Ep. 337 Today's Peep Prescribes Laughter as Medicine: Comedy Stories and Jokes : )

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:13):
Welcome once again, my friends, to the show that
never ends.
Thank you, elp.
It's the Pat's Peeps podcastwelcoming you on this Wednesday.
So nice to be with you.
24th day of September 2025, andtoday I look out the studio
window.
See no walk.
Today, at least for the podcast.

(00:33):
I'm going to go on my walkafter this.
Hopefully it inspired some ofyou to go and get a little
workout in.
But I thought I'm going to,because we're always trying to
do something different on Pat'sPeeps podcast.
Today we're going to do thatToday.
Well, you don't have to listenmuch to me today, because I'm
going to let the show do thetalking.

(00:55):
We'll release some dopaminestoday, I hope.
No doom scrolling like wetalked about yesterday.
Instead, today we dedicate thisPat's Peeps 337, to stories and
jokes Stories and jokes thatare funny.
By the way, I am the host of thePat Wall Show, heard on KFPK

(01:17):
Radio 7 to 10 pm, monday throughFriday, on a flamethrower.
Kfpk Radio 50,000 watts,biggest radio station and most
popular radio station inSacramento.
7 to 10 pm, 93.1 FM, 1530 am.
Please support your localbusiness.
Hey, if you go to patspeepscomright now, I'm going to keep

(01:39):
reminding you.
Free food for you, two-for-oneentrees until the end of this
month, until September 30th, atRock and Soul Diner, 10th Street
in Sacramento, and we may.
I'm hoping to have a hugeannouncement tomorrow.
I can't promise it, but I'mkeeping my fingers crossed.

Speaker 3 (01:56):
So, without further ado, my friends, it's story time
, it's fun time, joke time righthere on pat's peeps 337 so
things are much better now ohgod, yeah, I was in a uh, a
marvelous room with anotherfellow who, uh, who said to the

(02:21):
there was a very cold lookingnurse, very stern, and he said
to her.
She said, well, what are yougoing to have for breakfast?
And he said could I have?
He said some orange juice.
But you know the little cupsthey use for the urine specimen.
He says could you empty one ofthose out and put the orange

(02:45):
juice in that cup?
He says, because when I like tosmell a little urine.
He says when, when, and she islooking at me when I drink the
orange.
He says and could you let mehave two eggs?
I like them runny, like don'tmaybe put them on the grill,

(03:10):
maybe for four, maybe threeseconds the most, and don't use
butter, use Crisco.
Or if you have some Pennzoil,and this nurse is staring at him

(03:32):
, he says give me some bacon,some bacon.
I want it rare, raw if possible.
I want raw bacon and I wantcoffee left over from last week.
She says what are you talkingabout?
I can't serve you a breakfastlike that.
He says well, you did yesterday.

Speaker 4 (03:58):
Would you believe?

Speaker 3 (04:01):
I was sitting there.
I couldn't believe that the guywas talking you get the
funniest roommates.

Speaker 2 (04:07):
I'll tell you.
You're lucky all the time.
Listen, can I tell a storyabout what this man did to me?
Once you may have known orheard about this, it was a true
story.
This was a long time ago, longbefore Don got married.
I was eating dinner in arestaurant in New York and I was
sitting with some friends andhe over to the table and he said
Frank, do me a favor with you.

(04:27):
He said I'm sitting with a verypretty girl and I'm trying to
make out, you know.
And he said I told her I knowyou and she really doesn't
believe me.
Would you stop by the table?
I said, all right, I was justabout finished, I was down to
the espresso.
And finally he went back and Iwalked the table and I said how
are you, don, nice to see you?
He said can't you see I'meating, frank, what are you
doing?
And I went through the wholething.

(04:50):
You watched it with my mouthopen.

Speaker 3 (04:57):
Now, Norm, we're running out of time, but I would
be remiss here if I didn'tbring up something.
People have been bothering meabout this for months and months
.
People come on the show andthey say the next time you see
Norm MacDonald, he's got sometremendous stories about the
great Bob Euchre.
Now do you have a story you cantell us about Bob Euchre?
Voice of the Milwaukee Brewers.

Speaker 7 (05:17):
Well, Bob Euchre is one of my best friends.
He's a great man.
I know Artie told a story whenhe was here and Bob was not too
thrilled with that.

Speaker 2 (05:27):
It was Artie Lang.
You're talking about Artie Lang, yeah.

Speaker 7 (05:29):
But Bob is a very, very funny man and I often go in
the booth with him, you know,oh sure.
So one time we were there andJohn Fogerty was in the audience
.
You know a fortunate son, youknow.
So John Fogarty was there.
So Bob Uecker is a veryinteresting guy.
He thinks of everybody as thesame.
He doesn't think of people asstars or anything like that.

(05:51):
He's a very down to earth guy.
So he was talking to me.
He says hey man, you know thatguy, I go.
Yeah, he goes.
That's it is he goes.
Yeah, man, he goes.
But I played in a golftournament with him.
He goes.
You probably think of him assome that likes to bite the
heads off of chickens, but thisguy can.

(06:20):
That's exactly how I think ofhim.
This guy can get it out of thesand trap like nobody's f----
business.
So he goes.
He's got a hell of a set ofpipes on him.
He goes come to seventh inningstretch, I'll have him up here
he'll sing for you.
So I said no, no, bob, don't dothat Like, don't have him come

(06:41):
up and sing for me, please.
You know he goes.
What's the matter, man?
Don't we even know who he is.
He got all mad at me.
So I go.
Yes, bob, I know who he is.
He did Creedence ClearwaterRevival.
He goes.
Yeah, he did all that.

Speaker 9 (07:16):
I was hunting upstate New York and I shot a moose and
I strap him onto the fender ofmy car and I'm driving home
along the West Side Highway.
But what I didn't realize wasthat the bullet did not
penetrate the moose, it justcreased his scalp, knocking him
unconscious.
And I'm driving through theHolland Tunnel.

(07:36):
The moose woke up.
So I'm driving with a livemoose on my fender.
The moose is signaling for aturn.
You know there's a law in NewYork State against driving with
a conscious moose on your fenderTuesdays, thursdays and
Saturday.
And I'm very panicky.
And then it hits me somefriends of mine are having a

(07:59):
costume party.
I'll go, I'll take the moose,I'll ditch him at the party.
It wouldn't be myresponsibility.
So I drive up to the party andI knock on the door.
The moose is next to me.
Door.

(08:23):
The moose is next to me.
My host comes to the door.
I say hello, you know theSolomons.
We enter.
The moose mingles Did very wellScored.
Some guy was trying to sell himinsurance for an hour and a

(08:43):
half.
12 o'clock comes, they give outprizes for the best costume of
the night.
First prize goes to theBerkowitz's, a married couple
dressed as a moose.
The moose comes in second.
The moose is furious.
He and the Berkowitz's lockantlers in the living room.

(09:05):
They knock each otherunconscious.
Now I figure here's my chance.
I grab the moose, strap him tomy fender and shoot back to the
woods.
But I got the Berkowitz's tothe woods.
But I got the Berkowitz's.
I'm driving along with twoJewish people on my fender.
There's a law in New York StateTuesdays, thursdays and

(09:29):
especially Saturday.
The following morning theBerkowitz's wake up in the woods
in a moose suit.
Mr Berkowitz is shot, stuffedand mounted at the New York
Athletic Club.
And the joke is on them becauseit's restricted.

Speaker 10 (10:08):
I started a joke which started the whole world
crying Hats peeps 337.

Speaker 1 (10:17):
But I didn't see.
Oh well, crying Hats peeps 3.37.
But I didn't see.

Speaker 11 (10:25):
That the joke was on me, oh no.
And now the most horrible thingthat can happen to our house is
on its way.
His mother is coming to visitKing Kong with an overnight bag.
How can I describe her jellowith a?

(10:46):
belt when the old bat sits downand takes the whole mess five
minutes to settle when she takesher girdle off, her feet
disappear.
Putting a girdle on her is likeputting a band-aid on a guy who

(11:07):
had his head cut off.
Last time she bought a girdle,a US rubber went up eight points
.
You know what it says on herbra Wide load.
We still have a souvenir fromher last visit a persian throw
rug.

Speaker 13 (11:23):
She sat on the cat all right, I'm gonna start this
one off by saying I got a lot ofblack friends okay, most of
them I got through playingfootball.
They were my teammates.
We've been to war together onthe football field, loving to
death.
Now, with that being said, eversince I have had said friends,
they have told me that I have abad habit of putting them in

(11:45):
white people positions.
I do not fully understand whatthey mean, but they gave me the
reference of like passing a copon a two-lane road because he's
going underneath the speed limit.
Apparently they ain't supposedto do.
That makes them nervous.
Anyway, about a week ago get acall from buddy.
Mine play football togethersays hey, buddy, I want you to
come to cookout.
Hell, you ain't got to hit mein the face with a wet mop.

(12:06):
I like cookouts.
So I show up to the cookout, allright.
As I step out of my pick themup truck, I realize the only
three white things at thiscookout is the salt shaker, the
napkins and me.
All right, as I'm walking up, Iam being greeted by his grandma

(12:26):
and grandpa and hisgreat-grandma and grandpa and
his 47 cousins.
All right, which there's no wayfor me to remember all these
people's names.
Anyway, there's a long tablewhere the food everybody's
eating that, okay, they bring meover and set me down at the
head of the table.
I'm already, I'm already reallyuncomfortable at this point

(12:47):
because I don't know what'sabout to happen.
Well, they say the blessing andI get up to go fix my food.
Well, I was not aware that at ablack cookout you do not fix
your own plate, they fix yourplate for you.
Now they bring me a whoppingdixie plate that some bitches
round it off like this withbarbecue.
Okay, and I'm gonna eat it.

(13:10):
Don't get me wrong, I don'twaste food, I'm gonna eat it.
So as I'm sitting there munchingaway, you know, just kind of
getting my bearings about whereI'm at, these two ladies walk up
to me, two of his aunties withtwo different potato salads.
All right, they say we want toget your your opinion on which
one of these is better.

(13:30):
Now, apparently, just becauseI'm white, I'm supposed to know
the different calibers ofmayonnaise.
Well, I ain't fitting to pissnobody off at this cookout, okay
, so I ate both of them and Itold them that they were just so
damn good Both of them.
I couldn't pick one.
Now, at this current time I amalmost in a food coma because
I've ate so much because Ididn't want to disrespect

(13:50):
Nobody's cooking there.
And then his great grandmamaMama T, that's what they call
her she comes up to me with whatlooks like a five-pound piece
of cherry pie.
Now let me paint a picture foryou.
I've got the meat sweats, allright.
I've got barbecue sauce on myshirt.
I'm drifting in and out ofconsciousness and she's bringing

(14:14):
me a five-pound piece of pie.
Now I saw Friday After Next.
I know what happens when youdisrespect somebody's grandmama.
I saw what happened to Craigand Day-Day when they
disrespected somebody'sgrandmama.
You ain't fitting to be chasingme through these pines because
we way out in the woods at thiscookout.
I'm white, not stupid.
So as I eat this pie which I'meating this pie because I ain't
fitting to piss off nobody,especially the head woman there,

(14:36):
because she ranked up top.
That's great grandma, you don'tmess with her.
I finish this pie and I driftoff into a Caucasian kikosis of
a food coma.
I did just like this right here, just like this.
I went whew, I'm full.
As soon as I lifted my headback up the table I'm sitting at
is no more food on this table.

(14:57):
I don't know how long I was outfor, but somehow I'm still in
the same chair.
I have been dealt into ahigh-stakes spades game at an
all-black cookout besides me.
What the fuck is going on?
How did I get?

Speaker 1 (15:12):
here.
At what point in my life did Itake this?

Speaker 13 (15:14):
turn to take me to where I'm at and the cards is in
front of me and I got no ideahow to play spades.
Okay, none, I got no idea.
All right, I'm white.
We played go fish and corn holeAll we did.
We got bored.
One day, literally did thewhitest thing possible walked
out in the field, got some corn,took our pocket knives and cut

(15:36):
it off to stalk All right, putit in a bag, went over there,
found some plywood in the shed,cut a hole in it, put it on an
angle and we tossed it at eachother.
That's what we do.
I have no idea what spades is,so, as they give me the
runaround idea of what the hellis going on with this spades
game, I look at my hand and Irealize that I probably got a

(15:56):
pretty decent hand.
Well, they asked me.
They said, zach, how many booksyou got, which they had just
explained this to me now I'mtalking about just now.
I said it looks like I goteight books.
Apparently, that is the wrongdamn answer for your first hand
of spades ever, because as soonas I said I got eight books,
three Glock 9s hit the top ofthe table.

(16:17):
I've got every damn spade youcould possibly have and three
other aces.
Well, as I survive that round, Igo to get up and one of his
cousins come over and taps me onthe shoulder and says hey,
buddy, you want to go throwbones?
I don't know what they'retalking about.
I ain't got a shitting cluewhat they're talking about, but
I ain't going to piss nobody off.
You got to talking about, but Iain't gonna piss nobody off.

(16:39):
You gotta understand.
At this point I am in survivalmode.
I am not pissing not one personoff at this cookout.
I do whatever they tell me todo.
If they want me to stand on myhead and blow bubbles out of my
ass, I will do it, don't hurt me.
Okay now, I did not know bonesmeant dice.
I was leaning more towarddominoes, which I kind of knew
how to play from the Elks Lodge,but apparently bones means dice

(17:02):
.
I lost $36 so fast my fuckinghead was spinning, okay.
And apparently when they yellGator, that just code word for
white man loses, cuz they justtook my money.
I just put some more down untilI ran out of money, which is
fine.
Made it through that one too now, as I'm slowly trying to make
my way back to my truck.
I went over to thank mama t.

(17:23):
You know I think I thank mybuddy.
I thanked everybody on the wayto my truck and I've got my
truck in my sights.
I am zeroed in on my trucktrying to leave this place.
Now I get to my truck, I put myhand on my truck to go open it
and there's a like a sense ofrelief that comes over me, like
I didn't piss nobody off,nothing went wrong.

(17:45):
I went.
I made it.
Now, as I open my door, I feela tap on my shoulder.
I turn around.
The whole damn cookout isbehind me.
Everybody there is right aroundmy truck, with Mama T right
there in the front and my buddy,and he looked at me.

(18:06):
He said hey, buddy, next week'sMama T's birthday, you coming
back.
And I looked at him, bamboozledon what to say, and the only
thing I could come up with wasyou damn right, I'm coming back
because that's the best damnbarbecue I've ever had in my
life.
I don't know if you've everbeen to all black cookout, but

(18:26):
I'm gonna tell you, if you getthe invitation, you better take
that shit, because that is thebest food you ever gonna get and
the nicest damn people.
I scared shitless.
I ain't gonna lie, I'm a bigguy.
I was acting like a littlebitch, I didn't know what was
happening but at the same timethat's the most fun and some of
the best people I've ever beenaround in my entire life.
I'm going back next week, bet.
I told him.

(18:47):
I said y'all need me to bringsomething like some ice, cuz I
ain't trying to cook with y'all.
You know you want some ice orlike or like some of you me.
Go get my little cousin Kyle towear his monster hats and shit
and bring him.
He'll feel at home.
He got wife beaters and stuff,what y'all need.
They told me I couldn't bringnothing but myself, me and I,
which I will be there.
I'm white, not stupid.
I ain't pissing nobody off.

(19:08):
Shit Roll another blunt.

Speaker 1 (19:13):
Yeah, oh good, that's Peeps 3.
37.
Ew Ew.

Speaker 14 (19:22):
Ta-ta, wait, la-la-la-la, look at your side,
la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la.
Yeah, I was gonna clean my roomuntil I got high.
I was gonna get up and find thebroom, but then I got high.

(19:44):
My room is still messed up andI know why Cause I got high
because I got high class beforeI got high.
Come on, y'all Check it out.
I could have cheated and Icould have passed, but I got

(20:04):
high.
I'm taking the next semesterand I know why.
Cause I got high because I gothigh.
Because I got high.
Go to the next one.
Go to the next one.
Go to the next one.

Speaker 12 (20:19):
I thought I'd head out and do some exploring,
seeing as how I might not comehere again for quite a spell.
Well, I got to walking and Iwant to tell you that I done
seen every kind of place youcould imagine I did, a place you
could imagine I did.
There was a place for eating, aplace for drinking, a place for

(20:40):
dancing and just abouteverything I can think.
But there's this one place thatseemed kind of curious.
I could hear the music playingfrom outside and it wasn't like
the music we used to back home.
I mean, I couldn't hear afiddle, nor banjo, nor steel
guitar anywhere to be heard.
Now it was loud and thumping.

(21:01):
And there's a big muscly fellasitting outside and he says
friend, come on in.
I says I believe I will.
Then he tells me it's going tobe $10.
I says $10 for what?
And he says that that's for thecover charge and your first
drink.
I says, in that case, I believeI'll have me a big arm.

(21:25):
Well, friends, I walked insideand I want to tell you that I
ain't never seen such a place inall my days.
There was men sitting aroundand smoking cigars and hooting
and hollering, and pretty galswalking around carrying drinks
and wearing the scampiest littlethings and I don't know what
all.
Then I looked up and I seen ona big stage, like the kind at

(21:51):
the state fair, a pretty littlenumber wearing nothing but a
smile and some of them big oldhigh heel boots.
She was.
Now she's wiggling around anddancing and the men, they's
giving her dollars, which iskind of silly like, because she
doesn't have no place to putthem.

(22:12):
Well, I looked over and I saysto the fellow next to me I says
where have I stumbled upon?
I did.
Well, he pulled that cigar outhis mouth and he pats me on the
back and he says friend, have alap dance.
So he waves down one of the galswith a skimpy-like outfit and

(22:36):
she starts a-dancin' about me,real slow-like, and when she
turned around I could see thather shorts was too small, like
maybe she ain't gotten any newones for a while, cause these
ones was a-bindin' anda-creepin' they was.
Well, she done, finished herdance and says to me that'll be

(22:59):
ten dollars Again with the tendollars, and this time I was
pretty sure there wasn't gonnabe no Big Orange to go along
with it.
It was getting on about 9.30,and I figured, since it was so

(23:25):
late and I'd done run out of $10bills, I'd best be getting on
Now.
I ain't never been back to thatthere place since, but I have
done some studying Now what Ifigure is that that was a
charitable type place where themen, who's all rich and such
come together to give them theirgals, who's less fortunate and
all some of their extra money sothey can go out and buy clothes

(23:48):
.

Speaker 4 (23:53):
Hey, mark, excuse me, I'm on my way to 3768.
Kind of got hung up.
It's raining out here.
I'm on my way into Dallas.
Jerry's probably going to becalling you to find out where
I'm at.
If he can't get a hold of me,I'm sure so.
Whoa, whoa man, I just had awreck right in front of me.
This guy ran a red light andhit four old ladies in an Impala

(24:15):
, just kind of clipped them andturned them around right in
front of me.
Man, that was close.
Oh, now this guy's getting outof his car.
He's got a white shirt on witha tie and a cigarette hanging
out of his mouth.
He's throwing his hands up inthe air like it was their fault.
Oh, hold on, hold on.
He's going over to their window.
She's rolling down the window,oh man.

Speaker 8 (24:41):
I think she sprayed him with pepper spray.
Man.
He's holding his face and he'son his knees.

Speaker 2 (24:48):
She's getting out.
She's beating him with anumbrella.
The other women are getting outtoo.
There's an umbrella.

Speaker 8 (24:54):
The other women are getting out too.
There's one woman with a littleblack purse and she's time to
walk it in, man.

Speaker 2 (25:07):
She looks like a Sunbelt 20-horsepower jackhammer
.

Speaker 8 (25:13):
We've got another woman, that's she's hitting him
like he's got a cattle pride man.

Speaker 2 (25:21):
She's got an umbrella that she's sticking in his side
.

Speaker 8 (25:25):
Oh, there's another one that it's a little woman who
looks like Mother Goose.

Speaker 2 (25:29):
She's got, oh, she beamed him.
She beamed him.
She's got this U-bid bag.
She's got, oh big bag.

Speaker 8 (25:33):
It's huge.
It's about this size of her.
She's about four foot, nothing,she hit him over the head.

Speaker 2 (25:35):
Everything went all over the place.
Her Bible fell.
She just hit him in the headwith a Bible.

Speaker 8 (25:38):
She picked this Bible up and she lifted it way over
her head.
She's got this huge big bag.
It's huge.

Speaker 2 (25:41):
It's huge.
It's about this size of her.

Speaker 8 (25:56):
She picked this Bible up and she lifted it way over
her head.

Speaker 2 (26:00):
It was a hardback NBI version.
Oh, they're still beating thehell out of this guy.

Speaker 8 (26:10):
She picked this Bible up and raised it up above her
head and just beamed the guy,this guy's not getting up,
they're still hitting him.

Speaker 2 (26:21):
The woman with the little black purse is still.

Speaker 8 (26:24):
Oh pieces of.

Speaker 2 (26:29):
Oh, okay, he's up on the.
The little woman just beamedhim again with that big bag,
he's running to his car.

Speaker 8 (26:41):
He's out of here.

Speaker 2 (26:47):
Oh, the little bitty mother goose woman.
She's stuck into him as he'sdriving off.

Speaker 8 (26:57):
I wish you would have been here, man.

Speaker 2 (27:01):
This is too good.

Speaker 6 (27:31):
Hit me 1-1-1 a long time ago.
Don't you see how late they'rereacting?
They only come when they comewhen they wanna.
So get them off truck and thenbomb the corner.
They don't care, cause theystay paid anyway.
They treat you like an ace.
They can't beat the trade.
I know you stumble with no usepeople.
If your life is on the line,then you're dead today.
Late comers, with the latecomers stretching, that's a body

(27:52):
bag in disguise, y'all, I'llbet.
Ya, I call them body stances,cause they come to fetch you
With an autopsy ambulance justto dissect.
Ya, they are the kings, causethey swing amputations, lose
your arms, your legs and then,with compilation, I can prove it
to you.
Watch the rotation.
It all adds up to a f***ingsituation.
So get up and get, get, getdown.
9-1-1 is joking yo town.

(28:13):
Get up and get, get, get down.
Late.
9-1-1 wears a late crown.
Get up and get, get, get down.
9-1-1 is joke in your town.
Get up and get, get, get down.
Late.
9-1-1 wears a late crown.

Speaker 5 (28:29):
Here we are again, the animal stories News team
Anchorman.
Here's me, your charming anddelightful old Uncle Lair, and
there's him in person.
Hi, little snot-nosed Tommy, hi, tommy, hi, uncle Lair, hi
everybody.
According to police inWillinghall, england, a

(28:54):
horse-drawn cart of scrap drewup behind a motorcyclist at a
railroad crossing gate which wasdown to allow a train to pass.
The horse proceeded to drool onthe cyclist.
Here's some biker a little timeSitting there on his big Harley

(29:16):
Minding his own business,waiting for this train to go by.
Horse pulls up, starts drooling, so he got mad, it says here,

(29:48):
gave the horse his best elbowshot right to the well.
Right in the process, when he,when he lifted up his arm to
give this horse an elbow shot,he let go of his clutch and his
motorcycle lurched forward,little Tommy, into the car in
front of him.
Meanwhile the horse who hasjust been punched in the face

(30:12):
rear is up dump saw the load ofscrap onto the car behind, which
rolled backwards under theweight and rammed the front of
yet another car on the line.
Now, seeing this chain reaction,a passing dog walker tied his
terrier to the railroad gate andwent to help out.
But the train had passed andthe gate went up, pulling the

(30:36):
dog 20 feet into the air by hisneck.
See, the dog's owner shouted toanother pedestrian to lower the
gate, which came down on anddamaged the roof of a passing
Mercedes Benz.
Oh wow, down on and damaged theroof of a passing Mercedes Benz

(31:02):
.
Oh wow.
I don't know how the doesn'tsay how the dog is.
I suppose it would depend onwhich side of the gate he was
tied to.
He was on the side that camecrashing down to the Mercedes
Benz.
A dog probably not gonna be.
Yeah.

Speaker 10 (31:15):
Some people call me the space cowboy.
Yeah, some call me the gangsterof love.

Speaker 1 (31:23):
Thank you for listening to my Pat's Peeps 337.
Some people call me Hope.
You just put a smile on yourface.
All we're trying to do on thisWednesday.

Speaker 10 (31:32):
Of the pompatists of love.

Speaker 1 (31:35):
Thank you for listening.
Spend a little time with us.
Patspeepscom Two for one mealsRight there in our great merch
store.
Please check it out.
Support local business.
Have a great Wednesday.
We'll see you.

Speaker 10 (32:10):
On the radio.
I'm a joker, I'm a smoker.
I'm a midnight toker.
I sure don't want to hurt noone.
I'm a picker, I'm a grinner,I'm a lover and I'm a sinner.
I play my music in the sun.

(32:34):
I'm a joker, I'm a smoker.
I'm a joker, I'm a smoker, I'ma midnight toker.
I get my loving on the run.