June 12, 2025 • 20 mins
A satirical journey through California's contradictions exposes the "premium state with premium ideas" as perhaps less desirable than advertised. The episode uses mockery and parody to highlight political hypocrisy, failed policies, and the growing exodus from the once-golden state.
• Satirical tourism ad promoting California's "premium" features including highest housing prices, taxes, and gas prices
• Mock political dialogue minimizing riots and crime while claiming "peaceful protests"
• Critical examination of slave reparations policy in a state "that never had slaves"
• Parody of emergency services prioritizing identity politics over competency
• Musical segments about California's wildfires, failed infrastructure, and mass exodus
• Critique of politicians who say "do as I say, not as I do" while dining at upscale restaurants
• Various references to homeless crisis, sanctuary city policies, and environmental challenges
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Tired of your ordinary, boring life in a red
state?
Why not visit California?
California is a premium statewith premium ideas.
We've got the highest housingprices, gas and taxes of any
state, and more is always better.
Come see our breathtakingbeaches, our majestic, mostly
(00:23):
peaceful forests, or come to seea family-friendly Dodger game.
There are always plenty of freecampsites and, the best part,
you can go to the bathroomanywhere you want, no questions
asked.
Want to meet new people?
We've got you covered, with ahuge wave of illegal immigrants
coming over the border each andevery day.
(00:44):
Hola, senors, diversity is ourL-strength.
Though you may have heard it'sexpensive here.
But not to worry, try a smashand grab.
We won't stop you.
We've got everything the redstates have Well, except for
water and electricity and freshair.
Oh, and there's a lot oftraffic.
(01:06):
But hey, you might meet a realmovie star or even Kirk Cameron.
So come on down to a statewhere the possibilities are
endless, and so are the taxesand crime and cost of living and
regulations and woke nonsensein schools and blackouts and the
brownouts and the wildfires andthe earthquakes and the sewage
(01:30):
spills and the droughts and muchmore.
California a little taste ofAmerica's future.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Why the hell is everyone acting like I'm not
doing anything about the mostlypeaceful riots in Los Angeles?
Can't they see I'm doing my job?
I mean, for God's sake, it'snot like anyone's setting things
on fire.
Besides, la is still awonderful place, with great
weather and the occasional75,000 homeless people pooping
in the streets.
It's like people expect me todo something every time,
(01:59):
slightly less than peacefulrioters blow up a few cop cars.
Falcon.
I know what you mean, gavin.
It's disappointing people beand peaceful rioters blow up a
few cop cars.
Falcon, paw, I know what youmean, gavin.
It's disappointing people beacting like we not doing nothing
.
So how much barbecue sauce doyou want on them?
Ribs A lot, hello.
Since you refuse to handle theriots in LA, I'm taking matters
into my own hands and sendingthe National Guard.
(02:19):
No, donald, you can't.
If you do that, then it's goingto make it obvious I'm not
doing my job, gavin.
These people are violent andthey're destroying the beautiful
city of Los Angeles.
Oh, so all of a sudden, a bunchof arsonists and looters
terrorizing the streets of LosAngeles is a problem, I'll have
you know.
It's been happening for yearsand I've never complained about
it.
It's good to see you.
I heard you had to evacuate home.
(02:40):
I did.
I had to leave my house.
But you know what?
I think everybody's doing agreat job with the LA fires.
All right, I'm proud of theleadership we have in LA, and I
know I'm right because my wifeis black and white people.
Suck Free, luigi, I agree,they're really doing a great job
.
Yeah, all these fire expertsonline saying how it was
mismanaged oh, I'm upset becausethe entire neighborhoods are
(03:01):
being destroyed and there's nowater in the hydrants and there
were huge budget cuts rightbefore the fire and there's a
shortage of equipment for thefirefighters.
Lunatics, right?
Sorry, hang on, bill Burr here.
Hey, bill, I'm calling to makesure you're telling everyone
what a great job I'm doing.
I do it myself, but for somereason, everyone thinks I'm
lying all the time.
(03:22):
But they'll believe you becauseyou're just like them, don't
worry.
All right, all these people whoare mad at you are out of their
minds, right?
You're a good guy.
You did an unbelievably goodjob.
All right, thanks, bill, I knewI picked the right guy.
I'm doing a great job.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
California probably the most craziest state they
passed this thing called slavereparations.
California's gonna pay slavereparations to people who are
never slaves, to be paid for bypeople who never owned slaves in
a state that never had slaves,that never had slaves.
(03:59):
That's like paying childsupport for a child you never
had with a woman you neverf***ed.
You know it just doesn't.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
If we didn't send out the National Guard.
Speaker 4 (04:20):
Oh my gosh, we didn't need the National Guard, right,
it was all fine until he ruinedeverything.
Speaker 5 (04:26):
It's all his fault, it's all Trump's fault Because
they called out the NationalGuard.
There was violence.
There was no violence.
Of course there was no violence.
Silly Nope.
This is California, Yep,there's never violence in
California.
Speaker 8 (04:39):
Yeah, I totally agree .
Speaker 5 (04:40):
There's been no violence at all.
None, this isn't a riot, nope,it's a peaceful protest.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
Very peaceful.
Speaker 5 (04:46):
And it's actually more magical than it is peaceful
.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
Oh, it's very, very magical.
Speaker 5 (04:50):
It's just hardworking people showing their passionate
civic engagement.
Couldn't agree with you more,boss.
I've never been more proud.
Oh, look at that energy outthere.
That's California spirit rightthere.
Look at those amazingCalifornians trying to save
someone from a burning building.
Speaker 9 (05:07):
He's a hero.
Speaker 5 (05:08):
True California hero.
Wow, look at those greatfathers taking some time off of
work to shop for their kids.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Trump supporters will say they're just looters, those
aren't looters, nope.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
They're just gooders.
Those aren't looters, nope.
Speaker 5 (05:21):
They're just good fathers who gave you thank yous
to put food on the table.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
Oh yeah, north Hollywood Division.
See that, yep.
Speaker 5 (05:25):
Lighting cop cars on fire.
That's a symbol of peace.
Yep, unity, yep.
It's like a campfire for thecommunity.
And it brings so many goodpeople together.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Oh, I bet it tastes delicious, it's a family thing.
Speaker 5 (05:36):
Yep Trump supporters wouldn't understand no way.
Waving a Mexican flag whiletrashing the city you live in,
that's literally the mostAmerican thing you can do.
Oh yeah, you're not a trueAmerican unless you wave a
Mexican flag while setting a copcar on fire.
Speaker 8 (05:49):
Right.
Speaker 5 (05:50):
It's like totally the American way.
Speaker 8 (05:52):
Yep.
Speaker 5 (05:52):
It's like baseball and apple pie.
Oh yeah, and their right asAmericans do.
Right, it's called freedom ofexpression.
People, it's the FirstAmendment.
Yeah, look it up Trumpsupporters.
Oh, look at how he keeps theAmerican flag warm.
Oh, he really loves America.
Speaker 11 (06:05):
You can tell oh yeah .
Speaker 5 (06:11):
Well done, peaceful Duh.
We don't need the NationalGuard or the Marines, nope, go
away.
We've totally got this undercontrol.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
Yes, we do.
Speaker 5 (06:20):
Just guard.
Nope, go away.
We've totally got this undercontrol.
Yes, we do Just like when wehad those wildfires handled a
few months ago.
Oh, we did such a good job ofputting those fires out oh yeah,
we totally handled that.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Yeah, we don't have any need for the feds here, nope
.
Speaker 5 (06:26):
We're a sanctuary city Coming to America illegally
isn't even a crime, right, it'sjust creative border navigation
.
Yep, we're, we're going to getthings done.
It's the truth.
We're a good team.
Yeah, we are.
We're keeping things chill here.
Yep, we don't need the militarycoming in and scaring everyone.
Go away, boy.
(06:47):
These people really love LosAngeles.
Right, look how proud they are.
This is why I do this, me too,for them passing it.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Law-abiding citizens, oh yeah, this isn't a riot, no,
this is a celebration.
Speaker 5 (06:59):
Yep, just fun Californians being fun
Californians.
California has never been safer.
The greatest state on Earth.
Everybody wants to beCalifornia.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
I don't know if you can, but can you get?
Speaker 6 (07:10):
an owner for Arns.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
That's O-N-S Junior Market.
The address is 1934 EastAnaheim, 34 East Anaheim.
Speaker 4 (07:16):
All the windows are busted out and it's like a
free-for-all here and the ownersshould maybe come down here and
see if they can secure hisbusiness.
Speaker 12 (07:29):
Thank you, austin.
April 26, 1992.
There was a riot on the streets.
Tell me where were you.
Speaker 6 (07:42):
You were sitting home watching your TV while I was
participating in some anarchy.
First spot we hit it was myliquor store, I finally got all
that alcohol I can't afford.
With red lights flashing, timeto retire.
And then we turned that liquorstore into a structure fire.
Next stop we hit it was themusic shop.
It only took one look to makethat window drop.
Finally, we got our own PA.
(08:02):
Where do you think I got thisguitar that you're hearing today
?
Hey, Call Fire at Delta orSuper Spot or the station LPS at
a high it's uh, flaming up.
Speaker 4 (08:13):
Good, this is where I left California.
I couldn't go to a Walmartwithout getting harassed Like,
hey, excuse me, can I get somemoney?
Huh, can you get me somethingto eat?
I was like you know what Get af***ing job.
Okay, have some self-respectand don't give me the whole whoa
(08:37):
.
That's not how you talk to yourwife.
California.
Yeah.
Speaker 11 (08:42):
I am Gavin Newsom Ruling's.
What I do, do as I say and notas I do.
I am your governor.
Rest long, so listen to me.
If your county's purple, it'spatio life for thee.
(09:12):
I'm from California,hypothermia from sitting in the
cold.
If you're looking for me, I'llbe at French Laundry.
Speaker 7 (09:23):
I'm from California.
How many people from California?
I think California does itright, cuz whatever we do, the
rest of the country just copiesit like we.
We invent cool stuff, weinvented the environment.
We're the first state to passno smoking indoors.
I thought that was cool.
Used to have no smokingsections in restaurants, like
(09:45):
that did anything.
It's air.
A non-smoking section in arestaurant is like a non-peeing
section in a pool.
Speaker 8 (09:58):
Palisades are burning bright.
Oregon trucks nowhere inside.
Budget cuts, hydrants dry, nowater in supply.
Hearst fire, kenneth fire,eaton fire please retire.
Climate change, trump'sderanged the LA fires are not
contained.
Burn, baby burn.
Karen Bass is on the scene.
Reject, rejecting almosteverything Smelt, fish, droughts
(10:21):
and wind.
This is all Trump's fault.
Again, transgenders fightingfires, dei, that's not satire.
Forest dry flames are high.
California say goodbye.
I didn't start the fire.
No, I didn't light it andrefuse to fight it.
I didn't start the fire.
That's misinformation.
Kid in education.
Speaker 5 (10:47):
You want to see somebody that responds to your
house that looks like you.
Speaker 10 (10:51):
Welcome to the Los Angeles Fire Department's 2025
orientation video.
Here at LIFD, we focus on theimportant things, like making
sure the fireman, firewoman orfire they that show up to a
burning building look like thepeople that they're trying to
save.
It's far more important thatthe victims of any fires or
(11:11):
emergencies see someone thatreflects their race, sex or
sexual identity than to see orreceive help from somebody
outside of their group.
I mean, could you imagine awhite child looking up to a
black firefighter and seeing himas an ally in his Aryan
community?
Ha ha ha ha.
Not in LA.
You won't.
(11:31):
Because at LAFD, races don'tmix To all the Caucasian
prospects, we ask that you holdyour applications.
While we focus on filling thesepositions with members from the
marginalized communities, it'stime for you whites to step back
, listen and check yourprivilege.
Lafd is leading the nation inour application of DEI programs
(11:52):
and this month we're kicking offour Face Race initiative.
We'll reflect your racial orsexual background and no
rescuing will commence untilthat representation is present.
We're hoping to have the whitesassisting only their
communities by 2030.
At LAFD, our goal is to let theminorities handle it themselves
, and this year we've furtheredour commitment to our
(12:14):
communities by taking a 17million dollar pay cut.
This cut will allow us to shutdown water collection points as
their presence hindered mostlypeaceful fires trying to express
themselves in their communities.
And fear not those of you thatfailed our physical fitness
testing, as we are currentlyremoving all physical
requirements from this academyJoin the proud ranks of our
(12:35):
nation's first handy capablefire battalion, where 100% of
our firefighters are wheelchairbound.
And remember, if you can'tcarry somebody out of a burning
building, just remember thatthey put themselves in that
situation and it's not yourfault, got himself in the wrong
place.
Speaker 5 (12:51):
If I have to carry, him out of a fire.
Speaker 10 (12:52):
And if you're asking yourself, hey, why is a white
guy telling me all this?
Well, I'm gay.
At LAFD, we're DE-EYEing tohave you on our team.
No, but seriously, most of ourwheelchair battalion is dead.
Join the Los Angeles FireDepartment today.
(13:16):
We're on fire.
Thank God that you're here.
This Asian guy's house is onfire and since I'm white, I had
to wait for one of you to showup so that we could help.
Yeah, uh, I don't really likehow you said one of you, but
I'll go talk to the gentlemanand see if I can help.
(13:38):
Damn it, richard, watch yourmicroaggressions.
Well, can't help why?
Well, I'm Vietnamese and he'sKorean, so you know what that
means.
Speaker 6 (13:49):
We need another.
Speaker 10 (13:50):
Asian Dang it.
Speaker 6 (14:01):
All the streets are brown and the teachers gay.
I went for a walk, got muggedalong the way.
Yeah, I'd be safe from home IfI moved from LA.
(14:22):
California fleeing I gotta getaway.
I wish we all could leaveCalifornia now.
I wish we all could leaveCalifornia.
I wish we all could leaveCalifornia now.
(14:46):
On a dark, smoky freeway,pollution in the air, endless
lines of U-Hauls Leaving despairUp ahead in the distance.
A soft, a broken light.
(15:07):
My wallet's empty.
My rights are gone.
I'm fleeing here tonight.
Harry Smith in Sacramento,gavin Smith on display.
I came for his promises Ofequity and better way.
He said he'd tax the rich andhelp the poor get by.
(15:32):
But now I can't afford gasbecause the rent's too high.
Getting out of this hell ofCalifornia what a running place.
Getting out of this hellholeCalifornia.
What a rotten place.
Rotten place, floating state.
(15:55):
Everything's ruined.
In hellhole California.
It was paradise, paradise, ourparadise.
Speaker 7 (16:05):
California is your natural disaster.
Let's get to it.
Let's get right to it.
Stop moving here.
I'm going to look in the cameraand tell you something.
Coeur d'Alene is an ugly place.
You don't want to be here.
The people are horrible,sometimes it's cold, sometimes
it's beautiful, and people keepmoving here.
Those motherfuckers fromCalifornia, alright, whoops,
time out, time out.
That's not what I was asking.
(16:26):
This is how the town hallstarted.
You remember?
This is what it was just asimple, nice conversation.
Speaker 8 (16:33):
Stay away, stay away, california.
Speaker 9 (16:34):
As you know, our three at-large vice chair
positions are used to ensuregender balance among seven
offices Treasurer, secretary,national Finance Chair and Vice
Chair for Civic Engagement andVoter Participation and the
three at-large Vice Chairs.
Our rules specify that when wehave a gender non-binary
(16:57):
candidate or officer, thenon-binary individual is counted
as neither male nor female, andthe remaining six offices must
be gender balanced.
With the results of theprevious four elections, our
elected officers are currentlytwo male and two female.
In order to be gender balanced,we must elect one male, one
(17:26):
female and one person of anygender.
So, again, this is what we haveto do for this vice chair race
we have to elect one male, onefemale and one person of any
gender.
To ensure our process accountsfor male, female and non-binary
candidates, we conferred withour RBC co-chair, our LGBT
(17:47):
Caucus co-chair and others toensure that the process is
inclusive and meets the genderbalance requirements in our
rules.
To do this, our process will beslightly different than the one
outlined to you earlier thisweek, but I hope you will see
that in practice it is simpleand transparent.
As we must elect a candidate ofany gender, as well as one male
(18:08):
and one female vice chair, wewill first ask members to elect
a candidate of any gender on thefirst ballot.
Any candidate male, female andnon-binary can be elected on
that ballot.
After a candidate is elected onthe first ballot, we'll have
one officer of the three, so wewill not.
(18:30):
So then we will know whichposition is filled of the one
male, one female and one vicechair of any gender.
Our second ballot would also befor a candidate of any gender.
Then our third ballot will bethe third position that is
remaining, based on the tworesults either a male candidate
if a candidate that is not malehas not been elected, or a
(18:51):
female candidate if a female hasnot been elected.
Additionally, pursuant to ourrules, our unsuccessful
candidates for vice chair ofcivic engagement and voter
participation will automaticallybe included as candidates for
these vice chair positions,unless they indicated otherwise
(19:12):
on their nominating statementthat's going to do it for our
california special on the patspeeps podcast.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
Happy thursday.
See you from the BluegrassFestival.
Speaker 12 (19:24):
Pack up all your dishes, make note of all good
wishes, say goodbye to thelandlord.
For me, sons of bitches alwaysbore me.
Throw out those LA papers.
Holy box of vanilla wafers.
(19:48):
Adios to all this concrete.
Gonna get me some dirt roadback straight.
Speaker 6 (19:57):
I can just get off of that LA freeway Without getting
killed or caught.
Speaker 12 (20:07):
Down the road in a cloud of smoke for some land
that I ain't bought, I thoughtit might task it off for that LA
freeway without getting killedor caught.
Tired of your ordinary, boring life in a red
state?
Why not visit California?
California is a premium statewith premium ideas.
We've got the highest housingprices, gas and taxes of any
state, and more is always better.
Come see our breathtakingbeaches, our majestic, mostly
(00:23):
peaceful forests, or come to seea family-friendly Dodger game.
There are always plenty of freecampsites and, the best part,
you can go to the bathroomanywhere you want, no questions
asked.
Want to meet new people?
We've got you covered, with ahuge wave of illegal immigrants
coming over the border each andevery day.
(00:44):
Hola, senors, diversity is ourL-strength.
Though you may have heard it'sexpensive here.
But not to worry, try a smashand grab.
We won't stop you.
We've got everything the redstates have Well, except for
water and electricity and freshair.
Oh, and there's a lot oftraffic.
(01:06):
But hey, you might meet a realmovie star or even Kirk Cameron.
So come on down to a statewhere the possibilities are
endless, and so are the taxesand crime and cost of living and
regulations and woke nonsensein schools and blackouts and the
brownouts and the wildfires andthe earthquakes and the sewage
(01:30):
spills and the droughts and muchmore.
California a little taste ofAmerica's future.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Why the hell is everyone acting like I'm not
doing anything about the mostlypeaceful riots in Los Angeles?
Can't they see I'm doing my job?
I mean, for God's sake, it'snot like anyone's setting things
on fire.
Besides, la is still awonderful place, with great
weather and the occasional75,000 homeless people pooping
in the streets.
It's like people expect me todo something every time,
(01:59):
slightly less than peacefulrioters blow up a few cop cars.
Falcon.
I know what you mean, gavin.
It's disappointing people beand peaceful rioters blow up a
few cop cars.
Falcon, paw, I know what youmean, gavin.
It's disappointing people beacting like we not doing nothing
.
So how much barbecue sauce doyou want on them?
Ribs A lot, hello.
Since you refuse to handle theriots in LA, I'm taking matters
into my own hands and sendingthe National Guard.
(02:19):
No, donald, you can't.
If you do that, then it's goingto make it obvious I'm not
doing my job, gavin.
These people are violent andthey're destroying the beautiful
city of Los Angeles.
Oh, so all of a sudden, a bunchof arsonists and looters
terrorizing the streets of LosAngeles is a problem, I'll have
you know.
It's been happening for yearsand I've never complained about
it.
It's good to see you.
I heard you had to evacuate home.
(02:40):
I did.
I had to leave my house.
But you know what?
I think everybody's doing agreat job with the LA fires.
All right, I'm proud of theleadership we have in LA, and I
know I'm right because my wifeis black and white people.
Suck Free, luigi, I agree,they're really doing a great job
.
Yeah, all these fire expertsonline saying how it was
mismanaged oh, I'm upset becausethe entire neighborhoods are
(03:01):
being destroyed and there's nowater in the hydrants and there
were huge budget cuts rightbefore the fire and there's a
shortage of equipment for thefirefighters.
Lunatics, right?
Sorry, hang on, bill Burr here.
Hey, bill, I'm calling to makesure you're telling everyone
what a great job I'm doing.
I do it myself, but for somereason, everyone thinks I'm
lying all the time.
(03:22):
But they'll believe you becauseyou're just like them, don't
worry.
All right, all these people whoare mad at you are out of their
minds, right?
You're a good guy.
You did an unbelievably goodjob.
All right, thanks, bill, I knewI picked the right guy.
I'm doing a great job.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
California probably the most craziest state they
passed this thing called slavereparations.
California's gonna pay slavereparations to people who are
never slaves, to be paid for bypeople who never owned slaves in
a state that never had slaves,that never had slaves.
(03:59):
That's like paying childsupport for a child you never
had with a woman you neverf***ed.
You know it just doesn't.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
If we didn't send out the National Guard.
Speaker 4 (04:20):
Oh my gosh, we didn't need the National Guard, right,
it was all fine until he ruinedeverything.
Speaker 5 (04:26):
It's all his fault, it's all Trump's fault Because
they called out the NationalGuard.
There was violence.
There was no violence.
Of course there was no violence.
Silly Nope.
This is California, Yep,there's never violence in
California.
Speaker 8 (04:39):
Yeah, I totally agree .
Speaker 5 (04:40):
There's been no violence at all.
None, this isn't a riot, nope,it's a peaceful protest.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
Very peaceful.
Speaker 5 (04:46):
And it's actually more magical than it is peaceful
.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
Oh, it's very, very magical.
Speaker 5 (04:50):
It's just hardworking people showing their passionate
civic engagement.
Couldn't agree with you more,boss.
I've never been more proud.
Oh, look at that energy outthere.
That's California spirit rightthere.
Look at those amazingCalifornians trying to save
someone from a burning building.
Speaker 9 (05:07):
He's a hero.
Speaker 5 (05:08):
True California hero.
Wow, look at those greatfathers taking some time off of
work to shop for their kids.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Trump supporters will say they're just looters, those
aren't looters, nope.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
They're just gooders.
Those aren't looters, nope.
Speaker 5 (05:21):
They're just good fathers who gave you thank yous
to put food on the table.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
Oh yeah, north Hollywood Division.
See that, yep.
Speaker 5 (05:25):
Lighting cop cars on fire.
That's a symbol of peace.
Yep, unity, yep.
It's like a campfire for thecommunity.
And it brings so many goodpeople together.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Oh, I bet it tastes delicious, it's a family thing.
Speaker 5 (05:36):
Yep Trump supporters wouldn't understand no way.
Waving a Mexican flag whiletrashing the city you live in,
that's literally the mostAmerican thing you can do.
Oh yeah, you're not a trueAmerican unless you wave a
Mexican flag while setting a copcar on fire.
Speaker 8 (05:49):
Right.
Speaker 5 (05:50):
It's like totally the American way.
Speaker 8 (05:52):
Yep.
Speaker 5 (05:52):
It's like baseball and apple pie.
Oh yeah, and their right asAmericans do.
Right, it's called freedom ofexpression.
People, it's the FirstAmendment.
Yeah, look it up Trumpsupporters.
Oh, look at how he keeps theAmerican flag warm.
Oh, he really loves America.
Speaker 11 (06:05):
You can tell oh yeah .
Speaker 5 (06:11):
Well done, peaceful Duh.
We don't need the NationalGuard or the Marines, nope, go
away.
We've totally got this undercontrol.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
Yes, we do.
Speaker 5 (06:20):
Just guard.
Nope, go away.
We've totally got this undercontrol.
Yes, we do Just like when wehad those wildfires handled a
few months ago.
Oh, we did such a good job ofputting those fires out oh yeah,
we totally handled that.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Yeah, we don't have any need for the feds here, nope
.
Speaker 5 (06:26):
We're a sanctuary city Coming to America illegally
isn't even a crime, right, it'sjust creative border navigation
.
Yep, we're, we're going to getthings done.
It's the truth.
We're a good team.
Yeah, we are.
We're keeping things chill here.
Yep, we don't need the militarycoming in and scaring everyone.
Go away, boy.
(06:47):
These people really love LosAngeles.
Right, look how proud they are.
This is why I do this, me too,for them passing it.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Law-abiding citizens, oh yeah, this isn't a riot, no,
this is a celebration.
Speaker 5 (06:59):
Yep, just fun Californians being fun
Californians.
California has never been safer.
The greatest state on Earth.
Everybody wants to beCalifornia.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
I don't know if you can, but can you get?
Speaker 6 (07:10):
an owner for Arns.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
That's O-N-S Junior Market.
The address is 1934 EastAnaheim, 34 East Anaheim.
Speaker 4 (07:16):
All the windows are busted out and it's like a
free-for-all here and the ownersshould maybe come down here and
see if they can secure hisbusiness.
Speaker 12 (07:29):
Thank you, austin.
April 26, 1992.
There was a riot on the streets.
Tell me where were you.
Speaker 6 (07:42):
You were sitting home watching your TV while I was
participating in some anarchy.
First spot we hit it was myliquor store, I finally got all
that alcohol I can't afford.
With red lights flashing, timeto retire.
And then we turned that liquorstore into a structure fire.
Next stop we hit it was themusic shop.
It only took one look to makethat window drop.
Finally, we got our own PA.
(08:02):
Where do you think I got thisguitar that you're hearing today
?
Hey, Call Fire at Delta orSuper Spot or the station LPS at
a high it's uh, flaming up.
Speaker 4 (08:13):
Good, this is where I left California.
I couldn't go to a Walmartwithout getting harassed Like,
hey, excuse me, can I get somemoney?
Huh, can you get me somethingto eat?
I was like you know what Get af***ing job.
Okay, have some self-respectand don't give me the whole whoa
(08:37):
.
That's not how you talk to yourwife.
California.
Yeah.
Speaker 11 (08:42):
I am Gavin Newsom Ruling's.
What I do, do as I say and notas I do.
I am your governor.
Rest long, so listen to me.
If your county's purple, it'spatio life for thee.
(09:12):
I'm from California,hypothermia from sitting in the
cold.
If you're looking for me, I'llbe at French Laundry.
Speaker 7 (09:23):
I'm from California.
How many people from California?
I think California does itright, cuz whatever we do, the
rest of the country just copiesit like we.
We invent cool stuff, weinvented the environment.
We're the first state to passno smoking indoors.
I thought that was cool.
Used to have no smokingsections in restaurants, like
(09:45):
that did anything.
It's air.
A non-smoking section in arestaurant is like a non-peeing
section in a pool.
Speaker 8 (09:58):
Palisades are burning bright.
Oregon trucks nowhere inside.
Budget cuts, hydrants dry, nowater in supply.
Hearst fire, kenneth fire,eaton fire please retire.
Climate change, trump'sderanged the LA fires are not
contained.
Burn, baby burn.
Karen Bass is on the scene.
Reject, rejecting almosteverything Smelt, fish, droughts
(10:21):
and wind.
This is all Trump's fault.
Again, transgenders fightingfires, dei, that's not satire.
Forest dry flames are high.
California say goodbye.
I didn't start the fire.
No, I didn't light it andrefuse to fight it.
I didn't start the fire.
That's misinformation.
Kid in education.
Speaker 5 (10:47):
You want to see somebody that responds to your
house that looks like you.
Speaker 10 (10:51):
Welcome to the Los Angeles Fire Department's 2025
orientation video.
Here at LIFD, we focus on theimportant things, like making
sure the fireman, firewoman orfire they that show up to a
burning building look like thepeople that they're trying to
save.
It's far more important thatthe victims of any fires or
(11:11):
emergencies see someone thatreflects their race, sex or
sexual identity than to see orreceive help from somebody
outside of their group.
I mean, could you imagine awhite child looking up to a
black firefighter and seeing himas an ally in his Aryan
community?
Ha ha ha ha.
Not in LA.
You won't.
(11:31):
Because at LAFD, races don'tmix To all the Caucasian
prospects, we ask that you holdyour applications.
While we focus on filling thesepositions with members from the
marginalized communities, it'stime for you whites to step back
, listen and check yourprivilege.
Lafd is leading the nation inour application of DEI programs
(11:52):
and this month we're kicking offour Face Race initiative.
We'll reflect your racial orsexual background and no
rescuing will commence untilthat representation is present.
We're hoping to have the whitesassisting only their
communities by 2030.
At LAFD, our goal is to let theminorities handle it themselves
, and this year we've furtheredour commitment to our
(12:14):
communities by taking a 17million dollar pay cut.
This cut will allow us to shutdown water collection points as
their presence hindered mostlypeaceful fires trying to express
themselves in their communities.
And fear not those of you thatfailed our physical fitness
testing, as we are currentlyremoving all physical
requirements from this academyJoin the proud ranks of our
(12:35):
nation's first handy capablefire battalion, where 100% of
our firefighters are wheelchairbound.
And remember, if you can'tcarry somebody out of a burning
building, just remember thatthey put themselves in that
situation and it's not yourfault, got himself in the wrong
place.
Speaker 5 (12:51):
If I have to carry, him out of a fire.
Speaker 10 (12:52):
And if you're asking yourself, hey, why is a white
guy telling me all this?
Well, I'm gay.
At LAFD, we're DE-EYEing tohave you on our team.
No, but seriously, most of ourwheelchair battalion is dead.
Join the Los Angeles FireDepartment today.
(13:16):
We're on fire.
Thank God that you're here.
This Asian guy's house is onfire and since I'm white, I had
to wait for one of you to showup so that we could help.
Yeah, uh, I don't really likehow you said one of you, but
I'll go talk to the gentlemanand see if I can help.
(13:38):
Damn it, richard, watch yourmicroaggressions.
Well, can't help why?
Well, I'm Vietnamese and he'sKorean, so you know what that
means.
Speaker 6 (13:49):
We need another.
Speaker 10 (13:50):
Asian Dang it.
Speaker 6 (14:01):
All the streets are brown and the teachers gay.
I went for a walk, got muggedalong the way.
Yeah, I'd be safe from home IfI moved from LA.
(14:22):
California fleeing I gotta getaway.
I wish we all could leaveCalifornia now.
I wish we all could leaveCalifornia.
I wish we all could leaveCalifornia now.
(14:46):
On a dark, smoky freeway,pollution in the air, endless
lines of U-Hauls Leaving despairUp ahead in the distance.
A soft, a broken light.
(15:07):
My wallet's empty.
My rights are gone.
I'm fleeing here tonight.
Harry Smith in Sacramento,gavin Smith on display.
I came for his promises Ofequity and better way.
He said he'd tax the rich andhelp the poor get by.
(15:32):
But now I can't afford gasbecause the rent's too high.
Getting out of this hell ofCalifornia what a running place.
Getting out of this hellholeCalifornia.
What a rotten place.
Rotten place, floating state.
(15:55):
Everything's ruined.
In hellhole California.
It was paradise, paradise, ourparadise.
Speaker 7 (16:05):
California is your natural disaster.
Let's get to it.
Let's get right to it.
Stop moving here.
I'm going to look in the cameraand tell you something.
Coeur d'Alene is an ugly place.
You don't want to be here.
The people are horrible,sometimes it's cold, sometimes
it's beautiful, and people keepmoving here.
Those motherfuckers fromCalifornia, alright, whoops,
time out, time out.
That's not what I was asking.
(16:26):
This is how the town hallstarted.
You remember?
This is what it was just asimple, nice conversation.
Speaker 8 (16:33):
Stay away, stay away, california.
Speaker 9 (16:34):
As you know, our three at-large vice chair
positions are used to ensuregender balance among seven
offices Treasurer, secretary,national Finance Chair and Vice
Chair for Civic Engagement andVoter Participation and the
three at-large Vice Chairs.
Our rules specify that when wehave a gender non-binary
(16:57):
candidate or officer, thenon-binary individual is counted
as neither male nor female, andthe remaining six offices must
be gender balanced.
With the results of theprevious four elections, our
elected officers are currentlytwo male and two female.
In order to be gender balanced,we must elect one male, one
(17:26):
female and one person of anygender.
So, again, this is what we haveto do for this vice chair race
we have to elect one male, onefemale and one person of any
gender.
To ensure our process accountsfor male, female and non-binary
candidates, we conferred withour RBC co-chair, our LGBT
(17:47):
Caucus co-chair and others toensure that the process is
inclusive and meets the genderbalance requirements in our
rules.
To do this, our process will beslightly different than the one
outlined to you earlier thisweek, but I hope you will see
that in practice it is simpleand transparent.
As we must elect a candidate ofany gender, as well as one male
(18:08):
and one female vice chair, wewill first ask members to elect
a candidate of any gender on thefirst ballot.
Any candidate male, female andnon-binary can be elected on
that ballot.
After a candidate is elected onthe first ballot, we'll have
one officer of the three, so wewill not.
(18:30):
So then we will know whichposition is filled of the one
male, one female and one vicechair of any gender.
Our second ballot would also befor a candidate of any gender.
Then our third ballot will bethe third position that is
remaining, based on the tworesults either a male candidate
if a candidate that is not malehas not been elected, or a
(18:51):
female candidate if a female hasnot been elected.
Additionally, pursuant to ourrules, our unsuccessful
candidates for vice chair ofcivic engagement and voter
participation will automaticallybe included as candidates for
these vice chair positions,unless they indicated otherwise
(19:12):
on their nominating statementthat's going to do it for our
california special on the patspeeps podcast.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
Happy thursday.
See you from the BluegrassFestival.
Speaker 12 (19:24):
Pack up all your dishes, make note of all good
wishes, say goodbye to thelandlord.
For me, sons of bitches alwaysbore me.
Throw out those LA papers.
Holy box of vanilla wafers.
(19:48):
Adios to all this concrete.
Gonna get me some dirt roadback straight.
Speaker 6 (19:57):
I can just get off of that LA freeway Without getting
killed or caught.
Speaker 12 (20:07):
Down the road in a cloud of smoke for some land
that I ain't bought, I thoughtit might task it off for that LA
freeway without getting killedor caught.
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