The Holy Feast of the Insurrection

The podcast explores the comedic chaos that ensues around holiday celebrations, parenting, and the absurdities of life. A major highlight includes a hilarious discussion about the mishaps of celebrating Christmas, including a memorable story involving a mother-in-law's accidental Facebook post about adult content. The hosts delve into their own holiday experiences, from gift-giving blunders to the realities of raising children who are more interested in wrapping paper than presents. As they share their personal anecdotes, the conversation takes unexpected turns, revealing the challenges and joys of adulting. With wit and humor, they remind listeners that parenting is often a mix of heartfelt moments and laughable disasters.

Links referenced in this episode:

• nonewfriendspodcast.com
• sandpipervacations.com

Companies mentioned in this episode:

• Disney
• Sandpiper Vacations
• Bath and Body Works
• Meta
• Kobe Steakhouse

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Disney vacations.
All inclusive resorts, cruisesand family trips to Idaho.
Travel to your favorite placeand have a celebration.
Sandpiper VacationsBroadcasting from the Sandpiper vacation
studio.
Welcome to Parents Night outwith no new Friends.

(00:23):
The comedy break every parent deserves.
This is the podcast whereparenting meets pure unfiltered fun.
Real raw hilarity.
It's your night out withoutthe kids, where nothing is off limits.
And we say what everybody elseis thinking.

(00:43):
Whether you're a parent orjust need a good laugh.
We've got the adult humor you crave.
So kick back, relax and getready to let loose with us.
This is Parents Night out withno new friends.
Tuck your kids into bed, paythe babysitter a little bit extra.

(01:05):
It's time for Parents Nightout with no new friends.
There are so many ways toconnect with us.
Just check out our website,nonew friends podcast.com.
while you're there, check outour really sweet merchandise and
also join our clubhouse.
Become a friend with benefits.
That's our Patreon.
For as low as $2 a month, youcan have all sorts of exclusive access,
including cutting room floor,early release on the episodes, entries

(01:27):
into our contest, and so much more.
Right now we are recordinglive on the YouTube where you can
watch us every single Mondaynight, 8pm EAS Eastern Standard Time.
And then don't forget tofollow us at the parks with new new
friends on the tick tock,where sometimes we go live from the
parks.
My name is Scott.
I'm the host.
With me as always, the scumbagreselling hoarder himself, Chris.

(01:47):
Happy holidays.
The Jewish American princess, Sarah.
Hello.
Our emotional sport, gay Nick.
Happy new queer.
And our producer, Alex.
It's spoiler alert.
It's me.
Well, happy holidays.
It's.
It's been a minute.
I think the last episode wedid was right before Christmas.

(02:10):
So we've got Christmas, we'vehad New Year's, and then there's
a bunch of amazing holidays inthe month of January.
February.
Oh yeah.
Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, all those other.
What?
No, you said that today we'rerecording on Christmas.
No, the last time we recorded was.
Your exact words were you textme this morning like, I can't believe
we get to record on my Christmas.

(02:30):
I didn't know what my meant, but.
Oh yeah, well, you know, it'sthe, the.
The.
The premiere of Netflix.
There you go, there you go.
It's talking about that, thatand the Three Kings Day.
Yeah, it is Three Kings Day.
Yes, the epiphany, I thinkwhich Is also Three Kings.

(02:51):
Also Three Kings day holidayfrom Hunchback of Notre Dame.
Oh yes, the genocide.
Is that what it is?
Pretty sure.
I haven't seen it in a while,so maybe not.
Don't know.
There.
There's something like that inthere maybe.
Oh, okay.
And then of course the feastof the insurrection.
So there's a lot of greatthings happening today.

(03:12):
January 6, 2025.
Oh, today's boxing Day, apparently.
I thought that was the dayafter Thanksgiving.
In Canada.
When is Boxing Day?
Yeah, that's in Canada.
Because they do that insteadof Black Friday, don't they?
Yeah.
So obviously I'm not good atmy Jewish or Canadian holiday.
That's the day after Christmas.
So today is not Boxing Day.

(03:33):
Remy.
Very close, very close.
But how was everybody'sChristmas slash Hanukkah?
I didn't celebrate Hanukkah, Scott.
Why not?
I did.
I'm Catholic.
Well, that's.
I'm anti Semitic.
Okay.
You want me to say it?
Thanks.
Joke.
Just for all those listeningto them.
I definitely celebrated Hanukkah.

(03:54):
We had.
We had brisket and latkes anda lot of Bud Light.
A lot of Bud Light.
You celebrated it better thanI did.
Yeah, yeah.
We had the plates with themenorah on it.
My.
My brother in law and.
And niece lit.
Lit the menorah and did therokotoy and the, the.
The prayer.
I.

(04:14):
I only know the first part.
It was well said.
Thank you.
I mean we like.
We like candles for Hanukkah,but I mean they were just Bath and
Body Work scented candles.
You put them in a row.
8.
8 bath and body works candlesin a row.
I mean I almost burnt thehouse down.
So kind of.
Well, well, wait a second.
Were they three wick candles?
Because I feel like thatshould count for something.
Oh, it's a good point because then.

(04:36):
You multiply the number of wicks.
I think that's.
I don't know.
I lost.
I think that counts, honestly.
So happy Hanukkah.
At least not be done.
But Nick, how was.
How was your.
Your Christmas?
Christmas was good question mark.
Oh, okay.

(04:58):
So my mother in law wassupposed to come she.
To the Christmas in front of everyone.
So that's.
That's another story.
I think we should lead withthat story.
I forgot about this.
So nobody else did.

(05:18):
We.
So Nick smoked a lot of weedto block that one out.
I've been trying to forgetabout her.
So she.
She canceled on Christmas.
She didn't come because.
What a shame.
Just couldn't get there.
Her Knee hurt or something.
I don't know.
She happens to me a lot too.
My Achilles tendon.
She made up a random excusewhich I've talked about her on the

(05:40):
podcast previously.
She has some very short termmemory loss to the point that Facebook.
Her Facebook post anymore.
Just.
She's sharing like everything.
She's one of those people thatjust shares random pages.
She sees like any reason or.
Remy.
Well, you guys wouldn't knowsince you're not friends.
We're not friends anymore.

(06:02):
So she posted on there.
Adults, adult sex or somethinglike that on her Facebook.
On her Facebook.
I forget.
I forget exactly what it saysbecause I'm trying to tune it out.
She posts that and then sheposted something else after that
too and just kept going withthe night.
And we're like, yeah, she just.
You sent it to us.
I remember this now.
She posted like adult films or adult.

(06:25):
It was something so random.
Should I pull it up?
Should I pull it out?
Pull it up.
It was like adult film star orsomething, but just random words.
It wasn't anything.
Adult sex videos.
That's it.
Adult sex videos.
It was at 11:31 and it was at11:15 at night.

(06:45):
So it was.
It was the witching hour.
So it was a late night.
But like, she had gottenhacked recently too, somehow her
phone got hacked.
Don't know how that happens,but it got hacked.
So we're like, oh, maybe herFacebook got hacked.
So we both text her like, hey,like, you might want to go on your
Facebook, take that last postdown that you posted.
Didn't tell her what she posted.
And she's like, no, I was.

(07:06):
That was supposed to be for my.
My Google search.
Yeah.
So that happened.
Apparently she still flicksthe bean.
No judgment there.
I mean, congrats, I guess.

(07:26):
I don't.
I don't know what to say.
She's.
She's old.
She's up during age.
She's probably almost 80, I think.
So close to your age, so.
Oh, yeah, I do.
You know when they.
When they do the, like the gethard medications and they're like,
ask your doctor if your heartis safe for sex or whatever.
Like, they're talking to melike that's me because I'm out of

(07:47):
breath, just walking from hereto the door.
Yeah.
So, yeah, I tried.
I tried to tune that part out,but thanks for bringing that memory
back up.
Luckily, I have therapy tomorrow.
It's called a core memory.
I can talk about this with my therapist.
Yeah, she's.
Her memory has gone a littlecuckoo lately, so kind of glad she

(08:09):
didn't show up for Christmas.
So we had a nice morning to ourselves.
This.
The three of us went to mybrother's house and had a really
good time.
It was nice and relaxed.
Nice, Sarah, but what about you?
How was your Christmas?
You worked, right?
I did, I did.
No, wait, I didn't.
Oh, not this year.

(08:29):
Oh, my God.
I'm so used to working onevery holiday.
I did not work this yearbecause it landed on a Tuesday and
Wednesday.
So I was lucky.
I didn't have to fight for it.
But it was full of people bothChristmas Eve and Christmas morning.
But we had a lot of fun.
The girls found out finally.
I can say out loud, they'regoing to megacon.

(08:52):
So, yes, they're very excitedabout that.
They're both very excitedabout who they're meeting and what
they're doing, so.
And I got Legos.
Oh, nice.
So they're done already.
So I got another one in todayfor myself for Three Kings Day, so.
It should last me about.
About 48 hours.
But who are they going to seeat Megacon?
I know you told us.
I.

(09:12):
I forget.
I have a terrible memory.
So Jordan loves Stranger Things.
Obsessed with it.
And she's got a countdown forseason five.
So she's going to see MillieBobby Brown.
Oh, that's cool.
She's gonna do the photo op.
And I thought you were gonna say.

(09:32):
Jordan love for a minute.
I'm like, they're going to afootball game.
Quarterback for the.
No, sorry.
Lost there.
Green Bay Packers.
Okay, now.
Nope, sorry.
And then Sophia loves, like,anime and animation and stuff like
that.
So there's a new show that shelikes and she's gonna go and see
one of the voice actors forthat, so.

(09:53):
Oh, that's awesome.
Very, very excited.
And then maybe I'll sneaksomebody in for myself.
I don't know yet.
The crew from.
No, he's not gonna be there,but Molly Ringwald is like, the whole
Breakfast Club's gonna be.
Oh, wow, Chris.
The Breakfast Club is a show,a movie that came out in the 80s.
It was directed by John Hughes.

(10:15):
It had the Brat Pack in it.
Emilio Estevez bright pack,like Charlie D'Amelio or Charlie
XCX.
The millennials and Zoomerswill get that reference.
Moving on.
So Molly Ringwald.
So I might sneak that in therefor myself.
We'll see.
But it was a very successful holiday.

(10:35):
Very cool.
Very cool.
Chris, I'll come back to youbecause I know we're going to spend
some time talking aboutEllie's first Christmas.
Mine was great.
Thanks for asking.
Mine was great.
Thank you, Nick.
So a couple cool things.
You know, I talked about thisrecord player that I got for Rachel
and it was super fun to put it together.

(10:58):
And we opened up.
We have two boxes of records.
You know, she's got a box andI've got a box.
And just taking those out andlooking through what we have, like,
I've got the.
The original soundtrack from Epcot.
It's like the 1980s anthem.
So I was playing that.
And then like, I have onethat's Disneyland's Main Street Electrical
Parade and some other rides.

(11:19):
And like, you can't find MainStreet Electrical Parade streaming.
Like, Disney had it taken down.
So to have that and.
And just to kind of unlocksome of these core memories of records
that I played as a kid and then.
Did you get the Wicked record?
What's that?
Did you get the Wicked record?
Not yet.
Not yet.
I got.
Sean got it for me for Christmas.

(11:39):
It was amazing.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm gonna have to get that.
But it's been exciting too,like explaining to Abby what a record
player is because we.
Darren got her a Taylor Swift album.
It's a two.
Two disc or two.
Two record album.
But it's just been kind of funto play it and all that and then
stream the Wicked soundtrackto the record player because it's

(12:00):
a.
It's like an 8 and 1.
It's got a tape deck.
And the only thing it doesn'thave is an eight track player.
But that was super cool.
Now my wife's big gift to me.
So first of all, I don't know.
Yeah, we don't know this.
Yeah.
So she grew up in Germany fora while.
She was a military brat andspent a lot of time.
Grew up in Germany.

(12:20):
Don't worry, Sarah.
She's like ultra liberal andinto human rights, so she's an ally
to the Jews.
I still like her.
Okay, good.
But she is.
During the.
During the Olympics, I wasobsessed with the.
With the German Olympic teambecause it had two magic players
on it.
Mo and Franz Wagner.
So I'm telling her about FranzWagner, who's my favorite magic player.

(12:42):
And she just loves the name Wagner.
She's like, Franz Wagner.
So she got me a Franz Wagnermagic jersey.
Oh, that's really cool.
Wow.
Yeah.
They sell them that big.
Son of a.
But that's how much she paysattention to detail.
That is cool.

(13:03):
That's awesome.
But then.
And I didn't even know Iwanted this until I got it.
She got me Meta Glasses.
Oh, yeah.
It's.
It's essentially like an applewatch for your eyes.
Yeah, I.
Why aren't you wearing them, Scott?
They're sunglasses.
Oh, oh, oh, yeah.

(13:24):
So this is super cool.
First of all, the soundquality, unbelievable.
It like pumps the musicdirectly into your skull because
nobody can hear it but you.
It's incredible.
You can ask, you can say, hey,Meta, what am I looking at?
And it like snaps a pictureand it tells you, like, what's around
you and what you're looking at.
Or like, I looked at my mangotree and I was like, what kind of

(13:44):
tree is this?
And, oh, I've got it set asKeegan Michael Key.
So it's in his voice, he'sexplaining that it's a.
It's a mango key.
Mango tree.
I did offer my wife $50 totake it into the women's locker room
the next time she goes to thegym, but she slapped me and said,
no, she would not because it records.
It does.
Like, you can stream.
So, like, that'll help my armwhen I'm in the women's locker?

(14:06):
No, when I'm at the parks, youknow, I just don't.
You don't.
You don't know where the gym is.
That's true, that's true.
There's an extra $50 to givehim directions there, but.
But they are so badass.
And it was great because wentto my brother or my sister and my
brother in law's on Hanukkah,and my brother in law, we own a Dynasty

(14:30):
football fantasy football team.
And it was the week 17, it wasthe day of the championship.
So, like, I'm trying to watchred zone on the television, but he
doesn't have red zone.
And I was too drunk toremember my password, so I was just
streaming it on my phone andjust had my sunglasses on.
Listen, like, I'm sitting hereat dinner, like they're doing the

(14:51):
Orocatoya shot and I.
Whatever.
And, and.
And I'm watching the game andlistening through my glasses.
It was kind of amazing, anamazing idea.
If you, if you don't likepeople, you can act like you like
people by Right being in thesame room, but you're actually watching
something.
It's incredible.
Well, you can't watch it onthe glass.
It's like it doesn't have anyvisual thing, but I could hear the
game and I had the.

(15:12):
The game on my phone.
Interesting.
Yeah.
What's the battery life on that?
Not great.
Not great, Chris.
Not great.
You're asking the questionevery 30 seconds.
What's this?
What's that?
A battery?
12%.
So, so it was funny.
I, you know, we, I was adulttime with my wife and I was, you

(15:33):
know, down there and I said,hey, Meta, what am I looking at?
I'm just kidding.
Mark Zuckerberg comes in andsaid, wait, is it Mark Zuckerberg?
Is it?
Yes, yes.
Can you imagine like himexplaining the anatomy of a woman?
And I, I don't know if I, Itold you guys this.
I, I know I told you off air,I don't know if I told you on air,

(15:53):
but you know, I was able toget really inexpensive authentic
Yoda lightsabers from, fromDisney and I, the, it was like 60
bucks.
So I bought two of them.
I bought one for myself andthen one for my nephew.
We'll come to find out.
Like he's, he's a Marvel kid.
Like he knows everything.
Marvel loves.
Marvel has never seen anythingof Star Wars.

(16:14):
So like I bought this like sixmonths ago and I told my brother
in law and my sister, I waslike, you've got six months to get
him into Star Wars.
And they didn't.
So when we all had the PolarExpress sleepover, I was like, oh,
you know, I grabbed my nephew,I was like, let me show you something.
And, and you know, I grabbedthe lightsaber went.

(16:34):
I was gonna get clipped.
And he's like, oh, wow, so cool.
And I'm like, oh, you know, doyou want to, do you want to hold
the, hold it and play with it?
Wait, wait, I don't know.
How does he.
What's going on?
I don't know how not to do this.

(16:55):
I asked him if he wanted to.
I don't know how not.
I don't know how to not do this.
I asked him if he wanted toplay with the Yoda lightsaber and,
and see it.
He's like, oh yeah, it's so cool.
So like I hyped him up for hisChristmas present.
So of course he loved it whenhe got, he's like, oh, it's just
like yours uncle got.
Because they call me UncleGakot and well, because I couldn't.

(17:19):
Okay.
When I, Chris is giving me aweird look.
When I was younger, I couldn't.
Or when, when, when my sisterand I were younger, she couldn't
say my name, so she called me Got.
God.
Now that's harder to say thanScott actually.
Correct, Correct.
Well, my sister's, you know,so my kids couldn't say her name
because her name is a littlebit complicated.

(17:41):
So they called her, you know,a cute little nickname.
So we just decided that herkids would call me Got.
But anyway, I digress.
But yeah, a lot of alcohol,drank a lot, worked on New Year's,
so didn't do anything fun there.
And here we are, the bestholiday of the year.
The feast of the Ascension.
Epiphany.

(18:01):
The epiphany.
Yay.
Yeah, I wish you were.
You wore your official shamangarb tonight.
I thought about it.
I thought about wearing myBuffalo Bill hat because I love the
team from New York Buffalo Bills.
Anyway, sure.
Chris.
How was your Christmas?
Good.
It's good.
Good.
All right.
You know what pisses me offabout Christmas with a little one

(18:21):
is that you get on the coolestand all they care about is the paper.
No, I could have told you.
Just save your money and justget tissue paper.
And next year, just boxes.
She likes boxes this year.
Okay.
She's just that she's in thescratchy scratchy phase.
We call it the scratchyscratchy phase where she just gives
everything a scratchy scratchyand so much so where she peels stickers
off of boxes and then I findstickers hanging out of her mouth,

(18:43):
which is, but so, yeah, Imean, we got her all this cool stuff
and I thought we got her a lot then.
Enter grandparents.
Oh my God.
My mom being a first timegrandmother, you know, it's the woman
that buy the gifts.
My mom being a first timegrandmother, my dad seeing everything
she bought.
Hold on real quick.
How many times, Chris, didyou, did someone open something and

(19:08):
you look at Emily and, andsay, we got that for them.
I'm still finding things thatwe got her to this day.
So many times, so many timeswith family.
Like my, my, my dad would holdup something.
I was like, oh, wow, who'sthat from?
And he looks, he's like, from you.
And I'm like, like, oh.
And like I, I, I, you know,she got her all the cool stuff I

(19:29):
get.
I got her a 20 year bond.
And I'll tell you what,thinking that would have been the
lamest gift.
She played with the, with thepiece of paper the whole time.
So Emily, Emily picked out aball pit.
She picked out all these, thisthing and that thing.
What's she playing with?
The piece of paper that says20 year bond on it the whole time.
So I think I won Christmas.

(19:50):
No, it was, it was really nice.
We were isolationists on Christmas.
Everyone came to us, everyonebrought food, which was really great.
We were like, hey, you know,we're doing a potluck breakfast.
Then we didn't make anything.
Right?
Because everyone's bringingNick and Sarah.
Potluck is when everybodybrings a gift.
It's not getting a free bag of weed.
Yeah, I forgot to.

(20:13):
So we didn't make anythingbecause everyone brings something.
Nobody knows what anybody else brought.
Right.
So I could have brought anything.
I could have suppliedanything, right?
So that's the great thingabout potlucks.
I love that.
Really a really good time.
Everyone out of the house bylike three or four.
And then we just had the restof the day, just hang out.
Which was a dream becauseevery Christmas we're always going

(20:34):
somewhere.
Except for this.
This year we just go up to ourroom and.
And we got, you know, adulting.
The adulting gifts.
Right?
We got new bedding.
We got new bedding.
Oh yeah.
Not that kind of gifts.
Not adult gifts.
Adulting gifts.
Got.
Yeah, new bedding, which was great.
Nick's mother in law gotherself an adulting gift.

(20:55):
Yeah.
Really, really good Christmas.
The adulting gifts, like theyget worse when you get older.
Because my dad this year gotme a camera for the garage door,
but it's for the buttons onthe outside because he wants to make
sure our house is extra secure.
On top of that, we also got an outlet.

(21:19):
The box that you put into a wall.
I'm like, who's gonna install this?
Hopefully him.
I think Sarah can one up you.
I.
I might.
When I got.
And my mother told me what itwas before I got.
Before I opened it because shesaid this might come in handy.
But you're gonna look at itlike it's stupid.

(21:40):
It was a fire blanket.
A fire blanket.
Because I'm prone to accidents.
And she looks at me and she'slike, don't worry, I got one for
your brother.
And I also got one for myself.
But.
But just, just keep it underyour sink, okay?
It's.
It's for when the fire starts.
You put this.
I'm like, thanks, mom.

(22:00):
Thanks.
I really appreciate it.
So I got a really comfortablethrow blanket as well.
And that might end up going upin flames.
I don't care about you.
It's about the house.
That's because I rent.
I understand.
Do you guys have like thatgoat that like every year you're

(22:21):
gonna have this in your stocking?
Like for me, my wife gets usall new loofahs every year.
So like every year we get.
It's usually toothbrushes and deodorant.
Like just like the essentialbathroom stuff, I guess.
Okay.
You guys do practical stuff.
Yeah, for stockings as well.
Like, Like I get Emily.
Ibuprofen.

(22:42):
Yep.
I travel ibuprofen though.
It's travel.
I've proven.
I got Rachel a bunch of the.
Like the Ollie Melatonin.
Yeah, yeah.
And then like the one for likede stress.
I'm trying to send her messages.
Condoms.
Wait, what?
You have no idea.
Nick.
Wait.
Sarah, what do you put in your stockings?

(23:04):
Candy.
And like fun stuff for them.
Like the girls both got theirrespective favorite, like face wash.
I mean, I guess that'sessential, but like I got them, you
know, fake nails that theycould put on and nail polish and
you know, like, I don't know,girly things that they do.
Essentials, I guess.
Yeah.
Yours is a combination of notlike the boring essentials but like,

(23:27):
you know, bath bombs, like thefun little essentials or the accessories
to the essentials.
Right, right.
Like maybe a bedazzler for the toothbrush.
Lewis's was filled withPokemon cards and candy, so nerd.
You know, and mine was empty.
I shade Pokemon cards in my.
Yeah, you guys can talk to himabout that one.
Lewis, thought you were gonnafill up your own stocking.

(23:50):
No, I literally left onChristmas Eve because I wanted to
go and get a last minute gift.
So I drove to a Walmart 25minutes away in Sanford to.
I know on Christmas Eve, butguess what?
I get the best coffee everevery morning now because it was

(24:10):
an espresso maker and it's for him.
Oh, nice.
Nice.
Those are the best gifts.
Every corner in Florida.
Why does you have to get 20 minutes?
Okay, because realisticallywhen I looked on the GPS, it said
it was like 10.7 miles to theclosest one.
And it had one left in stock,which is risky.
Okay.

(24:31):
But the one that was 10.2miles away, right off the highway,
had exactly, it had four.
So I said I'm going to risk,you know, I'm gonna go on the highway
today and hope that my chancesare are better.
It makes sense.
And Chris, what you don'tunderstand about Deltona and this
is like real talk.
So Deltona is this.

(24:51):
It's this small little town inbetween Sanford, Debary and Daytona.
But it has nothing.
It has absolutely nothing.
Like the, the Walmart thatshe's talking about is not actually
Deltona, it's Orange City.
Like if you want to go to aTaco Bell, there's nothing in Deltona.
You're going to Orange City.
We just got a Taco Bell.

(25:12):
We just got a Taco Bell rightnext to A checkers and the dollar.
Tree but that's actually in Debary.
It's right down the streetfrom me this time I swear by it.
But do you live in the hood?
He's right.
No, I moved out of Dahood intoDel Rico actually.
But, but yeah, he's right.
It's literally somebody.

(25:33):
There's gas stations and churches.
That's it.
It's, it's true.
And somebody explained it tome as somebody taking a handful of
spaghetti and just dropping iton a map and that's what the roads
are like.
Everything.
I thought the Rico was in you.
No, that's the weekend.
He'S accurate.

(25:53):
I mean.
Chris, we interrupted you.
Please continue.
Oh, I thought I was done.
What was I even talking about?
I say that to my wife all the time.
I thought you done.
I think that I was justtalking about how it was great and
getting her more paper next year.

(26:14):
Really nice.
Yeah, well I, I know it's likereally cold for you guys but before
we get into the weatherbecause I know we, I, I know that
there's some stuff with the weather.
Let's, let's check in with the4 minute and 45 second Giles Gar.

(26:36):
And now it's time for the moreyou know.
And here's your host, Giles Garmin.
Hello there Giles Garmin hereletting you know that on the next
episode of into the Disney vetyou can hear a censored Disney game.
That's right.
The folks on the show aregoing to be taking some Disney ride

(26:58):
quotes and censored censoring words.
It's a fun game and you'llhave to check it out since there's
no fun facts about it.
I'm just gonna turn on my TVand see what's on.
Not dancing through death.
There's no more ice cream.
Can't build another house.
Memories gone.
Memory Memory was all already gone.

(27:21):
Why think too hard?
What was I doing?
That's right.
Harami and the gentlemen areback performing your favorite Broadway
tunes in honor of the depth of39th President James Carter.
And they're singing all ofyour favorites.
You can hear such classic sayssome people mourn the Carter.
Some news he's dead.

(27:43):
Carter is dead.
The enemy of all of us here.
In Mar A Lago is here in Marlago.
What is this?
The Iran hostage crisis?
What is this feeling in adungeon and it needs some fun.

(28:08):
Yes, I ran.
Where is Jimmy?
His farm or newsman.
Let's just say I'm in Iran.
Where are you?
Where are our hostages?
It's a terror I don't want to.

(28:33):
Be a martyr defying a second term.
I hope you're happy I hopeyou're happy Now I hope you're happy
how you're more rememberedthan Ford I hope you like those Camp
David hordes?
I hope we're happy I hopeyou're happy, too?
I hope you're proud of howyour middle name is Earl Just a fact
of what made me my stomachcurl so Though I can imagine how

(28:53):
I hope you're happy I hopeyou're happy Right now it's time
to try to.
Find a second term.
I think I'll try to find a.
Second term and some randomactor who decides to become Republican
can pull me down.
I'm fine accepting election results?

(29:15):
Cause the electrical colorssays they're so?
Some things I cannot change?
But I'll try?
I'll never know?
Too long I've been afraid ofbeing remembered as super old?
I guess I've lost To Joe Biden?
To Joe Biden?

(29:37):
A word that rhymes isPentecost and more popular.
You really weren't popular.
The economy was rough.
No one could buy stuff in adu.
Only one five states and onewas Rhode Island.
Who cares about Rhode Island?
Well, clearly you weren't popular.

(29:59):
You had to leave office to be popular.
You did some good charity workbut couldn't twerk, and I'm honestly
fine with that.
But your Chrysler bailout surewasn't a good stat.
Call 1-800-772-6563 to getyour very own copy of Remy and the
Gentleman Sing.
Jimmy Carter, Was he wicked?
For only $19.99.

(30:20):
And if you call in the next 30minutes, we'll add in Barack Obama
in Chicago.
Got it.
On the musical.
Common Obama, why don't wepaint the town?
And all that jazz?
We like the Affordable Careact and gay marriage.
And all that.
You lost your hair, but youwon our hearts.

(30:41):
Despite being born in the Mideast by our charts, you were a cool
president and should be on a scent.
And all that jazz.
Wow.
Well, after that ad, here, newepisodes of into the Disney verse

(31:05):
every Monday.
You can find it at into theDisney verse.
D I Z any Y V E R S e on allpodcasting platforms.
And that's all from me, Giles Garmin.
Bravo, gentlemen.
That was unexpected.
That was very unexpected.
Very not up to tempo, butvery, very good.

(31:28):
Well, okay.
That's a segue.
Sarah, can you give us ourvery last Jimmy Carter update, please?
Well, guys, Jimmy Carter's dead.
I know.
I don't Know, I.
I know.
I'm so sorry.
I don't know if you heard itjust a couple seconds ago, but.
Yeah.
Jimmy Carter's dead.

(31:49):
Oldest living president, though.
Wow.
He's dead?
Well, he was.
Oh, okay.
He was dead, so, I mean, goodfor him.
Well, so he was 100, so.
No other former president haslived to 100.
Right, right, exactly.
So, you know, he broke arecord before he died, and I feel
like the.
The Jimmy Carter joke was likea broken record, so.

(32:12):
Rest in peace, Jimmy Carter.
There was no update betweenthe last update and his death.
Honestly, a year?
Almost two years.
Two years.
Two years.
Well.
And I've read articles like,there's a bunch of male nurses who
are like, you know, look, thiswas good for.
To create awareness for whathospice really is and that it can

(32:34):
last for a while.
It's not just a.
You go into hospice and youdie the next day.
I mean, that's been myexperience, but apparently.
Did you die?
No, not anybody that I'veknown that's gone on a hospice.
Well, that's sad, but.
No, it's not.
He was 100, dude.
I know.
He lived a great life.
He really did a lot.
You know, his work withHabitat for Humanity.

(32:55):
He built a lot of housesthat'll be on his tomb soon.
Jimmy Carter built a lot of houses.
The house that Jimmy built.
Hey, guys, can I interrupt youfor a second?
Because I'm struggling todayand I need you to move.
I'm gay.
Nick's on the mic, so it'stime to take notice.
And if you don't like it,that's homophobic.

(33:17):
Say the hell out of his way.
So I want to talk about.
So have your kids been onspring break or Christmas break,
I guess, for the past two weeks?
It seems like four months, but yes.
Yes.
Did they go back to school today?
Tomorrow.
Tomorrow.
Are they go back to.
Why?
Why did they go back on a Tuesday?

(33:37):
Get this, Nick, it's a teacherplanning day today.
And I'm like, they had a break.
We need an adult planning jet.
No, but actually, the realityis, in Florida, we celebrate January
6th the right way.
We take the day off.
Forgot about that, too.
So Piper was supposed to goback to school today, but did she?

(33:58):
No.
Here's why.
So we got some snow last night.
We got a giant snowstorm thatrolled through the Midwest or I don't
know where it came from.
It was massive.
So there's no school becauseof the snow.
So they canceled schoolbecause we.
So, Sarah, when was the lasttime they canceled school?
Because of rain.
Never.
Never.

(34:19):
Hurricane, hurricane,hurricane, hurricane.
Right.
Did you have a blizzard, Nick?
Kind of.
So we were supposed to get 4to 6 inches of snow, which is a little
short for me, but I.
Was gonna say congratulations,but it was.
It was enough to cancel schools.
So in Ohio, I don't know ifother states do this or not.
We're actually under a level 2snow emergency right now.

(34:41):
Yeah, we have that here inFlorida too.
Get them or not.
But.
So we're under level two,which means it's not super safe to
drive.
It's just like, be careful.
So the buses won't drive inlevel two.
We're still under level two.
I hope she has schooltomorrow, because I.
I work from home.
My husband has also been homea lot.

(35:02):
My daughter has been home.
And I.
I can't work.
I can't breathe.
I can't poop alone.
I couldn't even shower alone today.
Basically, Piper walked in asI'm showering.
She's like, daddy, are yougonna fix Ariel when you get out
of the shower?
I'm like, maybe.
Can I shower first?
This is the first time I'veshowered in like a week, so let me

(35:24):
enjoy it.
Yeah.
So I had to sew a shell thingback on the Ariel on her little stuffed
animal because they ripped off.
And I'm a good dad.
Oh, like the.
The shell.
The bra shell.
Yeah, the bras.
The cha.
Chas.
My daughter's the same thing.
They always rip.
So she ripped everything off.

(35:44):
So it's been.
It's been off for like three years.
And she just now asked me tosew it on.
I missed.
Was there a joke there?
Sarah was the only one who got it.
That's fine.
We can keep moving.
You're.
You're waiting for a laugh.
I think I was Sarah there.
I got it.
The audience at home was laughing.
I think so.
I'm.
I'm struggling right now justcuz I.

(36:06):
I want my life back.
I want my routine.
It's.
It's been a long two weeks.
Fun.
Excuse me.
They'll take a nap.
All right.
Casey Anthony.
What the.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Just.
Just the chloroform.
Not the.
Everything else.
Just the chloroform.
But those are.
Deposition, dude.
But growing up, though, we had.

(36:26):
We had a lot of snow days whenI was a kid too, because I lived
in northern Ohio, up in Lima.
I don't know if you've heard of.
Had a TV show called Glee, so.
Gran Lima.
Glee.
Yeah.
That be my favorite runningthing when you explain that to us
every time.
We.
We used to get a lot of snowwhen I was a kid, and it.

(36:47):
Today just brought up a memoryof when I was in middle school and
we were supposed to come backfrom Christmas break where we get
two weeks off and school gotcanceled because of snow.
When I was a kid, we gotcanceled for two straight weeks in
a row.
So we had an entire month offof school because we had so much
snow as a kid.
Wow.
I.
Matt.
Larg.

(37:08):
Never mind.
I ruined the joke.
I was gonna say someone elsegot cancelled for much longer, but
sorry, didn't work.
So it just brought back a lotof trauma, I guess.
I don't know if it's trauma.
I mean, I.
We had fun those times, butnow as a parent, I'm like, I don't
want her home for another twomore weeks.
We went sliding down thedriveway today as normal person in

(37:30):
Ohio does.
So.
Yeah, it's.
It's here.
But you guys got snow too, Chris?
Yeah, every.
Everybody called off.
It was great.
It was great.
We got.
We got.
We got two inches of snow.
So I've been working real hard.
But you know what's funny isyou guys had off or your.
Your daughter had off, and itwas a day of work for you.
Emily had off from her workand it was a day off for me because

(37:55):
she got to help watch the baby.
Listen, worst case scenariowould have been.
The nightmare scenario wouldhave been Emily going to school,
me having people on the roadfor work, and then also my mom not
being able to make it to myhouse because of the snow.
That would have been mynightmare scenario.

(38:17):
Yeah, the.
The trifecta.
Yeah.
Chris, have you had a singlefull day by yourself with.
With.
No, no, no, that's never existed.
No, no, she's still alive.
So the answer is no.
You show the pictures of her today.
That would.
That should be the answerenough for you.

(38:37):
Yeah.
Super cute pictures.
She's all cute, bundled up in,like, the huge fluffy jacket.
Oh, yeah.
If you want to see thosepictures, it's @chrissyab on Instagram.
Yeah, really fun putting herin the snow for the first time.
You know what was the worstpart about it, though?
Is that, like, she's almosteight months old.

(38:57):
She's not gonna have funplaying in the snow yet.
It was all for us.
And while she's screaming andcrying with tears running down her
face when we're putting thismarshmallow of a snowsuit and mittens
and gloves on her, I felt sobad because I was like this is not
for her at all.
This is for Instagram andFacebook and all of our.
And all of our relatives.
Like, you guys, like, oh, thatwas so cute.
And I was just like, like,pretend like she wasn't sobbing five

(39:21):
minutes before.
But you know what?
Chris and, and, and Nick hassaid this in one of Nick's very first
episodes with us about, youknow, taking babies to, to Disney.
Like, they're never too youngbecause, yeah, they're not going
to remember, but you as theparent is going to remember, is going
to remember.
That's a really good point.
That is a really good point.
And there's pictures and, youknow, it's memories that you're building.

(39:44):
Not.
It's not.
As a parent, you've got totake time to build the memories for
yourself and life, regardlessof if your child's going to remember
or not.
That is really.
That's, that is a really good point.
It's Nick's point.
I don't want to steal Nick's point.
It's one of, it's one of mybiggest takeaways from Nick since
I've.
I've known him.
That and his.
Say Chris gets a bigger takeaway.

(40:08):
That is a really good point,though, because, yeah, it was something
I'll never forget, especiallybecause I tore up our lawn because
I put her in a sled, justpulled her around for 20 minutes
trying to make her laugh.
And finally at the end of the20 minutes, she smiled.
I got her on video.
What's the best, though, iswhen you're out playing, playing
in the snow with your childand you just grab a snowball and
then you throw it at your spouse.

(40:30):
Feeling ever.
I threw, I threw.
I wanted to christen mydaughter in the snowball, so I, I
threw us.
I got it on videos and record this.
And I took a snowball.
I threw it at it because itwasn't gonna hurt her.
She was like seven inches of,of, of like goose feather or whatever
they put in.
What do they do in China?
Because they were.
The snowsuit was super Chinese.
It was from Amazon for like $12.

(40:53):
I don't know.
Child hair maybe.
I don't have no idea.
But they have geese over there.
But so I threw it at her andit was really funny.
It'll show.
I'll show her in a couple years.
She just think it's hilarious.
But I.
And then, and then I wantedher to make a snow angel.
Obviously she doesn't know why.
She couldn't even move, letalone like.
And she's eight not even eightmonths old.

(41:13):
I can't, I can't instruct herto make a snow angel.
So I took her arms as apicture of me.
It looks like I'm pinning herdown, but I was, I took her arms
and I made a snow angel and itwas the cutest thing and she obviously
she didn't mind it, but thepicture of it looks like I'm like
pinning her down like to the ground.
It's really funny, but yeah,super fun.
Definitely will alwaysremember that.
The, the best part about it isif you look on the Instagram pictures,

(41:35):
the picture, my house is inthe background and my dog and Ellie
are in the picture and I,there's this like red orb like in
front of my house and it'sbecause I use, it's because I use
the erase feature because I,me and my father in law tried to
chop down a stump in front ofmy house and the saw died, the chainsaw

(41:57):
died halfway through.
So there's all these big logson my front lawn.
So I use the Apple feature toerase them.
So the best I get.
So if you zoom in, you'll seeall these like creepy looking things
on my house, which no onewould have noticed if I didn't say
that.
But yeah, overall, just sucha, such a really, such a fun time.
A couple inches of, A coupleinches of snow made for a couple

(42:19):
more than a couple inches of memory.
Okay, that was, Tried to, tryto try to get something there but
didn't work.
You were close, you were close.
I'll just cut that.
Sarah, we've got a, we got.
Did you, you got a coupleinches of rain today, right?
Definitely rained here alittle bit.
I was inside.
I actually did not payattention whatsoever.

(42:41):
Well, here's the thing.
My, my Alexa.
Okay, gotta say it quietbecause I have so many in the house.
All right.
It will tell us.
It, you know, it makes alittle chime when it's gonna rain.
Well, it always tells us afterthe fact.
So I was on the phone withLewis during his work break and I

(43:03):
heard the chime go off and hesaid, oh, it's going to rain.
I said, no, it must havealready rained.
So it, it did in some waybecause the ground was a little wet,
but not too bad because Ididn't hear it.
That's the extent of it.
But it is going to be a.
Feels like temperature of 28here tomorrow.

(43:24):
Yeah, it's getting down tolike Florida 38 tonight.
Right now it's like 59.
It was a really weird day.
It got up to 71, and then it'sgoing down to 30.
30?
Well, it says 51, so that guys.
Are making a very strong casefor me to start believing the Republican
Party was.
I thought global warming was a thing.
Where is this global warming?

(43:46):
It's climate change, Chris.
Didn't work anymore.
Now it's just climate change.
Yeah, it's going to be 38 tomorrow.
Down to 10 degrees tonight.
So that's fun.
Yeah.
You guys ready to play Jersey Man?
Florida man.
Yay.
Yes.
Where the flipping.

(44:07):
A fanboat, a crash in a truck.
These states are filled withpeople who suck.
So it's time for us to play.
New Jersey man versus Florida man.
Every week, Ryan brings us two.
Two news stories.
One is from Jersey, one isfrom Florida.
It is up to us to determinewhich one is which.

(44:27):
Take it away, Ryan.
Hey, guys, it's thesophisticated gentleman, your assistant
in the field news reporter forthe Parents Night out news team.
As you can likely tell, Ryanis not here this week.
He is taking the day off inobservance of January 6, or what
he referred to as Freedom Day.
Because of that, I've decidedto go somewhere that Ryan would never

(44:47):
go to an event devoted toMartin Luther King Jr.
Let's go ahead and interviewthis bald guy here.
Sir, what's your opinion onall of the work that Martin Luther
King Jr.
Did?
It was.
It was awful.
It was terrible.
Oh, well, that's notconcerning at all.
All right, now this bald guyis talking about how he finished
all his Christmas shopping late.

(45:08):
That's probably the only timethis guy hasn't finished early, though.
He's also talking about howhe's really bad at rapping.
Sir, we know.
We've met, Darren.
And now he's participating inan auction for the bullet that was
used to kill mlk.
That's pretty awful.
He's saying he doesn't knowwhen to stop.
We know we've heard probably15 too many episodes of Scott Summaries.

(45:30):
And now the bald guy'sstanding up and protesting at the
event.
What a turn of events here.
Go ahead and ask this otherguy his opinion.
Sir, what's your opinion onthis man that's doing the protesting?
You look at this guy, you justknow he's on a registry somewhere.
Not a lot near women.
You know, he's probably gropeda lot of women, so.
Oh, you're probably right.
Oh, all right.

(45:50):
Why are you lying down?
All right, now this guy's sleeping.
And war fire trucks are going by.
All right.
I was just listening toCarline Chronicles or something like
that.
There's an elf over here who'scomplaining about getting carded
even though he has a beard.
Sir, your eyes probably didn'treach above the countertop.
They probably couldn't evensee your face.
Honestly.

(46:11):
Friendly.
Somebody normal here.
Ma'am, what is your opinion onthe man protesting mlk?
I know it's a bit shoehornedin, but I have to get that in somehow.
Which incidentally, is whatChris is often telling Nick.
He's just unfriending peopleon his phone.
Maybe he just finished feedingkids magnets and left during travels

(46:33):
and tribulations and turned onpet cemetery or something, I don't
know.
Oh, and now the bald man isstarting to say a prayer.
And we thank you that you've raised.
Up a man, Donald J.
Trump, to.
Be a warrior for.
Well, he goes through thatdefinitely concerning and probably
sacrilegious prayer.
Let's get into this week'sJersey man or Florida Man.

(46:56):
In our first story, a man wasarrested at a traffic stop after
falsely posing as a federal agent.
And in our second story, a mankilled his fiance, allegedly a day
after a proposal video fromhim was released.
Okay, I don't know the stories.

(47:16):
Chris, what are your thoughts?
I'm gonna go death.
Florida.
I'm gonna go the other one.
New Jersey.
Nick.
What the.
What was the first one?
I forget that quick.
So I'm like.
I forget that was so.
I was still laughing from the second.
I was like, you're laughing.

(47:36):
I'm like, wait, what?
It was a guy acting as asecret Service.
That's what it was.
He was a agent.
Federal agent.
Solid valor.
That sounds like a Jersey, though.
Yeah.
Yeah, Sarah, I'm going to agree.
I think the murder was.
Was Florida.
Yeah, I think federal agent is Jersey.

(47:57):
All right, let's find out the answers.
And our first story was fromFlorida where 61 year old George
Albert.
Or is it Jorge?
I need to ask Lewis to help meout, somebody.
Alberto Alfonso was arrestedafter driving a truck, getting stopped
at a traffic stop and thensaying that he was a federal agent.
Trooper said the truck didn'tappear to be a law enforcement vehicle

(48:18):
because a woman was reportedlyin the passenger seat waving her
arms in distress.
That'll do it.
I don't know, maybe he waspart of the thought Patrol or something.
That means our second story isfrom New Jersey, where a man was
charged with the murder in thestabbing death of his supposed fiance
just one day after a video wasposted to Facebook showing him proposing

(48:40):
to her.
It's actually really, really sad.
And as I was doing thesegment, I realized New Jersey stories
are way more depressing thanFlorida stories.
And in other news, the WorldChess One champion, Magnus Carlsen,
quit a tournament afterrefusing to change out of jeans.
He said that he is too old atthis point to care too much.

(49:02):
Clearly, Scott's been the sameway for a while.
Too bad Nick wasn't there.
I'm sure he would have gladlydropped his pants at the moment,
and I think we all would haveappreciated it.
Anyways, that's all for methis week.
Back to you.
Thank you so much,Sophisticated Joe.
That was great.
That was great.
Yeah.
So, Chris, you went out for hibachi.

(49:22):
Unfortunately, I did and might be.
Might turn into.
I might own the place by.
By this time next year.
Yeah.
So go to Hibachi.
The first time I've ever beenthere, it's.
We did a little guys guysnight out with.
With two women who don't knowtheir place yet.
And that was.
It sounded very sexist.

(49:42):
It did because.
Because it was.
It was intended to be.
But anyway, so we go there,just a bunch of guys being dudes.
And I think that.
I don't know if the.
I actually found out that thechef did not read the room.
This is just what the chef does.
The chef comes out and allthese hibachi chef Are just, like,
certified crackheads.
Like, have you ever been to ahibachi before?

(50:03):
I have.
Yeah.
We have Kobe steakhouse here now.
Are they crackheads down there?
Like, they just startscreaming saki at you.
Saki.
You sucky me.
And they start stalking you.
They spray sake in your mouth.
They don't spray sake in yourmouth down there?
No.
Oh, they spray a lot of sakein your mouth.
And.
And like, it's when you go to hibachi.

(50:23):
And I guess it's just in NewJersey, it's lawless.
Like, they.
They bring out.
First of all, it's byob.
They're not allowed to servealcohol, but they're getting every.
Oh, yeah, at this.
The specific one that I went to.
Right.
So they're illegally servingyou alcohol because they're spraying
not just a little bit of saki.
Like, they're sakiing you thewhole time.
I got saki in the face seven times.
And then he just got to thepoint where it's in, like.

(50:43):
Did you just rename your penis saki?
Then I went to the hibachi,and so they, you know.
You know those squirt bottlesthat, like, you spray oil on a.
On A flat top with, like the.
Yeah, so that the saki was in there.
It got to the point where hejust put it in front of me and, like,
he was just letting me drinkthe saki.
So anyway, he put his penisaway and he started to cook.

(51:05):
So but like, a lot of theseplaces, speaking about penises is
they.
And I saw this being done.
Another table, they put saki in.
These little Japanese boyswith a penis.
You ever see those?
They.
And they spray the.
They spray the little Japaneseboy toy and his penis is spraying
the saki in your mouth.
No.
Oh, it is insane.
Yeah, it is insane.
So anyway, so he's doing the sake.

(51:26):
The fried rice comes out.
He made the fried rice.
And then he goes, you guyswant alcohol?
And we're all like, yeah.
And so he pours.
There's a serving dish thatyou put your dips in.
He pours, like, a very largeserving of alcohol.
He reaches under the table,gets another squirt bottle and sprays
a squirt bottle into theserving dish and puts it in front
of my friend.
My one friend has his newgirlfriend with him.

(51:48):
So of course he takes a shotand doesn't make a face because he's
trying to impress his account.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yep.
He gives it to my friend nextto me, who is a bonafide degenerate.
It's my.
One of my best friends, buthe's a bonafide degenerate with.
When it comes to alcohol.
So byob, he brought, hebrought a bar.
It was BYOB for bar.
He brought bottles of wine and beer.

(52:10):
And so anyway, so they servehim the shot.
He takes it, and his facelooked concerning, which was concerning
to me, because if, if he'sdrinking something and it is not
good, then.
Or it's strong, then it is.
It is strong.
So then they pour one in frontof me, and I'm about to take it.
I put it up to my mouth, andmy friend looks at me because, dude,

(52:31):
like, dead serious.
He goes, don't take that.
It's rubbing alcohol.
He goes, do not drink that.
And, And I, I was like,joking, and I was about to think
he said, no, I'm serious.
Do you not serve that?
It is rubbing alcohol.
I guess how you get around aliquor license.
But anyway, so, so well, I, I,I put up to my eye, I smell it, and

(52:51):
it's, it's legit.
Just straight alcohol.
Like, just straight rubbing.
Oh, my God.
So I was like, I looked like.
I said, yeah, no, I'm not, I'mnot taking this.
And he takes it.
Oh, come on.
Take it.
I was like, I, I'm not.
I.
I'm not doing this.
So he took it.
He gave it to my friend, andhe took it, and he was like, I've
had Everclear before, and thatwas not ever clear.
That was.
That was rubbing alcohol.

(53:12):
And so when he's asked if he want.
If we wanted alcohol, I mean,I guess he wasn't lying, but.
But not only did, like, at theend, like, he cleaned the grill with
it.
Like, he took out the samebottle and cleaned the grill with
the.
The rubber alcohol.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, so.
And like, every, like, thepeople who took the shots, their
throats were burning until the.
The next day.
I, I, I.
I was like, I was on chat.

(53:33):
Gbt.
When I'm there, I'm like, whatkind of alcohol do the hibachi chefs
clean?
The grill?
They said rubbing alcohol.
Yeah.
So it was legit.
Rubbing alcohol.
They're cleaning the flat topwith rubbing alcohol?
Yeah.
And then serving it as a drink.
What?
Because.
Sucking you.
Sucking me.
Yeah.
But why are they cleaninganything with rubbing alcohol?
I.

(53:53):
You're gonna have to ask.
Hey, it's.
It's.
It's different health codes uphere, I guess.
So anyway, so.
So that wasn't the.
So then, like, it.
So how do I know it's rubbing alcohol?
Well, because he says, give meyour hand, and I'll send you guys
this video right now.
I said, give me your hand, andhe starts spraying it all over my

(54:15):
hand and then lights it on fire.
What?
He goes, listen, listen, if itgets too hot, just blow.
Blow on your hand.
And he lights my hand.
And it was so hot.
It was.
So he lit me on fire.
Oh, it was like.
It was.
It was.
It was so hot.
So I immediately just, like,flailed my arm to get it put out.

(54:37):
So at my hibachi diningexperience, I was served rubbing
alcohol and then lit on fire.
So the.
The worst part about all this,I'm sending it in the.
In our group chat now so youguys can watch this video.
Me being lit on fire.
The worst part about all thiswas that Emily's friend, who she
works with, said she lovesthat place.

(54:59):
So I texted her.
I was like, I just want toknow if you had a similar experience
that I had.
I sent her the video, Me beinglit on fire, that just sent you guys,
and I said, have you ever hadthis chef?
And did he ever serve you guysrubbing alcohol or set you on fire?
And she texted me back, dying,laughing, and said, that was.
She, she goes, yes.
That was the worst shot I'veever taken my, in my life.

(55:20):
So it is a, it is a thing.
And then not only that, buthe, he gave me his Instagram handle
so that he could do.
Because he, he does private parties.
Oh yeah.
Oh my God.
Watching the video right now.
Lit on fire.
Yeah.
And I can see like you immediately.
You pulled out so fast.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, immediately.
I mean my hand was red.

(55:40):
Like my finger was red.
Yeah, I was burnt.
Holy crap.
But I'm thinking to myself,like imagine a health inspector comes
in during any of our dining experience.
The.
And I said this is the wor.
The absolute worst part aboutthe whole experience was that I cannot
wait to go back.
Cuz the food was so good thatYum yum.

(56:01):
Did you know that it wascalled Yum Yum Sauce?
It was lit.
It was legit Yum Yum Sauce.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, he called it Yummy sauce.
Oh.
So we're leaving.
And he, I said, I said, I.
Listen, I just have to ask you something.
I said, that stuff you servedus, I said, was that rubbing alcohol?
He goes, yeah, yeah.
And just walked away.
Oh my God.
I don't know if he didn't knowwhat I was saying or if he was confirming

(56:22):
it equally.
Equally as scary.
Vodka tastes a lot like alcohol.
Oh no, no.
I'm telling you that my friend.
That, that is a bonafidealcoholic confirmed.
It's nothing he's ever tasted before.
Yeah.
But like think about like thecheapest vodka, like Fedka, which

(56:43):
is like $3 a bottle.
I would absolutely hope so.
But does Feka keep your throatburned until the next morning?
Probably.
I don't report back to me.
It was, it was, it was.
I digress.
My I, I, I, I, I lay, I lay mycase to rest with that.
Oh my God.
It was.
But I'll tell you what, thescallops were great.
Great.
Which was a very high risk,high reward by the way, getting scallops

(57:06):
from this place.
It was very high reward though.
Yeah, yeah.
Makes a good onion volcano.
Made a good hand volcano.
I'll post for everybody.
For anybody watching, you canjoin our, Our Sean wrote back and
said, how is this legal?
I don't think it is.
I'm going to post the video ofme getting set on fire in the chat.
I did have to cut some of likethe 45 explosives acts.

(57:27):
I sent it to my mom.
Oh man.
Just put it in our Discord chat.
That's Sean.
Sean says, could it have beenever Clear.
And I thought so too.
And my friend said, I've hadever clear and this tasted nothing
like it.
Yeah, I've had Everclearbefore, but yeah.
So we were all just trying tomake sense of it the whole time.
Everyone is very freaked out.
I'm asking chat GPT.
Like, is it okay to drinkrubbing alcohol?

(57:48):
It's like, stop eatinganything and call poison control.
Hey, Chris.
Scott, you got any Cliff Notes?
I do.
It's been quite the show.
A lot of stuff's happened.
So nothing can stop thislittle boy from recapping the day

(58:09):
the Chris's Cliffs Notes way.
So I did.
I wrote some jokes to honorthe legacy of Jimmy Carter to start
the Cliff Notes off.
Okay, so here we go.
Jimmy Carter finally passed away.
I guess he decided his timewas up, just like Americans did after
his first term.
Oh, they get progressively worse.

(58:32):
Jimmy Carter's death is theonly time in decades he's made head.
He's made headlines forsomething other than building houses
or surviving, which isactually sadly true.
Jimmy Carter's in the groundnow, where his presidency belongs.
Took him long enough to catchup with his legacy.
Oh, my God.
Anyway, now he can buildhouses in hell for all the souls
he couldn't save during his presidency.

(58:53):
Wow.
And lastly, on my Jimmy Carterjokes, I guess we can finally stop
pretending his post presidencywork made up for his time in office.
Anyway, he started talkingabout how Nick's mother in law accidentally
searched for porn on herFacebook and posted as her status.
Nick said that he found outthat night that she still flicks

(59:15):
her beat.
Now, Nick at that age.
I think it's called polishingthe antique pearl.
Good thing Scott neveraccidentally posted his search history
on his Facebook because I'mpretty sure it's a banable offense.
I don't think you're allowedto search for that or post that kind
of stuff on Facebook.

(59:36):
We were talking about badChristmas gifts.
Nick's dad got him anelectrical outlet box.
Horrible gift because Nickknows nothing about electricity or
boxes.
True.
Scott talked about how herooted for Germany in the Olympics
this year because they had acouple of magic players.
Now, Scott didn't just rootfor Germany in the Olympics.
I was watching TV with Scottand he was rooting for them as well.

(59:59):
So now I finally know it'sbecause, you know, it's whenever
magic players represent Germany.
But Scott, what magic playerswere in Schindler's List?
Oh, my God.
Wow.
I'm a big Spielberg fan.
And finally, Scott got upsetthat Giles garment segment was so
long at 4 minutes and 58 seconds.
And to be fair, Scott doesn'thave sex much, so he wouldn't know

(01:00:21):
how.
That's not that long.
As a matter of fact, the lasttime Scott got was by obesity.
Anyone have anything excitinggoing on with the kids this week?
Hopefully school tomorrow.
That's all I'm hoping.
That's really all I'm hopingfor right now.
Nothing.
Yeah, yeah, school.

(01:00:42):
Abby starts rehearsal againtomorrow, so that makes my evenings
very long because I have topick her up from rehearsal.
She's in Mean Girls.
She plays Gretchen, the onethat tries to make fetch a.
Does she make fetch happen?
Yeah, she's super excitedabout it.
Love that.
Nick, where can our listenersfind you?

(01:01:03):
You can find me on all socialmedia platforms at Sandpiper Vacations
for all your vicanian placeshow needs planning.
Planning vacation.
I can't even talk tonight.
And emotional support Gay Nickon Instagram.
Sarah, you can find me at OldSoul Thrift on the Instagram and
the whatnot.
Chris, you find me onInstagram and whatnot at Chris Y.

(01:01:25):
And to take us out properly onthis special day, you can connect
with all of us on our website nonewfriendspodcast.com.
while you're there, check outour sweet merchandise.
Join our Patreon.

(01:01:46):
For as low as $2 a month, youcan see all sorts of bonus content.
Cutting room floor, earlyrelease and whatnot.
Don't forget to watch us onthe YouTube 8:00pm Eastern Standard
Time every single Monday whereyou can see all these things happen
as they occur, raw, unedited.

(01:02:06):
If you listen to us on Appleand Spotify, please leave us a five
star rating and review.
It really helps us out.
We love that kind of stuff.
On behalf of Giles Garmin,game master Ryan, the sophisticated
gentleman, our producer, Alex,Nick, Sarah, Chris.
I'm Scott.
Thank you so much for listening.

(01:02:27):
We'll see you next time.
And to the republic for whichit stands.
Turn it off.
Quickly.
Oh my God.
Happy belated birthday to yourbelated instruction.
See you later, poopy bus.

(01:02:48):
No new friends, just the oldand the phone.
In the world of chaos we're the.
Ones who hold Scott, Chris,Sarah and.
Naked tale to be told.
Welcome to the podcast.
We're adulting unfolds we'readulting unfolds we're adulting unfolds.