against
video games and stuff but Ididn't realize it actually was
helping him.
Yes, um, he did a lot better um, because he had um fine motor
skills issues he had fine motor.
He had a lot of differentthings, but by him doing that
because I mean he didn't tie hisshoe, I think, so he was like
nine or ten because he reallyhad difficulty.
Um we, we talk about it nowthat he's 16.
Speaker 3 (31:23):
He was like yo, I ain't even tying my shoes my son
was a puzzle maniac, like onthe tablet where you had to fit
the pieces he was a puzzlemaniac, he could do like the
fitting puzzles, so we have apuzzles then it was legos now
he's like he's too big for that,but okay yeah yeah, and it's
like you got to find whatthey're great at and let them be
(31:45):
great.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
Yes, I like that because so often we try to put
more pressure on them than theyreally have the capacity and we
should be stretching ourcapacity right but at the same
time, there's a particular waythat it needs to be done and I
like your approach with it.
Yo, you funny.
I'm just sitting here like I'mlooking at you and I'm just
(32:06):
thinking about 50 differentcharacters right now.
I probably can do them all Ican't even look at you and Kim,
no more, I'm just playing.
Speaker 3 (32:15):
Do I have to be, sometimes even to as an adult
you?
Know, to get through things.
I got to be somebody else.
Right now I'm still me, but Iknow that, whatever it is the
reason that I'm here, for themessage that I have to give, I'm
willing to do that.
Put myself back so that I canhelp you increase or move to
(32:36):
where you need to be.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
And then I'm going to be myself again.
Speaker 3 (32:38):
And every now and again in between that I might
got to be myself, because it'stoo much, you know but you know,
and I'm learning, because I cantell you the hard truth but I'm
a little bit more catering topeople, so I'm learning those
things still now right, but Ithink there's times where you
need to be accommodating right,and then there's times where you
(33:01):
need to back off.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
I wasn't going there, sis, that's what.
Speaker 3 (33:08):
Right here Even with my parents being a little bit
more forceful you know they'recute and they want to feed me
and everything.
Okay, but can you?
Stay here for a minute andthey're like oh well, we're
going to let you take over.
When you get here, I'll be likeI don't know what to do.
I don't know, and you know.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
I got to play another role.
Speaker 3 (33:25):
They'll be like can you show me what you do when you
do that, and they'll be lookingat me like come on.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
Do you have a parent who was like, just like not
engaged at all.
And then you like, now when youcome, it's like they're ready
to learn something new, to helpyou, help them be more active,
proactive and show up better fortheir child.
Speaker 3 (33:49):
I would say about 80% of my caseload, because they
don't get that I'm here reallyto teach you to work with your
child.
Not that I'm going to play,because some therapists may do
that, but 80%.
I would say, wow, they are likeoh now, oh, what are we going
to do now?
That is excellent, yeah yeah,yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:09):
So that speaks volumes, we'll leave because
they're crying.
Speaker 3 (34:12):
Oh, you care that they cry.
I don't care that you cry,You're going to get used to it,
so you know it's fine.
No, I don't feel safe with mejust yet.
That's okay.
Make them feel safe, and nowyou make them do what I'm trying
to do.
Speaker 1 (34:32):
So, you can be the bad guy too.
I ain't going to be the bad guyby myself around here.
And then I have parents.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
Sometimes I can see it in them or on them that they
need to take a break.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
Right, you know okay.
Speaker 3 (34:45):
Well, we're going to sing this song.
We're going to do this becauseI do routines.
I always have to sing hello.
Don't you stop me from sayinghello, because they'd be like,
oh nope, he has to wave or shehas to wave.
That's what we do, and I'll doa few things and let them go and
I'll say you know, mom, it'slike it's time to come back.
Oh, look at this.
Let me show you how to do thisso we can work on it next week,
(35:07):
not making them feel bad, forsometimes it is a lot.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
Yeah, it is Two years , man listen.
Two years, listen, ooh, kids.
Speaker 3 (35:16):
But I get to leave, you don't, right?
So you don't have to deal withthis.
Speaker 1 (35:21):
I I have to learn how to deal with this.
I like that I get to leave whenyou don't.
So my job is to get you to aplace where you're comfortable
enough to be able to do this foryour child, because you are
your child's first teacher.
Speaker 3 (35:32):
And I always say I'm exaggerating.
Speaker 2 (35:34):
The kid can see that.
Speaker 3 (35:36):
I'm exaggerating.
You're not going to doeverything that I'm doing while
I'm here for this one hour.
Girl, because ain't nobodymaking them, we just ain't doing
it girl, I said I want you toget a snippet, and then I want
to leave them with something.
Okay, that didn't work with him.
Okay, he can do this.
So now he can work on takingthings out Because, as always, I
want to leave a takeaway I givethem homework.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
I love it, yeah, because you're not just giving
tools.
I remember when we was with thegirls and they're like they
just give us all this stuff andexpect us to do it Like what?
Speaker 1 (36:07):
And these are adults.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
They're like 19 to 24 young girls who we mentor and
they were upset that people werejust handing them stuff and not
instructing them or tellingthem all right, I'm going to
give you this packet, but inthis packet, this is what you're
going to find.
The first three pages are thisWe'll do the first one together.
(36:29):
We'll go to the next chapterExactly, and that's what you do.
You're not just giving them thetools, you're not just showing
them.
You're helping them be able toapply it for when you're there
and for when you're not.
Speaker 1 (36:42):
And I love that I got another question Do you teach
people how to do this littlevoice thing?
Because I'm just like I'm anabber right Ex Kylie.
Speaker 3 (36:51):
Kylie, I'm giving you a shout out.
She came to me and she was likehow you do that baby voice?
So I was telling her how I saidit.
It's in the throat and she wassitting there trying to do it.
So, yes, it.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
So, yes, because I'm just thinking right, kim, you
know I get your services rightand you doing all this with the
kid, and then you leave and theylook at me, think I'm supposed
to make some noise.
I'll be like yo, we need to getkim on speed dial because we
need this recording, because I'mlisten they look like you're
like, uh, the platform rightlike google.
Speaker 3 (37:18):
I taught students with autism right a class of
children with autism and theyall had a different sound and
I'm like I'm the teacher so Iwould go.
Hey, I'm the loudest person inhere and they sat down and
looked at me like what in theworld?
Hey, it works.
Alright, look.
One, two, three go and they'dbe like she's they're like
(37:42):
flying on a flight.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
What do I?
Speaker 3 (37:43):
need to do I'll do If I need to get down, like I sit
on the floor when I come in Isit on the floor, even when I do
my first visit, and I'm writingthe notes and they're like you
can sit in the chair.
Nope, this is where I'm goingto be.
This is where they are.
Put them down here.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
Come on down here Right, meet them.
That whole thing came aboutthey are is just really blowing
my mind.
And not just seeing it butdemonstrate it by even just
physically, like going on thefloor, like not just you know,
developmentally, emotionallymeeting them where they are, but
actually getting down.
I call it getting in the mess,like you get in there, you know,
(38:17):
if you want to know how sandfeel.
It's one thing you see up here,but it's something else when
you sit down in there and you'redoing it.
It's like just you can make allthese little angels in the
center.
Speaker 2 (38:24):
So not just sitting on the surface but going below.
So there you go.
Speaker 3 (38:28):
I learned that when Kai was in speech therapy.
Well it was.
I would go and learn something.
I would go home and practice.
Then they would come to thehouse and video.
Well, first they wouldvideotape what was happening
before the lesson.
I go get the lesson and theycome back and videotape after I
implemented it.
And that's my mindset.
Okay, let me show you.
Then, when I come back, I wantto see what you did and then if
(38:52):
we need tweaks, we're going totweak it.
So it's like getting theycalled it getting down on the
child's level.
Speaker 1 (38:57):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (38:58):
So, okay, I can be down here too, and then it's
more fun, right, and?
Speaker 1 (39:01):
down here too, and then it's more fun, right, and
it's not intimidating likeyou're standing up, like.
Speaker 2 (39:05):
I mean, like when somebody's six foot and they
stand over top of me, I'm justlike and I learned that being in
early education, uh like, evenwhen the state comes and
evaluates your classrooms anddifferent things for certain age
groups, it's it's for you to bein their eyesight on on their
level.
Speaker 3 (39:24):
Yeah, yeah, when you're not.
Speaker 2 (39:26):
It is intimidation.
They will step back.
It does bring fear anddifferent things Versus when
you're on that carpet doingcarpet time.
The kids always love carpettime.
I remember they used to be likewhat y'all really doing in here
?
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (39:37):
I used to be like get in the job done.
Speaker 2 (39:42):
And guess what they would say.
We know who kid that is evenparents would be like can she
please be my kids.
They're like them.
Kids act just like you to allthe other kids.
They're so mature, they're soprepared, but they know what
they needed to know right, theywere on point because, like you
said, meeting them on theirlevel, not I'm the'm the adult,
(40:03):
not I'm superior.
Speaker 3 (40:04):
No, we're doing this together.
Speaker 2 (40:06):
We're going to learn this together.
Guess what I accidentallyskipped four what comes after?
Three what comes after four orfive you messed up.
Yes, adults mess up too, andwhen they would see that and
then they would start doing it.
I said no, no, no, you do theright thing.
(40:31):
No, no, no, no, no, don't dothat, but just showing them that
transparency, being there withthem, like.
So I really love that youbrought that out, because when I
would get down on the floor,sometimes I would sit in the
chair we had, like the big chair.
Yes, and I noticed the responseI would get.
I felt like I was always havingto redirect.
Speaker 3 (40:45):
Yes, redirect.
Speaker 2 (40:47):
Redirect.
It would get so tiring theafter circle time.
It's like let's just go outsidefor a second Right.
But when I would sit down onthe carpet even when I was
pregnant with Victoria sittingdown on the carpet with them it
just was like spectacular, itwas like they understand.
Speaker 3 (41:04):
Oh, okay, I can relate to this person.
They're down.
I have a client.
She's at a daycare because Isee them in the community
wherever they are.
I tell parents we can meet atthe park.
But when she sees her othertherapist the teacher told me
she cries the whole time.
I come in Sometimes she'll cry.
I'm like who?
Speaker 1 (41:22):
No Girl, this is your best friend, she'd be like okay
, all right, all right, yeah,yeah because it's like look,
you're not gonna outdo me,you're gonna have a good time
again.
Like what y'all ain't gonna do,I'm gonna be the longest
running around today and thenthe other kids all coming.
Speaker 3 (41:38):
I was like I love y'all too, but let me get my kid
and if I don't engage with themthey're like uh uh, they
hitting me and stuff okay fine,guess what we gotta do a group
activity let's go the teacher'slike I don't care, go ahead.
Speaker 1 (41:51):
I like that.
One of the I know like I havemedically complex babies right
now and one of my baby.
I read to her right she'swatching everything, and so I
didn't know this.
But the grandma had told methat Dottie Parton gives free
books, right, so that's how shegets on her book Imagination
Library.
Yeah, Thank you.
(42:11):
Imagination Library, and that'show she get on her books.
So books come in every month.
So I was sitting there reading.
Now, Mind you, this baby she'son oxygen and now, but she was
born in 26 weeks and she's onlylike 14 pounds or something
right.
So I'm sitting there reading toher and she's so attentive, she
(42:33):
literally as I'm flipping,she's learning how to flip,
she's doing what I'm doing,moving her hands, because she's
in all types of therapy too andflips.
So then I sat her in her chair,Don't you know?
This girl sat there and heldthe book like she was reading it
.
Nice, I took a picture and sentit to her mom her mom was crying
and I was like, wow, like justbecause a child has these delays
(42:54):
right developmental delays,premature, things like that that
don't mean that they can'tlearn right.
That don't mean that you waituntil they get to a certain
place where you think that theyreally understand it.
Like you got to do it frombirth, like in the womb actually
, so you got to keep.
Like it really blew my mind,Like she literally was like like
with the pages and consistency.
Speaker 3 (43:16):
Yeah, and let's say she couldn't do this with the
pages.
She can hold a book, you canhold her hand, so it's something
she can do.
Speaker 1 (43:22):
I started with that.
Like that's how she startedwith.
Like we were holding.
I was holding, I was like, holdit with me and then I'm talking
to her.
I don't do no more of themother things, I'm talking to her
.
I don't do baby talk, I talk tothese babies.
Speaker 2 (43:39):
Like.
Speaker 1 (43:39):
I've never to speak English.
Speaker 2 (43:40):
The whole baby talk got to go.
Speaker 1 (43:42):
We need to get away from this baby talk as soon as
possible.
I need to understand what you.
We need to communicateeffectively.
Speaker 3 (43:47):
You're not going to parent teens.
Now, little babies, you'resupposed to go hi, You're
supposed to do that.
Speaker 1 (43:53):
Yeah, I know I'm not the one.
Speaker 2 (43:55):
I'm like listen, I'm telling you Hold on.
Speaker 1 (44:08):
What's the movie with the emotions inside out?
Oh yeah, yeah, listen, I'm notbaby talking to baby, and I know
it's crazy.
I'm a pediatric nurse.
You would think that because,because in my mind, in my mind,
donna's giving all the emotions.
I'm like, listen here what wedoing, like because I need you
to, I need to be on this, beable to understand you
eventually like all this so itworked out.
All the kids, my kids beenreading early age and all that,
so anyway, but I thought it wasamazing that, even with being so
(44:31):
complex, that we still need topour into our children yes, and
and they can still like, likeyou said, consistency of routine
really can do it like don't letand that's the other thing I
wanted to tell people, don't leta diagnosis or what a doctor
say or what anybody say aboutyour kid.
You still put in the work withyour kid yes, you do and give
them all the resources possibleso that they can be successful
(44:54):
and whatever success is for themin their capacity.
But don't be afraid to stretchtheir capacity either.
Speaker 3 (45:00):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (45:01):
I have a question.
I know, pam, you got yourfinger out, because I know
that's a question no, it's not aquestion.
Speaker 2 (45:06):
Oh okay, wait, that's not what you're doing you know
she went like that.
You're saying that, speak inthe mic and say, like what it is
that you do, that's yours, thatyou birthed.
Oh okay, she birthed Kai yeah,he's always gonna be be mine
You're being disgusted right now.
Speaker 3 (45:24):
I'm sorry, sis, I'm sorry, sis.
Speaker 1 (45:26):
Okay, I'm going to be here.
Speaker 3 (45:27):
So it's Creative Connections Virtual Preschool,
and what it is is a preschoolreadiness program.
I'm virtual.
It's different platforms.
Parents can access the videolibrary ad-free, and they can
access me for live teacher aswell as the video library ad
free, and they can access me forlive teacher, um, as well as
(45:47):
the video library.
And what I do is I introducethe necessary skills to get your
child preschool ready with, uh,the parent in mind.
So what I give them is anoutline of what they need to do,
and then the parent takes andtakes it and runs with it.
So I'm giving them, uh, okay,so we're going to work on a
(46:09):
letter, a color, a number isalways the same routine Um,
social emotional skill, a lifescience skill.
So I give them the outline ofwhat it's supposed to be and, um
, I introduce it.
I give them homework.
I don't play about my homework.
Speaker 1 (46:25):
So when.
Speaker 3 (46:25):
I see you the next time.
I need to see your color.
You need to be showing mesomething your color, what arts
and craft activity you did, whatletter.
You need to go around the housewith your child and find things
.
So I'll give them things to doto get their child to master
that skill.
Speaker 2 (46:40):
She makes them be involved.
Speaker 3 (46:41):
Yes, yeah, to master that.
She makes them be involved.
Yes, yeah, yeah.
Because you think oh, okay, youknow I'm a stay-at-home mom I
might work on online, so yourchild, yes, for 30 minutes, may
be watching me, but that's justthe intro.
You need to watch the video too, and then you need to go around
and do these things becausewhen they come back, I want them
to have that vocabulary todiscuss it.
So, yep, so I am a home, astay-at-home mom-dad tool to get
(47:08):
your child preschool I meankindergarten ready, right?
Do you have a website?
Yes, it'screativeconnectionspreschoolcom.
Okay, I like that because notConnections with an S.
Speaker 1 (47:18):
I like that, because not all kids actually can go to
preschool.
Well, they all can go, but notfor free.
Is what.
I'm saying Like parents arereally paying a high amount of
money for these kids to go topreschool and the only way that
you go to some of these programsif you have a delay or
something like that, and I thinkthat that is utterly ridiculous
.
It is.
Speaker 3 (47:39):
That's why I had mine .
Yeah, when you're three, if youdon't still have a delay, it
has to be a 25% delay.
Speaker 1 (47:47):
That is in.
Speaker 3 (47:47):
Delaware, you don't get services.
Speaker 1 (47:50):
You don't get services, yeah.
Speaker 3 (47:51):
So I said hey, miss Kip can go somewhere else.
Speaker 1 (47:54):
I like that.
Yeah, so it's called CreativeConnections Virtual Preschool
$45.50 a month.
Speaker 3 (48:02):
What?
Speaker 1 (48:02):
Ain't no way.
Speaker 3 (48:03):
This is the introductory 70% off, a no one
live class and access to thevideo library.
If you just want the library,1950 a month you can't yo and
see.
Speaker 1 (48:15):
Here's the thing, because a lot of times when we
want additional resources, wecan't afford them.
Yes, right, and it's like well,I'm out here trying to do
something strange, for somechange yeah.
I mean like full parents betrying to do what they can't do
for their kids.
Pam, don't look at me like that.
Speaker 3 (48:33):
That's what they be having no and, as it really
evolves, I'm gonna be reachingout to others because I like
this 50 is still a stretch.
45 a month is still a stretch.
There's other people who canhelp and support that.
Speaker 1 (48:49):
Yeah, but I like that because you're giving a
resource, because one of thethings that we hear from parents
is like lack of resources, andhere at Parents with a Purpose,
like our goal and our aim is tomake sure that we get the
resources in the hand of thepeople that need them, and I
think your program is phenomenal.
I think that that you know alot of times we don't really
(49:11):
think about the preschool age.
You know a lot of times we wedon't start until they get in
kindergarten.
It's like what?
By then it's late.
Okay, yes, we need to be doingit from birth, that way that you
know your child can get thebest.
And I like the fact that Iwanted to go back for a second.
I'm sorry.
When you were talking aboutemotional, you were, you even
tap into that yes because a lotof times when if a child hasn't
went to a traditional preschool,they don't know how to deal
(49:31):
with their emotions and thingslike that when they go into
kindergarten, a lot of theseteachers are dealing with more
emotional and behavioral issuesthan academic right.
So I like how you incorporate,like all the needs to make sure
that these kids have the toolsto be successful and
well-rounded and then againhelping the parent who you know
they're thinking abc.
Speaker 3 (49:50):
Okay, it's more than just abcs when it comes to being
school ready, because,especially if they're home now,
they're going to have to dealwith all the ins and outs and
you know the routines andeverything that comes along with
school and that's waiting.
Your turn is not all about youthat's saying please and thank
you all of those things that youneed, right as, as well as
(50:10):
getting used to, uh, what theworld has to offer, transition
yes, I like that because youintroduced the sciences.
Speaker 1 (50:16):
I had um.
I watched it.
I watched a lot of things, butI had it was an educator on
there and she was talking aboutum.
That we think sometimes thatwe're teaching our kids by just
singing them abcs and then.
But then you recognize thatoutside of that song they don't
know it and can't identify,can't identify, or if you say
(50:37):
one letter there, they may beable to go forward with the next
letter but not be able to gobackwards with the other letter.
And the same is with numbers.
So just teaching them a littledeeper than the surface, that
we've learned for years, youknow, and it's crazy because
they took all this time tofigure out that math.
The way we was taught math,like I said this, is it because
it's it and not being explained.
(50:57):
So now our kids is trying tolearn this math where you have
to explain it, and then theparents who we were told not to
explain JAG, and now we areconfused with this math.
Now it's so crazy how things gobackwards.
It's crazy Like when you weretrying to explain.
I don't know, you might notknow this, pam.
Speaker 2 (51:16):
Don't do laughs.
Speaker 1 (51:18):
Just don't do laughs Like when we were growing up,
kim, when we were trying to domath, and they're like no, you
have to do it this way or youhave to do it that way.
One answer right.
And now the kids can do 50answers.
And then we were wrong when wewere trying to do it 50
different ways.
And now these kids can do it 50ways.
And now, because they donestunt our growth, and now we
(51:40):
don't know what to do with thesekids.
They smarter than us these days?
No, you have to think of itthis way, right, I know.
And they walking around, well,I'm smarter than my mom.
No, your mom knew this back inthe day, but they stopped my
girl.
Speaker 3 (51:51):
Hey, I got through high school I pat my son on the
back because he was like Ithought.
He said to me I don't know howto do this and I looked at the
thing and it was like a numberand two letters and I said
what'd you say?
But he would say I'm doing thisnow.
I said, oh cool.
Speaker 1 (52:06):
I had to help you.
I had to help you.
Okay, man, we had fun.
Kim, our time is pretty much upand this has really been
exciting and really eye-openingbecause, you know, I think
everybody has their differentperspective right.
So I kind of like, even when Ibrought up the Dr Umar thing,
(52:27):
you came with your perspectiveof how you were processing it
and I came how I was processingit and we both were processing
differently, but we were stillkind of getting to the same goal
and I like that.
Again, here at Parented with aPurpose, we have uncomfortable
conversations.
Everything is on the table hereand not just my perspective, is
not the only perspective I wantyou guys to hear, and that's
why we bring experts in here andpeople who, just you know, live
(52:48):
the life, to have someexperience, not just by trade,
but actual life experience.
So we certainly appreciate youcoming to the show and breaking
it down and showing us parentshow we can connect with our kids
and how we have to be advocatesfor our kids.
Absolutely, and I reallyappreciate that.
What you got got, ma'am, didyou roll your eyes?
Speaker 3 (53:10):
she tell them about me being a great auntie she is.
Speaker 2 (53:13):
She is an excellent aunt, like I love her so much.
But one thing, one reason Idon't like her sometimes because
I wanted her to like teachVictoria, like the whole time,
and she said I can't just do her, but I'll get her on the
weekends and stuff.
But she's very excellent.
Anytime you have questions,you're just unsure of things,
she's reachable.
(53:34):
She'll meet you where you ask.
She doesn't make you feel like,oh, I'm being a bad parent.
It's like, oh, you were doingthis.
She's going to acknowledge whatyou are actually doing.
So, like we said here, parentsand purpose is not just about
giving you the tools or theresources, but showing you how
to utilize them, when to utilizethem.
(53:55):
And even if you're unsurethings, we are available for you
to connect with us.
We can set up zooms meets,whatever you want to do, um and
also Kim.
Like she said, set up zoomsmeets, whatever you want to do,
um and also kim.
Like she said, she's availablenot just by um, her program and
her business, but she'savailable for, however, and
whatever resources and help thatyou need to help your child be
(54:19):
the best that they can be.
They'll dig in on below thesurface to help bring them up
Because they have Somewhere togo.
Speaker 1 (54:27):
Alright, I like that and Kim Information will be On
our Parenting With a Purposepage.
So every guest that we have onhere, we will list their
Resources on our page so thatyou know how to connect with
them, because we're here To helpyou.
We thank you guys again Forjoining Parenting With a Purpose
.
I am your host, donna Janelle,and I am your co-host, pamela,
and this was Kim.
Okay, come okay, or miss Kim,miss Kim so we certainly thank
(54:50):
you for tuning in again PantherPurpose every Thursday live and
CMP radio net on YouTube,facebook.
You can follow us on PantherPurpose page on Facebook and
just stay connected and reachout to us, because we will.
If we don't know how to dosomething or we don't have the
resources, we will find thoseresources for y'all.
We work day in and day out totry to make sure that parents
(55:12):
get what they need to besuccessful.
So thank you guys again forjoining Parents with a Purpose.
You guys have a great night.
Have fun parenting.
Speaker 3 (55:20):
Thank you.
The Voice of Chester.
Thank you, hey everybody.
(01:19):
Welcome back to Panther with aPurse.
I am your whoa, panther with aPurse.
Yo, we got that bag.
Yo, what's your bag?
Welcome back to Panther with aPurse.
I am your Whoa Parenting with aPurse.
Yo, we got that bag.
Yo, what's your bag?
Welcome back to Parenting witha Purse.
I am your host, donna Janelle,and I am your co-host, pamela,
and you know our Yo.
I can't believe.
I said the purse.
That means that somebody needsto be filling up this purse
right now.
(01:40):
How's everybody doing?
We are here back in the studiowith another episode of Parents
of Purpose.
As you know, parents are theirbowls and our children are our
bowls and they will lay inwherever we aim them, as long as
we equip them.
You know our job as parents isnot to send them outside naked,
because the world will closethem.
As you can see now they'reclosed with all types of stuff I
(02:00):
mean you can identify as a catthese days, y'all.
So you just don't know what'sgoing on with our kids in this
world.
So it's our job and ourresponsibility to make sure that
we close them well, so thatthey be tight and right and
successful right.
As you know, our mission is tobring back the responsibility,
nobility and beauty back intoparenting right.
(02:21):
And how do we do that?
Several ways, like holdingparents accountable.
You know there's a mandate onparenting right now.
So we're holding parentsaccountable to stand up for your
kids.
Do what you need to do.
Parent is your responsibilityto parent your child.
Now, there's several resourcesout here that we can use to help
us different tools, but at theend of the day, matter of fact,
at the beginning of the day, themiddle of the day and the end
(02:42):
of the day and the end of theday, it's our responsibility,
right?
So we want to hone on to thatresponsibility.
So today we have a oh wait, doI want to talk about did she
talk my inner gangster this week?
What did she do this week?
No, she's been pretty good.
She's wrestling, y'all.
The one you know, the16-year-old Dane who's testing
my inner gangster.
She's been good this week.
(03:06):
Y'all she's wrestling.
She's taking all that energyout on the mats.
We've been good this week.
But I do have guess what?
You know?
The one, lizzy Marines.
She hit me up today.
She's like Titi, because shecalled me Titi.
She was like I went to Walmart,I went shopping.
I was like what?
She sent me a picture of allthese groceries because now that
she's in a dorm and she waslike, listen, we ain't finna be
(03:28):
cooking, we ain't finna bebuying food every night.
We ain't here cooking.
I heard that she was like Cece Igot a rice cooker.
She said I got one of to bespending all this money out here
.
She said my friend said thatyou went down the aisle so quick
Did you shop all your life?
(03:48):
Lizzie said she went down everyaisle, got exactly what she
needed.
She was out.
They was like Pittman, you'removing too fast, you're moving
too fast.
But she literally got all thefruits and vegetables and
everything she needed and I waslike, look at you out here
bending the door.
She was like look at you allhere bending the door.
She was like I am, I am Nice.
And I thought that was prettycool because she sent me a
picture of like a bat, like allthese groceries on the floor,
(04:10):
like it is when at home, when weget all the groceries.
And I was like, wow, she smart,you be taking longer in the
grocery store.
No, uh-uh.
So the way I shop y'all, we needto introduce Kim first, because
I'm going to tell y'all Becausethe way I shop, I do online.
First of all, covid donespoiled me.
I do online Because, listen, Iain't got time.
(04:31):
So I shop online and sometimesI pick up, but I get my
groceries delivered.
The only thing I pick up is myBJ's.
I go pull up my car pop out mytrunk.
Pop out my trunk.
They put it in the car for BJ's, but other than that, y'all are
bringing this to my door.
Listen.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
I'm going to be like you For real.
I need to touch my own stuff Metoo.
It's starting to suck.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Now fruits and vegetables and stuff like I go
get and stuff like that, but theother stuff, no, I ain't doing
that.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
All right, we need to introduce guys.
We have an amazing guest.
Her name is Kimoke, but she'sknown as Kim, a special ed
educator.
She's also a loving mother, adevoted wife.
She's just like very awesome.
She'll tell you a little bitmore about herself.
You said say your name, kim,it's on you, okay.
(05:22):
So.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
I am Kim, and often when I say I'm Kim, they say
okay, and I'm like yeah, that'smy name, Kim.
Okay, but anyway, I have been aspecial educator for more than
20 years.
That's all you're going to get,and I love it.
It's what I do.
It's what I've done since ayoung child.
What I've done since a youngchild actually, what got me
(05:44):
interested in special educationwas a birthday party that my
cousin had my younger cousin had.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Oh, I should have shared this with you, and that
was.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
there was a young girl there who was deaf.
She was, I may have been 10,she might have been 6.
Wow, and I was just soconcerned about making sure that
she could communicate, interact, engage, because she wasn't.
So she became my best friendand I just helped her and it
inspired me to learn signlanguage.
(06:12):
I know some now, but I haven'tbeen as consistent.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
I was going to ask you is that how you know sign
language?
Speaker 3 (06:17):
That's where the interest sparked Yep oh wow.
Yeah.
And then from then on, I justbecame everybody's teacher.
Oh, wow, yeah.
And then from then on, I justbecame everybody's teacher.
At 12, I was a live-inbabysitter for one, but like 10
kids would be at the housebecause they knew that I can
handle them.
They were sitting down singinga pile of spaghetti all covered
with cheese.
Kim let me find out.
(06:40):
You got a voice.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
Uh-uh, hold on, hold on.
Kim sing Kim surprise her withsomething.
What a song.
No, you know what I'm talkingabout.
Speaker 3 (06:48):
Oh the baby.
Oh, yes, I do voices too.
You want to hear one?
What Ready?
Watch this Yo.
Oh, that was supposed to be asecret for the Christmas program
, but anyway.
Wait, the Christmas program,but anyway.
So I just do whatever it takesto make kids feel comfortable
and learn, and if I have to crylike a baby or talk like Elmo, I
(07:12):
do it.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Yo flag on a flag.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Who wouldn't want them in their living room?
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Right that is awesome .
Speaker 3 (07:18):
It's my defense if a kid doesn't vibe with me, so I'm
going to do what I need to doto make it happen, wow.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
Yeah, me least two.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
Even though adults are a little harder, I don't
understand them as much as I dothe kids.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
I guess not.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
I have.
I have to do it becauseultimately what I do now with um
, my everything I do ispart-time, but um, with my main
job, is early intervention.
So I go into the homes with thebabies.
Usually it's birth to three.
I usually have two year olds,two year olds, but anyway you
(07:55):
know it's really parent training.
A lot of them like to sit andwatch me like I'm a TV show, but
I'm like no.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
Can you, can you blame?
No, I mean, unless you just did.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
But go ahead and they do, but it's like okay, I do it
.
Now it's your turn, because I'mthere for one hour once a week
right and I want to come backand I'm going to say, oh, did
you try?
Did you try?
And they might like well.
Well, can you do it this time?
All right, let's practice ittogether.
You want to act silly too.
I, I just love.
I love what I do.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
It's almost like teaching and therapy.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
I want everybody to feel comfortable, but first I
have to make them feelcomfortable.
I take my shoes off, I sit downon the floor.
I don't even mind if it's stuffaround, I just pretend like I
don't see it, unless it's a bug.
I might say oh excuse me, Canwe stop, you know?
Speaker 1 (08:42):
but she said it's a bug, we stopped playing on a
plate.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
There's a bug club over here.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
It's not part of the group.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
It's not part of the session.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
This is not part of the session today.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
Okay, and I've learned over time how to say it
in a way that it still makesthem feel comfortable.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
to let me back in next week because it all says
come over and get this.
But the truth is the truth,right?
Yeah, yeah, I get it becauseI'm in home care.
So I'm in people home.
Yes, yes, and it's not an hourcamp.
I'm in people eight hoursovernight I'm in, I'm out.
Yeah, now let me ask you aquestion because I love this
(09:19):
about you um, can you tell usthe importance of, uh, early,
early intervention?
And the reason why I'mprefacing this question first is
because I got a follow-upquestion.
Well, follow-up questionstatement after that, tell me
how, why early intervention isso important.
Speaker 3 (09:38):
Okay, well, one learning starts in the womb
talking to to your child,talking, singing.
My son got scriptures read tohim and he was born premature,
so he had that for 80 daysstraight right on me.
But it's like they can hear,they can understand, even though
they're not communicating yet.
They're able to understand andthey're able to hear and they
(10:02):
get that connection with you.
And why wait?
Speaker 2 (10:08):
and if let's say there is a delay, a delay.
Speaker 3 (10:10):
You want to address that delay as soon as possible,
right, therefore, when they getolder, it's gone it's gone but
it's like the longer you wait,the harder it is for them to try
to master skills that they'vealready lost or have been behind
on.
So that's why I think.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
So I was listening to .
You know I deal with medicallycomplex P's, so the preemies and
all that.
And then Joshua himself wasborn preemie and he had a lot of
different speech delays andthings like that.
So I was listening to Dr Umar.
Are you familiar with Dr Umar?
Speaker 2 (10:41):
Yes, I'm familiar Okay.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
So I was listening to .
He was on somebody's podcastand you know they deem him as a
black guy pretty much and he hassaid that we got to stop
letting people evaluate our kidsearly you know, give them some
time and saying all this crazystuff.
And it's like I've been doingpeace for 24 years and I see the
(11:03):
importance of early um, likeknowing, awareness and things
like that intervention and hewas just saying that our black
community got to stop lettingthese people diagnose our kids
and stop.
You know, you shouldn't bediagnosed or even evaluated for
autism until they like six,seven or eight.
And I was like I don't knowwhere he's from, what planet
he's from like we had this talkbecause like I'm, like that's
(11:25):
ridiculous you do, I do.
Speaker 3 (11:28):
Help me understand that Because when I go into the
home, Well, not particularlyjust for autism or anything.
Well, put it this way yes, I dofeel like if there is a delay,
then it needs to be addressed.
Birth to three is free peopleGet those people in there that
your child does not have to bediagnosed, but the need is going
(11:50):
to be addressed.
Like I had a family today askabout diagnosing for autism and
I said I don't care.
My focus is on what does heneed.
Does he need to interact withothers?
Does he need to followdirections?
Does he need to label?
Does he need what does he needto do?
That's what I'm going toaddress.
So it doesn't matter what thedisability is, I'm addressing
(12:13):
and focusing on the delay.
So if there is something thatyour child and everybody is
everywhere, all over thedevelopmental spectrum, but if
there's something that you seethat your child should be doing
and they're not or you know it's, get those people in there, get
right in there.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Evaluation is important.
I'm not saying dying because wedon't diagnose under three
anyway with autism, right, somefamilies do and I just say well,
the doctors do with thefamilies, because there's a,
there's a rule.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
Well, the doctors may suggest, but oftentimes I get
the families wanting to knowyeah, but we don't as a doctor's
office, like they will notdiagnose you for autism
depending on where you gobecause it's some private
practices do.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
But evaluation is important.
Yes, right, early evaluation,because I've seen firsthand what
early evaluation do and I thinka lot of people get hung up on
different diagnoses.
Yes, right, yes, um, because Ido.
I remember in differentsituations for development,
growing up, um, for parents.
But a lot of times what we tryto at least as a nurse, what I
(13:16):
try to emphasize is that thediagnosis actually helped you
get more resources.
Yes, like you know, I haveparents who crying and upset
that their child is diagnosedwith like CP or something like
that, and what I try to explainto them is that now you're able
to get the extra resourcesbecause if they don't diagnose
your child like I'm not talkingabout like early, early, but
(13:38):
they don't diagnose your childyou're not getting those extra
resources.
So a lot of times people gethung up.
So when Dr Umar was saying, theway he was prefacing is that
you don't get your childevaluated, and that's my concern
is like if you as a parent knowthat your child has a speech
delay or just not communicatingwell or something's off, why
wouldn't you want your childevaluated?
(13:59):
Like that's what earlyintervention is for, so that we
stop it before it becomes aproblem.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
So evaluate it, not diagnose it Right.
Yeah, because you want to givethem a chance.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Right, so I get.
But he was saying don't letthem evaluate.
Don't let nobody evaluate yourkid at such a young age.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
Well, that's how they get the services, yeah, so, and
then they're like but what wesupposed to do?
Speaker 1 (14:25):
Like, just let Just let them be, like, not like.
I'm confused.
And did he say what hisreasoning was?
He was saying because you know,they want to do all this extra
stuff to black kids, this, thatand the other.
And I'm just like, dude, whatplanet you been in?
I understand that.
But I've seen both sides, right.
I've seen my own child, right.
Actually, I see three sides.
I see my own child, I see howother parents think about it in
their perspective and I see themedical side, yes, and I see
(14:46):
firsthand what early evaluationdo so that these kids don't grow
up with it.
And then here's the other thingso if we don't evaluate these
kids and get these kids earlyintervention, now they're
growing up.
They got delays and stutter,then they again teased and all
this other stuff because theparents dropped the bomb like it
(15:07):
comes more than just oh,something's wrong, my child, or
there is some type of delay,because delay is not denial.
First of all, and I.
Speaker 3 (15:15):
Just something more has to be addressed yeah, my son
was born at 26 weeks fast, butanyway, um, I I knew what I knew
, but I knew I learned morebecause of him, yeah.
So the speech part really cameinto play because he was delayed
with language and they werelike no, he's fine, okay,
because I'm working with them,but come on, they didn't want to
(15:36):
give him the speech services.
So I went to a program throughEasterseals and it was the
Hannon method, which I I usedtoday.
It was awesome because, itforced me, as a parent, to look
at my child differently, basedon what I usually do.
Nope, you sit back and watchyou.
Let them come to you more soI'm able to help other parents
(15:58):
more so because of what I had togo through with him, yeah, I.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
I get that, but I wanted the services.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
I wanted them to say look at him because he was
premature, but they were likehe's fine, but his elbow you
couldn't really tell with a lotof things, though His elbow was
kind of, and you know, somebodyjust said you know what I see
what you're saying it wasn'tthat he was delayed, so to speak
but he just helped.
(16:30):
But that's my role as a specialeducator, especially,
especially for earlyintervention is to make the
parents be their own right, bestadvocate for their child
absolutely jump in, jump inthere.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
So if I can, do that, then you're own best advocate.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
Yeah, because I know like, because why not?
Yeah, why not?
And I get what you're saying.
I know having Joshua beingpremature and as complex as he
was it helped me be a betternurse.
Yes, but being a nurse alsohelped me be a better parent.
It kind of like hand in hand.
I grew so much in my nursingand then I grew so much in my
(17:06):
parenting.
And when you talk about beingan advocate for your kid, like
you really really got toadvocate for them just to make
sure that they get all thethings that they need, yes,
that's the important.
Like we all want our kids to besuccessful, right.
And like sometimes what I foundand I don't know if you see
this, or not.
In parents it's like they a lotof times parents are embarrassed
(17:27):
that's what I was and they kindof like ignore it or avoid it,
and and then next, you know,it's like a bigger problem when
they're in school and theyactually go to like elementary
school and then they present aproblem and then we need IEP
because this kid needs all thisextra attention.
And the parents was like well,well, what?
No, baby girl, it's been goingon, yeah.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
I know and then like for me, um, my services is so
popular early childhood specialeducator, because it's easier to
swallow than speech, or youknow physical therapy or it's
easier to swallow, but I do alittle bit of everything and
then if I see the need thatsomeone else needs to come in,
I'm coaching the parent.
(18:09):
I'm like guess what?
It's early, let's get as muchas they need right now so that
when they get older and usuallythey go along with it.
But I mean, it's a lot to havesomeone come into your home,
yeah you know, and it's likethey want to say oh baby, I'm
not doing this, right, you are,and that's why we're going to do
it together when I come in.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
Oftentimes, I like that.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
Yeah, no, no, no parent involvement, come on, yes
yes, they look at me like andthen when I train people too,
they come and they observe andthey get involved Like if they
have to take over the session,nope, I don't do that.
I may play with the child forlike 10 minutes and then I'm
just like here, give the ball tomommy.
And if I see the parents excuseme trying to stray away, I'm
(18:50):
like go give this to mommy, comeon, let's go.
You know, daddy go get thatBecause you have to you know
daddy go get dad Because youhave to, and that's my, I guess,
biggest challenge is to let theparents know that it doesn't
stop with me.
I think I'm pretty good, I likethat, but I need your help
because you have to do it and Ireally want to know did you try
(19:10):
to have them pull apart theblock when I wasn't here, right?
Speaker 2 (19:24):
And if not, what can I do to help you?
It if they, if you did do itand they didn't.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
What do I need to help make them be able to do it?
So I saw a question do youinterview them before you go
into the house?
Um, not interview.
So they'll say would you likethis client?
And I'll say yes, usually basedon the address, because I like
to travel close to where I am.
Oh and but my first impressionwhen I do the evaluation, it
really is just paperwork.
And then I ask them a wholebunch of questions about the
different developmental areas.
I paint the picture of what itlooks like Even when I'm not
(19:49):
really working with a childbecause I'm doing paperwork.
But it's like the whole timeI'm saying oh, can you stand him
up like that, let me see if hecan do this.
Oh, can you give him that cup,let's see if he can do this.
Oh, can you give him that cup,let's see if he can tap it
together.
So I'm already building thatstandard that you're going to be
in here doing it.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
Yeah, I like that, because so many times and I
don't know what it is, but a lotof times parents they pass the
buck to someone else.
And we see that in earlyintervention, we see it earlier
childhood, we see it in earlierchildhood, we see it in a lot of
different things.
It's like all right, here it isyou fix them, you do this and
that and the other.
And here at Parented with aPurpose, like we've really since
(20:24):
September, been honing in onparental involvement and how
important it is.
Speaker 3 (20:30):
And it is probably personality too, because there
are many, many therapists and alot of times parents say, oh
well, they don't do that or theydon't you know?
Well, guess what this is, MsKim, Come on, get in here.
Kim hit her with a smile.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
Wait, Kim hit her with a smile.
Wait, did you make the noisetoo, Do you do?
Sounds like hey, does this careIf I have to?
Speaker 3 (20:53):
Like today I work with a child.
She is very medically fragilewith a vent and everything.
If you could not see her, youwould think I was working with a
child that was running aroundthe room, because that's how I
feel that they're gonna be.
So that's how I do.
I was like go girl, come on up.
Up, you want to go up?
It's just like I have to liveit for them until they can live
(21:17):
it themselves.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
Wow, you can tell that you love this too, kim,
like you're like your cheeks arelike no, but that's good
because you find, I like,because it's not conventional,
it's not one way.
No, you, you really meet themwhere they are and bring them up
where you what they need to be,and I think that's a word right
there meet them where they areand bring them what they need to
be yes they have somewhere togo.
Speaker 3 (21:38):
Yeah, oh, shut up, look you going, come on, you
going.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
But that is so important.
I love your approach, kim,because parental involvement is
so important, because at home weare the first teachers, we're
the first lovers, we're thefirst everything Cheerleaders,
and a lot of times, you know, wewant to pass the buck and I
think that it's such a mandateon parenting right now that we
have to, from womb to the tomb.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
Yes, and I never thought about it like the
personality thing.
Speaker 3 (22:09):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
Like even with certain dads like I'll hear them
tell my husband like, oh mygosh, you do this with Victoria,
you do that, whoa.
I ain't start doing that tillmy child was like six and he's
like what?
There are daughters.
Why wouldn't you want to dothat with your daughter?
Why wouldn't you want them toexperience that from their
father?
Right?
and everything's in their life.
I guess I never looked at itlike there, hasn't been exposed
(22:33):
to me like that because it's alittle girl.
But if it's a little boy thenit's okay.
But then you still have fatherswho will be standoffish until
the child gets a certain age,right like I have a family
member who in their relationshipit was mom takes care up until
fifth grade, like she deals withthem to the same and after
fifth grade it's all.
(22:53):
It's all that, oh.
She said, because they had boysand she said it's certain things
after they say they need youhands on If I need to show up
here and there, but for you theyneed you hands on it's together
.
Speaker 3 (23:09):
I get the dads involved.
They're not on the couch.
Give it to daddy, or you knowlike the dad will say he's not
going to do well today.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
Says who Right.
Speaker 3 (23:20):
That's it, that's feeling out.
Okay, he might be tired, andthen he's like oh, you did well.
Okay, now go give this truck todaddy.
Now, when he gets it, you goready, set and wait, go.
It's like coaching him.
And then they're involved andnow they come and sit.
I have one day he's like wait aminute, we didn't do the songs.
That's the best part.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
I'm like, okay, let's do the songs, don't be sure,
changing us today.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
Kim, we're all in this together and a shameless
plug.
But which Birth CreativeConnections Virtual Preschool,
which is just up and running,because a lot of my babies, when
they turn three, they may notqualify for anything.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
Right.
Speaker 3 (24:02):
But it's still those opportunities for the parents to
get in there and coach andteach and train with support
from a special educator that'sgoing to push them to do it and
give them tools to do it.
So you know it doesn't stopthere.
They still have to.
After they turn three.
They have to get kindergartenready.
Still have to.
After they turn three.
They have to get kindergartenready when they get into
kindergarten right, they alwaysget ready to go somewhere.
(24:22):
Yep yep, my son is 14 in highschool now and I am so thankful,
thank you god that I can backoff of him because the work was
done.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
Yeah yeah, he knows the expectation.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
He knows the expectation, he knows the
routines, he knows theconsistency.
And you know teenagers, theytry you.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
And he got run over, don't they?
Yes, he does.
Speaker 3 (24:42):
Do he touch you in the?
Speaker 1 (24:43):
gangster.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
You got in the gangster.
Yes, he does.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
You got in the gangster.
I know you do Never mind, astold.
Speaker 3 (24:52):
But you have to.
And I tell him now Kaiai, doyou understand what mommy's
doing?
Do you understand why I didthis?
Do you see?
Now?
And like when I said he gets,if he gets an 80, I'm like, oh,
you need to go study.
You you're not failing, kai,but what I'm telling you is that
you are 100 material.
So if you don't get that 100,then you're gonna study until
(25:14):
you do get it.
And if you don't get it, atleast you know you put your best
effort in.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
Right, I like the best effort thing I know.
Like and it's probably weswitching the subject a little
bit I had a conversation with afriend and we were talking about
, like what we pour into ourkids and how we education-wise
right, and I remember, with myoldest daughter, who's 25, like
I push education, like you needto be the best of the best, the
(25:40):
highest of the highest, thegreatest of the greatest, like
you have to work twice as hardbecause it this than the other.
And we had a conversationbecause she did that with her
oldest daughter.
But now, uh, with the election,this is what what came up.
It's because you know, kamalashe's, she was always at the top
of her class, she was the greatof the great, the best of the
best, and it still didn't workout for her to be president.
So it's like sometimes and Ihad another conversation with
(26:04):
somebody and we were just sayingthat we are so geared as
African Americans to teach ourchildren to be the best of the
best and it adds a lot of stresson them we want you to have the
best that you can be rightGetting them to say you got to
work twice as hard because ofthis and that like it adds so
(26:25):
much stress on them and then ifthey don't get it, it's like,
it's almost like well, theydidn't put enough effort into it
.
But that's not true.
Right, because I feel likethat's how you approach it too,
yeah we put so much pressure onour kids, and I'm guilty of it
because I've done that with myoldest.
I don't do that with the otherones.
Now, what do you want to be?
How do you want to show up inthis world?
What impact do you want to be?
(26:46):
Because then we're going towork towards that.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
Let me expose you to some other things.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
Yeah, because a lot of times, and it's because we've
always been taught you gotta bejust as twice as better, you
gotta work twice as hard becauseof your skin color, right?
But that adds so much pressureon our children, it's like
they're not enough, right?
Speaker 3 (27:04):
And see, I'm sorry but my baby is the best, but
right and I know him and I knowwhen.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
yes, Because there's a difference when I'm doing too
much and when I'm not.
Speaker 3 (27:17):
And he will get too lax a daisy on stuff that you
know he's like.
Speaker 1 (27:22):
It's just easy to me Right, but that still doesn't
mean, you don't have thestrength to work, yeah Right,
but you have a relationship anda lot of times parents don't
have relationship with theirkids.
They're literally just saying Ineed you to show up in the
world a certain way because weput our expectations on them,
not how they really need to livefor themselves.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
Mom, I need you to show up Mom.
Speaker 3 (27:43):
I did my best.
Yeah, that's all we ask.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
But it takes a relationship with your children.
You know how far to push them.
I know how far to push my kidsnow.
For example, when Lizzie wastalking about the military, she
had already signed up.
She wanted to go, but towardsthe end it started getting
harder and she had so manydifferent challenges and then
she was like, never mind, I'mgoing to work at Panera Bread.
I said who?
No, she didn't.
(28:07):
I said who, but I had to getindignant to tell her that's a
no.
And because now, mind you, shewas hot out of society, she was,
you know, doing all thesethings and she was like I'm just
gonna go work at Panera Breadand maybe take off for a year
and go back and just say who,where, how.
And I was so and I literallywas like you ain't living here
(28:28):
doing that, like I literally hadto go there because I knew what
was in her.
Yes, I knew what she wanted.
Right, it wasn't like I wasforcing something on her that I
wanted for myself, because a lotof times parents do right but
because of our relationship andI knew what she wanted and I had
to show up as a mom, because asparents we make unpopular
decisions, right and I don'tcare, because I'm not your
little friend right, so I don'tget to be your friend until you
(28:51):
move out.
Speaker 3 (28:51):
Yeah, yeah, because now she was on the phone away
here like we was vibing, youknow, but you got to know your
child.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
And when we talk about parental involvement, I
said all that to say becausethat's why parental involvement
is so important, because as youhave a relationship with your
children, you're able to knowhow much to push them and then
you're able to say, okay, isthis for him or her or is it for
me?
Speaker 3 (29:14):
and then even thinking about my son in his
early years.
You know he got the caffeinewhen he was in the NICU.
You know he was a little busy.
He was busy.
Same thing, josh, but oh man,very smart, you know, but the
teachers didn't see that yeah soI had to make sure that they
saw it yeah so I'm like kai,come on, let's go.
And he knew it.
(29:34):
That was what structured himthroughout life thank goodness,
because that's what mommy knewbut so that he can show his best
self.
And they were like kyron who hewas seriously wait that.
Kyron said like he was movingaround all the time, whatever oh
man, take the teacher in theback side, like they had to be
so yo, joshua was so busy, likeyou know those weighted uh vests
(29:56):
?
Speaker 1 (29:56):
yo, because they had, yes, I love those.
Do you know what those?
Yo, because they had.
This boy would not like theyhad to wait a minute.
Listen, he went to nursing kidsand medical daycare, right, yes
, and they had him doing laundryand everything because he could
not.
They were like he carrying hislike and he, literally this boy,
(30:18):
would not sit down.
He carrying a little girloxygen, like, let me tell you
babies are different, but theygive him what he needs, you know
.
But I say all that because yousaid something about that
caffeine, right, and because itdoes have lasting effects on our
children and sometimes we don'tthink about it when they're
doing this and the other, andthe first thing they do is want
to diagnose them with ADHD andall this other stuff.
But then you have to look atJoe Clyde settle down, folks
(30:41):
Settle down.
Yes, lock the door.
Settle down, get the chains off.
Speaker 3 (30:46):
What is his thing?
What?
Is going to help him focus more.
What is it?
Is it video games?
How can we channel that?
So it's still academic.
Yeah, I, like you said that.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
Find out what works best for them.
Speaker 3 (30:59):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
I like how you said that, because I was so against
video games and stuff but Ididn't realize it actually was
helping him.
Yes, um, he did a lot better um, because he had um fine motor
skills issues he had fine motor.
He had a lot of differentthings, but by him doing that
because I mean he didn't tie hisshoe, I think, so he was like
nine or ten because he reallyhad difficulty.
Um we, we talk about it nowthat he's 16.
Speaker 3 (31:23):
He was like yo, I ain't even tying my shoes my son
was a puzzle maniac, like onthe tablet where you had to fit
the pieces he was a puzzlemaniac, he could do like the
fitting puzzles, so we have apuzzles then it was legos now
he's like he's too big for that,but okay yeah yeah, and it's
like you got to find whatthey're great at and let them be
(31:45):
great.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
Yes, I like that because so often we try to put
more pressure on them than theyreally have the capacity and we
should be stretching ourcapacity right but at the same
time, there's a particular waythat it needs to be done and I
like your approach with it.
Yo, you funny.
I'm just sitting here like I'mlooking at you and I'm just
(32:06):
thinking about 50 differentcharacters right now.
I probably can do them all Ican't even look at you and Kim,
no more, I'm just playing.
Speaker 3 (32:15):
Do I have to be, sometimes even to as an adult
you?
Know, to get through things.
I got to be somebody else.
Right now I'm still me, but Iknow that, whatever it is the
reason that I'm here, for themessage that I have to give, I'm
willing to do that.
Put myself back so that I canhelp you increase or move to
(32:36):
where you need to be.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
And then I'm going to be myself again.
Speaker 3 (32:38):
And every now and again in between that I might
got to be myself, because it'stoo much, you know but you know,
and I'm learning, because I cantell you the hard truth but I'm
a little bit more catering topeople, so I'm learning those
things still now right, but Ithink there's times where you
need to be accommodating right,and then there's times where you
(33:01):
need to back off.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
I wasn't going there, sis, that's what.
Speaker 3 (33:08):
Right here Even with my parents being a little bit
more forceful you know they'recute and they want to feed me
and everything.
Okay, but can you?
Stay here for a minute andthey're like oh well, we're
going to let you take over.
When you get here, I'll be likeI don't know what to do.
I don't know, and you know.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
I got to play another role.
Speaker 3 (33:25):
They'll be like can you show me what you do when you
do that, and they'll be lookingat me like come on.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
Do you have a parent who was like, just like not
engaged at all.
And then you like, now when youcome, it's like they're ready
to learn something new, to helpyou, help them be more active,
proactive and show up better fortheir child.
Speaker 3 (33:49):
I would say about 80% of my caseload, because they
don't get that I'm here reallyto teach you to work with your
child.
Not that I'm going to play,because some therapists may do
that, but 80%.
I would say, wow, they are likeoh now, oh, what are we going
to do now?
That is excellent, yeah yeah,yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:09):
So that speaks volumes, we'll leave because
they're crying.
Speaker 3 (34:12):
Oh, you care that they cry.
I don't care that you cry,You're going to get used to it,
so you know it's fine.
No, I don't feel safe with mejust yet.
That's okay.
Make them feel safe, and nowyou make them do what I'm trying
to do.
Speaker 1 (34:32):
So, you can be the bad guy too.
I ain't going to be the bad guyby myself around here.
And then I have parents.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
Sometimes I can see it in them or on them that they
need to take a break.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
Right, you know okay.
Speaker 3 (34:45):
Well, we're going to sing this song.
We're going to do this becauseI do routines.
I always have to sing hello.
Don't you stop me from sayinghello, because they'd be like,
oh nope, he has to wave or shehas to wave.
That's what we do, and I'll doa few things and let them go and
I'll say you know, mom, it'slike it's time to come back.
Oh, look at this.
Let me show you how to do thisso we can work on it next week,
(35:07):
not making them feel bad, forsometimes it is a lot.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
Yeah, it is Two years , man listen.
Two years, listen, ooh, kids.
Speaker 3 (35:16):
But I get to leave, you don't, right?
So you don't have to deal withthis.
Speaker 1 (35:21):
I I have to learn how to deal with this.
I like that I get to leave whenyou don't.
So my job is to get you to aplace where you're comfortable
enough to be able to do this foryour child, because you are
your child's first teacher.
Speaker 3 (35:32):
And I always say I'm exaggerating.
Speaker 2 (35:34):
The kid can see that.
Speaker 3 (35:36):
I'm exaggerating.
You're not going to doeverything that I'm doing while
I'm here for this one hour.
Girl, because ain't nobodymaking them, we just ain't doing
it girl, I said I want you toget a snippet, and then I want
to leave them with something.
Okay, that didn't work with him.
Okay, he can do this.
So now he can work on takingthings out Because, as always, I
want to leave a takeaway I givethem homework.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
I love it, yeah, because you're not just giving
tools.
I remember when we was with thegirls and they're like they
just give us all this stuff andexpect us to do it Like what?
Speaker 1 (36:07):
And these are adults.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
They're like 19 to 24 young girls who we mentor and
they were upset that people werejust handing them stuff and not
instructing them or tellingthem all right, I'm going to
give you this packet, but inthis packet, this is what you're
going to find.
The first three pages are thisWe'll do the first one together.
(36:29):
We'll go to the next chapterExactly, and that's what you do.
You're not just giving them thetools, you're not just showing
them.
You're helping them be able toapply it for when you're there
and for when you're not.
Speaker 1 (36:42):
And I love that I got another question Do you teach
people how to do this littlevoice thing?
Because I'm just like I'm anabber right Ex Kylie.
Speaker 3 (36:51):
Kylie, I'm giving you a shout out.
She came to me and she was likehow you do that baby voice?
So I was telling her how I saidit.
It's in the throat and she wassitting there trying to do it.
So, yes, it.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
So, yes, because I'm just thinking right, kim, you
know I get your services rightand you doing all this with the
kid, and then you leave and theylook at me, think I'm supposed
to make some noise.
I'll be like yo, we need to getkim on speed dial because we
need this recording, because I'mlisten they look like you're
like, uh, the platform rightlike google.
Speaker 3 (37:18):
I taught students with autism right a class of
children with autism and theyall had a different sound and
I'm like I'm the teacher so Iwould go.
Hey, I'm the loudest person inhere and they sat down and
looked at me like what in theworld?
Hey, it works.
Alright, look.
One, two, three go and they'dbe like she's they're like
(37:42):
flying on a flight.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
What do I?
Speaker 3 (37:43):
need to do I'll do If I need to get down, like I sit
on the floor when I come in Isit on the floor, even when I do
my first visit, and I'm writingthe notes and they're like you
can sit in the chair.
Nope, this is where I'm goingto be.
This is where they are.
Put them down here.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
Come on down here Right, meet them.
That whole thing came aboutthey are is just really blowing
my mind.
And not just seeing it butdemonstrate it by even just
physically, like going on thefloor, like not just you know,
developmentally, emotionallymeeting them where they are, but
actually getting down.
I call it getting in the mess,like you get in there, you know,
(38:17):
if you want to know how sandfeel.
It's one thing you see up here,but it's something else when
you sit down in there and you'redoing it.
It's like just you can make allthese little angels in the
center.
Speaker 2 (38:24):
So not just sitting on the surface but going below.
So there you go.
Speaker 3 (38:28):
I learned that when Kai was in speech therapy.
Well it was.
I would go and learn something.
I would go home and practice.
Then they would come to thehouse and video.
Well, first they wouldvideotape what was happening
before the lesson.
I go get the lesson and theycome back and videotape after I
implemented it.
And that's my mindset.
Okay, let me show you.
Then, when I come back, I wantto see what you did and then if
(38:52):
we need tweaks, we're going totweak it.
So it's like getting theycalled it getting down on the
child's level.
Speaker 1 (38:57):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (38:58):
So, okay, I can be down here too, and then it's
more fun, right, and?
Speaker 1 (39:01):
down here too, and then it's more fun, right, and
it's not intimidating likeyou're standing up, like.
Speaker 2 (39:05):
I mean, like when somebody's six foot and they
stand over top of me, I'm justlike and I learned that being in
early education, uh like, evenwhen the state comes and
evaluates your classrooms anddifferent things for certain age
groups, it's it's for you to bein their eyesight on on their
level.
Speaker 3 (39:24):
Yeah, yeah, when you're not.
Speaker 2 (39:26):
It is intimidation.
They will step back.
It does bring fear anddifferent things Versus when
you're on that carpet doingcarpet time.
The kids always love carpettime.
I remember they used to be likewhat y'all really doing in here
?
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (39:37):
I used to be like get in the job done.
Speaker 2 (39:42):
And guess what they would say.
We know who kid that is evenparents would be like can she
please be my kids.
They're like them.
Kids act just like you to allthe other kids.
They're so mature, they're soprepared, but they know what
they needed to know right, theywere on point because, like you
said, meeting them on theirlevel, not I'm the'm the adult,
(40:03):
not I'm superior.
Speaker 3 (40:04):
No, we're doing this together.
Speaker 2 (40:06):
We're going to learn this together.
Guess what I accidentallyskipped four what comes after?
Three what comes after four orfive you messed up.
Yes, adults mess up too, andwhen they would see that and
then they would start doing it.
I said no, no, no, you do theright thing.
(40:31):
No, no, no, no, no, don't dothat, but just showing them that
transparency, being there withthem, like.
So I really love that youbrought that out, because when I
would get down on the floor,sometimes I would sit in the
chair we had, like the big chair.
Yes, and I noticed the responseI would get.
I felt like I was always havingto redirect.
Speaker 3 (40:45):
Yes, redirect.
Speaker 2 (40:47):
Redirect.
It would get so tiring theafter circle time.
It's like let's just go outsidefor a second Right.
But when I would sit down onthe carpet even when I was
pregnant with Victoria sittingdown on the carpet with them it
just was like spectacular, itwas like they understand.
Speaker 3 (41:04):
Oh, okay, I can relate to this person.
They're down.
I have a client.
She's at a daycare because Isee them in the community
wherever they are.
I tell parents we can meet atthe park.
But when she sees her othertherapist the teacher told me
she cries the whole time.
I come in Sometimes she'll cry.
I'm like who?
Speaker 1 (41:22):
No Girl, this is your best friend, she'd be like okay
, all right, all right, yeah,yeah because it's like look,
you're not gonna outdo me,you're gonna have a good time
again.
Like what y'all ain't gonna do,I'm gonna be the longest
running around today and thenthe other kids all coming.
Speaker 3 (41:38):
I was like I love y'all too, but let me get my kid
and if I don't engage with themthey're like uh uh, they
hitting me and stuff okay fine,guess what we gotta do a group
activity let's go the teacher'slike I don't care, go ahead.
Speaker 1 (41:51):
I like that.
One of the I know like I havemedically complex babies right
now and one of my baby.
I read to her right she'swatching everything, and so I
didn't know this.
But the grandma had told methat Dottie Parton gives free
books, right, so that's how shegets on her book Imagination
Library.
Yeah, Thank you.
(42:11):
Imagination Library, and that'show she get on her books.
So books come in every month.
So I was sitting there reading.
Now, Mind you, this baby she'son oxygen and now, but she was
born in 26 weeks and she's onlylike 14 pounds or something
right.
So I'm sitting there reading toher and she's so attentive, she
(42:33):
literally as I'm flipping,she's learning how to flip,
she's doing what I'm doing,moving her hands, because she's
in all types of therapy too andflips.
So then I sat her in her chair,Don't you know?
This girl sat there and heldthe book like she was reading it
.
Nice, I took a picture and sentit to her mom her mom was crying
and I was like, wow, like justbecause a child has these delays
(42:54):
right developmental delays,premature, things like that that
don't mean that they can'tlearn right.
That don't mean that you waituntil they get to a certain
place where you think that theyreally understand it.
Like you got to do it frombirth, like in the womb actually
, so you got to keep.
Like it really blew my mind,Like she literally was like like
with the pages and consistency.
Speaker 3 (43:16):
Yeah, and let's say she couldn't do this with the
pages.
She can hold a book, you canhold her hand, so it's something
she can do.
Speaker 1 (43:22):
I started with that.
Like that's how she startedwith.
Like we were holding.
I was holding, I was like, holdit with me and then I'm talking
to her.
I don't do no more of themother things, I'm talking to her
.
I don't do baby talk, I talk tothese babies.
Speaker 2 (43:39):
Like.
Speaker 1 (43:39):
I've never to speak English.
Speaker 2 (43:40):
The whole baby talk got to go.
Speaker 1 (43:42):
We need to get away from this baby talk as soon as
possible.
I need to understand what you.
We need to communicateeffectively.
Speaker 3 (43:47):
You're not going to parent teens.
Now, little babies, you'resupposed to go hi, You're
supposed to do that.
Speaker 1 (43:53):
Yeah, I know I'm not the one.
Speaker 2 (43:55):
I'm like listen, I'm telling you Hold on.
Speaker 1 (44:08):
What's the movie with the emotions inside out?
Oh yeah, yeah, listen, I'm notbaby talking to baby, and I know
it's crazy.
I'm a pediatric nurse.
You would think that because,because in my mind, in my mind,
donna's giving all the emotions.
I'm like, listen here what wedoing, like because I need you
to, I need to be on this, beable to understand you
eventually like all this so itworked out.
All the kids, my kids beenreading early age and all that,
so anyway, but I thought it wasamazing that, even with being so
(44:31):
complex, that we still need topour into our children yes, and
and they can still like, likeyou said, consistency of routine
really can do it like don't letand that's the other thing I
wanted to tell people, don't leta diagnosis or what a doctor
say or what anybody say aboutyour kid.
You still put in the work withyour kid yes, you do and give
them all the resources possibleso that they can be successful
(44:54):
and whatever success is for themin their capacity.
But don't be afraid to stretchtheir capacity either.
Speaker 3 (45:00):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (45:01):
I have a question.
I know, pam, you got yourfinger out, because I know
that's a question no, it's not aquestion.
Speaker 2 (45:06):
Oh okay, wait, that's not what you're doing you know
she went like that.
You're saying that, speak inthe mic and say, like what it is
that you do, that's yours, thatyou birthed.
Oh okay, she birthed Kai yeah,he's always gonna be be mine
You're being disgusted right now.
Speaker 3 (45:24):
I'm sorry, sis, I'm sorry, sis.
Speaker 1 (45:26):
Okay, I'm going to be here.
Speaker 3 (45:27):
So it's Creative Connections Virtual Preschool,
and what it is is a preschoolreadiness program.
I'm virtual.
It's different platforms.
Parents can access the videolibrary ad-free, and they can
access me for live teacher aswell as the video library ad
free, and they can access me forlive teacher, um, as well as
(45:47):
the video library.
And what I do is I introducethe necessary skills to get your
child preschool ready with, uh,the parent in mind.
So what I give them is anoutline of what they need to do,
and then the parent takes andtakes it and runs with it.
So I'm giving them, uh, okay,so we're going to work on a
(46:09):
letter, a color, a number isalways the same routine Um,
social emotional skill, a lifescience skill.
So I give them the outline ofwhat it's supposed to be and, um
, I introduce it.
I give them homework.
I don't play about my homework.
Speaker 1 (46:25):
So when.
Speaker 3 (46:25):
I see you the next time.
I need to see your color.
You need to be showing mesomething your color, what arts
and craft activity you did, whatletter.
You need to go around the housewith your child and find things
.
So I'll give them things to doto get their child to master
that skill.
Speaker 2 (46:40):
She makes them be involved.
Speaker 3 (46:41):
Yes, yeah, to master that.
She makes them be involved.
Yes, yeah, yeah.
Because you think oh, okay, youknow I'm a stay-at-home mom I
might work on online, so yourchild, yes, for 30 minutes, may
be watching me, but that's justthe intro.
You need to watch the video too, and then you need to go around
and do these things becausewhen they come back, I want them
to have that vocabulary todiscuss it.
So, yep, so I am a home, astay-at-home mom-dad tool to get
(47:08):
your child preschool I meankindergarten ready, right?
Do you have a website?
Yes, it'screativeconnectionspreschoolcom.
Okay, I like that because notConnections with an S.
Speaker 1 (47:18):
I like that, because not all kids actually can go to
preschool.
Well, they all can go, but notfor free.
Is what.
I'm saying Like parents arereally paying a high amount of
money for these kids to go topreschool and the only way that
you go to some of these programsif you have a delay or
something like that, and I thinkthat that is utterly ridiculous
.
It is.
Speaker 3 (47:39):
That's why I had mine .
Yeah, when you're three, if youdon't still have a delay, it
has to be a 25% delay.
Speaker 1 (47:47):
That is in.
Speaker 3 (47:47):
Delaware, you don't get services.
Speaker 1 (47:50):
You don't get services, yeah.
Speaker 3 (47:51):
So I said hey, miss Kip can go somewhere else.
Speaker 1 (47:54):
I like that.
Yeah, so it's called CreativeConnections Virtual Preschool
$45.50 a month.
Speaker 3 (48:02):
What?
Speaker 1 (48:02):
Ain't no way.
Speaker 3 (48:03):
This is the introductory 70% off, a no one
live class and access to thevideo library.
If you just want the library,1950 a month you can't yo and
see.
Speaker 1 (48:15):
Here's the thing, because a lot of times when we
want additional resources, wecan't afford them.
Yes, right, and it's like well,I'm out here trying to do
something strange, for somechange yeah.
I mean like full parents betrying to do what they can't do
for their kids.
Pam, don't look at me like that.
Speaker 3 (48:33):
That's what they be having no and, as it really
evolves, I'm gonna be reachingout to others because I like
this 50 is still a stretch.
45 a month is still a stretch.
There's other people who canhelp and support that.
Speaker 1 (48:49):
Yeah, but I like that because you're giving a
resource, because one of thethings that we hear from parents
is like lack of resources, andhere at Parents with a Purpose,
like our goal and our aim is tomake sure that we get the
resources in the hand of thepeople that need them, and I
think your program is phenomenal.
I think that that you know alot of times we don't really
(49:11):
think about the preschool age.
You know a lot of times we wedon't start until they get in
kindergarten.
It's like what?
By then it's late.
Okay, yes, we need to be doingit from birth, that way that you
know your child can get thebest.
And I like the fact that Iwanted to go back for a second.
I'm sorry.
When you were talking aboutemotional, you were, you even
tap into that yes because a lotof times when if a child hasn't
went to a traditional preschool,they don't know how to deal
(49:31):
with their emotions and thingslike that when they go into
kindergarten, a lot of theseteachers are dealing with more
emotional and behavioral issuesthan academic right.
So I like how you incorporate,like all the needs to make sure
that these kids have the toolsto be successful and
well-rounded and then againhelping the parent who you know
they're thinking abc.
Speaker 3 (49:50):
Okay, it's more than just abcs when it comes to being
school ready, because,especially if they're home now,
they're going to have to dealwith all the ins and outs and
you know the routines andeverything that comes along with
school and that's waiting.
Your turn is not all about youthat's saying please and thank
you all of those things that youneed, right as, as well as
(50:10):
getting used to, uh, what theworld has to offer, transition
yes, I like that because youintroduced the sciences.
Speaker 1 (50:16):
I had um.
I watched it.
I watched a lot of things, butI had it was an educator on
there and she was talking aboutum.
That we think sometimes thatwe're teaching our kids by just
singing them abcs and then.
But then you recognize thatoutside of that song they don't
know it and can't identify,can't identify, or if you say
(50:37):
one letter there, they may beable to go forward with the next
letter but not be able to gobackwards with the other letter.
And the same is with numbers.
So just teaching them a littledeeper than the surface, that
we've learned for years, youknow, and it's crazy because
they took all this time tofigure out that math.
The way we was taught math,like I said this, is it because
it's it and not being explained.
(50:57):
So now our kids is trying tolearn this math where you have
to explain it, and then theparents who we were told not to
explain JAG, and now we areconfused with this math.
Now it's so crazy how things gobackwards.
It's crazy Like when you weretrying to explain.
I don't know, you might notknow this, pam.
Speaker 2 (51:16):
Don't do laughs.
Speaker 1 (51:18):
Just don't do laughs Like when we were growing up,
kim, when we were trying to domath, and they're like no, you
have to do it this way or youhave to do it that way.
One answer right.
And now the kids can do 50answers.
And then we were wrong when wewere trying to do it 50
different ways.
And now these kids can do it 50ways.
And now, because they donestunt our growth, and now we
(51:40):
don't know what to do with thesekids.
They smarter than us these days?
No, you have to think of itthis way, right, I know.
And they walking around, well,I'm smarter than my mom.
No, your mom knew this back inthe day, but they stopped my
girl.
Speaker 3 (51:51):
Hey, I got through high school I pat my son on the
back because he was like Ithought.
He said to me I don't know howto do this and I looked at the
thing and it was like a numberand two letters and I said
what'd you say?
But he would say I'm doing thisnow.
I said, oh cool.
Speaker 1 (52:06):
I had to help you.
I had to help you.
Okay, man, we had fun.
Kim, our time is pretty much upand this has really been
exciting and really eye-openingbecause, you know, I think
everybody has their differentperspective right.
So I kind of like, even when Ibrought up the Dr Umar thing,
(52:27):
you came with your perspectiveof how you were processing it
and I came how I was processingit and we both were processing
differently, but we were stillkind of getting to the same goal
and I like that.
Again, here at Parented with aPurpose, we have uncomfortable
conversations.
Everything is on the table hereand not just my perspective, is
not the only perspective I wantyou guys to hear, and that's
why we bring experts in here andpeople who, just you know, live
(52:48):
the life, to have someexperience, not just by trade,
but actual life experience.
So we certainly appreciate youcoming to the show and breaking
it down and showing us parentshow we can connect with our kids
and how we have to be advocatesfor our kids.
Absolutely, and I reallyappreciate that.
What you got got, ma'am, didyou roll your eyes?
Speaker 3 (53:10):
she tell them about me being a great auntie she is.
Speaker 2 (53:13):
She is an excellent aunt, like I love her so much.
But one thing, one reason Idon't like her sometimes because
I wanted her to like teachVictoria, like the whole time,
and she said I can't just do her, but I'll get her on the
weekends and stuff.
But she's very excellent.
Anytime you have questions,you're just unsure of things,
she's reachable.
(53:34):
She'll meet you where you ask.
She doesn't make you feel like,oh, I'm being a bad parent.
It's like, oh, you were doingthis.
She's going to acknowledge whatyou are actually doing.
So, like we said here, parentsand purpose is not just about
giving you the tools or theresources, but showing you how
to utilize them, when to utilizethem.
(53:55):
And even if you're unsurethings, we are available for you
to connect with us.
We can set up zooms meets,whatever you want to do, um and
also Kim.
Like she said, set up zoomsmeets, whatever you want to do,
um and also kim.
Like she said, she's availablenot just by um, her program and
her business, but she'savailable for, however, and
whatever resources and help thatyou need to help your child be
(54:19):
the best that they can be.
They'll dig in on below thesurface to help bring them up
Because they have Somewhere togo.
Speaker 1 (54:27):
Alright, I like that and Kim Information will be On
our Parenting With a Purposepage.
So every guest that we have onhere, we will list their
Resources on our page so thatyou know how to connect with
them, because we're here To helpyou.
We thank you guys again Forjoining Parenting With a Purpose
.
I am your host, donna Janelle,and I am your co-host, pamela,
and this was Kim.
Okay, come okay, or miss Kim,miss Kim so we certainly thank
(54:50):
you for tuning in again PantherPurpose every Thursday live and
CMP radio net on YouTube,facebook.
You can follow us on PantherPurpose page on Facebook and
just stay connected and reachout to us, because we will.
If we don't know how to dosomething or we don't have the
resources, we will find thoseresources for y'all.
We work day in and day out totry to make sure that parents
(55:12):
get what they need to besuccessful.
So thank you guys again forjoining Parents with a Purpose.
You guys have a great night.
Have fun parenting.
Speaker 3 (55:20):
Thank you.
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