November 7, 2024 • 60 mins
Have you ever wondered how your involvement can truly shape your child's future? In this heartwarming episode of "Parenting with a Purpose," we promise to unravel the transformative power of parental engagement. Joining us is Kelley Bowers, a remarkable figure in early childhood education, who shares her inspiring journey from managing a home daycare to founding a thriving childcare center within her church. Kelly's 32 years of experience shine through as she discusses the crucial role parents play in laying down the foundation for their children to grow into future world leaders.
Our conversation takes you on a journey through the evolution of early childhood education, particularly focusing on Kelly's successful center in Wilmington, Delaware. Discover how her center expanded to include multiple classrooms and transportation services, ensuring children are both educationally and spiritually prepared for kindergarten. With the integration of the Abeka curriculum, Kelly emphasizes the blend of Christian values with academic learning, nurturing children's confidence as they step into the wider world. We also tackle parenting challenges, sharing personal stories and insights that bring out the joys and responsibilities of this noble role.
Nutrition, literacy, and fostering independence take center stage as we explore critical aspects of parenting. From the decision to ban unhealthy "oodles and noodles" to teaching phonics and alphabet skills, we focus on holistic child development. Kelly's success in expanding her childcare center is a testament to her dedication to nurturing young minds. As we wrap up, we invite our listeners to join our community of shared experiences, encouraging everyone to bring responsibility and beauty back into the art of parenting. Listen in every Thursday at 7 pm and let's continue this incredible journey together.
Parents are the Bows and Children are the Arrows they will land wherever we aim them eventually!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
cmpradionet the voice of Chester.
Thank you, hey everybody.
(01:25):
Welcome to Patterns with aPurpose.
I am your host, Donna Janelle.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
And I am your co-host , pamela and this evening we
have our special guest, kellyBowers, a business owner, a
God-fearing woman, and she isalso a lovely wife and an
awesome mother.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
And a grandmother.
Don't forget that Kelly's agrandma.
So, tonight's show.
You know we are striving.
Our mission here is to bringback the responsibility,
nobility and beauty back intoparenting.
Right, we know that parents arebows and our children are
arrows, and they will landwherever we aim them, as long as
we give them the tools right,as long as we're putting them in
(02:04):
the right direction.
As long as we give them thetools right, as long as we're
putting them in the rightdirection, as long as we're
clothing them right and thatallowing the world to close them
.
So, as we talk about that, ourinvolvement, parental
involvement how important it isthat there's such a mandate on
parenting.
Now, I don't know if you guyssee what's going on in the world
and the communities around usthat parenting is the answer to
some of these problems.
Right, it is the solution.
(02:25):
So our goal here at Parentingwith the Prairie is we want
parents to be involved in everyarea of your child's life,
whether your child is still inthe womb or all the way up to
adulthood.
Parenting never stops, right,it changes and evolves over time
, but it never stops.
So our job here is to make surethat parents are equipped with
the tools so that they can makesure parenting is successful as
possible, right, and, with thatbeing said, that there is a lot
(02:47):
that we as parents have to do,like the onus is on us, right,
we are responsible.
When we said responsibility,nobility and beauty, parenting
is beautiful, but yet it's hardand it has some challenges,
right, and we are all parentshere, so we know that there are
some challenges, so I don'tthink that we're coming to you
from what we just read in atextbook or what we read on the
screen.
Listen, parenting out here is ahard, not life for us, right?
(03:11):
I got four, pam got one, kellygot seven, psych not I got three
of my own, and Kelly got fourherself and hers are all adults,
right?
So we got parenting from everystage here at the table.
So we hope that we're going tobe able to enlighten you guys
with some uh, wisdom and somethings that we've gone through
(03:33):
and things that are reallyimportant.
You know, this topic that we'vebeen talking about, um, since
season three started, is reallyabout parental involvement.
You know we have started witheducation and we're still riding
out with this education thing,because we know that knowledge
is power and we know that if weequip our children and our
parents with knowledge that theythat will take them, they'll
become unstoppable and that willsolve a lot of the world crisis
(03:56):
today.
So thank you for coming to theshow, kelly.
Kale, kelly Bowers.
So, as Pam said, kelly is a sheowns a child care center.
She's in early education.
She's owned child care center.
She's gonna let us know alittle bit how long she's been
doing this, but she isresponsible for building the
(04:20):
foundation for some of ourchildren in the world so that
they become world changers.
Kelly, tell us you've been onthe show before.
Welcome back to the show, kelly, building a foundation for some
of our children in the world sothat they become world changers
.
Kelly, tell us you've been onthe show before.
Welcome back to the show, kelly.
Can you tell, can you remindthe audience and us of how long
you've been in early childhood?
Speaker 2 (04:36):
I have been in early childhood for 32 years.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Ooh, 32 years.
Let me count, so I am 44, 32.
Oh wow, yeah, yes, what's this?
I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Don't be quiet.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
That's what she does to me.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
No, but I wasn't hearing it, Pam.
Pam wasn't even born yet.
Pam, you couldn't do the math.
I know I'm specific.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
But so 32 years, wow, wow.
Tell us a little bit of how youI know you had, you were in
your, you had your own homedaycare, child care center and
then you went into this, thisnew adventure, and you've had a
couple of years now, into anactual center where there's a
lot more children, there'sdifferent ages and a lot more
(05:28):
requirements andresponsibilities absolutely so
how was that, how did thetransition come about and how
was that transition from thehome to now having a physical
center?
Speaker 2 (05:42):
well, the transition really started with my licensed
specialist when she had firstgave me the idea of thinking
about taking and putting mycenter into my church center
(06:03):
into my church, and I was like,okay, you know, that was a great
idea.
And then I of course pitched itto Bishop and when he had came
into my home center he had firstsaid well, how long you want to
have it here?
Speaker 1 (06:19):
And that was like that's good, but how long.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
So when the time came and I had to abruptly shut down
my home center due to theviolence in the area I was
living, I just had to shut itdown because I was responsible
for other children's lives, youknow, and I didn't want that
(06:44):
responsibility, you know, beingconcerned with bullets coming
through my home and everything.
So I immediately shut my homecenter down.
So it was shut down for a wholeyear, but within that year it
was a transitioning year becausethen I began the process of
transforming over to the centerwhich is located in Christian
(07:06):
Growth Ministries, and so 850North Church Street, to be exact
.
Yes, wilmington, delaware, 19801.
And now I have four classroomsyes, four classrooms, wow,
operating.
And we do have transportationnow.
(07:27):
So we have before and aftercare.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
Evolving yes.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
Evolving, so it is growing.
You know, of course you haveyour struggles here and there.
You know growing pains, I callthem Right.
But I am very thankful becauseI have a great support system.
You know, number one, a prayerpartner, and even you, pammy,
(07:55):
you know you have called andsaid I need prayer.
You know I was just thinkingabout you.
You know so prayer is thenumber one key.
Okay, that really got me.
You know so prayer is thenumber one key.
Okay, that really got me, youknow, motivated and encouraged
(08:17):
to make that transition.
And once I made the decision todo it, really everything because
it was God's will everythingjust started falling in place.
You know I had the help of mylicensed specialist at that time
.
You know they were very excitedfor me, you know so, when she
came in and looked at theclassrooms, not only did she,
you know child care businessowners that have larger centers
(08:38):
than mine, that were veryhelpful, very helpful, and still
are, as I call them, you knowthey respond to me very quickly.
(09:01):
So the transition it was hardin the beginning because the way
I had to shut down, but thenwhen I started moving in faith,
it became easy.
Everything just started fallingin place and I didn't really
have to do a lot of advertisingbut really word of mouth, and
(09:25):
then what I did start doing andputting out there.
I did receive clientele andthen we started having
graduating classes yes which isbeautiful when you do your
graduation.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
I attended the last one.
I thought that was just amazing.
It was up on stage, it's socute, it was so cute and they
are so excited.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
They come dressed and ready.
They tell their whole familyit's so adorable.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Now Kel Kelly.
Sorry, I said Kel because ofwhat I called you.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
Now Kel.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
I have a question what makes you really want to do
early childhood education, like, what's the drive there?
Because there are so manypeople you know they could start
off in early childhoodeducation and as they continue
to build their curriculum andthen go into their higher
education, they tend to go intolike school centers and things
like that.
(10:16):
Versus you know owning your ownchild care center, being a CEO
and director and was a teacher.
You stepped out of the teacherrole.
Now Are you still a teacher?
Speaker 2 (10:25):
you stepped out of the teacher role now, or you're
still a teacher?
I know you were.
No, I'm not um in the classroomnow.
Right, so you know I'm moreadministrative yeah, but finally
, but that's a blessing, yes butI do still go in and help
amanda with the preschool areabecause of the fact that you,
you know, I have severalchildren that would be
(10:46):
graduating this year, so I wantto make sure that they have
everything they need to have togo to kindergarten, you know, to
make sure nothing is, you know,lacking in any kind of way.
So I still assist her becauseshe still had those age groups
from three to five.
Okay, so those, you know, thosefour-year-olds, I have to make
(11:06):
sure that they write.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
Yeah, they write so ready.
Let's touch on that, becauseyou said I have to make sure.
So it's like you know thatthat's your duty, that's
something that you have taken on.
You don't really hear that toomuch.
So I know that you take itpersonal and that you genuinely
care number one.
However, what does that looklike?
(11:28):
Making sure to prepare, likewhat are some of the foundations
that you're like, okay, you'regoing to be good when you go to
kindergarten.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
Okay, number one is the curriculum that I chose.
Okay, I have been familiar inusing the curriculum a BECA
curriculum for over from thetime that I.
How many years is that?
Speaker 1 (11:55):
You got to go back to know that.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Yes, because what happened in the midst of me
doing my daycare?
I had closed my center, wentand worked in another school
setting for eight years, wow.
And in that time frame I wasintroduced to a Becca.
However, I was doing a Becca inmy home, not knowing about a
(12:19):
Becca.
So when I went to visit and wastrained down in Pensacola,
florida, only thing I did downthere was cry, because I knew
then I was being led by the HolySpirit.
So I was receiving and I wasjust buying as much material as
(12:39):
I could, but the actual traininghow to work it the Holy Spirit
had already taught me how towork it and I was doing the
Rebecca program in my homewithout the material.
I was creating the lessonsmyself, I was doing the drawing,
everything.
So when I went and say, wow, Idon't have to do this anymore,
(12:59):
they actually have books outthere.
Yes, so, yes.
So I taught that program foreight years outside of my home
and then the school shut downand then I came back.
But then when I came back Isaid, okay, Lord, do I want to
go into being a nursery programagain with the infants and the
(13:24):
you know, the babies, or how do?
How do you want me to do it?
I had to pray and ask thatquestion and then that's how I
came up with a preschool with apurpose.
That was the newness of mybusiness, Right Meaning that my
um found date the foundation.
My calling is to lay thefoundation of Christ in the
(13:46):
hearts of the babies that whenthey get older, that they will
go forth and change nations.
So I know why God has called meto do the preschool because
it's to give them that love, tohelp them to know who they are,
you know, to teach them aboutChrist, because of the fact that
(14:07):
when they go out there into thesecular schools, they won't
need anyone to tell them whothey are, Right, Right, so they
will be sound, they will have asolid foundation educationally
and they will have a solidfoundation spiritually that's
good.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
That's good because that was the question I would
made.
You really do preschool andthat makes sense now because you
need to lay that foundation,because now at the preschool age
, they're talking, they'rewalking and they're sponges.
You know, as the nursery age,their babies, you're more, just,
you're that care for them, butjust in a different way.
Um, so I think that that'sawesome.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
Yes, so when they're in the infancy, one, twos,
they're in regular clothes, butwhen they no I'm sorry the
one-year-olds, but at thetwo-year-old is when they
actually have their curriculum,really start kicking in with
different learning and they havetheir books.
(15:06):
So that's when I have them toget in the school setting
mindset.
So they wear the uniform.
That's the purpose of whythey're in a uniform, so I'm
preparing them for school.
There's no time to baby them.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
Right, she said the baby's age is over.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Yes, because of the fact, and it's easy to do, you
know, because they're so lovable, you know they still need, you
know all that extra care.
But we have to learn how to doit tenderly, but with the
mindset of knowing they're goingsomewhere Right, but with the
mindset of knowing they're goingsomewhere right and we have to
make sure that they are wellprepared for where they are
(15:49):
going.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
Wow, that's good, kel , because I think sometimes even
as parents, right, we want tobe all lovey-dovey on our kids
and like hug them, like, likethey build the bears or
something all spongy and stufflike that and really sometimes
that takes away of our role forthem and our job and our goal
and a purpose for us to reallylead them to their next steps.
That sometimes it hinders them.
(16:11):
So I like that because you'reright, like in a, in a in a
regular daycare, like there'sjust different care for the kids
, but once they start to growand we're, what are we setting
them up for?
How are we preparing them upfor?
How are we preparing?
I like the uniform idea becauseI don't know back in my day
it's structured, oh yes itpresents.
Um, there was a thing calleddress for success.
(16:32):
So I feel like that's whatuniforms kind of get you, and
even if it's not a regularuniform, but even if you're just
dressed in like a suit and tieand things like that, it really
prepares the children for amindset that we were going for a
purpose and that I'm dressingfor the success that I'm looking
to get.
So I love the uniform idea,even at such a young age as two
years old, I think that?
Speaker 2 (16:53):
that's just amazing.
Yes.
Speaker 3 (16:55):
Helping with routine.
So, even if it's not a strongroutine at home, they know, oh,
when I'm coming to KingdomBuilders.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
I know I wear this five times.
I may not know how many days isin a week, but I know.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
I'm wearing this five times and it's already setting
a foundation of structure rightthere.
So you said educationally andspiritually, but you're also
equipping them with other toolsthat, even if they're not
getting it at home, them comingto Kingdom Builders, it's being
integrity, showing up as theirbest selves.
(17:32):
Because I'm sure if you seesomebody's uniform you know we
look the same.
But you got your stain on yours.
You're like, oh man, I got tobe a little neater.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
Right, look at there, I do address that, I do address
that.
Because I do address that, I doaddress that.
And to the point of if thechild has not really succeeded
in that area yet, you know,because at home their eating
habit may be different, right,they may be still running around
or using their hands.
(18:01):
But we at the school, we givethem their tools.
And we encourage them to usethem and we're sitting there
with them and we great job, youknow.
But if we see someone that isstill struggling with their fine
motor skills, I'll remove theshirt.
Okay, I will.
I will remove the shirt Because, you know, once they get all
(18:25):
cleaned up, you know, get theirface and their hands everything
you know.
I put their clothes back on andthey still be neat.
They won't be walking aroundwith stains and everything in
their shirt.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
That's really good.
You know, my kids go to themilitary academy and one of the
things that they do is they do auniform inspection, like my kid
, like I've never knew of thisbefore because I've been running
my daughter, my oldest daughter.
She went to private school, butI don't recall them doing
inspections for like uniforms.
You know, I've always presentedin such a way where she's
really neat.
However, but with them going tothe military county, it really
(19:00):
opened my eyes on.
You know, I'm big onpresentation anyway, but but it
took it up another notch withthe kids because they knew
inspection was coming, so theiruniforms had to be neat, they
had to no stains, none of thatstuff.
So I think that's really good.
Teach them at a young age ofpresentation, like how to
present well your best selfforward.
Speaker 3 (19:20):
And to care for your thing.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
Yes, and also how you present your classwork.
It represents you, so if youare made to look well, your
paper should look just like you.
Wow, mm-hmm.
So that means okay, I don'twant people to think I'm being a
(19:45):
tyrant.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
OK.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
So, but you do have to train the children how to
hold the pencil, how to colorRight.
No, they're not going to startout right away.
No, they're not.
That's all a part of thetraining and their development.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
Right, right.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
Right, development, right, right, right.
So as they start developing,and you can, their
communicational skills and morefine motor skills and everything
, but as they're doing it, youstill making um, giving them
compliments, right, you aredoing such a better job today,
staying in your lines and youknow writing your name, oh my
(20:24):
good, the letters could beeverywhere, they could be
backwards, they could be, butthey wrote them Okay, or they
tried.
So you want to compliment that.
You know you want to build themup with positivity.
You know that they willcontinue to improve and they
(20:45):
will take it home.
Mom, dad, look what I did.
They're proud, you know, andthat's good because you're
building up their self-esteem.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
I'm glad you just said that In your expert opinion
.
How important is it to haveparental involvement Very
important and what have parentalinvolvement Very important and
what does parental involvementlook like?
Speaker 2 (21:10):
Well, for me, parental involvement means
number one.
The parent is involved inpreparing their breakfast,
involved in preparing theirlunch?
Okay, no, seriously, because Ihave in the small center just
for a moment.
We don't have the ability toprepare our lunch.
(21:33):
Okay, so I made the decisionwith parent involvement.
Hey guys, would this be toomuch for you to bring the
children's luncheon?
Speaker 1 (21:44):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
They have agreed.
But also the children love itbecause it becomes a
conversational piece at thetable and I love that because
they're communicating with oneanother.
Speaker 3 (21:58):
Do they keep trying?
Speaker 2 (22:00):
to trade no.
Oh, that's good no they do not,they do not try to trade.
Speaker 3 (22:05):
That's good.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
They are very thankful with their mom or their
dad has prepared for them, andthey will let you know if dad
prepared their lunch.
They will say that that isbeautiful.
So no, they have not.
You know, they're very proudabout what's in their lunchbox,
and they'll also let you know ifit's something new.
(22:29):
You know one child today he hadAmanda and I in tears.
He tried it, he really did.
He chewed it up.
He said ooh, ooh, and spit itout.
And said ooh, ooh, ooh, it spitit out.
It said we were hot, but it wasso cute, you know, because he
(22:56):
um, when we tell the children,that's your mom's love, so you
have to eat your mom's love.
This is what she gave to you,so try it, you know.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
And he like what kind of love is this Cause you
telling me this?
My mom love, wait a minute.
Flag on the plate flag on theplate.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
He ate the rest of the lunch.
But it was funny, it really was.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
But, yes, how they take involvement in, like I said
, their lunch Excuse me theirpresentation with their uniform,
their communication with us.
Ok, you know, and you knowbecause it's important as we
have the children about 10 hoursa day.
(23:44):
You need to let us know if younotice something that the child
may not be feeling well that day, you know, or you think they're
getting a little cold orsomething like that, and give us
instructions on what you wantus to do.
So but it's also important thatwhen the child brings home the
(24:04):
classwork, that part that'svital.
Why?
Why?
Because how you take a look attheir work as a parent.
If you say, great job, johnny,you did it.
Oh my goodness, you make a bigdeal out of it and hang it up.
That gives them.
(24:26):
When they come back in theirperformance the next day, they
just ready to do something.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
I'm going to make a line today.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
That's right, Because they just they want to make
their parents proud.
Right, okay, you know but ifyou just don't even take it home
out of the cubby, that says alot.
Speaker 3 (24:47):
Especially the, you know, the three-year-olds
four-year-olds, that startsplanting little stuff inside of
them, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
And they don't want to learn.
So when we say, okay, let's docircle time, let's play a game
with our numbers or our letters,they uh, uh-uh.
It's not important to thembecause it's not important to
the parent.
Wow.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
So, wow.
So what I'm hearing you say isthat parental involvement is
vital, and one of the ways thatparents can get involved is
getting involved in theireducation.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
Absolutely.
We went to visit a schoolBishop and I and we were talking
to I believe she was the viceprincipal and she said the worst
thing ever is when they have tomake a decision on a child's
life based upon 504s, ieps andFIs, and the parent didn't take
(25:51):
the time to come and sit andmeet with them to find out
what's going on with their child.
Now in the school, the statehas to make a decision on your
child's future without you.
Wow, that stuck with me, yeah,like, oh, my God, right, yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
Parental involvement is so important because, because
you know, as we say here and wesay all the time, parents are
your first teachers, your firstcheerleaders, your first
advocates, your first lovers.
Like, parents are the first ofeverything.
And if what you don't get athome and you expect someone else
to give to your child, I thinkthat's utterly ridiculous.
Like you gotta get give it tothem so that they can understand
(26:33):
and accept it from others.
Um, I think you and I had thisconversation previously, kel,
about um, when we talk about thewhole yelling at kids and stuff
like that, right, yeah, about,like, if a parent is yelling at
their kid, now we talk aboutparental involvement.
I ain't talking about bescreaming at your kids, um, but
if a parent is constantlyyelling at their kids, when they
get into another setting, thatadult now has to yell at those
(26:55):
kids because that's all theyhear.
You know, like, if youconstantly screaming, like
because they're not going tohear the soft, gentle voice or
the level voice, because theirears are not attuned to that,
because they're so used tohearing somebody yell at them,
and then that becomes a problemwithin a classroom because, say
that you're a teacher who don'tyell at kids, well, this kid is
never going to do what you askthem to do because you ain't
(27:16):
gonna be yelling at them, right?
So, really, training parents sothat we're not screaming at our
kids, that we're talking withthem, not at them, right?
Um, so that they're better offbe able to receive the education
they need to receive, from thatstandpoint, yes.
We talk about that a lot becausewe see a lot of that.
Speaker 3 (27:36):
That's called something Like when you use that
same tone all the time, becausethen when you do have to get
stern with them, it's like, well, you talk like this all the
time.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
Yeah, like you mad today.
I didn't even know you was mad,because you like this all day.
Speaker 3 (27:54):
It's an emergency.
Are you sure you get what I'msaying, like, should I really be
doing this or should I be doingthat?
Because this is what alwayshappens here.
And it's like, wow, we reallygot to sit back and evaluate
ourselves, like, what are wereally doing?
Speaker 1 (28:08):
You know what that happens.
How effective are we yeah, howeffective?
Speaker 2 (28:14):
Yes, because we have to make sure that we are getting
our point across to ourchildren, because you have to
think about it In the age thatthey're growing up in, compared
to Compared to your age.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
Kelly.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
Compared to your age, kelly all right compared to
your time okay um, I'm closer tothat than she is um, our
children today have a lot ofdistractions, uh-huh yeah, a
whole lot of distractions, soit's hard to get their attention
.
So us, as parents, really,really, really need to know how
(28:59):
can we get our children'sattention.
Speaker 3 (29:01):
Yeah, they are listening because they're
exposed to so much, so much inthis time frame.
Like I remember my grandma usedto be like oh, these kids, as
fast they busy.
I was like no, y'all used totreat us like we was a little
slow and we probably was exposedto certain things.
It was holding us back Liketheir minds go like a thousand.
(29:24):
Sometimes I sit there and watchVictoria and I'm like what are
you thinking?
And she'll get like so tickledpink like mom, how do you know?
And I'm like I can tell you docertain things.
It's either she wants to do anaction, whether she wants to
write or read, and thensometimes she's about to draw
and it's like I don't even wantto do this anymore.
It's something else I got to godo and I'm just like so damn.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
Always moving, always moving.
Speaker 3 (29:47):
So so damn.
Today she was doing herhomework before we came and she
was like I said what's going on?
She was like I got to take mymoment mama and I was like, all
right, it's over 17.
I said you messed me up.
She said you told me about mybreathing.
You told me about my breathing.
She said mom.
She said I didn't want to sitin and she did her shoulders and
(30:12):
everything.
And I sitting there like, oh mygosh, you're using what I'm
teaching you and I love it and Iwas just like she's like I'm
serious, mom.
I was like I understand, I'msorry, but it's so funny to
watch them do it like a littlewoof style.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
Yeah, and it's so funny because back in the day if
a child did all that extrabreathing and stuff, a parent
would think that the child wasbeing smart and get smart and
they get knocked out of theirchair.
Speaker 2 (30:35):
I'm trying to tell y'all.
I'm seeing it and it happenedto me, Like when we suck in
their teeth.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
Yeah, suck in their teeth.
Oh, you taking a deep breath.
I'm just breathing.
What's the problem?
Like I didn't know I wasn'tallowed to breathe today.
I didn't know I wasn't supposedto swallow my saliva, that you
didn't hear me.
Like I don't know, but it'sreally different in this day and
age Of really giving ourchildren that space and teaching
them how to self soothe.
That's what it is, because as ababy, when our kids self soothe
(31:04):
, a lot of parents were, but notreally.
Our kids have to grow up butthey're not going to be with us
at all times and we need toequip them with the tools to be
able to manage her doing that.
It's probably funny as hecklooking at it.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
I probably would have fell on the floor.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
But really giving them that time even at such a
young age, and I think sometimeswe devalue our children at the
age that they are thinking thatthey don't need all that.
But apparently she couldn't sitdown and she needed it.
So even Carol, when you look atyour kids and you sit there, I
need to come in Maternity, tocome in and do a moose eye day
with them.
Babies, carol.
Speaker 3 (31:38):
I see one of your old kids they say she from Kingdom
Builders and the parent lookingat me like I said I want to
visit, I want to visit.
I didn't teach them.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
Yeah, I think that is so important to really teach
them how to be independent.
So you know, one of the thingsabout parenting is that we want
to do so much for our children.
Like parents, you want the bestfor them and a lot of times
that there's such a line whereyou're doing too much, not
enough or just right Right, andit's hard to tell.
But ideally we really want toteach our children how to be
(32:15):
independent as early as possible, and I think some parents me in
the beginning was babying somuch, oh, you know, and my
sister had a two year old.
Speaker 3 (32:21):
Yeah, my sister yeah Like oh, I was not like that.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
Y'all probably thought something was wrong with
me.
You're a different generation,so you realize.
Speaker 3 (32:30):
I literally did not like my mom would come over
sometimes and I'd pick that babyup and I'd be like no, she's
going to be okay.
Like something happens to metoday or tomorrow, my child's
going to be okay.
She's like Pam, she's only onemonth.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
Wait a minute.
Speaker 3 (32:45):
Look at her right now .
Look at Victoria right now.
But Pam, pam, she ain't got nochoice to be with you, I'm
telling you I am because I wasdetermined from when she was in
my womb the way I would talk toher, teaching her about family,
just character confidenceeverything.
Even if I was going throughsomething, I'd be like mommy's,
(33:06):
not having a good day today, butI don't want that to affect you
.
Literally having realconversations, because when I
didn't, and I would be upset,she would like cringe in my
stomach so bad, it would be likeso painful, like oh my gosh,
can you please move?
And I literally would sit thereand talk to her, we would pray,
and then it would be likerelease.
(33:28):
It's still like that, still tothis day, because that was my
biggest thing I want her to beindependent.
Speaker 1 (33:34):
Yeah, it really is Like we're supposed to nurture
them and grow, but alsounderstanding that they won't be
babies forever and that theyreally need a sense of
independency so that they cangrow and mature themselves.
Growth and development If youlook at the stage of growth and
development, there is a lot ofindependency in those growth
stages.
We, just as parents, sometimeswant to just, oh, my baby.
(33:54):
I've been telling my sisterwith my, uh, baby girl she 18
months I'd be like, hey, bro,let her do that.
I remember and she's gonna giveme.
But I remember a story when shewas trying to give her different
foods.
And you know, I'm a pediatricnurse and I've been doing this,
you know, for a long time andI've been doing this, you know,
for a long time and I've beenparenting for over 25 years.
So I'm like why is she stilleating it?
(34:15):
Like, and why are you feedingher?
Like what is going on?
And I was like you, really,she's, but she's going to get
messy.
It's okay, that's part of that.
And I used to be like I used togive her different foods and my
sister's like I didn't evenknow.
So sometimes, even as parents,we want to just continue to baby
them, but they that's not whatthey need.
(34:36):
We parents got to give them,our children, what they need,
not what we want them to haveright because we're preparing
them to go somewhere yes, yeah,yeah, absolutely yes absolutely.
Speaker 2 (34:47):
You know, that's one thing that I keep in the
forefront of my teacher's mind.
You know, especially mywonderful Kalia.
She's a cuddler.
Hey, kalia, that baby, they'vebeen hugged all morning long by
you.
Okay, kalia is a hugger becauseat your graduation, kel, at
(35:09):
that graduation.
Speaker 1 (35:11):
All them little babies did not want their
parents.
They was running up on stagefor Khalia.
Speaker 2 (35:15):
I was weak.
Speaker 1 (35:16):
She couldn't even finish their program with the
other kids because those babieswas really having a fit to try
to get to her.
I thought I was like, wow, theyare so attached to her.
Speaker 3 (35:25):
She's a couple and they can't say her name.
What do they call her?
It's so cute.
Speaker 2 (35:27):
Some say Lili, um, they, but some say Lily, and
some I don't know.
Speaker 3 (35:33):
They call her this one name and I was like who is
that?
Speaker 1 (35:37):
Who is that Like Kalia, and I'm like, oh yeah,
but you, it's good to have aperson who's at a child
especially when you go tocenters right To be able to love
your child as much as as as youdo, um, it's very important but
also, like you said, remindingyour teachers that they have
somewhere to go, somewhere.
(35:57):
So, because I saw that I waslaughing, my behind them, kids
was running up on the stage,they moms was like come back
over here, and I was like, oh,it's a struggle between the
teacher and the mom today.
I was weak.
I was over there weak because Iwas like yo, he don't even want
his mom, though, like yo, hewant that teacher.
But that's so important toremind teachers that they have
(36:19):
somewhere to go.
Speaker 2 (36:20):
And I like that.
Speaker 1 (36:21):
One of the other things, Kel, that I want to talk
about tonight is nutrition.
Speaker 2 (36:27):
Yes, we talked a lot about that.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
Yeah, yes, nutrition a lot about that.
Yeah, yes, nutrition what?
What we see in the lunches,what we see um in the breakfast,
or even the snacks that some ofthese parents bring in for
their kids.
A lot of it, um, sometimes it'sjust quick stuff, like we want
our kids to have something quick.
But you and I had thisconversation and pam, I think we
talked about this on the showbefore about um certain things
(36:51):
that we have in our children'ssnack that really kind of alter
the brain right, um, thechemicals and things and um and
also the hazard in them, notjust the chemical base but even
just a choking hazard and thingslike that.
Let's touch base on that alittle bit, because you are
early childhood education, soyou dealing with children when
they come from bottles to umfinger foods, to using utensils
(37:16):
and really having to learn howto navigate, chewing and
swallowing, so let's talk alittle bit about that.
Speaker 2 (37:24):
Okay.
So when you and I were talkingabout that, my first concern was
the oodles and noodles.
Let's deal with that.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
Oodles and noodles.
Are you familiar?
You know what oodles andnoodles are?
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
You giggle no.
Speaker 3 (37:46):
She giggle, but the oodles and noodles.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
I had to ban them because of the fact yes, because
, number one it became a chokinghazard.
You know, we found that out.
And then all the salt it is.
There's a lot of salt in thosethings, you know, we don't want
(38:14):
to keep giving our babies abunch of salt and we're
wondering why they haveheadaches and they're getting
sick and and everything likethat.
You know, um, some children usedto have uddles and noodles
every day.
Yes, and it's not good and it'snot a healthy meal, you know.
So, um, we sent out donnahelped us to put a letter
(38:34):
together and we sent out thefood pyramid to yes, to the
parents to give them an idea ofthe different type of foods that
need to be given duringbreakfast, lunch.
And we take care of the snacks.
So we know that their snacksare healthy, because that's what
we have to do per the state.
(38:56):
So they have to have wholegrain milk water.
They cannot have juice all thetime, but if they do have a
juice, it has to be 100% fruitjuice.
Yeah, yes, so that's what wemake sure that we serve now,
(39:17):
when we do our am snack.
It's usually like a whole grainwaffle or it could be pancakes,
but it has.
They have to have fruit withthat meal also, and milk or
fruit juice.
Speaker 3 (39:34):
You know um it could you have to do a grain and a
fruit for the am snack but forpm snack?
Speaker 1 (39:42):
same thing oh wow, yeah, it makes sense because you
know you're supposed to getfour fruits, vegetables per day
and you can get, and then againwe're building a foundation
right yes so even teaching them,because some parents really
just don't know, they kind ofjust give them what they have
left over or something like that.
They really don't know, or theeasiest thing and not really
understanding nutritional valueof food right.
(40:05):
So starting them off early, sonot even just teaching the
parents, but teaching thechildren right of what they
should eat and what fruit lookslike and what's vegetables.
You know, when we talked aboutthat whole oodles and noodles
thing, it was just in thevegetable also in the vegetable
yeah, they need to get familiarsnacks it could be either or
so like celery is a vegetablebroccoli well, you know those
(40:27):
things, but it's so important,like when we, when you had
mentioned that oodles andnoodles like, and I just like,
yeah, well, it's sodium, butit's a choking hazard too.
Like what is it the oodles andnoodles like?
How?
And parents really don't knowmy daughter, she loves ramen,
but what she does, she makes herown.
Now, um, because she doesn'tuse any of the seasons in there,
she just like to, actually theway the noodles are.
(40:49):
So don't want to test my game,so y'all know.
She makes her own ramen, thoughshe uses the noodles, but then
she puts her own broccoli inthere and she does all this
stuff.
It was so gourmet.
It was so gourmet.
One day I was like this isgourmet, because I was like you
didn't put a swing on oozingnoodles.
We didn't do this back in theday.
But at first I had banned itfrom her because I thought that
(41:13):
all she wanted was these noodlesand I thought about the sodium
intake and things like that.
But when I found out that shewasn't even using those packets
like she really just liked thenoodle portion of it.
Speaker 3 (41:24):
Oh, for the babies.
They was putting the packets inthere.
Oh yeah, oh, oh yes.
Speaker 1 (41:33):
That's a flag on the plate.
Flag on the plate like and halfof them trying to learn look,
they're trying to learn how toswallow, and all that and they
got noodles all curled up thesalt.
Yeah, oh my yeah um, but it'sso important, even in your, in
your line of work, is to educatethe families on nutrition.
Speaker 3 (41:54):
So do you sit?
Speaker 1 (41:55):
Oh, I'm sorry, no, because it's just not academia,
it's holistically.
Speaker 3 (42:00):
Yes, absolutely Go ahead, shori.
I was going to say, when youhelped make the letter, did you
give full ideas?
Speaker 1 (42:10):
I think I put a couple examples on there.
Yeah, I did put examples onthere.
Speaker 2 (42:14):
How to replace it.
Speaker 1 (42:15):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (42:16):
I did.
Speaker 1 (42:16):
Because I'm a strong leader.
If you're going to tellsomebody to take something away,
you better tell them what toadd in, Because they're going to
add to anything else Somethingworse than what you told them to
take away.
I know right.
Speaker 3 (42:27):
You might just have all chips, yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:31):
She'd be having it yeah.
Speaker 3 (42:35):
So I want to like slide back to you being at the
house.
Did you have teachers?
Speaker 2 (42:45):
there with you, or was it just you?
Well, I did have teachers withme, but they were younger, they
were growing up in the field andyou know they probably stray
from it now because they areadults.
But I always had, especially inthe summertime.
If one of the children that waswith me when they were younger
(43:08):
and now they're a teenager andthey want a job, I let them come
work for me.
Speaker 3 (43:13):
I still do that.
Oh, that is awesome, I still dothat.
Speaker 2 (43:16):
Yeah, Like this year, I had Rain Chapman with me With
me, I had Jaya Lorraine with me.
Speaker 3 (43:26):
It was and they love the little people.
Yes, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (43:30):
They have a heart for them, so that's awesome.
Speaker 3 (43:32):
They love the little people.
Yes, absolutely.
They have a heart for them.
So that's awesome, even the waythat you give back and give an
opportunity to see is this aroute that you want to go?
Yes, absolutely, when you startcareer-wise and things of that
nature.
Speaker 2 (43:45):
Yes, so during the summertime I do bring in
teenagers that would like towork with the children, have a
summer job and they have aworkload.
I let them know what they haveto do so they cannot just be
sitting around.
No, you cannot be on your phone.
Your eyes are at work.
(44:07):
You have to watch the children.
Speaker 3 (44:09):
Because they're busy.
Yes, read books, play games,arts and crafts, keeping them
active so for communication, Iknow you, um, we're seeing you
know, uh, showing up for thechildren in different ways, but
how do you communicate with theteachers, you and your staff?
(44:30):
Do you guys use like an app,emails in person letters?
Speaker 2 (44:35):
with the parents or with the teachers with the
parents like.
Speaker 3 (44:38):
So how do you and the staff communicate with the
parents?
Speaker 2 (44:43):
um anyway, different ways.
Um number one on face-to-facecommunication.
All right, um is the number onewhen they first come in and I
do allow my teachers to havebasically the freedom to
communicate with the parents.
Now, if the parents askbasically like an administrative
(45:03):
question, then send them to me.
Okay, you know, but if it'ssomething pertaining to the, you
know their child, they seentheir child?
Do you know something that they?
Um observed?
you know, um, yes, write it downand share with the parent you
know.
And then you come and we'll putit in their folder once you get
(45:25):
your response right.
So I do give my, my um teachers, that freedom to communicate
with the parents, but also makeme aware.
So they're trying to loop.
So, yes, so face-to-facecommunication.
Naya sends out emails.
(45:49):
Okay, or a sickness that isspreading around, something that
is very, very important, thatthe parents need to know
immediately.
Now you will send out an email,we'll text, we'll phone call,
whatever way we have to do, wedon't get their attention.
(46:10):
One way, we'll keep it going.
Speaker 3 (46:14):
And so do you feel as though you've made the
environment suitable for parentsto have that open line of
communication with you and thestaff absolutely awesome, a
little bit too much sometimes,because sometimes I wonder if
parents, like, don't communicatebecause they don't feel as
though they have thatenvironment.
Speaker 2 (46:33):
Right right.
Speaker 3 (46:34):
Or you know, like it's made available to them.
Like I had to tell mydaughter's teacher this year
like I don't know, I guess I wasso used to her teachers in the
past, like you know, justcommunicating certain things and
I don't get to physically seeher how I used to with Victoria
being in early education center,so the communication was
(46:56):
different.
So I told her like I'm thatparent that wants to know, like
everything.
If it doesn't cost you too much.
You know, could you, could youdo this?
And she was like, oh my gosh,she used to get shot down.
So that's why she fell back.
She didn't get responses, sothat's why she fell back.
She didn't get responses, sothat's why she?
fell back with the homework.
(47:17):
She said this is her first yearand I think she's been a
teacher for 15 years.
This is her first year with theturnover that she gets with
homework coming back completed.
Wow, and that's why she does itevery other week, because she
says she nothing used to comeback when she sent it.
Every week she says, and I'veeven tried every other week.
She said but this is the firstyear she's had so much parent
(47:39):
involvement.
She's like do you guys like allknow each other, or something?
Speaker 1 (47:42):
I'm like I'm telling you that we're coming back.
Parenting is coming back.
We're not playing, no, kelly.
Another question for you?
Hmm, no, seriously, notno-transcript.
(48:09):
I guess being involvededucationally and socially with
their children, either prior tocoming to preschool or even
while their children arepreschool, because again, our
kids are going somewhere.
So like, how did what does thatlook like?
As a parent, you know whenyou're giving it to child
homework or work.
What are the parent doing athome.
(48:29):
Can you give us some examplesof what you, like, would like
parents to do to help makepreschool successful?
There we go.
Speaker 2 (48:38):
Well, learning starts at home.
That's the number one thing.
So I suggest that parentsnumber one learn how their child
learns what they like, you knowwhat will motivate them, right?
(49:01):
So when they do get intopreschool or when they do go to
kindergarten, right, the firstthing the teacher is going to
ask what does your child like?
First thing the teacher isgoing to ask what does your
child like?
You'll be able to give them ananswer.
Well, you know what he reallylike cars.
And if you just bring carsaround, he will do anything for
(49:26):
the cars.
And of course, as a creativeteacher, you can do a whole lot
with cars, right?
Speaker 1 (49:30):
So that just gave her a leg up in creating or putting
her lesson together wow, yeah,I never thought about it like
this yes, so, um, that helps awhole lot.
Speaker 2 (49:44):
You you're the parent is able to tell the teacher,
you know about their child,their likes and their dislikes,
right, well, we be wondering whya child is shutting down.
That's because we're doingsomething they don't like, right
, right, so, and then that's theimportance there.
(50:15):
And then, as the childcontinues to develop, you know,
you just start making sure thatthey have different things that
they you see that they arestruggling with, say, if it's
their county, right, um, a lotof uh or abcs.
(50:37):
I'll say abcs because a lot ofchildren or parents think their
child know their alphabets whenthey start singing them.
Speaker 1 (50:43):
Oh, I was gonna say I seen that today one of the um,
this college professional, shesaid that what she realized is
that, um, everybody's like mykids know the ABCs, my kids know
the ABCs, and then they startsinging them but then, without
singing them, they didn't knowthem, they didn't know what came
before or what came after.
I'm glad you said that, becausewe're thinking a lot of times
(51:04):
that we're oh, my kids know theABCs because we're singing them
but not actually using them.
Each letter individually,because letters form words Right
and words form sentences.
Each letter individuallybecause letters form words and
words for a sentence you know soon.
So that's a good point you saidKel, because I never thought
about it.
And so I heard this professorsay that yesterday.
Matter of fact, she was likeyeah, everybody think they kids
know ABCs.
(51:24):
I'm like, well, if they singingthem, they know them.
And then she was like no, andshe broke it down.
Speaker 3 (51:30):
So go ahead.
You can't even show them andthey won't be able to understand
.
Speaker 1 (51:32):
Yeah.
So you're saying do more thanjust sing to your kids.
Speaker 2 (51:36):
Yes, you have to, number one, tell them the
importance of learning a letter,because letter makes words
Letters.
You know this starts off likein the Becca curriculum you take
, you know two letters.
You say you know with the voweland the other constant, and you
(51:57):
put them together, it's a sound.
First, right.
Speaker 1 (52:00):
Oh yeah, we went straight to a letter make a word
, we're talking, we need somesounds, right, right, so they
have to learn those sounds rightokay, from them learning the
sounds and you, you put.
Speaker 2 (52:10):
You know another letter there.
Now you have a word but theyhave to know that structure see,
that's why you, that's why you,who you are, because you, you I
didn't jump right to the words.
Speaker 1 (52:21):
I'm like listen, you need to learn this letter so you
can get this word together.
No, you said you didn't learnthis sound, so you get the
letter so with that, you know,they're able to sound out words
yeah that makes sense, yeah,sense.
They're able to spell words.
Speaker 2 (52:33):
And then it also teaches them the importance of
certain letters like the vowelsRight, how they operate and also
how they change sounds.
Speaker 1 (52:44):
Yes, so don't just jump and skip and think your
kid's supposed to be reading awhole book and we didn't even
teach them how to sound.
No, they sound.
Speaker 2 (52:50):
No, they sound.
Yes, but the main importantthing is that you're teaching
them about their alphabets andwhy they're important.
So then, as you're teachingthem, they know exactly what
they are supposed to do and whatthey need to listen for.
That's good.
Speaker 1 (53:07):
All right, any more questions.
Because I know that was good,because I didn't even think
about that.
We need to come to a close,though, but anything, pamela, no
, that just really hit me likereally teaching them the
importance of the alphabet.
We're not just teaching analphabet.
(53:28):
Anything that we teach our kidsis not just teaching them just
to teach them.
It is really tools to get youto the next level, and we can't
jump and skip these levels.
Speaker 2 (53:37):
You know that's.
That's one thing why I love theabeca because they have levels,
they have steps and now, and itstarts at 18 months, wow that's
good, that's good, wow, allright.
Speaker 1 (53:51):
So we had a fantastic night here, apparently with a
purpose.
We learned a couple things evenin my um old age regarding
parenting you know, I ain't gotno babies, no more, I got some
god babies but just reallyunderstanding the foundational
things that we really, asparents, need to be able to give
our children, and howcommunicating and being involved
(54:13):
with the teacher, or evendaycare or preschool, how
important it is, I think tonight, like our takeaways, really is
making sure that we're laying afoundation of nutrition.
You know, and just a foundationof like excellence, like when we
talk about presentation andappearance and really giving our
(54:33):
kids the tools to be successful.
Speaker 2 (54:36):
and that comes from the parent first yes, because,
like you said, when nutrition wehave to be mindful that's brain
development right.
Speaker 1 (54:46):
Brain development is so important.
People don't realize.
I know one of the things when Iwas working in a doctor's
office and we, the parents, usedto come in I'm going to finish
this up but parents used to comein and ask us to write a letter
stating that their child couldnot have whole milk or they
wanted the 1% or skim milk andeverything.
And we used to have to explainto these families that that is
(55:08):
not healthy for a child.
You would think that it'shealthy because it's healthy for
an adult, but as children grow,you need that fat for brain
growth.
You need healthy fat for braingrowth.
And a lot of times we want toput our kids on diets and
restrict things from them,saying that they don't need this
and that.
But we know that sugar iscarbohydrates and that's energy
source, right.
We know that protein isnecessary.
(55:32):
We know that fat is actuallynecessary.
So we used to have parents andthey would get so upset with us
because we said your kid has tohave fat, like you want the
kid's brain to grow.
But they didn't understand.
But that's part of justeducating families too, when we
talk about nutrition and thethings that they need, not just
fruits and vegetables, becausethen some families will think,
oh, that's all they need isfruit and vegetables.
No, there's other parts thatyou want the grain to grow, or
(55:53):
you just want them to be realskinny and then you say look
like they're malnutrition.
Anyway, I digress, she's anurse.
So it's been really a greatnight.
Just learning about howimportant early childhood
education is and its necessitiesin order for our building a
(56:14):
foundation so that our childrenare able to build upon that
foundation and be able to havemuch fruit from that root is
important, um.
So we thank you, kelly, forcoming here again tonight and
just sharing with us yourexperience as a um, as a home,
uh, child care center and then acenter, and how we're so glad
(56:34):
that you are expanding.
You know I do remember you werejust at home with that little
living room not little, but withthat little living room but now
you have four classes andthat's just a testament of how
much love and and things thatyou're pouring into these
children, that that you're ableto grow and expand.
So that's that's.
That's amazing.
Definitely keep it up.
(56:54):
And I see that you know yourcenter is expanding to multiple
centers because of thefoundation you have laid in
these children for all thesedecades and we can see the fruit
of it.
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (57:07):
What you got to say, Pamela.
I just want to say thank youfor dropping a nugget of telling
us, informing us about learning, the importance of learning
your child.
Because, they are goingsomewhere.
So not just they have somewhereto go, but they are going
somewhere Making that statement,making that demand, having
(57:30):
their charge on their life, sothat when you're waking up, you
know you're waking up not justfor your own purpose but for the
purpose of your child.
Speaker 2 (57:39):
Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (57:40):
To help lead our communities, help lead you know
different organizations, to helplead this world, so it can all
be a better place.
This is what parenting with apurpose is all about dropping
the tools, the nuggets and thenalso what you're experiencing.
So, as we previously said,we're not just talking from what
(58:01):
we see and what we're reading,but real life things, watching
you evolve, because I rememberbefore it was four classrooms,
so just watching that grow,watching your staff grow and you
said you did advertisement.
I was like, did you I don't evenremember you doing advertising.
I remember seeing people likesend them the kingdom builder.
Speaker 1 (58:22):
Yeah kingdom butters love center word of mouth.
Speaker 3 (58:26):
So your actions are speaking for you, your character
is speaking for you in roomsand tables that you haven't even
been at yet.
So we thank you for what you do, what you stand for and coming
here to show up and inform ouraudience as well.
Speaker 2 (58:46):
Yes, thank you.
Yes, thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (58:49):
Well said.
So thank you again for joiningParental With A purpose um
podcast.
We are here every thursday at 7pm um bringing back the
responsibility and nobilitybeauty back into parenting.
You can follow us on facebookat parenthood with a purpose
page.
You can follow us on instagramon donna janelle um.
(59:10):
You can also email usparentingwap at gmailcom if you
have any questions or anyconcerns and even if you want to
be a guest on our show, if youhave a parenting story that you
would like to share with theaudience, we are open to all
stories.
There's nothing that there's, notopics we don't talk about.
So everything is a topic andwe're ready to engage with it,
(59:33):
even to engage with it Even ifwe don't even agree with the
topic or your stance on it.
We are available for healthydebates around here.
Yes, as you can tell, pam and Ihave a lot of healthy debates
around here, but we certainlyappreciate you guys joining us
and make sure that you follow usagain on Facebook and Parents
of the Purpose page and alsoInstagram under Donna Janelle.
(59:55):
Thank you.
cmpradionet the voice of Chester.
Thank you, hey everybody.
(01:25):
Welcome to Patterns with aPurpose.
I am your host, Donna Janelle.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
And I am your co-host , pamela and this evening we
have our special guest, kellyBowers, a business owner, a
God-fearing woman, and she isalso a lovely wife and an
awesome mother.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
And a grandmother.
Don't forget that Kelly's agrandma.
So, tonight's show.
You know we are striving.
Our mission here is to bringback the responsibility,
nobility and beauty back intoparenting.
Right, we know that parents arebows and our children are
arrows, and they will landwherever we aim them, as long as
we give them the tools right,as long as we're putting them in
(02:04):
the right direction.
As long as we give them thetools right, as long as we're
putting them in the rightdirection, as long as we're
clothing them right and thatallowing the world to close them
.
So, as we talk about that, ourinvolvement, parental
involvement how important it isthat there's such a mandate on
parenting.
Now, I don't know if you guyssee what's going on in the world
and the communities around usthat parenting is the answer to
some of these problems.
Right, it is the solution.
(02:25):
So our goal here at Parentingwith the Prairie is we want
parents to be involved in everyarea of your child's life,
whether your child is still inthe womb or all the way up to
adulthood.
Parenting never stops, right,it changes and evolves over time
, but it never stops.
So our job here is to make surethat parents are equipped with
the tools so that they can makesure parenting is successful as
possible, right, and, with thatbeing said, that there is a lot
(02:47):
that we as parents have to do,like the onus is on us, right,
we are responsible.
When we said responsibility,nobility and beauty, parenting
is beautiful, but yet it's hardand it has some challenges,
right, and we are all parentshere, so we know that there are
some challenges, so I don'tthink that we're coming to you
from what we just read in atextbook or what we read on the
screen.
Listen, parenting out here is ahard, not life for us, right?
(03:11):
I got four, pam got one, kellygot seven, psych not I got three
of my own, and Kelly got fourherself and hers are all adults,
right?
So we got parenting from everystage here at the table.
So we hope that we're going tobe able to enlighten you guys
with some uh, wisdom and somethings that we've gone through
(03:33):
and things that are reallyimportant.
You know, this topic that we'vebeen talking about, um, since
season three started, is reallyabout parental involvement.
You know we have started witheducation and we're still riding
out with this education thing,because we know that knowledge
is power and we know that if weequip our children and our
parents with knowledge that theythat will take them, they'll
become unstoppable and that willsolve a lot of the world crisis
(03:56):
today.
So thank you for coming to theshow, kelly.
Kale, kelly Bowers.
So, as Pam said, kelly is a sheowns a child care center.
She's in early education.
She's owned child care center.
She's gonna let us know alittle bit how long she's been
doing this, but she isresponsible for building the
(04:20):
foundation for some of ourchildren in the world so that
they become world changers.
Kelly, tell us you've been onthe show before.
Welcome back to the show, kelly, building a foundation for some
of our children in the world sothat they become world changers
.
Kelly, tell us you've been onthe show before.
Welcome back to the show, kelly.
Can you tell, can you remindthe audience and us of how long
you've been in early childhood?
Speaker 2 (04:36):
I have been in early childhood for 32 years.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Ooh, 32 years.
Let me count, so I am 44, 32.
Oh wow, yeah, yes, what's this?
I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Don't be quiet.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
That's what she does to me.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
No, but I wasn't hearing it, Pam.
Pam wasn't even born yet.
Pam, you couldn't do the math.
I know I'm specific.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
But so 32 years, wow, wow.
Tell us a little bit of how youI know you had, you were in
your, you had your own homedaycare, child care center and
then you went into this, thisnew adventure, and you've had a
couple of years now, into anactual center where there's a
lot more children, there'sdifferent ages and a lot more
(05:28):
requirements andresponsibilities absolutely so
how was that, how did thetransition come about and how
was that transition from thehome to now having a physical
center?
Speaker 2 (05:42):
well, the transition really started with my licensed
specialist when she had firstgave me the idea of thinking
about taking and putting mycenter into my church center
(06:03):
into my church, and I was like,okay, you know, that was a great
idea.
And then I of course pitched itto Bishop and when he had came
into my home center he had firstsaid well, how long you want to
have it here?
Speaker 1 (06:19):
And that was like that's good, but how long.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
So when the time came and I had to abruptly shut down
my home center due to theviolence in the area I was
living, I just had to shut itdown because I was responsible
for other children's lives, youknow, and I didn't want that
(06:44):
responsibility, you know, beingconcerned with bullets coming
through my home and everything.
So I immediately shut my homecenter down.
So it was shut down for a wholeyear, but within that year it
was a transitioning year becausethen I began the process of
transforming over to the centerwhich is located in Christian
(07:06):
Growth Ministries, and so 850North Church Street, to be exact
.
Yes, wilmington, delaware, 19801.
And now I have four classroomsyes, four classrooms, wow,
operating.
And we do have transportationnow.
(07:27):
So we have before and aftercare.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
Evolving yes.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
Evolving, so it is growing.
You know, of course you haveyour struggles here and there.
You know growing pains, I callthem Right.
But I am very thankful becauseI have a great support system.
You know, number one, a prayerpartner, and even you, pammy,
(07:55):
you know you have called andsaid I need prayer.
You know I was just thinkingabout you.
You know so prayer is thenumber one key.
Okay, that really got me.
You know so prayer is thenumber one key.
Okay, that really got me, youknow, motivated and encouraged
(08:17):
to make that transition.
And once I made the decision todo it, really everything because
it was God's will everythingjust started falling in place.
You know I had the help of mylicensed specialist at that time
.
You know they were very excitedfor me, you know so, when she
came in and looked at theclassrooms, not only did she,
you know child care businessowners that have larger centers
(08:38):
than mine, that were veryhelpful, very helpful, and still
are, as I call them, you knowthey respond to me very quickly.
(09:01):
So the transition it was hardin the beginning because the way
I had to shut down, but thenwhen I started moving in faith,
it became easy.
Everything just started fallingin place and I didn't really
have to do a lot of advertisingbut really word of mouth, and
(09:25):
then what I did start doing andputting out there.
I did receive clientele andthen we started having
graduating classes yes which isbeautiful when you do your
graduation.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
I attended the last one.
I thought that was just amazing.
It was up on stage, it's socute, it was so cute and they
are so excited.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
They come dressed and ready.
They tell their whole familyit's so adorable.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Now Kel Kelly.
Sorry, I said Kel because ofwhat I called you.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
Now Kel.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
I have a question what makes you really want to do
early childhood education, like, what's the drive there?
Because there are so manypeople you know they could start
off in early childhoodeducation and as they continue
to build their curriculum andthen go into their higher
education, they tend to go intolike school centers and things
like that.
(10:16):
Versus you know owning your ownchild care center, being a CEO
and director and was a teacher.
You stepped out of the teacherrole.
Now Are you still a teacher?
Speaker 2 (10:25):
you stepped out of the teacher role now, or you're
still a teacher?
I know you were.
No, I'm not um in the classroomnow.
Right, so you know I'm moreadministrative yeah, but finally
, but that's a blessing, yes butI do still go in and help
amanda with the preschool areabecause of the fact that you,
you know, I have severalchildren that would be
(10:46):
graduating this year, so I wantto make sure that they have
everything they need to have togo to kindergarten, you know, to
make sure nothing is, you know,lacking in any kind of way.
So I still assist her becauseshe still had those age groups
from three to five.
Okay, so those, you know, thosefour-year-olds, I have to make
(11:06):
sure that they write.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
Yeah, they write so ready.
Let's touch on that, becauseyou said I have to make sure.
So it's like you know thatthat's your duty, that's
something that you have taken on.
You don't really hear that toomuch.
So I know that you take itpersonal and that you genuinely
care number one.
However, what does that looklike?
(11:28):
Making sure to prepare, likewhat are some of the foundations
that you're like, okay, you'regoing to be good when you go to
kindergarten.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
Okay, number one is the curriculum that I chose.
Okay, I have been familiar inusing the curriculum a BECA
curriculum for over from thetime that I.
How many years is that?
Speaker 1 (11:55):
You got to go back to know that.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Yes, because what happened in the midst of me
doing my daycare?
I had closed my center, wentand worked in another school
setting for eight years, wow.
And in that time frame I wasintroduced to a Becca.
However, I was doing a Becca inmy home, not knowing about a
(12:19):
Becca.
So when I went to visit and wastrained down in Pensacola,
florida, only thing I did downthere was cry, because I knew
then I was being led by the HolySpirit.
So I was receiving and I wasjust buying as much material as
(12:39):
I could, but the actual traininghow to work it the Holy Spirit
had already taught me how towork it and I was doing the
Rebecca program in my homewithout the material.
I was creating the lessonsmyself, I was doing the drawing,
everything.
So when I went and say, wow, Idon't have to do this anymore,
(12:59):
they actually have books outthere.
Yes, so, yes.
So I taught that program foreight years outside of my home
and then the school shut downand then I came back.
But then when I came back Isaid, okay, Lord, do I want to
go into being a nursery programagain with the infants and the
(13:24):
you know, the babies, or how do?
How do you want me to do it?
I had to pray and ask thatquestion and then that's how I
came up with a preschool with apurpose.
That was the newness of mybusiness, Right Meaning that my
um found date the foundation.
My calling is to lay thefoundation of Christ in the
(13:46):
hearts of the babies that whenthey get older, that they will
go forth and change nations.
So I know why God has called meto do the preschool because
it's to give them that love, tohelp them to know who they are,
you know, to teach them aboutChrist, because of the fact that
(14:07):
when they go out there into thesecular schools, they won't
need anyone to tell them whothey are, Right, Right, so they
will be sound, they will have asolid foundation educationally
and they will have a solidfoundation spiritually that's
good.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
That's good because that was the question I would
made.
You really do preschool andthat makes sense now because you
need to lay that foundation,because now at the preschool age
, they're talking, they'rewalking and they're sponges.
You know, as the nursery age,their babies, you're more, just,
you're that care for them, butjust in a different way.
Um, so I think that that'sawesome.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
Yes, so when they're in the infancy, one, twos,
they're in regular clothes, butwhen they no I'm sorry the
one-year-olds, but at thetwo-year-old is when they
actually have their curriculum,really start kicking in with
different learning and they havetheir books.
(15:06):
So that's when I have them toget in the school setting
mindset.
So they wear the uniform.
That's the purpose of whythey're in a uniform, so I'm
preparing them for school.
There's no time to baby them.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
Right, she said the baby's age is over.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Yes, because of the fact, and it's easy to do, you
know, because they're so lovable, you know they still need, you
know all that extra care.
But we have to learn how to doit tenderly, but with the
mindset of knowing they're goingsomewhere Right, but with the
mindset of knowing they're goingsomewhere right and we have to
make sure that they are wellprepared for where they are
(15:49):
going.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
Wow, that's good, kel , because I think sometimes even
as parents, right, we want tobe all lovey-dovey on our kids
and like hug them, like, likethey build the bears or
something all spongy and stufflike that and really sometimes
that takes away of our role forthem and our job and our goal
and a purpose for us to reallylead them to their next steps.
That sometimes it hinders them.
(16:11):
So I like that because you'reright, like in a, in a in a
regular daycare, like there'sjust different care for the kids
, but once they start to growand we're, what are we setting
them up for?
How are we preparing them upfor?
How are we preparing?
I like the uniform idea becauseI don't know back in my day
it's structured, oh yes itpresents.
Um, there was a thing calleddress for success.
(16:32):
So I feel like that's whatuniforms kind of get you, and
even if it's not a regularuniform, but even if you're just
dressed in like a suit and tieand things like that, it really
prepares the children for amindset that we were going for a
purpose and that I'm dressingfor the success that I'm looking
to get.
So I love the uniform idea,even at such a young age as two
years old, I think that?
Speaker 2 (16:53):
that's just amazing.
Yes.
Speaker 3 (16:55):
Helping with routine.
So, even if it's not a strongroutine at home, they know, oh,
when I'm coming to KingdomBuilders.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
I know I wear this five times.
I may not know how many days isin a week, but I know.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
I'm wearing this five times and it's already setting
a foundation of structure rightthere.
So you said educationally andspiritually, but you're also
equipping them with other toolsthat, even if they're not
getting it at home, them comingto Kingdom Builders, it's being
integrity, showing up as theirbest selves.
(17:32):
Because I'm sure if you seesomebody's uniform you know we
look the same.
But you got your stain on yours.
You're like, oh man, I got tobe a little neater.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
Right, look at there, I do address that, I do address
that.
Because I do address that, I doaddress that.
And to the point of if thechild has not really succeeded
in that area yet, you know,because at home their eating
habit may be different, right,they may be still running around
or using their hands.
(18:01):
But we at the school, we givethem their tools.
And we encourage them to usethem and we're sitting there
with them and we great job, youknow.
But if we see someone that isstill struggling with their fine
motor skills, I'll remove theshirt.
Okay, I will.
I will remove the shirt Because, you know, once they get all
(18:25):
cleaned up, you know, get theirface and their hands everything
you know.
I put their clothes back on andthey still be neat.
They won't be walking aroundwith stains and everything in
their shirt.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
That's really good.
You know, my kids go to themilitary academy and one of the
things that they do is they do auniform inspection, like my kid
, like I've never knew of thisbefore because I've been running
my daughter, my oldest daughter.
She went to private school, butI don't recall them doing
inspections for like uniforms.
You know, I've always presentedin such a way where she's
really neat.
However, but with them going tothe military county, it really
(19:00):
opened my eyes on.
You know, I'm big onpresentation anyway, but but it
took it up another notch withthe kids because they knew
inspection was coming, so theiruniforms had to be neat, they
had to no stains, none of thatstuff.
So I think that's really good.
Teach them at a young age ofpresentation, like how to
present well your best selfforward.
Speaker 3 (19:20):
And to care for your thing.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
Yes, and also how you present your classwork.
It represents you, so if youare made to look well, your
paper should look just like you.
Wow, mm-hmm.
So that means okay, I don'twant people to think I'm being a
(19:45):
tyrant.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
OK.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
So, but you do have to train the children how to
hold the pencil, how to colorRight.
No, they're not going to startout right away.
No, they're not.
That's all a part of thetraining and their development.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
Right, right.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
Right, development, right, right, right.
So as they start developing,and you can, their
communicational skills and morefine motor skills and everything
, but as they're doing it, youstill making um, giving them
compliments, right, you aredoing such a better job today,
staying in your lines and youknow writing your name, oh my
(20:24):
good, the letters could beeverywhere, they could be
backwards, they could be, butthey wrote them Okay, or they
tried.
So you want to compliment that.
You know you want to build themup with positivity.
You know that they willcontinue to improve and they
(20:45):
will take it home.
Mom, dad, look what I did.
They're proud, you know, andthat's good because you're
building up their self-esteem.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
I'm glad you just said that In your expert opinion
.
How important is it to haveparental involvement Very
important and what have parentalinvolvement Very important and
what does parental involvementlook like?
Speaker 2 (21:10):
Well, for me, parental involvement means
number one.
The parent is involved inpreparing their breakfast,
involved in preparing theirlunch?
Okay, no, seriously, because Ihave in the small center just
for a moment.
We don't have the ability toprepare our lunch.
(21:33):
Okay, so I made the decisionwith parent involvement.
Hey guys, would this be toomuch for you to bring the
children's luncheon?
Speaker 1 (21:44):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
They have agreed.
But also the children love itbecause it becomes a
conversational piece at thetable and I love that because
they're communicating with oneanother.
Speaker 3 (21:58):
Do they keep trying?
Speaker 2 (22:00):
to trade no.
Oh, that's good no they do not,they do not try to trade.
Speaker 3 (22:05):
That's good.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
They are very thankful with their mom or their
dad has prepared for them, andthey will let you know if dad
prepared their lunch.
They will say that that isbeautiful.
So no, they have not.
You know, they're very proudabout what's in their lunchbox,
and they'll also let you know ifit's something new.
(22:29):
You know one child today he hadAmanda and I in tears.
He tried it, he really did.
He chewed it up.
He said ooh, ooh, and spit itout.
And said ooh, ooh, ooh, it spitit out.
It said we were hot, but it wasso cute, you know, because he
(22:56):
um, when we tell the children,that's your mom's love, so you
have to eat your mom's love.
This is what she gave to you,so try it, you know.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
And he like what kind of love is this Cause you
telling me this?
My mom love, wait a minute.
Flag on the plate flag on theplate.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
He ate the rest of the lunch.
But it was funny, it really was.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
But, yes, how they take involvement in, like I said
, their lunch Excuse me theirpresentation with their uniform,
their communication with us.
Ok, you know, and you knowbecause it's important as we
have the children about 10 hoursa day.
(23:44):
You need to let us know if younotice something that the child
may not be feeling well that day, you know, or you think they're
getting a little cold orsomething like that, and give us
instructions on what you wantus to do.
So but it's also important thatwhen the child brings home the
(24:04):
classwork, that part that'svital.
Why?
Why?
Because how you take a look attheir work as a parent.
If you say, great job, johnny,you did it.
Oh my goodness, you make a bigdeal out of it and hang it up.
That gives them.
(24:26):
When they come back in theirperformance the next day, they
just ready to do something.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
I'm going to make a line today.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
That's right, Because they just they want to make
their parents proud.
Right, okay, you know but ifyou just don't even take it home
out of the cubby, that says alot.
Speaker 3 (24:47):
Especially the, you know, the three-year-olds
four-year-olds, that startsplanting little stuff inside of
them, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
And they don't want to learn.
So when we say, okay, let's docircle time, let's play a game
with our numbers or our letters,they uh, uh-uh.
It's not important to thembecause it's not important to
the parent.
Wow.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
So, wow.
So what I'm hearing you say isthat parental involvement is
vital, and one of the ways thatparents can get involved is
getting involved in theireducation.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
Absolutely.
We went to visit a schoolBishop and I and we were talking
to I believe she was the viceprincipal and she said the worst
thing ever is when they have tomake a decision on a child's
life based upon 504s, ieps andFIs, and the parent didn't take
(25:51):
the time to come and sit andmeet with them to find out
what's going on with their child.
Now in the school, the statehas to make a decision on your
child's future without you.
Wow, that stuck with me, yeah,like, oh, my God, right, yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
Parental involvement is so important because, because
you know, as we say here and wesay all the time, parents are
your first teachers, your firstcheerleaders, your first
advocates, your first lovers.
Like, parents are the first ofeverything.
And if what you don't get athome and you expect someone else
to give to your child, I thinkthat's utterly ridiculous.
Like you gotta get give it tothem so that they can understand
(26:33):
and accept it from others.
Um, I think you and I had thisconversation previously, kel,
about um, when we talk about thewhole yelling at kids and stuff
like that, right, yeah, about,like, if a parent is yelling at
their kid, now we talk aboutparental involvement.
I ain't talking about bescreaming at your kids, um, but
if a parent is constantlyyelling at their kids, when they
get into another setting, thatadult now has to yell at those
(26:55):
kids because that's all theyhear.
You know, like, if youconstantly screaming, like
because they're not going tohear the soft, gentle voice or
the level voice, because theirears are not attuned to that,
because they're so used tohearing somebody yell at them,
and then that becomes a problemwithin a classroom because, say
that you're a teacher who don'tyell at kids, well, this kid is
never going to do what you askthem to do because you ain't
(27:16):
gonna be yelling at them, right?
So, really, training parents sothat we're not screaming at our
kids, that we're talking withthem, not at them, right?
Um, so that they're better offbe able to receive the education
they need to receive, from thatstandpoint, yes.
We talk about that a lot becausewe see a lot of that.
Speaker 3 (27:36):
That's called something Like when you use that
same tone all the time, becausethen when you do have to get
stern with them, it's like, well, you talk like this all the
time.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
Yeah, like you mad today.
I didn't even know you was mad,because you like this all day.
Speaker 3 (27:54):
It's an emergency.
Are you sure you get what I'msaying, like, should I really be
doing this or should I be doingthat?
Because this is what alwayshappens here.
And it's like, wow, we reallygot to sit back and evaluate
ourselves, like, what are wereally doing?
Speaker 1 (28:08):
You know what that happens.
How effective are we yeah, howeffective?
Speaker 2 (28:14):
Yes, because we have to make sure that we are getting
our point across to ourchildren, because you have to
think about it In the age thatthey're growing up in, compared
to Compared to your age.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
Kelly.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
Compared to your age, kelly all right compared to
your time okay um, I'm closer tothat than she is um, our
children today have a lot ofdistractions, uh-huh yeah, a
whole lot of distractions, soit's hard to get their attention
.
So us, as parents, really,really, really need to know how
(28:59):
can we get our children'sattention.
Speaker 3 (29:01):
Yeah, they are listening because they're
exposed to so much, so much inthis time frame.
Like I remember my grandma usedto be like oh, these kids, as
fast they busy.
I was like no, y'all used totreat us like we was a little
slow and we probably was exposedto certain things.
It was holding us back Liketheir minds go like a thousand.
(29:24):
Sometimes I sit there and watchVictoria and I'm like what are
you thinking?
And she'll get like so tickledpink like mom, how do you know?
And I'm like I can tell you docertain things.
It's either she wants to do anaction, whether she wants to
write or read, and thensometimes she's about to draw
and it's like I don't even wantto do this anymore.
It's something else I got to godo and I'm just like so damn.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
Always moving, always moving.
Speaker 3 (29:47):
So so damn.
Today she was doing herhomework before we came and she
was like I said what's going on?
She was like I got to take mymoment mama and I was like, all
right, it's over 17.
I said you messed me up.
She said you told me about mybreathing.
You told me about my breathing.
She said mom.
She said I didn't want to sitin and she did her shoulders and
(30:12):
everything.
And I sitting there like, oh mygosh, you're using what I'm
teaching you and I love it and Iwas just like she's like I'm
serious, mom.
I was like I understand, I'msorry, but it's so funny to
watch them do it like a littlewoof style.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
Yeah, and it's so funny because back in the day if
a child did all that extrabreathing and stuff, a parent
would think that the child wasbeing smart and get smart and
they get knocked out of theirchair.
Speaker 2 (30:35):
I'm trying to tell y'all.
I'm seeing it and it happenedto me, Like when we suck in
their teeth.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
Yeah, suck in their teeth.
Oh, you taking a deep breath.
I'm just breathing.
What's the problem?
Like I didn't know I wasn'tallowed to breathe today.
I didn't know I wasn't supposedto swallow my saliva, that you
didn't hear me.
Like I don't know, but it'sreally different in this day and
age Of really giving ourchildren that space and teaching
them how to self soothe.
That's what it is, because as ababy, when our kids self soothe
(31:04):
, a lot of parents were, but notreally.
Our kids have to grow up butthey're not going to be with us
at all times and we need toequip them with the tools to be
able to manage her doing that.
It's probably funny as hecklooking at it.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
I probably would have fell on the floor.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
But really giving them that time even at such a
young age, and I think sometimeswe devalue our children at the
age that they are thinking thatthey don't need all that.
But apparently she couldn't sitdown and she needed it.
So even Carol, when you look atyour kids and you sit there, I
need to come in Maternity, tocome in and do a moose eye day
with them.
Babies, carol.
Speaker 3 (31:38):
I see one of your old kids they say she from Kingdom
Builders and the parent lookingat me like I said I want to
visit, I want to visit.
I didn't teach them.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
Yeah, I think that is so important to really teach
them how to be independent.
So you know, one of the thingsabout parenting is that we want
to do so much for our children.
Like parents, you want the bestfor them and a lot of times
that there's such a line whereyou're doing too much, not
enough or just right Right, andit's hard to tell.
But ideally we really want toteach our children how to be
(32:15):
independent as early as possible, and I think some parents me in
the beginning was babying somuch, oh, you know, and my
sister had a two year old.
Speaker 3 (32:21):
Yeah, my sister yeah Like oh, I was not like that.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
Y'all probably thought something was wrong with
me.
You're a different generation,so you realize.
Speaker 3 (32:30):
I literally did not like my mom would come over
sometimes and I'd pick that babyup and I'd be like no, she's
going to be okay.
Like something happens to metoday or tomorrow, my child's
going to be okay.
She's like Pam, she's only onemonth.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
Wait a minute.
Speaker 3 (32:45):
Look at her right now .
Look at Victoria right now.
But Pam, pam, she ain't got nochoice to be with you, I'm
telling you I am because I wasdetermined from when she was in
my womb the way I would talk toher, teaching her about family,
just character confidenceeverything.
Even if I was going throughsomething, I'd be like mommy's,
(33:06):
not having a good day today, butI don't want that to affect you
.
Literally having realconversations, because when I
didn't, and I would be upset,she would like cringe in my
stomach so bad, it would be likeso painful, like oh my gosh,
can you please move?
And I literally would sit thereand talk to her, we would pray,
and then it would be likerelease.
(33:28):
It's still like that, still tothis day, because that was my
biggest thing I want her to beindependent.
Speaker 1 (33:34):
Yeah, it really is Like we're supposed to nurture
them and grow, but alsounderstanding that they won't be
babies forever and that theyreally need a sense of
independency so that they cangrow and mature themselves.
Growth and development If youlook at the stage of growth and
development, there is a lot ofindependency in those growth
stages.
We, just as parents, sometimeswant to just, oh, my baby.
(33:54):
I've been telling my sisterwith my, uh, baby girl she 18
months I'd be like, hey, bro,let her do that.
I remember and she's gonna giveme.
But I remember a story when shewas trying to give her different
foods.
And you know, I'm a pediatricnurse and I've been doing this,
you know, for a long time andI've been doing this, you know,
for a long time and I've beenparenting for over 25 years.
So I'm like why is she stilleating it?
(34:15):
Like, and why are you feedingher?
Like what is going on?
And I was like you, really,she's, but she's going to get
messy.
It's okay, that's part of that.
And I used to be like I used togive her different foods and my
sister's like I didn't evenknow.
So sometimes, even as parents,we want to just continue to baby
them, but they that's not whatthey need.
(34:36):
We parents got to give them,our children, what they need,
not what we want them to haveright because we're preparing
them to go somewhere yes, yeah,yeah, absolutely yes absolutely.
Speaker 2 (34:47):
You know, that's one thing that I keep in the
forefront of my teacher's mind.
You know, especially mywonderful Kalia.
She's a cuddler.
Hey, kalia, that baby, they'vebeen hugged all morning long by
you.
Okay, kalia is a hugger becauseat your graduation, kel, at
(35:09):
that graduation.
Speaker 1 (35:11):
All them little babies did not want their
parents.
They was running up on stagefor Khalia.
Speaker 2 (35:15):
I was weak.
Speaker 1 (35:16):
She couldn't even finish their program with the
other kids because those babieswas really having a fit to try
to get to her.
I thought I was like, wow, theyare so attached to her.
Speaker 3 (35:25):
She's a couple and they can't say her name.
What do they call her?
It's so cute.
Speaker 2 (35:27):
Some say Lili, um, they, but some say Lily, and
some I don't know.
Speaker 3 (35:33):
They call her this one name and I was like who is
that?
Speaker 1 (35:37):
Who is that Like Kalia, and I'm like, oh yeah,
but you, it's good to have aperson who's at a child
especially when you go tocenters right To be able to love
your child as much as as as youdo, um, it's very important but
also, like you said, remindingyour teachers that they have
somewhere to go, somewhere.
(35:57):
So, because I saw that I waslaughing, my behind them, kids
was running up on the stage,they moms was like come back
over here, and I was like, oh,it's a struggle between the
teacher and the mom today.
I was weak.
I was over there weak because Iwas like yo, he don't even want
his mom, though, like yo, hewant that teacher.
But that's so important toremind teachers that they have
(36:19):
somewhere to go.
Speaker 2 (36:20):
And I like that.
Speaker 1 (36:21):
One of the other things, Kel, that I want to talk
about tonight is nutrition.
Speaker 2 (36:27):
Yes, we talked a lot about that.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
Yeah, yes, nutrition a lot about that.
Yeah, yes, nutrition what?
What we see in the lunches,what we see um in the breakfast,
or even the snacks that some ofthese parents bring in for
their kids.
A lot of it, um, sometimes it'sjust quick stuff, like we want
our kids to have something quick.
But you and I had thisconversation and pam, I think we
talked about this on the showbefore about um certain things
(36:51):
that we have in our children'ssnack that really kind of alter
the brain right, um, thechemicals and things and um and
also the hazard in them, notjust the chemical base but even
just a choking hazard and thingslike that.
Let's touch base on that alittle bit, because you are
early childhood education, soyou dealing with children when
they come from bottles to umfinger foods, to using utensils
(37:16):
and really having to learn howto navigate, chewing and
swallowing, so let's talk alittle bit about that.
Speaker 2 (37:24):
Okay.
So when you and I were talkingabout that, my first concern was
the oodles and noodles.
Let's deal with that.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
Oodles and noodles.
Are you familiar?
You know what oodles andnoodles are?
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
You giggle no.
Speaker 3 (37:46):
She giggle, but the oodles and noodles.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
I had to ban them because of the fact yes, because
, number one it became a chokinghazard.
You know, we found that out.
And then all the salt it is.
There's a lot of salt in thosethings, you know, we don't want
(38:14):
to keep giving our babies abunch of salt and we're
wondering why they haveheadaches and they're getting
sick and and everything likethat.
You know, um, some children usedto have uddles and noodles
every day.
Yes, and it's not good and it'snot a healthy meal, you know.
So, um, we sent out donnahelped us to put a letter
(38:34):
together and we sent out thefood pyramid to yes, to the
parents to give them an idea ofthe different type of foods that
need to be given duringbreakfast, lunch.
And we take care of the snacks.
So we know that their snacksare healthy, because that's what
we have to do per the state.
(38:56):
So they have to have wholegrain milk water.
They cannot have juice all thetime, but if they do have a
juice, it has to be 100% fruitjuice.
Yeah, yes, so that's what wemake sure that we serve now,
(39:17):
when we do our am snack.
It's usually like a whole grainwaffle or it could be pancakes,
but it has.
They have to have fruit withthat meal also, and milk or
fruit juice.
Speaker 3 (39:34):
You know um it could you have to do a grain and a
fruit for the am snack but forpm snack?
Speaker 1 (39:42):
same thing oh wow, yeah, it makes sense because you
know you're supposed to getfour fruits, vegetables per day
and you can get, and then againwe're building a foundation
right yes so even teaching them,because some parents really
just don't know, they kind ofjust give them what they have
left over or something like that.
They really don't know, or theeasiest thing and not really
understanding nutritional valueof food right.
(40:05):
So starting them off early, sonot even just teaching the
parents, but teaching thechildren right of what they
should eat and what fruit lookslike and what's vegetables.
You know, when we talked aboutthat whole oodles and noodles
thing, it was just in thevegetable also in the vegetable
yeah, they need to get familiarsnacks it could be either or
so like celery is a vegetablebroccoli well, you know those
(40:27):
things, but it's so important,like when we, when you had
mentioned that oodles andnoodles like, and I just like,
yeah, well, it's sodium, butit's a choking hazard too.
Like what is it the oodles andnoodles like?
How?
And parents really don't knowmy daughter, she loves ramen,
but what she does, she makes herown.
Now, um, because she doesn'tuse any of the seasons in there,
she just like to, actually theway the noodles are.
(40:49):
So don't want to test my game,so y'all know.
She makes her own ramen, thoughshe uses the noodles, but then
she puts her own broccoli inthere and she does all this
stuff.
It was so gourmet.
It was so gourmet.
One day I was like this isgourmet, because I was like you
didn't put a swing on oozingnoodles.
We didn't do this back in theday.
But at first I had banned itfrom her because I thought that
(41:13):
all she wanted was these noodlesand I thought about the sodium
intake and things like that.
But when I found out that shewasn't even using those packets
like she really just liked thenoodle portion of it.
Speaker 3 (41:24):
Oh, for the babies.
They was putting the packets inthere.
Oh yeah, oh, oh yes.
Speaker 1 (41:33):
That's a flag on the plate.
Flag on the plate like and halfof them trying to learn look,
they're trying to learn how toswallow, and all that and they
got noodles all curled up thesalt.
Yeah, oh my yeah um, but it'sso important, even in your, in
your line of work, is to educatethe families on nutrition.
Speaker 3 (41:54):
So do you sit?
Speaker 1 (41:55):
Oh, I'm sorry, no, because it's just not academia,
it's holistically.
Speaker 3 (42:00):
Yes, absolutely Go ahead, shori.
I was going to say, when youhelped make the letter, did you
give full ideas?
Speaker 1 (42:10):
I think I put a couple examples on there.
Yeah, I did put examples onthere.
Speaker 2 (42:14):
How to replace it.
Speaker 1 (42:15):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (42:16):
I did.
Speaker 1 (42:16):
Because I'm a strong leader.
If you're going to tellsomebody to take something away,
you better tell them what toadd in, Because they're going to
add to anything else Somethingworse than what you told them to
take away.
I know right.
Speaker 3 (42:27):
You might just have all chips, yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:31):
She'd be having it yeah.
Speaker 3 (42:35):
So I want to like slide back to you being at the
house.
Did you have teachers?
Speaker 2 (42:45):
there with you, or was it just you?
Well, I did have teachers withme, but they were younger, they
were growing up in the field andyou know they probably stray
from it now because they areadults.
But I always had, especially inthe summertime.
If one of the children that waswith me when they were younger
(43:08):
and now they're a teenager andthey want a job, I let them come
work for me.
Speaker 3 (43:13):
I still do that.
Oh, that is awesome, I still dothat.
Speaker 2 (43:16):
Yeah, Like this year, I had Rain Chapman with me With
me, I had Jaya Lorraine with me.
Speaker 3 (43:26):
It was and they love the little people.
Yes, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (43:30):
They have a heart for them, so that's awesome.
Speaker 3 (43:32):
They love the little people.
Yes, absolutely.
They have a heart for them.
So that's awesome, even the waythat you give back and give an
opportunity to see is this aroute that you want to go?
Yes, absolutely, when you startcareer-wise and things of that
nature.
Speaker 2 (43:45):
Yes, so during the summertime I do bring in
teenagers that would like towork with the children, have a
summer job and they have aworkload.
I let them know what they haveto do so they cannot just be
sitting around.
No, you cannot be on your phone.
Your eyes are at work.
(44:07):
You have to watch the children.
Speaker 3 (44:09):
Because they're busy.
Yes, read books, play games,arts and crafts, keeping them
active so for communication, Iknow you, um, we're seeing you
know, uh, showing up for thechildren in different ways, but
how do you communicate with theteachers, you and your staff?
(44:30):
Do you guys use like an app,emails in person letters?
Speaker 2 (44:35):
with the parents or with the teachers with the
parents like.
Speaker 3 (44:38):
So how do you and the staff communicate with the
parents?
Speaker 2 (44:43):
um anyway, different ways.
Um number one on face-to-facecommunication.
All right, um is the number onewhen they first come in and I
do allow my teachers to havebasically the freedom to
communicate with the parents.
Now, if the parents askbasically like an administrative
(45:03):
question, then send them to me.
Okay, you know, but if it'ssomething pertaining to the, you
know their child, they seentheir child?
Do you know something that they?
Um observed?
you know, um, yes, write it downand share with the parent you
know.
And then you come and we'll putit in their folder once you get
(45:25):
your response right.
So I do give my, my um teachers, that freedom to communicate
with the parents, but also makeme aware.
So they're trying to loop.
So, yes, so face-to-facecommunication.
Naya sends out emails.
(45:49):
Okay, or a sickness that isspreading around, something that
is very, very important, thatthe parents need to know
immediately.
Now you will send out an email,we'll text, we'll phone call,
whatever way we have to do, wedon't get their attention.
(46:10):
One way, we'll keep it going.
Speaker 3 (46:14):
And so do you feel as though you've made the
environment suitable for parentsto have that open line of
communication with you and thestaff absolutely awesome, a
little bit too much sometimes,because sometimes I wonder if
parents, like, don't communicatebecause they don't feel as
though they have thatenvironment.
Speaker 2 (46:33):
Right right.
Speaker 3 (46:34):
Or you know, like it's made available to them.
Like I had to tell mydaughter's teacher this year
like I don't know, I guess I wasso used to her teachers in the
past, like you know, justcommunicating certain things and
I don't get to physically seeher how I used to with Victoria
being in early education center,so the communication was
(46:56):
different.
So I told her like I'm thatparent that wants to know, like
everything.
If it doesn't cost you too much.
You know, could you, could youdo this?
And she was like, oh my gosh,she used to get shot down.
So that's why she fell back.
She didn't get responses, sothat's why she fell back.
She didn't get responses, sothat's why she?
fell back with the homework.
(47:17):
She said this is her first yearand I think she's been a
teacher for 15 years.
This is her first year with theturnover that she gets with
homework coming back completed.
Wow, and that's why she does itevery other week, because she
says she nothing used to comeback when she sent it.
Every week she says, and I'veeven tried every other week.
She said but this is the firstyear she's had so much parent
(47:39):
involvement.
She's like do you guys like allknow each other, or something?
Speaker 1 (47:42):
I'm like I'm telling you that we're coming back.
Parenting is coming back.
We're not playing, no, kelly.
Another question for you?
Hmm, no, seriously, notno-transcript.
(48:09):
I guess being involvededucationally and socially with
their children, either prior tocoming to preschool or even
while their children arepreschool, because again, our
kids are going somewhere.
So like, how did what does thatlook like?
As a parent, you know whenyou're giving it to child
homework or work.
What are the parent doing athome.
(48:29):
Can you give us some examplesof what you, like, would like
parents to do to help makepreschool successful?
There we go.
Speaker 2 (48:38):
Well, learning starts at home.
That's the number one thing.
So I suggest that parentsnumber one learn how their child
learns what they like, you knowwhat will motivate them, right?
(49:01):
So when they do get intopreschool or when they do go to
kindergarten, right, the firstthing the teacher is going to
ask what does your child like?
First thing the teacher isgoing to ask what does your
child like?
You'll be able to give them ananswer.
Well, you know what he reallylike cars.
And if you just bring carsaround, he will do anything for
(49:26):
the cars.
And of course, as a creativeteacher, you can do a whole lot
with cars, right?
Speaker 1 (49:30):
So that just gave her a leg up in creating or putting
her lesson together wow, yeah,I never thought about it like
this yes, so, um, that helps awhole lot.
Speaker 2 (49:44):
You you're the parent is able to tell the teacher,
you know about their child,their likes and their dislikes,
right, well, we be wondering whya child is shutting down.
That's because we're doingsomething they don't like, right
, right, so, and then that's theimportance there.
(50:15):
And then, as the childcontinues to develop, you know,
you just start making sure thatthey have different things that
they you see that they arestruggling with, say, if it's
their county, right, um, a lotof uh or abcs.
(50:37):
I'll say abcs because a lot ofchildren or parents think their
child know their alphabets whenthey start singing them.
Speaker 1 (50:43):
Oh, I was gonna say I seen that today one of the um,
this college professional, shesaid that what she realized is
that, um, everybody's like mykids know the ABCs, my kids know
the ABCs, and then they startsinging them but then, without
singing them, they didn't knowthem, they didn't know what came
before or what came after.
I'm glad you said that, becausewe're thinking a lot of times
(51:04):
that we're oh, my kids know theABCs because we're singing them
but not actually using them.
Each letter individually,because letters form words Right
and words form sentences.
Each letter individuallybecause letters form words and
words for a sentence you know soon.
So that's a good point you saidKel, because I never thought
about it.
And so I heard this professorsay that yesterday.
Matter of fact, she was likeyeah, everybody think they kids
know ABCs.
(51:24):
I'm like, well, if they singingthem, they know them.
And then she was like no, andshe broke it down.
Speaker 3 (51:30):
So go ahead.
You can't even show them andthey won't be able to understand
.
Speaker 1 (51:32):
Yeah.
So you're saying do more thanjust sing to your kids.
Speaker 2 (51:36):
Yes, you have to, number one, tell them the
importance of learning a letter,because letter makes words
Letters.
You know this starts off likein the Becca curriculum you take
, you know two letters.
You say you know with the voweland the other constant, and you
(51:57):
put them together, it's a sound.
First, right.
Speaker 1 (52:00):
Oh yeah, we went straight to a letter make a word
, we're talking, we need somesounds, right, right, so they
have to learn those sounds rightokay, from them learning the
sounds and you, you put.
Speaker 2 (52:10):
You know another letter there.
Now you have a word but theyhave to know that structure see,
that's why you, that's why you,who you are, because you, you I
didn't jump right to the words.
Speaker 1 (52:21):
I'm like listen, you need to learn this letter so you
can get this word together.
No, you said you didn't learnthis sound, so you get the
letter so with that, you know,they're able to sound out words
yeah that makes sense, yeah,sense.
They're able to spell words.
Speaker 2 (52:33):
And then it also teaches them the importance of
certain letters like the vowelsRight, how they operate and also
how they change sounds.
Speaker 1 (52:44):
Yes, so don't just jump and skip and think your
kid's supposed to be reading awhole book and we didn't even
teach them how to sound.
No, they sound.
Speaker 2 (52:50):
No, they sound.
Yes, but the main importantthing is that you're teaching
them about their alphabets andwhy they're important.
So then, as you're teachingthem, they know exactly what
they are supposed to do and whatthey need to listen for.
That's good.
Speaker 1 (53:07):
All right, any more questions.
Because I know that was good,because I didn't even think
about that.
We need to come to a close,though, but anything, pamela, no
, that just really hit me likereally teaching them the
importance of the alphabet.
We're not just teaching analphabet.
(53:28):
Anything that we teach our kidsis not just teaching them just
to teach them.
It is really tools to get youto the next level, and we can't
jump and skip these levels.
Speaker 2 (53:37):
You know that's.
That's one thing why I love theabeca because they have levels,
they have steps and now, and itstarts at 18 months, wow that's
good, that's good, wow, allright.
Speaker 1 (53:51):
So we had a fantastic night here, apparently with a
purpose.
We learned a couple things evenin my um old age regarding
parenting you know, I ain't gotno babies, no more, I got some
god babies but just reallyunderstanding the foundational
things that we really, asparents, need to be able to give
our children, and howcommunicating and being involved
(54:13):
with the teacher, or evendaycare or preschool, how
important it is, I think tonight, like our takeaways, really is
making sure that we're laying afoundation of nutrition.
You know, and just a foundationof like excellence, like when we
talk about presentation andappearance and really giving our
(54:33):
kids the tools to be successful.
Speaker 2 (54:36):
and that comes from the parent first yes, because,
like you said, when nutrition wehave to be mindful that's brain
development right.
Speaker 1 (54:46):
Brain development is so important.
People don't realize.
I know one of the things when Iwas working in a doctor's
office and we, the parents, usedto come in I'm going to finish
this up but parents used to comein and ask us to write a letter
stating that their child couldnot have whole milk or they
wanted the 1% or skim milk andeverything.
And we used to have to explainto these families that that is
(55:08):
not healthy for a child.
You would think that it'shealthy because it's healthy for
an adult, but as children grow,you need that fat for brain
growth.
You need healthy fat for braingrowth.
And a lot of times we want toput our kids on diets and
restrict things from them,saying that they don't need this
and that.
But we know that sugar iscarbohydrates and that's energy
source, right.
We know that protein isnecessary.
(55:32):
We know that fat is actuallynecessary.
So we used to have parents andthey would get so upset with us
because we said your kid has tohave fat, like you want the
kid's brain to grow.
But they didn't understand.
But that's part of justeducating families too, when we
talk about nutrition and thethings that they need, not just
fruits and vegetables, becausethen some families will think,
oh, that's all they need isfruit and vegetables.
No, there's other parts thatyou want the grain to grow, or
(55:53):
you just want them to be realskinny and then you say look
like they're malnutrition.
Anyway, I digress, she's anurse.
So it's been really a greatnight.
Just learning about howimportant early childhood
education is and its necessitiesin order for our building a
(56:14):
foundation so that our childrenare able to build upon that
foundation and be able to havemuch fruit from that root is
important, um.
So we thank you, kelly, forcoming here again tonight and
just sharing with us yourexperience as a um, as a home,
uh, child care center and then acenter, and how we're so glad
(56:34):
that you are expanding.
You know I do remember you werejust at home with that little
living room not little, but withthat little living room but now
you have four classes andthat's just a testament of how
much love and and things thatyou're pouring into these
children, that that you're ableto grow and expand.
So that's that's.
That's amazing.
Definitely keep it up.
(56:54):
And I see that you know yourcenter is expanding to multiple
centers because of thefoundation you have laid in
these children for all thesedecades and we can see the fruit
of it.
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (57:07):
What you got to say, Pamela.
I just want to say thank youfor dropping a nugget of telling
us, informing us about learning, the importance of learning
your child.
Because, they are goingsomewhere.
So not just they have somewhereto go, but they are going
somewhere Making that statement,making that demand, having
(57:30):
their charge on their life, sothat when you're waking up, you
know you're waking up not justfor your own purpose but for the
purpose of your child.
Speaker 2 (57:39):
Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (57:40):
To help lead our communities, help lead you know
different organizations, to helplead this world, so it can all
be a better place.
This is what parenting with apurpose is all about dropping
the tools, the nuggets and thenalso what you're experiencing.
So, as we previously said,we're not just talking from what
(58:01):
we see and what we're reading,but real life things, watching
you evolve, because I rememberbefore it was four classrooms,
so just watching that grow,watching your staff grow and you
said you did advertisement.
I was like, did you I don't evenremember you doing advertising.
I remember seeing people likesend them the kingdom builder.
Speaker 1 (58:22):
Yeah kingdom butters love center word of mouth.
Speaker 3 (58:26):
So your actions are speaking for you, your character
is speaking for you in roomsand tables that you haven't even
been at yet.
So we thank you for what you do, what you stand for and coming
here to show up and inform ouraudience as well.
Speaker 2 (58:46):
Yes, thank you.
Yes, thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (58:49):
Well said.
So thank you again for joiningParental With A purpose um
podcast.
We are here every thursday at 7pm um bringing back the
responsibility and nobilitybeauty back into parenting.
You can follow us on facebookat parenthood with a purpose
page.
You can follow us on instagramon donna janelle um.
(59:10):
You can also email usparentingwap at gmailcom if you
have any questions or anyconcerns and even if you want to
be a guest on our show, if youhave a parenting story that you
would like to share with theaudience, we are open to all
stories.
There's nothing that there's, notopics we don't talk about.
So everything is a topic andwe're ready to engage with it,
(59:33):
even to engage with it Even ifwe don't even agree with the
topic or your stance on it.
We are available for healthydebates around here.
Yes, as you can tell, pam and Ihave a lot of healthy debates
around here, but we certainlyappreciate you guys joining us
and make sure that you follow usagain on Facebook and Parents
of the Purpose page and alsoInstagram under Donna Janelle.
(59:55):
Thank you.
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