August 3, 2024 • 71 mins
Ever struggled to create a warm, supportive environment for your children? Patti and Anoki kick off today's episode by sharing personal stories about their morning routines and nighttime challenges. Anoki opens up about her positive experiences at Gainesville High and the stark contrast with her son's previous kindergarten class, which lacked the warmth and support every young child deserves. Together, they emphasize the crucial role that nurturing educational spaces play in childhood development.
Switching gears, the episode celebrates the joys of home food preparation. From sourcing raw milk to mastering the art of bread making, Patti shares heartfelt anecdotes and practical tips on creating homemade dairy products and baked goods. Listen in as they plan a future gathering centered around homemade soup, grilled cheese, and freshly baked bread, highlighting the sense of community and fulfillment that comes from sharing food with loved ones.
Navigating through teenage drama and friendship, Taylor recounts intense personal experiences—from a dramatic birthday party incident to the complexities of mall culture in the 90s. The discussion then transitions to deeper reflections on friendships, loyalty, and boundaries, inspired by Jamie Sams' medicine cards and the resilience of Taylor, a mother of four. Wrapping up, Patti and Anoki focus on positive affirmations and gratitude, inviting listeners to reflect on their own journeys of transformation and growth within our amazing community.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Good morning.
Good morning, this is Patti,with Patti Talks Too Much, and I
am here with my dear friendInoki and of course we've
already been chatting're.
We're hoping that taylor joinsus.
You know it never.
You never really know.
You know, sometimes she's hadto work to the wee hours in her
(00:32):
in a long night.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Yeah so we'll see.
I stayed up till 1 30.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
I thought I was gonna be posted this morning, but I
okay actually yeah yeah, I waslike I have this, this thing now
, where I like I go to bed earlyand then I kind of wake up at
midnight and I'm like uh-oh, Ifeel wide awake and sometimes it
takes me an hour or two to goback to sleep.
So it's kind of this, thisweird, just disjointed kind of
(01:00):
night of sleep that I experiencea lot lately.
It seems fine, I feel fineduring the day.
I'm back to school now, yeah itwasn't a Thursday was your
first day.
Well, it's been all orientation,all pre-planning For you yeah,
(01:26):
we did the kids.
It was thursday, thursday, wellyou know it was just open house
both days, so they didn't go toclass.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
They just kind of came through with parents said
hello, introduce themselves andwhatever that makes it more
sense, because it always reallyconfuses me when they're
starting kindergarteners out ona Wednesday.
You know, like the days of theweek start on a Monday.
You know why don't you juststart there.
You know they're doing all theselike we can't teach kids things
(01:56):
in order anymore, because thenkids just learn the order
instead of things that we'reteaching them, which isn't true,
like I learned my days of theweek, but I learned them Monday,
tuesday, wednesday and Fridayyeah, exactly, exactly, yeah, so
it's.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Um.
So so far it's been good, likemy um.
You know, because this is I'mjust starting this new
experience here um atGainesville High and um
everybody I've met has beenreally friendly and yeah, so
it's been really nice.
It's a beautiful campus.
I have this really, really niceroom and I've I've set it up in
(02:34):
a particular way that peoplewalk in and they're like, oh,
wow, this feels so.
It's so funny Because I thoughtabout.
I thought about you and Taylor,because you would really
appreciate this.
They walk in and they say, oh,this feels so cozy and calm and
I was like, yeah, it soundsthat's my jam cozy and calm.
So I've kind of taken some ofthat, that love of setting up an
(02:58):
environment that I loved somuch when.
I had my cafe.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
It's comfortable.
Yeah, it's comfortable for you,comfortable for the kids.
That's what I didn't like aboutMidas' classroom.
He's in kindergarten and theyused like gray wash colors for
the decorations.
Walk past these otherkindergarten classes that had
(03:23):
like beautiful paper mache card,um cardboard peach tree on the
wall and rainbows and all thisbeautiful lit up stuff, and then
he'd walk into his classroomand it was like an army base
camp.
You know, like, like, like,like, like like the inside of a
(03:45):
naval ship is what it lookedlike.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
Why did you so?
It's.
It's an individual.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
She was a fifth grade teacher, and then she was a
third grade teacher, and thenshe was a first grade teacher,
and then she was a kindergartenteacher.
Wow, and it usually goes theother way.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Usually it's like you work with the younger ones and
you're like no, I want to workwith older ones, older ones,
older ones, Her family, herhusband was a teacher at the
school and her mother was inadministration for like 20 years
her mother-in-law.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
So I think it's not for her, but it's something that
she can do, you know.
So she didn't really care aboutit, like you know, like you
should, especially forkindergarten you know, that's
the foundation of these kidsentire educational career.
You know like, but it was.
(04:36):
It was a lot of differentthings, you know, just a lot of
different reasons why I I tookthem out of there it was it only
a month, like maybe a littleless than a month.
Yeah, you know, but in thatmonth he came home with
fingerprints on his throat.
He bruises like fingerprintbruises on his throat.
(04:57):
He got kicked into a urinal andwhen he reacted to the kid he
got in trouble.
But they didn't ever find outwhy he reacted to the kid.
he got in trouble, but theydidn't ever find out why he
reacted to the kid you know, butthe kid kicked him into the
urinal with his pants down, youknow, and and while he was going
to the bathroom.
So he turned around and went tochase down the kid, but he
(05:17):
didn't pull his pants up, youknow.
So he got in trouble forchasing after the kid without
his pants on you know like, butthey didn't say that the kid
kicked him into a urinal.
You know, I had to find thatout from him.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
I mean like, wouldn't , wouldn't you want to be
curious about why a boy isrunning down the hall after
somebody with no pants you knowlike yeah, and he was like what
the hell are you?
Speaker 1 (05:45):
guys, two boys but he kept getting in trouble for it
so he'd have to, like, sit outor whatever.
Well, then another um day he hewas out on the playground and
one of them pushed him down.
He had, like defensive, youknow, road rash on his on his
face.
He was bleeding on his face andhis shoulder.
He walked past 35 differentstaff members and nobody stopped
(06:11):
this five year old because hewas five at the time Nobody
stopped this five year old toask what happened, what happened
to you, are you okay?
Oh, let's wash that up.
It still had dirt in it.
Still had dirt, dirt in it, youknow, still had like dirt rocks
in, you know, Like I don't know,you know.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
Yeah, it just kind of makes you wonder.
You know what the heck is goingon.
Hey, taylor's with us.
Taylor, we were just talkingabout school, you know, because
I just you know I'm back, youknow, and settling in at
gainesville high, and I know Iwas talking about the um
experiences of um nidus, youknow.
(06:54):
For that month for that monththat he was there before she
pulled him out, you know, andstarted homeschooling.
I'm a big fan of homeschool.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
I think everybody should do it yeah I know you
know like you can't reallycomplain about the, about the
school system, if you're notwilling to.
You know, so to take you know,your problems or issues into
your own hands you know Iunderstand that it's a large
organization of you know lots ofdifferent people, some good,
some bad.
You know I don't have theability to, you know, see into
(07:24):
it.
You know lots of differentpeople, some good, some bad.
You know I don't have theability to, you know, see into
it, you know.
And so it's just not a placethat I want to put my kid, and
so I'm gonna.
I'm gonna take him out, and I'mgonna do what I can to make
sure that he's not gettingkicked into a urinal.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's you know that's not cool.
So, no, I don't blame you.
I don't blame you so, but I wastelling um taylor, I was
telling anokia, I was thinkingabout the two of you um, this
week, because I had decorated myclassroom in the classrooms.
It's.
It's a new building, so theclassrooms are very nice.
(08:02):
The whole building is very nicebecause it's new and the rooms
are spacious and whatever.
I love to hear that you're notin a portable.
Oh no, I'm not in a portableand the the thing is this campus
is gorgeous do?
Speaker 1 (08:13):
they even have portables no, no, no but you
know the thing?
Speaker 2 (08:18):
the thing is is once I uh, once I had kind of set up
and I and I kind of went realsimple and I'll tell you the
details.
But what I was sharing with theNokia is but people other
teachers would walk into myclassroom and look around and
say, oh, this is so cozy andcalm.
I feel so calm in here and Ithought about you guys, because
(08:40):
it's like, yeah, that's kind ofhow I set up my cafe.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
How many houseplants do you have?
Speaker 2 (08:48):
I have five so far and see I have windows and they
have these really nicewindowsills.
And so the first thing Ithought I'm gonna put a plant on
every window sill.
So I went and Home Depot washaving a sale, lucky me.
So I picked up these reallyreally nice plants for it, put
them on the windowsill andthey're they're doing great.
(09:09):
And I also decided to go withfabric, you know.
So I went to Joanne fabric, youknow, for my bulletin board
stuff like rather than puttingit like I'm going to do fabric.
You know so in our colors, ourschool colors are red, black and
white and so those are verybold, hard colors.
But I thought you know the redelephants yeah, but I said you
(09:31):
know green, especially like anolive-ish, dark olive-ish green
kind of complements red.
So I I have a lot of that colorin my classroom so I can accent
with red.
But I'm not just doing like red, red, red, because I mean like
I like red.
But you know like when we thinkabout colors and I don't think
(09:52):
like generally teachers arethinking about you know like the
emotional impact of colors, butit's like I really wanted it
yeah, I think they should.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
I agree, that should be a thing.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
Yeah, right, so so.
So I did some, just really you,you would, you know, I mean,
like it's one of my favoritecolors, like this deep forest.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
You know what?
Speaker 2 (10:17):
I thought about it yesterday because I was thinking
about you too.
I was thinking about oh, I'mgonna be talking to to you, I'd
love to take a picture for them,and then, of course, got caught
up in a whole bunch of stuffyou know, and ended up not
taking a picture.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
I'll forget potty's a teacher and I'll call her in
the middle of class.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
I'm sorry go ahead.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
I've been dreaming of those stuffed mushrooms oh yeah
, you're like I was.
I've been dreaming of thosestuffed mushrooms, oh, yeah,
you're like I was thinking aboutyou.
I was like I was thinking aboutyou.
Speaker 3 (10:52):
You were thinking about those Thinking about your
food.
Thinking about your food.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Just so people know who might be listening.
I've been, you know, kind ofgetting into some culinary
creativity and of course I'mmaking cheese now.
And I'm also making ricottacheese.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
I made butter this week as well, and so I did some
stuffed mushrooms with ricottaon top and I sent these to
picture of my, I just gotta keepdraining out my so and I
(11:32):
promise, when you guys yeah,when you guys come over, I'll,
she said getting into hercreativity and cooking like as
if it was new to her, like shedidn't well, she didn't um 40
different types like I'm gettinginto making cheeses.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Meanwhile she's made ricotta, mozzarella, white
cheddar.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
She invented 40 different flavors of veggie
burgers.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
For those listening in case you're wondering Okay,
in my defense, in my defense,it's kind of a little bit like
Enoki with their music.
There's like this period oflike all of this stuff, and then
you kind of, for whatever lifecircumstances, you had a baby,
you're raising your son, there'sall this stuff going on, and so
I moved, I relocated, there areall these changes in my life
(12:16):
and now I'm kind of and I don'town a cafe anymore, so I'm not
doing things on like this biggerscale, but kind of just me and
my quiet little kitchen.
I'm starting to play again,right.
And just like a Nokia startingto play again with her music.
So I do, you know, I startedbeing like, oh, this is a new
thing for me, but I just meanlike I'm kind of coming coming
(12:38):
out again in a different way,right, in terms of and just like
for you and Nokia, no key, when, when you're writing your new
music, it's going to bedifferent than the.
You know it'll still be you,but it'll be like a different
take on things, because a lot'shappened in our lives.
In life, yeah, yeah, totally somy, my form of creativity in the
kitchen is taking on.
(12:59):
You know this, this differentform, different form.
So I'm well, I'm all about theraw milk these days, you know,
and the nutritional value, and Ihave to tell you that I also am
going to be getting in.
I have the stuff for sourdoughbread making Because, listen,
(13:20):
I've been adjusting.
You know, I've had to adjust mydiet.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
I want a little bread maker, so bad.
I love making bread.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
Making bread right, Making your own.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
I love the smell of bread, but you know what?
Speaker 2 (13:33):
But check this out.
You know how I'm doing.
Like I'm going to go to thefarm tomorrow and get some more
milk and cream so I can makemore cheese and stuff.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Are you going out to Jamor or where are you going for
it?
Speaker 2 (13:45):
No, I found a farm.
I found a farm in in Dahlonega,and so I go out there and it's
just a woman who sells me, youknow.
So it's very, it's very smallscale, but this is raw milk.
See, jamar doesn't sell rawmilk, so you have to really look
to find where you can get umraw milk for pet consumption
(14:07):
only I'd only been to thejaymoor.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
That was down by tinker outlets.
It was like their outlet youknow I hadn't actually been up
to the farm itself yet, um greatplace for fruits and vegetables
and stuff.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
Every time, I think about it.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
Yeah, it's like everything is just going into a
new season or something yeah butguess, guess what I'm?
Speaker 2 (14:29):
you know I'm kind of taking.
So I I hadn't really been doingdairy because you know it's one
of those things I eliminatedbecause, you know, trying to
address my arthritis.
But I thought, okay, I'm goingto go back to dairy, but I'm
going to make my own and I'mgoing to make raw milk dairy.
But I'm going to make my ownand I'm going to make raw milk
dairy.
So any dairy that I consume isgoing to be dairy, that you know
dairy products that I've madefrom raw milk.
(14:51):
And now, with bread, I'mapproaching it the same way.
So I am going to be milling myown organic wheat berries
(15:12):
berries.
Speaker 3 (15:12):
My old neighbor used to know his own wheat berries.
His kids knew how much he lovedto make bread and so they found
this.
I have a letter when I had thebaby, when I had my last son, he
made me a loaf of bread withthis that he had hand ground and
um, he had written a letter tome about the origin of this
wheat and how historically thiswheat had been pulled.
(15:36):
I want to say I want to say itwas from scotland or something,
but it had been used and thisparticular wheat was used by,
you know, presidency and byfamous people and you know those
, throughout the centuries.
But it was the best loaf ofbread I've ever had in my life.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Yeah, my friend Ash makes this witch bread.
She calls it witch bread.
It's like a berry loaf.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
It's like a soft moist berry loaf.
With yeast.
Is it a loaf that?
Speaker 1 (16:15):
I don't think it rises a little bit, but it
doesn't seem to really rise.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
It's more like a sweet bread Bread.
It's like a sweet bread, like'slike a sweet.
Yeah, it's like a sweet bread,like a banana bread or like yeah
it's pretty good.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
Yeah, like a banana bread.
It's like a banana bread, butit's but it's very um, berry
based or whatever, and she putssome, some spices and stuff into
it um some herbs.
You know it's like really goodblend of, you know, berries and
and herbs you know, oh my gosh,she made it.
(16:52):
I just had to, like you knowwe're talking about bread, that
was really good.
But when I was a kid, uh, myaunt and uncle would always make
their, their loaves, orwhatever.
You know we never, um, you knowthey never really, uh, would
buy bread, and so every time Igo there, the house would just
smell like fresh bread you know,so you know, what yeah?
Speaker 2 (17:18):
so.
So when you guys come over,like if you come over in this in
the fall, right, I was thinkingI would make some soup, and
then I would make, I would servethe soup with grilled cheese,
with the bread that I've milledand baked myself and the cheese
that I've made myself that's agrilled and and with butter that
(17:42):
I've made myself.
So you know what I mean likewhoa, that's gonna be quite now.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
That's gonna be an experience, right, so all right,
I guess I have to take a tripto Georgia.
Well, I'm gonna like the worstFOMO.
What a no key.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
And you guys call me and we're eating and I'm like
yeah, yeah, but you know I haveto let the cheddar age, you know
, so I want to let it age.
So it's got a really nice threemonths yeah I remember.
Stop complaining, enoki I'mmarking.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
I'm marking the days I've got it on my tongue yeah,
well you know we'll be into.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
We'll be into soup weather by then too, you know so
it'll be.
It'll be awesome.
Yeah, I'll do like a harvest.
I know it's done.
Speaker 3 (18:28):
It went by so quickly there's this little portion of
my tree that's already orangeand I'm like no, stop it, please
stop it.
I I noticed that it'll be theend of october.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
so so we'll right, it'll be the end of october.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
that the cheddar's done Anytime, so we need to have
a sewing Anytime in October,whenever you guys come in
October, anytime in October.
I'm not going to say it has tobe the end or whatever, but
whenever, whenever you guys cancome In October.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
I mean, I could come anytime.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
I know you can.
Art is like I know.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
He's like I'm going to come over today and I'm like
I think that Patty wants me toshow up.
I think Patty just wants tohave a spot to meet her and I
think that I know she reallyisn't all about just dropping.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
I think, patty, she's saying I really want you well,
you know, the is that if youcame sooner, you know I can.
I can serve up ricotta anytimeBecause I, when I make, when I
make the cheddar, there's theway runoff, that's left over,
which is the liquid in the potand that's what you use to make
the ricotta.
So I'm always making ricottanow, so I always have ricotta on
(19:43):
hand.
So, yeah, so you could comeover anytime.
The ricotta is always ready,the cheddar, it needs to age.
So but, taylor, what were yousaying?
Something about sewing, sewing.
Sewing sewing, sewing, no, no.
Like when you you saidsomething about um, it has to do
(20:05):
with coming.
Like when we get together.
Speaker 3 (20:07):
Yeah, and I said it sounds to me like a good sewing
celebration.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
Sewing, not sewing, oh okay I was like what was that
?
Speaker 1 (20:20):
yeah, okay, alright, I just figured out today I just
figured out today that if Iscooted the screen over, that I
could see all of us at the sametime, instead of just you
talking the entire time thatwe've been doing the show.
(20:42):
I've only been seeing who'stalking at the moment.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
No, no, I have to look at all three of our faces
or I can't do it no no, but ifyou put it's, if you go up to
view and you hit gallery, youcan see all of us at the same
time.
We don't even have to do that.
Speaker 3 (20:58):
All we have to do is wipe our screen because we're on
the phone.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
Yeah, I just have to swipe over yeah but, I didn't
know that I that I could do,that I would see people in calls
doing this, you know.
But yeah, I couldn't do itbefore yeah, no, I can see you
guys.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
It's a whole new dynamic, yeah now I'm
interrupting.
I can kind of tell it's greatbecause I see enoki.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
You know her, her automatic lens focus thing in
and out and around, and then ofcourse, and then, of course,
taylor doesn't need it at all,because she's always moving in
and out and around and twirlingand spinning and flipping her
hair and all of that.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
So there's always action and movement on the
screen.
And Anokhi, you could just sitthere and the lens is kind of
making you like.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
I'm still moving, but you're not feeling the whole
time.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
It's very entertaining for me.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
Well, like I said, when we got on, you know, as
soon as I got off the phone theother day, nida FaceTimed me, or
whatever, with my sister and mysister was like whoa, what's
your phone doing?
Speaker 2 (22:16):
And I was like what.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
Patty was just saying Like it's doing this like
Zoom-y follow me thing, you know, but I didn't even know that it
did it until Patty said thatthe other day.
Is doing this like zoomiefollow these things?
You know, but I didn't evenknow that it did it until Patty
said that the other day.
Speaker 3 (22:28):
I didn't even notice that.
I was mesmerized by the zoom in, so while you talked, I would
just be like, oh man.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
I'm telling you just more for my application it's
just the idiot's proof way of ofno, it's, it's awesome.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
and you know what else is awesome anoki is is
every week there's like more arton your wall and you've got
instruments hanging and you'vegot a cozy little couch in the
background of this and just forfolks who are listening.
like you know, a Noki has thisnew you know this new house
(23:13):
thing that she got a house kit amonth or so ago and every week
she's been working on it withher partner and so the walls
have been going up, theinsulation has been going in,
and now she's got this.
Like the first room in thisspace is like her, like what do
you call it?
Your music room?
Speaker 1 (23:32):
it's it's your creativity music studio slash,
yeah, workout area slash.
Um, I've been doing, uh, I'vebeen doing some marketing and
advertising um digital media,like, and I built a facebook
profile for um fernanda for herpool company, and so I've been
(23:55):
doing some ads.
And and um, I did some flyerads for her for the golf course
in lake worth.
Um, they were gonna put abanner in their big competition
thing or whatever, and shebought in to sponsor some kids
for it and uh, and so for awhile yeah, it was like a golf
(24:18):
course we were supposed to do ahuge fundraiser and then covid
happened.
But I love what they do for kidsat home.
It makes me feel so good theydo yeah you know for being, for
being a poshie.
You know, golf course, it'sstill, you know, community-based
.
You know, yeah, and it's LakeWorth you know it's Lake.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
Worth and it's like it's kind of Lake Worth is still
kind of down home grassrootscommunity.
It's this very odd little place.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
So close to Palm Beach Island.
Yeah, it's different than therest of the.
Speaker 3 (24:53):
South Florida.
Sorry to wake up off course forany hoodlum activities I did in
my early teens.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
I only went.
I mean I grew up around it, butI never really went out.
I only went, I mean I grew uparound it, but I never really
went out on the golf course.
Speaker 3 (25:09):
I lived on 16th Avenue when my parents bought
the house.
So at the end of 16th Avenue,if you walk straight to the
intercoastal, you hit the golfcourse.
It's where the golf course ends.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
So we spent many a day, many a night yeah, you
could just walk out wreakinghavoc on the golf course, you
know, my most memorable momentof the of the uh the lake work,
golf course, was I was, uh, Iwas over there walking around
one day or whatever, and therewere like eight sets of iguanas
(25:44):
and the iguanas were all gettingit on it was like a huge iguana
orgy it was like a, an iguanaorgy, was it in the?
Speaker 2 (25:54):
it was like one of those fascinating in the parking
lot.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
It was like they were all on the, on the.
You know, yeah, the blackfences at the end.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
Yeah, so they had to.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
They're right there where you pull in, there was
like eight sets of iguanasgetting it on.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
Getting it on.
Well, because they wanted to beon like they wanted to be on a
warm surface.
You know, get those juicesflowing.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
You know I would have told why in the parking lot.
You know I would have told mysister they're doing hot yoga.
Speaker 3 (26:29):
They're doing hot yoga.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
They're doing hot yoga.
Strike a pose.
Yeah, so that's interesting.
And iguana orgy.
Speaker 3 (26:39):
It's very different from my most memorable
experience.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
I don't know.
I hung out over by theamphitheater with all the rough
people.
I never wandered over the golfcourse area because golf course
area I was definitely probablynot supposed to really be there
that's why we were there,because it was the opposite of
what you're supposed to be doing.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
You weren't playing golf, no, no.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
It was a period of my life where I was avoiding any
interactions that I could withany law enforcement officers.
Speaker 3 (27:23):
I did once fight a girl and throw her skateboard
into the lake.
Why, well, first of all, shedeserves to get her ass beat and
, secondly, she, at the time shehad um in my eyes, um stolen my
(27:51):
boyfriend I felt like this wasa boyfriend thing girls are the
worst when it comes to fights.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
I mean, that's what they say at the high school too.
Oh my God Girl fights are theworst.
Speaker 3 (28:05):
Girl fights are the worst.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
So you were fighting over a boy.
Speaker 3 (28:10):
We fought over a boy.
Yeah, she was, she was a hoe.
I mean, she was like the girlthat surfed with the song
Bathing Suit and we were alllike you don't even have to do
that to be cool out here.
Like my dad was the top notch,like kahuna, of surfing.
I knew I didn't have to put astrong bathing suit on to look
(28:33):
good out there or be respectedor whatever.
You know what I mean.
So for us of you know us girlswho were out to surf, to really
surf, we were like bro, what areyou doing?
Like we, we didn't already?
Speaker 1 (28:46):
like nobody had respect for her anyways, because
you're not trying to serve,you're just trying to be
baywatch.
Speaker 3 (28:51):
You're just trying to be a hot ass bitch on a
surfboard and I hope you get.
I hope you get bored.
I don't do one.
No, yeah, I hope you get boardrash on your butt, cheeks, okay,
anyways.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
Sorry, katie Spinelli , for all that and I'm sorry
about your alien surf skateboardthat I threw in the lake For
the alligators.
Speaker 3 (29:16):
That was my G-rated version of the golf course.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
Dave, yeah, I also got into a fight with a girl one
time over stealing a boyfriend.
It was my first boyfriend everand we were only dating for like
five minutes.
You know, we were at a birthdayparty or whatever, and this
girl, you know, at the time shewas like being really attentiony
(29:43):
.
You know, at the time she waslike being really attentiony you
know and like like instigating.
You know all these comparative,you know teenage things or
whatever.
Like I hate that stuff withteenagers.
You know whatever it's likecomparing and being competitive
and like knocking each otherdown for no reason at all you
know like it, one that's atrigger thing for me.
(30:04):
You know it's, it's tyranny andtyranny is like my biggest
trigger.
So so you know she's kind ofbeing like a tyrant, you know,
and and and um, I went to goinside to grab some food or
something.
I came out and she was liketrying to make out with him,
trying to kiss him or whateverby the fence and like, like.
(30:28):
He was like trying to like, belike you know, like because like
I don't think was like superinto her or something, or they
had already dated, you know anduh, I don't know what happened
in my brain, but I was like fuckthat, you know, and she's
standing next to the six footprivacy fence, all right, and
she's probably five, four, five,five at the time, you know, and
(30:53):
I'm probably about five, six orfive, eight, you know, and I
just took my foot and put itstraight through the fence right
next to her head, like I kickedthe fence out right here, and
was like what the fuck are youdoing?
(31:15):
Oh, my goodness, she turnedghost white, peed her pants and
ran away from the party and Ididn't know her or talk to her
ever again, because she was intamarack and that was in coral
springs you know area you knowand uh, and then, and then later
on, like when we hit becausethis was like sixth grade, you
(31:36):
know this was like 11 13somewhere between then and I.
Speaker 3 (31:41):
I get to high school and all my friends were mall
rats, you know, and I wasn'treally a mall rat because I
didn't have enough money to behanging out tell me you're a 90s
kid without being a 90s kid,and being a mall rat literally
meant sitting on the walloutside of the mall, outside
smoking cigarettes by the busesyeah, that was, that was I, was
(32:03):
that kind of mall rat, I wasn't,you know the inside shopper.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
Let's go to the food court.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
Yeah, I was like I was like, let's go to the food
court and see how long it takesfor them to kick us out, you
know, because they'd be like wealready gave you a free sample.
Get out of here.
I'd be like, but if I just goaround two more times I might be
full Like I don't know, butwhat's it called.
(32:29):
So later on, all my friends areat the mall being mall rats,
and she was one of the insidefood court mall rats, you know,
but got into like the gothgroups and and and and we became
friends later on or whatever,and I apologize for kicking you
(32:50):
know the board right out next toher face and making her feel
like I said you
Speaker 2 (32:56):
murder her you know, you know I probably overreacted.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
I didn't even remember his name by that point.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
You know I never, I never fought over a boy.
I wasn't really that interested, I guess.
But um like I had, like my, myexperience.
I feel almost embarrassedbecause my experience with um
like fights and near fights oranything like that.
So I don't know if it's agenerational thing, you know,
(33:23):
whatever, no, it's no, it'sdefinitely a cultural thing,
it's a generational thing, youknow whatever?
no, it's no it's definitely acultural thing.
It's a cultural thing because,like, well, we I mean like there
were fights that happened andum, I remember the, the, the um
closest I got to um getting intoa fight was in junior high when
, um, for some reason, uh,leisha this I'm not going to say
(33:46):
her last name, but Leisha, whowas a girl in the junior she's
in my class our last names wereonly one letter apart and so we
always were, we always sat nextto each other, but Leisha had
the largest breast in the wholejunior high and the smallest
(34:07):
Isn't this in one of the books?
Yeah and the smallest waist.
Like she was like, you know,like you couldn't help but like
make your eyes go wide when youlooked at Leisha.
All right, so all of the girlshated her, the boys, all the
boys just ogled her, and eventhe teachers the male teachers
(34:32):
and Leisha, for some reason,decided to be my friend and I
was like her friend.
It's like okay, yeah, we'll befriends.
I was, I was very quiet, I wasactually painfully shy when,
when I was, when I was that ageand and just kind of like into
sports, you know, like I playedsoccer and whatever, but like I
was very much to myself and butLeisha really liked me and we
(34:54):
kind of we we hung out, but theclosest I got to getting in a
fight was defending Leisha.
You know like people came afterme because I was defending
Leisha and I think that she wasreally grateful that I kind of
(35:14):
stood up for her.
All five foot one of me.
You know, I didn't.
You know I mean I was reallystrong, but still, you know, I
wasn't really a fighter.
I mean, the only time in mylife I threw a punch, literally,
and this is embarrassing, allright.
So this is, this is reallyembarrassing.
(35:35):
I am in fifth grade, going intosixth grade, I'm at summer camp
Girl Scout, like Girl Scout camp, and it's a two week away camp
and I have the middle bunk thereare five bunks in the tent that
I'm in and my breasts hadstarted to develop, but I didn't
wear a bra, not even a trainerbra, because I hated them.
(35:59):
As a matter of fact, I wouldn'teven, I wouldn't even.
I resisted getting a bra untilmy mother literally dragged me
to Marshall's one day and saidyou're getting a bra, I hate it,
I just never wanted.
I felt like that was a form ofsurrender surrender to the fact
that I had, at any rate.
So I have these, these buddingbreasts, and none of the other
(36:21):
girls in my, you know, in mylittle tent or you know, had
breasts in my, you know, andmine came out pretty, I mean,
like they were, you know, theywere pretty good size.
And this one girl I never forgether name was Crystal, and one
morning she kind of said, hey,you know, I turned around to her
and she grabbed my right breastand squeezed it really, really
(36:44):
hard and I think, like whatyou're like trying to figure,
like see if, like, it was realor something, and it hurt so bad
that I blindly, you know, in myrage, I just threw a punch at
her and I hit her in the hip theonly punch I've ever thrown in
(37:13):
that crystal, when I was 11.
So I'm an embarrassment when itcomes to fighting, but I would,
you know, I would, I wouldposture like it was interesting,
because you can posture likeyou're going to fight and people
like, oh no, I'm not going tomess with her.
But if they only knew that Icouldn't throw, you know, I
(37:36):
couldn't throw a punch so often,like later on, when I would
stand up to bullies or whatever,and and look them in the eye,
you know, and be like courageous, like that they would step down
because they're like, oh yeah,she must.
You know, she must really be abadass.
And honestly, I wasn't, I was afraud, you know.
(37:57):
Fighter like I couldn't youknow make it.
I mean I wouldn't have been able.
I could, I could wrestle and Iwas really strong, but like
throwing a punch, no, I wasterrible.
It's terrible, just I couldn'tfight at all.
Speaker 3 (38:12):
I became known as a bully, but as a defensive bully
like I, I did not.
The majority of fights that Igot into which there was for
plentiful in my middle schoolyears um, it was a lot of you
know, um societal bullshit, likeyou can't hang out with them
because you're the wrong coloror whatever, like it was a lot
(38:35):
of shit like that.
And um, I was always defendingthe little guy and so a lot of
times I would get in fights.
It was, it was not even myfight, yeah, um, but there was
one time in particular I hadbeen sent back.
You know, I had.
I had a really troubled life atthat time and my mom was using
(38:58):
and I stopped caring and stoppeddoing my schoolwork and failed
the sixth grade.
So the next year they put me indropout prevention and like two
weeks in, the teachers went tothe administration and was like
she can belong here, put on acontract to go back to seventh
grade.
She didn't miss anything lastyear.
(39:19):
So they put me on a contractand they said as long as you
don't fuck up, you can stay inseventh grade.
And I was like awesome, Ipromise, and I had been such a
good kid.
Honestly, my grades were great.
I had straight A's, I hadn'tgotten any fights and my best
(39:42):
friend had had her appendixremoved and she had come back to
school.
And these girls that didn't likeus, they knew it and they
caught me outside of the gymbefore we got into the locker
room and they pulled me back bymy hair to the ground and I
didn't even know who it wasbecause it was from behind.
So I turned around and juststarted hitting people and
(40:04):
blessed I'm so sorry, msHenderson my my pe teacher was a
paraplegic, so I looked at herlike what the fuck are you gonna
do?
And I took off.
And I took off into the lockerroom.
But when I got into the lockerroom my girl d was on the ground
and there was a group of aboutsix to eight girls kicking her
(40:27):
in the stomach and all I thoughtwas like they're gonna kill my
friend.
She just had surgery.
They don't know that.
You know like this is how peopledie in a fight yeah and I
blacked out and all I couldthink was um, go under your
locker.
And so I took my locker lockand I just started hitting girls
and bopping girls in the headuntil they broke the fight up.
(40:50):
But I was absolutely 100% sentback to sixth grade and repeated
the grade all over again tolearn the lesson.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Um, but I would do it again tomorrow to defend my
friend yeah, I I grew up, um, Iwas really bullied Like
everybody picked on me.
I was very fit and reallyreally you know active and stuff
, but I just couldn't fit intoany group, you know.
(41:22):
And so any group that wouldtake me I would you know go with
.
And a lot of my best friendswere really really, really mean,
like really, really mean.
Speaker 2 (41:36):
To you or to others?
To me, oh to you.
Speaker 1 (41:38):
To me all the time I was like that girl, you know,
behind one other girl and like,literally like my best friend at
the time, she'd like hit me.
You know and call me, you knowstupid or point out, you know my
anything that I had going on orhow I didn't have boobs, or you
(41:59):
know how this or that you knowin front of people.
You know, everybody in theneighborhood called me dirty
foot or black foot because I ranaround with no shoes on um
which I thought was funnybecause I'm a nation, so anyway.
Um, they used to call me I don'tknow anyway, but, um but.
(42:24):
But I was desperate for likehuman interaction, so I just
take it.
You know, I just take anythingthat they give me, just to be
around them you know, and I'vealways I still I'm very much
that person to my friends, youknow.
But you know we all have ourthings.
You know, for me I have like anextreme, you know, want to be a
(42:50):
part of the people that I careabout.
I don't need like a millionpeople, I just want the people
that I have to be close to, youknow yeah um and and so so, for
like 10 years maybe, maybe eight, eight years, um, every day
just berated me, just sort ofhurt me, you know, pushed me
(43:12):
around.
I let her hit me all the time,you know like, and I never said
anything.
I just was so afraid, you know,to ever have a real fight with
her.
You know that I wouldn't haveher in my life you know, and one
(43:32):
day, you know, it had beenalmost a decade, you know, and
I'm like, I'm, like you know,sitting there and and I don't
know what happened, you know,but she said something really
really bad.
It was like really bad timingon something like I was already
going through some stuff at homeand then we went to go hang out
and then something happened,and I don't even remember why,
(43:56):
but I turned around and Icouldn't hit her in the face,
you know, or anything, because Iloved her so much, I had so
much love for her, you know.
So I just turned and I just hither in the arm and I hit her in
the arm so hard that she fellover and passed out, like from
the surprise of being hit.
(44:16):
She literally did Like I had topick her up off the ground.
You know, she looked up at meand she's like, oh my God, you
could have killed me.
What, how, how, how come youlet me hit you for all this?
How come?
You know?
And we went through this wholemoment, you know, or she
literally asked me how could youlet me treat you like that for
(44:39):
this long?
And you could have killed methis whole time, you know, and I
just looked at her and I waslike, because I love you,
because I, because I would doanything for our friendship,
because I have you know, like,but but we're getting older now
and I can't, you know, eitherwe're going to be friends or
we're not going to be friends,but you're not going to be able
(45:00):
to say things like that, youknow, and break me as a person
every day.
You know, like, boost me up, Iboost you up every day,
everywhere we, we go, you know,boost me up, you know, and so,
like that.
At that point, you know, itbecame like a turning point in
who I was as a person, you know,because then somebody knew that
(45:24):
I could really hurt you know,and then I knew, you know, that
I could, could really hurtpeople, but I didn't want to
ever, you know, like, like, butwe would, we would like line up,
uh, we'd rope out boxing ringsin the neighborhood, you know,
and uh, and and we'd go to go,you know, box or whatever.
(45:48):
And uh, I was only allowed tobox the boys because, because
every time I boxed the girls, um, it was a one-hit knockout, and
most of the time that I hit theboys, it was a one-hit knockout
, you know so.
So like I got this reputationfor being this like really tough
(46:10):
, you know person and I didembrace that for a little while,
you know, but like my, myaggressiveness, um, is only a
direct result of some form oftyranny you know, or some form
of of defending somebody whocan't you know yeah, like I had
(46:31):
aex-girlfriend and we were
walking down in young circle,hollywood, in the middle of the
night, you know.
And uh, this back before I quitdrinking.
You know, we're both really,really drunk, you know.
But like we're walking and thisguy comes up, or whatever, with
a cup of beer, a homeless dude,you know, he's got a cup of
(46:51):
beer, he should be happy.
You know, like I don't knowwhat his issue was, but he came
up and like, started to like,push her or whatever, and then
started yelling at her and Idon't know what happened in my
head.
I just like, like we wereoutside, there was a starbucks
there and they had these bigpatio loungers outside of the
Starbucks down in Young Circle,and I picked up an entire Chase
(47:16):
Lounge and threw it at him and Ilike smushed him with a Chase
Lounge and and then poured, likesomehow he fell and still
didn't spill the beer, but Igrabbed the beer out of his hand
and, like, dumped it all overhim, you know it was like now.
Whatever your stupid you knowthing was, you lost, you know,
(47:40):
your your one prize possessionfor the moment.
You know, like, like you knowand I didn't continue or
anything you know, but like I, Ihe was pushing her and yeah,
you, just, you just stopped himyou just stopped him in his
tracks.
Yeah, and then what about my?
Speaker 2 (47:58):
day?
Yeah, well, um, I you know Idon't.
I don't want us to run out oftime, so I am going to um ask
taylor.
Well, do you want to pull acard today, taylor, from your
deck?
I, okay, are we going to do themedicine cards today, or are?
We going to do I have JamieSam's medicine cards out today
(48:22):
you know, I think they are myfavorite and I showed you I had
pulled my totems.
Speaker 3 (48:28):
Yeah so Jamie Sam's is so funny, like her, it's so
funny the way that she comesthrough very synchronistic, not
funny, um, how she comes throughand with death.
So I did a reading the otherday for a close friend of mine
for her birthday and, um,there's a couple animals that
(48:52):
she has this depth of fear foroh interesting and when she,
when she started pulling cards,we were pulling for her totems,
which is funny because we hadall just had that discussion.
So she was pulling nine cardsand I told her when she was done
(49:16):
, I said I have a feeling thatI've followed the author of
these cards for a long time andI've also asked her to come
through the cards with messages.
And I want to forewarn you thecard with messages, and I want
(49:37):
to forewarn you, um, there'sgonna be a couple animals in
here that you might not resonatewith completely, um and and
sure enough yeah yeah yeah,that's awesome, so it was really
funny.
Um she was, she was in over it.
She was like are you kidding me?
She's like I can't even look atit.
Speaker 2 (49:57):
It was the whale, oh my goodness.
Speaker 3 (50:00):
Yeah, I think that it's the grandiose largeness of
the whale.
It's frightening.
It's frightening.
Speaker 2 (50:11):
Well, all right, so we're going to.
So, as always, at the end ofour, at the end of our stream,
we pull a card asking for youknow what, for the best guidance
moving into the next week orweeks ahead.
And you know what, what, whatcould, what card would be the
(50:34):
most inspirational for us?
And so we're going to.
So taylor's gonna pull a cardwith that.
Regarding, you can ask jamiesams to kind of come through and
um and see like what, what cardis going to be the, the
inspiration for us this week?
Speaker 1 (50:59):
So, Uh-oh, blinkity, blink, blink A butterfly, it's
the butterfly.
Speaker 2 (51:10):
That's a beautiful card.
Speaker 3 (51:13):
Considering we just had a conversation about who we
were as very young women.
Yeah, it's really beautiful thatwe pulled the butterfly,
because we all know thebutterfly represents the cycle
of transformation and itcorrelates to the four
directions and every directionhas a purpose right.
(51:34):
So from there we go.
Butterfly that flutters in themorning light.
You have known many formsbefore you are a twelfth flight.
The power of transformation,I'm sorry.
The power of transformation,I'm sorry.
The power of butterfly to us isakin to the air.
(51:55):
It is the mind and the abilityto know the mind or to change it
.
It is the art of transformation.
To use butterfly medicine, youmust astutely observe your
position in the cycle ofself-transformation.
Like butterfly, you are alwaysat a certain station in your
(52:16):
life activity.
You may be at the egg stage,which is the beginning of all
things.
This is the stage at which anidea is born but has not yet
come to reality.
The larva stage is the point atwhich you decide to create the
idea in the physical world,which you decide to create the
idea in the physical world.
The cocoon stage involves goingwithin, doing or developing
(52:36):
your project, idea or aspect ofyour personality.
The final stage oftransformation is leaving the
chrysalis and birth.
The last steps involve sharingthe color and joy of your
creation with the world.
If you look closely at whatButterfly is trying to teach,
you will realize that it is anever-ending cycle of
(52:57):
self-transformation.
Way to discern where you are inthe cycle is to ask yourself is
this the egg stage?
Is this a thought or idea?
Is this the larva stage?
Do I need to make a decision?
Is this the cocoon stage?
Am I developing and doingsomething to make my life a
reality?
Is this the birth stage?
(53:19):
Am I sharing my completed idea?
By asking yourself thesequestions, you will discover how
Butterfly is relating to you inthis moment.
When you understand where youare, the symbol can teach you
what to do next and continue inyour cycle of
self-transformation.
If you have found the positionthrough which you are cycling,
(53:43):
you will see the creativity ofButterfly.
Using the air or mental powersof this medicine is done with
ease.
As an example, if you've beenfeeling exhausted or you have
asked how to heal your fatigue,take notice of the colors you've
been drawing to recently.
Does your body feel better andgreen?
(54:05):
Could this mean you need to eatmore green vegetables?
This is the type of thinkingthis is butterfly medicine.
Butterfly can give clarity tothe mental process, help you
organize projects you areundertaking and assist you in
finding the next step in yourpersonal life or career.
The main message to be obtainedfrom drawing the symbol is that
(54:27):
you are ready to go throughsome type of transformation.
Is that?
you are ready to go through sometype of transformation.
Speaker 1 (54:41):
I have a feeling.
I feel like there's a couple oftools.
You know that I will pull outwhen I'm feeling a little like I
need a reset you know, and it'sfunny that this would be the
case with everything today,because I just pulled out my
body's light book by dr leemakers and I love this book.
(55:01):
Like this book is amazing.
There's a lot of different,like breath techniques and you
know just different journeythings.
There's a mantra in here thatthey do in seven different ways,
you know, or like eightdifferent ways.
It's really awesome, but it'scalled the bodies of light or
(55:24):
whatever, and basically it'slike inviting light into every
part of of you, every cell,every atom, every breath,
everything you know, justbringing it all together to one,
breaking it all down until youcan focus on that nothingness
inside of your atom you know and, and I love this book, I love
(55:48):
this mantra, I love the factthat they did it in so many
different ways.
They made it you know, so thatyou could do it with you know,
Yahweh, you could do it with God.
You could do the universe, youcould do creator, you know you
can put it into.
You know just about anythingthat you'd like to focus your
(56:10):
energy into manifesting aswhatever your divine interaction
is.
Yeah, but because it's focusingon your body and your energy,
you know, and that energy, youknow.
Everybody has a different namefor what they call that energy.
You know, and I love how thisbook expands into all of that
yeah, it's all inclusive, youknow it's.
(56:32):
It's not, you know, reallyreligious, but it's.
It's divine at the same timeyou know, exclusive either and
then.
And then there's this thingcalled the cue, you know.
So you can do this mantra anddo it three times, and then you
can do the cue like seven timesor whatever which is like a
(56:55):
shorter expansion of this, youknow, and just the buzz you get
after going through it, you know, is amazing, like you can feel
it, you know, on that cellularlevel.
So, like I don't know, like I'mlooking at it and I pulled, it
(57:19):
out and I was going to do theBodies of Light and the Q you
know later on today.
But if you haven't checked outthat book or Dr Lee Victor's, I
haven't been able to find itonline, you know anywhere and it
could be like it was like areally good book he wrote and
then he might have gone in adifferent direction or something
(57:39):
you know.
Um, like, you know, becausesometimes that happens in the
spiritual community you knowpeople have like these amazing
moments of the universe and theydo something incredible.
You know that is, that isamazing and purposeful, and then
there's, you know, some sort ofdistortion after that becomes
(58:01):
successful, you know and you'veseen it happen a lot.
Speaker 2 (58:04):
It happens, yeah, it happens in our lives.
Speaker 1 (58:07):
I did try to look him up online.
I couldn't really find himonline anywhere any of this
stuff.
You know, and I've got a-signed book here, like I've got
a signed book with his phonenumber interesting.
Speaker 3 (58:20):
Maybe you should call .
I don't know, I always thoughtabout it.
Speaker 1 (58:24):
You know, like, but but no, I, uh, I, I I think the
book is a useful tool and I'mpulling it out and I think it's
transformative tool and it's areal good way to get back in
sync with, like, your creativeenergy or whatever energy you're
trying to manifest.
Speaker 2 (58:43):
Well, I think that's what.
That, that's what we're allfinding is like whatever tool of
transformation is going to workfor us.
So you've found, you know, kindof gone back to this book that
has been so instrumental for youand now it's probably coming
back to it, it there's a wholenew level of transformative
(59:05):
power in it for you.
And I think, like we are alllike, you know, returning to the
music that you know you'vewritten, returning to the
kitchen and doing my creativestuff.
You know, all of us are kind ofcircling, you know, circling
around and finding the most, themost powerful transformative
(59:27):
tool for us right now, because Iactually think, like on an
individual and collective basis,we are going through perhaps
one of the greatesttransformations in human history
and um, and it's it's crazy andit's chaotic and it's uncertain
in a lot of ways, and the mostimportant thing for first for us
(59:50):
to do, in my opinion, is to goinward and find those tools at
best help us go through our ownindividual transformation.
And you know, and then itradiates out.
So, I don't know, I thinkbutterfly is is like perfect for
um, yeah and yeah, yeah and andlike, like, like.
Speaker 1 (01:00:15):
Yeah, I think that's exactly where I'm trying to hit
on what's, what's talking aboutthis I mean this this book has
been eight degrees of wandering,homeless, you know, and it has
given me light in really darkplaces and some of my humblest
moments I had this book in myhand.
(01:00:36):
You know that, that, that youknow, I feel like, you know, and
it's and it's and it's made itthrough, you know, even though
it's in rough shape, you know,when you open the pages, the
pages are still real nice, youknow, and everything.
So it it weathered and wentthrough.
Speaker 2 (01:00:54):
You know things, things with me, you know, in
times where I needed to work onme, yeah, Well, you know, the
interesting thing to Anoki islike, when you were homeless,
that book was, you know, animportant tool for your
transformation during that time.
And circling back now assomebody who is, you know,
(01:01:16):
literally sitting in the homethat you are creating for
yourself on your own property,is a very different moment in
your life, and that book isstill a an important tool, but a
tool that will help you perhapsin some different ways.
Speaker 1 (01:01:36):
You need to grow?
Yeah, absolutely.
You're just in a very differentplace.
Growing materialistically isn'ta point of like, it's how to
stay.
You know to stay light, focusedand humble, no matter where
you're at you know, yeah, butthere's a lot you know.
Speaker 2 (01:01:57):
I mean the importance of home, you know so the
importance of home.
Speaker 1 (01:02:02):
I don't think is bringing that light into the
home now that you know, yeah,but exactly because, like,
whatever I have going on is whatthis is going to reflect.
Speaker 2 (01:02:14):
You know, your home is your building it your home is
is a reflection of you, and soyou're bringing light into.
It's interesting that you'resaying that, because I'm looking
at you and right behind you,taylor, do you see this, that
shaft of light coming throughthe window?
It's kind of interesting.
So, um, taylor, do any finalwords for you?
That was, I think butterfly isperfect.
(01:02:35):
I'm so glad.
Speaker 3 (01:02:36):
Yeah, I just have a little epiphany, as I was
listening to Anokhi and you knowI've known Anokhi for going on
I guess a decade now.
Yeah, yeah, fucking crazy.
But I'm listening to you sayall of that right, and knowing
(01:02:57):
how far you've come.
It makes me think about, likedo we really take inventory on
how far we've come?
Yeah, and are we too humble tobe like you fucking did this,
yeah, like I did this for myself, like look how fucking far I've
(01:03:19):
come.
So when we're looking at thebutterfly right and we've got
these wet wings right and thecolor's so bright and we haven't
flown yet, say whatever, butlike do we think about when we
were in egg or when we werecrawling up that fucking leaf
and we never thought we weregoing to get, you know, to the
(01:03:40):
end of it, or we never thoughtthat this chrysalis was going to
open?
Mm-hmm, do we give ourselvesenough credit?
Because as I listened to Inoki,I thought man Inoki's been
around the butterflytransformation for a long time.
Speaker 1 (01:04:00):
We gotta remember that we all are in a butterfly
garden.
Anybody that does gardeningknows that.
When you see, you know,everybody thinks a butterfly is
a solitary.
When you see, you know,everybody thinks the butterfly
is a solitary.
You know, creature, you know.
But if you look at caterpillarsin a garden and and you've got
like a bunch of things you know,vegetables or whatever, if you
(01:04:23):
notice, it's always one plantthat all the caterpillars are.
Yeah, you know, and they're allgoing through these years, just
so we all get to go throughthese together.
You know, and part of thebeauty is seeing it in ourselves
and part of the beauty ishaving others there to help you
along the way to see the beautythat you're, you're becoming.
(01:04:47):
You know, because change of anykind you know seem, you know,
non-existent to yourself.
Speaker 2 (01:04:55):
You just don't even know.
You don't know.
Speaker 1 (01:04:58):
It's with your interactions with the things
around you that you realize thatyou're changing.
Yeah, it's very hard to measurethat I couldn't have gone
through or done any of thethings that I've gone through or
done without you or Patty'ssupport and love.
And you know, I hope that I canonly support and love you guys
(01:05:20):
in all of your endeavors, youknow and it is a beautiful
process of us all being abutterfly garden.
You know being a butterflygarden.
You know, butterfly ball to bea garden.
Speaker 2 (01:05:34):
That's right.
I wanted to just mention, justbefore we let it go, that you
know I just wanted to give agentle reminder to Taylor that
you it has been an Anoka You'regoing to agree with me on this
what an amazing transformationyou have been through in the
last 10 years that we've knownyou, and what an amazing mother
you have been through in thelast 10 years that we've known
you, and what an amazing motheryou are to those four boys, and
(01:05:58):
how, how you've gone throughthis whole.
Speaker 1 (01:06:00):
Now you, you know you it's only made you brighter and
stronger and more fluid and andthe things that you're, you
know, sharing with others andteaching others through your
struggles too.
Speaker 2 (01:06:14):
It's is really amazing yeah, the whole you know
going through, going through um, having a son who you know, who
had, who survived cancer, andthe whole transformation, not
only for up for you but yourentire family.
Speaker 1 (01:06:28):
But you were and how you were holding up all the
other things too, but you were,you know you held it up.
Yeah, you were, you were justwalking the halls and you were
being you're.
You're doing the same thing foreveryone there.
Speaker 2 (01:06:42):
Definitely a point of , a point of light, a point of
light there, definitely, andit's just amazing.
Like you know, watching all ofthat over the years has been um,
has been just awe-inspiring.
So I I feel awed by yeah by bothof you and I think if you look
(01:07:04):
at the three of us, you see thatwe've had our towering towering
down moments where we've losteverything and we've built and
we've built back up and we'vegone through our own
transformations and, yeah, yeah,I think that's something that
we we have in common and, um,you know, it is really kind of
just the part of the cement thatholds our relationship together
(01:07:28):
as we, we see what the whatwe've all been through and we've
been there.
We've been there to support eachother.
So I think that's what peopleneed in their lives.
If there are people like, ifyou have people like this in
your life, hold, hold them close, hold them dear, nurture those
relationships and thoserelationships that are not you
(01:07:50):
know, that are, that are notholding you up and not
supporting your transformation.
Because a lot of times, peopledon't want us to go through our
transformations because it means, well, maybe it reflects that
they need to, they have to gothrough their own
transformations, or maybe itmeans that they're afraid that
they're going to lose us, and sosometimes people are not
(01:08:14):
supportive of our, of ourprocess, of our transfer
formative process.
So it's a it's a time where wehave to look around and take
inventory.
Speaker 1 (01:08:25):
I can hold your hand, you know, but if you're going
to be self destructive and youwant to run into a building
that's about to explode, yeah,I'm gonna let go, yeah, you know
, and I'll love you from here,my love won't change.
You know, feelings never everchange.
New ones come about, you know,and you can love somebody a
(01:08:45):
hundred times in life.
You know, and you can havemoments where you can love them,
but you don't have to be therewith them.
Speaker 2 (01:08:53):
You know, sometimes you have to just separate and go
in Well, like you with that,that, that friendship that you
had when you were younger, youwouldn't have friendships like
that.
Now you know, you kind of wentthrough that and you grew from
that, where you don't havefriendships, where you're, you
know that's not, that's notsomething that can exist in your
(01:09:14):
life anymore, because I'll tellyou I am still friends with
that person and I love her stillto this day.
Speaker 1 (01:09:20):
And you know what?
She never, ever ever treated mepoorly after that day.
Yeah, yeah so it's like, and soit is important that you set a
limit for yourself, exactlySetting boundaries that you say,
hey, this is hurtful, Like I'mgiving you love, you know,
(01:09:41):
either give that love you knowback, or tell me, you know,
let's go different ways.
Speaker 2 (01:09:48):
Yeah, yeah.
Well, this has been awesome, asas always.
Taylor, you want to any lastwords before we, before we say
goodbye?
Speaker 3 (01:10:00):
go fly, butterfly, just think about in the cycle
like this and in the in therealm of of transformation,
really this week, um meditateand contemplate on where you
think you are in that cycle andwhat it would look like to get
(01:10:21):
to that next step yeah, yeah,you can be in the cocoon.
Speaker 2 (01:10:28):
I feel like I'm an egg right now, you feel I mean
you can be in a cocoon and youcan still visualize that
beautiful butterfly that's rightaround the corner.
So you know, I love it.
I love the message of the cardstoday.
You know I love Jamie Sands andso and I love, I love you guys.
Speaker 3 (01:10:50):
You're amazing.
Speaker 2 (01:10:51):
You're amazing, as always, and thank you All right,
you guys.
It's been so much fun.
I love you.
And have a great week everyone.
Speaker 1 (01:11:07):
Yeah, happy week.
Happy week, that's right.
Speaker 2 (01:11:11):
Bye- cheers.
Good morning.
Good morning, this is Patti,with Patti Talks Too Much, and I
am here with my dear friendInoki and of course we've
already been chatting're.
We're hoping that taylor joinsus.
You know it never.
You never really know.
You know, sometimes she's hadto work to the wee hours in her
(00:32):
in a long night.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Yeah so we'll see.
I stayed up till 1 30.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
I thought I was gonna be posted this morning, but I
okay actually yeah yeah, I waslike I have this, this thing now
, where I like I go to bed earlyand then I kind of wake up at
midnight and I'm like uh-oh, Ifeel wide awake and sometimes it
takes me an hour or two to goback to sleep.
So it's kind of this, thisweird, just disjointed kind of
(01:00):
night of sleep that I experiencea lot lately.
It seems fine, I feel fineduring the day.
I'm back to school now, yeah itwasn't a Thursday was your
first day.
Well, it's been all orientation,all pre-planning For you yeah,
(01:26):
we did the kids.
It was thursday, thursday, wellyou know it was just open house
both days, so they didn't go toclass.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
They just kind of came through with parents said
hello, introduce themselves andwhatever that makes it more
sense, because it always reallyconfuses me when they're
starting kindergarteners out ona Wednesday.
You know, like the days of theweek start on a Monday.
You know why don't you juststart there.
You know they're doing all theselike we can't teach kids things
(01:56):
in order anymore, because thenkids just learn the order
instead of things that we'reteaching them, which isn't true,
like I learned my days of theweek, but I learned them Monday,
tuesday, wednesday and Fridayyeah, exactly, exactly, yeah, so
it's.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Um.
So so far it's been good, likemy um.
You know, because this is I'mjust starting this new
experience here um atGainesville High and um
everybody I've met has beenreally friendly and yeah, so
it's been really nice.
It's a beautiful campus.
I have this really, really niceroom and I've I've set it up in
(02:34):
a particular way that peoplewalk in and they're like, oh,
wow, this feels so.
It's so funny Because I thoughtabout.
I thought about you and Taylor,because you would really
appreciate this.
They walk in and they say, oh,this feels so cozy and calm and
I was like, yeah, it soundsthat's my jam cozy and calm.
So I've kind of taken some ofthat, that love of setting up an
(02:58):
environment that I loved somuch when.
I had my cafe.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
It's comfortable.
Yeah, it's comfortable for you,comfortable for the kids.
That's what I didn't like aboutMidas' classroom.
He's in kindergarten and theyused like gray wash colors for
the decorations.
Walk past these otherkindergarten classes that had
(03:23):
like beautiful paper mache card,um cardboard peach tree on the
wall and rainbows and all thisbeautiful lit up stuff, and then
he'd walk into his classroomand it was like an army base
camp.
You know, like, like, like,like, like like the inside of a
(03:45):
naval ship is what it lookedlike.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
Why did you so?
It's.
It's an individual.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
She was a fifth grade teacher, and then she was a
third grade teacher, and thenshe was a first grade teacher,
and then she was a kindergartenteacher.
Wow, and it usually goes theother way.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Usually it's like you work with the younger ones and
you're like no, I want to workwith older ones, older ones,
older ones, Her family, herhusband was a teacher at the
school and her mother was inadministration for like 20 years
her mother-in-law.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
So I think it's not for her, but it's something that
she can do, you know.
So she didn't really care aboutit, like you know, like you
should, especially forkindergarten you know, that's
the foundation of these kidsentire educational career.
You know like, but it was.
(04:36):
It was a lot of differentthings, you know, just a lot of
different reasons why I I tookthem out of there it was it only
a month, like maybe a littleless than a month.
Yeah, you know, but in thatmonth he came home with
fingerprints on his throat.
He bruises like fingerprintbruises on his throat.
(04:57):
He got kicked into a urinal andwhen he reacted to the kid he
got in trouble.
But they didn't ever find outwhy he reacted to the kid.
he got in trouble, but theydidn't ever find out why he
reacted to the kid you know, butthe kid kicked him into the
urinal with his pants down, youknow, and and while he was going
to the bathroom.
So he turned around and went tochase down the kid, but he
(05:17):
didn't pull his pants up, youknow.
So he got in trouble forchasing after the kid without
his pants on you know like, butthey didn't say that the kid
kicked him into a urinal.
You know, I had to find thatout from him.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
I mean like, wouldn't , wouldn't you want to be
curious about why a boy isrunning down the hall after
somebody with no pants you knowlike yeah, and he was like what
the hell are you?
Speaker 1 (05:45):
guys, two boys but he kept getting in trouble for it
so he'd have to, like, sit outor whatever.
Well, then another um day he hewas out on the playground and
one of them pushed him down.
He had, like defensive, youknow, road rash on his on his
face.
He was bleeding on his face andhis shoulder.
He walked past 35 differentstaff members and nobody stopped
(06:11):
this five year old because hewas five at the time Nobody
stopped this five year old toask what happened, what happened
to you, are you okay?
Oh, let's wash that up.
It still had dirt in it.
Still had dirt, dirt in it, youknow, still had like dirt rocks
in, you know, Like I don't know,you know.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
Yeah, it just kind of makes you wonder.
You know what the heck is goingon.
Hey, taylor's with us.
Taylor, we were just talkingabout school, you know, because
I just you know I'm back, youknow, and settling in at
gainesville high, and I know Iwas talking about the um
experiences of um nidus, youknow.
(06:54):
For that month for that monththat he was there before she
pulled him out, you know, andstarted homeschooling.
I'm a big fan of homeschool.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
I think everybody should do it yeah I know you
know like you can't reallycomplain about the, about the
school system, if you're notwilling to.
You know, so to take you know,your problems or issues into
your own hands you know Iunderstand that it's a large
organization of you know lots ofdifferent people, some good,
some bad.
You know I don't have theability to, you know, see into
(07:24):
it.
You know lots of differentpeople, some good, some bad.
You know I don't have theability to, you know, see into
it, you know.
And so it's just not a placethat I want to put my kid, and
so I'm gonna.
I'm gonna take him out, and I'mgonna do what I can to make
sure that he's not gettingkicked into a urinal.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's you know that's not cool.
So, no, I don't blame you.
I don't blame you so, but I wastelling um taylor, I was
telling anokia, I was thinkingabout the two of you um, this
week, because I had decorated myclassroom in the classrooms.
It's.
It's a new building, so theclassrooms are very nice.
(08:02):
The whole building is very nicebecause it's new and the rooms
are spacious and whatever.
I love to hear that you're notin a portable.
Oh no, I'm not in a portableand the the thing is this campus
is gorgeous do?
Speaker 1 (08:13):
they even have portables no, no, no but you
know the thing?
Speaker 2 (08:18):
the thing is is once I uh, once I had kind of set up
and I and I kind of went realsimple and I'll tell you the
details.
But what I was sharing with theNokia is but people other
teachers would walk into myclassroom and look around and
say, oh, this is so cozy andcalm.
I feel so calm in here and Ithought about you guys, because
(08:40):
it's like, yeah, that's kind ofhow I set up my cafe.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
How many houseplants do you have?
Speaker 2 (08:48):
I have five so far and see I have windows and they
have these really nicewindowsills.
And so the first thing Ithought I'm gonna put a plant on
every window sill.
So I went and Home Depot washaving a sale, lucky me.
So I picked up these reallyreally nice plants for it, put
them on the windowsill andthey're they're doing great.
(09:09):
And I also decided to go withfabric, you know.
So I went to Joanne fabric, youknow, for my bulletin board
stuff like rather than puttingit like I'm going to do fabric.
You know so in our colors, ourschool colors are red, black and
white and so those are verybold, hard colors.
But I thought you know the redelephants yeah, but I said you
(09:31):
know green, especially like anolive-ish, dark olive-ish green
kind of complements red.
So I I have a lot of that colorin my classroom so I can accent
with red.
But I'm not just doing like red, red, red, because I mean like
I like red.
But you know like when we thinkabout colors and I don't think
(09:52):
like generally teachers arethinking about you know like the
emotional impact of colors, butit's like I really wanted it
yeah, I think they should.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
I agree, that should be a thing.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
Yeah, right, so so.
So I did some, just really you,you would, you know, I mean,
like it's one of my favoritecolors, like this deep forest.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
You know what?
Speaker 2 (10:17):
I thought about it yesterday because I was thinking
about you too.
I was thinking about oh, I'mgonna be talking to to you, I'd
love to take a picture for them,and then, of course, got caught
up in a whole bunch of stuffyou know, and ended up not
taking a picture.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
I'll forget potty's a teacher and I'll call her in
the middle of class.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
I'm sorry go ahead.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
I've been dreaming of those stuffed mushrooms oh yeah
, you're like I was.
I've been dreaming of thosestuffed mushrooms, oh, yeah,
you're like I was thinking aboutyou.
I was like I was thinking aboutyou.
Speaker 3 (10:52):
You were thinking about those Thinking about your
food.
Thinking about your food.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Just so people know who might be listening.
I've been, you know, kind ofgetting into some culinary
creativity and of course I'mmaking cheese now.
And I'm also making ricottacheese.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
I made butter this week as well, and so I did some
stuffed mushrooms with ricottaon top and I sent these to
picture of my, I just gotta keepdraining out my so and I
(11:32):
promise, when you guys yeah,when you guys come over, I'll,
she said getting into hercreativity and cooking like as
if it was new to her, like shedidn't well, she didn't um 40
different types like I'm gettinginto making cheeses.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Meanwhile she's made ricotta, mozzarella, white
cheddar.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
She invented 40 different flavors of veggie
burgers.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
For those listening in case you're wondering Okay,
in my defense, in my defense,it's kind of a little bit like
Enoki with their music.
There's like this period oflike all of this stuff, and then
you kind of, for whatever lifecircumstances, you had a baby,
you're raising your son, there'sall this stuff going on, and so
I moved, I relocated, there areall these changes in my life
(12:16):
and now I'm kind of and I don'town a cafe anymore, so I'm not
doing things on like this biggerscale, but kind of just me and
my quiet little kitchen.
I'm starting to play again,right.
And just like a Nokia startingto play again with her music.
So I do, you know, I startedbeing like, oh, this is a new
thing for me, but I just meanlike I'm kind of coming coming
(12:38):
out again in a different way,right, in terms of and just like
for you and Nokia, no key, when, when you're writing your new
music, it's going to bedifferent than the.
You know it'll still be you,but it'll be like a different
take on things, because a lot'shappened in our lives.
In life, yeah, yeah, totally somy, my form of creativity in the
kitchen is taking on.
(12:59):
You know this, this differentform, different form.
So I'm well, I'm all about theraw milk these days, you know,
and the nutritional value, and Ihave to tell you that I also am
going to be getting in.
I have the stuff for sourdoughbread making Because, listen,
(13:20):
I've been adjusting.
You know, I've had to adjust mydiet.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
I want a little bread maker, so bad.
I love making bread.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
Making bread right, Making your own.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
I love the smell of bread, but you know what?
Speaker 2 (13:33):
But check this out.
You know how I'm doing.
Like I'm going to go to thefarm tomorrow and get some more
milk and cream so I can makemore cheese and stuff.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Are you going out to Jamor or where are you going for
it?
Speaker 2 (13:45):
No, I found a farm.
I found a farm in in Dahlonega,and so I go out there and it's
just a woman who sells me, youknow.
So it's very, it's very smallscale, but this is raw milk.
See, jamar doesn't sell rawmilk, so you have to really look
to find where you can get umraw milk for pet consumption
(14:07):
only I'd only been to thejaymoor.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
That was down by tinker outlets.
It was like their outlet youknow I hadn't actually been up
to the farm itself yet, um greatplace for fruits and vegetables
and stuff.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
Every time, I think about it.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
Yeah, it's like everything is just going into a
new season or something yeah butguess, guess what I'm?
Speaker 2 (14:29):
you know I'm kind of taking.
So I I hadn't really been doingdairy because you know it's one
of those things I eliminatedbecause, you know, trying to
address my arthritis.
But I thought, okay, I'm goingto go back to dairy, but I'm
going to make my own and I'mgoing to make raw milk dairy.
But I'm going to make my ownand I'm going to make raw milk
dairy.
So any dairy that I consume isgoing to be dairy, that you know
dairy products that I've madefrom raw milk.
(14:51):
And now, with bread, I'mapproaching it the same way.
So I am going to be milling myown organic wheat berries
(15:12):
berries.
Speaker 3 (15:12):
My old neighbor used to know his own wheat berries.
His kids knew how much he lovedto make bread and so they found
this.
I have a letter when I had thebaby, when I had my last son, he
made me a loaf of bread withthis that he had hand ground and
um, he had written a letter tome about the origin of this
wheat and how historically thiswheat had been pulled.
(15:36):
I want to say I want to say itwas from scotland or something,
but it had been used and thisparticular wheat was used by,
you know, presidency and byfamous people and you know those
, throughout the centuries.
But it was the best loaf ofbread I've ever had in my life.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Yeah, my friend Ash makes this witch bread.
She calls it witch bread.
It's like a berry loaf.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
It's like a soft moist berry loaf.
With yeast.
Is it a loaf that?
Speaker 1 (16:15):
I don't think it rises a little bit, but it
doesn't seem to really rise.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
It's more like a sweet bread Bread.
It's like a sweet bread, like'slike a sweet.
Yeah, it's like a sweet bread,like a banana bread or like yeah
it's pretty good.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
Yeah, like a banana bread.
It's like a banana bread, butit's but it's very um, berry
based or whatever, and she putssome, some spices and stuff into
it um some herbs.
You know it's like really goodblend of, you know, berries and
and herbs you know, oh my gosh,she made it.
(16:52):
I just had to, like you knowwe're talking about bread, that
was really good.
But when I was a kid, uh, myaunt and uncle would always make
their, their loaves, orwhatever.
You know we never, um, you knowthey never really, uh, would
buy bread, and so every time Igo there, the house would just
smell like fresh bread you know,so you know, what yeah?
Speaker 2 (17:18):
so.
So when you guys come over,like if you come over in this in
the fall, right, I was thinkingI would make some soup, and
then I would make, I would servethe soup with grilled cheese,
with the bread that I've milledand baked myself and the cheese
that I've made myself that's agrilled and and with butter that
(17:42):
I've made myself.
So you know what I mean likewhoa, that's gonna be quite now.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
That's gonna be an experience, right, so all right,
I guess I have to take a tripto Georgia.
Well, I'm gonna like the worstFOMO.
What a no key.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
And you guys call me and we're eating and I'm like
yeah, yeah, but you know I haveto let the cheddar age, you know
, so I want to let it age.
So it's got a really nice threemonths yeah I remember.
Stop complaining, enoki I'mmarking.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
I'm marking the days I've got it on my tongue yeah,
well you know we'll be into.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
We'll be into soup weather by then too, you know so
it'll be.
It'll be awesome.
Yeah, I'll do like a harvest.
I know it's done.
Speaker 3 (18:28):
It went by so quickly there's this little portion of
my tree that's already orangeand I'm like no, stop it, please
stop it.
I I noticed that it'll be theend of october.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
so so we'll right, it'll be the end of october.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
that the cheddar's done Anytime, so we need to have
a sewing Anytime in October,whenever you guys come in
October, anytime in October.
I'm not going to say it has tobe the end or whatever, but
whenever, whenever you guys cancome In October.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
I mean, I could come anytime.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
I know you can.
Art is like I know.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
He's like I'm going to come over today and I'm like
I think that Patty wants me toshow up.
I think Patty just wants tohave a spot to meet her and I
think that I know she reallyisn't all about just dropping.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
I think, patty, she's saying I really want you well,
you know, the is that if youcame sooner, you know I can.
I can serve up ricotta anytimeBecause I, when I make, when I
make the cheddar, there's theway runoff, that's left over,
which is the liquid in the potand that's what you use to make
the ricotta.
So I'm always making ricottanow, so I always have ricotta on
(19:43):
hand.
So, yeah, so you could comeover anytime.
The ricotta is always ready,the cheddar, it needs to age.
So but, taylor, what were yousaying?
Something about sewing, sewing.
Sewing sewing, sewing, no, no.
Like when you you saidsomething about um, it has to do
(20:05):
with coming.
Like when we get together.
Speaker 3 (20:07):
Yeah, and I said it sounds to me like a good sewing
celebration.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
Sewing, not sewing, oh okay I was like what was that
?
Speaker 1 (20:20):
yeah, okay, alright, I just figured out today I just
figured out today that if Iscooted the screen over, that I
could see all of us at the sametime, instead of just you
talking the entire time thatwe've been doing the show.
(20:42):
I've only been seeing who'stalking at the moment.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
No, no, I have to look at all three of our faces
or I can't do it no no, but ifyou put it's, if you go up to
view and you hit gallery, youcan see all of us at the same
time.
We don't even have to do that.
Speaker 3 (20:58):
All we have to do is wipe our screen because we're on
the phone.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
Yeah, I just have to swipe over yeah but, I didn't
know that I that I could do,that I would see people in calls
doing this, you know.
But yeah, I couldn't do itbefore yeah, no, I can see you
guys.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
It's a whole new dynamic, yeah now I'm
interrupting.
I can kind of tell it's greatbecause I see enoki.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
You know her, her automatic lens focus thing in
and out and around, and then ofcourse, and then, of course,
taylor doesn't need it at all,because she's always moving in
and out and around and twirlingand spinning and flipping her
hair and all of that.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
So there's always action and movement on the
screen.
And Anokhi, you could just sitthere and the lens is kind of
making you like.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
I'm still moving, but you're not feeling the whole
time.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
It's very entertaining for me.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
Well, like I said, when we got on, you know, as
soon as I got off the phone theother day, nida FaceTimed me, or
whatever, with my sister and mysister was like whoa, what's
your phone doing?
Speaker 2 (22:16):
And I was like what.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
Patty was just saying Like it's doing this like
Zoom-y follow me thing, you know, but I didn't even know that it
did it until Patty said thatthe other day.
Is doing this like zoomiefollow these things?
You know, but I didn't evenknow that it did it until Patty
said that the other day.
Speaker 3 (22:28):
I didn't even notice that.
I was mesmerized by the zoom in, so while you talked, I would
just be like, oh man.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
I'm telling you just more for my application it's
just the idiot's proof way of ofno, it's, it's awesome.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
and you know what else is awesome anoki is is
every week there's like more arton your wall and you've got
instruments hanging and you'vegot a cozy little couch in the
background of this and just forfolks who are listening.
like you know, a Noki has thisnew you know this new house
(23:13):
thing that she got a house kit amonth or so ago and every week
she's been working on it withher partner and so the walls
have been going up, theinsulation has been going in,
and now she's got this.
Like the first room in thisspace is like her, like what do
you call it?
Your music room?
Speaker 1 (23:32):
it's it's your creativity music studio slash,
yeah, workout area slash.
Um, I've been doing, uh, I'vebeen doing some marketing and
advertising um digital media,like, and I built a facebook
profile for um fernanda for herpool company, and so I've been
(23:55):
doing some ads.
And and um, I did some flyerads for her for the golf course
in lake worth.
Um, they were gonna put abanner in their big competition
thing or whatever, and shebought in to sponsor some kids
for it and uh, and so for awhile yeah, it was like a golf
(24:18):
course we were supposed to do ahuge fundraiser and then covid
happened.
But I love what they do for kidsat home.
It makes me feel so good theydo yeah you know for being, for
being a poshie.
You know, golf course, it'sstill, you know, community-based
.
You know, yeah, and it's LakeWorth you know it's Lake.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
Worth and it's like it's kind of Lake Worth is still
kind of down home grassrootscommunity.
It's this very odd little place.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
So close to Palm Beach Island.
Yeah, it's different than therest of the.
Speaker 3 (24:53):
South Florida.
Sorry to wake up off course forany hoodlum activities I did in
my early teens.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
I only went.
I mean I grew up around it, butI never really went out.
I only went, I mean I grew uparound it, but I never really
went out on the golf course.
Speaker 3 (25:09):
I lived on 16th Avenue when my parents bought
the house.
So at the end of 16th Avenue,if you walk straight to the
intercoastal, you hit the golfcourse.
It's where the golf course ends.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
So we spent many a day, many a night yeah, you
could just walk out wreakinghavoc on the golf course, you
know, my most memorable momentof the of the uh the lake work,
golf course, was I was, uh, Iwas over there walking around
one day or whatever, and therewere like eight sets of iguanas
(25:44):
and the iguanas were all gettingit on it was like a huge iguana
orgy it was like a, an iguanaorgy, was it in the?
Speaker 2 (25:54):
it was like one of those fascinating in the parking
lot.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
It was like they were all on the, on the.
You know, yeah, the blackfences at the end.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
Yeah, so they had to.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
They're right there where you pull in, there was
like eight sets of iguanasgetting it on.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
Getting it on.
Well, because they wanted to beon like they wanted to be on a
warm surface.
You know, get those juicesflowing.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
You know I would have told why in the parking lot.
You know I would have told mysister they're doing hot yoga.
Speaker 3 (26:29):
They're doing hot yoga.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
They're doing hot yoga.
Strike a pose.
Yeah, so that's interesting.
And iguana orgy.
Speaker 3 (26:39):
It's very different from my most memorable
experience.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
I don't know.
I hung out over by theamphitheater with all the rough
people.
I never wandered over the golfcourse area because golf course
area I was definitely probablynot supposed to really be there
that's why we were there,because it was the opposite of
what you're supposed to be doing.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
You weren't playing golf, no, no.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
It was a period of my life where I was avoiding any
interactions that I could withany law enforcement officers.
Speaker 3 (27:23):
I did once fight a girl and throw her skateboard
into the lake.
Why, well, first of all, shedeserves to get her ass beat and
, secondly, she, at the time shehad um in my eyes, um stolen my
(27:51):
boyfriend I felt like this wasa boyfriend thing girls are the
worst when it comes to fights.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
I mean, that's what they say at the high school too.
Oh my God Girl fights are theworst.
Speaker 3 (28:05):
Girl fights are the worst.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
So you were fighting over a boy.
Speaker 3 (28:10):
We fought over a boy.
Yeah, she was, she was a hoe.
I mean, she was like the girlthat surfed with the song
Bathing Suit and we were alllike you don't even have to do
that to be cool out here.
Like my dad was the top notch,like kahuna, of surfing.
I knew I didn't have to put astrong bathing suit on to look
(28:33):
good out there or be respectedor whatever.
You know what I mean.
So for us of you know us girlswho were out to surf, to really
surf, we were like bro, what areyou doing?
Like we, we didn't already?
Speaker 1 (28:46):
like nobody had respect for her anyways, because
you're not trying to serve,you're just trying to be
baywatch.
Speaker 3 (28:51):
You're just trying to be a hot ass bitch on a
surfboard and I hope you get.
I hope you get bored.
I don't do one.
No, yeah, I hope you get boardrash on your butt, cheeks, okay,
anyways.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
Sorry, katie Spinelli , for all that and I'm sorry
about your alien surf skateboardthat I threw in the lake For
the alligators.
Speaker 3 (29:16):
That was my G-rated version of the golf course.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
Dave, yeah, I also got into a fight with a girl one
time over stealing a boyfriend.
It was my first boyfriend everand we were only dating for like
five minutes.
You know, we were at a birthdayparty or whatever, and this
girl, you know, at the time shewas like being really attentiony
(29:43):
.
You know, at the time she waslike being really attentiony you
know and like like instigating.
You know all these comparative,you know teenage things or
whatever.
Like I hate that stuff withteenagers.
You know whatever it's likecomparing and being competitive
and like knocking each otherdown for no reason at all you
know like it, one that's atrigger thing for me.
(30:04):
You know it's, it's tyranny andtyranny is like my biggest
trigger.
So so you know she's kind ofbeing like a tyrant, you know,
and and and um, I went to goinside to grab some food or
something.
I came out and she was liketrying to make out with him,
trying to kiss him or whateverby the fence and like, like.
(30:28):
He was like trying to like, belike you know, like because like
I don't think was like superinto her or something, or they
had already dated, you know anduh, I don't know what happened
in my brain, but I was like fuckthat, you know, and she's
standing next to the six footprivacy fence, all right, and
she's probably five, four, five,five at the time, you know, and
(30:53):
I'm probably about five, six orfive, eight, you know, and I
just took my foot and put itstraight through the fence right
next to her head, like I kickedthe fence out right here, and
was like what the fuck are youdoing?
(31:15):
Oh, my goodness, she turnedghost white, peed her pants and
ran away from the party and Ididn't know her or talk to her
ever again, because she was intamarack and that was in coral
springs you know area you knowand uh, and then, and then later
on, like when we hit becausethis was like sixth grade, you
(31:36):
know this was like 11 13somewhere between then and I.
Speaker 3 (31:41):
I get to high school and all my friends were mall
rats, you know, and I wasn'treally a mall rat because I
didn't have enough money to behanging out tell me you're a 90s
kid without being a 90s kid,and being a mall rat literally
meant sitting on the walloutside of the mall, outside
smoking cigarettes by the busesyeah, that was, that was I, was
(32:03):
that kind of mall rat, I wasn't,you know the inside shopper.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
Let's go to the food court.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
Yeah, I was like I was like, let's go to the food
court and see how long it takesfor them to kick us out, you
know, because they'd be like wealready gave you a free sample.
Get out of here.
I'd be like, but if I just goaround two more times I might be
full Like I don't know, butwhat's it called.
(32:29):
So later on, all my friends areat the mall being mall rats,
and she was one of the insidefood court mall rats, you know,
but got into like the gothgroups and and and and we became
friends later on or whatever,and I apologize for kicking you
(32:50):
know the board right out next toher face and making her feel
like I said you
Speaker 2 (32:56):
murder her you know, you know I probably overreacted.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
I didn't even remember his name by that point.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
You know I never, I never fought over a boy.
I wasn't really that interested, I guess.
But um like I had, like my, myexperience.
I feel almost embarrassedbecause my experience with um
like fights and near fights oranything like that.
So I don't know if it's agenerational thing, you know,
(33:23):
whatever, no, it's no, it'sdefinitely a cultural thing,
it's a generational thing, youknow whatever?
no, it's no it's definitely acultural thing.
It's a cultural thing because,like, well, we I mean like there
were fights that happened andum, I remember the, the, the um
closest I got to um getting intoa fight was in junior high when
, um, for some reason, uh,leisha this I'm not going to say
(33:46):
her last name, but Leisha, whowas a girl in the junior she's
in my class our last names wereonly one letter apart and so we
always were, we always sat nextto each other, but Leisha had
the largest breast in the wholejunior high and the smallest
(34:07):
Isn't this in one of the books?
Yeah and the smallest waist.
Like she was like, you know,like you couldn't help but like
make your eyes go wide when youlooked at Leisha.
All right, so all of the girlshated her, the boys, all the
boys just ogled her, and eventhe teachers the male teachers
(34:32):
and Leisha, for some reason,decided to be my friend and I
was like her friend.
It's like okay, yeah, we'll befriends.
I was, I was very quiet, I wasactually painfully shy when,
when I was, when I was that ageand and just kind of like into
sports, you know, like I playedsoccer and whatever, but like I
was very much to myself and butLeisha really liked me and we
(34:54):
kind of we we hung out, but theclosest I got to getting in a
fight was defending Leisha.
You know like people came afterme because I was defending
Leisha and I think that she wasreally grateful that I kind of
(35:14):
stood up for her.
All five foot one of me.
You know, I didn't.
You know I mean I was reallystrong, but still, you know, I
wasn't really a fighter.
I mean, the only time in mylife I threw a punch, literally,
and this is embarrassing, allright.
So this is, this is reallyembarrassing.
(35:35):
I am in fifth grade, going intosixth grade, I'm at summer camp
Girl Scout, like Girl Scout camp, and it's a two week away camp
and I have the middle bunk thereare five bunks in the tent that
I'm in and my breasts hadstarted to develop, but I didn't
wear a bra, not even a trainerbra, because I hated them.
(35:59):
As a matter of fact, I wouldn'teven, I wouldn't even.
I resisted getting a bra untilmy mother literally dragged me
to Marshall's one day and saidyou're getting a bra, I hate it,
I just never wanted.
I felt like that was a form ofsurrender surrender to the fact
that I had, at any rate.
So I have these, these buddingbreasts, and none of the other
(36:21):
girls in my, you know, in mylittle tent or you know, had
breasts in my, you know, andmine came out pretty, I mean,
like they were, you know, theywere pretty good size.
And this one girl I never forgether name was Crystal, and one
morning she kind of said, hey,you know, I turned around to her
and she grabbed my right breastand squeezed it really, really
(36:44):
hard and I think, like whatyou're like trying to figure,
like see if, like, it was realor something, and it hurt so bad
that I blindly, you know, in myrage, I just threw a punch at
her and I hit her in the hip theonly punch I've ever thrown in
(37:13):
that crystal, when I was 11.
So I'm an embarrassment when itcomes to fighting, but I would,
you know, I would, I wouldposture like it was interesting,
because you can posture likeyou're going to fight and people
like, oh no, I'm not going tomess with her.
But if they only knew that Icouldn't throw, you know, I
(37:36):
couldn't throw a punch so often,like later on, when I would
stand up to bullies or whatever,and and look them in the eye,
you know, and be like courageous, like that they would step down
because they're like, oh yeah,she must.
You know, she must really be abadass.
And honestly, I wasn't, I was afraud, you know.
(37:57):
Fighter like I couldn't youknow make it.
I mean I wouldn't have been able.
I could, I could wrestle and Iwas really strong, but like
throwing a punch, no, I wasterrible.
It's terrible, just I couldn'tfight at all.
Speaker 3 (38:12):
I became known as a bully, but as a defensive bully
like I, I did not.
The majority of fights that Igot into which there was for
plentiful in my middle schoolyears um, it was a lot of you
know, um societal bullshit, likeyou can't hang out with them
because you're the wrong coloror whatever, like it was a lot
(38:35):
of shit like that.
And um, I was always defendingthe little guy and so a lot of
times I would get in fights.
It was, it was not even myfight, yeah, um, but there was
one time in particular I hadbeen sent back.
You know, I had.
I had a really troubled life atthat time and my mom was using
(38:58):
and I stopped caring and stoppeddoing my schoolwork and failed
the sixth grade.
So the next year they put me indropout prevention and like two
weeks in, the teachers went tothe administration and was like
she can belong here, put on acontract to go back to seventh
grade.
She didn't miss anything lastyear.
(39:19):
So they put me on a contractand they said as long as you
don't fuck up, you can stay inseventh grade.
And I was like awesome, Ipromise, and I had been such a
good kid.
Honestly, my grades were great.
I had straight A's, I hadn'tgotten any fights and my best
(39:42):
friend had had her appendixremoved and she had come back to
school.
And these girls that didn't likeus, they knew it and they
caught me outside of the gymbefore we got into the locker
room and they pulled me back bymy hair to the ground and I
didn't even know who it wasbecause it was from behind.
So I turned around and juststarted hitting people and
(40:04):
blessed I'm so sorry, msHenderson my my pe teacher was a
paraplegic, so I looked at herlike what the fuck are you gonna
do?
And I took off.
And I took off into the lockerroom.
But when I got into the lockerroom my girl d was on the ground
and there was a group of aboutsix to eight girls kicking her
(40:27):
in the stomach and all I thoughtwas like they're gonna kill my
friend.
She just had surgery.
They don't know that.
You know like this is how peopledie in a fight yeah and I
blacked out and all I couldthink was um, go under your
locker.
And so I took my locker lockand I just started hitting girls
and bopping girls in the headuntil they broke the fight up.
(40:50):
But I was absolutely 100% sentback to sixth grade and repeated
the grade all over again tolearn the lesson.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Um, but I would do it again tomorrow to defend my
friend yeah, I I grew up, um, Iwas really bullied Like
everybody picked on me.
I was very fit and reallyreally you know active and stuff
, but I just couldn't fit intoany group, you know.
(41:22):
And so any group that wouldtake me I would you know go with
.
And a lot of my best friendswere really really, really mean,
like really, really mean.
Speaker 2 (41:36):
To you or to others?
To me, oh to you.
Speaker 1 (41:38):
To me all the time I was like that girl, you know,
behind one other girl and like,literally like my best friend at
the time, she'd like hit me.
You know and call me, you knowstupid or point out, you know my
anything that I had going on orhow I didn't have boobs, or you
(41:59):
know how this or that you knowin front of people.
You know, everybody in theneighborhood called me dirty
foot or black foot because I ranaround with no shoes on um
which I thought was funnybecause I'm a nation, so anyway.
Um, they used to call me I don'tknow anyway, but, um but.
(42:24):
But I was desperate for likehuman interaction, so I just
take it.
You know, I just take anythingthat they give me, just to be
around them you know, and I'vealways I still I'm very much
that person to my friends, youknow.
But you know we all have ourthings.
You know, for me I have like anextreme, you know, want to be a
(42:50):
part of the people that I careabout.
I don't need like a millionpeople, I just want the people
that I have to be close to, youknow yeah um and and so so, for
like 10 years maybe, maybe eight, eight years, um, every day
just berated me, just sort ofhurt me, you know, pushed me
(43:12):
around.
I let her hit me all the time,you know like, and I never said
anything.
I just was so afraid, you know,to ever have a real fight with
her.
You know that I wouldn't haveher in my life you know, and one
(43:32):
day, you know, it had beenalmost a decade, you know, and
I'm like, I'm, like you know,sitting there and and I don't
know what happened, you know,but she said something really
really bad.
It was like really bad timingon something like I was already
going through some stuff at homeand then we went to go hang out
and then something happened,and I don't even remember why,
(43:56):
but I turned around and Icouldn't hit her in the face,
you know, or anything, because Iloved her so much, I had so
much love for her, you know.
So I just turned and I just hither in the arm and I hit her in
the arm so hard that she fellover and passed out, like from
the surprise of being hit.
(44:16):
She literally did Like I had topick her up off the ground.
You know, she looked up at meand she's like, oh my God, you
could have killed me.
What, how, how, how come youlet me hit you for all this?
How come?
You know?
And we went through this wholemoment, you know, or she
literally asked me how could youlet me treat you like that for
(44:39):
this long?
And you could have killed methis whole time, you know, and I
just looked at her and I waslike, because I love you,
because I, because I would doanything for our friendship,
because I have you know, like,but but we're getting older now
and I can't, you know, eitherwe're going to be friends or
we're not going to be friends,but you're not going to be able
(45:00):
to say things like that, youknow, and break me as a person
every day.
You know, like, boost me up, Iboost you up every day,
everywhere we, we go, you know,boost me up, you know, and so,
like that.
At that point, you know, itbecame like a turning point in
who I was as a person, you know,because then somebody knew that
(45:24):
I could really hurt you know,and then I knew, you know, that
I could, could really hurtpeople, but I didn't want to
ever, you know, like, like, butwe would, we would like line up,
uh, we'd rope out boxing ringsin the neighborhood, you know,
and uh, and and we'd go to go,you know, box or whatever.
(45:48):
And uh, I was only allowed tobox the boys because, because
every time I boxed the girls, um, it was a one-hit knockout, and
most of the time that I hit theboys, it was a one-hit knockout
, you know so.
So like I got this reputationfor being this like really tough
(46:10):
, you know person and I didembrace that for a little while,
you know, but like my, myaggressiveness, um, is only a
direct result of some form oftyranny you know, or some form
of of defending somebody whocan't you know yeah, like I had
(46:31):
aex-girlfriend and we were
walking down in young circle,hollywood, in the middle of the
night, you know.
And uh, this back before I quitdrinking.
You know, we're both really,really drunk, you know.
But like we're walking and thisguy comes up, or whatever, with
a cup of beer, a homeless dude,you know, he's got a cup of
(46:51):
beer, he should be happy.
You know, like I don't knowwhat his issue was, but he came
up and like, started to like,push her or whatever, and then
started yelling at her and Idon't know what happened in my
head.
I just like, like we wereoutside, there was a starbucks
there and they had these bigpatio loungers outside of the
Starbucks down in Young Circle,and I picked up an entire Chase
(47:16):
Lounge and threw it at him and Ilike smushed him with a Chase
Lounge and and then poured, likesomehow he fell and still
didn't spill the beer, but Igrabbed the beer out of his hand
and, like, dumped it all overhim, you know it was like now.
Whatever your stupid you knowthing was, you lost, you know,
(47:40):
your your one prize possessionfor the moment.
You know, like, like you knowand I didn't continue or
anything you know, but like I, Ihe was pushing her and yeah,
you, just, you just stopped himyou just stopped him in his
tracks.
Yeah, and then what about my?
Speaker 2 (47:58):
day?
Yeah, well, um, I you know Idon't.
I don't want us to run out oftime, so I am going to um ask
taylor.
Well, do you want to pull acard today, taylor, from your
deck?
I, okay, are we going to do themedicine cards today, or are?
We going to do I have JamieSam's medicine cards out today
(48:22):
you know, I think they are myfavorite and I showed you I had
pulled my totems.
Speaker 3 (48:28):
Yeah so Jamie Sam's is so funny, like her, it's so
funny the way that she comesthrough very synchronistic, not
funny, um, how she comes throughand with death.
So I did a reading the otherday for a close friend of mine
for her birthday and, um,there's a couple animals that
(48:52):
she has this depth of fear foroh interesting and when she,
when she started pulling cards,we were pulling for her totems,
which is funny because we hadall just had that discussion.
So she was pulling nine cardsand I told her when she was done
(49:16):
, I said I have a feeling thatI've followed the author of
these cards for a long time andI've also asked her to come
through the cards with messages.
And I want to forewarn you thecard with messages, and I want
(49:37):
to forewarn you, um, there'sgonna be a couple animals in
here that you might not resonatewith completely, um and and
sure enough yeah yeah yeah,that's awesome, so it was really
funny.
Um she was, she was in over it.
She was like are you kidding me?
She's like I can't even look atit.
Speaker 2 (49:57):
It was the whale, oh my goodness.
Speaker 3 (50:00):
Yeah, I think that it's the grandiose largeness of
the whale.
It's frightening.
It's frightening.
Speaker 2 (50:11):
Well, all right, so we're going to.
So, as always, at the end ofour, at the end of our stream,
we pull a card asking for youknow what, for the best guidance
moving into the next week orweeks ahead.
And you know what, what, whatcould, what card would be the
(50:34):
most inspirational for us?
And so we're going to.
So taylor's gonna pull a cardwith that.
Regarding, you can ask jamiesams to kind of come through and
um and see like what, what cardis going to be the, the
inspiration for us this week?
Speaker 1 (50:59):
So, Uh-oh, blinkity, blink, blink A butterfly, it's
the butterfly.
Speaker 2 (51:10):
That's a beautiful card.
Speaker 3 (51:13):
Considering we just had a conversation about who we
were as very young women.
Yeah, it's really beautiful thatwe pulled the butterfly,
because we all know thebutterfly represents the cycle
of transformation and itcorrelates to the four
directions and every directionhas a purpose right.
(51:34):
So from there we go.
Butterfly that flutters in themorning light.
You have known many formsbefore you are a twelfth flight.
The power of transformation,I'm sorry.
The power of transformation,I'm sorry.
The power of butterfly to us isakin to the air.
(51:55):
It is the mind and the abilityto know the mind or to change it
.
It is the art of transformation.
To use butterfly medicine, youmust astutely observe your
position in the cycle ofself-transformation.
Like butterfly, you are alwaysat a certain station in your
(52:16):
life activity.
You may be at the egg stage,which is the beginning of all
things.
This is the stage at which anidea is born but has not yet
come to reality.
The larva stage is the point atwhich you decide to create the
idea in the physical world,which you decide to create the
idea in the physical world.
The cocoon stage involves goingwithin, doing or developing
(52:36):
your project, idea or aspect ofyour personality.
The final stage oftransformation is leaving the
chrysalis and birth.
The last steps involve sharingthe color and joy of your
creation with the world.
If you look closely at whatButterfly is trying to teach,
you will realize that it is anever-ending cycle of
(52:57):
self-transformation.
Way to discern where you are inthe cycle is to ask yourself is
this the egg stage?
Is this a thought or idea?
Is this the larva stage?
Do I need to make a decision?
Is this the cocoon stage?
Am I developing and doingsomething to make my life a
reality?
Is this the birth stage?
(53:19):
Am I sharing my completed idea?
By asking yourself thesequestions, you will discover how
Butterfly is relating to you inthis moment.
When you understand where youare, the symbol can teach you
what to do next and continue inyour cycle of
self-transformation.
If you have found the positionthrough which you are cycling,
(53:43):
you will see the creativity ofButterfly.
Using the air or mental powersof this medicine is done with
ease.
As an example, if you've beenfeeling exhausted or you have
asked how to heal your fatigue,take notice of the colors you've
been drawing to recently.
Does your body feel better andgreen?
(54:05):
Could this mean you need to eatmore green vegetables?
This is the type of thinkingthis is butterfly medicine.
Butterfly can give clarity tothe mental process, help you
organize projects you areundertaking and assist you in
finding the next step in yourpersonal life or career.
The main message to be obtainedfrom drawing the symbol is that
(54:27):
you are ready to go throughsome type of transformation.
Is that?
you are ready to go through sometype of transformation.
Speaker 1 (54:41):
I have a feeling.
I feel like there's a couple oftools.
You know that I will pull outwhen I'm feeling a little like I
need a reset you know, and it'sfunny that this would be the
case with everything today,because I just pulled out my
body's light book by dr leemakers and I love this book.
(55:01):
Like this book is amazing.
There's a lot of different,like breath techniques and you
know just different journeythings.
There's a mantra in here thatthey do in seven different ways,
you know, or like eightdifferent ways.
It's really awesome, but it'scalled the bodies of light or
(55:24):
whatever, and basically it'slike inviting light into every
part of of you, every cell,every atom, every breath,
everything you know, justbringing it all together to one,
breaking it all down until youcan focus on that nothingness
inside of your atom you know and, and I love this book, I love
(55:48):
this mantra, I love the factthat they did it in so many
different ways.
They made it you know, so thatyou could do it with you know,
Yahweh, you could do it with God.
You could do the universe, youcould do creator, you know you
can put it into.
You know just about anythingthat you'd like to focus your
(56:10):
energy into manifesting aswhatever your divine interaction
is.
Yeah, but because it's focusingon your body and your energy,
you know, and that energy, youknow.
Everybody has a different namefor what they call that energy.
You know, and I love how thisbook expands into all of that
yeah, it's all inclusive, youknow it's.
(56:32):
It's not, you know, reallyreligious, but it's.
It's divine at the same timeyou know, exclusive either and
then.
And then there's this thingcalled the cue, you know.
So you can do this mantra anddo it three times, and then you
can do the cue like seven timesor whatever which is like a
(56:55):
shorter expansion of this, youknow, and just the buzz you get
after going through it, you know, is amazing, like you can feel
it, you know, on that cellularlevel.
So, like I don't know, like I'mlooking at it and I pulled, it
(57:19):
out and I was going to do theBodies of Light and the Q you
know later on today.
But if you haven't checked outthat book or Dr Lee Victor's, I
haven't been able to find itonline, you know anywhere and it
could be like it was like areally good book he wrote and
then he might have gone in adifferent direction or something
(57:39):
you know.
Um, like, you know, becausesometimes that happens in the
spiritual community you knowpeople have like these amazing
moments of the universe and theydo something incredible.
You know that is, that isamazing and purposeful, and then
there's, you know, some sort ofdistortion after that becomes
(58:01):
successful, you know and you'veseen it happen a lot.
Speaker 2 (58:04):
It happens, yeah, it happens in our lives.
Speaker 1 (58:07):
I did try to look him up online.
I couldn't really find himonline anywhere any of this
stuff.
You know, and I've got a-signed book here, like I've got
a signed book with his phonenumber interesting.
Speaker 3 (58:20):
Maybe you should call .
I don't know, I always thoughtabout it.
Speaker 1 (58:24):
You know, like, but but no, I, uh, I, I I think the
book is a useful tool and I'mpulling it out and I think it's
transformative tool and it's areal good way to get back in
sync with, like, your creativeenergy or whatever energy you're
trying to manifest.
Speaker 2 (58:43):
Well, I think that's what.
That, that's what we're allfinding is like whatever tool of
transformation is going to workfor us.
So you've found, you know, kindof gone back to this book that
has been so instrumental for youand now it's probably coming
back to it, it there's a wholenew level of transformative
(59:05):
power in it for you.
And I think, like we are alllike, you know, returning to the
music that you know you'vewritten, returning to the
kitchen and doing my creativestuff.
You know, all of us are kind ofcircling, you know, circling
around and finding the most, themost powerful transformative
(59:27):
tool for us right now, because Iactually think, like on an
individual and collective basis,we are going through perhaps
one of the greatesttransformations in human history
and um, and it's it's crazy andit's chaotic and it's uncertain
in a lot of ways, and the mostimportant thing for first for us
(59:50):
to do, in my opinion, is to goinward and find those tools at
best help us go through our ownindividual transformation.
And you know, and then itradiates out.
So, I don't know, I thinkbutterfly is is like perfect for
um, yeah and yeah, yeah and andlike, like, like.
Speaker 1 (01:00:15):
Yeah, I think that's exactly where I'm trying to hit
on what's, what's talking aboutthis I mean this this book has
been eight degrees of wandering,homeless, you know, and it has
given me light in really darkplaces and some of my humblest
moments I had this book in myhand.
(01:00:36):
You know that, that, that youknow, I feel like, you know, and
it's and it's and it's made itthrough, you know, even though
it's in rough shape, you know,when you open the pages, the
pages are still real nice, youknow, and everything.
So it it weathered and wentthrough.
Speaker 2 (01:00:54):
You know things, things with me, you know, in
times where I needed to work onme, yeah, Well, you know, the
interesting thing to Anoki islike, when you were homeless,
that book was, you know, animportant tool for your
transformation during that time.
And circling back now assomebody who is, you know,
(01:01:16):
literally sitting in the homethat you are creating for
yourself on your own property,is a very different moment in
your life, and that book isstill a an important tool, but a
tool that will help you perhapsin some different ways.
Speaker 1 (01:01:36):
You need to grow?
Yeah, absolutely.
You're just in a very differentplace.
Growing materialistically isn'ta point of like, it's how to
stay.
You know to stay light, focusedand humble, no matter where
you're at you know, yeah, butthere's a lot you know.
Speaker 2 (01:01:57):
I mean the importance of home, you know so the
importance of home.
Speaker 1 (01:02:02):
I don't think is bringing that light into the
home now that you know, yeah,but exactly because, like,
whatever I have going on is whatthis is going to reflect.
Speaker 2 (01:02:14):
You know, your home is your building it your home is
is a reflection of you, and soyou're bringing light into.
It's interesting that you'resaying that, because I'm looking
at you and right behind you,taylor, do you see this, that
shaft of light coming throughthe window?
It's kind of interesting.
So, um, taylor, do any finalwords for you?
That was, I think butterfly isperfect.
(01:02:35):
I'm so glad.
Speaker 3 (01:02:36):
Yeah, I just have a little epiphany, as I was
listening to Anokhi and you knowI've known Anokhi for going on
I guess a decade now.
Yeah, yeah, fucking crazy.
But I'm listening to you sayall of that right, and knowing
(01:02:57):
how far you've come.
It makes me think about, likedo we really take inventory on
how far we've come?
Yeah, and are we too humble tobe like you fucking did this,
yeah, like I did this for myself, like look how fucking far I've
(01:03:19):
come.
So when we're looking at thebutterfly right and we've got
these wet wings right and thecolor's so bright and we haven't
flown yet, say whatever, butlike do we think about when we
were in egg or when we werecrawling up that fucking leaf
and we never thought we weregoing to get, you know, to the
(01:03:40):
end of it, or we never thoughtthat this chrysalis was going to
open?
Mm-hmm, do we give ourselvesenough credit?
Because as I listened to Inoki,I thought man Inoki's been
around the butterflytransformation for a long time.
Speaker 1 (01:04:00):
We gotta remember that we all are in a butterfly
garden.
Anybody that does gardeningknows that.
When you see, you know,everybody thinks a butterfly is
a solitary.
When you see, you know,everybody thinks the butterfly
is a solitary.
You know, creature, you know.
But if you look at caterpillarsin a garden and and you've got
like a bunch of things you know,vegetables or whatever, if you
(01:04:23):
notice, it's always one plantthat all the caterpillars are.
Yeah, you know, and they're allgoing through these years, just
so we all get to go throughthese together.
You know, and part of thebeauty is seeing it in ourselves
and part of the beauty ishaving others there to help you
along the way to see the beautythat you're, you're becoming.
(01:04:47):
You know, because change of anykind you know seem, you know,
non-existent to yourself.
Speaker 2 (01:04:55):
You just don't even know.
You don't know.
Speaker 1 (01:04:58):
It's with your interactions with the things
around you that you realize thatyou're changing.
Yeah, it's very hard to measurethat I couldn't have gone
through or done any of thethings that I've gone through or
done without you or Patty'ssupport and love.
And you know, I hope that I canonly support and love you guys
(01:05:20):
in all of your endeavors, youknow and it is a beautiful
process of us all being abutterfly garden.
You know being a butterflygarden.
You know, butterfly ball to bea garden.
Speaker 2 (01:05:34):
That's right.
I wanted to just mention, justbefore we let it go, that you
know I just wanted to give agentle reminder to Taylor that
you it has been an Anoka You'regoing to agree with me on this
what an amazing transformationyou have been through in the
last 10 years that we've knownyou, and what an amazing mother
you have been through in thelast 10 years that we've known
you, and what an amazing motheryou are to those four boys, and
(01:05:58):
how, how you've gone throughthis whole.
Speaker 1 (01:06:00):
Now you, you know you it's only made you brighter and
stronger and more fluid and andthe things that you're, you
know, sharing with others andteaching others through your
struggles too.
Speaker 2 (01:06:14):
It's is really amazing yeah, the whole you know
going through, going through um, having a son who you know, who
had, who survived cancer, andthe whole transformation, not
only for up for you but yourentire family.
Speaker 1 (01:06:28):
But you were and how you were holding up all the
other things too, but you were,you know you held it up.
Yeah, you were, you were justwalking the halls and you were
being you're.
You're doing the same thing foreveryone there.
Speaker 2 (01:06:42):
Definitely a point of , a point of light, a point of
light there, definitely, andit's just amazing.
Like you know, watching all ofthat over the years has been um,
has been just awe-inspiring.
So I I feel awed by yeah by bothof you and I think if you look
(01:07:04):
at the three of us, you see thatwe've had our towering towering
down moments where we've losteverything and we've built and
we've built back up and we'vegone through our own
transformations and, yeah, yeah,I think that's something that
we we have in common and, um,you know, it is really kind of
just the part of the cement thatholds our relationship together
(01:07:28):
as we, we see what the whatwe've all been through and we've
been there.
We've been there to support eachother.
So I think that's what peopleneed in their lives.
If there are people like, ifyou have people like this in
your life, hold, hold them close, hold them dear, nurture those
relationships and thoserelationships that are not you
(01:07:50):
know, that are, that are notholding you up and not
supporting your transformation.
Because a lot of times, peopledon't want us to go through our
transformations because it means, well, maybe it reflects that
they need to, they have to gothrough their own
transformations, or maybe itmeans that they're afraid that
they're going to lose us, and sosometimes people are not
(01:08:14):
supportive of our, of ourprocess, of our transfer
formative process.
So it's a it's a time where wehave to look around and take
inventory.
Speaker 1 (01:08:25):
I can hold your hand, you know, but if you're going
to be self destructive and youwant to run into a building
that's about to explode, yeah,I'm gonna let go, yeah, you know
, and I'll love you from here,my love won't change.
You know, feelings never everchange.
New ones come about, you know,and you can love somebody a
(01:08:45):
hundred times in life.
You know, and you can havemoments where you can love them,
but you don't have to be therewith them.
Speaker 2 (01:08:53):
You know, sometimes you have to just separate and go
in Well, like you with that,that, that friendship that you
had when you were younger, youwouldn't have friendships like
that.
Now you know, you kind of wentthrough that and you grew from
that, where you don't havefriendships, where you're, you
know that's not, that's notsomething that can exist in your
(01:09:14):
life anymore, because I'll tellyou I am still friends with
that person and I love her stillto this day.
Speaker 1 (01:09:20):
And you know what?
She never, ever ever treated mepoorly after that day.
Yeah, yeah so it's like, and soit is important that you set a
limit for yourself, exactlySetting boundaries that you say,
hey, this is hurtful, Like I'mgiving you love, you know,
(01:09:41):
either give that love you knowback, or tell me, you know,
let's go different ways.
Speaker 2 (01:09:48):
Yeah, yeah.
Well, this has been awesome, asas always.
Taylor, you want to any lastwords before we, before we say
goodbye?
Speaker 3 (01:10:00):
go fly, butterfly, just think about in the cycle
like this and in the in therealm of of transformation,
really this week, um meditateand contemplate on where you
think you are in that cycle andwhat it would look like to get
(01:10:21):
to that next step yeah, yeah,you can be in the cocoon.
Speaker 2 (01:10:28):
I feel like I'm an egg right now, you feel I mean
you can be in a cocoon and youcan still visualize that
beautiful butterfly that's rightaround the corner.
So you know, I love it.
I love the message of the cardstoday.
You know I love Jamie Sands andso and I love, I love you guys.
Speaker 3 (01:10:50):
You're amazing.
Speaker 2 (01:10:51):
You're amazing, as always, and thank you All right,
you guys.
It's been so much fun.
I love you.
And have a great week everyone.
Speaker 1 (01:11:07):
Yeah, happy week.
Happy week, that's right.
Speaker 2 (01:11:11):
Bye- cheers.
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