Leading Through Celebration and Recognition

Celebration and recognition are powerful forces of motivation, but how can we use them most effectively? In this episode, Alex and Ben talk about several key principles for building an organization where recognition is abundant, wholehearted, and authentic. They also discuss 7 practices you can try out this week to make celebration and recognition a consistent part of your organizational culture. 

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Episode Recap:

• What do most leaders get wrong about celebration and recognition? 
• What happens when recognition is missing from an organization? 
• Celebration should be abundant, wholehearted, and authentic
• The things that get rewarded get repeated 
• Your words will never speak as loud as your compensation
• Culture is what you create and what you tolerate
• In vulnerability, leaders go first
• Compliments cost you nothing and can mean so much
• Recognition is like perfume; it’s nice to be around, but drinking it is poison
• There’s a difference between generosity and recognition 
• 7 practices for celebration and recognition 

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Episode Transcript

Ben Loy (00:02):
So today, we're talking about celebration and
recognition. What do mostleaders not understand about
this topic? That's a goodquestion.

Alex Judd (00:12):
Just how powerful it actually is. And I think we will
most of us at least willmentally or verbally agree with
the idea that, oh, recognitionand celebration is good, but we
don't understand that it'spowerful. And what I mean by
powerful is like, man, if weunderstand human motivation and

(00:35):
we understand the role of theleader as helping people go from
here to there, then what we areoften talking about is a
conversation about behaviorchange in service of other
people. And, you know, if we getdown to base base level, theory
of behavior change within humanbeings, we're talking carrot and

(00:55):
stick. So often, though, when wethink about the role of leaders,
we're thinking about the hardstick of accountability,
correction, you know, changingwhat shouldn't be or what's not
right into what's right.
But so often, if we focus somuch on that, we miss out on
this entire swath of opportunityand potential that looks like

(01:16):
just amplifying the things thatare going really, really well,
recognizing the things that aregoing really, really well. And
then beyond that, creating aculture where the bottleneck for
recognition in the organizationisn't just you, but rather
you're creating a culture.People like us do things like
this where, constantly there'sjust this evergreen flywheel of

(01:39):
people recognizing the behaviorswe wanna see repeated. And man,
that's when momentum reallystarts to get generated is when
we're not just dwelling on whatare the things that are wrong
that we want to be right, butrather what are the things that
are right that we wannarecognize, celebrate, amplify.

Ben Loy (01:54):
Is there a time or a story of when you like, this was
really driven home for you orthere was like an moment where
you just looked around theenvironment you were in and saw
this being played out reallywell?

Alex Judd (02:07):
I think it applies. It's a book is what I would say.
It's not a time or story, butit's a book. And the book is
called Oh Great One, and it's alittle parable, in which we can
look at it and can be like,that's a really simple book. But
I mean, it was written by a guynamed David Novak, who was the
CEO of Yum Brands, which when hecame into Yum Brands, that's,

(02:30):
KFC KFC, Taco Bell.
There's a whole host of brandsthat fall under the Yum Yum
Brands umbrella. When he came inat that time, things were, bad
and getting worse, and heactually orchestrated a
turnaround in the organization.Right? Things not only stopped
becoming bad, they actuallybecame really, really good. And

(02:52):
and many CEOs, he he now runs aleadership podcast, actually.
Many CEOs look to him as like abrilliant, brilliant, brilliant
leader, really, really sharp.And and I believe it was his
first book, his first book thathe wrote on leadership. The
entire topic he wanted to focuson was the power of recognition
because that is what he said.The single thing that he focused

(03:14):
on to turn around, that thatmassive corporate conglomerate
was instilling a culture ofrecognition at every level of
the organization. And so for me,I, you know, I was thinking,
because I got to interview thisguy.
I I was thinking, man, I'm aboutto interview one of the top 100
probably most influential CEOsin America. A guy that has not

(03:39):
just talked about the work ofleading thousands of people, but
has done it. And I was expectingit to be incredibly
sophisticated. And what I gotwas actually something really
simple. He just did it betterthan everyone else.
And that's, I think, when Istarted to really start to
believe, okay, this isn't justsomething that's good, it's
powerful. And when I started tobelieve that it was powerful, I

(04:01):
started to see it everywhere inthe leaders that I really
admire.

Ben Loy (04:04):
Okay. Can you paint a picture of what it might look
like when this is missingentirely from an organization?
And then also, like, what ispossible when this is running
really well?

Alex Judd (04:16):
Yeah. I think maybe a good lagging indicator of does
recognition and affirmationexist in your organization?
Like, are people having fun?Mhmm. Is a good is a is actually
a pretty good, way way to lookat it.
And maybe the first way to lookat it is, are you having fun?

(04:38):
And it's crazy. I can look atour organization. There have
been seasons and times where I'mnot having fun and the people
that I'm working with aren'thaving fun either by extension.
And you can just tell likethere's not celebration, there's
not recognition.
We're taking both what we domaybe a little too seriously,
but we're also taking ourselvesway too seriously. Conversely,

(05:01):
whenever celebration andrecognition are abundant,
wholehearted, and authentic, andI would highlight those three
words, abundant, wholehearted,and authentic, authentic being a
big one. It's crazy how funthing be things become. You
know, we were just at our inperson experience in Austin,
Texas, and and it was it it wasone of the best things our team

(05:23):
has ever done. It was 60leaders, and the reason why I
think I can say that, in anobjective way, non boastfully,
is some of our customers hastold have told me that's the
best thing you've ever done.
So it's like, okay. Awesome. Andwhat was neat is we would finish
these long, like, fifteen,sixteen, seventeen hour days,
and our team would have a littlebit of a powwow at the end of
the day, right? 10PM, somethinglike that. And a lot of times

(05:46):
we'd just sit around talkingabout how good things were going
and how like these amazingthings that were going on and
it's I didn't want to go to bed.
I was like, just want us to keephanging and neither and clearly
neither did y'all. Sometimes I'mgonna be like, we need to go to
bed, folks. Right? But but Ithink, again, you enjoy being
around each other. You enjoyaffirming each other.
It's not this thing that you'retrying to manufacture. You're

(06:08):
just there's a there's a heartof celebration and abundance in
the organization when this isgoing on well. Yeah. I guess is
there anything you wanna say tothat? And then we can talk about
what it looks like when it's notit's not around.

Ben Loy (06:21):
Yeah. So you highlighted those three key
things. You said it wasabundance Wholehearted.
Wholehearted and authentic. Canyou because in in my mind, some
of those things that there's alot of overlap and maybe the
direction that those could go.
Can you kind of distinguish whatthose three things are in this
context?

Alex Judd (06:37):
Yeah. I appreciate you for saying in this context.
Abundant. It's not beingwithheld. Right?
One of the proverbs I'm surewe'll talk on more in this
conversation today is, I thinkit's Proverbs three twenty
seven. Do not withhold good fromthose to whom it is due when it
is in your power to act. That'sa good proverb. And there are, I

(07:00):
know leaders and have actuallybeen counseled to act this way
that says, be very reserved withyour compliments to your people
because you want them to behungry for your compliments.

Ben Loy (07:12):
Right. Issues with that.

Alex Judd (07:14):
Yeah. Yeah. Me too. Right? Now now, the element of
truth that's in that that Ithink is good is we should not
be engaging in flattery, whichthere are personality types that
engage in flattery, which islike, I'm just saying stuff to
say stuff to make people smile.
It's not actually true.

Ben Loy (07:30):
Yeah.

Alex Judd (07:30):
That's not good leadership at all. But but, you
know, what we're really talkingabout there is flirting with the
line between motivation andmanipulation. And, you know, I
believe we're supposed tooperate in abundance, which is
when I see something good, I saysomething good. And I am not at
all going to say like, well, Igave them a compliment
yesterday, so I need to wait acouple weeks before I give them
another one. If it's true, youshould say it is what I should

(07:52):
is what I would say, but moreimportant what Proverbs would
say.
So so that's abundant.Wholehearted, you know, it
should come out of the overflow,of your heart. Right? Guard your
heart above all else, for out ofit flows the wellspring of life.
Out of the core of your being,is the Hebrew word, flows
everything you do.
And so what we want to do ishave a heart, a core, a will

(08:16):
that wants what's best forothers and for our words, our
celebration, our recognition,and even our habits that we're
going to talk about here in justa bit to flow out of that place.
And then authentic, we kind ofhit on this already, but we're
not talking about flattery here.We're not talking about just
niceties to be nice, right? Whatwe're talking about is telling

(08:40):
the truth as you see it. Andanother thing with that too that
I constantly have to monitormyself on, and I think there's
personality types that are likemine that have to monitor
themselves on, is like youactually decrease the power of
genuine recognition whenever youexaggerate.

(09:00):
Whenever you say, you are justthe best speaker that I've ever
met ever. Right? It's like, insome ways, we can look at that
and say that's a really goodthat's a really good compliment.
And if it's true, then maybe youshould say that. You you
probably should say that.
Right? But if it's not true andyou're just saying you're you're

(09:21):
a really exceptional speaker, Iwould rather you say, you are
such an exceptional speaker andhere's three three reasons why
than using some broad brushexaggerative statement that
people are actually gonnadiscount because they're like,
they're just saying stuff atthis point.

Ben Loy (09:34):
Yeah. Well, I mean, it takes in in many ways, like, in
the same way that often it takestrust and within the the
compounds of a relationship toreceive criticism. Like, you
should probably, as a just as anindividual in general, hold
compliments in the same way.It's like, does this person know

(09:55):
me at a level that they'reactually able to inform, you
know? And that's not to say tocompletely discount anything
anyone ever says to you, butunderstanding that, like, trust
is built through relationshipand with relationship comes the
impact of your words.
And so, you don't need to bespeaking with, like, these
overwhelmingly flattering, like,over the top words to be

(10:17):
acknowledging and celebratingpeople.

Alex Judd (10:18):
That's right. And and to that point, like, when you
say something, make sure youmean it. Do not say things you
don't mean. It was sointeresting to me. I I was
talking to Michelle after ourexperience.
Michelle was largely thelogistical mastermind behind the
experience that we just did inAustin. And it was a if she was
the mastermind, then it was alogistical masterpiece. It was

(10:40):
pretty remarkable, the number ofdetails that she was able to
attend to and execute withexcellence. And she made a point
of telling me, which the factthat she made a point of telling
me this is noteworthy. Sheshared with me that Brian Miles,
who's mentor and friend of mine,he and his wife Shannon,
brilliant entrepreneurs thatspoke at this experience, he had

(11:02):
come up to her on the final dayof the experience, and he just
paused her for a second, whichwe're gonna talk about here in
just a bit in the actions.
He paused her and said, hey.Just look at me real quick. And
then he said, you murdered this.Which might that that is
actually very authentic to thelanguage Brian uses. So but but
and then she what she said,though, in recanting this story

(11:24):
to me is she said, and I justget the feeling that Brian
doesn't just say stuff likethat.
What she's saying there is Iactually think that compliment,
like, was authentic, and and hesaid it because he meant

Ben Loy (11:39):
it. Mhmm.

Alex Judd (11:39):
And and because of that, it carried a ton of weight
for her. And so what we're notgonna say is don't say things
that you mean because you wannabe able to, you know, keep them
reserved and keep people hungry.Right. What we do wanna say is
say things that you really,really, really mean and make
sure you mean them whenever yousay them.

Ben Loy (11:57):
So, we have five leadership principles. Let's

(13:43):
just jump into the first one.What is it?

Alex Judd (13:45):
Yeah. So so these kind of inform why it's helpful
to think about the topic ofcelebration and recognition.
We'll run through theseprinciples somewhat rapid fire.
Number one is the things thatget rewarded get repeated. And
and so number one, it it showswhy we should be engaging in
recognition.

(14:05):
But then number two, be wiseabout what you recognize because
the thing that when yourecognize something, especially
publicly in your organization,it's literally you waving a flag
saying, everyone pay attention.I want all of us to do more of
this. And if you're not carefulwith that, you will reward and

(14:26):
recognize things that you don'tactually want to occur in an
organization. And so if someone,you know, say you have a
salesperson that just is gettinginsane results and you celebrate
them without simultaneouslypaying attention to the fact
that they were probablyexercising some toxic
competitiveness. The way thatthey got those sales are not

(14:48):
exactly aligned with theorganization's values, And they
basically said the means justifyor the ends justify the means,
so I'm going to do whatever ittakes.
You are waving a flag tellingpeople do stuff like that, and
they will is what's crazy ispeople are so driven by
recognition and affirmationwithin a culture that people

(15:09):
will repeat what you reward. Sobe very diligent and and
deliberate about what what youreward and what you recognize.

Ben Loy (15:17):
I guess that that's a really good example of when if
you're depending on which chairyou're sitting in and how much
insight you have, like, could beit seems like, oh, we're
rewarding this really good thingbecause they're performing well.
Then when you actually lookunder the hood, the means at
which they accomplish thatthing, you know, coming into
question. Yeah. Do you have anyother examples of what that

(15:39):
could look like? Like, somethingthat maybe from the outside
perspective is like, oh, well,of course, like, of course, we
would reward performance, but itwas misaligned with the
intention.

Alex Judd (15:51):
I mean, a very practical example that's
somewhat related is Right? Whenyou are designing compensation
plans, compensation isrecognition. Right? It's it's I
see what you're doing, and thisis what I value it as. Well,
I've seen organizations so oftensay, man, this person is
crushing acquisition, but theminute they acquire the

(16:12):
customer, the back end serviceafter we acquire the customer
sucks, and they don't care atall about the handoff.
Like, they don't pay attentionto the transition, and they're
not following up at all to makesure the customer gets served.
And it's like, okay. Well,what's their compensation? It's
like, well, we're paying themwe're we're paying them
commission on acquisitionstrictly. Mhmm.
Well, there you go. Right? Andyou could be the loudest leader

(16:35):
in the world. And I can say thisbecause I might give you a run
for your money. Run prettyloudly.
You could be the loudest leaderin the world, and your words
will not speak as loudly as thepaycheck that they get twice a
month. I guarantee that. And soyou are telling them what you
value based on what you pay themfor. And so it's really helpful
to constantly and consistentlymake sure that your comp plans

(16:59):
align with what you actuallywant to be reproduced in your
organization. And don't tellpeople, hey, I'm gonna pay you
for this because this is what'sactually valuable.
But then tell them, hey, butreally, I value these things
over here. If you value thesethings over here, find a way to
compensate for those things aswell. So it's not you talking
against the comp plan thatyou've already established.

Ben Loy (17:20):
Yeah. So we we've identified what maybe you don't
want to explicitly or or onlyreward. What does rewarding the
right things look like?

Alex Judd (17:29):
Yeah. I I love to shout out and recognize hidden
work. Right? I loved it as aleader, you know, and you can
see this in compensationpackages, but we already talked
some about that. But it's like,I often want to recognize here's

(17:49):
an example, like Bert orMichelle on our team for the
things that they do that mostpeople would call boring.
Right? And like when you callattention, you say, man, you do
boring things so well that noone even knows they're going on.
And that's the measure ofsuccess is we we never even

(18:09):
realize that this process isbeing executed just because it
happens like clockwork. It'salmost like a machine does it.
And it's because, man, you'reyou're you're so consistent.
You're so diligent. You're sorepetitive. So, you know, I
personally want for myself, butalso for our whole team to be
consistent, diligent, steadfast,not just extravagant, big,

(18:32):
creative, bold. And so I'm gonnarecognize those things that are
often going to be overlookedbecause that's something that I
wanna see reproduced in ourorganization. I also wanna call
attention not just to people'sperformance.
I wanna call attention to theircharacter. Mhmm. Because I wanna
constantly remind our people,every time you you as a leader

(18:53):
publicly affirm someone, you'remaking a culture bid. You're
saying this is something thatI'm hoping all of you pay
attention to because this issomething that I as a leader
value. And people people mightnot use that language, but they
pay attention to it.
And so, you know, you'rebasically saying pay attention
to this, value this because Ivalue this, and we wanna value
people's character, not justtheir performance. So I often

(19:16):
will use the phrase what you didwas good, but the way you did it
was what really stood out to mebecause I that's basically me
giving a talk to our team atthat point on the way we do what
we do means everything. Mhmm.Critically important.

Ben Loy (19:31):
Yeah. Was there anything else you wanted to say
on that before we move on?

Alex Judd (19:35):
You know, I no. I don't think so. Let's go on to
number two. So number two isdirectly related. It's culture
is what you create and or whatyou tolerate.
Mhmm. And so what we're talkingabout here is, like, what do you
want more of? Well, start byjust celebrating, recognizing,

(19:57):
and being thankful for that. Butthen also, what do you want less
of? Make sure you're nottolerating that.
That's less in the realm ofcelebration and recognition. But
also make sure that you're notcreating a culture that
celebrates and recognizes thingsthat you don't actually want in
your organization because thatcan be that can be really toxic

(20:17):
too.

Ben Loy (20:18):
Mhmm. What do you mean by that?

Alex Judd (20:20):
Let's use what can be a little bit of a sensitive
example. So we live in a time,and we are a company that really
values healthy growth. Right?And and we also believe in
freedom and responsibility. Youcan over index on those things,
and suddenly we're slappinghealthy growth as the bumper
sticker to excuse mediocrity.
And we're saying, oh man, youknow, you're doing such a good

(20:42):
job of taking off at 2PM andyou're doing such a good job of
being with your family over theweekend. Meanwhile, your work
isn't good, right? And likeyou're not giving your best.
You're not being wholehearted inwhat you do. And but if we if we
are celebrating or if we areendorsing mediocrity, that's not

(21:03):
helpful.
We're essentially tolerating.We're saying that, well, you
should, you know, take time offand lower your standards in
pursuit of that because that'shealthy growth. No. We need to
have a proper conception as ateam of what healthy growth
actually is and what freedom andresponsibility actually is. It's
another thing that I I havehonestly told our team before
and I have to remind myself ofis freedom and responsibility is

(21:24):
one of our core values, right,which means that, you know, we
experience uncommon freedom whenwe take uncommon responsibility.
If we're not careful, we canmake that principle overly
simplistic and say freedomequals vacation. Responsibility
equals work. Mhmm. And it'slike, no. That's not the value.

(21:46):
Right? The value is, man, when Ido good work and I take
responsibility for my work, Iexperience it as freedom. Right?
And certainly part of that is Iget to go on vacation and things
like that. That's great.
Right? But it's more than just,man, when I do good work, then
my payment for that is I get togo on vacation. No. It's man,
when I actually take fullresponsibility of that which has

(22:09):
been given to me to influenceSteward and be responsible for,
then the thing that I experiencein all of that is freedom and
that's what we really wantpeople to have an experience.
And so what we don't want to dois anytime someone goes on
vacation and they're off theirphone the whole time is to say,
man, that is exactly what we'retalking about when we say

(22:30):
freedom and responsibility.
That is one manifestation offreedom and responsibility. And
especially if they did a reallygood job documenting what needed
to be done and delegating whatneeded to be done. Awesome. But
we need to make sure that we'renot creating a culture that just
said it's, you know, vacation isthe value because that's not the
value. If it was, we would justsay vacation is one of our core
values.

Ben Loy (22:50):
Yeah. So you have you have both create and tolerate.
Right?

Alex Judd (22:55):
Yeah.

Ben Loy (22:56):
How does intentionality speak into those two things?

Alex Judd (23:01):
Yeah. Well, a lot. Right? We often tolerate things
that we, subconsciouslyinherited. Right?
And we just say, oh, well,that's just the way that it's
always been, and so that's theway that it's gonna be. Or we we
never took time to ask thequestion, is this best? Is this

(23:22):
best for our people? Is thisbest for our customers? It's
just something that wetolerated.
The minute we say, you know,we're going to take an active
role in creating the culturethat we actually want, well,
you're getting on offense atthat point. You're shifting your
leadership weight and yourinfluence from your heels to
your toes. And so to answer yourquestion, you're operating with

(23:46):
intent at that moment. And sowhat we're really talking about
here is what is the culture, notthat I, what is the culture that
we want to be a part of? And howdo we go about making that
happen more and more?
And I'm just submitting thatrecognition and affirmation are
a huge part of that. Mhmm.

Ben Loy (25:08):
Let's move on to the the third one, which is
invulnerability, leaders gofirst. Can you share a little
bit about why you put that onthere?

Alex Judd (25:16):
For me, one of my love languages is words of
affirmation, giving andreceiving. Right? I thrive on
that. That is not everyone'spersonality style. It is what I
know to be true.
And for a lot of people, wordsof affirmation feels very
vulnerable because, you know, weteach something called the six
stages of relationship and goodaffirmation and recognition

(25:37):
bridges the gap from what Ithink about you to what I feel
about you. And the minute you goto what I feel about you, like,
can be really it can be really,really tough for people. And, I
I was just having a conversationwith someone the other day. They
were at our experience. Wealways close our experience with
affirmations.
It's such a powerful time. And,like, I mean, literally within

(25:59):
seventy two hours of beingtogether, we the the room is in
tears. It's unbelievable. It'sreally, really powerful. And and
I think necessary for leaders.
That's why we do it every singletime. But someone was telling
me, they were like, I hadsomething that I I was just on
the edge of my seat wanting tosay, but I couldn't bring myself
to say it. I couldn't bringmyself to stand up and say it.

(26:20):
And certainly, in a room full of60 people where all eyes are on
you, that can be reallyintimidating and really hard.
But what I often see is thateven if it's not 60 people, even
if it's one person, there can bea lot of resistance that we face
to sharing people what we thinkwith people what we think about
them and telling people what wefeel about them.

(26:42):
It feels vulnerable. And what Iknow to be true is a lot of
times, leaders need to be thelast person to speak. Right? In
times where it's like ideationor or, you know, talking about
what the business is gonna domoving forward or planning or
things like that, you know,sharing of opinions, A lot of

(27:02):
times in those scenarios, it'sreally helpful for a leader to
be last to speak because theywant everyone's thoughts and
opinions to get out. Insituations that are vulnerable,
the leader actually needs to gofirst.

Ben Loy (27:13):
Mhmm.

Alex Judd (27:13):
Right? In situations where you are asking people to
give something of themselves,whether it's shout outs or
affirmations or telling peoplehow they, you know, express
gratitude for the year orsomething like that, people are
gonna sit back until they seesomeone be the living example of
what they want to be or whatthey aspire to be. And so a lot

(27:34):
of times, you you have to givesome of yourself first. You have
to be vulnerable first. And itfeels vulnerable.
It feels exposed because you'relike, we might do this
affirmations exercise, and Imight speak, and I might give my
whole self to this room. Andthen after that, it might be
crickets. And that that is scaryand intimidating. It's a good
thing you're not doing it foryou, though. Right?

(27:56):
If you are doing it for you,then you're not gonna do it.
Right? If you're doing it forbecause it's the right thing to
do and you're doing it for otherpeople, then that will give you
the courage to stand up andexercise that vulnerability.

Ben Loy (28:07):
Mhmm. I mean, I guess you've alluded it alluded to it
already talking about showingpeople how you or telling people
how you feel about them. Right?There's a there's a layer of
vulnerability there. Can youmaybe dive into, yeah, why why
does recognition and affirmationfeel so vulnerable both for the
person giving and sometimes eventhe person receiving it?

Alex Judd (28:27):
I would be interested to know your thoughts on this
because like like I said, thisis the you know, there are other
love languages that don't comeas naturally to me. This is the
one that that, yeah, like, I I Ilove this. Right? I literally
love this, and and it's one ofmy favorite things to do. So in
some ways, I would betheorizing.
But I guess any time you asksomeone to really tell you about

(28:51):
how they feel about you, it'slike I mean, right? We all know
this. Right? The first time Iever told Aspen I love you, the
fir the first thing that'scoming to my mind is, like, what
is she gonna say back right now?Right?
And I experienced a lot ofresistance with, man, like, when
am I gonna do this? And do Iwant to do this? Because what is
she gonna say back? Andeventually so that's an area

(29:14):
where I struggled with it.Right?
Eventually, it got to the pointwhere I was like, I don't care
what she says back. It's notabout what she says back to me
about me because this is reallyhow I feel about her. Mhmm. And
if I can do it in that arena, Ican do it in other arenas pretty
pretty easily. It's like, I'mgonna give myself and at risk of
being rejected, at risk that youmight not receive it, at risk

(29:37):
that you might not say nicethings back, and that's okay
Because in some ways, what we'retalking about here is this is a
gift.
Right? I am blessing you withthis, and you could you know,
what I find is people rarely, ifever, reject your affirmation,
but, especially if it'swholeheartedly given in
abundance with authenticity. Butultimately, the result doesn't

(30:00):
really matter if it's the rightthing to do. Yeah. Is there
anything you would add to that?

Ben Loy (30:05):
As far as why why is so resistance?

Alex Judd (30:09):
Like, why do people not do this?

Ben Loy (30:11):
I I mean, I think I think you already you already
spoke to it like that. Yeah.What if it's not received well?
What if they don't, yeah. Whatif it's not received well?
What if they don't care? Whatif, you know, what if it's
weird? What if it'suncomfortable? What if it's
awkward? What if what I say is,like, doesn't resonate?
Like, I think there's I thinkthere's a lot of, like, I, I,
me, me, me in those questions.Yeah. Right? And, and then it

(30:36):
then it's just a matter of,yeah, if I guess if you're
framing it in a way of like, oh,no, the intention of this is to
serve them, that would probablysolve, like, most most of the
anxiety around something likethat.

Alex Judd (30:49):
And it's hard to give what you haven't received. Yeah.
So, you know, that's why I thinkit's one of the reasons why we
do affirmations at the end ofour experiences is because a lot
of times people, you know, grewup in homes or are now playing
the leadership role where noone's asking me how can I
encourage this person buteveryone's looking to this
person for encouragement? Yeah,it's really, I mean, you can't

(31:12):
give what you haven't received.You have, but it is like a
muscle in that way.
Mhmm. Right? I just get thisfeeling and it's one of the
visions that motivates ourexperiences. Like we've got
leaders that were in that roomthat are gonna be, like, the
world's most encouraging leadersthis week because they just,
like, their cup is overflowing,and now they're just looking for
opportunities to encourage andaffirm the way that they were

(31:34):
encouraged and affirmed. AndChristmas is such a wonderful
time to do that.
Right? That's when this episodeis airing is right in between
that critical juncture betweenThanksgiving and Christmas. It
doesn't have to be a Christmas,but this is a good time to get
started. And what's cool aboutthat is, you know, I I always
think about it. It's like whenyou move into a new house,
you've got, like, that threeweek juncture where if you see

(31:55):
your neighbor, you should askwhat their name is.
Because if we get six monthsdown the road and you're now
asking what their name is,you're like, oh, dead gum it.
It's too late. Right? And so sothat three week juncture is a
critical time to bake thecookies, ask what their name is,
meet people, all of that. Takeadvantage of that time.
Christmas kind of provides thatfor our team as it's like,
you've got this, like, uniquewindow where it's not gonna

(32:17):
totally blind sign people if yousuddenly get really warm and
affirmative and, like, positiveand it's like so if you need
that to be like, I'm gonnaexercise a little bit of
vulnerability, blame it onChristmas. Right? Just say like,
tis the season, I guess I caughtthe bug and I don't wanna be
Scrooge. I just wanna say how Ifeel about y'all real quick.

Ben Loy (32:35):
Yeah. I think I stole this from you, but I mean,
recently

Alex Judd (32:39):
So it might not might not be a very good thing.

Ben Loy (32:43):
But, I mean, recently, I in in the last actually, no,
this this goes directly back toPath for Growth. July, we had
our team experience and we didSure. Did. You know, it was my
first experience of ofaffirmations and affirmation
station and and that wholething, and and I left that
thinking, yeah, like, and Ithink you had you had said it at

(33:03):
some point either there orbefore of, like, not leaving
things left unsaid. And thatspecifically resonated with me,
and it's so simple and easy toremember.
Yeah. Just, like, not leavingthings left unsaid. And so as
yeah. I guess over the last fewmonths, as people come to mind,
I just that, like, kinda echoesin my in my brain, and I'm I've

(33:27):
been a lot more forward with,like, expressing gratitude for
people and taking the time to tosend that text or that voice
memo or or whatever. And and,yeah, it is vulnerable.
It is and it is sometimes it'sunexpected. I mean, sometimes
I'm like, yeah, 8AM on a Monday.Here you go, dude. Like, long
text, scripture, like, all thisstuff. But I'm just like, man,
I'm just grateful for you and,like, this is the time that I

(33:49):
just felt that and, and, like,I'm gonna do this.
And in many ways, like, theintention is to build others up,
But in the practice of that hasbeen so good and edifying for me
because I just feel when I thinkabout the people in my life and
I think about the ways that theLord is using them and, like,

(34:11):
their character and how God hasdesigned them for specific
passions and gifts and the waythat they're using them, like, I
leave those moments feeling soinspired. Like, I mean, just
overflowing with inspiration formy own life and the lives around
me and and that starts with withvulnerability, right? Leading
with vulnerability. And andsometimes those messages are met

(34:33):
with, like, a reciprocation,which is awesome, but it's not
an expectation. Mhmm.
But, like, in in many ways, notfrom the spirit of self-service,
yeah, it's like gratitude begetsgratitude. Like, that
vulnerability is a reflection ofOr it gives other people a
reflection of what could be andhopefully inspires them to

(34:56):
continue that pattern forward.

Alex Judd (34:58):
Yeah. And, you know, don't even think about it just
in the context of your company.Right? It's it's like, you know,
it's good for everyone if thegood things that you see in the
world get repeated. And so,like, wouldn't it be a shame if
you saw good things going on andyou didn't say anything about
it?
Because that's gonna decreasethe chance that that person has
the motivation and energy torepeat those things. Mhmm. It's

(35:19):
like, it does not cost youanything to look at the cashier
at the grocery store and say,man, the whole time I've been
checking out through this line,you've been smiling. And, like,
that's just awesome. Fiveseconds.
Right? And, I mean, can changeso much. And so just putting on
our recognition, like,sunglasses in some ways and

(35:39):
saying, like, I'm gonna see andsay stuff everywhere that I go
is is a really good standard tohold.

Ben Loy (35:46):
Let's move on to number four. Recognition is like
perfume. Yeah. Explain. Yeah.

Alex Judd (35:52):
I heard someone say this on Carrie Newhof's
leadership podcast. He'sactually a pastor of one of the
fastest growing churches in thecountry right now, and it's here
in Phoenix. It's, is it CCV?Christ Church of the Valley.
Yeah.
Pastor of that church. I thinkhis name is Ashley, which I was
like, his name is Ashley. That'skinda cool. I'm down. I haven't
met Ashley, but Ashley, you'rehere in the Valley.

(36:13):
We'd love to have you on thepodcast. So so he said
recognition is like perfume. Hesaid, it's nice to be around and
it's good to smell, but if youdrink it, it's poison and pretty
good. Right? It's like, oh, Ilike the smell of that.
Some of us, some of us drinkrecognition, and that is
poisonous to our soul. And notonly do we do that, we we teach

(36:36):
our team to drink recognition.We we make their end all, be all
value and worth, you know, andwe reinforce their belief that
their value and worth comes fromthe things that they do. And,
you're teaching them to drinkperfume at that point. You're
you're teaching them to drinkpoison.
And what's really tough aboutthat is if people get obsessed

(37:00):
with the headlines of the bestthings that they've done, then
the critics are gonna crushthem. Mhmm. Right? What we
really want to be is people thataren't really moved all that
much one way or the other byheadlines or by critique, but
rather we're steady and andthese recognitions are nice
encouragements for movingforward, but they are not at all

(37:20):
statements about our identity.Yeah.
And so I I just felt like thatwas worth highlighting here. And
before we get into the practicalside of this episode is we
always need to properlycontextualize the way that we
receive recognition and the waywe extend it.

Ben Loy (37:36):
How do you fight against or solve for that?

Alex Judd (37:39):
I mean, be have your identity rooted in something
that's immovable, I think, is isthe biggest thing that I would
say. And then I think this iswhere it's crucial too. Like, we
say, oh, hey. What you did isnot who you are. A lot of times
when people do things that arewrong, like you made mistakes,
things like that, we also needto remind people that when they
do good things and all of that,that's not who they are either.

(38:01):
Mhmm. Right? And so we just needto remind people like, hey,
you're not perfect. And and thiswon't happen every time, but it
did happen this time. And I I dowanna call attention to how you
did such a good job of this.
Right? You know, a good example,this is I I already alluded to
it. Michelle worked so hard onthis past experience and she had
she had some late nights lastweek. Right? Yeah.

(38:24):
And so, like, me just beingquite frankly, hopefully a
strong leader, but also a goodfriend to her is saying like,
hey, you're now on this likehigh high, which is awesome. And
it would be really easy for youjust to keep that going and just
like basically run on adrenalinein the next week. I just said
like, I think it would be goodfor you to take a breather and

(38:47):
take a rest, and just recognize,like, you just did all these
awesome things and they wereawesome, but that's not who you
are and that, like, I don't youdon't have to be working late
nights every night for you to bea valued contributing member of
this team. And so let's just hitthe reset button now and get
back on to some normal rhythms.I think we've got to make sure
that we treat people as thoughtheir work is not who they are,

(39:10):
their work is where they serve,and that they're serving from a
good place.

Ben Loy (39:13):
Yeah. And when you're running a team full of threes on
the Enneagram, that's extraenthusiasm.

Alex Judd (39:17):
Yeah. When you are a three on the Enneagram, yeah, we
got a lot of achievers in ourbusiness.

Ben Loy (39:23):
There's two sitting across the table from each other
right now and

Alex Judd (39:26):
we got some more. Olivia, Michelle. Yeah, Exactly.
And and Yeah. So, yeah,encouraging.
You know, it it goes to we webit off some pretty intense
strategic priorities for q fourhere. Like, myself, you, Olivia,
and Michelle, we've got a lot ofwork that we want to accomplish
above and ahead of where wecurrently are. And and

(39:48):
thankfully, you know, when wedid our strategic priority
meeting, we were all extremely,like, energized by it, game on
for it. We we all knew it was alot of work, but we were game on
for it. And I felt like themessage that I was supposed to
send and share with our team onthe back end of defining those
strategic priorities was notthis, like, hey.

(40:10):
Let's give it everything weabsolutely have and sell
ourselves out for thesepriorities and we're gonna cross
this finish line q four. Right?I actually felt like like that
is in each of these individuals.They got that message. Right?
They've got the pep rally.They've got the pep talk. They
they each have proven thatthey're holding an extremely
high standard with getting workacross the finish line. And so I

(40:32):
was like, that's not what Ithink my role to say is here is
my role is to say, hey,remember, Thanksgiving's coming
up. Christmas is coming up.
This is a really critical timefor our experience. Like, we are
not gonna miss out on beingpresent with the things that
matter most to get these thingsacross the finish line, and do
not allow the fact that you haveto finish your strategic

(40:55):
priorities keep you fromcelebrating the incarnation of
Jesus Christ, which is crazythat we need to say that, but
we, like, need to say that. Andwe're very capable of not. And
so also just kind of, you know,recognizing, like, that's goes
into what you reward will getrepeated. If if we reward a
sellout mentality to achieve thegoal, then we will get more of

(41:18):
that, and it will probablyreduce tenure on our team
because people will burn out andburn up.
Right? But I guess the finalcaveat I would give to that is
it takes leadership wisdom toknow, do these people need a
push and a motivational talk, ordo they need an encouragement
word of grace And which one tooffer at the right time Mhmm. I

(41:44):
think is really, really it'ssomething that I wouldn't have
even known to do five years agothat I know a little bit more
about now.

Ben Loy (41:49):
And I guess in the spirit of recognition, I think
you did it really well.

Alex Judd (41:53):
Good. Well, we'll see.

Ben Loy (41:55):
No, I mean, it was I know for me personally, it it
was a really it was a good,like, speed bump to just be
like, oh, yeah, like, we are,like, we are going into this
holiday season and, and I and Iknow me personally, like, I have
things going on during thisholiday season that are gonna
pull me out of town and be busy.And, like, I wanna be present
with those people that I'm gonnabe with. And it was a good it

(42:17):
was a good heart check of like,oh, yeah. Like, this and the New
Year is just around the cornerand and, yes, we can we can
achieve this, but, like, at whatcost? Yeah.

Alex Judd (42:29):
Right? And it's not to say that we're not trying to
achieve it. No. We're activelyand but what, you know, what I
kind of saw in that is I waslike, I think me saying this
actually might be moreinspirational to working hard in
the times we need to work hard.Yeah.
Which is you you wouldn'tnecessarily think that, and it
requires a little bit more trustand faith to say that. But it's
why understand this is acritical recognition principle

(42:50):
that I don't think we expectedto get into is if you're going
to recognize well, you need tounderstand what your people are
motivated by. Yep. And that,like, what is driving and
motivating them is criticalbecause you could be recognizing
with, with things that theydon't actually care about that
much. And meanwhile, there's allthis opportunity to recognize,

(43:13):
incentivize with things theyactually do care about.
You're just unaware. So reallyunderstanding what motivates
people is is really helpful.

Ben Loy (43:21):
Mhmm. Let's move on to the last one before we we dive
into the practical real quick.

Alex Judd (43:26):
These final two are kinda like warnings in some
ways.

Ben Loy (43:29):
Yes. Yeah. I would I would agree. So the last one is
there's a difference betweengenerosity and recognition.
Yeah.
I I mean, even I actually havequest like, questions that yeah.
What is the difference betweengenerosity and recognition?

Alex Judd (43:42):
I actually have questions. Yeah. Yeah.
Generosity is, giving withoutexpectation of anything in
return, and it's not contingentupon anything either. Right?
Generosity is selflessly givingof yourself or your resources to
other people. So when I give aChristmas bonus to a member of

(44:06):
our team and say, hey, I justwanted to give you this $1,000
check because it's Christmas,and I just appreciate who you
are, and I just wanted to begenerous. What I'm not saying
there is, man, you crushed yourq four goal, and I just wanted
to say Merry Christmas. Thoseare two very different messages.
And and we don't we probablydon't have the time.

(44:27):
And and, honestly, like, I'm I'mthis is probably something I'm
still working through on my own.Recognition often comes to a
degree with expectation. Itcomes with an expectation of,
like, you did something, and andas a result, I wanna say thank
you for that. I wanna make sureI'm recognizing that effort. But
then also, there there's yourecognize with the expectation

(44:47):
of a return of things beingrepeated.
Generosity, a lot of timesthings get repeated, but you're
you're kinda just putting upyour hands and being like, this
is a generosity play. Right? AndI I just wanna give because I
feel compelled to give. Andunderstanding the difference
between the two is really,really critical. We had a member
of the Path for Growth communityrecently that his company paid

(45:10):
for the funeral expenses of afamily's daughter that passed
away, I believe, at age 13.
Yeah. Tragic situation. So sad.Was that recognition or
generosity? No one is asking howdid this team member perform

Ben Loy (45:27):
Yeah.

Alex Judd (45:28):
And and allowing that to influence, should we do this?
No. What they said is this isthe right thing to do. We feel
God is calling us to do this,and so we are going to do this.
And that is divorced from anyred, yellow, green.
And that's I think why that's soimportant is because it helps
preserve the beauty of truegenuine generosity, and is it it
doesn't distort it intosomething that's manipulation.

(45:51):
And so distinguishing betweenthe two of, like, if you're
gonna recognize for effort takenand and accomplishments
achieved, do that. And I thinkthat that's really good. And
then I think there's also spacesto be generous. Just recognize
that those are two differentthings.

Ben Loy (46:06):
Yeah. And and I

Alex Judd (46:08):
would say maybe you can recognize generously. Yes.

Ben Loy (46:11):
Yeah. Yeah. I I do like the, I mean, the distinguishment
though, because it also createsseparating that language and
creating language around itcreates intentionality. So it's
like, oh, I mean, a leader canstep back and go, yeah, where
where are the areas that I'mmaking room and margin for me to
just be generous? And then alsoMhmm.
Where are the areas where I ambeing intentional about

(46:32):
recognizing the people that I'mleading in a way that's
recognizable and effective andregular. And so I feel like most
of my questions with thatspecifically are more in the
practical realm. So, let's justdive into the, you say you have
seven practices.

Alex Judd (46:50):
Yeah. And I think these are really simple. Like, I
think it's very practical. Andso, hopefully, we're bought into
the reality and power ofcelebration recognition. Now
we're just saying, how do we dothese things?
And I honestly think my goalwould be choose one of these
that you want to do. Some ofthem are leadership things. Some
of them are more personalindividual things. Choose one

(47:10):
and do that between now and theend of the year and maybe
consider creating a habit orrhythm of doing it regularly.

Ben Loy (47:17):
Mhmm. What's What's the first one?

Alex Judd (47:20):
Yeah, it's creating space and framework for peer to
peer shoutouts. So this canhappen two ways. It can be maybe
it's a Slack channel that youhave or whatever platform you
use for, what would it be, asynccommunication, right, where
people can post in their shoutouts, right, and create that

(47:41):
space. But then also, what Iwould say is the best teams that
I know, I've been a part of, wedo this on our team, We work
with many companies that do thisin their in their, like, team
communication meetings. Sothey've got the full team there.
They've got their departmentleads there or things like that.
They just create space. Maybeit's fifteen minutes for, like,
what shout outs do people have?One of the best examples I've

(48:03):
seen in this is with a team, ofabout 30 I believe it's about 35
people now that we work with inAustin, Texas, Five Stone Tax.
And JP, is the owner of FiveStone Tax, and they do a team
meeting.
I believe it's once a month. Andin that team meeting, they just
open it up for shout outs. Andwhat's so cool is they've

(48:24):
created the culture where peopleare showing up to that meeting
ready with things to say. And Imean, people are clapping,
people are laughing, and peopleleave that meeting smiling.
Right?
And so in some ways, one of theways we teach accountability is
the team holds the teamaccountable, not the leader.
It's not the leader that holdsthe team accountable. It's the

(48:44):
team holds the team accountable.The same is true with the
recognition. The leader does notrecognize the team.
The team recognizes the team. Socreating the environment where
people can do that across theorganizations and where it's
like, hey, this is now when wedo that. You're all you're doing
is providing the speed bump sothat people take time to say,
what was good and right and truethat happened that I saw

(49:06):
recently, and how do I make suresomeone hears about that?

Ben Loy (49:09):
The the second one, is write handwritten notes, and I
actually experienced this fromyou pretty recently, and it's
one of my personal favorites.But Well, good to know. Shed
some light in on that.

Alex Judd (49:21):
Yeah. Well, I I I've got a lot of people that I could
speak to kind of beinginspirations in this regard, but
probably the one that stands outas the most ruthlessly
consistent is Tracy Pinais.Tracy is one of our one on one
coaching clients. She, thatwoman, you do not see that woman
in person without receiving agift and a handwritten note. But
here's what's also cool is Iknow this because I get to coach

(49:42):
Tracy.
She, her high return habit is soshe runs a a franchise
organization. They have, Ithink, a 153 franchisees right
now all across the country. Andher high return habit is every
day she writes a handwrittennote of encouragement to a
franchisee. Love that.

Ben Loy (50:00):
Unbelievable. And that takes some intentional time to
do.

Alex Judd (50:02):
That takes some intentional Especially

Ben Loy (50:03):
running a business, like, to take yeah. That love
it.

Alex Judd (50:06):
Dude, and and she just she's a machine. Yeah.
Right? But then she's not amachine because it's like you
get it and you're like, sheactually saw. She actually
noticed.
Like, her heart is in this. Andand, yeah. So I just admire
Tracy so much in that regard.And and so, you know, when you
think about a handwritten note,what is the power of it? Well,
the power of it is it's so rarenowadays.

(50:30):
The second thing is is it's likeit's like these mini moments.
Like, what do people get in themail now? Ads and bills. Right?
Like, that's what people get inthe mail.
Right? And so if you get ahandwritten note in the mail,
you're like, before you evenopen it, you're feeling good.
And then you see whose name ison it and you're like, man, this
is awesome. And then numberthree, it's something that you

(50:51):
can keep with you, which isreally, really critically
important. So shout out toTracy.
She does such a wonderful job ofthat, and and her actions, I
know, inspire other people to dothe same.

Ben Loy (51:03):
Yeah. This is less leadership based but more just
on the on the, I think, thepower of, like, handwritten
letters and notes. When I wasin, when I was in boot camp, a,
my my parents sent a letterevery single day and we didn't
even get mail every single day.And so I was getting, like well,
on the days we did get mail, Iwas getting, like, multiple
letters from them and, like,realized, like, oh, wow, like,

(51:24):
my dad literally, like, boughtsometimes it was, like, a
Hallmark letter that was funnyor whatever but, like, took the
time every single day while Iwas in boot camp for eight weeks
to like write a letter, put itput a stamp on it, put it in the
mail, and was like thinking ofme. And so that was awesome and
I kept many of them.
But in that same thought, like agroup of friends that I lived

(51:47):
with in Tucson, some of myclosest friends, collectively
wrote a bunch of letters andstuck it in one envelope and
sent it to me as just, like,encouragement while I was there.
And, yeah, like, kept them.Like, still have them. They're
in a box. I like every everytime I move or, like, I'm
cleaning things out, I comeacross them and I sit down and I
lose about, like, an hour ofproductivity because I'm just,

(52:07):
like, reading through them andI'm and just remembering and,
like, it's so anyway, it's it'san incredible tool to use.

Alex Judd (52:14):
It's something that we do, before our in person
experiences and we've done itsince year one is we write
everyone that's attending ahandwritten letter and our team
does that. And that was mucheasier whenever we had 13 people
showing up to our experience.Now we have 60 people showing up
to our experience, and it'slike, we still do it. And why do
we still do it? Well, there'smany reasons, but one of the

(52:35):
reasons is is, like, we arerequesting of people to give
themselves at this experience.
Like, we are asking of them topour themselves into it. So like
we already said, we shouldprobably go first. And so, like,
we're gonna invest a little bitof our time, energy personally
into them before they even havethe opportunity to invest into

(52:56):
this experience. Mhmm. And,yeah, so powerful.
Like, so powerful. Do not forgetthe value of just handwriting a
note. Yeah.

Ben Loy (53:05):
It's a good number three.

Alex Judd (53:07):
Yeah. The final thing I would say on number two too
is, like, we're talked about itwith your team a lot, but, like,
I dare you leave a handwrittennote for your spouse, like, in
the next week. Good things seemto happen when you do that. Just
saying. Okay.
Let's go to, number three. Somake proactive phone calls. So
there's a story behind this one,and I think I've shared on the

(53:29):
podcast before. Olivia on ourteam, one of the things that I
realized is, like, man, I Ican't even remember how I
realized this. But I I realized,if I'm not careful, we have a
remote team.
And the only time Olivia, who'sour coaching manager, sees my
name pop up on her phonespontaneously we have our
regular one on one meetings. Butwhat I was thinking about is,
like, when she sees my name popup on her phone spontaneously,

(53:52):
it's one of two things. One is II have a request to make of her.
Number two is I have feedback togive her. And I was like, man,
that's a that's, like, not agreat way to experience my name
popping up on your phone.
And I don't wanna repeat thatnecessarily. And so I just made
the decision, like, I'm going tostart rewriting that narrative a

(54:14):
little bit. And had rememberedthat she did a talk, not
actually part of Path forGrowth. She facilitated a panel
at a women in business summit ather church. And, and I just made
the point of watching thatrecording, and then I just gave
her a spontaneous phone call.
And I said, like, Olivia well,she answered the phone. She's
like, hey, Alex. And I was like,she's expecting feedback or a

(54:37):
request. And then, and then Ijust asked her. I said, Olivia,
I've got a two minute version ora a thirty minute version.
Which one do you want? And shesaid, well, I was just about to
sit the boys down for lunch, andI need to make sure that, like,
they're set and good to go. Socan we do the two minute version
now? And then if we need to, wecan schedule a thirty minute one
later. And I was like, yeah.
That's totally fine. I said, Iwon't keep you for too long, but

(54:58):
I just watched your recordingfrom the panel that you
facilitated, and I've got awhole list of amazing things
that you did. You were sohumorous. You were so
intentional. You worked with theroom that was given to you.
You made sure that people hadthe opportunity to hear their
voice heard. You got really,really practical in the content
with people. You did such a goodjob, and I just wanna make sure

(55:18):
you heard from me. Like, I am sograteful for your example. I'm
so grateful for your leadership,and I'm really, really proud of
the way, that you led on thatpanel.
And she she, like, had tears inher eyes. Like, maybe we could
do the thirty minute version.And and why was it so impactful?
Well, because I hadn't done itin quite a while. Right?

(55:39):
And it's so fun. It's so fun,especially if it's authentic to
just blindside people by lookingfor opportunities to just call

Ben Loy (55:47):
and

Alex Judd (55:48):
say, all I've got for you is a word of encouragement.
So I would just take time to dothat, you know, and that can be
for people on your team, thatcan be for people you lead with,
that can be for people.Sometimes it's even harder to do
with people that are family orclose friends because a lot of
times, I'm like, I need to havea reason to call, and that's not
a reason. That can be a reasonis what I need to remember.

Ben Loy (56:08):
Yeah. I love that story.

Alex Judd (56:10):
Yeah. I know I've told that story before.

Ben Loy (56:12):
Yeah. We're running out of time, so I think we need to
get through the next next fouror so.

Alex Judd (56:17):
But Okay.

Ben Loy (56:17):
Number four is share public affirmations, which we
do. We just got done doing atour experience. I know we just
talked about this, but, share alittle more on that.

Alex Judd (56:26):
Yeah. I think of affirmations being different
than shout outs and then shoutouts are oftentimes here's what
you did. Affirmations is, hey, Iwanna call out and encourage
something that you are.

Ben Loy (56:36):
Mhmm.

Alex Judd (56:36):
And so I really like to distinguish that. And
creating space for you to sharepublicly, I think private
affirmations are necessary andgood, but I also think that
there's a space for publicaffirmation. And you this is one
where really, as a leader, like,take, you know, take the leap.
Go first. Be willing to give atoast to someone or affirm

(56:59):
someone or call out someone inyour meeting and just say, I
wanna public I wanna publiclyaffirm you for who you are, and
here's the many ways that I'veseen that play out.
This is a uniquely powerful timeto do that, and I just hope that
leaders take advantage of that.And with that, I think it
actually connects to numberfive, which is, to the degree
that you can, don't just sharethose affirmations with the

(57:22):
individual, share them withtheir spouses. You wanna see
grown men become smitten. Like,affirm them, like, in front of,
the woman that they love mostand, like, watch their woman,
like, nod their head and, like,like, just adore that. It's so
it's so good.
It's so cool. Because just thinkabout the context. And this

(57:43):
occurs both ways, right? Is thehusband or wife goes to work,
and they work really hard, andthey care deeply. And then they
come back, and they tellstories, hopefully, and share
small details about what theirday looked like.
But if they're not a boastfuland braggadocious human being,
they're not coming back andsaying, let me tell you about

(58:04):
all the amazing things that Idid today. And so their spouse
oftentimes doesn't get to see,number one, all the great things
that they're doing, but theyalso don't get to see how
appreciated they are. And sogetting creative, whether it's
during an affirmation at aChristmas dinner that their
spouse is at, maybe it's writinga handwritten note to their

(58:25):
spouse, which I've seen leadersdo before, but it's making sure
their spouse hears about all allthe great things that they're
doing and the important personthat they are for the
organization is a powerful formof recognition.

Ben Loy (58:37):
That goes into the next one which is to thank their
spouse, right?

Alex Judd (58:42):
Yes, exactly. So the next one is like, you know, we
just talked about thanking themin front of their spouse or
affirming them in front of theirspouse. Sometimes you just need
to shift your eyes entirely andsay like, I want to thank you
because if I'm experiencing anyexcellence in this person, I
know that it's it's certainlynot because they have a negative

(59:03):
home environment. It's notbecause they have a neutral home
environment. It's that becausethey have an excellent home
environment.
Mhmm. And you play a role inthat. I have I have you know,
this is what I want to tell thespouses on our team. I have
never seen a person performexceptionally well whose
marriage was really, reallytumultuous bad and they weren't
feeling supported at home. Andright now, our whole team is

(59:25):
performing exceptionally well.
So I could thank all of them,but I get to see them all the
time. I want to spend this timeto thank you. Mhmm. And, a lot
of times, spouses are the unseenheroes behind the great work
that your people do, and one ofthose people is your spouse.
Right?
Like, and so everything that wejust said, like publicly

(59:48):
affirming your spouse in frontof the people that you lead, we
just I mean, at the experiencethat we just had, we were doing
affirmations. Right? I I did amove that I don't know if I
should have done or not, but Igave all 60 people. I said, this
is Aspen's phone number. I wantyou to know none of this would
would have occurred if itweren't for her love, care, and
support.
And, like, we are getting betteras a community because of her,

(01:00:10):
and she wasn't able to be therethat night because she was
putting Lily to bed. And so Isaid, like, I I would just
appreciate it if you wouldaffirm her. Right? Get creative
on this one to make sure thespouses feel, how much you value
who they are and what they do.

Ben Loy (01:00:25):
This last one, which is slow them down to receive it. I
mean, just thought of Brianstopping Michelle and, like
Yeah. Like, look into my eyes,right, like, hear what I am
saying. Yeah. Can you share alittle bit more on that before
we close out?

Alex Judd (01:00:39):
Yeah. Well, we know this because we feel it. Right?
It it's hard it's hard to giveaffirmation because it feels
vulnerable if it's wholehearted.Right?
You're giving a piece of yourheart. It's also hard to receive
affirmation, genuineaffirmation, because it feels
vulnerable. And and so what dowe do is we often deflect with

(01:01:03):
self deprecation. Well, I wasn'tthat good or I'm not all that.
Right?
Or we deflect to the team, whichis a good leadership practice.
Well, there are a lot of peoplethat were really, really
involved. Or, you know, there'sother strategies that we use to
basically say that light isreally bright and I don't want
it on me. And I'm not evensaying we shouldn't use

(01:01:24):
strategies. But as a leader,notice when people are using
those strategies and have theguts to say, hey, I I know that
they're doing a great job.
I know that you've got anamazing team, but this doesn't
happen without yourintentionality and without your
effort. And then look them deadin the eye. Look them dead in
the eye. And I just want you toknow that I see you, and you're

(01:01:47):
working so hard. You're doingsuch a good job with such
character and and well done.
It's doubling back, slowing themdown to be able to receive. And
what's crazy is I've seen thishappen before. You say to them
the first time, they deflect.You slow them down, look them in
the eyes, say it a second time,and they get tears in their

(01:02:09):
eyes. And now you know they'vereceived it.
And so you're leading by settingthe pace in these conversations.
And so set the pace well, slowpeople down, and and, you know,
lead them in the receiving ofaffirmation in their heart, not
just in their head.

Ben Loy (01:02:27):
Yeah. Was there anything you wanted to say
before we close out?

Alex Judd (01:02:30):
Yeah. We already said, you know, Christmas is
this wonderful time where insome ways people are primed to
be able to do this, and you youalso probably have team dinners
or team meetings or team partiesor stuff like that. That's a fun
time to give gifts, and andthat's a fun time to eat good
food and drink good wine and allof that. And I think you should
do all of that. The leadershippart, of this season comes in

(01:02:55):
what we're talking about here.
And and not just giving a check,not just giving, not just giving
a few pre primed words toeveryone, but giving individual
recognition and affirmation tospecific people. And I would
just tell you, the leaders thatreally maximize this season and
service for other people are aregonna go first in that. They're

(01:03:18):
gonna be vulnerable. They'regonna give their whole heart to
it, and people are gonnabenefit. And I believe in that
God is going to be glorified.
Mhmm. Thanks, Alex. Thanks, Ben.Well, there you have it. Thanks
so much for joining us for thisepisode.
If you want any of theinformation or resources that we
mentioned, that's all in theshow notes. Hey. Before you go,
could I ask you for one quickfavor? Could you subscribe,

(01:03:42):
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(01:04:04):
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(01:04:24):
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