Welcome to the Golden Age of America

This episode dives into the hilarity and chaos of modern parenting, featuring a lively discussion on everything from the absurdity of TikTok bans to the golden age of America. The hosts hilariously dissect the political landscape, weaving in their personal anecdotes and opinions, particularly focusing on the implications of Joe Biden's recent policies. With playful banter and sharp wit, they touch on the challenges of organizing a household, including the often comical struggles of keeping a pantry tidy amidst the chaos of family life. The episode also features a lighthearted game segment, where they compare outrageous news stories from New Jersey and Florida, highlighting the bizarre behavior often associated with both states. Listeners are treated to a rich mix of laughter, relatable parenting experiences, and unexpected insights, all wrapped up in a fun and engaging format.

The latest episode brings a whirlwind of laughter and sharp commentary on parenting, current events, and the quirks of daily life. Scott, Chris, Sarah, and Gay Nick dive into the world of family vacations, exploring everything from the allure of Disney trips to the chaos of all-inclusive resorts. Scott highlights Sandpiper Vacations as the go-to for planning memorable family getaways, while the team playfully banters about the absurdities of vacationing with kids. The conversation transitions seamlessly from travel tips to the inevitable comedy that arises from parenting, showcasing the raw humor that defines their podcast.

As the episode unfolds, the hosts tackle the recent TikTok ban, infusing their discussion with personal anecdotes and opinions, illustrating how the platform has become a staple in many lives, especially during the pandemic. They share poignant and humorous moments from their own experiences on TikTok, including Scott’s emotional farewell to the app when it was rumored to shut down. This segment not only captures the essence of their comedic style but also reflects on the deeper connections formed through social media during challenging times.

The episode culminates in the controversial topic of political humor, where the hosts don’t shy away from making bold statements regarding current figures like Joe Biden and Donald Trump. With their signature wit, they navigate sensitive subjects with ease, reminding listeners that laughter often stems from discomfort. Overall, this episode encapsulates the spirit of Parents Night Out, serving as both a comedic escape and a relatable commentary on the trials of parenthood and society at large.

Links referenced in this episode:

• nonnewfriendspodcast.com
• sandpipervacations.com

Companies mentioned in this episode:

• Disney
• Sandpiper Vacations
• Meta
• Google
• YouTube
• Patreon

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Disney vacations.
All inclusive resorts, cruisesand family trips to Idaho.
Travel to your favorite placeand have a celebration.
Sandpiper Vacations.
Broadcasting from theSandpiper Vacation studio.
Welcome to Parents Night outwith no New Friends.

(00:23):
The comedy break every parent deserves.
This is the podcast whereparenting meets pure unfiltered fun.
Real raw hilarity.
It's your night out withoutthe kids, where nothing is off limits.
And we say what everybody elseis thinking.

(00:43):
Whether you're a parent orjust need a good laugh, We've got
the adult humor you crave.
So kick back, relax and getready to let loose with us.
This is Parents Night out withno new friends.
There are so many ways toconnect with us.

(01:03):
Check out our website, no newfriends, podcast.com.
while you're there, check outour really sweet merchandise and
don't forget to join our clubhouse.
Become a friend with benefits.
That's our Patreon.
For as low as $2 per month,you can get all sorts of exclusive
content, including cuttingroom floor, early release on episodes,
and then your chance to enterto win some great prizes.
We are recording live,streaming live on the YouTube every

(01:27):
single Monday.
Well, almost every singleMonday night, 8:00pm Eastern Standard
Time, where you can see this thing.
Raw, uncut, all the thingsthat don't make air.
It's live.
It's.
It's happening right in frontof you.
Also, we sometimes go live onthe TikTok from the Disney parks.
Follow us there at the parkswith no new friends.
My name is Scott.
I'm the host.
With me, as always, my amazingcast of characters, the scumbag reselling

(01:49):
hoarder himself, Chris.
What do we get to see?
Raw and uncut, the JewishAmerican princess, Sarah.
Hello, our emotional sport,Gay Nick.
It's a me.
I'm a gay.
The wise man, Darren.com.
Listen here, brother.
So welcome.
Welcome to the Golden Age ofAmerica, everybody.
It's.
What a time to be alive.

(02:11):
The second person to welcomeme today, golden age of America.
You know, I had to do someresearch, Chris, because I was like,
you know, the golden age of America.
What does that mean?
And that was like the 1950sthrough the 1960s.
I was like, oh, okay, so segregation.
You must have been talkingabout the end of World War II.

(02:32):
Maybe, I don't know.
Must have been.
But a lot of bad things duringthat time period.
A lot of bad things.
There was also polio was kindof running rampant.
I don't know.
I think Joe Biden just gotinto politics around them.
So maybe he's coming back forthe next.
Next election cycle.
Maybe that's.

(02:52):
It was a hint.
It was a little teaser.
It was the end of the.
It was the end of the Marvel credits.
That was the little teaser.
Joe Biden will be back in 2020.
Oh, I love that.
Could you imagine.
Could you imagine if.
If.
If Joe Biden lives long enoughto run again?
Like, Trump will do everythinghe can to also be able to run again?

(03:13):
Yeah, sure.
He'll be vice president andthen kill the president.
That's what I was thinking.
Honestly, Chris.
Yeah, I was thinking the same thing.
I was like, you know what?
He is going to convince hislittle puppet, J.D.
vance, to run for president.
Yeah.
And name him as the running baby.
Because that's the only loophole.
That's the loophole to have athird term as president.
You could just tell looking at J.D.
vance, he's got a huge anal cavity.
For Trump to stick his hand upand just control him like a puppet.

(03:34):
Just tell.
Oh, 100.
He looks like a puppet.
Kind of.
He actually looks like.
Like if you drew the littlelines on him, I would think that
he was a puppet.
A marionette.
But he's got sunken eyes, too.
You should get a health checkon him.
Nick, have you ever controlled anybody?
Like.
Can't say I have.
You should start calling itshowing your mar.
Your marionette.
No, you're his marionette.

(03:54):
Who's the marionette?
Is a marionette.
The guy who controls the puppet.
Puppeteer.
I don't know.
Puppeteer.
What is a marionette?
Well, there's two different things.
A puppet.
Is that a racial term?
Are we.
Are we being incredibly racist?
I think.
Is that a 1950s term?
It probably is.
You can't say that in 2025.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
I think it is the golden age.

(04:14):
You're right.
We can say anything we want atthis point.
I think a puppet is like thegeneral broad term for all these
little things, because youhave the.
The one type of puppet thatyou shove your hand through and,
you know, do with your fist.
And then you have the otherone, the marionette with the little
sticks and the strings, youknow, like Pinocchio.
I got no strings to hold.

(04:35):
Oh, yeah.
So he's definitely not marionette.
He's the.
He's the fisting kind of puppet.
Yeah, he's all like a Jeff Dunham.
What?
Oh, like a ventriloquist.
Ventriloquist dummy.
Like a dummy.
J.D.
vance is the dummy.
Clearly.
Okay, so.
So on Chat.
GPT.
What's a marionette?
They say.
Said.
Exactly.
You know, Using the string.
So I said, what puppet can you.

(04:55):
Fist sock puppets, Muppetstyle puppets, traditional glove
puppets.
And J.D.
vance is actually the fourth.
Actually just kind of interesting.
It's.
It's funny.
So, you know, I wasn't gonnawatch the inaugurate inauguration,
but I was off today, and I waslike, you know what?
I.
The inauguration.
I did, I did.

(05:16):
I requested it all months in advance.
It is a national holiday.
I wanted to see my brethrenget pardoned and return to civilization.
Joe Biden's family.
You're talking about hisimmediate family?
No, I'm talking about the.
The J6 hostages.
To say I thought they wereyour enemy.
I say the J6 hostage hostages.

(05:38):
The hostages of the J6.
Forget about the Israeli hostages.
Let's release the J6 hostages.
Yes.
That's the priority.
We've got to prioritize our hostages.
We have to prioritize.
Yes.
These.
These gentlemen and women ofthe J6 hostage crisis, they served
our country.
They fought for our democracy,and they did.

(05:59):
They.
They fought for what theybelieved in and what they knew was
right because that was theirhouse, and they have every right
to be in there.
I think you're.
You're right.
I.
I get it now.
The moment of clarity.
See?
And who said you can't turnpeople on Facebook?
I just heard, you know, so I.

(06:20):
Look, I had to watch todaybecause I needed to see the train
wreck.
And as a podcast host, I feellike I have a responsibility to stay
up on this kind of stuff.
I was scared when he gave hisofficial inauguration address.
And, like, let's think aboutinauguration addresses for a moment.
Like, JFK had this beautiful,you know, ask not what your country

(06:42):
can do for you, ask what youcan do for your country.
Like, there are some iconicmoments, for sure.
Yeah.
Iconic.
Iconic moments.
Biden said.
Who that was.
That was really.
That was really beautiful.
But I was scared.
I was scared.
I'm signing an executive orderto close the borders, and I'm like,

(07:03):
I'm going to Mexico in acouple months.
Am I going to be able to get back?
Or are they just going to seehow this American and just take me
down?
I.
I don't know.
You're really white, so you're fine.
You couldn't even pretend.
I'm talking about the.
The.
The Mexican cartel.
Are they going to take me outbecause I'm American?
Oh, yeah.
Because according to Trump,there's nothing but rapists and murderers

(07:26):
in Mexico.
That's all that there is.
And sandals have to let us know.
I almost feel like that mightbe the better option to just go to
Mexico and stay there.
Just stay there.
The weather's nice.
It's, it's warm.
I, I don't care about it anymore.
Yeah.
So we are, we are going to beflying over the Gulf of America in

(07:46):
February to, to.
You'll be able to see MountMcKinley from your air.
We have so many things as acountry to worry about.
A lot happened today.
A lot, A lot happened today.
What happened this weekend, Nick?
It's been a whirlwind.
It's a news cycle.
No, it has been like I have, Ihave a list.

(08:06):
Like this is the longestprepared list I have for an episode,
I think since like episodefour where I like took it super seriously
and had like a book for.
It's insane all the stuffthat's happened.
So.
Okay, let's talk first aboutthe Tick Tock ban.
So for months and months andmonths they, we.

(08:28):
I have been made fun of aboutmy midlife crisis and my going live
on, on the Tick Tock and, andI did not believe that Tick Tock
was going away.
And, and it's just been thiswhole cloud of, of doubt and uncertainty
around the world.
You are a Trump guy, aren'tyou, Scott?
Just denying Supreme Court rulings.

(08:53):
I, well, you know, I figured,you know, Mr.
Beast or someone was going tocome in and buy TikTok because like
there's a lot of money thatthis, this Chinese company is going
to lose out by losing 170million subscribers.
Plus I also thought, okay,these elected officials that voted
yes on this, they're going tosee, wait a second, 170 million users.

(09:14):
That's 170 million votes.
Maybe we should rethink this.
Like the will of the Americanpeople is to have TikTok, but that's
also.
170 more million more peoplegoing to meta.
That's what they're, that'swhat they're.
Noggins was using.
Because listen, okay, at theinauguration you have, you have in
the front row family members,you know, the Vance family, the Trump

(09:38):
family.
In the back row you hadTrump's cabinet.
Right behind the family wasZuckerberg, Bezos, Elon Musk, the,
the CEO of Google.
You see Zuckerberg sneak apeek at, at Bezos's escort.
Oh, I didn't see that.
Oh, you'll also send you a video.
Okay, so, so we're, we'recoming up to this Tick Tock band

(10:01):
and I haven't been live in awhile but you know, I've got a lot
I've made a lot ofacquaintances on the Tick Tock, you
know, shut up, Tiffany, Ben,Toy, dad, Bod.
You know, there's so manypeople that I've connected with the
defunct Mexican cartel.
So many people.
So many people.
And, you know, we used to haveso much fun going live.
So on.
On the night before.

(10:22):
Tick Tock's gonna go dark.
I'm on Tick Tock.
I've been on Tick Tock inmonths and I'm going through and
everybody's crying,everybody's saying goodbye to each
other and I can't help it.
I'm.
I'm just scrolling, scrollingand I'm gifting, gifting, gifting.
Like I.
Because I still have like 100coins left.
I had to get rid of thembecause I'm like, these are going
to be useless tomorrow.
Like kind of like the US Dollar.
And.

(10:43):
And it was so sad, so sad.
And then all of a sudden, 8:30goes dark.
Wasn't.
And 8:30.
It was 10.
It was 10:43, 10:30.
I don't know, whatever.
It went dark.
It was early here.
It went dark for everybody atdifferent times.
It did a random thing.
Well, what I found is when,when people were getting the notifications,
I was still on it.
It wasn't until I closed theapp and went back on.

(11:06):
That's when I got the notification.
I was seeing all of the textscome through on the chat and I'm
like, I can't read the text.
I don't want to close itbecause I was still scrolling.
It slowly, slowly shut down onme, though.
I think the funniest thingabout this whole thing is that it
was banned for a reason.
Right?
It's banned because it's anational security risk and an enemy

(11:30):
country has access to.
Access to what we see and, andour information.
Right?
And everyone's like, yeah, butI don't care.
I just want to watch a thirsttrap do a little dance on my, on
my, on my phone at 3.
They're welcome.
Yes, it's.
It's kind of scary where weare at the world.
We are prioritized.

(11:51):
What's really crazy is therewas a big group of people that went
to another app called RedNote,which is literally the Chinese version
of TikTok.
And it's all.
It's all in Mandarin,literally tiny.
It's literally like they don'teven hide the fact that it's a Chinese,
Chinese app.
And I'm like, what ishappening here?

(12:12):
And everybody was like, I'mjust gonna give.
I'm Just gonna give myinformation to China.
My social sign up.
Sure.
Mother's maiden name.
No problem.
High school mascot, the Bumblebee.

(12:32):
So, okay, I'm, I'm gettinginto this hype as things are closing
down and I start like, I.
True story.
And Hannah's in chat right now.
She to this.
I start texting her and I'mlike, I'm so sad.
I'm so glad that I met you andthat we've been like, I'm having
this moment with someone thatI'm actually friends with that, like,
I can text back and forth atany point.

(12:52):
That we've had zerointeraction via Tik Tok in months.
But I'm, I'm getting likesuper emotional about this.
It's like, these were the besttimes of my life.
And I'm like.
And then like the next day I'mthinking, what was I thinking?
The best times of my life.
This was like a three monthspan when I went live every week.
So now, Chris, once it wentdark, Once it went dark, I refreshed

(13:14):
that son of a.
Every 10 minutes, hoping,hoping and praying that somehow it
was gonna change.
Start splashing water on yourface, hoping it's a bad dream.
Yeah, I, I put my phone in rice.
I'm like, well, maybe thiswill get the tick tock back.
Maybe this will lower the Chinese.

(13:34):
Fried rice.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Mine was bor.
But it's a fact that Chinese.
The lucky thing is I did aterrible impression.
So nobody's going to pick upon that.
Pretty good.
Thank you.
So here's what I thought was brilliant.
So the, the message that comeson the, on the screen is, you know,

(13:58):
unfortunately, we, we've hadto go dark, but we've been assured
that incoming President Trumpis going to rectify this or whatever.
And I'm like, you know what?
Donald Trump is playing 40 chess.
Tell him it was me.
While the are playing goddamn checkers.
Okay?
Because Trump started thiswhole nonsense about banning tik

(14:20):
tok.
Like, remember when, like,there was a tik tok trend that like,
everybody was like, we'regoing to buy up all these tickets
to his rally and nobody showed up.
And so he's like, tik tok'sgot to go.
It's, you know, many peopleare saying it's the word.
That's the.
The Chinese are, aremonitoring us.
Was that a FDR accent?
Was it a fireside check?

(14:41):
Listen, I, I don't Trump.
So like, he orchestrated thisall so that he could be the hero
when he brings it back.
Because I gotta tell you, whenit came back the next morning, I
immediately said, well, maybethis Trump guy is not so bad.

(15:02):
Joe Biden.
They're like, what's a Tic Tac?
I love Tic Tacs.
The reality this is how easilywe're manipulated.
And then in the 11th hour,Biden says, I'm not going to enforce
the ban.
So it was Biden the wholetime, but Trump's gonna take credit
for it.
Oh, what a time to be alive.

(15:22):
Huh, Sarah, Listen, I actuallydid get rid of my Facebook and Instagram.
Good for you.
Oh, why?
I did.
Well, I'd been looking for anexcuse for a long time anyways, and
I just.
I was like, you know what?
I'm done with all the drama,really, with it.
But now there's all theserumors about Tick Tock being bought

(15:43):
by them anyways.
So of course, naturally, youknow what, I can scroll past the
negativity.
But I, you know, I was like,all these friends that I have on
Facebook, for the most part,of course I don't talk to them.
They wouldn't know if I was gone.
Anyways, like, I noticed.

(16:04):
You know, I would notice.
I wept.
I would notice things.
Guys.
Well, thanks.
Nobody noticed until now.
Yeah, in all honesty, I didn'trealize you were gone.
No, I mean, I don't ever post anything.
I literally don't.
It.
It doesn't take anything awayfrom my life that I don't have it.
But I enjoyed Tick Tockbecause I used it as a.

(16:25):
As my Google.
Like, that was my.
That was my go to.
Wait a second.
Really?
Wait a second.
What were you Googling on Tick Tock?
No, I mean, like, listen, if Iwanted to look something up, like,
I don't know what to do withmy hair or my makeup or something
like that, like, instead ofgoing through all this, I just went

(16:45):
on Tick Tock.
Oh, see?
Somebody do it.
And I was like, okay, that'squick and easy.
I'm gonna do that.
You know, I like watching real people.
Your algorithm is muchdifferent than mine.
My algorithm has changed somuch, though.
I opened my Tick Tock, I wasthere when it came back on.
I was actually showing a coworker how it wasn't working, and

(17:06):
it was a black screen.
And I kept refreshing,refreshing, went to my messages,
tried to show her that Icouldn't open a video, and then I
went back and all of a suddenrefreshed it again and it popped
up.
But I texted Lewis and I waslike, go to your Tick Tock.
And then not too much longlater, you guys were texting, saying,
tick, Tock's back.
Like, that was the strangestthing, because I was there when it

(17:27):
shut down, and I was therewhen it came back up.
Yeah, it was weirdest.
12 hours that I've experiencedin a while was.
I'm glad it's back, though.
So my.
My algorithm, Sarah, is.
Is watching a bunch of videos of.
You want to know how you're.
How to get your husband to dowhat you want much faster.

(17:48):
And it's a video of the wifesaying, hey, can you help me with
the trash?
And he goes, oh, in a few minutes.
And then she flashes him, andhe's like, all right, I'll be right
up.
That's all I watch, is a bunchof that stuff.
Hopefully watch those.
Yeah, I was gonna rewatch it.
Like you're watching Titanic.
Like, they.
You got to miss the icebergthis time.
Even though you know what'sgonna happen.
Right.
You saw this video six timeson your feed before.

(18:08):
Maybe this time you see adifferent angle.
Yeah.
Or maybe there's a mirror thatthey missed.
Maybe start looking at faucetsand stuff.
Zoom in.
Enhanced.
Like hardware in the kitchen.
That pan is kind of angledtowards Chris.
It's like.
You're not going to rememberthis, but, like, back in the 80s,

(18:29):
you know, your television hadaccess to every channel, but.
So, like, you'd get to theporn channels, and you couldn't see
anything.
It was just like fuzz.
You could kind of hear it, butit was like fuzz.
Or distorted.
But like, every once in awhile, if you.
If you, like, looked andsquinted and turned your head just
right, you see the side of a boob.

(18:49):
Wow.
It was Channel one back in the day.
Channel one, yeah.
See, Nick.
Yeah.
Nick knows.
Nick knows.
He was looking for thedifferent porn channel.
Yeah.
Not the same.
There was.
So they were just porn on live tv.
Yeah, but you couldn't see it.
It was all distorted Cinemax,but you had to.
Yeah.

(19:10):
Yeah.
It was behind a paywall.
You had to pay for it.
It was part of your monthlybill, but it was still there.
Like, that's the thing is toact like all the channels were there,
but you couldn't see them.
So, like hbo, you could hearthe movie, but you couldn't see it
unless you upgraded your package.
Blind people were like, I'mnot paying for anything.

(19:38):
So.
So it was funny.
All the characters at this.
You know, all these techmobiles at the moguls at this inauguration.
But the most fascinating wasElon Musk welcoming us all to the
Fourth Reich and.
And giving the Nazi salute notonly once, but twice.

(20:02):
Just in case you didn't seethe first time.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And he turned around to makesure that everybody else saw.
Sarah, did you see that?
I saw it on Tick Tock.
Thank God.
She.
She Tick Tocked.
So that's like Google TickTocked Offensive hand gestures.
That was the one random thingthat popped up in all of the European

(20:24):
content that has flooded myfor you page now.
Nick, how are you with the.
The Tick Tock blackout period?
I was sad about it because Ilost all my hot shirtless men.
They moved to the Instagram atleast, so I was able to enjoy that
for a few hours.

(20:44):
Okay.
And then we went back to TickTock yesterday and our algorithms
were all sorts of up.
Yeah, none of my Disney peopleare coming up right now.
No, it was.
Yeah, mine is normally likeDisney Wicked or hot shirtless men.
Like those are like my mainthree, like, algorithm things.
Yeah.
Last night.
We're hot shirtless men doingWicked or Disney stuff.
Yes, doing wicked stuff.

(21:07):
That's the site.
Wicked dot com.
Yeah.
We got into some rabbit holeslast night with everything that started
popping up on Tick Tock andall these conspiracy theories about
meta and everything.
So it was.
It's been interesting timesright now.
Very interesting, interesting times.

(21:28):
I'm just glad it's back.
I've already started in myhead, like, planning a live site.
Like, I got.
I gotta go to the parks again.
I gotta go live.
Like, I'm gonna get my gimbal out.
Out of the dust balls.
Yeah.
He was talking about getting like.
I called him yesterday when Itold my dad that Tick Tock was coming
back.
And he was like, he's like,I'm trying to get laid right now.
And I was like, but Tik Tok's back.
And then he immediately hungup and I got home and he's just scrolling.

(21:51):
He's been scrolling the entire time.
I.
And then.
And then he says to me, goes,didn't get laid, did you?
I said, nope, scroll, scroll.
The ladder is just really,really quick.
So that was today.

(22:12):
Now you know what?
Let's hear from.
Let's.
Let's hear from Giles Garminin the more you know.
And now it's time for the moreyou know.
And here's your host child, Garmin.

(22:35):
Hey there, Giles Garmin here,letting you.
Know that on the next episodeof into the Disney verse, you can
hear all about the history ofMary Poppins, the 1964 film as a
reminder, new episodes of intothe Disney Verse release every Monday
on all streaming services.
That's into the Disney Verse.
D I Z N E Y V E R S E andthat's all from me, Giles Garmin.

(22:55):
That was it.
That was quick.
Last week it was like 12minutes, wasn't it?
Yeah.
Is he mad at us?
I don't know.
Maybe TikTok helped him out.
Chris, is there any.
That was it.
Okay, so story behind this.
I think he is a little madbecause you never told him we weren't

(23:16):
recording last week.
Well, he never sent meanything last week.
He was gonna do a gag and youwere pissed about how long it was.
You were pissed about how longit was.
So I don't know if you guys.
I don't.
Well, you made a comment aboutit, so he was playing off of that.
All right, okay.
Stick with the bit.
So.

(23:36):
So I don't know if you guyslisten into the Disney Verse, but
there's the Garmin brothers.
It's Giles.
And then there's Gerald.
And Gerald and I play Geraldand I just wait.
It's you.
Holy.
And so we had like a 12 minutesegment that was just all three of

(23:57):
us just bantering and it wasreally long, drug out and really
bad.
And that was.
But since it was timesensitive because of the this Week
on Disney Verse, he.
I guess he didn't send it because.
Because we skipped a week.
But like now that I'm thinkingabout it, I guess he could have just
changed the beginning.
Right?
But that's the story.

(24:18):
So we did save.
We did save eight.
Eight to 11.
Well, okay.
Goodbye.
Skipping a week.
So maybe.
I think.
I guess you won.
Well, Giles Garmin, I.
I apologize for any confusion.
You know, I.
I went to.
I went to Disney with Darrenand my dad last Monday and I didn't

(24:39):
know if we were going to get.
That's not like a Costcothing, right?
You actually went to Disney?
Oh my God.
We haven't said that in forever.
Curious.
I don't know what you guysdoing in Florida.
No, it was a fun day.
We went to Animal Kingdomfirst and then Hollywood Studios.
Really cool.
You know, I wasn't.

(24:59):
We didn't really.
I didn't have many storiesfrom this other than the.
And I fell asleep, likesnoring during Muppet Vision 4D.
Not because I was drinking,but because it's that terrible.
Just kidding.
I was drinking.
Muppet Vision 3D first off.
What's that?
3D, not 4D.
Muppet Vision.
Oh yeah.
Muppet Vision 3D.
Okay, 40.
Yeah, yeah.
The better, the better one.

(25:22):
So rip.
So, you know, a couple ofweeks ago, I told you guys that I
got to interview KevinBroussard, the original indie stuntman
from the Indiana Jones Stunt show.
Wait, you.
I thought that's really cool.
On Creators United.
I'm glad you followed his nameby what he did, because nobody knows
who Kevin Brossard is.
Well, I know that.
That's why I said what he did.

(25:43):
Anyway, so interviewed himwith Dane on Creators United.
So interview.
Oh, it was so much fun.
I'm gonna.
They're really big get.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
This is a big deal for me.
Okay.
Remember your.
Your Vince Papali?
Nobody knows who that is.
Oh, the guy who.
They made a movie about Scott.

(26:06):
Movie about Kevin Brossard'smain actor too.
Anyway, was a whole movie byyou and your sister.
So.
So we go to the Indiana Jonesshow and Kevin is playing the director.
Wait, wait, wait.
Before we go on, I do want to.
I just.
For anybody wondering at home,when I said, was it a home movie

(26:29):
by you and your sister, it wasbecause they would reenact this thing.
I could not let that go.
Thank.
When they were kids, theywould reenact the Indiana Jones stunt
show.
Anybody who's been listeningto this show for a while knows that
this was.
For people who haven't been.
Okay, good.
Good point.
Good point.
We could have new listeners.

(26:50):
Not many, but we could.
We don't want.
We don't want to paint you inany different of a light then you
already have.
Jesus.
Exactly.
Yeah.
It's okay to.
To paint me out to be a racistand a pedophile, but yeah, yeah,
that.

(27:14):
Guess furry family is okay.
Scott told me that.
So.
So.
So we.
We.
After the show, I'm like,well, let me.
Let me go say hi to Kevin.
Kevin again.
Kevin Persard, the originalindie stuntman.

(27:35):
Oh, he's the original indiestuntman from the show.
From the movies.
You haven't said that before.
Oh, my God.
There was an Indian TV show from.
The epic Stunt Spectacular atHollywood Studios.
So.
So, you know, I.
I've been drinking all day.
And during the Indiana Jonesshow, I had two.

(27:55):
Like, I had two beers duringthat show.
So I am two double fist again.
So I have a lot of courage.
So I go up and I'm like, Kevin.
And he looks at me.
I was like, you know, Iinterviewed you a couple.
And he's like, Scott gives me this.
Brings me in.
Gives me this big old hug.
It really cool picture of him.
Hug Me.
What you can't see is I'msobbing because I'm like, he remembers

(28:18):
me.
We're best friends now.
It was.
It was really cool.
And I felt really bad threedays later when I looked at the group
chat and I saw that I didn'ttext back about it.
I'm used to it.
Yeah.
I kind of figured it wasalready baked into the cake, but
I was really happy for you.
I.
I watched the live photo,like, three times.
Such a cool moment.
My dad was like, wow, he wasgenuinely excited to see you.

(28:40):
That was like.
That's the cool thing abouthim is that he, like, you could tell
even in the.
The 1 1/2 second live photothat he was like, that was not fake.
He did not.
He did not have to hug you.
No, no.
I was fine with a handshake.
And even if he said, oh, yeah,I remember you.
Thanks for coming to the show,that would.
That would have been fine formy interaction.
But the hug.
And then.
And then I was like, well, canwe take a picture with.
And he's like, absolutely.

(29:01):
And he kicked the rope down.
Oh, that's cool.
Yeah, it was.
It was a cool moment.
Did you get my hand job, too?
I did.
Not surprised.
That was the end of the livephoto, actually.
You can see this, the startingof it.
He watched just long enough.
So here's the thing, though,is like a week before, Darren was

(29:26):
patient zero with the bubonic plague.
It's true.
Like.
Like super sick.
And at first I thought it wasjust vaginitis because he was, like,
sick for two days, and then hewas, like, out, out and about partying.
And then he was sick for another.
Four days, wasn't out andabout partying.
So.
Just kidding.

(29:47):
For legal purposes, that is a joke.
So I don't know how this happened.
Yes, Darren.
No, there's a kitten.
Sorry, I got distracted.
Oh, sorry.
So you said bubonic plague.
Bubonic plague.
That's funny.
When I was in town, I gaveNick the Dick Donnic play.
So I don't know how thishappened, but.

(30:09):
But the very next week, bothRachel and Abby both get super sick.
You don't know how contagion works.
Well, they didn't.
They didn't come anywhere near Darren.
They also didn't go anywherenear him.
I was gonna stay away fromthat as far as I could.

(30:29):
Okay.
So as far as I could listen,when I said it, when it came out
of my mouth, when I.
When it came out of my mouth,when I was dropping the joke, I forgot
that I Looped my daughter intothat sentence.
Okay, okay, okay.

(30:51):
I was a little confused.
So, anyway, they didn't goanywhere near Darren.
Like, if anything, I was theclosest to him, and that was about
six feet.
So you came close to him.
What I.
What I learned from COVID isas long as I stay six feet away,
I'm good.
Good.

(31:11):
Right?
Exactly.
So they both get sick, and I'm.
And we have conspiracy theories.
Like, Darren's like, well,cats carry human viruses, and, you
know, the cat was in my face,and then the cat was in the.
Rachel in.
In Abby's face, so that'sprobably how it happened.
And I said, okay.
Meanwhile, I get home, andthey're both, like, running me all

(31:36):
over the place.
I put in, like, my steps in inabout five minutes, because one of
them is, can you get me this?
And then they wait till I get upstairs.
Can you get me this?
And then I have to go down,back downstairs, and then back up
to Sarah.
You know, it's server life.
No, it's not even that.
I just recognize it with thekids every time I sit down and get
comfortable.
Okay, back up.

(31:56):
I think you're.
I think your wife was justrunning up and downstairs because
she doesn't often get to seeyou go downstairs.
That or she's trying to likeit, get the heart attack going faster
so that she can move on withher life.
So.
So I don't want to get sickbecause I know I have this Disney

(32:18):
day coming up, so I look likeevery day.
For you, though.
That is true.
But.
But I like.
It was with my dad.
Right.
You know, I go to Disney maybeonce or twice a year with my dad,
so.
Chris, I look like I wasgetting ready for a Joe Biden rally.
I'm wearing a mask inside the house.
Nonsense nonstop.
Like, nobody's around me, butI'm just wearing the mask to.

(32:38):
To not get sick.
Here's.
Here's the funny thing,because we've talked about the man
flu before, and I don't know,Chris, if you do this, but now, because,
okay, my life revolves aroundpeople making fun of me.
I mean, like, on this podcast, it's.
It's an hour and a half of ridicule.
You have no choice.
I have no choice.

(32:58):
At work, people make fun of me.
It's just.
It's just part of my shtick.
And I like it.
You know, it makes me laugh.
You ever think people justhate you?
You?
Maybe.
Maybe, like.
Maybe these people just don'tlike me, and they're serious.
This got dark.
Real Quick.
I was just kidding.
Okay.
So I find myself now when Iget sick, I underplay how sick I

(33:21):
am because I don't like beingmade fun of by mostly my wife, like,
oh, you got the man flu andall that.
Meanwhile, she has me runningup and down the stairs getting different
things.
I was like, what the hell isgoing on here?
There.
But Ellie got the bubonicplague, right?
Yeah.
It sucks too, when babies getit because then you got to use that
thing to suck stuff out oftheir nose.
You love that thing, though.

(33:42):
But she's, she's getting.
Yeah, but she's getting.
Yes, exactly, Nick.
That's the exact one you, I,I've upgraded from this, the plunger
to the one you put in your mouth.
Yeah, yeah.
Sometimes you get a little bitof reward.
No, I'm kidding.
So the, the thing that sucksis when she was a baby, she didn't
really have good hand eye coordination.

(34:02):
Now she's doing taekwondo,trying to get this.
Get this straw out of her nose.
Right?
So she, I have to, like, I'm home.
When I'm home alone with her,which is for like 45 minutes, I have
to pin her arms down and thenuse with, like, with my elbows and
then stick the straw at hernose and then give a nice little.
And then, yeah, then she's good.

(34:22):
But yeah, it's, it's, it's, it's.
At first it was gross, andthen I was like, there's something
satisfying about this,something satisfied.
You just.
I, I've just learned thatparenting, you just turn into a sick.
It's like, like, like youstart like, I, I, I, I got that dad
nose thing to clean thediapers now.

(34:43):
I enjoy the smell of.
It's like now, now, now.
It's like when she shits,first of all.
So you don't use the little thing.
In fact, I take some of the,and rub it on the, Like Chris lines
under his eyes after I changedmy first poop without the dad nose.
It's like after your firstkill, you rub the blood on your face.

(35:05):
I rubbed the, on my face and Iwent downstairs.
Like, look what I did.
Chris, is like, like when,when people are, are around bad smells,
they put like that Vicks vaporrub in there.
Yeah, he just puts, you know,the little.
Yeah, so we could smell that.
Yeah, yeah.
It's so long without her pooping.
So you might.
Exactly, exactly.
It's a reward.
It's her.
When she, when she poops.
Poops.

(35:26):
I, you know what's crazy too,is she waited Till Emily went back
to work for her to startpooping twice in the mornings.
Now it's like, this is what I get.
No, but now it's like, it's,it's fun.
Like, now it's like, it feelslike I'm accomplishing something.
I'm, I'm wiping, I'm wiping away.
I use.
I don't know if it's, nor isit normal to use, like, 30 baby wipes.

(35:49):
A thousand percent.
Okay.
I would go through a box per diaper.
Yeah.
I felt like I was wasting alittle bit.
But then again, I drive anelectric car, so waste out.
I have the scale ofenvironment you're saving in.
Yeah, yeah.
So I always do that.
I, I, I'll throw a, I'll throwa soda can in the trash.
What, what are you doing?
I'm like, I drive an electric car.
I can do this.
It's, it's, it's like the NWpass, but for recycling.

(36:12):
Like, I have the recycling pass.
If I was black, I could say that.
If I, but since it'srecycling, I drive an electric car,
I can throw a can in the trash.
Regular trash.
Speaking of recycling, realquick, so you know how I, I bitched
about how, like, they camedown with all these rules, like,
you can't bag and the thingyou have to unload everything, and
it can't be like this, and ithas to be this, and you can't do

(36:34):
this, and you can't.
I guess we were so bad at itthat the recycling company fired
the city of Winter Garden, sowe have no more recycling anymore.
Oh, wow.
Wow.
Yeah.
Like, they took our bins and everything.
Welcome to Trump's America.
I haven't had it for years.

(36:55):
Like, every place I've livednow hasn't had it.
Right.
I think we're the last cityin, in Florida that had it.
I'm so glad we derailedChris's story for recycling.
Well, I don't even rememberwhat I was talking about.
Smearing on my face.
Yeah, she had a cold.
She got over it.
I didn't get it, though.
I made sure while she was,while she had the cold, I made sure

(37:18):
I was on a strict, strict dietof McDonald's, which everyone knows
boosts the antibodies.
Right.
I think RFK is actuallyimplementing that.
But anyway, there's so manygerms in the McDonald's food that
you're just putting it in.
Like, it's.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I get excited when she getssick, so I'm like, man, she's gonna
be her Immune system is justso strong.

(37:38):
Now you gotta look at theglass half full or else you're just
upset about everything.
As a parent, I'm learning veryquickly too.
Right.
She's starting to stand onwhen grabbing things.
She's starting to, like, grabthings and stand up, which is kind
of annoying because she justcomes over and I think she's being
cute.
And then she starts climbing,Climbing me and grabbing anything
she can grab onto, which isusually my beard or my hair.

(37:59):
I'm not very tall.
She's almost as tall as me.
It's a little alarming.
I'm so used to, like, sittingdown and stuff.
Now when she stands up, I'mlike, we're almost eye to eye and
she's got two little teethcoming in the top and she has the
two teeth in the bottom.
And again, stuff that I neverthought I'd think about.
Like her two teeth coming inthe bottom, but one's a little crooked.

(38:21):
I'm like, man, there's $8,000on braces right there.
I'm just looking.
I'm just starting for braces now.
No, now's the.
Like, you can.
You can kind of help form it.
So, like, as it comes in, justpush it a little bit each day.
You'll be fine.
Yeah, it's a baby.
Like, that's.
They have soft spots in their head.
So they have soft spots intheir gums.
Just move the teeth over.
I have sculpted her head.

(38:43):
So.
Damn teeth.
My teeth are up.
My teeth are pretty.
That's because I didn't knowback then.
I didn't know that you didn'thold your child until he was.
Yeah, 22.
Really wasn't around thatmuch, so, you know.
So I'll have to sculpt the teeth.
I'm gonna double check withChat GPT real quick and then I'll
do it.
Yeah, get her a mouth guard.

(39:04):
Like a Steph Curry mouth guard.
Oh, yeah.
It's a good idea.
Yeah, that's a really good idea.
Muzzle.
Maybe we'll do is wire her jawshut at the age of eight months.
And I mean, you could do that.
So they.
So they come in.
So they come in straight.
Okay, so mouth guard.
So the teeth grow in straight.
Correct.
Or gay.

(39:24):
Or gay.
I don't discriminate.
They can come in any way they want.
They can grow in as an ally.
Yes, yes.
Allied.
Maybe that's what she has then.
Maybe she's just an ally from birth.
Not straight teeth.
She has allied teeth.
That's what I'm gonna say.
Anyway, when her teeth are,like, just so messed up when she's

(39:47):
old.
Why didn't you do this?
Because you're an ally.
But if she was gay.
The gays have perfect teeth.
Oh, well, too.
So if she's not gay, she hasto show people that she supports.
So that's why her teeth arenot straight.
Let's see.
I, I.
This is.
That's what I'm gonna tell her.
I'm gonna just be thankingmyself that I'm saving $8,000 on

(40:07):
freezes, teaching a good lesson.
She's gonna be like, dad, whydidn't you ever get my teeth fixed?
Because we don't say straightin this house.
Oh, my God.
That's.
There's your answer.
Darren.
Nick, how organized are your teeth?

(40:33):
Your pantries and closets and whatnot?
I started my new year, new mething, and it lasted about a week.
Oh, that's a pretty long time.
I got through the pantry.
I claim I have this, like,test thing that I printed out, and
it's basically like one itemor one place in the house per week,
and the first week was cleanout the pantry.

(40:55):
So I did that and found notone, not two, but five containers
of beef broth.
Ooh, bone broth or regular?
Just regular beef broth.
Just regular beef broth?
Yeah.
Beef broth guy.
No, I've never cooked withbeef Roth, so the only person that

(41:16):
would have bought it is my husband.
And let me tell you this.
So beef Roth.
I.
Did we talk about this?
No.
No.
So beef broth, like, when youbuy it on the store, it lasts like
two years or something, right?
I guess.
I'd assume.
Yeah, I'd assume it lasts fora while.
It's like a can.
Good.
It lasts forever.
These expired in 2022 too, sothat means we've had them since probably

(41:39):
before the pandemic.
So maybe, maybe they ran outof toilet paper and he just switched
to beef broth.
I don't know.
It's like, well, I couldn'tget you any toilet paper, but here's
four things.
Five.
Five.
Not only that, I found a canof beef broth.
So they make it in cans, too, apparently.
Don't know what you use itfor, but threw that crap out.

(42:01):
And then I have just not had energy.
Oh.
I've been busy working, so Ihaven't had time to do everything
else.
Salts on top of.
School was canceled last weekbecause of snow, and tomorrow we
already have a cancellationbecause it's going to be negative
8 degrees outside.
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
So we literally Just got aphone call like an hour ago saying
school's canceled tomorrow already.
Meanwhile, Sarah and I aredying here.

(42:21):
It's like 43.
Oh my God.
Awful.
I could use that.
I thought you were dyingbecause it's 47.
Go ahead.
Dying.
I'm enjoying it a little bitbecause I know that we're gonna absolutely,
absolutely hate it when it's105 degrees.
We will, we will.
But I'll tell you this.
Last week, and I don't mindthe cold either, but it's been cold

(42:42):
and gloomy.
I haven't seen the sun in a week.
I need some vitamin D.
Like it's, it's been.
You need some vitamin what?
The sun produces vitamin D.
I know.
Somebody else produces somevitamin D.
Maybe.
A little vitamin C as well.
I prefer vitamin P anyway.

(43:04):
Penis.
So anyway, Nick, go ahead.
Sorry.
I mean, that's really about it.
My cleaning process, it's,it's just been busy right now and
I heard you guys had anorganizer though.
We did, we did.
So, Sarah, your, your, yourpantry, nice and organized.
Oh, of course.

(43:25):
Everything in my house is organized.
Everything, I'm sure, haslabels and, and in its own containers.
They do.
I can tell by your face they do.
No, I've been waiting to buythe perfect label maker, but I do
want one.
I am that person.
I know, but everything isorganized and everybody knows exactly
where it goes.
Like I, I'm very particularabout stuff.

(43:49):
Nice.
It's my one fault.
To a fault, you said.
Yeah, probably.
So we've got this pantry andthis pantry.
Like the pantry is not thesize proportion to the rest of the
house.
Like it's this teeny, tinylittle pantry.
And I would say it's anaverage size pantry.
It's not the size of my kitchen.

(44:10):
It's the perfect size pantry.
Sarah says it's probably thesize of her kitchen.
So this.
I don't even know that Chriscould fit in my pantry.
It's so small.
Oh, thank you.
I did lose a little bit of weight.
Skinny, not that small.
So I have, I have over theyears have tried to clean it out

(44:31):
and organize it and I justlose this battle because, you know,
Rachel comes home with fivebags and then it gets just thrown
in there.
So like every time I clean it,there's Nick to your point.
With the five beef bases, Iwill find about four to six chicken
based things.
I'll find eight to ten cans ofgreen beans.
And I'm like, like we, like,she has no idea what, what we have

(44:55):
in here.
So she just keeps buying it.
So she hired an organizer, andI'm like, isn't that your job?
Why are you outsourcing this?
And she's like, don't yououtsource the cleaning company?
And I'm like, touche.
So this lady comes over, andthey become best friends.
Like, I.

(45:16):
It would not have shocked meif I came home to them making out.
They.
Are you.
Just like that.
And I guess he'd really becoming home, huh?
Yeah, I would have been cominghome at that point.
Talk about a homecoming.
Yep.
Coming all over the home andthen arriving.
So.
No, just coming.

(45:36):
So it.
It.
She did a really good job.
Everything is labeled now.
Everything is.
Is, you know, in its place and.
And perfect and.
But I.
I guess people do that for a living.
They go in and they organizepeople's pantries, not just the pantry.
That's my dream job, Sarah.
You got to get into it.

(45:57):
I mean, I think this ladycharged us, like, 400 bucks for eight
hours.
Oh, my gosh.
Eight to eight.
Hold on.
It took eight hours toorganize the pantry and everything
that got organized in the kitchen?
Yeah, yeah.
The whole kitchen.
Crazy.
Including under the sink.
I know.
My sink was a.
That was a disaster.
I know.
Rachel showed me yesterday.
She was very proud.
She was like.

(46:18):
It was like, come here, or you.
Need to look at all this plumbing.
Yeah, that would be me.
100%, actually.
I know that that's me.
Why haven't I hung out withRachel yet?
I.
I don't think she exists.
I want to come over to yourhouse and see your organized kitchen
now.
Okay.
And have a glass of wine with.
Her, and then you can visit.

(46:45):
I can't wait for the title ofthis episode.
We'll have to make that happen.
We'll have to make that.
It's just the problem is the schedule.
We have three different typesof schedules.
Between you, you and Lewis,and then me, and then Rachel, because
Rachel has, like, a big personjob where she works Monday through

(47:06):
Friday.
Like, she.
She's off on weekends, soshe's got, like, a real job.
And you, me and Lewis, we workin hospitality and restaurants, so,
like, our schedule's all overthe place.
And then I'm off Sundays and Mondays.
So, like, Saturday night wouldbe a great night, but, like, you
guys work Sunday morning.
Don't sell yourself short.
I would consider any job thatyou hold a big person job.

(47:32):
Got him.
That was funny.
All right, you guys ready to play?
Jersey man.
Florida man.
Yeah.
Where the Flipping a fanboat,a crash in a truck.
These states are filled withpeople who suck.
So it's time for us to play.
New Jersey man versus Florida man.

(47:56):
Every week, game master Ryanbrings us two news stories.
One is from Jersey, one isfrom Florida.
It's up to us to determinewhich one is which.
Take it away, Ryan.
Hey, this is Ryan.
You're in the field newsreporter for the Parents Night out
news team.
And I want to thank Mags or SGor Giles Garmin, whatever the hell
his name is for filling in forme last week.

(48:17):
And I want to thank Scott forgiving me the paid day off.
I spent my January 6th likeevery red blooded American should
at the new Gulf of America.
I was there for the ceremonywhen they drained the Gulf and then
immediately refilled it withthe tears of liberals.
It was glorious.
I also want to wish everybodya happy New Year.
I spent that night waiting forthe ball to drop, which Scott has
been waiting for for 45 yearsor so.

(48:40):
Anyways, today I'm reportingto you live from a hibachi place
in New Jersey where they areapparently setting Bino Grinch hobbits
on.
Everybody knows that's thebest way to get rid of one.
Upon seeing video of theflaming gremlin, Scott said.
Wow, you pulled out so quick.
Quick?
Well, of course he did, Scott,he doesn't want a.
Darren.
Sorry, Darren.
Scott has eaten nothing buthibachi since Chris said they, quote,

(49:02):
put Saki and little Japaneseboys there.
Anyway, Sarah, what do youthink of this?
Speaking of Sarah, I was alittle disappointed to hear that
your mother got you the samegift that I did.
Being Jewish, I got you a fireblanket too.
You can never be too safe, right?
We are just receiving wordthat a man in Florida has just been
arrested due to evidence foundon his Google glasses.

(49:25):
We actually have the evidence.
What did this man Google?
Chloroform.
We also have part of theconversation he had with a minor.
Do you want to hold the.
Hold it and play with it.
Sounds like uncle got got.
Got arrested.
Seems like a pretty open andshut case.
Speaking of terrible people,let's get into this week's stories
from New Jersey and Florida.
And for our first story, awoman spends $25,000 on TikTok.

(49:49):
And for our second story,rough sex leads to shots fire.
That Ohio.
Wow, I.
I forgot about the albino Grinch.
Do you remember that, Chris?
No.
Yeah, you were.
Yeah.
Emily had taken a picture and you.

(50:09):
Were in the back at night at all.
You looked like an albino Grinch.
Yeah, like, what is that?
I have no.
Actually no idea.
What you're talking about.
Okay, Sounds funny though.
We've got.
We've got TikTok overspenderand we've got shots fired after a
great night of sex.
Nick, what do you think?
I feel like all the TikTokvideos come from Florida, so let's

(50:30):
go with that.
All right.
Darren, it's tough because Iknow a TikTok overspender, but I
also fire some shots everytime I have some.
So I'm gonna say tick tock Florida.
Sarah.
I just feel bad for Rachelbeing on this episode this week.
I'm gonna go tick tock, Flor.

(50:51):
Chris.
I'm gonna go Shots Fired New Jersey.
Because I don't think ShotsFired Florida would even make the
news.
So I think he's throwing usfor a loop because we're all gonna,
you know, make the joke.
Oh, Scott.
The Tik Tok overspender.
So it's got to be Florida.
So I'm gonna say Tik Tokoverspender is New Jersey and Shots

(51:12):
Fired Florida.
Let's find out the answer.
So our first story is from NewJersey where a 65 year old woman
spent $25,000 on Tik Tok.
Most of this money was spenton TikTok battles.
I know another elderly manthat spent almost this much going
through a midlife crisis on TikTok.

(51:32):
So that means.
Our second story is fromFlorida where a 61 year old man and
his 33 year old boyfriend weregetting sexually intimate.
When things got a little outof hand, the younger man smacked
the 61 year old man's butt alittle bit too hard, which led to
an argument and then shotsfucking fired.
No one was injured by the shots.
It's too bad the shots didn'thit the other man and paralyze him

(51:53):
because then he'd be more ofSean's type.
We all know Sean likes his mento be fruits and vegetables.
And in other news, an Oklahomaman driving a stolen vehicle is caught
with a rattlesnake, uraniumwhiskey and a firearm.
What?
What?
Is a man not allowed to havehobbies anymore?
Anyways, that's it for me this week.
Back to you guys.
Thank you so much, Ryan.
I can just imagine thisFlorida couple, right?

(52:14):
This gay couple having sex andthey're in Florida.
So the guy, the guy I tried,the guy smacks him on the ass like,
hey, I'm not that gay.
Tell me you live in a redstate without telling me you live
in.
A red state, right?
So, Chris, something that wetalked about.
A couple.
We were.

(52:34):
We were Going through andtalking about Christmas.
And I had it written down totalk about.
For some reason we didn't talkabout it.
And we specifically said, makesure we talk about this.
And we didn't.
But you got a really coolChristmas gift gift.
Oh, I did.
I did.
So it wasn't a Christmas gift actually.
It was just announced on aChristmas kind of a.
It was kind of a scamChristmas gift.
Right?
Okay.
Yeah, it was kind of.

(52:55):
Listen, it was.
She didn't actually get meanything else.
Now to think of it.
And it's not even.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
No, the reason it was given.
Enough.
The reason it was given me onChristmas so that everyone could
watch.
Wait a second.
Wait.
But anyway.
Wow.
Wait a second.
So we're at my parents houseand Emily gives me a box.

(53:21):
Very carefully, choose my words.
Gives me a.
All right, so you came at your parent.
You came to your parents housewhen Emily gave you a box?
Actually, yes.
She gave it to you on Christmas.
Everyone whipped out their phones.
I'm like, what is going on?
Why are, why are you doingthis in the middle of the.
No.
So, so, so why is everyonerecording this?

(53:45):
And I'm thinking, man, thiscould be a really good Christmas
gift, right?
So I'm thinking Eagles tickets.
You got to be Eagles ticket.
I've been doing Eagles game ina while.
Don't love going to Eagles.
Oh, did you do that thingwhere you're like, did you give me
Eagles tickets?
I did not.
No, I did not.
No.
Learn my lesson the hard way.
And so I'm opening the gift.
Gift.
Nick wants you to learn his lesson.

(54:06):
The hard way and then learnthat plenty of times.
I don't think I learned anymore.
And I opened, I opened this upand the first.
The piece of paper says,there's no better way to spend your
30th birthday.
At first, my damn.
I'm turning 30.
And then I'm like, oh, mygosh, I got like box seats to the
Eagles game, right?
Like, I'm getting like, I'mgetting like nice, like, like really

(54:27):
nice seats.
And I, I take off the, thething and I see a Disney shirt in
my size triple xl.
I see.
And I see a.
A woman's Disney shirt.
Children's triplex, by the way.
I see a woman's shirt, whichis for Emily, kind of selfish, actually

(54:48):
giving herself a gift in my gift.
But anyway, and I'm so excited.
And then I see a baby size one.
I'm pretty pissed.
I'M like, man, now I gottawatch a baby in Disney.
No, I'm just kidding.
Now I got so excited.
And, and the craziest part is,well, first of all, if you guys didn't
understand this, Emily boughtme a trip to Disney world for my

(55:09):
30th birthday.
Meanwhile, I was like, damn.
Remy just commented, box seatsto the Eagles game.
Let's go.
I'm going to the super bowl on Sunday.
Remy, you believe it?
And it's so you guys.
I'm not very impressed thatNick kept a secret.
I can.
I know Nick can keep a secret.
Secret.
I know Nick be.
Nick booked the whole thing.

(55:30):
I booked it and I have it inmy system that we use for our customer
stuff.
I literally have a thing inthere that says keep it a surprise.
Like it turns my entire screenred like crack.
I can't say anything.
I will say I can't believe Scott.
Didn'T say I almost blew it.
Before you get to the joke, Iwill say if you want to book a surprise

(55:50):
vacation or an aspect of avacation, that's a surprise.
There's nobody better in thebusiness than Nick at Sandpiper Vacations.
Because my wife got me thatreally cool over the water bungalow
in, in Jamaica that I didn'tknow was coming.
I thought we were gonna have aswim up suite and then we ended up.
Did you come in Jamaica?
I did several times.

(56:12):
And then, you know, we got.
So Nick is really good abouthelping you plan these surprises
and keep the.
The secrets.
So book him.
Reach out to him.
Www.sandpipervacations.comTell him that the no new friends
podcast sent you or Parents night.
Out or Disney verse or Chriswhatever, anybody.

(56:35):
Who the is Jeremy Hubsmith?
Chris, you look like a 40 yearold homeless guy that should live
under a bridge and eat thepolluted muscles and claim they are
a a X delic delicacy.
Okay, he.
It.
It took him a couple minutes,but he did spell delicacy right.
That's Chef.
Proud of you, Chef.

(56:56):
You show some goddamn respect.
He's tall.
He said I should.
He said, first of all, he saidI'm 40 and I live under a bridge.
I moved from my bridge likethree years ago.
I did live under a bridge foran extended period of time period
in my life.
Thank you for bringing thatup, Jeremy.
So anyway, America though, you're.

(57:16):
You're, you're, you're comingto Disney.
I am.
And I'm also taking a vacationin April.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Really, really excited.
I guess that's it.
I'm trying to think ofanything else.
I'm really excited, too,because not only am I going to see

(57:37):
my.
My, like, some of my bestfriends, but I'm also going to have
you guys babysit while I goon, like, rising.
That's what we happen.
Chris, here's the crazy thing.
You know you said you weresurprised that I knew about this
for, like, a year.
Yeah.
Emily was saying that youdidn't have much of a reaction, and

(57:57):
she's like, is Scott okay?
I was going through something.
I was like, no, actually, he's not.
But he just met Kevin Brasserdale.
So can I bring up somethingreal quick?
So, as the token gay person onthis podcast, I feel like tokenish
as.

(58:18):
As the original.
Thank you, homosexual on here.
I feel like there's somethingthat needs to be brought up that
is also happening today.
And I need you guys to moveout of the way because I think I'm
straight today.
Nick's on the mic, so it'stime to take notice.
And if you don't like it,that's homophobic.
Stay the hell out of his way.

(58:38):
Move.
I'm straight.
Straight.
I'm very straight, bro.
We didn't talk about this at all.
You've been talking aboutsports stuff, and apparently there's
a game happening right now.
Now, as we are recording this,the biggest game of the year between
the Ohio State University isplaying some Irish little man.

(59:03):
So, Chris, are you playing?
I just got done.
Yeah, it's halftime.
Awesome.
Okay, so it's half time.
The soccer team's winning.
They got the balls into thelittle hole thing, and I think they're
winning.
They are.
Right now, Ohio state is up 21to 7.

(59:24):
Yeah.
So go, go sports.
Go Red Scarlets.
Oh, we're scarlet and gray.
I forgot.
You know what's so funny is.
Is in our group text, Nicksays, so we're recording during the
national championship game.
Ohio State's plague.
And I couldn't even muster upanything to say.
I was laughing so hard.
I was like, how does Nick knowthere's a game going on?

(59:45):
We have a group chat with mycousins, and they're all having a
party tonight.
But you know what?
I decided to hang out with you guys.
Thanks, buddy.
They're watching sports, and Iwould have no clue what was going
on anyway, so I would havebeen cheering for the striped guys
in the.
In the discord.
Sophisticated gentleman islike, you dare record during the
Ohio State game?
Yeah.
And I'm like, ain't none ofy'all gonna be watching the damn

(01:00:06):
football game.
It's also Martin Luther King Jr.
Day too.
We didn't talk about that.
But we didn't.
Which is the actual.
Texted me telling me not tobring it up.
I don't know why.
One of those off topic limits.
Yes.
Happy MLK day, everybody.
There's.
There's just a lot going onand Go, go sports.
Go Ohio State.

(01:00:27):
I forgot the college footballwas still even happening.
I think just because it'sliterally two states that are next
to each other.
It's like, why.
Why are we playing?
I don't know where we'replaying at.
Why couldn't it be in Ohio?
It's cold here.
That's why.
But I don't.
Where is the game?
I think it's in like Georgiaor something.
Peach bowl.
That.
It's probably in the beach.
It's somewhere.
Somewhere.

(01:00:48):
They're just spending a lot ofmore money to travel and, and get
a day off school tomorrow.
That's why not in the Palisades.
Oh, I'm just saying I'mgetting probably.
No, I'm dead serious.
That's a really good.
So freeze now.
It's a really good observationon my part, actually.
I'm just trying to chat.
Be chat.
GBT for you guys.

(01:01:08):
You're such a good observer, Chris.
Thank you.
That's a really good observation.
Ohio has won eight nationalchampionship titles and they're underway
till their ninth, which is amazing.
Go, go.
Head coach Ryan Day.
Everybody wanted.
They wanted to fire him too.
Can we talk about that?
So all tick tock for tick tock.

(01:01:32):
I wouldn't know.
Yeah, I don't watch it.
Everybody from Ohio hated theguy because he's lost to Michigan
for the past like four yearsnow or something.
Because Michigan's a rivalry.
I don't know.
They hate each other becauseof colors.
The Bloods and the Crips.
It's.
It's what it is.
And the whites, they don't.
They don't like the blue inyour house.
Maybe not in his house.

(01:01:53):
In the studio.
Only.
Only during the golden age, Chris.
Oh, that's right.
Right.
So that's my sports update.
Thanks.
We should get a week.
Oh, my God.
We should get a weekly sportsupdate from Nick.
That actually is a great idea.

(01:02:14):
That's a really funny idea.
That might last longer than.
Almost as good as doing aweekly update.
Of what?
The show.
What happened last week on theshow that was going to happen every
week.
It was a dead Mary bit.
Do you not remember that?
Oh, yeah.
She did it once.
She did it once.
Yeah.
To try it is.
I mean, in all reality, I.
I knew what happened infootball because I went to some of

(01:02:37):
the games back in the day, butI don't care.
Let's be honest.
You the bleachers.
Let's be honest.
I.
I wish I started watchingMarcher man, which our Marcher Man's
really good, guys.
They actually.
Ohio State Marching man isreally good.
Not as good as Florida State, but.
I enjoy them so much that Ithink I could be gay.
That could be me.
I'd let you sit on my tuba.

(01:03:00):
I got a trunk on her justthinking about them.
Chris, you got any Cliff Notes?
I do.
It's been quite the show.
A lot of stuff's happened, so nothing.
Can stop this little boy fromrecapping the day.
The Chris is Cliffs Notes way.

(01:03:23):
So I watched the inaugurationtoday, and I made up a drinking game
while watching it.
I.
I took a shot whenever I saw aperson of color in the capital rotunda.
Now, it got to the point whereI had to start looking up people's
23andmes.
And I did dig to find out thatJD Vance is actually 2% Cherokee.
So I was able to take one shot today.
Guys.

(01:03:44):
So many different shades of white.
We started off the podcastsaying that JD Vance looked like
a puppet that you could stickyour fist up and control.
Scott also looks like apuppet, but he's like one of those
ones where you need threepeople to control.
We talked about the Tick Tockband, and Scott talked about how
he was in turmoil when it shut down.
I haven't seen a person thatsurprised since Joe Biden was told

(01:04:05):
he was president.
Today, Scott was describinghow he would try to watch adult films
without paying for them.
In the 80s.
He could kind of see it if heturned the knob the right way and
poke it would poke through alittle bit.
It just sounds like Rachellooking for your penis.
Kind of see it if you twist.
The right way, tilt your headinside, squeak your eyes.
It's like one of those 4D stereograms.

(01:04:27):
Scott told us that he recentlyhired an organizer, which surprised
me.
Scott, you're a great organizer.
You organize this podcast.
You also organize all yourclan meetings.
And lastly, Scott, I'm gladthat Trump commuted your sentence
today so you can make the podcast.
I'm glad the president has allhis priorities in the right place.
Thank you.
Thank you for all your service.

(01:04:50):
You wanted the Elon Musksalute to.
To take us out.
Oh, no, I don't.
I don't.
The friendly wave.
Anybody got anything Funcoming up with the kids this week.
No, no, I hate kids.
I don't know why I do.
They ruin everything.
Well, we will.
We gotta start thinking aboutthis because it's right around the

(01:05:12):
corner.
The third annual Friendy Awards.
Is it the Friendies or is itthe Audis?
We.
We are all outies.
That's a horrible name.
I'll cut that.
I don't even pretend that Iever said that.
Well, I mean, we're still.
We're parents night out with.
Oh, that's right.
That's right.
It can still be the friendies.
Yeah, it can be the friendies.

(01:05:33):
Didn't you just do thefriendies last month?
We did it in March of lastyear, so we'll do it again in March.
But we got.
It's friendy season.
The nominations will start,you know, rolling out the academy.
We'll start reviewing all.
All of the.
Yep.
So Darren, Darren and Chriswill come up with categories over
the next week or so and thenwe'll start talking about that.
Do it once and then you getroped in.

(01:05:54):
Yep.
Darren, Darren, you know what?
I.
I might need a co host thisyear, so if you know anybody.
Damn.
Got me.
No, I think.
I think I might need a wiseman to be the co host this year.
I think that would be.
That would be fun.
I think we could tag team thisthing because we've tag teamed in
the past and boy, are we agood boy.

(01:06:14):
Are we good boy.
Boy.
Boy me.
Go ahead.
All right, so for the lasttime, before I kill this joke, you
can connect with us.
All of our social media linksare right there on our website Non
new friends podcast dot com.
While you're there, check outour really sweet merchandise.

(01:06:35):
Join our clubhouse.
Become a friend with benefitsfor as low as $2 a month.
You got all those sorts ofexclusive benefits.
Don't forget to leave us afive star review and rating on Spotify,
on Google, on Apple music.
All that good stuff.
It really, really helps us out.
Check us out on YouTube everyMonday live when we record this thing.

(01:06:57):
And then also on the TikTok onbehalf of Giles Garmin, game master
Ryan, our producer, Alex the Wiseman.
Darren.com.
nick, Sarah, Chris.
I'm Scott.
Got.
Thank you so much for listening.
We'll see you next time.
Turn it off.

(01:07:18):
I totally forgot about thepleasure allegiance part.
See you later, Poopy Bus Hold.

(01:07:39):
Scott, Chris, Sarah.
And Naked tale to be told.
Welcome to the podcast.
We're adulting unfolds.
We're adulting unfolds.
We're adulting unfolds.