December 29, 2024 • 50 mins
Join the crew of "Parents Night Out with No New Friends" as they dive into the hilarity of last-minute holiday preparations and the chaos that ensues. This episode features amusing anecdotes about last-minute Christmas shopping adventures, including Scott’s frantic trip to Walmart and Chris’s comical experiences at a liquor store. The team shares their struggles with gift-giving, revealing how they often have to lay the groundwork to get their loved ones excited about their presents. As the conversation flows, they touch on humorous holiday traditions and the unique gifts they've chosen for family members. With laughter and relatable stories, this episode captures the essence of the holiday season, blending parenting challenges with a dose of unfiltered fun.
Takeaways:
- The podcast emphasizes the importance of humor in parenting, especially during the holiday season.
- Listeners are encouraged to embrace last-minute shopping adventures, as many parents do.
- Gift-giving can often be a guessing game, requiring groundwork to ensure satisfaction.
- The hosts share personal stories about procrastination in holiday shopping and gift-wrapping experiences.
- Engaging with kids during the holidays can create bonding moments through activities like wrapping gifts.
- The comedic elements throughout the episode highlight relatable parenting struggles and holiday chaos.
Companies mentioned in this episode:
- Disney
- Sandpiper Vacations
- Walmart
- Target
- Goodwill
- Five Below
- Amazon
www.nonewfriendspodcast.com
www.sandpipervacations.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Disney vacations.
All inclusive resorts, cruisesand family trips to Idaho.
Travel to your favorite placeand have a celebration.
Sandpiper Vacations.
Broadcasting from theSandpiper Vacation Studio.
Welcome to Parents Night outwith no New Friends.
(00:23):
The comedy break every parent deserves.
This is the podcast whereparenting meets pure unfiltered fun.
Real raw hilarity.
It's your night out withoutthe kids, where nothing is off limits.
And we say what everybody elseis thinking.
(00:43):
Whether you're a parent orjust need a good laugh.
We've got the adult humor you crave.
So kick back, relax and getready to let loose with us.
This is Parents Night out withno New Friends.
Tuck your kids into bed, paythe babysitter a little bit extra.
(01:06):
It's time for Parents Nightout with no New Friends.
There are so many great waysto connect with us.
Just check out our website, nonew friends, podcast.com.
all of our links are right there.
While you're there, check outour really sweet merchandise and
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Become a friend with benefitsfor as low as $2 a month and get
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(01:27):
more.
We are recording live everysingle Monday at about 8, 8:30pm
Eastern Standard Time on the YouTube.
So check us and also follow uson the TikTok heparks with no new
friends.
My name is Scott.
I'm the host with.
With me, as always, my amazingcast of characters, the scumbag reselling
hoarder himself, Chris.
Happy Kwanzaa, everyone.
(01:48):
It's our favorite time of the year.
The Jewish American princess, Sarah.
Hello.
Our emotional support, gayNick, Felice Navidad and our producer,
Alex.
Life is short.
Well, Merry Christmas, everybody.
Happy Hanukkah for us.
This is Christmas Eve Eve,December 23rd.
Christmas Eve Eve.
(02:08):
It is Christmas Eve Eve forthe rest of the world.
It's Sunday after Christmas.
So you're getting ready forNew Year's.
You're.
I don't know what you'redoing, but it's not Christmas anymore
if you're hearing this now.
Anyway, so speaking ofChristmas, I finished my Christmas
shopping today.
December 23rd.
(02:28):
Wow.
Yes, I did too, I think.
Yeah, I'm very last minute.
I went to Walmart.
I went to Walmart today too, actually.
It was Chris.
It was awful.
I went to Target first, butlike, I couldn't find a parking spot
so I drove to Walmart, whichwas fine because I wanted to listen
to more of the Wicked soundtrack.
So, like, it worked out there.
(02:48):
You got that?
Yeah, but.
And not the porn, Chris.
The.
The movie.
I was gonna say I don't watchthat in public usually, but it was.
It was awful.
It was terrible.
But I learned that my daughterAbby is the best shopping buddy because
(03:09):
all I needed to get today wasstocking stuffers for Rachel.
That was it.
And she knew exactly what to get.
It was fantastic.
Sarah, I feel like you weregonna say something.
You're not finished yet, are you?
No, I still have stuff comingin tomorrow, and then I have to pick
up two more things.
Tomorrow?
You know tomorrow is Christmas Eve.
Yeah, but I checked.
The places are open at leastfor enough time for me to be able
(03:33):
to get what I need.
Okay, I think you have us beatwith the procrast.
Procrastination?
Yeah, because I got myChristmas tree two days ago, actually.
Listen, wait, wait.
You're like in the movies.
Hold on, hold on.
I watch these movies wherethey're decorating the tree on Christmas
Eve and I'm like, that's not realistic.
People have their trees uplike after Thanksgiving and walk.
(03:56):
Sarah.
Sarah's like, hold my man of Shavitz.
Maybe that's what was involved.
But we spoke about the wholeCEO thing.
Okay.
And I, you know, with.
With the death of.
Of the CEO and.
And whatnot.
And I.
I spoke about the GoodwillCEO, and I'm wondering if something
(04:17):
happened now because theprices have kind of lowered.
So I walked into the Goodwilljust manifesting a Christmas tree
because I'd seen them and they did.
They had beautiful Christmas trees.
And I walk in and it's Thriftmas.
And it started that day and itwas 50 off.
(04:39):
So I got a seven and a halffoot pre lit tree that has all these
different Funky settings for $40.
Wow.
Wow.
And the lights still work on it.
Every.
Yes, every one of them.
I am so satisfied.
It looks beautiful.
I feel Christmassy.
(05:00):
I feel pride as a Jew becauseI got it at a discount.
So I just.
Yeah, and I'm really bad atgift giving, so I started looking
for things like three days ago.
Realistically.
Yeah.
(05:20):
I went to five below yesterdayand was like, shoulder to shoulder
with everybody.
You are Jewish, aren't you?
Five below for Christmas shop.
That was stocking stuffers.
Okay?
Stocking stuffers.
Okay.
And I still spent a hundreddollars on stocking stuffers.
So let's be fair.
I.
I still went a little crazy.
Because in your head,everything doesn't add up the way
it does until you get to the register.
(05:40):
Correct.
Especially on Amazon.
Well, that one says it rightthere in your card.
Yeah, but I'm not payingattention to that.
No, that's called dyslexia.
Well, I am.
When I check out, it's different.
When you just stood in linefor 20 minutes and then you get there
with a cart full of stuff, and.
You'Re like, I just want toget out of here.
You already see the pile ofstuff behind the register that people
are like, oh, maybe I don'twant this.
(06:02):
And I'm like, I don't want toadd to that.
Nope.
My anxiety won't allow me todo that.
Just.
I'll take everything.
Yeah, it.
Okay.
I guess it's a problem whenI'm in the checkout line and my daughter
looks at me and she's like,well, that wasn't as bad as last
year.
And.
And just sees the price and.
And it's terrible.
Well, I see it in.
(06:25):
In increments, you know?
Right.
So because of Klarna?
Well, not this year, actually.
Last year a little bit.
Yeah.
Not gonna lie.
I was gonna say I see pricesin increments as well, but, you know.
You spend like a couplehundred here, a couple hundred there,
you're like, oh, that wasn'tthat bad.
(06:45):
And then you're like, oh, my God.
Where's.
Where's my bank account?
Yeah.
When you see the bank account.
Yeah, yeah.
You get the email saying yourbalance is below a hundred dollars.
Right.
Right in there.
Like, wait, how did thathappen, Chris?
How last minute are you.
You.
You're.
You're done, right?
No.
So I have.
I like to tell myself that I'mbetter under pressure, and I wait
(07:09):
to the last week.
Yeah.
Okay, so.
And I get really good giftsbecause I don't overthink things.
Right.
So for Emily, I ordered hersomething on Thursday and had to
pay 18 extra dollars forexpress shipping for it to get here.
So sometimes it does not work out.
But anyway, before I go onwith this story, how old do you guys
(07:30):
think I look?
Just give me a range.
Just like you don't think hardabout it.
Just give me a range.
Early twenties?
Mid twenties.
Mid.
Okay, mid thirties.
Perfect.
Okay, perfect.
I am procrastinating by force.
I have to go and do the restof my shopping tomorrow.
(07:52):
So I did the grocery shoppingat Walmart for Christmas day stuff.
Then I went across the streetto the liquor store, and I was in
there for a half hour gettingall the rest of the stuff.
I got the Santa's LittleHelper wines for my neighbors.
I like to drop them off at the door.
Okay, great Christmas gift.
Then I.
(08:12):
Emily gave Me a recipe forChristmas margaritas, which we're
gonna make tomorrow night.
It's cranberry juice, limejuice, triple sec.
Went to the triple secsection, nothing was there.
I go up and ask the personthat works there.
She says, oh, it's this aisle.
I go there, it's not there.
So this is what's taking me so long.
They just a very unorganizedliquor store.
(08:35):
So I finally found it, and Ikid you not, 25, 30 minutes later,
so I have it on my basket.
I go up, she rings me up, it's $80.
I swipe my card and she goes,oh, I forgot to ID you.
And I was.
You serious?
I was like, I literally paid.
Like, she was printing out my receipt.
And then I go to get mywallet, and my wallet's not in my
(08:55):
pocket.
So I was like, okay, it's inthe car because I took it out to
pay for something at Walmart.
So I was like, I'll be rightback today.
I'll just put it to the sidefor you.
Okay.
I go in my car.
Not there.
So I go back in and she's.
Oh, did you not find it, like,real, like, real cheerful, like she's
just gonna let me go Anyway, Iwas like, yeah, it's.
She goes, okay, well, justswipe your cardigan.
I'll return all this for you.
(09:20):
So I had to wait in line againbecause busy.
It's.
It's two days before Christmas.
And she sure as she scannedeverything back and made me return
all of the alcohol.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
Never.
I.
I always thought the ID thingwas just like, yeah, just show me
your id.
This lady was all business.
(09:40):
I like looking at her, like,full beard and like, limping.
She had a beard or.
You.
Worked at Walmart, Nick?
Of course she did.
And no, our Walmart's don'tsell alcohol.
I wish they did.
So, yeah, so now I have to goto a liquor store on Christmas Eve
shirt.
Won't be busy on Christmas Eve.
(10:00):
Nobody gets alcohol onChristmas Eve.
Nop.
And yeah, and then I was.
I had to get lottery ticketsthere too.
My mom just texted me, hey,get the lottery ticket.
I was like, actually, I didn't.
I was going to until I wasrefused service at the counter.
Yeah.
So first.
First time that ever happened.
Unbelievable.
And it was one of those, like,rinky dink alcohol or liquor stores
that have no businessfollowing any laws.
(10:23):
Wow.
They're the ones that getaudited all the time by the, the,
the, the.
The tobacco and whateverbureau you.
This, this should Be a lessonto you though, because you're all
like, oh, you know, I've gotmy credit card on my phone.
I just do Apple Pay.
You know, it's so easy.
It's so easy, you know, justApple Pay.
(10:43):
I never forget my wallet.
I never forget my id becauseit's all with me.
It's all with me.
I've got my cards to pay for,to pay with, stuff to pay.
You know why I forgot it, Scott?
Why?
It's right here.
Because I was online shoppingfor Christmas presents before I.
Before I left.
That's funny.
Well, now we have like digitalIDs too, that you can get through
(11:06):
the airport.
I have seen that.
Yeah.
That may be the fulltransition for me.
I don't know.
So you won't be allowed to dothat after January.
That's true, that's true.
No transitioning here in Florida.
So in addition to my daughterbeing a great shopping buddy, she
was like super excited to wrappresents with me.
And you know, my wife has hadeverybody else's done.
(11:29):
Like, I'm talking everybody else.
My stuff, Darren's stuff,Mikayla's stuff, Abby's stuff, my
parents, my extended family,Everything's been wrapped for weeks
because that's just whatRachel does.
And, like, if she boughtsomething else, she wraps it immediately.
I typically wait tillChristmas Eve.
And when I say I typicallywait to wrap on Christmas Eve, I
(11:49):
typically wait and then haveMikayla wrap everything on Christmas
Eve.
Because I am not like, I amthat typical dude rapping things.
It's all a mess.
It's a straight white male.
Exactly.
Yeah, I think it fits to that.
I'm a straight white male andI love wrapping gifts.
I take my time.
My wife thinks I take too much time.
But, you know, you gotta beparticular if you want it to look
(12:10):
really nice.
So Abby's like, super excited.
I'm like, this is fantastic.
Like, I've got her, got herdoing this.
So she informs me as we getstarted that she doesn't know how
to rap.
And I'm like, oh, and I'mgoing to be the one to teach you.
Okay, here we go.
Within two presents, she was a pro.
And like, she's telling melike, hey, your side's uneven there.
(12:30):
Like, she's coaching me.
But I have a new partner incrime when it comes to rapping.
It's amazing.
But Sarah, I'm with you.
I'm the worst gift giver ever.
I like, I'm terrible at it.
I hate Christmas from theaspect of I have to find Stuff for
my wife.
So let's.
Let's go over her top giftsthis year.
Okay.
The record player, that's.
That's the number one.
(12:50):
But she already knows about itbecause it said it on the box.
I had that same issue.
Yep.
I got her a shirt that has apossum on it.
And the possum is like.
And it says, first of all, I'ma delight.
And then I have a snoring problem.
(13:12):
I snore at night and she hasto wake me up to turn so that I stop
snoring so that she can goback to sleep.
Well, I get woken up and it'ssuper annoying.
So I bought her one of those,like, sleep headphone headband things.
Like, it's like the headbandthat has Bluetooth speakers in it
so that she doesn't hear mesnoring so that I can stay asleep
(13:32):
at night.
So we'll see.
We'll see.
So this all benefits you?
Correct.
That's what I was gonna say.
Yes.
It'll help me.
I'm the worst gift giver ever.
I got her this.
It's a charging stand, youknow, with a built in charger.
But I realized she doesn'thave this, like, she doesn't have
(13:54):
the magsafe thing or whateveron the back.
So she's not gonna be able tocharge it.
It's just gonna be.
That's a sweet gift.
Yeah, great gift.
Great gift.
I'm just terrible at this stuff.
So, Nick, you had Santa Clauscome down your.
Your street?
We did.
He.
So you guys talked about itlast week, about how Santa rides
(14:15):
around on like a fire truck oryou guys have a flatbed or something
in Florida?
Yeah.
Yeah.
He came around ourneighborhood, say, tractor, hey,
come around our neighborhood.
And I slept through it, so Imissed it.
So there's literally alarms.
There's literally fire trucksgoing apparently down our street.
And I missed it, so didn't getto see it and.
(14:37):
Sounds like New Jersey.
Nick, to be completely honestwith you, just like, just turns into
white noise.
Yeah.
I was gonna ask if Scott gotyou a pair of those headphones too.
No.
Listen to sirens all day.
It's probably from all theweed you just pass out, right?
I just.
I needed a nap.
(14:57):
Yeah.
So unfortunately we missed it.
I didn't even tell Piper aboutit ahead of time, so she's like,
it's okay.
She's all good.
She saw him on tv, so.
I feel like it's different, though.
On tv?
No, because the one that comesaround in the neighborhood is like,
they're on a fire truck, andthe guy is obviously wearing the
fakest beard ever.
(15:18):
Yeah.
So it's not even, like, a good one.
Well, yeah, but he's afirefighter, so he's hot underneath
the beard.
Firefighters aren't hot.
Not where I live.
Yeah, it's.
It's not a great.
Not a great area town to.
For that.
Yeah.
So I missed it.
But I did see a sexy Santalast week.
(15:42):
Oh, that I want to talk about.
Yes, please.
So last Wednesday, I had anight out on the town with my husband.
We had a date night, but wewent out for my cousin's birthday.
And.
Yes, Scott, this is the hot cousin.
I was just gonna ask.
The hot one.
Yeah, yeah.
So we.
We went out for her birthday a few.
A few weeks early.
But there is an all malereview here, which is strippers.
(16:08):
Male strippers.
And they were doing a magicMike show at the mall.
Oh, at the mall, at the mall.
And by at the mall, I mean, itwas actually a speakeasy inside of
a bar there or a restaurant.
So you go back into thiskitchen and you walk through their
cooler, and that takes youupstairs to the speakeasy, which
was weird.
(16:28):
Yeah.
I feel like that's like thestart of a murder movie taking place
in New Jersey.
I.
I would have let these guysmurder me.
So here's what had happened.
So it's basically us two gayguys and, like, 60 girls in this
room.
Then there was another gaycouple at our table, too, so there
(16:48):
really was no men there.
And the guy comes out, andhe's trying to act like he is.
What's his name?
Matthew McConaughey.
Yeah.
All right, all right, all right.
He's trying to act like he'sthat, but when you look at this guy,
you just know he's on aregistry somewhere.
Okay.
Not a lot near women.
You know, he's probably gropeda lot of women.
(17:10):
So he.
He was an interestingcharacter that was hosting the show.
But there was four malestrippers that came out.
The first thing they did was asexy Santa dance wearing the scream
mask but doing it.
Doing it to the mean girls.
Jingle bell rock song.
(17:31):
But what.
Why the scream masks?
I.
I don't know what was.
There's no gay guys there.
I'll let you know that.
Okay.
None of the strippers were gay.
I was surprised because Seanand I walk in, we're like, we're
probably gonna know them all.
All of our friends have neverbeen to, like, a strip show before,
and Sean and I are like, themost comfortable in there.
We're like, this is, is atypical Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday,
(17:52):
Thursday, typical night atChris's house.
Like, yeah, I don't, I don'tknow what's with the creepy masks
that they had on for sexySanta outfits.
But I still turned on.
I thought all male stripperswere gay though.
So here's the thing.
One of them was homophobic.
(18:12):
Gonna call him out.
Really don't know his name.
So the, the guy that hostedthe show, he kind of was going around
on the microphone beforeeverything and he's like, oh, we
have some guys in the audience.
He's like, I love seeing thatwe have guys here.
He's like, honestly, we wentto some other shows to like try to
get some ideas of what theywanted to do and they didn't let
them go watch the show becausethey were men and saying that it's
(18:35):
only women's shows.
Which is weird because I'mlike, don't a lot of women go to
female strip clubs?
Uh huh.
Scott would know.
That's a very quick yes, sir.
Scott.
So yeah, so he was really coolwith it and stuff.
And like I decided to have funand throw some dollar bills up to
see if they would come overand give me a little dance or two.
(18:58):
The one guy completely ignoredme all night long, really.
But he also looks like hedidn't want to be there.
He was chewing gum the whole time.
Like it was just very awkward.
But the other ones like comeover and they were having a great
time with us, but clearlysuper straight by the way they danced.
Yeah.
I even mentioned that I wantedto defy gravity with them and they
(19:21):
didn't even, they even knowwhat that meant.
So clearly straight.
Nick's like, are you teamgreen or team Pink?
And they're like, what are youtalking about?
Chris and Sarah are also like,what are you talking about?
Yeah, that much I know.
At least you still haven'tseen it.
(19:41):
No, sorry guys, can't with you.
I'm just gonna send you guyslike every single meme and reel that
has to do with.
So you can just forward them when.
I send it to you because Ifeel like I'm sending you every single
wicked reel that comes up onmy feed.
Perfect.
My poor husband tells me allthe time about the ones that I already
(20:04):
haven't watched of his.
And then I reference somethingthat one of the girls sent me today
and she went to look and she'slike, there's like a lot of unseen
tiktoks.
So join the club.
It'll be in that mix.
That's basically all I hadwith the strippers.
I mean, we.
(20:24):
We had a good time.
It was a Wednesday night, sowe were home by 10 o'clock, which
was great.
Nice.
Not mad about it, but I dowant to bring up something else that
came up.
So obviously I got excitedthat night.
Speaking of things that cameup that night.
So I decided on Friday night,I was gonna get a hotel room here
(20:46):
in.
In Columbus.
Really?
So I have points.
It's the end of the year.
All my friends in the travelindustry are doing the same thing.
We're all trying to get ourpoints to get, like, our flight statuses.
And I have points that I needto get for Southwest Airlines so
I can get companion pass again.
And if you understandcompanion pass, it basically means
I can fly one other personwith me for free for the next year.
(21:07):
Oh, nice.
And I've had it for the lasttwo years now, and it's sa like,
a ton of money.
So I look up and I can.
I can get a hotel room in Columbus.
And it gives me, like, 11, 000bonus points.
I'm like.
Because they're not bookinghotel rooms in Columbus.
It was because it was a bigfootball game.
Apparently the next day, some.
Something happened where therewas Buckeyes and an orange team that
(21:30):
people didn't like.
I didn't watch it.
Okay.
Ohio State 1.
I know.
Oh, good.
Yeah.
Glad to hear that, guys.
So I got a hotel room.
Sean stayed home.
It was super nice to just,like, get out of the house and, like,
kind of clear my mind.
It's been crazy busy witheverything and got a hotel to myself
(21:51):
for the night.
So I had this brilliant idea.
I'm like, I have the night to myself.
I'm just gonna pop a gummy,like, try to invite a guide over
so I can have a little bit of,like, alone time with another male.
And the gummy hit really,really hard to the point that I had
to cancel my blow job.
(22:14):
Wow.
Nothing worse than canceling ablow job.
Scott's like, let's go back.
How do you schedule one of those?
You have to sign up on mycalendar, go on my link tree.
(22:34):
I'm sorry, Nick.
That.
That's.
That's rough for you.
Yeah, it was.
It was a little rough night.
It was.
But you know what?
I was.
I was okay with it.
I'm like, I.
I had fun just checking out, vibing.
I was texting with somefriends that night, probably sending
you guys reels and all that, so.
Nice.
So, yeah, I got blue balls nowfor Christmas.
(22:59):
Sorry to hear that, Nick.
Yeah.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
So, you know, obviously, lastweek was my birthday, and, you know,
I do.
I do this other podcast withDane and.
And Sophisticated Gentlemenevery once in a while.
It's called Creators United, and.
And they.
They put together a birthdayepisode for me, which I thought was
(23:20):
really, really cool.
And you guys know I'm a hugeIndiana Jones fan.
Huge fan of the.
The stunt show.
You haven't mentioned anything.
Oh, okay.
Well, I'm a huge fan of theIndiana Jones epic stunt show at.
At Hollywood Studios.
And they surprised me.
We had a guest interview, andit was the.
(23:41):
The Kevin Broussard, who.
Who was the original IndianaJones stuntman from the stunt show.
So super cool interview.
I had so much fun.
It was definitely a thrill for me.
It.
It ranks up there with theexcitement that I had interviewing
Carlos Navarro and Jeremy Miller.
So it was super fun.
But Dane has given mepermission that once it gets uploaded
(24:04):
on the Creators United, I canalso put it up as an episode on Parents
Night out at some point.
So you'll get to hear thatepisode or you can hear it now on
Creators United, and I'llprobably put the video for Patreon
only.
So it's super fun interview.
I loved it.
I had so much fun.
That sounds awesome.
Did you tell him that youstalked the entire show?
He figured that out.
(24:25):
He figured, like, did you ask,like, the questions, like, the security
know that you're literallylurking over bushes?
I didn't tell him all that.
Well, I did tell him that as akid, I would go see three shows per
day.
The.
The first one that.
Three times, actually.
The first show, the.
(24:46):
The.
I would eat at Backlot Expressso I could see through the gate.
And then the.
The nighttime show, I think herealized that I have a problem when
I knew which stunt people saidwhich lines and.
And the different things thatthey say.
And I'm quoting things like,at one point, you know, we were talking
about how, you know, he got tomeet Harrison Ford at the.
(25:10):
At the premiere for Dial ofDestiny, and I.
I was like, hey, Dane, do youknow the difference between Harrison
Ford and Kevin Broussard?
And he's like, no, I don't.
I was like, about $200million, which is a line from the
stunt show.
And, yeah, and I did.
I did a couple of those.
I dropped a couple ofdifferent lines from the show.
(25:30):
And, yeah, I think he's worried.
I think that he.
At one point, like, I.
I.
You know, when someone takes A screenshot.
You can hear the littleshutter that.
I think he took a screenshotto the.
They can put me in the breakroom and warn everybody about me
because it was.
It was scary.
But, no, super.
Just.
What a.
What a great guy.
(25:51):
And, Chris, you got to see the interview.
It was great.
It was really cool.
Yeah, you were salivating.
Yeah, I was.
I was.
And I definitely have a bookthat now that pictures are stuck
together anyway.
Wow.
But no, he was super nice,super chill.
And, you know, sometimes whenyou meet people in entertainment,
(26:12):
they.
They don't.
They're not necessarily proudof the role that they play, and it's
like an inconvenience for themto be doing, like, interviews and
to be asked questions about itand all that.
No, he's.
He's so in.
He's so in love with the rolesthat he's gotten to play.
And, you know, he doesn't playindie anymore, but he trains the
new indies, and he said that'shis passion.
He loves doing that.
And it was just.
It was just really cool.
It was a really cool interview.
(26:34):
I'm a big fan of him,obviously, and then the show as a
whole.
So it was fun.
It was a fun interview.
So make sure you check that out.
Okay, let's.
Let's check in with Giles Garmin.
Giles Jarman.
Giles Jarman.
Giles Jarman.
Giles.
Let's check in with Giles Jarman.
(26:59):
And now it's time for themore, you know.
And here's your host, Giles Garmin.
Hello there.
Giles Garmin here, letting youknow that on the next episode of
into the Disney Vest, you canhear all about the history behind
who Framed Roger Rabbit.
(27:20):
It's actually one of our mostintellectual episodes ever because
we're missing a specialsomebody from North Carolina on the
episode.
The character of Roger Rabbitis very out there, very manic, always
entirely unexpected, and hatesit when other people are playing
Patty cake.
So as you might expect,somebody that, you know, somebody
that's been embroiled in quitea bit of controversy was originally
(27:42):
attempting to play him in the film.
Yes, a very special host fromthe Arkham Asylum comics.
Of course.
As a reminder, you can checkout new episodes of into the Disney
Verse on all streaming services.
New episodes drop on Monday.
That's a Disney verse.
D I, Z any Y, V, E R S E.
And that's all from me.
Giles Garmin.
(28:03):
Yeah, Eddie Deezen.
I messaged him during theshow, and I said, is it true that
you were considered for bothRoger Rabbit and Judge Doom?
You know, we were doing A showabout you.
Said you'd be a great Roger Rabbit.
Thought it'd be cool to gethis input.
It turned out to be super depressing.
He messaged back.
He said, yes, this was mydream role.
And it crushed me when Ididn't get it.
Oh.
I was like.
(28:23):
I said, happy Hanukkah.
You know, he unfriended me.
Did he?
Yeah.
Because last night was our.
Oh, yeah, your.
Your night.
Polar Express night.
And I.
I went to go message him justto see how he was doing and let him
(28:44):
know that, like, you know,we're doing the Polar Express sleepover.
And, yeah, he.
He unfriended me.
That's really depressing.
And I don't know if it'sbecause he's got so many.
He's got, you know, over.
He's got 5,000.
So.
Yeah.
So someone else can't make the cut.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I guess it was me thatcouldn't make the cut.
So I was very sad.
Very sad.
(29:04):
But it is what it is.
If you need to talk to him,let me know.
I'll message him for you.
So you're.
So he's.
You're still friends on Facebook?
Oh, yeah.
He comments on all my stuff.
Like, he's best friends with me.
Like, he even wishes myparents a happy anniversary.
Can you ask him if, like, Idid something wrong?
Did I upset him?
Maybe he thought you were.
(29:24):
I was you.
And when I brought up somehorrible things from his past about
Roger Rabbit.
So he.
So he was taking the RogerRabbit thing out on me?
I.
I would assume so.
Maybe he's trying to hurt.
Hurt you.
To hurt me.
I think that's probably 40 chess.
Because I was like, oh, I'mfriends with the.
(29:45):
The nerdy kid on Polar Expresson Facebook.
I was gonna show the kidsagain, you know.
No, he could have called.
He deleted me, too.
What?
Let me make sure I'm stillfriends with him.
I just messaged him the other day.
Maybe that really set him off.
Wow.
I'll confirm.
Yeah, no, he's my friend.
Oh, no, we're not friends anymore.
(30:06):
We're friends.
Wow.
So three hours Christmas shopping.
I know it's Walmart, but Ireally need to get something that
I couldn't find anywhere else.
Here I am with a very niceemployee there.
Well, you can still see hisstuff, though.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's public.
It's so weird.
He, like, most of the timewhen you're a celebrity, people want
(30:28):
to take pictures with you, andhe's just out there taking pictures
with Random people and puttingit on his Facebook.
Yeah, but you know what?
That probably makes them feelreally good.
Like, hey, you know, here'sEddie Deason saying, hey, can I take
a picture with you?
Like that's a cool thing forthem, you know?
I guess.
Does he only wear plaid shirts?
(30:49):
Yes.
Yes.
Plaid shirts.
You guys ready to play Jersey Man?
Florida man.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yes.
Where the Flipping a fan,Motor crash in a truck.
These states are filled withpeople who suck.
So it's time for us to playNew Jersey man versus Florida man.
(31:11):
Everywhere.
Week Game master Ryan bringsus two news stories.
One is from Jersey, one isfrom Florida.
It's up to us to determinewhich one is which.
Take it away, Ryan.
Hey, guys, this is Ryan, yourin the field news reporter for the
Parents Night out news team.
And I am reporting to you livefrom a mall.
We received reports that allthe children in the mall had to be
evacuated so a bald man couldsit and talk to the Santa.
(31:32):
So we rushed over to get thescoop on what the Parents Night out
team asked for for Christmas.
So I have everybody's listhere, so let's start going through
them.
I love this.
Let's start with Nick.
Nick asked for drugs, poppers,alcohol, and for Maddie to do more
than five hours of work a week.
Let's move on to Sarah.
Actually, Sarah, why don't youread your list?
(31:54):
You keep laughing at thatjoke, I'll keep doing it.
Sarah said for JewishChristmas that she wants a lot of
green things.
Money, weed, and a green cardfor Lewis so their marriage will
actually be official.
And one last thing she askedfor was a computer that the goddamn
webcam actually works on.
Moving on to Chris.
Chris asked for the normalvideo games, Pokemon cards.
(32:16):
Oh, here's a new one.
He asked for Ozempic.
And mostly that he would keepall his toes this year before the
sugar got to them.
Oh, my God.
This year he asked for a morelively pet.
Have you tried hermit crabs?
At least you can cook those upwhen they die.
He asked for his secondtesticle to finally show up.
I'm pretty sure Rachel's gotdibs on that.
Wants a matching pair.
And Scott also asked for a sonthat he can be proud of.
(32:39):
Man.
Sorry, Darren.
Speaking of Darren, we have ashort list from him, too.
He's looking for a bulletproofvest and a father that he can be
proud of.
All right, the shots fired.
Wait, we have Sean's list.
Sean wished that Tiny Tim fromA Christmas Carol had survived to
adulthood so he could quote,plow that ass that's disturbing.
Anyways, before this getsworse, let's get into our Florida
(33:01):
man and Jersey man stories.
And for our first story, a manfires shots after getting agitated
by a Christmas parade.
And for our second story, aman plotted to kidnap his ex girlfriend
on Christmas day.
Okay, Nick, what do you think?
Why do these all sound like Scott?
I feel like the Christmasparade would be Florida.
(33:23):
I just feel like there's lotsof parades down there.
Okay, Sarah, I haven't seenone parade yet, so I'm gonna go opposite
New Jersey Chris.
I'm with Sarah on this one, actually.
And I'm gonna stick with Nick.
I think parade Florida.
All right, let's find out the answer.
So our first story is fromFlorida, where a man was arrested
(33:43):
after he allegedly fired offseveral shots during a neighborhood
Christmas parade because hebecame agitated at what the paradegoers
were doing.
Maybe he's just protecting his property.
Santa did break into his houselast year and eat some of his cookies.
So that means.
Our second story is from NewJersey, where a man who is accused
of stalking his ex girlfriendallegedly concocted a plan to kidnap
her on Christmas Day.
(34:04):
According to police, the manwas found with a stash of items such
as a satellite cell phone,guns, knives, handcuffs, all in his
rental car.
Police were tipped off on this.
When for Christmas, the manasked for a satellite cell phone,
guns, knives, handcuffs, and arental car.
And in other news, in SanBernardino, a mother is arrested
for using a giant marijuanaplant as a Christmas tree.
(34:26):
Now, if this doesn't convertSarah over to Christianity, I don't
know what will.
And before I send it back toyou guys, I do want to wish you all
a very happy and merryChristmas and Jewish Christmas, whatever
that is.
And you know what they say.
Tis the season to be merry.
So ignore your kids, getdrunk, ruin podcast, and do that
other thing I'm not allowed totalk about back to you guys.
Oh, my God.
(34:49):
Wow.
Okay, so funny thing happenedto me today when I went to go collect
all of the.
The things that I bought for Rachel.
So they were in my hiding place.
I've got all the packages, andwe start to open all of them because
I forgot what I got her.
And.
And, okay, this is stocking.
(35:10):
This is this and all that.
Okay, I can only wrap this one.
Okay, Abby, this one's safefor you to wrap.
So I come across and I'm like,wait a second.
When did I get her Star wars cards?
And then I looked, and it wasfrom my recent whatnot order that
just got put in.
(35:33):
I Hid that quickly because Idon't want my wife to know how much
I've spent on Chris's.
Scott bids up my auctions andends up winning most of them.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So this is what happens.
So if in.
In his whatnot, I'll go in there.
I don't really have anyinterest in bidding on some of the
stuff.
It.
(35:54):
Sometimes there's somethingthat I really want, but, like, it's.
I'm not a collector.
I don't need this stuff.
So if someone bids right away,I see that they're excited.
So then all bid, and I try todrive up the bids that Chris makes
more money, but I usuallydon't know when to stop, and I usually
end up winning the thing, so.
(36:16):
You're welcome, Chris.
So have you ever gottensomething for someone for Christmas
and you're not sure if they'regonna like it?
In fact, they probably don'teven know what it's gonna be.
So you have to kind of lay thegroundwork to get them excited about
it.
(36:36):
Oh, no.
Explain.
I'm intrigued.
Okay.
I'm very sorry.
A couple months ago, I found away to buy really inexpensive, like,
really severely discountedYoda lightsabers, like, from Galaxy's
Edge.
Like, the.
It's a very specific gift.
(36:56):
Yeah, the really nice, youknow, lightsabers that.
That Sarah And Lewis have 15of them.
So I got two of them becauseI'm like, okay, the most you could
buy was 2, and they were super cheap.
So I got one for me, and I gotone for my nephew.
Well, my nephew's never seenStar Wars.
(37:18):
Doesn't even know who Yoda is.
And so, like, I'm telling my sister.
I'm like, okay, well, it's May.
I'm telling you now, you havesix months to get him into Star Wars.
Okay.
Shouldn't be that hard.
It's on Disney.
Like, let's make it happen.
So they didn't.
And so, yeah, so they're allover at my house last night.
(37:39):
So I purposely set up my.
My lightsaber, and now I'maddicted, and I want more Sarah.
So the next time we go toHollywood studios, I'm gonna need
Yalls help.
Yeah.
And it's not 15.
It's like 20 something.
Right?
Right.
I didn't care until I put itall together and turned it on that
first time and swung itaround, and it was, you know, in
(38:02):
my mo.
So anyway, so is this alightsaber or a vibrator?
Sarah can be used for either, right?
No, but I Do like how you.
You chose the tiniest lightsaber.
More relatable, Sarah.
So I, I, It's.
(38:23):
It's set up in my movie room, right?
And it's on the stand, and I'mlike, you know, I'm calling my nephew
over.
I'm like, hey, buddy, youknow, I want to show you something.
And he's like, oh, what?
What?
And I said, well, you have tocome in the movie room.
And he's like, well, can weturn the light on?
I was like, no, no, you haveto keep the light off.
Which, like, my sister'shearing this, and she's like, that's
(38:44):
really creepy.
Please don't talk to him like that.
So I turn the lightsaber on,and he's like.
And his face lit up, and I'm like.
I'm like, do you want to hold it?
And so I'm letting him holdit, and he's like, this is really
cool.
I'm like, thank God.
So now he is.
He's prepped, he's ready, andnow I've got him excited about this
(39:06):
lightsaber.
So that's what I meant by.
Did you ever have to build agift up because you weren't sure
if someone was going to like it?
That's.
That's what I've been doing.
How so?
Well, I.
I can't say too much, but Itold you guys.
What, What?
We had the experience.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Exactly.
So I've just been talkingabout it and bringing it up in conversation.
(39:31):
Just.
Oh, check this out.
Oh, check this out.
There's something new or, youknow, whatever, and then excitement,
you know, from the other side.
And does anybody else remember?
Because she can't say it.
What was the experience this year?
I don't remember.
Last year was Puerto Rico.
It was some celebrity.
(39:52):
Oh, Megacon.
Comic Con.
Yep.
Yes.
Yes.
Thank you, Nick.
Yep.
Little ears right behind me.
I get.
I get it.
I get it.
I get it.
Okay.
Chris, have you ever had to lay.
Lay groundwork?
Yeah, you know what?
And I'm a.
I'm really bad at it.
Emily hates when I do this.
It's funny because I actually,I'm really.
(40:12):
I thought I was really good at it.
I am really good at it.
But so I used to do this allthe time.
I used to get Emily something,and then we'd be at a store.
This is when I used to shop,like, a month or two in advance,
and then we'd be at a store,and I'd, like, show her what I got
her, like, wow.
Isn't this nice?
(40:33):
Like, literally the same exact item.
And I remember, like, most ofthe time, she's like, oh, yeah, that's.
That's awesome.
I think one time she's.
She was like, that's okay.
And I just kind of, like,broke down.
Like, I actually.
I got you this for Christmas,So now I'm gonna have to return.
Return it.
Just return you.
Why would you even say something?
Just return it.
Maybe I told her afterChristmas, I don't know.
(40:54):
But Emily got so mad becausewe were just going to stores, and
I would just, like, randomlyask her if she liked something, and
she's like, you have to stopdoing this.
Like, this is.
This is not okay.
Yeah, I forgot.
I used to do that all the time.
And I thought I was, like,being real slick at it.
And I guess.
I guess what?
I never do that.
Except for once a year before Christmas.
(41:15):
It gets a little obvious.
We.
I have a bad habit of, like, Iwill say.
I'll mention.
Oh, you know, I really shouldhave asked for this.
I really wanted this.
And, like, the dead, you know,the deadline has already passed.
My shopping is already done.
And it happens with my mom alot where I'm like, oh, you know,
I should have asked for this,or I really wanted this, or whatever.
(41:36):
And she had already boughtthat exact item for me, and she's
like, you.
You ruin it.
Anyway, Nick, have you had tolay the groundwork for a gift?
You're not sure if someonewould like.
I feel like I have.
I just can't think of any specifically.
I just.
I know the one time that I gotSean a bidet for Christmas.
(41:59):
Oh, that was for you.
I mean, that's amazing for everybody.
That's for the whole family.
That's a great gift.
So I.
I bought this on Amazon, andit's like, 36 bucks on there.
It's really not a bad price.
It hooks right up to yourtoilet and everything.
You got tushy.
I don't.
It's not a brand name.
Some Chinese.
Some Chinese brand.
(42:20):
I want to get a new one forour basement now.
But he was so mad when heopened it.
He's like, why would I want this?
Like, trust me.
Trust me.
So I get it hooked up, like,five months later because I have
no time in my life.
So I finally got.
Had it hooked up, and this hasbeen a game changer.
We have the cleanest, gayestasses in the city now.
(42:46):
So sometimes it starts out asa bad present, but it ends up being
the best one.
Yeah, you Know, it's capes.
Come back for more.
That's a great.
I might do that for a whiteelephant this year.
I love white elephant.
I'll have to let you guys knowwhat, what, what we get on our white
(43:09):
elephant.
Oh, yeah, I.
I actually.
I wish I had the box with me.
Unless it's behind me.
I got a prank box for my whiteelephant gift.
So they.
They're gonna unwrap it.
And the box, it says, like,roto wiper.
And it's.
It looks like it's.
And it looks like super real.
And it looks like it's a.
It's a wheel that cleans,like, almost like a.
(43:30):
In a car wash that you hook upto your toilet that cleans your ass.
I have to send you guys a picture.
It's really funny.
That's funny.
So I did do that.
I paid an extra $5 for that.
So I knocked $5 off the whiteelephant gift that I bought because
I stick to the budget.
Nice.
Chris, you got any Cliff Notes?
I do.
I actually have something alittle bit more special this week.
(43:53):
I do have two Cliff Notes, andthen I have something special.
It's been quite the show.
A lot of stuff's happened, sonothing can stop.
Stop this little boy fromrecapping the day the Chris's Cliffs
Notes way.
So I started off talking abouthow I was denied service liquor store
because I didn't have my id.
(44:14):
This is almost the completeopposite to when Scott is denied
entry at a school for showinghis id.
Scott told us a story abouthow he showed his nephew a lightsaber
to get him excited about it.
Never had a doubt, Scott,because you have a long history of
showing your lightsaber tochildren in dark rooms.
(44:34):
And instead of more CliffNotes, I actually have a little something
special for the.
For the season.
Twas the night beforeChristmas when all through the house,
not a child was stirring, noteven the one trapped in Scott's basement.
Sean was hung by the chimneywith care in hopes that St.
Nick from Sandpiper soon wouldbe there.
(44:57):
The dogs were all nestled allsnug in Scott's bed.
While Scott had visions ofmilk boners in his head and mama
in her noise cancelingheadphones and Scott in his dog looking
for his Vaseline to crank onhis hog.
When out on the lawn therearose such a clatter, Scott sprung
from his bed to make sure itwasn't a minority.
(45:18):
With a ladder away to thewindow he flew like a flash blue
balling his dog disrobed andbare ass when what to his wondering
eyes did appear But a hung manoutside who identifies queer with
a large package.
He knew of his shtick.
He knew in a moment he must be Nick.
(45:40):
As Scott drew out his head andwas turning around down the chimney.
Nick came with a bound.
Actually, he did not come witha bound yet he spoke not a word but
went straight to his work.
I'm sorry.
He spoke not a word but wentgay to his work.
He took a hit of his weed penthen turned to give a jerk and laying
his finger on side of his nosehe started sniffing cocaine.
(46:01):
He started snorting cocaine asa sniffing a rose.
But I heard him exclaim whenhe drove out of sight.
Happy Christmas to all.
Unless you voted right.
Bravo.
That was really good.
Yeah, thank you.
Really good.
I thought of that halfwaythrough the episode.
(46:23):
Just started writing.
That was brilliant.
That was brilliant.
I love that.
I love that.
A little special.
Yeah.
Well, we usually go around theroom and we talk about what everybody's
got coming up.
But it's Christmas.
It's.
It's the holiday season.
I don't know that we're goingto do an episode next year, so.
Or next year.
Next week.
Or we're gonna take off forthe year back in 26.
(46:46):
Yeah.
I don't know.
Summer.
I don't know that we're gonna do.
Wow.
We may take next week off withit being the week in between Christmas
and New Year.
So we may take a week off.
So we may not be here.
Oh.
But we have to record thefollowing Monday because it's a very
special holiday.
It is a very special holiday.
So we will have to record onJanuary 6th.
(47:07):
Absolutely.
Three Kings Day.
Oh, yeah, of course.
And it's also the Hunchbox.
The Hunchbox.
The Hunchbox birthday or something.
Is it really?
No.
The Hunchbox birthday.
I don't think my mother inlaw's birthday is until February
holiday.
The holiday that's celebratedin the movie.
(47:29):
Oh, the holiday.
Okay, my bad.
Chris, you can't say thatstuff about your mother in law.
She listens to the podcast.
Just typical mother in law jokes.
You know what's funny is mymother in law, when she's down, she's
like, you know, for somereason I can't listen to your podcasts
and candidates.
It's.
I'm restricted.
And I said, well, that'sprobably good.
(47:50):
Don't listen.
That's right.
When they become the 51ststate, they'll be able to listen.
I'm like, you know What?
There are 7.2 billion peopleon this planet.
All of them can listen to itexcept for you.
You are the one person on thisplanet that I do not want to listen
to this podcast.
There's two but anyway.
(48:13):
Alex, where can our listenersfind you?
Disney Verse baby.
D I Z N E Y V E R S E and allsocial media platform as well as
YouTube.
Join us the first Thursday ofthe month and we'll be doing a live
episode on YouTube.
It is going to be game masterRyan hosting a game on Disney Verse.
So I'm gonna check that out.
(48:34):
Nick, you can find me atEmotional supports gaynick on Instagram
and all social media platformsat sandpipervacations.
Sarah, you can find me on theInstagram and whatnot at Old Solter.
Chris, you can find me onInstagram and whatnot at Chris Yop.
And you can connect with allof us on our social media links right
(48:55):
there on our website.
No new friends podcast.comwhile you're there check out our
really sweet merchandise.
Also join our clubhouse becomea friend with benefits for as low
as $2 a month.
You get exclusive content,early release, cutting room floor,
entering to win some prizes.
It's a super fun time.
Plus join our free public Discord.
Just go to our website website.
It's a little pop up ad andjoin our Discord.
(49:16):
We'd love to interact with you.
We'd love to start talkingmore on Discord.
Our Discord is is deader thanmy dogs right now.
Oh.
Anyway, but check us out on YouTube.
We're there every Monday andif you listen to us on Spotify or
Apple or anywhere where youcan give us give us a rating, please
leave us a five star ratingand review really helps us out.
We love that kind of stuff.
(49:37):
On behalf of game master Ryan,Giles, Gyles Jarman, our producer,
Alex Darren.
Dot com.
Nick, Sarah, Chris.
I'm Scott.
Merry Christmas.
Happy holidays.
Happy Hanukkah, Kwanzaa.
Thank you so much for listening.
We'll see you next time.
See you later.
(49:57):
Poopy Bus.
No new friends.
Just the old and the B.
Scott, Chris, Sarah.
A naked tale to be told.
Welcome to the podcast whereadulting unfolds.
We're adulting unfolds we'readulting unfolds.
Disney vacations.
All inclusive resorts, cruisesand family trips to Idaho.
Travel to your favorite placeand have a celebration.
Sandpiper Vacations.
Broadcasting from theSandpiper Vacation Studio.
Welcome to Parents Night outwith no New Friends.
(00:23):
The comedy break every parent deserves.
This is the podcast whereparenting meets pure unfiltered fun.
Real raw hilarity.
It's your night out withoutthe kids, where nothing is off limits.
And we say what everybody elseis thinking.
(00:43):
Whether you're a parent orjust need a good laugh.
We've got the adult humor you crave.
So kick back, relax and getready to let loose with us.
This is Parents Night out withno New Friends.
Tuck your kids into bed, paythe babysitter a little bit extra.
(01:06):
It's time for Parents Nightout with no New Friends.
There are so many great waysto connect with us.
Just check out our website, nonew friends, podcast.com.
all of our links are right there.
While you're there, check outour really sweet merchandise and
also join our clubhouse.
Become a friend with benefitsfor as low as $2 a month and get
all sorts of exclusive content.
Cutting room floor, earlyrelease on the episodes, and so much
(01:27):
more.
We are recording live everysingle Monday at about 8, 8:30pm
Eastern Standard Time on the YouTube.
So check us and also follow uson the TikTok heparks with no new
friends.
My name is Scott.
I'm the host with.
With me, as always, my amazingcast of characters, the scumbag reselling
hoarder himself, Chris.
Happy Kwanzaa, everyone.
(01:48):
It's our favorite time of the year.
The Jewish American princess, Sarah.
Hello.
Our emotional support, gayNick, Felice Navidad and our producer,
Alex.
Life is short.
Well, Merry Christmas, everybody.
Happy Hanukkah for us.
This is Christmas Eve Eve,December 23rd.
Christmas Eve Eve.
(02:08):
It is Christmas Eve Eve forthe rest of the world.
It's Sunday after Christmas.
So you're getting ready forNew Year's.
You're.
I don't know what you'redoing, but it's not Christmas anymore
if you're hearing this now.
Anyway, so speaking ofChristmas, I finished my Christmas
shopping today.
December 23rd.
(02:28):
Wow.
Yes, I did too, I think.
Yeah, I'm very last minute.
I went to Walmart.
I went to Walmart today too, actually.
It was Chris.
It was awful.
I went to Target first, butlike, I couldn't find a parking spot
so I drove to Walmart, whichwas fine because I wanted to listen
to more of the Wicked soundtrack.
So, like, it worked out there.
(02:48):
You got that?
Yeah, but.
And not the porn, Chris.
The.
The movie.
I was gonna say I don't watchthat in public usually, but it was.
It was awful.
It was terrible.
But I learned that my daughterAbby is the best shopping buddy because
(03:09):
all I needed to get today wasstocking stuffers for Rachel.
That was it.
And she knew exactly what to get.
It was fantastic.
Sarah, I feel like you weregonna say something.
You're not finished yet, are you?
No, I still have stuff comingin tomorrow, and then I have to pick
up two more things.
Tomorrow?
You know tomorrow is Christmas Eve.
Yeah, but I checked.
The places are open at leastfor enough time for me to be able
(03:33):
to get what I need.
Okay, I think you have us beatwith the procrast.
Procrastination?
Yeah, because I got myChristmas tree two days ago, actually.
Listen, wait, wait.
You're like in the movies.
Hold on, hold on.
I watch these movies wherethey're decorating the tree on Christmas
Eve and I'm like, that's not realistic.
People have their trees uplike after Thanksgiving and walk.
(03:56):
Sarah.
Sarah's like, hold my man of Shavitz.
Maybe that's what was involved.
But we spoke about the wholeCEO thing.
Okay.
And I, you know, with.
With the death of.
Of the CEO and.
And whatnot.
And I.
I spoke about the GoodwillCEO, and I'm wondering if something
(04:17):
happened now because theprices have kind of lowered.
So I walked into the Goodwilljust manifesting a Christmas tree
because I'd seen them and they did.
They had beautiful Christmas trees.
And I walk in and it's Thriftmas.
And it started that day and itwas 50 off.
(04:39):
So I got a seven and a halffoot pre lit tree that has all these
different Funky settings for $40.
Wow.
Wow.
And the lights still work on it.
Every.
Yes, every one of them.
I am so satisfied.
It looks beautiful.
I feel Christmassy.
(05:00):
I feel pride as a Jew becauseI got it at a discount.
So I just.
Yeah, and I'm really bad atgift giving, so I started looking
for things like three days ago.
Realistically.
Yeah.
(05:20):
I went to five below yesterdayand was like, shoulder to shoulder
with everybody.
You are Jewish, aren't you?
Five below for Christmas shop.
That was stocking stuffers.
Okay?
Stocking stuffers.
Okay.
And I still spent a hundreddollars on stocking stuffers.
So let's be fair.
I.
I still went a little crazy.
Because in your head,everything doesn't add up the way
it does until you get to the register.
(05:40):
Correct.
Especially on Amazon.
Well, that one says it rightthere in your card.
Yeah, but I'm not payingattention to that.
No, that's called dyslexia.
Well, I am.
When I check out, it's different.
When you just stood in linefor 20 minutes and then you get there
with a cart full of stuff, and.
You'Re like, I just want toget out of here.
You already see the pile ofstuff behind the register that people
are like, oh, maybe I don'twant this.
(06:02):
And I'm like, I don't want toadd to that.
Nope.
My anxiety won't allow me todo that.
Just.
I'll take everything.
Yeah, it.
Okay.
I guess it's a problem whenI'm in the checkout line and my daughter
looks at me and she's like,well, that wasn't as bad as last
year.
And.
And just sees the price and.
And it's terrible.
Well, I see it in.
(06:25):
In increments, you know?
Right.
So because of Klarna?
Well, not this year, actually.
Last year a little bit.
Yeah.
Not gonna lie.
I was gonna say I see pricesin increments as well, but, you know.
You spend like a couplehundred here, a couple hundred there,
you're like, oh, that wasn'tthat bad.
(06:45):
And then you're like, oh, my God.
Where's.
Where's my bank account?
Yeah.
When you see the bank account.
Yeah, yeah.
You get the email saying yourbalance is below a hundred dollars.
Right.
Right in there.
Like, wait, how did thathappen, Chris?
How last minute are you.
You.
You're.
You're done, right?
No.
So I have.
I like to tell myself that I'mbetter under pressure, and I wait
(07:09):
to the last week.
Yeah.
Okay, so.
And I get really good giftsbecause I don't overthink things.
Right.
So for Emily, I ordered hersomething on Thursday and had to
pay 18 extra dollars forexpress shipping for it to get here.
So sometimes it does not work out.
But anyway, before I go onwith this story, how old do you guys
(07:30):
think I look?
Just give me a range.
Just like you don't think hardabout it.
Just give me a range.
Early twenties?
Mid twenties.
Mid.
Okay, mid thirties.
Perfect.
Okay, perfect.
I am procrastinating by force.
I have to go and do the restof my shopping tomorrow.
(07:52):
So I did the grocery shoppingat Walmart for Christmas day stuff.
Then I went across the streetto the liquor store, and I was in
there for a half hour gettingall the rest of the stuff.
I got the Santa's LittleHelper wines for my neighbors.
I like to drop them off at the door.
Okay, great Christmas gift.
Then I.
(08:12):
Emily gave Me a recipe forChristmas margaritas, which we're
gonna make tomorrow night.
It's cranberry juice, limejuice, triple sec.
Went to the triple secsection, nothing was there.
I go up and ask the personthat works there.
She says, oh, it's this aisle.
I go there, it's not there.
So this is what's taking me so long.
They just a very unorganizedliquor store.
(08:35):
So I finally found it, and Ikid you not, 25, 30 minutes later,
so I have it on my basket.
I go up, she rings me up, it's $80.
I swipe my card and she goes,oh, I forgot to ID you.
And I was.
You serious?
I was like, I literally paid.
Like, she was printing out my receipt.
And then I go to get mywallet, and my wallet's not in my
(08:55):
pocket.
So I was like, okay, it's inthe car because I took it out to
pay for something at Walmart.
So I was like, I'll be rightback today.
I'll just put it to the sidefor you.
Okay.
I go in my car.
Not there.
So I go back in and she's.
Oh, did you not find it, like,real, like, real cheerful, like she's
just gonna let me go Anyway, Iwas like, yeah, it's.
She goes, okay, well, justswipe your cardigan.
I'll return all this for you.
(09:20):
So I had to wait in line againbecause busy.
It's.
It's two days before Christmas.
And she sure as she scannedeverything back and made me return
all of the alcohol.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
Never.
I.
I always thought the ID thingwas just like, yeah, just show me
your id.
This lady was all business.
(09:40):
I like looking at her, like,full beard and like, limping.
She had a beard or.
You.
Worked at Walmart, Nick?
Of course she did.
And no, our Walmart's don'tsell alcohol.
I wish they did.
So, yeah, so now I have to goto a liquor store on Christmas Eve
shirt.
Won't be busy on Christmas Eve.
(10:00):
Nobody gets alcohol onChristmas Eve.
Nop.
And yeah, and then I was.
I had to get lottery ticketsthere too.
My mom just texted me, hey,get the lottery ticket.
I was like, actually, I didn't.
I was going to until I wasrefused service at the counter.
Yeah.
So first.
First time that ever happened.
Unbelievable.
And it was one of those, like,rinky dink alcohol or liquor stores
that have no businessfollowing any laws.
(10:23):
Wow.
They're the ones that getaudited all the time by the, the,
the, the.
The tobacco and whateverbureau you.
This, this should Be a lessonto you though, because you're all
like, oh, you know, I've gotmy credit card on my phone.
I just do Apple Pay.
You know, it's so easy.
It's so easy, you know, justApple Pay.
(10:43):
I never forget my wallet.
I never forget my id becauseit's all with me.
It's all with me.
I've got my cards to pay for,to pay with, stuff to pay.
You know why I forgot it, Scott?
Why?
It's right here.
Because I was online shoppingfor Christmas presents before I.
Before I left.
That's funny.
Well, now we have like digitalIDs too, that you can get through
(11:06):
the airport.
I have seen that.
Yeah.
That may be the fulltransition for me.
I don't know.
So you won't be allowed to dothat after January.
That's true, that's true.
No transitioning here in Florida.
So in addition to my daughterbeing a great shopping buddy, she
was like super excited to wrappresents with me.
And you know, my wife has hadeverybody else's done.
(11:29):
Like, I'm talking everybody else.
My stuff, Darren's stuff,Mikayla's stuff, Abby's stuff, my
parents, my extended family,Everything's been wrapped for weeks
because that's just whatRachel does.
And, like, if she boughtsomething else, she wraps it immediately.
I typically wait tillChristmas Eve.
And when I say I typicallywait to wrap on Christmas Eve, I
(11:49):
typically wait and then haveMikayla wrap everything on Christmas
Eve.
Because I am not like, I amthat typical dude rapping things.
It's all a mess.
It's a straight white male.
Exactly.
Yeah, I think it fits to that.
I'm a straight white male andI love wrapping gifts.
I take my time.
My wife thinks I take too much time.
But, you know, you gotta beparticular if you want it to look
(12:10):
really nice.
So Abby's like, super excited.
I'm like, this is fantastic.
Like, I've got her, got herdoing this.
So she informs me as we getstarted that she doesn't know how
to rap.
And I'm like, oh, and I'mgoing to be the one to teach you.
Okay, here we go.
Within two presents, she was a pro.
And like, she's telling melike, hey, your side's uneven there.
(12:30):
Like, she's coaching me.
But I have a new partner incrime when it comes to rapping.
It's amazing.
But Sarah, I'm with you.
I'm the worst gift giver ever.
I like, I'm terrible at it.
I hate Christmas from theaspect of I have to find Stuff for
my wife.
So let's.
Let's go over her top giftsthis year.
Okay.
The record player, that's.
That's the number one.
(12:50):
But she already knows about itbecause it said it on the box.
I had that same issue.
Yep.
I got her a shirt that has apossum on it.
And the possum is like.
And it says, first of all, I'ma delight.
And then I have a snoring problem.
(13:12):
I snore at night and she hasto wake me up to turn so that I stop
snoring so that she can goback to sleep.
Well, I get woken up and it'ssuper annoying.
So I bought her one of those,like, sleep headphone headband things.
Like, it's like the headbandthat has Bluetooth speakers in it
so that she doesn't hear mesnoring so that I can stay asleep
(13:32):
at night.
So we'll see.
We'll see.
So this all benefits you?
Correct.
That's what I was gonna say.
Yes.
It'll help me.
I'm the worst gift giver ever.
I got her this.
It's a charging stand, youknow, with a built in charger.
But I realized she doesn'thave this, like, she doesn't have
(13:54):
the magsafe thing or whateveron the back.
So she's not gonna be able tocharge it.
It's just gonna be.
That's a sweet gift.
Yeah, great gift.
Great gift.
I'm just terrible at this stuff.
So, Nick, you had Santa Clauscome down your.
Your street?
We did.
He.
So you guys talked about itlast week, about how Santa rides
(14:15):
around on like a fire truck oryou guys have a flatbed or something
in Florida?
Yeah.
Yeah.
He came around ourneighborhood, say, tractor, hey,
come around our neighborhood.
And I slept through it, so Imissed it.
So there's literally alarms.
There's literally fire trucksgoing apparently down our street.
And I missed it, so didn't getto see it and.
(14:37):
Sounds like New Jersey.
Nick, to be completely honestwith you, just like, just turns into
white noise.
Yeah.
I was gonna ask if Scott gotyou a pair of those headphones too.
No.
Listen to sirens all day.
It's probably from all theweed you just pass out, right?
I just.
I needed a nap.
(14:57):
Yeah.
So unfortunately we missed it.
I didn't even tell Piper aboutit ahead of time, so she's like,
it's okay.
She's all good.
She saw him on tv, so.
I feel like it's different, though.
On tv?
No, because the one that comesaround in the neighborhood is like,
they're on a fire truck, andthe guy is obviously wearing the
fakest beard ever.
(15:18):
Yeah.
So it's not even, like, a good one.
Well, yeah, but he's afirefighter, so he's hot underneath
the beard.
Firefighters aren't hot.
Not where I live.
Yeah, it's.
It's not a great.
Not a great area town to.
For that.
Yeah.
So I missed it.
But I did see a sexy Santalast week.
(15:42):
Oh, that I want to talk about.
Yes, please.
So last Wednesday, I had anight out on the town with my husband.
We had a date night, but wewent out for my cousin's birthday.
And.
Yes, Scott, this is the hot cousin.
I was just gonna ask.
The hot one.
Yeah, yeah.
So we.
We went out for her birthday a few.
A few weeks early.
But there is an all malereview here, which is strippers.
(16:08):
Male strippers.
And they were doing a magicMike show at the mall.
Oh, at the mall, at the mall.
And by at the mall, I mean, itwas actually a speakeasy inside of
a bar there or a restaurant.
So you go back into thiskitchen and you walk through their
cooler, and that takes youupstairs to the speakeasy, which
was weird.
(16:28):
Yeah.
I feel like that's like thestart of a murder movie taking place
in New Jersey.
I.
I would have let these guysmurder me.
So here's what had happened.
So it's basically us two gayguys and, like, 60 girls in this
room.
Then there was another gaycouple at our table, too, so there
(16:48):
really was no men there.
And the guy comes out, andhe's trying to act like he is.
What's his name?
Matthew McConaughey.
Yeah.
All right, all right, all right.
He's trying to act like he'sthat, but when you look at this guy,
you just know he's on aregistry somewhere.
Okay.
Not a lot near women.
You know, he's probably gropeda lot of women.
(17:10):
So he.
He was an interestingcharacter that was hosting the show.
But there was four malestrippers that came out.
The first thing they did was asexy Santa dance wearing the scream
mask but doing it.
Doing it to the mean girls.
Jingle bell rock song.
(17:31):
But what.
Why the scream masks?
I.
I don't know what was.
There's no gay guys there.
I'll let you know that.
Okay.
None of the strippers were gay.
I was surprised because Seanand I walk in, we're like, we're
probably gonna know them all.
All of our friends have neverbeen to, like, a strip show before,
and Sean and I are like, themost comfortable in there.
We're like, this is, is atypical Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday,
(17:52):
Thursday, typical night atChris's house.
Like, yeah, I don't, I don'tknow what's with the creepy masks
that they had on for sexySanta outfits.
But I still turned on.
I thought all male stripperswere gay though.
So here's the thing.
One of them was homophobic.
(18:12):
Gonna call him out.
Really don't know his name.
So the, the guy that hostedthe show, he kind of was going around
on the microphone beforeeverything and he's like, oh, we
have some guys in the audience.
He's like, I love seeing thatwe have guys here.
He's like, honestly, we wentto some other shows to like try to
get some ideas of what theywanted to do and they didn't let
them go watch the show becausethey were men and saying that it's
(18:35):
only women's shows.
Which is weird because I'mlike, don't a lot of women go to
female strip clubs?
Uh huh.
Scott would know.
That's a very quick yes, sir.
Scott.
So yeah, so he was really coolwith it and stuff.
And like I decided to have funand throw some dollar bills up to
see if they would come overand give me a little dance or two.
(18:58):
The one guy completely ignoredme all night long, really.
But he also looks like hedidn't want to be there.
He was chewing gum the whole time.
Like it was just very awkward.
But the other ones like comeover and they were having a great
time with us, but clearlysuper straight by the way they danced.
Yeah.
I even mentioned that I wantedto defy gravity with them and they
(19:21):
didn't even, they even knowwhat that meant.
So clearly straight.
Nick's like, are you teamgreen or team Pink?
And they're like, what are youtalking about?
Chris and Sarah are also like,what are you talking about?
Yeah, that much I know.
At least you still haven'tseen it.
(19:41):
No, sorry guys, can't with you.
I'm just gonna send you guyslike every single meme and reel that
has to do with.
So you can just forward them when.
I send it to you because Ifeel like I'm sending you every single
wicked reel that comes up onmy feed.
Perfect.
My poor husband tells me allthe time about the ones that I already
(20:04):
haven't watched of his.
And then I reference somethingthat one of the girls sent me today
and she went to look and she'slike, there's like a lot of unseen
tiktoks.
So join the club.
It'll be in that mix.
That's basically all I hadwith the strippers.
I mean, we.
(20:24):
We had a good time.
It was a Wednesday night, sowe were home by 10 o'clock, which
was great.
Nice.
Not mad about it, but I dowant to bring up something else that
came up.
So obviously I got excitedthat night.
Speaking of things that cameup that night.
So I decided on Friday night,I was gonna get a hotel room here
(20:46):
in.
In Columbus.
Really?
So I have points.
It's the end of the year.
All my friends in the travelindustry are doing the same thing.
We're all trying to get ourpoints to get, like, our flight statuses.
And I have points that I needto get for Southwest Airlines so
I can get companion pass again.
And if you understandcompanion pass, it basically means
I can fly one other personwith me for free for the next year.
(21:07):
Oh, nice.
And I've had it for the lasttwo years now, and it's sa like,
a ton of money.
So I look up and I can.
I can get a hotel room in Columbus.
And it gives me, like, 11, 000bonus points.
I'm like.
Because they're not bookinghotel rooms in Columbus.
It was because it was a bigfootball game.
Apparently the next day, some.
Something happened where therewas Buckeyes and an orange team that
(21:30):
people didn't like.
I didn't watch it.
Okay.
Ohio State 1.
I know.
Oh, good.
Yeah.
Glad to hear that, guys.
So I got a hotel room.
Sean stayed home.
It was super nice to just,like, get out of the house and, like,
kind of clear my mind.
It's been crazy busy witheverything and got a hotel to myself
(21:51):
for the night.
So I had this brilliant idea.
I'm like, I have the night to myself.
I'm just gonna pop a gummy,like, try to invite a guide over
so I can have a little bit of,like, alone time with another male.
And the gummy hit really,really hard to the point that I had
to cancel my blow job.
(22:14):
Wow.
Nothing worse than canceling ablow job.
Scott's like, let's go back.
How do you schedule one of those?
You have to sign up on mycalendar, go on my link tree.
(22:34):
I'm sorry, Nick.
That.
That's.
That's rough for you.
Yeah, it was.
It was a little rough night.
It was.
But you know what?
I was.
I was okay with it.
I'm like, I.
I had fun just checking out, vibing.
I was texting with somefriends that night, probably sending
you guys reels and all that, so.
Nice.
So, yeah, I got blue balls nowfor Christmas.
(22:59):
Sorry to hear that, Nick.
Yeah.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
So, you know, obviously, lastweek was my birthday, and, you know,
I do.
I do this other podcast withDane and.
And Sophisticated Gentlemenevery once in a while.
It's called Creators United, and.
And they.
They put together a birthdayepisode for me, which I thought was
(23:20):
really, really cool.
And you guys know I'm a hugeIndiana Jones fan.
Huge fan of the.
The stunt show.
You haven't mentioned anything.
Oh, okay.
Well, I'm a huge fan of theIndiana Jones epic stunt show at.
At Hollywood Studios.
And they surprised me.
We had a guest interview, andit was the.
(23:41):
The Kevin Broussard, who.
Who was the original IndianaJones stuntman from the stunt show.
So super cool interview.
I had so much fun.
It was definitely a thrill for me.
It.
It ranks up there with theexcitement that I had interviewing
Carlos Navarro and Jeremy Miller.
So it was super fun.
But Dane has given mepermission that once it gets uploaded
(24:04):
on the Creators United, I canalso put it up as an episode on Parents
Night out at some point.
So you'll get to hear thatepisode or you can hear it now on
Creators United, and I'llprobably put the video for Patreon
only.
So it's super fun interview.
I loved it.
I had so much fun.
That sounds awesome.
Did you tell him that youstalked the entire show?
He figured that out.
(24:25):
He figured, like, did you ask,like, the questions, like, the security
know that you're literallylurking over bushes?
I didn't tell him all that.
Well, I did tell him that as akid, I would go see three shows per
day.
The.
The first one that.
Three times, actually.
The first show, the.
(24:46):
The.
I would eat at Backlot Expressso I could see through the gate.
And then the.
The nighttime show, I think herealized that I have a problem when
I knew which stunt people saidwhich lines and.
And the different things thatthey say.
And I'm quoting things like,at one point, you know, we were talking
about how, you know, he got tomeet Harrison Ford at the.
(25:10):
At the premiere for Dial ofDestiny, and I.
I was like, hey, Dane, do youknow the difference between Harrison
Ford and Kevin Broussard?
And he's like, no, I don't.
I was like, about $200million, which is a line from the
stunt show.
And, yeah, and I did.
I did a couple of those.
I dropped a couple ofdifferent lines from the show.
(25:30):
And, yeah, I think he's worried.
I think that he.
At one point, like, I.
I.
You know, when someone takes A screenshot.
You can hear the littleshutter that.
I think he took a screenshotto the.
They can put me in the breakroom and warn everybody about me
because it was.
It was scary.
But, no, super.
Just.
What a.
What a great guy.
(25:51):
And, Chris, you got to see the interview.
It was great.
It was really cool.
Yeah, you were salivating.
Yeah, I was.
I was.
And I definitely have a bookthat now that pictures are stuck
together anyway.
Wow.
But no, he was super nice,super chill.
And, you know, sometimes whenyou meet people in entertainment,
(26:12):
they.
They don't.
They're not necessarily proudof the role that they play, and it's
like an inconvenience for themto be doing, like, interviews and
to be asked questions about itand all that.
No, he's.
He's so in.
He's so in love with the rolesthat he's gotten to play.
And, you know, he doesn't playindie anymore, but he trains the
new indies, and he said that'shis passion.
He loves doing that.
And it was just.
It was just really cool.
It was a really cool interview.
(26:34):
I'm a big fan of him,obviously, and then the show as a
whole.
So it was fun.
It was a fun interview.
So make sure you check that out.
Okay, let's.
Let's check in with Giles Garmin.
Giles Jarman.
Giles Jarman.
Giles Jarman.
Giles.
Let's check in with Giles Jarman.
(26:59):
And now it's time for themore, you know.
And here's your host, Giles Garmin.
Hello there.
Giles Garmin here, letting youknow that on the next episode of
into the Disney Vest, you canhear all about the history behind
who Framed Roger Rabbit.
(27:20):
It's actually one of our mostintellectual episodes ever because
we're missing a specialsomebody from North Carolina on the
episode.
The character of Roger Rabbitis very out there, very manic, always
entirely unexpected, and hatesit when other people are playing
Patty cake.
So as you might expect,somebody that, you know, somebody
that's been embroiled in quitea bit of controversy was originally
(27:42):
attempting to play him in the film.
Yes, a very special host fromthe Arkham Asylum comics.
Of course.
As a reminder, you can checkout new episodes of into the Disney
Verse on all streaming services.
New episodes drop on Monday.
That's a Disney verse.
D I, Z any Y, V, E R S E.
And that's all from me.
Giles Garmin.
(28:03):
Yeah, Eddie Deezen.
I messaged him during theshow, and I said, is it true that
you were considered for bothRoger Rabbit and Judge Doom?
You know, we were doing A showabout you.
Said you'd be a great Roger Rabbit.
Thought it'd be cool to gethis input.
It turned out to be super depressing.
He messaged back.
He said, yes, this was mydream role.
And it crushed me when Ididn't get it.
Oh.
I was like.
(28:23):
I said, happy Hanukkah.
You know, he unfriended me.
Did he?
Yeah.
Because last night was our.
Oh, yeah, your.
Your night.
Polar Express night.
And I.
I went to go message him justto see how he was doing and let him
(28:44):
know that, like, you know,we're doing the Polar Express sleepover.
And, yeah, he.
He unfriended me.
That's really depressing.
And I don't know if it'sbecause he's got so many.
He's got, you know, over.
He's got 5,000.
So.
Yeah.
So someone else can't make the cut.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I guess it was me thatcouldn't make the cut.
So I was very sad.
Very sad.
(29:04):
But it is what it is.
If you need to talk to him,let me know.
I'll message him for you.
So you're.
So he's.
You're still friends on Facebook?
Oh, yeah.
He comments on all my stuff.
Like, he's best friends with me.
Like, he even wishes myparents a happy anniversary.
Can you ask him if, like, Idid something wrong?
Did I upset him?
Maybe he thought you were.
(29:24):
I was you.
And when I brought up somehorrible things from his past about
Roger Rabbit.
So he.
So he was taking the RogerRabbit thing out on me?
I.
I would assume so.
Maybe he's trying to hurt.
Hurt you.
To hurt me.
I think that's probably 40 chess.
Because I was like, oh, I'mfriends with the.
(29:45):
The nerdy kid on Polar Expresson Facebook.
I was gonna show the kidsagain, you know.
No, he could have called.
He deleted me, too.
What?
Let me make sure I'm stillfriends with him.
I just messaged him the other day.
Maybe that really set him off.
Wow.
I'll confirm.
Yeah, no, he's my friend.
Oh, no, we're not friends anymore.
(30:06):
We're friends.
Wow.
So three hours Christmas shopping.
I know it's Walmart, but Ireally need to get something that
I couldn't find anywhere else.
Here I am with a very niceemployee there.
Well, you can still see hisstuff, though.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's public.
It's so weird.
He, like, most of the timewhen you're a celebrity, people want
(30:28):
to take pictures with you, andhe's just out there taking pictures
with Random people and puttingit on his Facebook.
Yeah, but you know what?
That probably makes them feelreally good.
Like, hey, you know, here'sEddie Deason saying, hey, can I take
a picture with you?
Like that's a cool thing forthem, you know?
I guess.
Does he only wear plaid shirts?
(30:49):
Yes.
Yes.
Plaid shirts.
You guys ready to play Jersey Man?
Florida man.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yes.
Where the Flipping a fan,Motor crash in a truck.
These states are filled withpeople who suck.
So it's time for us to playNew Jersey man versus Florida man.
(31:11):
Everywhere.
Week Game master Ryan bringsus two news stories.
One is from Jersey, one isfrom Florida.
It's up to us to determinewhich one is which.
Take it away, Ryan.
Hey, guys, this is Ryan, yourin the field news reporter for the
Parents Night out news team.
And I am reporting to you livefrom a mall.
We received reports that allthe children in the mall had to be
evacuated so a bald man couldsit and talk to the Santa.
(31:32):
So we rushed over to get thescoop on what the Parents Night out
team asked for for Christmas.
So I have everybody's listhere, so let's start going through
them.
I love this.
Let's start with Nick.
Nick asked for drugs, poppers,alcohol, and for Maddie to do more
than five hours of work a week.
Let's move on to Sarah.
Actually, Sarah, why don't youread your list?
(31:54):
You keep laughing at thatjoke, I'll keep doing it.
Sarah said for JewishChristmas that she wants a lot of
green things.
Money, weed, and a green cardfor Lewis so their marriage will
actually be official.
And one last thing she askedfor was a computer that the goddamn
webcam actually works on.
Moving on to Chris.
Chris asked for the normalvideo games, Pokemon cards.
(32:16):
Oh, here's a new one.
He asked for Ozempic.
And mostly that he would keepall his toes this year before the
sugar got to them.
Oh, my God.
This year he asked for a morelively pet.
Have you tried hermit crabs?
At least you can cook those upwhen they die.
He asked for his secondtesticle to finally show up.
I'm pretty sure Rachel's gotdibs on that.
Wants a matching pair.
And Scott also asked for a sonthat he can be proud of.
(32:39):
Man.
Sorry, Darren.
Speaking of Darren, we have ashort list from him, too.
He's looking for a bulletproofvest and a father that he can be
proud of.
All right, the shots fired.
Wait, we have Sean's list.
Sean wished that Tiny Tim fromA Christmas Carol had survived to
adulthood so he could quote,plow that ass that's disturbing.
Anyways, before this getsworse, let's get into our Florida
(33:01):
man and Jersey man stories.
And for our first story, a manfires shots after getting agitated
by a Christmas parade.
And for our second story, aman plotted to kidnap his ex girlfriend
on Christmas day.
Okay, Nick, what do you think?
Why do these all sound like Scott?
I feel like the Christmasparade would be Florida.
(33:23):
I just feel like there's lotsof parades down there.
Okay, Sarah, I haven't seenone parade yet, so I'm gonna go opposite
New Jersey Chris.
I'm with Sarah on this one, actually.
And I'm gonna stick with Nick.
I think parade Florida.
All right, let's find out the answer.
So our first story is fromFlorida, where a man was arrested
(33:43):
after he allegedly fired offseveral shots during a neighborhood
Christmas parade because hebecame agitated at what the paradegoers
were doing.
Maybe he's just protecting his property.
Santa did break into his houselast year and eat some of his cookies.
So that means.
Our second story is from NewJersey, where a man who is accused
of stalking his ex girlfriendallegedly concocted a plan to kidnap
her on Christmas Day.
(34:04):
According to police, the manwas found with a stash of items such
as a satellite cell phone,guns, knives, handcuffs, all in his
rental car.
Police were tipped off on this.
When for Christmas, the manasked for a satellite cell phone,
guns, knives, handcuffs, and arental car.
And in other news, in SanBernardino, a mother is arrested
for using a giant marijuanaplant as a Christmas tree.
(34:26):
Now, if this doesn't convertSarah over to Christianity, I don't
know what will.
And before I send it back toyou guys, I do want to wish you all
a very happy and merryChristmas and Jewish Christmas, whatever
that is.
And you know what they say.
Tis the season to be merry.
So ignore your kids, getdrunk, ruin podcast, and do that
other thing I'm not allowed totalk about back to you guys.
Oh, my God.
(34:49):
Wow.
Okay, so funny thing happenedto me today when I went to go collect
all of the.
The things that I bought for Rachel.
So they were in my hiding place.
I've got all the packages, andwe start to open all of them because
I forgot what I got her.
And.
And, okay, this is stocking.
(35:10):
This is this and all that.
Okay, I can only wrap this one.
Okay, Abby, this one's safefor you to wrap.
So I come across and I'm like,wait a second.
When did I get her Star wars cards?
And then I looked, and it wasfrom my recent whatnot order that
just got put in.
(35:33):
I Hid that quickly because Idon't want my wife to know how much
I've spent on Chris's.
Scott bids up my auctions andends up winning most of them.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So this is what happens.
So if in.
In his whatnot, I'll go in there.
I don't really have anyinterest in bidding on some of the
stuff.
It.
(35:54):
Sometimes there's somethingthat I really want, but, like, it's.
I'm not a collector.
I don't need this stuff.
So if someone bids right away,I see that they're excited.
So then all bid, and I try todrive up the bids that Chris makes
more money, but I usuallydon't know when to stop, and I usually
end up winning the thing, so.
(36:16):
You're welcome, Chris.
So have you ever gottensomething for someone for Christmas
and you're not sure if they'regonna like it?
In fact, they probably don'teven know what it's gonna be.
So you have to kind of lay thegroundwork to get them excited about
it.
(36:36):
Oh, no.
Explain.
I'm intrigued.
Okay.
I'm very sorry.
A couple months ago, I found away to buy really inexpensive, like,
really severely discountedYoda lightsabers, like, from Galaxy's
Edge.
Like, the.
It's a very specific gift.
(36:56):
Yeah, the really nice, youknow, lightsabers that.
That Sarah And Lewis have 15of them.
So I got two of them becauseI'm like, okay, the most you could
buy was 2, and they were super cheap.
So I got one for me, and I gotone for my nephew.
Well, my nephew's never seenStar Wars.
(37:18):
Doesn't even know who Yoda is.
And so, like, I'm telling my sister.
I'm like, okay, well, it's May.
I'm telling you now, you havesix months to get him into Star Wars.
Okay.
Shouldn't be that hard.
It's on Disney.
Like, let's make it happen.
So they didn't.
And so, yeah, so they're allover at my house last night.
(37:39):
So I purposely set up my.
My lightsaber, and now I'maddicted, and I want more Sarah.
So the next time we go toHollywood studios, I'm gonna need
Yalls help.
Yeah.
And it's not 15.
It's like 20 something.
Right?
Right.
I didn't care until I put itall together and turned it on that
first time and swung itaround, and it was, you know, in
(38:02):
my mo.
So anyway, so is this alightsaber or a vibrator?
Sarah can be used for either, right?
No, but I Do like how you.
You chose the tiniest lightsaber.
More relatable, Sarah.
So I, I, It's.
(38:23):
It's set up in my movie room, right?
And it's on the stand, and I'mlike, you know, I'm calling my nephew
over.
I'm like, hey, buddy, youknow, I want to show you something.
And he's like, oh, what?
What?
And I said, well, you have tocome in the movie room.
And he's like, well, can weturn the light on?
I was like, no, no, you haveto keep the light off.
Which, like, my sister'shearing this, and she's like, that's
(38:44):
really creepy.
Please don't talk to him like that.
So I turn the lightsaber on,and he's like.
And his face lit up, and I'm like.
I'm like, do you want to hold it?
And so I'm letting him holdit, and he's like, this is really
cool.
I'm like, thank God.
So now he is.
He's prepped, he's ready, andnow I've got him excited about this
(39:06):
lightsaber.
So that's what I meant by.
Did you ever have to build agift up because you weren't sure
if someone was going to like it?
That's.
That's what I've been doing.
How so?
Well, I.
I can't say too much, but Itold you guys.
What, What?
We had the experience.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Exactly.
So I've just been talkingabout it and bringing it up in conversation.
(39:31):
Just.
Oh, check this out.
Oh, check this out.
There's something new or, youknow, whatever, and then excitement,
you know, from the other side.
And does anybody else remember?
Because she can't say it.
What was the experience this year?
I don't remember.
Last year was Puerto Rico.
It was some celebrity.
(39:52):
Oh, Megacon.
Comic Con.
Yep.
Yes.
Yes.
Thank you, Nick.
Yep.
Little ears right behind me.
I get.
I get it.
I get it.
I get it.
Okay.
Chris, have you ever had to lay.
Lay groundwork?
Yeah, you know what?
And I'm a.
I'm really bad at it.
Emily hates when I do this.
It's funny because I actually,I'm really.
(40:12):
I thought I was really good at it.
I am really good at it.
But so I used to do this allthe time.
I used to get Emily something,and then we'd be at a store.
This is when I used to shop,like, a month or two in advance,
and then we'd be at a store,and I'd, like, show her what I got
her, like, wow.
Isn't this nice?
(40:33):
Like, literally the same exact item.
And I remember, like, most ofthe time, she's like, oh, yeah, that's.
That's awesome.
I think one time she's.
She was like, that's okay.
And I just kind of, like,broke down.
Like, I actually.
I got you this for Christmas,So now I'm gonna have to return.
Return it.
Just return you.
Why would you even say something?
Just return it.
Maybe I told her afterChristmas, I don't know.
(40:54):
But Emily got so mad becausewe were just going to stores, and
I would just, like, randomlyask her if she liked something, and
she's like, you have to stopdoing this.
Like, this is.
This is not okay.
Yeah, I forgot.
I used to do that all the time.
And I thought I was, like,being real slick at it.
And I guess.
I guess what?
I never do that.
Except for once a year before Christmas.
(41:15):
It gets a little obvious.
We.
I have a bad habit of, like, Iwill say.
I'll mention.
Oh, you know, I really shouldhave asked for this.
I really wanted this.
And, like, the dead, you know,the deadline has already passed.
My shopping is already done.
And it happens with my mom alot where I'm like, oh, you know,
I should have asked for this,or I really wanted this, or whatever.
(41:36):
And she had already boughtthat exact item for me, and she's
like, you.
You ruin it.
Anyway, Nick, have you had tolay the groundwork for a gift?
You're not sure if someonewould like.
I feel like I have.
I just can't think of any specifically.
I just.
I know the one time that I gotSean a bidet for Christmas.
(41:59):
Oh, that was for you.
I mean, that's amazing for everybody.
That's for the whole family.
That's a great gift.
So I.
I bought this on Amazon, andit's like, 36 bucks on there.
It's really not a bad price.
It hooks right up to yourtoilet and everything.
You got tushy.
I don't.
It's not a brand name.
Some Chinese.
Some Chinese brand.
(42:20):
I want to get a new one forour basement now.
But he was so mad when heopened it.
He's like, why would I want this?
Like, trust me.
Trust me.
So I get it hooked up, like,five months later because I have
no time in my life.
So I finally got.
Had it hooked up, and this hasbeen a game changer.
We have the cleanest, gayestasses in the city now.
(42:46):
So sometimes it starts out asa bad present, but it ends up being
the best one.
Yeah, you Know, it's capes.
Come back for more.
That's a great.
I might do that for a whiteelephant this year.
I love white elephant.
I'll have to let you guys knowwhat, what, what we get on our white
(43:09):
elephant.
Oh, yeah, I.
I actually.
I wish I had the box with me.
Unless it's behind me.
I got a prank box for my whiteelephant gift.
So they.
They're gonna unwrap it.
And the box, it says, like,roto wiper.
And it's.
It looks like it's.
And it looks like super real.
And it looks like it's a.
It's a wheel that cleans,like, almost like a.
(43:30):
In a car wash that you hook upto your toilet that cleans your ass.
I have to send you guys a picture.
It's really funny.
That's funny.
So I did do that.
I paid an extra $5 for that.
So I knocked $5 off the whiteelephant gift that I bought because
I stick to the budget.
Nice.
Chris, you got any Cliff Notes?
I do.
I actually have something alittle bit more special this week.
(43:53):
I do have two Cliff Notes, andthen I have something special.
It's been quite the show.
A lot of stuff's happened, sonothing can stop.
Stop this little boy fromrecapping the day the Chris's Cliffs
Notes way.
So I started off talking abouthow I was denied service liquor store
because I didn't have my id.
(44:14):
This is almost the completeopposite to when Scott is denied
entry at a school for showinghis id.
Scott told us a story abouthow he showed his nephew a lightsaber
to get him excited about it.
Never had a doubt, Scott,because you have a long history of
showing your lightsaber tochildren in dark rooms.
(44:34):
And instead of more CliffNotes, I actually have a little something
special for the.
For the season.
Twas the night beforeChristmas when all through the house,
not a child was stirring, noteven the one trapped in Scott's basement.
Sean was hung by the chimneywith care in hopes that St.
Nick from Sandpiper soon wouldbe there.
(44:57):
The dogs were all nestled allsnug in Scott's bed.
While Scott had visions ofmilk boners in his head and mama
in her noise cancelingheadphones and Scott in his dog looking
for his Vaseline to crank onhis hog.
When out on the lawn therearose such a clatter, Scott sprung
from his bed to make sure itwasn't a minority.
(45:18):
With a ladder away to thewindow he flew like a flash blue
balling his dog disrobed andbare ass when what to his wondering
eyes did appear But a hung manoutside who identifies queer with
a large package.
He knew of his shtick.
He knew in a moment he must be Nick.
(45:40):
As Scott drew out his head andwas turning around down the chimney.
Nick came with a bound.
Actually, he did not come witha bound yet he spoke not a word but
went straight to his work.
I'm sorry.
He spoke not a word but wentgay to his work.
He took a hit of his weed penthen turned to give a jerk and laying
his finger on side of his nosehe started sniffing cocaine.
(46:01):
He started snorting cocaine asa sniffing a rose.
But I heard him exclaim whenhe drove out of sight.
Happy Christmas to all.
Unless you voted right.
Bravo.
That was really good.
Yeah, thank you.
Really good.
I thought of that halfwaythrough the episode.
(46:23):
Just started writing.
That was brilliant.
That was brilliant.
I love that.
I love that.
A little special.
Yeah.
Well, we usually go around theroom and we talk about what everybody's
got coming up.
But it's Christmas.
It's.
It's the holiday season.
I don't know that we're goingto do an episode next year, so.
Or next year.
Next week.
Or we're gonna take off forthe year back in 26.
(46:46):
Yeah.
I don't know.
Summer.
I don't know that we're gonna do.
Wow.
We may take next week off withit being the week in between Christmas
and New Year.
So we may take a week off.
So we may not be here.
Oh.
But we have to record thefollowing Monday because it's a very
special holiday.
It is a very special holiday.
So we will have to record onJanuary 6th.
(47:07):
Absolutely.
Three Kings Day.
Oh, yeah, of course.
And it's also the Hunchbox.
The Hunchbox.
The Hunchbox birthday or something.
Is it really?
No.
The Hunchbox birthday.
I don't think my mother inlaw's birthday is until February
holiday.
The holiday that's celebratedin the movie.
(47:29):
Oh, the holiday.
Okay, my bad.
Chris, you can't say thatstuff about your mother in law.
She listens to the podcast.
Just typical mother in law jokes.
You know what's funny is mymother in law, when she's down, she's
like, you know, for somereason I can't listen to your podcasts
and candidates.
It's.
I'm restricted.
And I said, well, that'sprobably good.
(47:50):
Don't listen.
That's right.
When they become the 51ststate, they'll be able to listen.
I'm like, you know What?
There are 7.2 billion peopleon this planet.
All of them can listen to itexcept for you.
You are the one person on thisplanet that I do not want to listen
to this podcast.
There's two but anyway.
(48:13):
Alex, where can our listenersfind you?
Disney Verse baby.
D I Z N E Y V E R S E and allsocial media platform as well as
YouTube.
Join us the first Thursday ofthe month and we'll be doing a live
episode on YouTube.
It is going to be game masterRyan hosting a game on Disney Verse.
So I'm gonna check that out.
(48:34):
Nick, you can find me atEmotional supports gaynick on Instagram
and all social media platformsat sandpipervacations.
Sarah, you can find me on theInstagram and whatnot at Old Solter.
Chris, you can find me onInstagram and whatnot at Chris Yop.
And you can connect with allof us on our social media links right
(48:55):
there on our website.
No new friends podcast.comwhile you're there check out our
really sweet merchandise.
Also join our clubhouse becomea friend with benefits for as low
as $2 a month.
You get exclusive content,early release, cutting room floor,
entering to win some prizes.
It's a super fun time.
Plus join our free public Discord.
Just go to our website website.
It's a little pop up ad andjoin our Discord.
(49:16):
We'd love to interact with you.
We'd love to start talkingmore on Discord.
Our Discord is is deader thanmy dogs right now.
Oh.
Anyway, but check us out on YouTube.
We're there every Monday andif you listen to us on Spotify or
Apple or anywhere where youcan give us give us a rating, please
leave us a five star ratingand review really helps us out.
We love that kind of stuff.
(49:37):
On behalf of game master Ryan,Giles, Gyles Jarman, our producer,
Alex Darren.
Dot com.
Nick, Sarah, Chris.
I'm Scott.
Merry Christmas.
Happy holidays.
Happy Hanukkah, Kwanzaa.
Thank you so much for listening.
We'll see you next time.
See you later.
(49:57):
Poopy Bus.
No new friends.
Just the old and the B.
Scott, Chris, Sarah.
A naked tale to be told.
Welcome to the podcast whereadulting unfolds.
We're adulting unfolds we'readulting unfolds.
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