Pat Walsh speaks with Allie Kephart, Chief Operating Officer of WEAVE, about domestic violence, available resources, and how the organization supports survivors in Sacramento. Together they discuss the importance of recognizing abuse in all its forms while challenging harmful misconceptions about violent relationships.
• WEAVE was founded in 1978 to provide safe spaces for domestic violence survivors
• The organization expanded to become Sacramento's rape crisis center in 1988 and began supporting sex trafficking victims in 2009
• WEAVE's vision statement is "when everyone acts, violence ends"
• Domestic violence can take many forms including physical, emotional, financial, technological, sexual and psychological abuse
• Financial abuse affects 90-95% of domestic violence survivors seeking help
• WEAVE operates a 24/7 confidential support line staffed by trained advocates at 916-920-2952
• All services are confidential and survivor-centered, empowering individuals to make their own decisions
• The organization runs two thrift stores where donations help survivors rebuild their lives
• WEAVE offers free educational presentations to help community members recognize, respond to, and refer cases of abuse
• Anyone experiencing or concerned about abuse is encouraged to reach out - you are not alone and it's not your fault
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, call WEAVE's 24/7 support line at 916-920-2952 or visit www.weaveinc.org for resources and information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
happy Wednesday to you, my friends, to all the pets
peeps podcast listeners.
I'm so very grateful.
Today is the second day of Julyand, as I look out my studio
windows into the beautifulfoothills of Northern California
, it is a little breezy, butit's going to be another hot day
.
Wherever you are, wherever youare listening, I thank you very,
(00:38):
very much for that.
By the way, my name is Pat Walshand, for those of you who know
or maybe don't know, I'm thehost of the Pat Walsh Show, as
heard on KFPK Radio 93.1 FM,1530 AM and, of course,
streaming live, just like thispodcast, and on your iHeart
platform and on all of yourstreaming platforms.
(00:59):
Today's podcast is going to bea little more serious and a very
difficult topic, and to join mefor this very difficult topic
today and that we're going to betalking about essentially is
domestic violence and some otherissues with domestic violence,
(01:20):
and joining me to talk aboutthat and I'm very, very grateful
for this is Allie Kephart, whois the chief operating officer
for Weave Weave, by the way,doing great things in our
community for a very long timeand, allie, I really appreciate
you joining me on my podcasthere today.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Well, thank you so much for having me.
I'm happy to be here.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
My pleasure.
Weave, by the way, is aSacramento.
Correct me if I'm wrong.
This is a Sacramento-basednonprofit organization and what
you guys do, like I say, is sogreat.
You support survivors ofdomestic violence, sexual
assaults, sex trafficking and somany other things.
Can you tell us about how Weavestarted?
Speaker 2 (02:05):
Of course you are right.
Weave has been in our communityfor quite some time.
We were originally founded in1978 by three local women who
wanted to provide safe spacesfor survivors of domestic
violence who were attempting toflee the abusive relationships
they were in.
And over time we have grown andexpanded.
(02:26):
In 1988, we became the solerape crisis center for the
county.
So we provide confidentialsexual assault services to
victims who need support with aforensic medical exam or law
enforcement reports or thosetypes of things exam or law
(02:46):
enforcement reports or thosetypes of things.
And, starting in 2009, weexpanded our services to include
victims of sex trafficking aswell.
So we serve any victim whoneeds our assistance in
Sacramento County, regardless oftheir age, their gender, their
race, ethnicity.
Everyone is welcome here.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
I just love that and I love what you guys are doing
and I really thank you for whatyou guys do because it is so
very important.
One of the things, allie, thatbrought my attention to this and
it's something that I haveknown people in my life who have
experienced domestic violence.
For those who may or may notknow, it's not always because of
(03:25):
my experience in life, it's notalways men that do it, but a
lot of times it is One of thethings, allie, that caught my
attention on this one andprompted my phone call to you.
It's something I've beenwanting to do for a long time
was, if anyone is watching thenews and I'm not a guy that's
going to get into gossip, it'snot my thing.
I'm not a guy that's going toget into gossip, it's not my
thing.
I'm not looking at the latestTMZ and all of that I'm not
(03:47):
really following along.
But you know, ali, when I hearthis story and, being a talk
show host and I follow thesestories and you know the case
going on one of the things I didwant to address that really
outraged me quite honestly is inthis trial with now P Diddy,
which we have some news on thatas of today.
As a matter of fact, hislawyers had called this
(04:11):
relationship that he was havingwith his girlfriend, cassie
Ventura they called it in courta modern love affair.
I could not, ali, be moredisgusted by his lawyers at the
thought of calling this a modernlove affair.
When you have a woman who isclearly seen on camera in a
(04:33):
hotel room we know about thatwho is being beaten by this man.
Now, whether or not we get intothe courtroom drama of what's
happening here, whether or notwe get into the courtroom drama
of what's happening here,whether or not she texted and
wanted to be a participant insome of these what do they call
freak offs or whatever thesethings were going on.
That is one thing, and this isjust my opinion.
(04:56):
That's one component of this,but another, completely separate
component is beating this womanand then somehow referring to
it as a modern day love affair.
I could not think of anythingmore outrageous than that, Ali.
What are your thoughts?
Speaker 2 (05:13):
I mean I would agree with you.
It is very disturbing to hearany relationship where we've
seen physical violence capturedon camera and unfortunately for
our victim here shared with thewhole world and placing her kind
of in a spotlight.
It's really concerning to see arelationship that had that
(05:35):
component in it presented as anysort of love story.
That is not a love story.
That is not what we would wantto teach our children.
It's not what we want toreinforce in our community as a
healthy relationship or as whatanything that it could remotely
be called love looks like.
So it is disturbing to hear arelationship that has that
(05:58):
component in it described aslove.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Yes, absolutely, Because you know, all I can
think of at this point, Allie,is how many women are in a
situation right now who arehaving to deal with domestic
violence, domestic abuse.
You know and again I havestories in the past that I know
people who have had to deal withthis and my heart goes out to
(06:24):
them.
It is so tragic, andparticularly when you hear
stories like you know, the ideaof them coming home from work,
the sound of the garage dooropening and the panic that
begins inside of you after you,maybe that day raised the kids,
interacted with the kids,interacted perhaps with school,
(06:45):
Maybe you were at work yourselftrying to do your part in this
relationship, trying to beloving, trying to do whatever it
is as a part of thisrelationship, and then the
spouse comes home and there'sthis terror that you feel I can
only imagine and my heart goesout to those people.
I'm sure you hear stories likethat all the time at Weave.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
We do.
And you know, and I think at thecore here it's important to
stop and think about, as youhave mentioned, that there are
all kinds of folks who might beexperiencing this that many of
us encounter on a regular basison our daily lives, and you may
have no idea, because the shapethat it takes in any particular
relationship might lookdifferent.
(07:30):
So, you know, most people dothink about abuse as a physical,
having a physical element, andwe saw that on full display with
P Diddy and Cassie and thatrecording.
But we know that that's onlyone element of the power and
control that gets exercised inthese relationships and, to your
(07:51):
point, you know, that's whatcreates such complexity for
victims who are trying to do theright thing in the
relationships that they're inand trying, you know, to meet
all the various needs of thepeople who depend on them that
they're in, and trying to meetall the various needs of the
people who depend on them,whether that's their children or
their job, or an elderly parentthat they care for or anybody
(08:11):
else.
And those are the complexdynamics where folks feel like
they can't escape theserelationships or they can't
change what's happening withthem, and that's just not the
case, we there are, there issupport for them out there and
they are not alone and and theydon't need to continue to suffer
by themselves.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Years ago there was, I guess you know, initially when
WEAVE came, came about theacronym for WEAVE Women Escaping
a Violent Environment.
We're talking to Ali Kephart,who's the chief operating
officer for Weave, and I greatlyappreciate your time and your
information today, allie.
But it was Women Escaping aViolent Environment, but there
(08:54):
was a shift there at some point,I guess, to better reflect the
inclusive services that you'retalking about at Weave.
Domestic violence, sexualsexual assault, sex trafficking
is a thing that is in the newsnow.
How that impacts, as you said,all the genders, identities and
all of the backgrounds, uh is.
Would that be a fair assessmentas to why they made that sort
(09:16):
of shift from women escaping aviolent environment?
Speaker 2 (09:20):
yes, I think that's absolutely accurate.
I mean, we do not serve onlywomen, we serve anyone who needs
our support in the Sacramentocommunity, and we also recognize
that not everyone is escapingsomething.
We have the whole spectrum ofexperiences for survivors to try
(09:42):
to keep themselves safe, orthey want to try to gain more
information and knowledge sothat they can intervene and
support a family member or afriend or some other loved one
who they think might beexperiencing things.
So we did shift several yearsago and we now, instead of being
an acronym, we use a beautifulvision statement, which is when
(10:05):
everyone acts, violence ends,and we believe that
wholeheartedly because it is thetruth.
There are hundreds of differentways to act to end violence in
our community, whether that'sintervening and supporting a
loved one, or making a donation,or shopping at our retail
(10:27):
stores, or volunteering in aprogram, or requesting a
presentation for your workplaceor your classroom.
There's a whole different hostof ways that folks can act and
intervene and try to end theviolence that we see happening
in our community.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Wow, and so what WeVE does and correct me.
There's several things that youdo, including, well, your
mission statement.
Looking at your missionstatement, providing
comprehensive services to adultand child survivors, as you just
said, of domestic violence,sexual assault, sex trafficking
One of the things that you werejust saying, ali, is that some
people you know they don't wantto necessarily break away or, as
(11:11):
you say we say, escape, okay,they just want the abuse to stop
.
And when you said that, it mademe think.
I don't know.
If there's a statistic, I wouldimagine it would be, but do you
have any sort of statistic orpercentage, let's say, on how
often we see that?
Or do you see that that youknow they just wanted the abuse
(11:32):
to stop and somehow the abusestopped?
Was it perhaps the partnerrealized they were doing
something wrong, realized theirmistakes?
Was it because we was involved?
Do you have any information onthat?
Speaker 2 (11:47):
That's a difficult thing to estimate, honestly,
because oftentimes if it'sstopped we don't hear from the
people anymore, because theydon't need us anymore.
But I will say you know whatthat looks like for us in terms
of services that we're providingfolks.
It might be folks that arecoming where they're in a
relationship that seems a littleoff, but they don't know.
(12:07):
They need some education, theyneed some information, they need
to be thinking about, you know,how are they engaging in this
relationship?
How are they setting theirhealthy boundaries and their
expectations?
And where is there for lack ofa better way to put it line in
the sand Where's the thing forthem that if the relationship
progresses or the behaviorprogresses beyond a certain
(12:29):
point, they have a plan to exit,to leave the relationship and
that's all you know.
That's all services we canprovide support with.
We do quite a bit with folksaround, safety planning and
really thinking about what areyour resources, what are your
support networks, what you know?
If A, b or C happens, what areyou going to do to keep yourself
(12:49):
and maybe even your childrensafe in the moment and
oftentimes that doesn't meanactively physically leaving a
relationship, or it may be arelationship that's in the past
and this person is continuing topursue them and continuing to
harass them, and this person iscontinuing to pursue them and
continuing to harass them.
(13:14):
Or it may be somebody where, ifthe survivor who's coming to get
support from us learns some newconcepts and new tools whether
that's through working with anadvocate and doing safety
planning or through our grouptherapeutic counseling they may
gain some more tools andknowledge where they can take
back some of the control in therelationship and the
relationship can become morebalanced and might be able to
(13:37):
turn that corner back into ahealthy relationship.
So sometimes we see that infolks where their relationship
maybe hasn't progressed all theway to being what we would
categorize as abusive, but it'sstarting to show signs.
We're starting to see red flagsthere.
We're starting to seeindicators that this is
unhealthy and not a balanced,healthy relationship.
(14:00):
So it's a whole spectrum ofservices and that's really the
most effective way to preventfuture violence and intervene if
somebody is alreadyexperiencing some level of harm.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Allie Gephardt, chief Operating Officer for WEAVE
Sacramento, is joining us as I'mlistening to you and I
understand that you can only doso much.
I understand that you can't goout and read people's minds and
all that.
I am thinking about the factthat when someone is calling and
I ask that question about ifthere was any numbers or
(14:35):
percentage about how much of theabuse may stop, because some
people say, as you pointed out,that they just kind of want the
abuse to stop, they don'tnecessarily want to break up the
relationship, and then that isa hard question.
I realize that and you know,and as you said that you know,
sometimes they don't call backand perhaps that means that the
relationship stopped.
I guess in my mind yes, itcould mean that, but in my mind
(14:58):
also it could think of right orwrong Maybe the abuser in the
relationship realizes the phonecall was made, threatens that
person, that person never callsback again and that domestic
violence is still going on,unbeknownst to you or any other
of these groups that can help.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
Is that fair?
Yeah, that's absolutely apossibility and it's why it's so
important that we have othermembers in the community besides
us who are close to these folksthat might be experiencing harm
, who can create that safepathway to get services, who can
recognize that someone isexperiencing harm or
experiencing abuse and providethat safe, supportive space.
(15:42):
Describe a victim reaches outfor support and the abuser
realizes that they've madecontact and now they don't have
access to their own phoneanymore.
The abuser monitors their calls, but maybe they have a neighbor
who has heard a presentationfrom us or who listens to this
podcast and thinks I see what'shappening here and I want to try
(16:04):
to help.
And the neighbor finds a time,finds a way to safely meet with
the victim and lets the victimuse their phone to call us.
And we make a plan with thevictim and we help them
determine the safest way forthem to access support and
services and determine what theywant to do next, and that
really is key for us.
(16:25):
What they want to do next, andthat really is key for us.
Everything that we do, we tryto center survivors and we try
to empower them to make thedecisions that are best for
their life, because they are theexperts in that.
If they want to know that we'rehere when they're ready, great.
If they're looking to make anactive plan to leave and they
need help with safe shelter,great.
(16:46):
If they need help filing for arestraining order, they can
reach out to us for that as well.
But it's all driven by them.
It's all driven by what theyneed in that moment and what
they think will keep themselvesand their family the safest.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
I love what you guys are doing.
Allie, as I listen to you, Ilove and thank you on their
behalf for what you are doingand I would say and again I'm no
expert, you are, I would say,if it were, my friend and again,
I've seen these situations andintimately aware of these
situations.
Don't feel threatened If youare, listen my advice and please
(17:25):
tell me if I'm wrong and givingbad advice.
Ali, please do what ali justsaid.
Obviously she gave great advice.
You know I can tell me she justgave bad advice.
She gave great advice.
Do what she said.
Don't feel threatened, do not beafraid.
Okay, you need to make thephone call if you're dealing
with this.
Don't be afraid of that hurdle.
Please think about it.
(17:46):
Talk to your friends, you know,in terms of presentations, I
want to get back to that, buthere's another thing that Weave
does.
Just in case you don't know,weave includes a 24-hour support
line.
Doesn't matter what time of dayit is.
Call the support line if youneed help, crisis intervention,
if you need counseling, allie,if they need legal advocacy,
(18:09):
emergency shelter, can we talkabout the 24-hour support line?
Speaker 2 (18:14):
Absolutely.
You're right that 24-hour lineis staffed 24 hours a day, seven
days a week with our trainedadvocates.
They are all domestic violenceand sexual assault care
counselors.
They are confidential advocates.
They're all domestic violenceand sexual assault care
counselors.
They are confidential advocates.
They are extremely well-versedin both providing emotional
(18:39):
support and also helpingsurvivors get connected to the
resources that meet their needs.
So they can.
If there's a specific somethingthat a survivor already knows
that they want or need, thatadvocate can help connect them
or need.
That advocate can help connectthem.
If someone is just calling andsaying I'm in trouble and I need
help and I don't know where tostart.
Those advocates are trained tohave that interactive and
trauma-informed conversation tohelp survivors understand what's
available to them and what theywant to focus on and how to
(19:02):
connect with those things.
Maybe that's our organization,maybe it's our organization plus
another one in the community,depending on what they need.
But at the end of the day, asyou said, you're not alone.
Folks are not alone and thereis support and there is help out
here for them, whether it's our24-7 support line or any other
(19:23):
agency that can help you or canget you to us.
Please, please, know thatyou're not alone, and know that
it's not your fault and thatthere is support and help for
you.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
What would that number be for the 24-hour
support line?
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Our 24-7 support line is 916-920-2952.
And we also offer aconfidential chat feature
staffed by the same folks thatanswer that 24-7 support line
and that can be accessed throughour website, which is
wwwweaveincorg.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
Let's go back to and we'll repeat that website for
you.
So don't worry, and I'll repeatthe phone number.
I'll let Allie repeat thewebsite and I'll repeat the
phone number coming up.
But one thing I did I wanteveryone to know if you are
listening to this right now andwe do this because we do, as you
(20:24):
said earlier if someone'slistening to this and they need
help.
That's why I'm doing this today.
That is why Allie Kephart isdoing this.
That's why Weave is doing this.
You emphasize confidentiality,in case anyone out there is very
concerned about that Controlover the information, sharing
for the client, trauma-informedcare and more correct for the
(20:50):
client, trauma-informed care andmore correct.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
That is correct.
We are again.
Everything we do centerssurvivors and we're very
fortunate here in Californiathat we have strong protections
for victims when they arereaching out for support.
Those protections are embeddedin our state law.
They're also embedded in somefederal legislation that governs
funding that we get.
So you can kind of think of uslike Fort Knox when folks reach
(21:12):
out and talk to our confidentialsupport line.
That is confidential.
We are not required to discloseany of that information to
anybody else unless the victimasks us to.
If the victim says, hey, Ireally need your help with this,
can you advocate with thisthird, can you advocate with
this third party on my behalf?
And I'm going to give you mypermission we will absolutely do
(21:32):
that.
If it's within our lane andwithin our scope and something
we have expertise to do, that'show we can support.
But if they say, look, I needto tell you something and I need
to know it's going to stay withus, the answer is yes, it will
stay with us.
It's their information.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
Talking with Allie Kephart, chief Operating Officer
for Weave, here on Pat's Peeps294.
Appreciate this conversation.
Let's identify what is domesticabuse.
It could be also termeddomestic violence.
It could be termed intimatepartner violence.
It can be defined, allie, as apattern of behavior in any
(22:10):
relationship that is used togain or maintain power, to gain
control over an intimate partner, and it could be physical, it
can be sexual, it can beemotional, as you pointed out,
economic, psychological actions,which are just so demeaning and
terrible, perhaps threats ofactions that influence the
(22:31):
partner in the relationship.
Any behavior that frighten,intimidate, terrorize,
manipulate, hurt.
Any behavior that frighten,intimidate, terrorize,
manipulate, hurt, humiliate,blame, injure, wound someone.
That is domestic abuse Correctand this can happen to anyone,
as you say race, age, sexualorientation, religion, gender,
it doesn't matter.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
You're absolutely correct, it can happen to anyone
, it can be perpetrated byanyone.
Unfortunately, domesticviolence does not know
socioeconomic boundaries, itdoes not know community
boundaries, it does not knowracial boundaries.
It happens across allcommunities, all income levels,
all education levels, and itlooks different in each
(23:09):
relationship.
You're right, we talk about thetypes of abuse in a few kind of
high-level buckets.
Physical is often what manypeople think about, but then
there is emotional or verbal orpsychological abuse.
We see spiritual abuse.
We see sexual abuse as acomponent of domestic violence.
Using sex to control in arelationship is relatively
(23:31):
common.
Financial abuse or economicabuse is extremely common.
I would say we see probably 90to 95 percent of the folks who
come in for services related todomestic violence report that
they've experienced some levelof economic abuse.
And then the emerging one thatwe are really seeing kind of
come to light is technologicalabuse Folks being harassed,
(23:56):
abused, controlled using thetechnological devices that are
in our everyday life, many ofwhich were designed to make our
lives better, but they getmisused or misappropriated by an
abuser and become those toolsof power and control.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
Oh my God, Reading phones, going through phones, no
privacy, I mean just awful.
And it can also occur, Ali,within a range of relationships,
including couples.
Maybe you're married, Maybeyou're just living together,
Perhaps you're just dating.
It can, in fact, affect peopleof all socioeconomic backgrounds
(24:34):
, all education levels.
So really, as you've beenpointing out, it can happen to
anyone.
And some of the signs let's goover some of the signs to just
to be aware of to you know, ifyou're thinking, geez, am I
being abused?
Am I just imagining this?
First of all, if you'reimagining it, then I would
imagine that there's somethingthat you need to.
You need to look into it.
(24:56):
If you even feel like you'rebeing abused in some way, look
into it.
Think about how you're beingtreated.
You know, sometimes if I thinkabout this, sometimes the
partner can make fun of you,embarrass you in front of your
friends, your family, maybe putyou down, you know.
Make fun of you know, maybe putdown your accomplishments, make
(25:17):
you feel like you're unable tomake decisions.
You're just not smart enough.
Intimidate, threats to gaincompliance.
There's so many things.
Treat you roughly, grab you,push, pinch any of these things.
Sometimes it's drug abuse,Sometimes it's alcohol that
plays into this.
So there's so many ways intothis.
(25:39):
So there's so many ways and, asyou said, sexually, pressuring
you sexually for things thatyou're not ready for, making you
feel like there's just no wayout of the relationship, and
this is what Weave is here for.
So, as we're talking, if any ofthese things ring true, please
do yourself a favor and reachout to those people who can help
you.
The 24-hour hotline for Weave,the support line, again 24-7 is
(26:02):
916-920-2952.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
916-920org.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
Yeah, you know, um, you, no one deserves to be
abused.
Okay, the abuse is.
Allie says it's not your faultand you're not alone.
Uh, you don't worry about thethreats, you know?
Call, find a way to call.
That is the where you start,allie.
As we're kind of wrappingthings up here, I would like to
(26:48):
ask you what is it that I havenot addressed in our
conversation here that you wantpeople to know?
What have I not brought up here?
That's very important thateveryone should know.
Speaker 2 (27:01):
I mean I think we've covered a lot of the high level.
I just would really want toreinforce for folks, as you
mentioned, that this is.
You know, this is not yourfault.
If you're not sure whether whatyou're experiencing is abuse or
it's not abuse, I wouldencourage you to reach out to
our 24-7 support line.
We know relationships exist ona spectrum.
We talk about this a great dealwith folks when we're out in
(27:25):
the community doing education,and abuse takes a different
shape in each relationship.
So just because you might nothave heard a word that resonates
with you on this particularpodcast or in this conversation
doesn't mean that what you'reexperiencing might not have
heard a word that resonates withyou on this particular podcast
or in this conversation doesn'tmean that what you're
experiencing might not be abuse.
So please trust your gut.
(27:45):
If it doesn't feel healthy, ifit doesn't feel safe, if you're
not in a relationship wheresomeone, where your partner, is
supportive and encouraging andyou feel like it's a balanced
relationship, please reach out.
We're happy to talk.
We're happy to answer questions.
There are no wrong questions.
There are no silly questions.
We want folks to have theinformation that they need to
(28:07):
make educated decisions and wealso want folks to know that
there is support and safety forthem here or any organization
that they trust.
If it's better to speak to yourfriend who you trust, if it's
better to talk to a teacher ofyours, if it's better to talk to
you know, anybody else in yourcommunity that you trust, please
(28:28):
just reach out and know thatyou're not alone.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
And let's take the other side of this.
If you are listening to thispodcast, if you are, or if you
think you may be an abusivepartner yourself, if you've
recognized anything withinyourself that you may think am I
(28:52):
an abuser?
Maybe someone accused you ofthat?
Maybe there's something withinyou that's making you ask that
question.
If you recognize that you'remistreating your partner, again,
there are resources in yourcommunity for you to assist you
to end the abuse.
For instance, the NationalDomestic Violence Hotline is a
(29:13):
number.
They have resources that canassist you.
You can look into this yourself,you can do your homework on
this and you can understand thatthe domestic abuse is not only
against the code of conduct inthe united nations.
You may be subject to criminalprosecution under the law, but
that's the right thing to do,because you know.
(29:34):
If you feel it, then you needto really ask yourself the
question am I doing this?
Okay, it's an okay thing to askyourself and to resolve within
yourself.
Let's talk about a couplethings.
You brought up Allie One moretime.
Allie Kephart is a chiefoperating officer for Weave in
Sacramento.
Let's talk about your retailstores.
Tell everyone what you're doingthere.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
Yeah, you bet.
So we have to really retaillocations.
Both of these are locationswhere we take donations from the
community.
Our community is extremelygenerous and wanting to share
their gently used items so thatthey can have another life.
Those items are processed andput out in our retail stores.
Anything that's in those storesare available for our clients
(30:20):
if they need things.
So sometimes, as you mightimagine, if folks do choose to
leave a relationship, they mayleave with very short notice and
with very few things, and sothey can get clothing for
themselves, clothing for theirchildren if they need it on an
emergency basis.
They can get small householdgoods if they're trying to
rebuild their life emergencybasis.
They can get small householdgoods if they're trying to
rebuild their life.
They can get work clothes ifthey're interviewing for a job
(30:42):
and again trying to rebuildtheir life.
And for the things that ourclients don't need in the moment
they're available for othermembers of the community to
purchase, and all of the revenuethat is generated by our stores
goes directly back intosupporting our programming.
We depend on that revenue tofill the gaps between our public
(31:07):
funding, our grant funding andour philanthropic giving,
because every single one of ourprograms is more expensive to
operate than we get funding for,so we have to fill in the gaps,
and those retail stores are acritical aspect of it.
So if you're looking forsomething to donate, please feel
free to donate.
Information about where and howand when is available on our
(31:30):
website, or you're welcome tocall our business office or our
support line.
And if you're looking forsomewhere to shop, please
patronize both of the locations.
We have one on Arden calledWeave Thrift and then we have
another called the Thrift Store,which is down on Fruit Ridge.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
I love it.
I will begin shopping thereagain.
So that's Arden, what was it?
Arden Weave, what was it?
Speaker 2 (31:55):
Arden Way.
It's Arden Way and it's calledWeave Thrift.
Speaker 1 (31:58):
Weave Thrift.
Okay, I'm going to write thatdown because I'm going to go
shopping there.
Allie, what was the other oneagain?
Speaker 2 (32:05):
And then the other one is called the Thrift Store,
which is on Fruit Ridge.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
Oh, sacramento, my old stomping ground on Fruit
Ridge.
Okay, very good.
Go back to a couple more thingshere.
If you want a presentation youpointed out a couple of times
about a presentation what ifsomeone wants a presentation?
Do they just go to the website?
Do they call?
Speaker 2 (32:28):
How do they do that?
Either one.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
There is no wrong door.
Speaker 2 (32:31):
Here On our website there is a presentation request
form, a link to a presentationrequest form, so you can let us
know who your audience is, whatyou're hoping for us to come
present on.
We have sort of a standard setof curriculum, but we're also
happy to tailor curriculum tothe group and to the time period
that you have available for us.
We can provide virtualpresentations.
(32:53):
We can provide in-personworkshops.
We're happy to be flexible andtry to accommodate as many
requests as we can providein-person workshops.
We're happy to be flexible andtry to accommodate as many
requests as we can, given ourcapacity and our staffing.
So please don't hesitate toreach out.
We will.
We will do our best to workwith you and get you what you
need are these free or do theycost?
they are for free.
(33:13):
We are very pleased to offer itto the community and to be able
to bring this information andimportant tools for folks,
whether it's education forsomebody about what they might
see in their own life orinformation about how folks can
recognize, respond and referappropriately if someone that
they know is experiencing harm.
(33:34):
And that's really the crux ofwhat we hope folks will do is we
use that recognize, respond,refer model quite a bit
Understand, recognize the signsthat someone might be
experiencing harm, respond in anempathetic, trauma-informed way
that doesn't judge them, thatmakes them feel seen and heard
and believed, and then helprefer them to folks like us or
(33:55):
another organization like us whocan give them the specific
resources that they need.
Speaker 1 (34:03):
And one final question for you is and I
imagine people can go to thewebsite, but I'd like you to
expand on that if you can.
What if people want tovolunteer?
So this is a really good cause.
I'll have a little bit of time.
I can donate either financiallyor maybe I can volunteer.
How do they do that?
Speaker 2 (34:21):
That's a great question.
Yes, there is, of course,information on our website, but
we also you're welcome to reachout to our info at wevincorg
email address or call oursupport line as well.
Let us know we have a wonderfulvolunteer coordinator community
engagement coordinator whohelps make sure that folks get
connected with volunteeropportunities that align with
(34:43):
their interests and theircommitments, and we have a whole
host of opportunities.
It could be things like hey, Iwant to help out in the store on
a weekend.
Or it could be hey, I want togo through your peer counselor
training because I want to beable to volunteer to respond to
sexual assault victims andprovide accompaniment during
their exams.
We're happy to explore anyoption that somebody is
(35:03):
interested in.
Speaker 1 (35:05):
Very, very, very good .
I just really really appreciatethat.
And listen.
If you are a Pats Peepslistener, do yourself a favor,
do Weave a favor.
Go check out their locations,okay, the Arden Weave store on
Arden or the thrift store onFruit Ridge go check it out.
(35:30):
I'm calling on all of you whoare Pat's peeps to do that, to
support in any way you can.
And I want to say this please,please, if you're listening and
any of this resonates with youand you need to get out of a
situation or you need to remedya situation and you need help,
(35:51):
please, please, think aboutWeave, call them and see what
people can do, what thisorganization can do for you.
Allie Gephardt, I greatlyappreciate your time today and
thank you for everything thatyou're doing.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
Well, thank you so much.
It's been a pleasure to be withyou today.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
Allie Gephardt, Chief Operating Officer for Weave.
Thank you for listening toPat's Peeps 294.
happy Wednesday to you, my friends, to all the pets
peeps podcast listeners.
I'm so very grateful.
Today is the second day of Julyand, as I look out my studio
windows into the beautifulfoothills of Northern California
, it is a little breezy, butit's going to be another hot day
.
Wherever you are, wherever youare listening, I thank you very,
(00:38):
very much for that.
By the way, my name is Pat Walshand, for those of you who know
or maybe don't know, I'm thehost of the Pat Walsh Show, as
heard on KFPK Radio 93.1 FM,1530 AM and, of course,
streaming live, just like thispodcast, and on your iHeart
platform and on all of yourstreaming platforms.
(00:59):
Today's podcast is going to bea little more serious and a very
difficult topic, and to join mefor this very difficult topic
today and that we're going to betalking about essentially is
domestic violence and some otherissues with domestic violence,
(01:20):
and joining me to talk aboutthat and I'm very, very grateful
for this is Allie Kephart, whois the chief operating officer
for Weave Weave, by the way,doing great things in our
community for a very long timeand, allie, I really appreciate
you joining me on my podcasthere today.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Well, thank you so much for having me.
I'm happy to be here.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
My pleasure.
Weave, by the way, is aSacramento.
Correct me if I'm wrong.
This is a Sacramento-basednonprofit organization and what
you guys do, like I say, is sogreat.
You support survivors ofdomestic violence, sexual
assaults, sex trafficking and somany other things.
Can you tell us about how Weavestarted?
Speaker 2 (02:05):
Of course you are right.
Weave has been in our communityfor quite some time.
We were originally founded in1978 by three local women who
wanted to provide safe spacesfor survivors of domestic
violence who were attempting toflee the abusive relationships
they were in.
And over time we have grown andexpanded.
(02:26):
In 1988, we became the solerape crisis center for the
county.
So we provide confidentialsexual assault services to
victims who need support with aforensic medical exam or law
enforcement reports or thosetypes of things exam or law
(02:46):
enforcement reports or thosetypes of things.
And, starting in 2009, weexpanded our services to include
victims of sex trafficking aswell.
So we serve any victim whoneeds our assistance in
Sacramento County, regardless oftheir age, their gender, their
race, ethnicity.
Everyone is welcome here.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
I just love that and I love what you guys are doing
and I really thank you for whatyou guys do because it is so
very important.
One of the things, allie, thatbrought my attention to this and
it's something that I haveknown people in my life who have
experienced domestic violence.
For those who may or may notknow, it's not always because of
(03:25):
my experience in life, it's notalways men that do it, but a
lot of times it is One of thethings, allie, that caught my
attention on this one andprompted my phone call to you.
It's something I've beenwanting to do for a long time
was, if anyone is watching thenews and I'm not a guy that's
going to get into gossip, it'snot my thing.
I'm not a guy that's going toget into gossip, it's not my
thing.
I'm not looking at the latestTMZ and all of that I'm not
(03:47):
really following along.
But you know, ali, when I hearthis story and, being a talk
show host and I follow thesestories and you know the case
going on one of the things I didwant to address that really
outraged me quite honestly is inthis trial with now P Diddy,
which we have some news on thatas of today.
As a matter of fact, hislawyers had called this
(04:11):
relationship that he was havingwith his girlfriend, cassie
Ventura they called it in courta modern love affair.
I could not, ali, be moredisgusted by his lawyers at the
thought of calling this a modernlove affair.
When you have a woman who isclearly seen on camera in a
(04:33):
hotel room we know about thatwho is being beaten by this man.
Now, whether or not we get intothe courtroom drama of what's
happening here, whether or notwe get into the courtroom drama
of what's happening here,whether or not she texted and
wanted to be a participant insome of these what do they call
freak offs or whatever thesethings were going on.
That is one thing, and this isjust my opinion.
(04:56):
That's one component of this,but another, completely separate
component is beating this womanand then somehow referring to
it as a modern day love affair.
I could not think of anythingmore outrageous than that, Ali.
What are your thoughts?
Speaker 2 (05:13):
I mean I would agree with you.
It is very disturbing to hearany relationship where we've
seen physical violence capturedon camera and unfortunately for
our victim here shared with thewhole world and placing her kind
of in a spotlight.
It's really concerning to see arelationship that had that
(05:35):
component in it presented as anysort of love story.
That is not a love story.
That is not what we would wantto teach our children.
It's not what we want toreinforce in our community as a
healthy relationship or as whatanything that it could remotely
be called love looks like.
So it is disturbing to hear arelationship that has that
(05:58):
component in it described aslove.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Yes, absolutely, Because you know, all I can
think of at this point, Allie,is how many women are in a
situation right now who arehaving to deal with domestic
violence, domestic abuse.
You know and again I havestories in the past that I know
people who have had to deal withthis and my heart goes out to
(06:24):
them.
It is so tragic, andparticularly when you hear
stories like you know, the ideaof them coming home from work,
the sound of the garage dooropening and the panic that
begins inside of you after you,maybe that day raised the kids,
interacted with the kids,interacted perhaps with school,
(06:45):
Maybe you were at work yourselftrying to do your part in this
relationship, trying to beloving, trying to do whatever it
is as a part of thisrelationship, and then the
spouse comes home and there'sthis terror that you feel I can
only imagine and my heart goesout to those people.
I'm sure you hear stories likethat all the time at Weave.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
We do.
And you know, and I think at thecore here it's important to
stop and think about, as youhave mentioned, that there are
all kinds of folks who might beexperiencing this that many of
us encounter on a regular basison our daily lives, and you may
have no idea, because the shapethat it takes in any particular
relationship might lookdifferent.
(07:30):
So, you know, most people dothink about abuse as a physical,
having a physical element, andwe saw that on full display with
P Diddy and Cassie and thatrecording.
But we know that that's onlyone element of the power and
control that gets exercised inthese relationships and, to your
(07:51):
point, you know, that's whatcreates such complexity for
victims who are trying to do theright thing in the
relationships that they're inand trying, you know, to meet
all the various needs of thepeople who depend on them that
they're in, and trying to meetall the various needs of the
people who depend on them,whether that's their children or
their job, or an elderly parentthat they care for or anybody
(08:11):
else.
And those are the complexdynamics where folks feel like
they can't escape theserelationships or they can't
change what's happening withthem, and that's just not the
case, we there are, there issupport for them out there and
they are not alone and and theydon't need to continue to suffer
by themselves.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Years ago there was, I guess you know, initially when
WEAVE came, came about theacronym for WEAVE Women Escaping
a Violent Environment.
We're talking to Ali Kephart,who's the chief operating
officer for Weave, and I greatlyappreciate your time and your
information today, allie.
But it was Women Escaping aViolent Environment, but there
(08:54):
was a shift there at some point,I guess, to better reflect the
inclusive services that you'retalking about at Weave.
Domestic violence, sexualsexual assault, sex trafficking
is a thing that is in the newsnow.
How that impacts, as you said,all the genders, identities and
all of the backgrounds, uh is.
Would that be a fair assessmentas to why they made that sort
(09:16):
of shift from women escaping aviolent environment?
Speaker 2 (09:20):
yes, I think that's absolutely accurate.
I mean, we do not serve onlywomen, we serve anyone who needs
our support in the Sacramentocommunity, and we also recognize
that not everyone is escapingsomething.
We have the whole spectrum ofexperiences for survivors to try
(09:42):
to keep themselves safe, orthey want to try to gain more
information and knowledge sothat they can intervene and
support a family member or afriend or some other loved one
who they think might beexperiencing things.
So we did shift several yearsago and we now, instead of being
an acronym, we use a beautifulvision statement, which is when
(10:05):
everyone acts, violence ends,and we believe that
wholeheartedly because it is thetruth.
There are hundreds of differentways to act to end violence in
our community, whether that'sintervening and supporting a
loved one, or making a donation,or shopping at our retail
(10:27):
stores, or volunteering in aprogram, or requesting a
presentation for your workplaceor your classroom.
There's a whole different hostof ways that folks can act and
intervene and try to end theviolence that we see happening
in our community.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Wow, and so what WeVE does and correct me.
There's several things that youdo, including, well, your
mission statement.
Looking at your missionstatement, providing
comprehensive services to adultand child survivors, as you just
said, of domestic violence,sexual assault, sex trafficking
One of the things that you werejust saying, ali, is that some
people you know they don't wantto necessarily break away or, as
(11:11):
you say we say, escape, okay,they just want the abuse to stop
.
And when you said that, it mademe think.
I don't know.
If there's a statistic, I wouldimagine it would be, but do you
have any sort of statistic orpercentage, let's say, on how
often we see that?
Or do you see that that youknow they just wanted the abuse
(11:32):
to stop and somehow the abusestopped?
Was it perhaps the partnerrealized they were doing
something wrong, realized theirmistakes?
Was it because we was involved?
Do you have any information onthat?
Speaker 2 (11:47):
That's a difficult thing to estimate, honestly,
because oftentimes if it'sstopped we don't hear from the
people anymore, because theydon't need us anymore.
But I will say you know whatthat looks like for us in terms
of services that we're providingfolks.
It might be folks that arecoming where they're in a
relationship that seems a littleoff, but they don't know.
(12:07):
They need some education, theyneed some information, they need
to be thinking about, you know,how are they engaging in this
relationship?
How are they setting theirhealthy boundaries and their
expectations?
And where is there for lack ofa better way to put it line in
the sand Where's the thing forthem that if the relationship
progresses or the behaviorprogresses beyond a certain
(12:29):
point, they have a plan to exit,to leave the relationship and
that's all you know.
That's all services we canprovide support with.
We do quite a bit with folksaround, safety planning and
really thinking about what areyour resources, what are your
support networks, what you know?
If A, b or C happens, what areyou going to do to keep yourself
(12:49):
and maybe even your childrensafe in the moment and
oftentimes that doesn't meanactively physically leaving a
relationship, or it may be arelationship that's in the past
and this person is continuing topursue them and continuing to
harass them, and this person iscontinuing to pursue them and
continuing to harass them.
(13:14):
Or it may be somebody where, ifthe survivor who's coming to get
support from us learns some newconcepts and new tools whether
that's through working with anadvocate and doing safety
planning or through our grouptherapeutic counseling they may
gain some more tools andknowledge where they can take
back some of the control in therelationship and the
relationship can become morebalanced and might be able to
(13:37):
turn that corner back into ahealthy relationship.
So sometimes we see that infolks where their relationship
maybe hasn't progressed all theway to being what we would
categorize as abusive, but it'sstarting to show signs.
We're starting to see red flagsthere.
We're starting to seeindicators that this is
unhealthy and not a balanced,healthy relationship.
(14:00):
So it's a whole spectrum ofservices and that's really the
most effective way to preventfuture violence and intervene if
somebody is alreadyexperiencing some level of harm.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Allie Gephardt, chief Operating Officer for WEAVE
Sacramento, is joining us as I'mlistening to you and I
understand that you can only doso much.
I understand that you can't goout and read people's minds and
all that.
I am thinking about the factthat when someone is calling and
I ask that question about ifthere was any numbers or
(14:35):
percentage about how much of theabuse may stop, because some
people say, as you pointed out,that they just kind of want the
abuse to stop, they don'tnecessarily want to break up the
relationship, and then that isa hard question.
I realize that and you know,and as you said that you know,
sometimes they don't call backand perhaps that means that the
relationship stopped.
I guess in my mind yes, itcould mean that, but in my mind
(14:58):
also it could think of right orwrong Maybe the abuser in the
relationship realizes the phonecall was made, threatens that
person, that person never callsback again and that domestic
violence is still going on,unbeknownst to you or any other
of these groups that can help.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
Is that fair?
Yeah, that's absolutely apossibility and it's why it's so
important that we have othermembers in the community besides
us who are close to these folksthat might be experiencing harm
, who can create that safepathway to get services, who can
recognize that someone isexperiencing harm or
experiencing abuse and providethat safe, supportive space.
(15:42):
Describe a victim reaches outfor support and the abuser
realizes that they've madecontact and now they don't have
access to their own phoneanymore.
The abuser monitors their calls, but maybe they have a neighbor
who has heard a presentationfrom us or who listens to this
podcast and thinks I see what'shappening here and I want to try
(16:04):
to help.
And the neighbor finds a time,finds a way to safely meet with
the victim and lets the victimuse their phone to call us.
And we make a plan with thevictim and we help them
determine the safest way forthem to access support and
services and determine what theywant to do next, and that
really is key for us.
(16:25):
What they want to do next, andthat really is key for us.
Everything that we do, we tryto center survivors and we try
to empower them to make thedecisions that are best for
their life, because they are theexperts in that.
If they want to know that we'rehere when they're ready, great.
If they're looking to make anactive plan to leave and they
need help with safe shelter,great.
(16:46):
If they need help filing for arestraining order, they can
reach out to us for that as well.
But it's all driven by them.
It's all driven by what theyneed in that moment and what
they think will keep themselvesand their family the safest.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
I love what you guys are doing.
Allie, as I listen to you, Ilove and thank you on their
behalf for what you are doingand I would say and again I'm no
expert, you are, I would say,if it were, my friend and again,
I've seen these situations andintimately aware of these
situations.
Don't feel threatened If youare, listen my advice and please
(17:25):
tell me if I'm wrong and givingbad advice.
Ali, please do what ali justsaid.
Obviously she gave great advice.
You know I can tell me she justgave bad advice.
She gave great advice.
Do what she said.
Don't feel threatened, do not beafraid.
Okay, you need to make thephone call if you're dealing
with this.
Don't be afraid of that hurdle.
Please think about it.
(17:46):
Talk to your friends, you know,in terms of presentations, I
want to get back to that, buthere's another thing that Weave
does.
Just in case you don't know,weave includes a 24-hour support
line.
Doesn't matter what time of dayit is.
Call the support line if youneed help, crisis intervention,
if you need counseling, allie,if they need legal advocacy,
(18:09):
emergency shelter, can we talkabout the 24-hour support line?
Speaker 2 (18:14):
Absolutely.
You're right that 24-hour lineis staffed 24 hours a day, seven
days a week with our trainedadvocates.
They are all domestic violenceand sexual assault care
counselors.
They are confidential advocates.
They're all domestic violenceand sexual assault care
counselors.
They are confidential advocates.
They are extremely well-versedin both providing emotional
(18:39):
support and also helpingsurvivors get connected to the
resources that meet their needs.
So they can.
If there's a specific somethingthat a survivor already knows
that they want or need, thatadvocate can help connect them
or need.
That advocate can help connectthem.
If someone is just calling andsaying I'm in trouble and I need
help and I don't know where tostart.
Those advocates are trained tohave that interactive and
trauma-informed conversation tohelp survivors understand what's
available to them and what theywant to focus on and how to
(19:02):
connect with those things.
Maybe that's our organization,maybe it's our organization plus
another one in the community,depending on what they need.
But at the end of the day, asyou said, you're not alone.
Folks are not alone and thereis support and there is help out
here for them, whether it's our24-7 support line or any other
(19:23):
agency that can help you or canget you to us.
Please, please, know thatyou're not alone, and know that
it's not your fault and thatthere is support and help for
you.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
What would that number be for the 24-hour
support line?
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Our 24-7 support line is 916-920-2952.
And we also offer aconfidential chat feature
staffed by the same folks thatanswer that 24-7 support line
and that can be accessed throughour website, which is
wwwweaveincorg.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
Let's go back to and we'll repeat that website for
you.
So don't worry, and I'll repeatthe phone number.
I'll let Allie repeat thewebsite and I'll repeat the
phone number coming up.
But one thing I did I wanteveryone to know if you are
listening to this right now andwe do this because we do, as you
(20:24):
said earlier if someone'slistening to this and they need
help.
That's why I'm doing this today.
That is why Allie Kephart isdoing this.
That's why Weave is doing this.
You emphasize confidentiality,in case anyone out there is very
concerned about that Controlover the information, sharing
for the client, trauma-informedcare and more correct for the
(20:50):
client, trauma-informed care andmore correct.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
That is correct.
We are again.
Everything we do centerssurvivors and we're very
fortunate here in Californiathat we have strong protections
for victims when they arereaching out for support.
Those protections are embeddedin our state law.
They're also embedded in somefederal legislation that governs
funding that we get.
So you can kind of think of uslike Fort Knox when folks reach
(21:12):
out and talk to our confidentialsupport line.
That is confidential.
We are not required to discloseany of that information to
anybody else unless the victimasks us to.
If the victim says, hey, Ireally need your help with this,
can you advocate with thisthird, can you advocate with
this third party on my behalf?
And I'm going to give you mypermission we will absolutely do
(21:32):
that.
If it's within our lane andwithin our scope and something
we have expertise to do, that'show we can support.
But if they say, look, I needto tell you something and I need
to know it's going to stay withus, the answer is yes, it will
stay with us.
It's their information.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
Talking with Allie Kephart, chief Operating Officer
for Weave, here on Pat's Peeps294.
Appreciate this conversation.
Let's identify what is domesticabuse.
It could be also termeddomestic violence.
It could be termed intimatepartner violence.
It can be defined, allie, as apattern of behavior in any
(22:10):
relationship that is used togain or maintain power, to gain
control over an intimate partner, and it could be physical, it
can be sexual, it can beemotional, as you pointed out,
economic, psychological actions,which are just so demeaning and
terrible, perhaps threats ofactions that influence the
(22:31):
partner in the relationship.
Any behavior that frighten,intimidate, terrorize,
manipulate, hurt.
Any behavior that frighten,intimidate, terrorize,
manipulate, hurt, humiliate,blame, injure, wound someone.
That is domestic abuse Correctand this can happen to anyone,
as you say race, age, sexualorientation, religion, gender,
it doesn't matter.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
You're absolutely correct, it can happen to anyone
, it can be perpetrated byanyone.
Unfortunately, domesticviolence does not know
socioeconomic boundaries, itdoes not know community
boundaries, it does not knowracial boundaries.
It happens across allcommunities, all income levels,
all education levels, and itlooks different in each
(23:09):
relationship.
You're right, we talk about thetypes of abuse in a few kind of
high-level buckets.
Physical is often what manypeople think about, but then
there is emotional or verbal orpsychological abuse.
We see spiritual abuse.
We see sexual abuse as acomponent of domestic violence.
Using sex to control in arelationship is relatively
(23:31):
common.
Financial abuse or economicabuse is extremely common.
I would say we see probably 90to 95 percent of the folks who
come in for services related todomestic violence report that
they've experienced some levelof economic abuse.
And then the emerging one thatwe are really seeing kind of
come to light is technologicalabuse Folks being harassed,
(23:56):
abused, controlled using thetechnological devices that are
in our everyday life, many ofwhich were designed to make our
lives better, but they getmisused or misappropriated by an
abuser and become those toolsof power and control.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
Oh my God, Reading phones, going through phones, no
privacy, I mean just awful.
And it can also occur, Ali,within a range of relationships,
including couples.
Maybe you're married, Maybeyou're just living together,
Perhaps you're just dating.
It can, in fact, affect peopleof all socioeconomic backgrounds
(24:34):
, all education levels.
So really, as you've beenpointing out, it can happen to
anyone.
And some of the signs let's goover some of the signs to just
to be aware of to you know, ifyou're thinking, geez, am I
being abused?
Am I just imagining this?
First of all, if you'reimagining it, then I would
imagine that there's somethingthat you need to.
You need to look into it.
(24:56):
If you even feel like you'rebeing abused in some way, look
into it.
Think about how you're beingtreated.
You know, sometimes if I thinkabout this, sometimes the
partner can make fun of you,embarrass you in front of your
friends, your family, maybe putyou down, you know.
Make fun of you know, maybe putdown your accomplishments, make
(25:17):
you feel like you're unable tomake decisions.
You're just not smart enough.
Intimidate, threats to gaincompliance.
There's so many things.
Treat you roughly, grab you,push, pinch any of these things.
Sometimes it's drug abuse,Sometimes it's alcohol that
plays into this.
So there's so many ways intothis.
(25:39):
So there's so many ways and, asyou said, sexually, pressuring
you sexually for things thatyou're not ready for, making you
feel like there's just no wayout of the relationship, and
this is what Weave is here for.
So, as we're talking, if any ofthese things ring true, please
do yourself a favor and reachout to those people who can help
you.
The 24-hour hotline for Weave,the support line, again 24-7 is
(26:02):
916-920-2952.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
916-920org.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
Yeah, you know, um, you, no one deserves to be
abused.
Okay, the abuse is.
Allie says it's not your faultand you're not alone.
Uh, you don't worry about thethreats, you know?
Call, find a way to call.
That is the where you start,allie.
As we're kind of wrappingthings up here, I would like to
(26:48):
ask you what is it that I havenot addressed in our
conversation here that you wantpeople to know?
What have I not brought up here?
That's very important thateveryone should know.
Speaker 2 (27:01):
I mean I think we've covered a lot of the high level.
I just would really want toreinforce for folks, as you
mentioned, that this is.
You know, this is not yourfault.
If you're not sure whether whatyou're experiencing is abuse or
it's not abuse, I wouldencourage you to reach out to
our 24-7 support line.
We know relationships exist ona spectrum.
We talk about this a great dealwith folks when we're out in
(27:25):
the community doing education,and abuse takes a different
shape in each relationship.
So just because you might nothave heard a word that resonates
with you on this particularpodcast or in this conversation
doesn't mean that what you'reexperiencing might not have
heard a word that resonates withyou on this particular podcast
or in this conversation doesn'tmean that what you're
experiencing might not be abuse.
So please trust your gut.
(27:45):
If it doesn't feel healthy, ifit doesn't feel safe, if you're
not in a relationship wheresomeone, where your partner, is
supportive and encouraging andyou feel like it's a balanced
relationship, please reach out.
We're happy to talk.
We're happy to answer questions.
There are no wrong questions.
There are no silly questions.
We want folks to have theinformation that they need to
(28:07):
make educated decisions and wealso want folks to know that
there is support and safety forthem here or any organization
that they trust.
If it's better to speak to yourfriend who you trust, if it's
better to talk to a teacher ofyours, if it's better to talk to
you know, anybody else in yourcommunity that you trust, please
(28:28):
just reach out and know thatyou're not alone.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
And let's take the other side of this.
If you are listening to thispodcast, if you are, or if you
think you may be an abusivepartner yourself, if you've
recognized anything withinyourself that you may think am I
(28:52):
an abuser?
Maybe someone accused you ofthat?
Maybe there's something withinyou that's making you ask that
question.
If you recognize that you'remistreating your partner, again,
there are resources in yourcommunity for you to assist you
to end the abuse.
For instance, the NationalDomestic Violence Hotline is a
(29:13):
number.
They have resources that canassist you.
You can look into this yourself,you can do your homework on
this and you can understand thatthe domestic abuse is not only
against the code of conduct inthe united nations.
You may be subject to criminalprosecution under the law, but
that's the right thing to do,because you know.
(29:34):
If you feel it, then you needto really ask yourself the
question am I doing this?
Okay, it's an okay thing to askyourself and to resolve within
yourself.
Let's talk about a couplethings.
You brought up Allie One moretime.
Allie Kephart is a chiefoperating officer for Weave in
Sacramento.
Let's talk about your retailstores.
Tell everyone what you're doingthere.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
Yeah, you bet.
So we have to really retaillocations.
Both of these are locationswhere we take donations from the
community.
Our community is extremelygenerous and wanting to share
their gently used items so thatthey can have another life.
Those items are processed andput out in our retail stores.
Anything that's in those storesare available for our clients
(30:20):
if they need things.
So sometimes, as you mightimagine, if folks do choose to
leave a relationship, they mayleave with very short notice and
with very few things, and sothey can get clothing for
themselves, clothing for theirchildren if they need it on an
emergency basis.
They can get small householdgoods if they're trying to
rebuild their life emergencybasis.
They can get small householdgoods if they're trying to
rebuild their life.
They can get work clothes ifthey're interviewing for a job
(30:42):
and again trying to rebuildtheir life.
And for the things that ourclients don't need in the moment
they're available for othermembers of the community to
purchase, and all of the revenuethat is generated by our stores
goes directly back intosupporting our programming.
We depend on that revenue tofill the gaps between our public
(31:07):
funding, our grant funding andour philanthropic giving,
because every single one of ourprograms is more expensive to
operate than we get funding for,so we have to fill in the gaps,
and those retail stores are acritical aspect of it.
So if you're looking forsomething to donate, please feel
free to donate.
Information about where and howand when is available on our
(31:30):
website, or you're welcome tocall our business office or our
support line.
And if you're looking forsomewhere to shop, please
patronize both of the locations.
We have one on Arden calledWeave Thrift and then we have
another called the Thrift Store,which is down on Fruit Ridge.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
I love it.
I will begin shopping thereagain.
So that's Arden, what was it?
Arden Weave, what was it?
Speaker 2 (31:55):
Arden Way.
It's Arden Way and it's calledWeave Thrift.
Speaker 1 (31:58):
Weave Thrift.
Okay, I'm going to write thatdown because I'm going to go
shopping there.
Allie, what was the other oneagain?
Speaker 2 (32:05):
And then the other one is called the Thrift Store,
which is on Fruit Ridge.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
Oh, sacramento, my old stomping ground on Fruit
Ridge.
Okay, very good.
Go back to a couple more thingshere.
If you want a presentation youpointed out a couple of times
about a presentation what ifsomeone wants a presentation?
Do they just go to the website?
Do they call?
Speaker 2 (32:28):
How do they do that?
Either one.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
There is no wrong door.
Speaker 2 (32:31):
Here On our website there is a presentation request
form, a link to a presentationrequest form, so you can let us
know who your audience is, whatyou're hoping for us to come
present on.
We have sort of a standard setof curriculum, but we're also
happy to tailor curriculum tothe group and to the time period
that you have available for us.
We can provide virtualpresentations.
(32:53):
We can provide in-personworkshops.
We're happy to be flexible andtry to accommodate as many
requests as we can providein-person workshops.
We're happy to be flexible andtry to accommodate as many
requests as we can, given ourcapacity and our staffing.
So please don't hesitate toreach out.
We will.
We will do our best to workwith you and get you what you
need are these free or do theycost?
they are for free.
(33:13):
We are very pleased to offer itto the community and to be able
to bring this information andimportant tools for folks,
whether it's education forsomebody about what they might
see in their own life orinformation about how folks can
recognize, respond and referappropriately if someone that
they know is experiencing harm.
(33:34):
And that's really the crux ofwhat we hope folks will do is we
use that recognize, respond,refer model quite a bit
Understand, recognize the signsthat someone might be
experiencing harm, respond in anempathetic, trauma-informed way
that doesn't judge them, thatmakes them feel seen and heard
and believed, and then helprefer them to folks like us or
(33:55):
another organization like us whocan give them the specific
resources that they need.
Speaker 1 (34:03):
And one final question for you is and I
imagine people can go to thewebsite, but I'd like you to
expand on that if you can.
What if people want tovolunteer?
So this is a really good cause.
I'll have a little bit of time.
I can donate either financiallyor maybe I can volunteer.
How do they do that?
Speaker 2 (34:21):
That's a great question.
Yes, there is, of course,information on our website, but
we also you're welcome to reachout to our info at wevincorg
email address or call oursupport line as well.
Let us know we have a wonderfulvolunteer coordinator community
engagement coordinator whohelps make sure that folks get
connected with volunteeropportunities that align with
(34:43):
their interests and theircommitments, and we have a whole
host of opportunities.
It could be things like hey, Iwant to help out in the store on
a weekend.
Or it could be hey, I want togo through your peer counselor
training because I want to beable to volunteer to respond to
sexual assault victims andprovide accompaniment during
their exams.
We're happy to explore anyoption that somebody is
(35:03):
interested in.
Speaker 1 (35:05):
Very, very, very good .
I just really really appreciatethat.
And listen.
If you are a Pats Peepslistener, do yourself a favor,
do Weave a favor.
Go check out their locations,okay, the Arden Weave store on
Arden or the thrift store onFruit Ridge go check it out.
(35:30):
I'm calling on all of you whoare Pat's peeps to do that, to
support in any way you can.
And I want to say this please,please, if you're listening and
any of this resonates with youand you need to get out of a
situation or you need to remedya situation and you need help,
(35:51):
please, please, think aboutWeave, call them and see what
people can do, what thisorganization can do for you.
Allie Gephardt, I greatlyappreciate your time today and
thank you for everything thatyou're doing.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
Well, thank you so much.
It's been a pleasure to be withyou today.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
Allie Gephardt, Chief Operating Officer for Weave.
Thank you for listening toPat's Peeps 294.
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