February 27, 2025 • 42 mins
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346: Pastor Plek and Pastor Holland tackle the importance of being prepared for marriage through insightful analogies and personal experiences. Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their readiness for commitment and the role of parents in guiding their children's relationship education.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
and welcome back to pastor plex podcast.
We are live here in studio inwells branch, austin texas,
along with holland, greg helloand holland.
Uh, holland helped me knockthis sermon out this past sunday
by all the just the deep study,all of the vigorous research,
(00:25):
and I got some of the chartsfrom Holland this week, so I was
super grateful for that.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
I am super grateful to know that you use them.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Yeah, yeah, I did.
I did, in fact.
Here's what we talked about.
We talked about that you wantto make sure that you're ready
before you jump into marriage,and here's my analogy.
All right, did you know that Iworked at McDonald's?
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Yes, and my very first day cooking fish and filet
Filet of fish or fish and filetyou know what the problem is.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
I said fish and filet like 50 times and then it
wasn't until like the 51st timethat I said, oh crud, I mean
filet of fish, nice, and I don'teven know why, like as one who
worked at McDonald's.
This is like how you knowyou're getting old.
But maybe I think I wrote itwrong the first time and then I
just couldn't help myself.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
But anyway, you are getting old, I am getting old, I
am 48.
As of.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Sunday it was bad.
My age showed on my birthdaybecause I kept saying fish will
fly Filet-O-Fish.
So I was cooking thisFilet-O-Fish, right, 32 years
ago.
There I was, and as I'm cookingthe Filet-O-Fish I didn't
realize there was buttons andbeepers that went off to let you
know how long you're supposedto cook the Filet of fish.
And so I just was like gonnafeel it out.
(01:43):
Yeah, so you know.
And you don't want to put yourhand in the hot grease because
that would hurt, right.
And in fact one time I did takea fry thing.
It hit my arm and I had a scarof like railroad track of grease
fryer thing on my elbow or armfor like, yeah, it was wild.
So, elbow or arm for like, yeah, it was wild.
(02:06):
So anyway, I'm sitting therewatching the filet-o-fish and
I'm like that looks good, it'slike it's time, and so I pull it
out.
It looked good to me, I servedit and then, about 30 minutes
later, the manager comes runningback to the back furious as to
who would have served uncookedfilet-o-fish and it was uncooked
now at 16.
do you think I tookresponsibility for that?
Probably not, not, nope, I justgo don't know what happened.
(02:27):
But it was totally me and Iapologize and I own it.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Now you know what that brings to mind for me.
Tell me, have you I mean, haveyou ever had?
Did you ever eat theFilet-O-Fish?
Yeah, like, when it's fullycooked it is worth the wait it
is.
That's just my personal opinion, though I don't know if you
agree with that or not, but whatdo you think about that?
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Yeah, you have to have the right tartar sauce on
it.
It is absolutely delicious,Worth the wait.
You would say, yeah, it's soworth the wait and that brings
us to the analogy about sex andmarriage that it is worth the
wait, man what a perfect analogy.
Yeah it was Now in preachingpractice.
I was laughed at over and overagain and nobody could believe
(03:12):
in preaching practice.
I would actually go forward anduse that, but I did.
That's right.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
And that's what makes you you.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Okay, you know what?
I am willing to go a little bitbeyond, outside the norm, to
get something to land.
And did it land 100% no, butthat's not the important thing.
The important thing is you getwhere I'm going, and that's
important.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
You know, I think it landed where it needed to land
it needed and whoever neededthat.
They got it.
They got it you know what theywere.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
Like I'm half-baked all right, sorry I'm out of
control okay, all right.
Uh, so we, we went into the textand the text talked about this
girl having a dream sequence.
Probably before she's married.
She's like on my bed by night.
I sought him, whom my soulloves.
I sought him.
Then she's like I'll seek him.
She went about the city streetsand the city squares and she's
(04:07):
him, but she couldn't find him.
She goes to the police officers, the watchman of the night, and
she's like have you seen him?
And the big thing I took awayfrom that is seeking a spouse is
actually good.
Yeah, it's a desire, that's agood desire, very good.
He who finds a wife finds agood thing.
And apparently you have to lookfor him.
That's right.
And so I said you know?
(04:28):
So I don't know.
Did you ever get told this whenyou were single?
When you're not looking, that'swhen you'll find a spouse.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Yeah, it was the advice of just like just seek
God, Right, yeah, it was theadvice of just seek God, run
hard after God and then, in histiming, he'll bring you a spouse
.
So what are your thoughts onthat?
Because in a sense I fullyagree with that and there's
another sense that I think it'sincomplete.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
Right, that was my sense.
It's like, of course you've gotto seek God.
But you know what?
I also get hungry for food, andwhen I get hungry for food I
don't just sit in my house andgo Lord, it is time for you to
bring me my meal.
I get out of my house and I goto McDonald's and I get my paleo
fish Wow, Full circle, broughtit back, right back in.
(05:23):
Or actually, right now I'm on athing where you know hgb, the
little meals are alreadypre-made yeah I love those like,
like the tv dinners in thefreezer, or what do you?
Speaker 2 (05:35):
is that not what you meant?
Oh, that's exactly right okay,they're like tv, but they're way
better than a TV dude.
Oh, okay.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
Yeah, they're not frozen, they're refrigerated.
Oh, yeah, step up Listen,that's where I am next level,
anyway, so so you go out and getit.
I go-.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
You trust God to provide for you and you
understand that you have a role,Like you have a garden in your
backyard, that's right.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
You go and water it, you tend to it and then you grow
your garden, you cut yourvegetables and bam, you make
yourself some soup.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Amen, Tomato soup coming up in a couple months.
I can't wait.
Yeah, I'll bring you some, so Ithink that's the problem.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
I think a lot of times people say you know, you
just need to stop looking andlet God bring the one, and you
don't do that with anything else.
If someone did that with a job,like you know, I'm just waiting
for God to bring me the rightjob.
And they never put a resume out, they never got on LinkedIn,
they didn't apply to any jobs,they didn't go to Indeed, they
(06:35):
didn't go to monstercom, theydidn't do whatever it is that
you do when you're looking for ajob Job seekers network, you
can go about a bazilliondifferent places.
If they never did that and yousaid, like the Lord's going to
bring me one If we would all go,that's one lazy, that is two
like not biblical.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
Right, yeah, but then so that that's.
There's the sense of like.
You know your role andresponsibility to do something
for it, but there's also likethe like.
I do think the idea of like runhard after God.
That puts you on the trajectorywhere you ought to be looking.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
Right.
It puts you around the rightpeople.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
Yeah, like I think of like, you think of like Ruth
and Boaz, and even the Shulamitewoman and Solomon in this song.
She, you know, she was lookingin the fields where he was
tending his flock.
You know the Ruth went into thefields where the Lord had,
where she felt like the Lord hadled her, and then that's where
(07:31):
she found Boaz, and so likethere is a sense where I would
say I would, I would agree,pursue God a hundred percent and
like.
That means like get involved inchurch, know, and like being uh
, filling your life with thethings of god and um church
community and that kind of stuff.
But then within that communitythere's also the aspect of like,
(07:52):
yeah, you can proactively seeka spouse so it's not like one or
the other.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Yeah, yeah, I like that.
So even within ruth it's likeby her doing the right thing,
yeah, taking care of hermother-in-law, yeah, it like she
didn't know that Boaz would bethis provisional dude.
It just because she wasconstantly doing the right thing
she was put in that position.
But even then she had to kindof let him know hey, I'm
available.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
Yeah, there was her pursuing God.
I'm going to make your God myGod.
I'm going to follow her,becoming a believer in God and
pursuing him.
But then the Lord did he?
He put Boaz right in her path.
But then there was, you know,back to her side again.
There was her kind of um, uh,taking the initiative to, like
you said.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
Hey, I'm available.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
And so, like it is a mixture, it's like God putting
someone in your path, uh, andyou just seeking God as your
first priority and you you know,making a move, okay.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
So here's the next part I talked about, which might
be controversial.
I said parents should betraining their children on what
kind of a person to be as aspouse and who they should be
looking for, and talking aboutit regularly.
How is?
Speaker 2 (09:01):
that controversial Explain, because what people,
what parents have said— thatsounds so normal to me.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
I know it sounds so normal, but we also have a lot
of people that say somethinglike this Like I'm going to let
my kids figure out their faith,like, whatever they want to
believe, I'm going to let thembelieve.
And I'm like it's so weirdabout how, the most important
thing of their life, we don'ttrain them.
And I think that's whyrelationships are such train
(09:32):
wrecks now is because nobody wasever trained.
Nobody sat down and said, hey,this is what you're looking for
in a godly woman.
Yeah, these are the attributes,these are the character traits.
Um, let's read the bibletogether, let's study it to see
if, um, does this woman meet thecriteria set forth in what a
godly woman looks like, beforewe even go down the path of
falling in love?
Yeah, usually what happens?
We fall in love and then wesort of like, well, they could
be, they've got all thispotential Right and we marry on
potential based on what we'veseen.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Now, to an extent, we're all marrying potential
right, yeah, sure, yeah, but Imean in the sense of we all have
room to grow.
That's what you mean right.
Yeah, what I always say when itcomes to that is I say Mary
proof, not potential.
So like Mary proof, meaning youhave seen that this person is
(10:14):
who they say they are and thatthat lines up with scripture.
And what a scripture calls tobe, you know, calls a man or a
woman to be so Mary proof, notpotential.
Scripture calls a man or awoman to be so marry proof, not
potential.
I think that would save so manyrelationships by ending them,
save so many people from theheartache of marrying potential
and then they're in a miserablemarriage where the person they
(10:35):
thought they were going tobecome X, y or Z and they never
do.
But if you marry proof, notpotential, you save yourself
from that.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
Yeah, how about somebody that's already in a
marriage?
That married potential and theproof never came.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
Ken, before that could just go back to the
country.
You know you said it was acontroversial question I just
want to throw out there.
There's this book.
It's a really old book, Ooh,ancient, 1622 edition.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
I love it it's called Before the 1689 First London
Baptist Confession.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
There you go, second London Baptist.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Second.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
London Baptist Come on, dang it.
Of Domestical Duties, williamGouge.
So this book's kind ofcontroversial in that it is
essentially an exposition andapplication of Ephesians 5 and 6
about marriage and children.
Yeah, application of Ephesians5 and 6 about marriage and
children, but breaking downpretty much every single
possible way that those versescould be applied.
And so it's like how a husbandloves his wife when she is tired
(11:34):
, how a husband loves his wifeduring pregnancy, immediately
after the baby, what a mother'sresponsibility to her children
are during pregnancy, after the.
You know, when the children arethis age, how a child honors
his father, how a fatherdisciplines his child, but not
too sternly, but also not toogently.
But also, and just like I mean,it's just this long, long, long
book of domestical dutiesthat's what it's called and
(11:58):
anyway it goes into.
It has all these sections aboutwhat a parent's responsibility
to their children are.
And you know, basically, underthe idea of bring up your
children in the discipline andinstruction of the Lord, it's
like, okay, what does that mean?
And it's like teaching yourkids manners and it's fathers
you're responsible to.
You know, teach your children aprofitable trade and to prepare
(12:22):
them for a certain vocation.
Fathers, you are responsiblefor helping your children find a
spouse and know what to lookfor in a spouse.
So finding a spouse andpreparing them for a particular
vocation, those are two where Ifeel like have really dropped
off as something that parentssee as like their responsibility
.
I think we punted to school,right?
Speaker 1 (12:41):
I mean like the like, the school dances where you
learn romance, and uh, whatevercollege you go to is what is
where you learn whatever tradeyou're going to get.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
And you know, and it's kind oflike, do whatever your heart
desires.
And there is a sense in thatlike, uh, you know, we, we don't
want to like force our kids todo something.
Is the mindset behind that?
We don't want to force them tomarry this person or force them
into this thing, because youknow what if they're miserable
or something like that.
But, um, if you don't think ofit as like forcing something,
(13:11):
but think of it as just part ofyour discipleship here, you know
what a parent's responsibilityto their child is.
And so back to Song of Solomonand a spouse, part of your
responsibility is to teach yourchildren what one be fruitful
and multiply.
The normal pathway in life isto get married and have children
and raise a godly family.
And so you know, you got toknow what to look for and you
(13:32):
got to know how to become thekind of person who will be
successful in that man.
I love that.
I agree with you.
I think it is a parent'sresponsibility and there was a
day hundreds of years ago whereother theologians and pastors
taught this and wrote booksabout it.
Wow, like wouldn't that be wildif we like wrote a book that
said, like how to train your kida trade, yeah, I mean so I
(13:53):
don't know that's been like forme as a father with young
children, like something I'mthinking about a lot and like
just well-roundedhip, that's notjust memorize these Bible
verses obviously you're trainingthem in spiritual things, but
also marriage, vocation, uh,manners, you know all that kind
of stuff that goes into reallypreparing children for the world
.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
I think that's so hard and so good and, I think,
challenging, um.
So one of the things that Italked about is that you know
you've heard of the 10,000 hourrule.
Yeah, all right.
So Malcolm Gladwell, he didn'tcome up with it, but he
researched it and kind of tookthe guy where we originally made
it up and took it and ran withit.
But it takes about 10,000 hoursto master a craft, and so for
(14:37):
kids like you have, 10 years isabout if you did two hours a day
, that's 10 years, or if you'regoing to do 20 years, however
long, you know, and you did anhour a day, you know, I don't
know how much time, but like Iwanted.
When you think about disciplingyour kids, like challenging
them on scripture, challengingthem in God's word, praying with
them, having them go throughchallenging things, they have to
(14:59):
exercise their faith you knowthere's a lot of things that go
there, but I think we probablyhave had our kids master the
craft of video games more thanwe've had.
Master the craft ofrelationship, master the craft
of Bible reading, master thecraft of any of that.
In fact, that is convicting me,because I'm like.
There are times where I'm likehere's the switch.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
I need to function.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
And I think that's on all of us really to kind of
push through that and to engageour kids.
When it's so easy to punttowards technology, yep, 100%.
So in the same way, I think thereason why marriages really
struggle is that you were nevertrained in any of this, and so
when we're talking about such ahigh standard, I think, as I was
preaching I don't know if youknow I wasn't getting a lot of
(15:44):
feedback I think more people arelaughing more.
I think they're just like sortof like hanging on, you know,
white knuckling the talk,because we're talking about
something that very few peoplehave mastered.
Yeah, it's way easier to engagesomething when you feel like
you've got that, but on, when itcomes to relationships, sex,
that kind of stuff, I feel likewe are a very fragile in that as
(16:04):
a culture and society, and sothat's not something we've been
trained on, and so, therefore,this is a hard topic to come up
with, and it can bring a lot ofshame and maybe even
condemnation, because you'rereading God's word and you're
realizing oh man, I did not liveup to this and now I feel like
the devil's on me going.
You'll never measure up, youcan't measure up, nobody really
(16:25):
wants you, how could you saythat you're a Christian?
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Yeah, yeah.
And the really great news aboutChristianity is that God is a
redeemer and he's a sanctifierand he can take you know someone
who has just royally screwed uptheir marriage, you know in
every way you can think of andyou know in in his timing and um
(16:48):
, through patient, you know,sanctification process, he can
turn it into, uh, not only ahealthy marriage but a healthy
marriages, a healthy marriagethat blesses and teaches and is
a testimony to other healthymarriages about the power of God
to save.
So like there's no great thingabout Christianity is like
there's no like too far gonesituation and really like the
(17:11):
more far gone you are, the moreglory God is going to get.
You know, when he turns thingsaround and that's like God's
specialty in the Bible is hetake like he intentionally even
goes after like why did I pickIsrael?
You're the smallest and weakestand so I'm going to use you to
glorify my name because it's sounlikely that some, that a
(17:32):
people like you, would doanything significant.
You know, like that's basicallywhat he told him in Deuteronomy
.
It's so unlike like no onewould believe this other than
like the sovereign grace andmercy of God at work.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
Yeah, so you're kind of in a great position.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
If your marriage is like a train wreck, man, you are
in the perfect position for Godto do a miracle, and that you
would become a testimony of hisgrace, or if you're single and
you've been divorced or you'vehad like over and over, things
just went horribly, horriblywrong.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
Yeah, you might be the person god's going to use in
a really special, special way,not because of how great you've
been, but in spite of how wickedand dark you've been.
But your, your heart's beentransformed by the gospel.
Jesus came, died on the cross,rose to death, giving the whole
power of the holy spirit, andnow you're operating in freedom,
you're operating with noationand you're being a light to the
(18:22):
world.
So I do think, whether you'resingle or you're married, no
matter where you are, the coolthing about that the desire that
you might have for marriage isa desire even greater God has
for you as a person All right.
So she finds in the Song ofSolomon, the woman finds her
(18:42):
husband I think it's in a dreamsequence and then she brings him
.
She wouldn't let him go untilshe had brought him into my
mother's house, into the chamberof her who conceived me.
So it's kind of fun that shebrings her home to mom and then
there's this phrase I adjure you, o godly, spouse is worth the
wait, and so marry.
(19:11):
Proof, not potential.
I think that that is challenging, I think it's achievable and I
think that's the way Godintended it.
And honestly, because I thinkwhat happens with a lot of
people, they say I just want tobe happy, so I'm going to.
I've seen marriages go wrong,I've seen my parents, or I've
seen divorce or whatever.
And then you say I just want tobe happy and living together
(19:34):
takes away the drama of marriage.
And that couldn't be furtherfrom the truth, just even
statistically speaking.
Right, and those are a couple ofcharts you passed me, which one
was like those who are highlyreligious, with gender
traditional views have thehighest relationship quality
index number, like 73% ofrelational quality, versus those
(19:57):
who aren't.
In fact it's kind of weird.
It's like first is those whoare highly religious and have
gender traditional.
Second is highly religious,have gender progressive.
But then third, which I thoughtwas sort of interesting,
secular, shared genderprogressive.
So people who don't believe inGod but are probably adamant
about it and then they thinkthat you know, a man or woman
(20:17):
can exchange roles.
Those guys are most, they'relike.
Third best in the category ofrelational quality, which I
thought was sort of interesting.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Yeah, very interesting Cause if you, you
know you take the.
Well, I don't know, we couldtheorize all day about this
stuff but, um, yeah, the factthat highly religious, gender,
traditional um is the high, thehighest, uh, um, relational
satisfaction.
Is that what it is?
Yeah, and then one of the otherones.
I don't know if you use thisone, but odds of happy marriage
(20:48):
increase when spouse iscommitted, protective, religious
and romantic.
And you're just like man, likethis.
The data backs up the bible.
The bible like just, it's justvery clear right there across
the board.
Um, and what is it like?
Um, right there across theboard.
And what is it like?
1% of couples who pray togetherget divorced?
Only 1%, I think.
(21:10):
So when you, you know,sometimes people compare, like
the divorce rate in the churchand out of the church is like
the same.
I think that's been debunked.
But there that, if you, if youdon't just say people who like
kind of identify as Christian orsomething, but if you go to
actually pray together, it dropsdown to like 1%.
So you take all of thattogether and you go.
People who embrace traditionalroles I think biblical roles
probably better than traditional, more specific, but people who
(21:32):
embrace biblical roles arecommitted to church, pray
together.
It's just set up for a verysatisfying life because it's
legitimately what God designedus for from the very beginning
yeah, get married, be fruitful,multiply, worship God.
Of course you're going to behappy doing what God created you
to do?
Speaker 1 (21:50):
Yeah, crazy, right.
One of the things I said is,like, you know you could roll
the dice and you could, it's?
You know, there are people atour church I think they're
happily married that have amixed, you know, a believer
non-believer, that have a mixedbeliever non-believer and you
could roll a dice and you couldwin.
You could roll snake eyes, andit's rare to do or roll two
sixes and hey way to go.
However, what I wanted to sayon this and I said this was also
(22:13):
controversial and I don't knowwhat you think about it, but I
go.
Love that does not wait is notlove.
Yeah, and what I said is thatyour benefit at my expense.
Even if you're saying I reallylove you and I'm going to
express my love through physicalintimacy, what you're really
saying is I don't believe God,that he has his best for you,
(22:37):
and so, therefore, I don't wantthe best.
I want what's best for me rightnow the instant gratification
the feed my flesh and in everyother part of life.
We value those who delaygratification.
I delay eating more food so Ican lose weight.
I delay laying on the couch togo work out, to get healthier or
(23:03):
whatever.
Whatever the thing is, we allgo.
That's great, that's great, butfor some reason delaying the
gratification of sexual intimacyis somehow taboo.
Because why?
Why do you think that is?
Speaker 2 (23:16):
oh, man, that's a.
There's a lot.
Yeah, give me, give me one,give me one.
So your question is why do we,when it comes to Everything else
.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
We're great, we honor it, we're like wow.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
Can you believe that guy?
But when it comes to sex, we'relike you're an idiot.
Yeah, okay.
So I mean this goes back tosexual revolution.
The idea of waiting beingoppressive and liberty being
(23:50):
more free is the idea ofsleeping with whoever you want.
That's an expression of freedom.
Set has been in our country,you know, uh, building swelling
for 50 years.
You know half a century.
Um, this idea that uh, um, whenwe delay gratification for like
, working out or eating orsomething like that, it's not
(24:12):
seen as like oppressive orhurting you.
It's seen as like improvingyourself, right, but when it
comes to this, it's seen asdepriving yourself of something
good.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
Right.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
Um and something needed.
Even so, like I mean all themovies, like you know, the teen
movies that have come out thelast couple of decades have all
been, you know, like.
Impressive parents 40-year-oldvirgin right.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
It's like, oh, that's hilarious.
There's this guy who's 40 andhe hasn't, you know, slept
around a whole bunch.
Like, slept around a wholebunch.
Like, what an idiot you know.
Like that's the kind of thingour culture gives you.
Is that, like, you're a loser,you're an idiot if you deprive
yourself of this thing?
Um, and it's.
It's divorcing, um, sexualdesire from covenant commitment,
right, and so a lot of it, Ithink, comes from just the
(24:57):
sexual revolution type of likemindset as well as like um want,
you know, believe, wanting tobelieve that there's a way to
enjoy sex apart from commitment,and so it doesn't feel like
you're.
And when you embrace that ideaof like I'm just going to sleep
with whoever, I don't have towait, if we're in love, we don't
(25:19):
need to be married, and stuff,it feels like you're doing
something good to your body, asopposed to eating junk food
which is doing something harmful.
So we've just like I think wetotally missed out the
understanding of marriage fromthe Bible, sexual revolution,
and a lot of it just comes downto selfishness, impatience,
gratifying your flesh.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
But there's a lot.
No, I agree.
I resonate with all that.
So here's one thing I noticedin this next part, where it
talks about how Solomon sendsfor her on like she's riding her
limousine.
He has his limousine and theyroll up to the wedding and it's
awesome.
He's got the crown his mom gavehim for the wedding day.
It's sweet, all right.
(26:01):
The cool part about this is, Ifelt, the bride found a king who
would pursue and protect her,which seems a little bit odd
that she found someone who wouldpursue her.
But that's really what happenedin the fact that he is always
pursuing her by sending you know, I'm going to bring you lavish
gift of this wedding procession.
(26:22):
I'm going to send physicalprotection for you to show how I
can provide and protect for youand care for you.
Is that something that womenshould be looking for?
And I know, obviously it seemslike we're a church thing, so
we're going to be like, ofcourse, but ultimately, uh, what
(26:44):
does it mean for a husband topursue and protect her?
I would love to see what your1622 book said about pursuing
and protecting.
You know, like what is that?
Bring it next time.
Yeah, you need to go through it.
Yeah, but what do you?
What do you think that means?
To me, that's like he couldprovide financially.
That means like he is going tobe secure.
I think there's proof there aswell, not just the way like I
(27:06):
think there's a sexual intimacyand purity that you're looking
for, but also a ability to be aman to take care of and protect
and continue to pursue his brideeven beyond the wedding day.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
Yeah, yeah, again.
Marriage, biblical marriage.
It is clear that the man andthe wife each have roles and
responsibilities that are unique.
You know, to the man and to thewife there's shared
responsibilities.
You know, just as being a humanbeing, a Christian, but when it
(27:46):
comes to the man, he is to be aprotector and a provider.
He is to pursue all the Ps andto preside.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
Preside nice.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
To oversee the household, the marriage and the
household to watch, to be anoverseer, to be a pastor of his
home.
And so you know, you think of,like Psalm 23, the Lord is my
shepherd.
I shall not want.
What does it mean to be aprotector and a provider?
It means I shall not want.
Right, I have, all my needs aremet and I'm safe.
Yeah, and that is how a godlyhusband makes his wife and
(28:16):
children feel All my needs aremet and I'm safe.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
Yeah, and I feel like it's more than financial Right,
it's more than financial, it'smore than, but not less than.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
Yeah exactly.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
Exactly, but I do feel like that's what I feel
like our culture has driftedfrom that as well, and women are
taking more of that lead role.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
And how have you seen that break down the family?
This is related, you know.
Okay, sexual revolution came,you know, alongside feminist
feminism and you know there'sdifferent waves of feminism and
all that, but but at the core ofall of it, of the feminist
movement, is the idea that maleand female are interchangeable
right.
That are functionally oressentially interchangeable, and
(29:00):
so a woman can do anything aman can do.
You know, and that has been out.
From that, you get confusion inmarriage, you get
egalitarianism in the church andyou get homosexuality.
If male and female areinterchangeable, then why not?
Just?
Why can't a man marry a man orwoman marry a woman?
You get transgenderism.
If male and female areinterchangeable, then why not
just—why can't a man marry a manor a woman marry a woman?
You get transgenderism.
(29:21):
If male and female areinterchangeable, then why can't
I change my own gender?
Homosexuality, transgenderism,egalitarianism and just
confusion all come from thisidea of male and female are
interchangeable, which is crazybecause it comes up on page one
of the Bible that God made themmale and female.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
And I think sometimes people really push back because
they're like I'm not looking tobe a 1950s trad wife or
something and I'm like sure, andI want to go like before the
industrial revolution.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
Yeah, you got to go back further in 1950s anyway.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
Right, right, let's go wait, let's go be, let's just
go back to agricultural times.
But if you were, like ablacksmith, your wife married in
and she became part of theblacksmith trade.
She probably wouldn't be doingthe heavy blacksmithing, but she
was a part.
Like you were together workingin the family trade.
Whether you're a farmer, you'reworking together in the family
trade.
But her primary role was toraise children and your primary
(30:15):
role was to do the heavy lifting.
But that't mean she wasn'theavily involved, yeah, in the
business.
I just think of um, priscillaand aquila.
Yeah, they're both tent makers,yeah, and so they're actively
working.
I don't know if you know aquilawas the sewer and, uh,
priscilla was, I don't know, inmarketing.
I'm not sure which one it was,but I do know that there was a
reality that what we saw withthe industrial revolution was
(30:36):
sort of like a extreme of the,the separation of men and women
because men no longer was wasinvolved in raising children.
Right, and that's bad, andthat's bad.
So what I've?
What's been wild to me?
I'm gonna call it theinformation revolution.
I guess okay, of this age wheremen were working from home in a
, in a, it almost took us backto like being a blacksmith or
(30:58):
being a you know oh, and remotework like from covid and stuff
like that.
Yeah, yeah it actually, I think,brought some positive things
where the father was at home,yeah, doing his role job where
he's, you know he's still beingaffirmed at work, but he still
has the ability to manage andtake care of children at the
same time.
So there is no cookie cutter.
(31:21):
This is what it's supposed tolook like.
However, the husband issupposed to preside I love that
and therefore provide securityand everything else for his
bride.
Yeah, ah, boom, boom.
See how I rhymed that.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
Song Solomon, you got to make the rhymes, yeah.
And so back to your question oflike um, uh, that idea, if we
just don't think about it thatway anymore and like, uh, women
being like, oh, I want to be theleader in the home, and a lot
of men that are like totallycool with that, they're just
like sure, yeah, I mean, yeah,you're, you're smart, you're a
kept man, what's that?
Speaker 1 (31:55):
I'll be a kept man.
Yeah, just give me my allowanceand I'll go do my thing.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
And um, you know, when you, when you abandon God's
design for um marriage, it getsreally confusing.
Um, and nobody wins with that.
And uh, so like not.
The answer is not, hey, go backto the 1950s or whatever.
I do think that we can looklike, look at certain times in
history and say, okay, hey,these people had this right, or
(32:26):
these people had that right, yes, but ultimately I mean it's
just, you go back to the wordand you can read the Bible, not
only in the positive, explicitcommands, you know, husbands do
this, wives do this, men, women,but even in the examples, even
in the stories, even you look atsomething like Proverbs 31 and
it's like a lot of people arelike, oh man, that's impossible
for any one woman to do allthose things.
(32:46):
I think that's trying to fitwhat she's doing into like a
modern framework, as opposed towhat you said, which is the home
used to be, the place ofbusiness, the home used to be,
and so, yeah, the wife'sinvolved, the kids are involved,
you know.
Yeah, all the servants areinvolved, all the servants are
involved, you have a whole theidea of a household Right which
(33:10):
is more than just a nuclearfamily.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
Right, it could have 20, 30 people Multiple
generations of families ofservants.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
You wanted that stuff , like you know it could have 20
, multiple generations offamilies, of servants, stuff,
yeah, and, and she's got a veryimportant role and it's not the
same as the husband or father,um, but every person's role in
the home mattered and thehousehold was product Like
that's the word that I feel like, or the phrase a productive
household that we've totallylost in the modern world.
That needs to be recovered and,you know, re-taught and it's
(33:39):
like buried treasure,understanding that a household
is supposed to be a place of youknow, where there's not only
spiritual discipleship happeningbut like economic prosperity
happening that's shared by thewhole family and kids are
discipled, not just in and I saythis is very ambitious, because
a lot of families aren't eventeaching their kids the Bible,
(34:00):
and so it's like, shoot, you got, yes, start there.
Teach kids the Bible, do familyworship every day, read, pray
and sing every day, but alsobeyond that, teach your kids a
craft, a profitable trademanners, start a family business
, do like something where you'rereally you're being productive
together and you're you're doinga full you're, you're creating
(34:21):
fully formed disciples in yourhome who know how to be social
and have communication skillsand are prepared to get married
and are going to be able to be,you know, productive members of
society when they become adults.
Like the household was, a wasmeant to be a place of
developing people toward thatgoal.
Speaker 1 (34:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
Not just a place that everyone shows up to after
school and work to watch a TVshow and go to bed.
Speaker 1 (34:44):
That's a really that's kind of how it is now
right, not for all, but for alot of people the place to watch
a TV show, go to sleep.
That's a great insight, allright.
So I know it almost feelshopeless, right?
So what's the way we reversethat?
I think you brought up somegood points, like family worship
, but also, I think, training.
(35:05):
It's like talking about.
You know how you interact withthe grader.
There's a lot of darkness andwickedness that he's got to
overcome and really helping himprocess through his day what
he's experiencing and how we cansee the light of Christ through
(35:25):
that.
It's a challenge, but it'ssomething that when you're able
to do that, you're able to saywe act like this because of what
our hope is.
They act like that because theydon't have any hope, and so, of
course, they're going to go forno gratification delay.
Of course they're going to gofor whatever their heart desires
in the moment, and we have gotto be people that are distinct,
peculiar even, and to live ourlives for Jesus.
(35:46):
All right.
So I think that.
So a question came up.
A question came up into thepodcast on this and it's from a
single person said if I'm partlycontent with singleness because
of my own personal space andtime, but want to marry, but the
people you connect with moreare young adults already young
(36:08):
adults already married than theage 35 plus people.
Would that mean I'm more liketo be single?
I think this person is saying,like I guess I'm in the 35 plus
category and I connect withpeople that are already married
or young adults.
Does that mean I'm more likelyto be single?
Speaker 2 (36:26):
That's a great question.
There's a lot I love about thatquestion in that I think
there's something you couldmaybe call it like a holy
discontentment, nice, so like Ithink we're scripture's clear
that we are called to be contentin all circumstances and in the
sense that we are satisfied inChrist, and if Christ is all
(36:50):
that we have, then he's enoughfor us.
Yes, and at the same time it'slike you know, if you're hungry,
it's not a sin to desire foodright.
Yeah, that's a.
You know, if you're hungry,it's not a sin to desire food.
Right, that's a I am, you knowit's a right desire for
something that I don't have.
I'm not coveting food, I'm notlike in a sinful state of
discontentment, I just I desiresomething.
That's a good thing to desireand I don't have it.
(37:11):
And I think marriage falls intothat category.
It's not like I'm covetingsomeone else's wife or something
.
I'm just like I want to bemarried.
So I think you can have acontentment in Christ while at
the same time having like a holydiscontentment of like I do
want to be married, though I'msatisfied in Christ, but I do
want to be married.
I think that makes sense.
(37:33):
I can enjoy being single.
I can enjoy my personal spaceand time, but at the same time,
would I love a spouse?
Yes, I would.
I think that's right.
Speaker 1 (37:40):
Yeah and I do think there is a part of it.
If you find yourself in a seasonof singleness, this is a great
time to serve the Lord and Ithink in that that doesn't mean
you're not actively searchingfor a spouse, but you're
actively working for the Lordand, just like Ruth with Boaz,
it's like God will put you inpositions where you're available
(38:01):
and let's go.
I think you look to your leftand right, see who's running
with you.
I think what happens a lot oftimes?
You become so obsessed withlooking for a spouse I don't
want to say you come off asdesperate, but your idol is
revealed and everyone can see it, maybe except for you.
And so, therefore, you'rerunning around with this idol of
(38:24):
marriage that once I getmarried, then I'll be happy, and
everybody looking at that goesoh man, that's going to be hard
because the reality is going tosmack you across the face and
all of a sudden you're going toget hit by.
You didn't realize how selfishyou were and the very thing you
thought would serve you is thevery thing you're now called to
serve.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:34):
Yeah, it kind of reminds me of that question we
started with back at thebeginning of like.
You know, do you wait aroundfor God to provide or do you go
seek it?
And it's like it's both.
You put yourself in theposition to find a godly person
by following God and at the sametime you're looking to your
left and your right and if theLord presents someone, you know
the question of like, would thatmean I'm more likely to be
(38:58):
single If you're 35 plus andyou're hanging out with people
who are younger than you?
Well, depends on if it's a manor a woman.
Honestly, I think if it's awoman hanging out with men that
are younger than her, I thinkthat is less likely.
If it's a man hanging out withwomen who are younger, more
(39:18):
likely.
Speaker 1 (39:20):
As one who got married about-.
There you go, 35.
I can tell you I marriedsomeone almost 10 years younger.
Yeah, okay, maybe not fully 10,but nine years and four months.
Okay, there you go, in caseanyone's counting.
Speaker 2 (39:30):
Yeah.
So I think that kind of depends.
And so if it's a woman, I think, yeah, you probably need to
find a way to get around somegodly men who are around your
age or older.
Speaker 1 (39:42):
And we do have a seasoned singles group at our
church.
Boom, there you go, five plus.
Speaker 2 (39:46):
Show up at that Nice, but at the same time am I more
likely.
There's trends and there's data, and there's, you know, but
then there's also, like God doeswhat he wants, yeah, going back
there's you know.
Speaker 1 (39:59):
But then there's also like God does what he wants and
so, like going back to it, youcan roll the dice and who knows,
but you're trusting the Lord,yeah.
So, man, I really appreciatethat insight.
Hey, thanks so much forwatching.
You can always text us in.
We'd love to hear from you.
Go to PastorPleckcom or justsimply text 737-231-0605.
We'd love to hear from you.
We'd love to talk about this.
(40:19):
We'll be going through the Songof Solomon for several more
weeks.
In fact, this week I'm going togive the warning, because this
week we read Song of Solomon,chapter 4, and we're going to
talk about a woman's beauty andthe word breast is going to come
up in the text, and so it'sgoing to get a little spicy
(40:41):
because it's going to say theword spices a lot, and so we're
going to get into that and we'regoing to talk about what it
means for a married couple tohave sex and what that looks
like.
And so, if that's not somethingyou are ready for this Sunday
at Wells Branch Community Churchbecause you've got kids and you
haven't had that conversation,hey, read them.
(41:03):
Song of Solomon, chapter 4.
Start having that conversation.
I don't know, I don't know ifyou want to go from zero to.
We're going to go full in, butthat should be conversations.
You want the church leading in.
You want the church disciplingthe world, discipling the church
on what it is to have sex, whatboundaries there are, all that.
So we talk about that on nextweek's podcast and we're getting
(41:27):
into that on this Sunday.
But I just want to give everyonejust a forewarned is forearmed
is that if you haven't had theconversation yet with your child
and you, for some reason, arebringing them to church and
you're not ready for children'sministry yet, I'd say this would
be a great week for children'sministry.
We would love that.
Or, honestly, I feel like thisis all the things that parents
should be teaching their kidsand honestly, have a great heart
(41:48):
for discipling the world inwhat it looks like to have pure
sex.
Hey, thanks so much forwatching From our house to yours
.
Have an awesome week of worship.
and welcome back to pastor plex podcast.
We are live here in studio inwells branch, austin texas,
along with holland, greg helloand holland.
Uh, holland helped me knockthis sermon out this past sunday
by all the just the deep study,all of the vigorous research,
(00:25):
and I got some of the chartsfrom Holland this week, so I was
super grateful for that.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
I am super grateful to know that you use them.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Yeah, yeah, I did.
I did, in fact.
Here's what we talked about.
We talked about that you wantto make sure that you're ready
before you jump into marriage,and here's my analogy.
All right, did you know that Iworked at McDonald's?
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Yes, and my very first day cooking fish and filet
Filet of fish or fish and filetyou know what the problem is.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
I said fish and filet like 50 times and then it
wasn't until like the 51st timethat I said, oh crud, I mean
filet of fish, nice, and I don'teven know why, like as one who
worked at McDonald's.
This is like how you knowyou're getting old.
But maybe I think I wrote itwrong the first time and then I
just couldn't help myself.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
But anyway, you are getting old, I am getting old, I
am 48.
As of.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Sunday it was bad.
My age showed on my birthdaybecause I kept saying fish will
fly Filet-O-Fish.
So I was cooking thisFilet-O-Fish, right, 32 years
ago.
There I was, and as I'm cookingthe Filet-O-Fish I didn't
realize there was buttons andbeepers that went off to let you
know how long you're supposedto cook the Filet of fish.
And so I just was like gonnafeel it out.
(01:43):
Yeah, so you know.
And you don't want to put yourhand in the hot grease because
that would hurt, right.
And in fact one time I did takea fry thing.
It hit my arm and I had a scarof like railroad track of grease
fryer thing on my elbow or armfor like, yeah, it was wild.
So, elbow or arm for like, yeah, it was wild.
(02:06):
So anyway, I'm sitting therewatching the filet-o-fish and
I'm like that looks good, it'slike it's time, and so I pull it
out.
It looked good to me, I servedit and then, about 30 minutes
later, the manager comes runningback to the back furious as to
who would have served uncookedfilet-o-fish and it was uncooked
now at 16.
do you think I tookresponsibility for that?
Probably not, not, nope, I justgo don't know what happened.
(02:27):
But it was totally me and Iapologize and I own it.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Now you know what that brings to mind for me.
Tell me, have you I mean, haveyou ever had?
Did you ever eat theFilet-O-Fish?
Yeah, like, when it's fullycooked it is worth the wait it
is.
That's just my personal opinion, though I don't know if you
agree with that or not, but whatdo you think about that?
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Yeah, you have to have the right tartar sauce on
it.
It is absolutely delicious,Worth the wait.
You would say, yeah, it's soworth the wait and that brings
us to the analogy about sex andmarriage that it is worth the
wait, man what a perfect analogy.
Yeah it was Now in preachingpractice.
I was laughed at over and overagain and nobody could believe
(03:12):
in preaching practice.
I would actually go forward anduse that, but I did.
That's right.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
And that's what makes you you.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Okay, you know what?
I am willing to go a little bitbeyond, outside the norm, to
get something to land.
And did it land 100% no, butthat's not the important thing.
The important thing is you getwhere I'm going, and that's
important.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
You know, I think it landed where it needed to land
it needed and whoever neededthat.
They got it.
They got it you know what theywere.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
Like I'm half-baked all right, sorry I'm out of
control okay, all right.
Uh, so we, we went into the textand the text talked about this
girl having a dream sequence.
Probably before she's married.
She's like on my bed by night.
I sought him, whom my soulloves.
I sought him.
Then she's like I'll seek him.
She went about the city streetsand the city squares and she's
(04:07):
him, but she couldn't find him.
She goes to the police officers, the watchman of the night, and
she's like have you seen him?
And the big thing I took awayfrom that is seeking a spouse is
actually good.
Yeah, it's a desire, that's agood desire, very good.
He who finds a wife finds agood thing.
And apparently you have to lookfor him.
That's right.
And so I said you know?
(04:28):
So I don't know.
Did you ever get told this whenyou were single?
When you're not looking, that'swhen you'll find a spouse.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Yeah, it was the advice of just like just seek
God, Right, yeah, it was theadvice of just seek God, run
hard after God and then, in histiming, he'll bring you a spouse
.
So what are your thoughts onthat?
Because in a sense I fullyagree with that and there's
another sense that I think it'sincomplete.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
Right, that was my sense.
It's like, of course you've gotto seek God.
But you know what?
I also get hungry for food, andwhen I get hungry for food I
don't just sit in my house andgo Lord, it is time for you to
bring me my meal.
I get out of my house and I goto McDonald's and I get my paleo
fish Wow, Full circle, broughtit back, right back in.
(05:23):
Or actually, right now I'm on athing where you know hgb, the
little meals are alreadypre-made yeah I love those like,
like the tv dinners in thefreezer, or what do you?
Speaker 2 (05:35):
is that not what you meant?
Oh, that's exactly right okay,they're like tv, but they're way
better than a TV dude.
Oh, okay.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
Yeah, they're not frozen, they're refrigerated.
Oh, yeah, step up Listen,that's where I am next level,
anyway, so so you go out and getit.
I go-.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
You trust God to provide for you and you
understand that you have a role,Like you have a garden in your
backyard, that's right.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
You go and water it, you tend to it and then you grow
your garden, you cut yourvegetables and bam, you make
yourself some soup.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Amen, Tomato soup coming up in a couple months.
I can't wait.
Yeah, I'll bring you some, so Ithink that's the problem.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
I think a lot of times people say you know, you
just need to stop looking andlet God bring the one, and you
don't do that with anything else.
If someone did that with a job,like you know, I'm just waiting
for God to bring me the rightjob.
And they never put a resume out, they never got on LinkedIn,
they didn't apply to any jobs,they didn't go to Indeed, they
(06:35):
didn't go to monstercom, theydidn't do whatever it is that
you do when you're looking for ajob Job seekers network, you
can go about a bazilliondifferent places.
If they never did that and yousaid, like the Lord's going to
bring me one If we would all go,that's one lazy, that is two
like not biblical.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
Right, yeah, but then so that that's.
There's the sense of like.
You know your role andresponsibility to do something
for it, but there's also likethe like.
I do think the idea of like runhard after God.
That puts you on the trajectorywhere you ought to be looking.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
Right.
It puts you around the rightpeople.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
Yeah, like I think of like, you think of like Ruth
and Boaz, and even the Shulamitewoman and Solomon in this song.
She, you know, she was lookingin the fields where he was
tending his flock.
You know the Ruth went into thefields where the Lord had,
where she felt like the Lord hadled her, and then that's where
(07:31):
she found Boaz, and so likethere is a sense where I would
say I would, I would agree,pursue God a hundred percent and
like.
That means like get involved inchurch, know, and like being uh
, filling your life with thethings of god and um church
community and that kind of stuff.
But then within that communitythere's also the aspect of like,
(07:52):
yeah, you can proactively seeka spouse so it's not like one or
the other.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Yeah, yeah, I like that.
So even within ruth it's likeby her doing the right thing,
yeah, taking care of hermother-in-law, yeah, it like she
didn't know that Boaz would bethis provisional dude.
It just because she wasconstantly doing the right thing
she was put in that position.
But even then she had to kindof let him know hey, I'm
available.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
Yeah, there was her pursuing God.
I'm going to make your God myGod.
I'm going to follow her,becoming a believer in God and
pursuing him.
But then the Lord did he?
He put Boaz right in her path.
But then there was, you know,back to her side again.
There was her kind of um, uh,taking the initiative to, like
you said.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
Hey, I'm available.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
And so, like it is a mixture, it's like God putting
someone in your path, uh, andyou just seeking God as your
first priority and you you know,making a move, okay.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
So here's the next part I talked about, which might
be controversial.
I said parents should betraining their children on what
kind of a person to be as aspouse and who they should be
looking for, and talking aboutit regularly.
How is?
Speaker 2 (09:01):
that controversial Explain, because what people,
what parents have said— thatsounds so normal to me.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
I know it sounds so normal, but we also have a lot
of people that say somethinglike this Like I'm going to let
my kids figure out their faith,like, whatever they want to
believe, I'm going to let thembelieve.
And I'm like it's so weirdabout how, the most important
thing of their life, we don'ttrain them.
And I think that's whyrelationships are such train
(09:32):
wrecks now is because nobody wasever trained.
Nobody sat down and said, hey,this is what you're looking for
in a godly woman.
Yeah, these are the attributes,these are the character traits.
Um, let's read the bibletogether, let's study it to see
if, um, does this woman meet thecriteria set forth in what a
godly woman looks like, beforewe even go down the path of
falling in love?
Yeah, usually what happens?
We fall in love and then wesort of like, well, they could
be, they've got all thispotential Right and we marry on
potential based on what we'veseen.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Now, to an extent, we're all marrying potential
right, yeah, sure, yeah, but Imean in the sense of we all have
room to grow.
That's what you mean right.
Yeah, what I always say when itcomes to that is I say Mary
proof, not potential.
So like Mary proof, meaning youhave seen that this person is
(10:14):
who they say they are and thatthat lines up with scripture.
And what a scripture calls tobe, you know, calls a man or a
woman to be so Mary proof, notpotential.
Scripture calls a man or awoman to be so marry proof, not
potential.
I think that would save so manyrelationships by ending them,
save so many people from theheartache of marrying potential
and then they're in a miserablemarriage where the person they
(10:35):
thought they were going tobecome X, y or Z and they never
do.
But if you marry proof, notpotential, you save yourself
from that.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
Yeah, how about somebody that's already in a
marriage?
That married potential and theproof never came.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
Ken, before that could just go back to the
country.
You know you said it was acontroversial question I just
want to throw out there.
There's this book.
It's a really old book, Ooh,ancient, 1622 edition.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
I love it it's called Before the 1689 First London
Baptist Confession.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
There you go, second London Baptist.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Second.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
London Baptist Come on, dang it.
Of Domestical Duties, williamGouge.
So this book's kind ofcontroversial in that it is
essentially an exposition andapplication of Ephesians 5 and 6
about marriage and children.
Yeah, application of Ephesians5 and 6 about marriage and
children, but breaking downpretty much every single
possible way that those versescould be applied.
And so it's like how a husbandloves his wife when she is tired
(11:34):
, how a husband loves his wifeduring pregnancy, immediately
after the baby, what a mother'sresponsibility to her children
are during pregnancy, after the.
You know, when the children arethis age, how a child honors
his father, how a fatherdisciplines his child, but not
too sternly, but also not toogently.
But also, and just like I mean,it's just this long, long, long
book of domestical dutiesthat's what it's called and
(11:58):
anyway it goes into.
It has all these sections aboutwhat a parent's responsibility
to their children are.
And you know, basically, underthe idea of bring up your
children in the discipline andinstruction of the Lord, it's
like, okay, what does that mean?
And it's like teaching yourkids manners and it's fathers
you're responsible to.
You know, teach your children aprofitable trade and to prepare
(12:22):
them for a certain vocation.
Fathers, you are responsiblefor helping your children find a
spouse and know what to lookfor in a spouse.
So finding a spouse andpreparing them for a particular
vocation, those are two where Ifeel like have really dropped
off as something that parentssee as like their responsibility
.
I think we punted to school,right?
Speaker 1 (12:41):
I mean like the like, the school dances where you
learn romance, and uh, whatevercollege you go to is what is
where you learn whatever tradeyou're going to get.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
And you know, and it's kind oflike, do whatever your heart
desires.
And there is a sense in thatlike, uh, you know, we, we don't
want to like force our kids todo something.
Is the mindset behind that?
We don't want to force them tomarry this person or force them
into this thing, because youknow what if they're miserable
or something like that.
But, um, if you don't think ofit as like forcing something,
(13:11):
but think of it as just part ofyour discipleship here, you know
what a parent's responsibilityto their child is.
And so back to Song of Solomonand a spouse, part of your
responsibility is to teach yourchildren what one be fruitful
and multiply.
The normal pathway in life isto get married and have children
and raise a godly family.
And so you know, you got toknow what to look for and you
(13:32):
got to know how to become thekind of person who will be
successful in that man.
I love that.
I agree with you.
I think it is a parent'sresponsibility and there was a
day hundreds of years ago whereother theologians and pastors
taught this and wrote booksabout it.
Wow, like wouldn't that be wildif we like wrote a book that
said, like how to train your kida trade, yeah, I mean so I
(13:53):
don't know that's been like forme as a father with young
children, like something I'mthinking about a lot and like
just well-roundedhip, that's notjust memorize these Bible
verses obviously you're trainingthem in spiritual things, but
also marriage, vocation, uh,manners, you know all that kind
of stuff that goes into reallypreparing children for the world
.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
I think that's so hard and so good and, I think,
challenging, um.
So one of the things that Italked about is that you know
you've heard of the 10,000 hourrule.
Yeah, all right.
So Malcolm Gladwell, he didn'tcome up with it, but he
researched it and kind of tookthe guy where we originally made
it up and took it and ran withit.
But it takes about 10,000 hoursto master a craft, and so for
(14:37):
kids like you have, 10 years isabout if you did two hours a day
, that's 10 years, or if you'regoing to do 20 years, however
long, you know, and you did anhour a day, you know, I don't
know how much time, but like Iwanted.
When you think about disciplingyour kids, like challenging
them on scripture, challengingthem in God's word, praying with
them, having them go throughchallenging things, they have to
(14:59):
exercise their faith you knowthere's a lot of things that go
there, but I think we probablyhave had our kids master the
craft of video games more thanwe've had.
Master the craft ofrelationship, master the craft
of Bible reading, master thecraft of any of that.
In fact, that is convicting me,because I'm like.
There are times where I'm likehere's the switch.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
I need to function.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
And I think that's on all of us really to kind of
push through that and to engageour kids.
When it's so easy to punttowards technology, yep, 100%.
So in the same way, I think thereason why marriages really
struggle is that you were nevertrained in any of this, and so
when we're talking about such ahigh standard, I think, as I was
preaching I don't know if youknow I wasn't getting a lot of
(15:44):
feedback I think more people arelaughing more.
I think they're just like sortof like hanging on, you know,
white knuckling the talk,because we're talking about
something that very few peoplehave mastered.
Yeah, it's way easier to engagesomething when you feel like
you've got that, but on, when itcomes to relationships, sex,
that kind of stuff, I feel likewe are a very fragile in that as
(16:04):
a culture and society, and sothat's not something we've been
trained on, and so, therefore,this is a hard topic to come up
with, and it can bring a lot ofshame and maybe even
condemnation, because you'rereading God's word and you're
realizing oh man, I did not liveup to this and now I feel like
the devil's on me going.
You'll never measure up, youcan't measure up, nobody really
(16:25):
wants you, how could you saythat you're a Christian?
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Yeah, yeah.
And the really great news aboutChristianity is that God is a
redeemer and he's a sanctifierand he can take you know someone
who has just royally screwed uptheir marriage, you know in
every way you can think of andyou know in in his timing and um
(16:48):
, through patient, you know,sanctification process, he can
turn it into, uh, not only ahealthy marriage but a healthy
marriages, a healthy marriagethat blesses and teaches and is
a testimony to other healthymarriages about the power of God
to save.
So like there's no great thingabout Christianity is like
there's no like too far gonesituation and really like the
(17:11):
more far gone you are, the moreglory God is going to get.
You know, when he turns thingsaround and that's like God's
specialty in the Bible is hetake like he intentionally even
goes after like why did I pickIsrael?
You're the smallest and weakestand so I'm going to use you to
glorify my name because it's sounlikely that some, that a
(17:32):
people like you, would doanything significant.
You know, like that's basicallywhat he told him in Deuteronomy
.
It's so unlike like no onewould believe this other than
like the sovereign grace andmercy of God at work.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
Yeah, so you're kind of in a great position.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
If your marriage is like a train wreck, man, you are
in the perfect position for Godto do a miracle, and that you
would become a testimony of hisgrace, or if you're single and
you've been divorced or you'vehad like over and over, things
just went horribly, horriblywrong.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
Yeah, you might be the person god's going to use in
a really special, special way,not because of how great you've
been, but in spite of how wickedand dark you've been.
But your, your heart's beentransformed by the gospel.
Jesus came, died on the cross,rose to death, giving the whole
power of the holy spirit, andnow you're operating in freedom,
you're operating with noationand you're being a light to the
(18:22):
world.
So I do think, whether you'resingle or you're married, no
matter where you are, the coolthing about that the desire that
you might have for marriage isa desire even greater God has
for you as a person All right.
So she finds in the Song ofSolomon, the woman finds her
(18:42):
husband I think it's in a dreamsequence and then she brings him
.
She wouldn't let him go untilshe had brought him into my
mother's house, into the chamberof her who conceived me.
So it's kind of fun that shebrings her home to mom and then
there's this phrase I adjure you, o godly, spouse is worth the
wait, and so marry.
(19:11):
Proof, not potential.
I think that that is challenging, I think it's achievable and I
think that's the way Godintended it.
And honestly, because I thinkwhat happens with a lot of
people, they say I just want tobe happy, so I'm going to.
I've seen marriages go wrong,I've seen my parents, or I've
seen divorce or whatever.
And then you say I just want tobe happy and living together
(19:34):
takes away the drama of marriage.
And that couldn't be furtherfrom the truth, just even
statistically speaking.
Right, and those are a couple ofcharts you passed me, which one
was like those who are highlyreligious, with gender
traditional views have thehighest relationship quality
index number, like 73% ofrelational quality, versus those
(19:57):
who aren't.
In fact it's kind of weird.
It's like first is those whoare highly religious and have
gender traditional.
Second is highly religious,have gender progressive.
But then third, which I thoughtwas sort of interesting,
secular, shared genderprogressive.
So people who don't believe inGod but are probably adamant
about it and then they thinkthat you know, a man or woman
(20:17):
can exchange roles.
Those guys are most, they'relike.
Third best in the category ofrelational quality, which I
thought was sort of interesting.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Yeah, very interesting Cause if you, you
know you take the.
Well, I don't know, we couldtheorize all day about this
stuff but, um, yeah, the factthat highly religious, gender,
traditional um is the high, thehighest, uh, um, relational
satisfaction.
Is that what it is?
Yeah, and then one of the otherones.
I don't know if you use thisone, but odds of happy marriage
(20:48):
increase when spouse iscommitted, protective, religious
and romantic.
And you're just like man, likethis.
The data backs up the bible.
The bible like just, it's justvery clear right there across
the board.
Um, and what is it like?
Um, right there across theboard.
And what is it like?
1% of couples who pray togetherget divorced?
Only 1%, I think.
(21:10):
So when you, you know,sometimes people compare, like
the divorce rate in the churchand out of the church is like
the same.
I think that's been debunked.
But there that, if you, if youdon't just say people who like
kind of identify as Christian orsomething, but if you go to
actually pray together, it dropsdown to like 1%.
So you take all of thattogether and you go.
People who embrace traditionalroles I think biblical roles
probably better than traditional, more specific, but people who
(21:32):
embrace biblical roles arecommitted to church, pray
together.
It's just set up for a verysatisfying life because it's
legitimately what God designedus for from the very beginning
yeah, get married, be fruitful,multiply, worship God.
Of course you're going to behappy doing what God created you
to do?
Speaker 1 (21:50):
Yeah, crazy, right.
One of the things I said is,like, you know you could roll
the dice and you could, it's?
You know, there are people atour church I think they're
happily married that have amixed, you know, a believer
non-believer, that have a mixedbeliever non-believer and you
could roll a dice and you couldwin.
You could roll snake eyes, andit's rare to do or roll two
sixes and hey way to go.
However, what I wanted to sayon this and I said this was also
(22:13):
controversial and I don't knowwhat you think about it, but I
go.
Love that does not wait is notlove.
Yeah, and what I said is thatyour benefit at my expense.
Even if you're saying I reallylove you and I'm going to
express my love through physicalintimacy, what you're really
saying is I don't believe God,that he has his best for you,
(22:37):
and so, therefore, I don't wantthe best.
I want what's best for me rightnow the instant gratification
the feed my flesh and in everyother part of life.
We value those who delaygratification.
I delay eating more food so Ican lose weight.
I delay laying on the couch togo work out, to get healthier or
(23:03):
whatever.
Whatever the thing is, we allgo.
That's great, that's great, butfor some reason delaying the
gratification of sexual intimacyis somehow taboo.
Because why?
Why do you think that is?
Speaker 2 (23:16):
oh, man, that's a.
There's a lot.
Yeah, give me, give me one,give me one.
So your question is why do we,when it comes to Everything else
.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
We're great, we honor it, we're like wow.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
Can you believe that guy?
But when it comes to sex, we'relike you're an idiot.
Yeah, okay.
So I mean this goes back tosexual revolution.
The idea of waiting beingoppressive and liberty being
(23:50):
more free is the idea ofsleeping with whoever you want.
That's an expression of freedom.
Set has been in our country,you know, uh, building swelling
for 50 years.
You know half a century.
Um, this idea that uh, um, whenwe delay gratification for like
, working out or eating orsomething like that, it's not
(24:12):
seen as like oppressive orhurting you.
It's seen as like improvingyourself, right, but when it
comes to this, it's seen asdepriving yourself of something
good.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
Right.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
Um and something needed.
Even so, like I mean all themovies, like you know, the teen
movies that have come out thelast couple of decades have all
been, you know, like.
Impressive parents 40-year-oldvirgin right.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
It's like, oh, that's hilarious.
There's this guy who's 40 andhe hasn't, you know, slept
around a whole bunch.
Like, slept around a wholebunch.
Like, what an idiot you know.
Like that's the kind of thingour culture gives you.
Is that, like, you're a loser,you're an idiot if you deprive
yourself of this thing?
Um, and it's.
It's divorcing, um, sexualdesire from covenant commitment,
right, and so a lot of it, Ithink, comes from just the
(24:57):
sexual revolution type of likemindset as well as like um want,
you know, believe, wanting tobelieve that there's a way to
enjoy sex apart from commitment,and so it doesn't feel like
you're.
And when you embrace that ideaof like I'm just going to sleep
with whoever, I don't have towait, if we're in love, we don't
(25:19):
need to be married, and stuff,it feels like you're doing
something good to your body, asopposed to eating junk food
which is doing something harmful.
So we've just like I think wetotally missed out the
understanding of marriage fromthe Bible, sexual revolution,
and a lot of it just comes downto selfishness, impatience,
gratifying your flesh.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
But there's a lot.
No, I agree.
I resonate with all that.
So here's one thing I noticedin this next part, where it
talks about how Solomon sendsfor her on like she's riding her
limousine.
He has his limousine and theyroll up to the wedding and it's
awesome.
He's got the crown his mom gavehim for the wedding day.
It's sweet, all right.
(26:01):
The cool part about this is, Ifelt, the bride found a king who
would pursue and protect her,which seems a little bit odd
that she found someone who wouldpursue her.
But that's really what happenedin the fact that he is always
pursuing her by sending you know, I'm going to bring you lavish
gift of this wedding procession.
(26:22):
I'm going to send physicalprotection for you to show how I
can provide and protect for youand care for you.
Is that something that womenshould be looking for?
And I know, obviously it seemslike we're a church thing, so
we're going to be like, ofcourse, but ultimately, uh, what
(26:44):
does it mean for a husband topursue and protect her?
I would love to see what your1622 book said about pursuing
and protecting.
You know, like what is that?
Bring it next time.
Yeah, you need to go through it.
Yeah, but what do you?
What do you think that means?
To me, that's like he couldprovide financially.
That means like he is going tobe secure.
I think there's proof there aswell, not just the way like I
(27:06):
think there's a sexual intimacyand purity that you're looking
for, but also a ability to be aman to take care of and protect
and continue to pursue his brideeven beyond the wedding day.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
Yeah, yeah, again.
Marriage, biblical marriage.
It is clear that the man andthe wife each have roles and
responsibilities that are unique.
You know, to the man and to thewife there's shared
responsibilities.
You know, just as being a humanbeing, a Christian, but when it
(27:46):
comes to the man, he is to be aprotector and a provider.
He is to pursue all the Ps andto preside.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
Preside nice.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
To oversee the household, the marriage and the
household to watch, to be anoverseer, to be a pastor of his
home.
And so you know, you think of,like Psalm 23, the Lord is my
shepherd.
I shall not want.
What does it mean to be aprotector and a provider?
It means I shall not want.
Right, I have, all my needs aremet and I'm safe.
Yeah, and that is how a godlyhusband makes his wife and
(28:16):
children feel All my needs aremet and I'm safe.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
Yeah, and I feel like it's more than financial Right,
it's more than financial, it'smore than, but not less than.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
Yeah exactly.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
Exactly, but I do feel like that's what I feel
like our culture has driftedfrom that as well, and women are
taking more of that lead role.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
And how have you seen that break down the family?
This is related, you know.
Okay, sexual revolution came,you know, alongside feminist
feminism and you know there'sdifferent waves of feminism and
all that, but but at the core ofall of it, of the feminist
movement, is the idea that maleand female are interchangeable
right.
That are functionally oressentially interchangeable, and
(29:00):
so a woman can do anything aman can do.
You know, and that has been out.
From that, you get confusion inmarriage, you get
egalitarianism in the church andyou get homosexuality.
If male and female areinterchangeable, then why not?
Just?
Why can't a man marry a man orwoman marry a woman?
You get transgenderism.
If male and female areinterchangeable, then why not
just—why can't a man marry a manor a woman marry a woman?
You get transgenderism.
(29:21):
If male and female areinterchangeable, then why can't
I change my own gender?
Homosexuality, transgenderism,egalitarianism and just
confusion all come from thisidea of male and female are
interchangeable, which is crazybecause it comes up on page one
of the Bible that God made themmale and female.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
And I think sometimes people really push back because
they're like I'm not looking tobe a 1950s trad wife or
something and I'm like sure, andI want to go like before the
industrial revolution.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
Yeah, you got to go back further in 1950s anyway.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
Right, right, let's go wait, let's go be, let's just
go back to agricultural times.
But if you were, like ablacksmith, your wife married in
and she became part of theblacksmith trade.
She probably wouldn't be doingthe heavy blacksmithing, but she
was a part.
Like you were together workingin the family trade.
Whether you're a farmer, you'reworking together in the family
trade.
But her primary role was toraise children and your primary
(30:15):
role was to do the heavy lifting.
But that't mean she wasn'theavily involved, yeah, in the
business.
I just think of um, priscillaand aquila.
Yeah, they're both tent makers,yeah, and so they're actively
working.
I don't know if you know aquilawas the sewer and, uh,
priscilla was, I don't know, inmarketing.
I'm not sure which one it was,but I do know that there was a
reality that what we saw withthe industrial revolution was
(30:36):
sort of like a extreme of the,the separation of men and women
because men no longer was wasinvolved in raising children.
Right, and that's bad, andthat's bad.
So what I've?
What's been wild to me?
I'm gonna call it theinformation revolution.
I guess okay, of this age wheremen were working from home in a
, in a, it almost took us backto like being a blacksmith or
(30:58):
being a you know oh, and remotework like from covid and stuff
like that.
Yeah, yeah it actually, I think,brought some positive things
where the father was at home,yeah, doing his role job where
he's, you know he's still beingaffirmed at work, but he still
has the ability to manage andtake care of children at the
same time.
So there is no cookie cutter.
(31:21):
This is what it's supposed tolook like.
However, the husband issupposed to preside I love that
and therefore provide securityand everything else for his
bride.
Yeah, ah, boom, boom.
See how I rhymed that.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
Song Solomon, you got to make the rhymes, yeah.
And so back to your question oflike um, uh, that idea, if we
just don't think about it thatway anymore and like, uh, women
being like, oh, I want to be theleader in the home, and a lot
of men that are like totallycool with that, they're just
like sure, yeah, I mean, yeah,you're, you're smart, you're a
kept man, what's that?
Speaker 1 (31:55):
I'll be a kept man.
Yeah, just give me my allowanceand I'll go do my thing.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
And um, you know, when you, when you abandon God's
design for um marriage, it getsreally confusing.
Um, and nobody wins with that.
And uh, so like not.
The answer is not, hey, go backto the 1950s or whatever.
I do think that we can looklike, look at certain times in
history and say, okay, hey,these people had this right, or
(32:26):
these people had that right, yes, but ultimately I mean it's
just, you go back to the wordand you can read the Bible, not
only in the positive, explicitcommands, you know, husbands do
this, wives do this, men, women,but even in the examples, even
in the stories, even you look atsomething like Proverbs 31 and
it's like a lot of people arelike, oh man, that's impossible
for any one woman to do allthose things.
(32:46):
I think that's trying to fitwhat she's doing into like a
modern framework, as opposed towhat you said, which is the home
used to be, the place ofbusiness, the home used to be,
and so, yeah, the wife'sinvolved, the kids are involved,
you know.
Yeah, all the servants areinvolved, all the servants are
involved, you have a whole theidea of a household Right which
(33:10):
is more than just a nuclearfamily.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
Right, it could have 20, 30 people Multiple
generations of families ofservants.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
You wanted that stuff , like you know it could have 20
, multiple generations offamilies, of servants, stuff,
yeah, and, and she's got a veryimportant role and it's not the
same as the husband or father,um, but every person's role in
the home mattered and thehousehold was product Like
that's the word that I feel like, or the phrase a productive
household that we've totallylost in the modern world.
That needs to be recovered and,you know, re-taught and it's
(33:39):
like buried treasure,understanding that a household
is supposed to be a place of youknow, where there's not only
spiritual discipleship happeningbut like economic prosperity
happening that's shared by thewhole family and kids are
discipled, not just in and I saythis is very ambitious, because
a lot of families aren't eventeaching their kids the Bible,
(34:00):
and so it's like, shoot, you got, yes, start there.
Teach kids the Bible, do familyworship every day, read, pray
and sing every day, but alsobeyond that, teach your kids a
craft, a profitable trademanners, start a family business
, do like something where you'rereally you're being productive
together and you're you're doinga full you're, you're creating
(34:21):
fully formed disciples in yourhome who know how to be social
and have communication skillsand are prepared to get married
and are going to be able to be,you know, productive members of
society when they become adults.
Like the household was, a wasmeant to be a place of
developing people toward thatgoal.
Speaker 1 (34:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
Not just a place that everyone shows up to after
school and work to watch a TVshow and go to bed.
Speaker 1 (34:44):
That's a really that's kind of how it is now
right, not for all, but for alot of people the place to watch
a TV show, go to sleep.
That's a great insight, allright.
So I know it almost feelshopeless, right?
So what's the way we reversethat?
I think you brought up somegood points, like family worship
, but also, I think, training.
(35:05):
It's like talking about.
You know how you interact withthe grader.
There's a lot of darkness andwickedness that he's got to
overcome and really helping himprocess through his day what
he's experiencing and how we cansee the light of Christ through
(35:25):
that.
It's a challenge, but it'ssomething that when you're able
to do that, you're able to saywe act like this because of what
our hope is.
They act like that because theydon't have any hope, and so, of
course, they're going to go forno gratification delay.
Of course they're going to gofor whatever their heart desires
in the moment, and we have gotto be people that are distinct,
peculiar even, and to live ourlives for Jesus.
(35:46):
All right.
So I think that.
So a question came up.
A question came up into thepodcast on this and it's from a
single person said if I'm partlycontent with singleness because
of my own personal space andtime, but want to marry, but the
people you connect with moreare young adults already young
(36:08):
adults already married than theage 35 plus people.
Would that mean I'm more liketo be single?
I think this person is saying,like I guess I'm in the 35 plus
category and I connect withpeople that are already married
or young adults.
Does that mean I'm more likelyto be single?
Speaker 2 (36:26):
That's a great question.
There's a lot I love about thatquestion in that I think
there's something you couldmaybe call it like a holy
discontentment, nice, so like Ithink we're scripture's clear
that we are called to be contentin all circumstances and in the
sense that we are satisfied inChrist, and if Christ is all
(36:50):
that we have, then he's enoughfor us.
Yes, and at the same time it'slike you know, if you're hungry,
it's not a sin to desire foodright.
Yeah, that's a.
You know, if you're hungry,it's not a sin to desire food.
Right, that's a I am, you knowit's a right desire for
something that I don't have.
I'm not coveting food, I'm notlike in a sinful state of
discontentment, I just I desiresomething.
That's a good thing to desireand I don't have it.
(37:11):
And I think marriage falls intothat category.
It's not like I'm covetingsomeone else's wife or something
.
I'm just like I want to bemarried.
So I think you can have acontentment in Christ while at
the same time having like a holydiscontentment of like I do
want to be married, though I'msatisfied in Christ, but I do
want to be married.
I think that makes sense.
(37:33):
I can enjoy being single.
I can enjoy my personal spaceand time, but at the same time,
would I love a spouse?
Yes, I would.
I think that's right.
Speaker 1 (37:40):
Yeah and I do think there is a part of it.
If you find yourself in a seasonof singleness, this is a great
time to serve the Lord and Ithink in that that doesn't mean
you're not actively searchingfor a spouse, but you're
actively working for the Lordand, just like Ruth with Boaz,
it's like God will put you inpositions where you're available
(38:01):
and let's go.
I think you look to your leftand right, see who's running
with you.
I think what happens a lot oftimes?
You become so obsessed withlooking for a spouse I don't
want to say you come off asdesperate, but your idol is
revealed and everyone can see it, maybe except for you.
And so, therefore, you'rerunning around with this idol of
(38:24):
marriage that once I getmarried, then I'll be happy, and
everybody looking at that goesoh man, that's going to be hard
because the reality is going tosmack you across the face and
all of a sudden you're going toget hit by.
You didn't realize how selfishyou were and the very thing you
thought would serve you is thevery thing you're now called to
serve.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:34):
Yeah, it kind of reminds me of that question we
started with back at thebeginning of like.
You know, do you wait aroundfor God to provide or do you go
seek it?
And it's like it's both.
You put yourself in theposition to find a godly person
by following God and at the sametime you're looking to your
left and your right and if theLord presents someone, you know
the question of like, would thatmean I'm more likely to be
(38:58):
single If you're 35 plus andyou're hanging out with people
who are younger than you?
Well, depends on if it's a manor a woman.
Honestly, I think if it's awoman hanging out with men that
are younger than her, I thinkthat is less likely.
If it's a man hanging out withwomen who are younger, more
(39:18):
likely.
Speaker 1 (39:20):
As one who got married about-.
There you go, 35.
I can tell you I marriedsomeone almost 10 years younger.
Yeah, okay, maybe not fully 10,but nine years and four months.
Okay, there you go, in caseanyone's counting.
Speaker 2 (39:30):
Yeah.
So I think that kind of depends.
And so if it's a woman, I think, yeah, you probably need to
find a way to get around somegodly men who are around your
age or older.
Speaker 1 (39:42):
And we do have a seasoned singles group at our
church.
Boom, there you go, five plus.
Speaker 2 (39:46):
Show up at that Nice, but at the same time am I more
likely.
There's trends and there's data, and there's, you know, but
then there's also, like God doeswhat he wants, yeah, going back
there's you know.
Speaker 1 (39:59):
But then there's also like God does what he wants and
so, like going back to it, youcan roll the dice and who knows,
but you're trusting the Lord,yeah.
So, man, I really appreciatethat insight.
Hey, thanks so much forwatching.
You can always text us in.
We'd love to hear from you.
Go to PastorPleckcom or justsimply text 737-231-0605.
We'd love to hear from you.
We'd love to talk about this.
(40:19):
We'll be going through the Songof Solomon for several more
weeks.
In fact, this week I'm going togive the warning, because this
week we read Song of Solomon,chapter 4, and we're going to
talk about a woman's beauty andthe word breast is going to come
up in the text, and so it'sgoing to get a little spicy
(40:41):
because it's going to say theword spices a lot, and so we're
going to get into that and we'regoing to talk about what it
means for a married couple tohave sex and what that looks
like.
And so, if that's not somethingyou are ready for this Sunday
at Wells Branch Community Churchbecause you've got kids and you
haven't had that conversation,hey, read them.
(41:03):
Song of Solomon, chapter 4.
Start having that conversation.
I don't know, I don't know ifyou want to go from zero to.
We're going to go full in, butthat should be conversations.
You want the church leading in.
You want the church disciplingthe world, discipling the church
on what it is to have sex, whatboundaries there are, all that.
So we talk about that on nextweek's podcast and we're getting
(41:27):
into that on this Sunday.
But I just want to give everyonejust a forewarned is forearmed
is that if you haven't had theconversation yet with your child
and you, for some reason, arebringing them to church and
you're not ready for children'sministry yet, I'd say this would
be a great week for children'sministry.
We would love that.
Or, honestly, I feel like thisis all the things that parents
should be teaching their kidsand honestly, have a great heart
(41:48):
for discipling the world inwhat it looks like to have pure
sex.
Hey, thanks so much forwatching From our house to yours
.
Have an awesome week of worship.
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