June 7, 2025 • 26 mins
We're diving deep into the world of real estate and personal growth today, and it's a wild ride! Our guest, Brad, has hustled his way to closing over 4,000 homes, but he's also on a mission to help folks tackle their childhood traumas and find true happiness. He spills the tea on how unresolved past issues can mess with your adult life and why it’s super important to face those demons if you wanna thrive. We chat about the impact of parenting styles on kids, the role of technology in our lives, and how just a few hours of the right guidance can flip your life script. So, whether you're a real estate newbie or just looking to level up your mental game, you’re gonna wanna stick around for this one!
From 0 to 4,000 Deals: Brad Chandler’s Wholesaling Secrets
Visit https://www.paynelessflipping.com to learn how to do real estate deals the payneless way!
Diving into the world of real estate, we kick things off with Brad, who's been crushing it since he bought his first house back in 2003. Fast forward 19 years, and he's got 4,000 houses under his belt! He spills the beans on how he transitioned from a full-time job to running a successful real estate business while keeping his personal life in check. We chat about the importance of having a killer team that handles around 300 deals a year, which lets him chill and work just a few hours a week. Spoiler alert: it's all about setting up the right systems and trusting your crew to get things done. Oh, and let’s not forget the magic of virtual assistants - they play a huge role in managing leads and scheduling appointments, but don’t get it twisted; they’re not closing the deals themselves. No way, that’s left to the pros!
As we roll on, we hit the emotional side of things, where Brad opens up about a transformative experience that changed his life. It all started with a Zoom call about helping his son with anxiety, which led him to a powerful session in Park City. Here, he unpacks the baggage from his childhood and how it shaped his adult life. It's a real eye-opener as he talks about how unresolved childhood trauma can mess with your life in ways you never even realized. We dive deep into how these early experiences affect our self-worth and relationships, and how the way we parent can impact our kids. Seriously, it’s like a chain reaction that we all need to be aware of.
By the end, we’re not just talking about real estate; we’re discussing personal growth and the importance of connection. Brad shares insights on how to break free from the past and live a life full of joy and impact. If you’ve ever found yourself stuck in negative thinking or feeling disconnected, this episode is a must-listen. It’s all about finding that freedom and happiness, and trust me, you don’t want to miss out on the wisdom Brad drops throughout our chat!
Takeaways:
- Real estate investing can lead to financial freedom if done right, just like Brad did.
- Having a solid team behind you is crucial for scaling your real estate business successfully.
- Childhood experiences shape our behavior as adults, so addressing trauma can lead to healing.
- Connection with your kids is key; being present can significantly impact their mental health.
- If you want to change your life, it starts with wanting to see things differently.
- Self-love and understanding your past can help you overcome many obstacles in life.
Links referenced in this episode:
Companies mentioned in this episode:
- Express Home Buyers
- Keller Williams
- Gabor Maté
- Larry and Annie Yacht
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:08):
All right, we are live withInvestor Thrive.
How you doing, Brad?
I'm awesome.
How are you?
Oh, man, it's a.
I'm doing great.
It's a pleasure to see you today.
It's been a busy day.
How about you?
How's your day been going?
Yeah, it's been great.
It's been great.
Good, good.
Well, hey, I appreciate youcoming on my podcast today, the Painless
Wholesaling podcast.
And what we do here is we tryto shorten the learning curve on
(00:29):
how to do deals, how to bewholesalers, how to invest in estate.
And it sounds like you're theperfect guy to have on here.
I mean, you've done tons of deals.
I've done a few.
Okay, well, let's talk aboutit, man.
So for people that don't knowyou, give us a short 30 second, I
guess, synopsis, idea of whoyou are.
Yeah.
I read a book in ninth gradeon how to buy real estate with no
(00:49):
money down.
And I knew that I alwayswanted to do real estate because
I could make a bunch of moneydoing it.
So I bought my first house inJuly of 2003 while I was working
a full time job.
Bought six houses in July andAugust, October.
I came home and told my wifewe just had a new baby, that I quit
my, my job and I was going tostart Express Home Buyers.
And she's like, are you crazy?
(01:10):
And I was like, no, I waslike, it'll be fine.
And here we are 19 years laterat 4,000 houses, and it's worked
out pretty well.
Oh, my gosh.
And hey, I'm just curious,with doing that much volume, you
must have to have an amazingteam behind you, right?
Or were you doing this all,you know, with like a couple people?
No, no, no.
We have an amazing team andit's so amazing to the point where
we're going to do probably 300deals this year and I work about
(01:33):
three hours a week in the business.
Wow.
And so you've, you've placedthe right people in the right positions
to pretty much take over thewhole thing, huh?
Yeah, it took me a while.
I mean, we didn't always havea perfect team, but we've got it.
We've got a great team.
Now, what is just curious,what does a structure like that,
that can do that kind ofvolume look like?
Like how many people areneeded to do those many deals?
So we have five or six peopleon our acquisition team and then,
(01:55):
you know, some accounting,finance, probably three, four people
on construction, slash disposition.
And then we have about 12 or13 full time virtual assistants.
Okay, so virtual assistantsare key in this model, right?
Like getting, I'm assuming,pulling the list, like lead gen,
doing a lot of that stuff.
They, they don't do anythingon the marketing or lead gen side.
(02:15):
They just handle the leads andcall back and, and process everything.
Wow.
Okay, but they're, they're notthe acquisitions closers, are they?
No.
Okay.
No, but, but, but they willset appointments.
Yeah, they'll set appointments.
So lead, they're the leadsmanagers of your companies.
Just like you know, initiallygetting the interest and setting
up appointments.
So they're more overflow, Nathan.
(02:36):
So they'll like, if no oneanswers on our, our staff or it's
after hours or something,they'll, they'll, they'll.
Rather than take it up, youknow, a message or whatever, they'll
actually set the appointment.
Got it.
Okay.
Wow.
You know, and we probablycould just talk all day about how
the business is split up.
Right.
And that might be a call foranother time.
But let's talk about somethingthat it seems like from just what
we've talked about recently,you're super passionate about.
(02:57):
Can you kind of go into likethat story and tell people what's
going on with that?
Yeah.
So 20 months ago, trying toget my help, my son helped for anxiety.
I was on a zoom call and thelady said, you have a tick, like
the first five minutes.
I was like, what are youtalking about?
She goes, you blink profuselywhen you talk about your childhood
trauma.
Would you like to come out andwork with us?
Because your son's problemsprobably are cause.
(03:21):
You may be a cause of yourson's problems.
So I went out and for aweekend flew to Park City and worked
with her and her ex Navy SEAL husband.
And they changed my life.
I mean, really, it wasn't evena weekend, it was like a three hour
session.
I came out of there just acompletely different human being.
And we just went back to mychildhood and figured out the stresses
and the traumas and thestories that we as human beings tell
(03:41):
ourselves around those traumasto get us through that service at
the time when we're six years old.
But when you're 47 years oldtelling yourself you're no good and
you can't do this and youcan't do that, and you're not smart
enough, whatever it is, you'renot good enough, it doesn't serve
you.
And it's the cause of mostproblems in this world, whether it's
addictions or relationships,divorces, obesity, all go back to
(04:04):
how we feel about ourselves.
And it's all from childhood.
So my life changed sodramatically and so amazingly that
I've now dedicated the rest ofmy life to helping people find the
same freedom and happinessthat I found.
Wow.
So those two people you met inPark City, I don't know if you knew
this, but I live in Salt LakeCity, so I'm pretty close.
Do you mind sharing who they were?
(04:25):
It's Larry and Annie Yacht.
Wow.
So ex Navy seal, huh?
Yep.
Did a lot of what he had tosay contribute to his ex Navy seal,
like, being in the.
I guess, in that position.
Did that contribute to, like,his mindset and why he believed that
and taught you, or did that.
Is it just a different thing?
No, I think he's just a reallysharp, smart individual, and he just.
(04:47):
He figured this out over theyears working with people.
He worked with a lot of CEOs,and he'd come into their companies
to help them, and he's like,wait, the problem isn't with your
company.
The problem is how you think.
So he literally designed thisaround that.
If your business, I mean, ifanything is in chaos in your life,
whether it's you don't go tothe gym, or you weigh too much, or
your marriage sucks, or yourbusiness is in chaos, or, you know,
(05:10):
always up and down starvingfor cash, you've got to look at,
why is that happening?
You got to go to the source ofthe problem.
The source of the problem is typically.
Always happens between birthand 10 years old, where your brain
is programmed and people arelike, how can that be?
Well, your subconscious mindnever forgets anything.
And your subconscious mind iswhat rules 80 to 90% of your behavior
(05:33):
on a daily basis.
A daily basis.
So you're doing all thisbehavior and activity, and most people
don't even know why they'redoing it.
They're driven by thisprogramming from when they were six
years old.
Well, I mean, that kind ofmakes me feel like if everything
has to go between your birthand 10 years old, then maybe people
should focus more on figuringout what happened in that time.
(05:54):
Right.
Well, they should.
Again, it's the cause of.
I can pretty much traceanything bad in anyone's life probably
back to that time period oflife where their brain was being
formed.
Wow.
So.
So I watched a podcast withJoe Rogan.
I think he had a medicalexpert on there and how he was saying
that, like, a lot of the ADHDand a lot of these problems stem
(06:14):
from, like, the way you were raised.
In that time period andliving, I guess, in anxiety.
Right?
Like is, do you, is thatsomething that you've even heard
of or.
This is, I've got.
This is likely the guy.
Gabriel.
That's him.
Yeah, Gabriel.
He's the man, dude.
He's a man.
He's one of my mentors.
I studied under him.
No way.
That guy, that guy was just a genius.
(06:36):
Incredible.
So here's, here's what he says.
This is a 600 page book.
I just showed you 600 pages ofsaying that every health disease
can be traced back tochildhood, unresolved childhood trauma
and adhd.
Let's just use as an example.
ADHD is a child's mind sayingsomething's really bad happened to
(06:56):
me at 6.
So what do I do?
Your brain does what it'ssupposed to do.
It checks out, it disassociates.
So then nothing ever changesbecause your subconscious brain doesn't
know time.
Right?
So at 17 or 27 or whatever itis, you're still disassociating.
So there's no.
He, he, he claims, and he's adoctor, he's been doing this for
40 years, that, that there'sno such thing as ADD or ADHD.
(07:18):
And you don't need medicationbecause it never solves anything.
It is a disease of childhoodthat all you have to do is go back
and figure out when it startedand reprogram your mind around the
truth and not the untruth.
So amazing you saw that.
Because this guy is, he is, heis so great.
Cancer, MS, eczema, like onand on and on things are.
(07:39):
When your body is under stressfor a long time, it breaks down physically
and that's why illnesses occur.
So let's, let's talk about that.
So obviously if I, if I have a.
I don't have any kids, right?
But if I, when I have a kid,from what Gabriel was saying, from
what I understood was you needto be attentive, you need to be present
with your children, you needto be there to, to, I guess, support
(08:02):
them.
Right.
And if you don't, then there'sthat stress level.
Is that correct?
Is that like you need to spendmore time with the people you love,
especially in that 1 to 10 age range?
Yeah, I do a daily video everysingle day.
And one of the videos that gotthe most views was quoting him that
basically said every problemin a person's life and every suffering
can be down to the unmet, canbe traced back to unmet childhood
(08:25):
needs.
So a lot of people, when theyThink about trauma.
They're like, well, I wasn'tbullied by my neighbor.
I wasn't molested.
I wasn't sexually assaulted.
Well, that's a big T trauma.
This is his words.
Little T trauma is you can becompletely messed up.
The rest of your little sisterwas born.
You thought your parents lovedher more than you, so.
(08:45):
Absolutely, 100% he's right.
Shoot.
So is that.
Do you have.
If you're.
If you're met.
It doesn't have to be huge.
It can be.
Yeah.
Do you have kids in that ageright now?
I have kids, Yep.
Okay.
Is that.
Is that something.
You're kidding.
Sorry.
Go ahead.
Yes.
So the reason my son has.
The reason my son has anxietyis because the way that I parented
(09:06):
him and the way that hismother parented him before I made
this transformation.
So, yeah, I was.
I've been a single dad for 11 years.
I did everything for my son,everything for my son and daughter.
But yet, even though I wasattentive and loving and affectionate,
my childhood pain was puttingundue pressure on him to be, like
a worst golfer.
And that gave him anxiety.
(09:28):
Shoot, that's wild, man.
This has given me a lot tothink about.
Right.
With raising children and alsoaddressing your past, anybody's past,
child traumas.
Right.
Yeah.
Nathan.
I mean, the thing aboutchildren that's really important
is if you are listening tothis and your children or child have
behavioral issues, the firstplace you should look is in the mirror.
(09:49):
Because you 100% are the causeof your.
Your child.
100% may be a stretch.
99%, 98%.
If your child has behavioralissues, it's because of you.
And Gabor wrote a book withhis son, who's also in the business.
It's called don't lose hold ofyour child or something like that.
Keep your child.
And it's all about how everybehavioral problem that a child has
(10:13):
is around lack of connectionwith their parent.
And punishments do no good,like hitting a child.
Oh, my God.
The worst thing you could ever do.
People are like, oh, you needto spank your kid just so they'll
respect you.
No, no, no, no, no.
That's the worst thing you canever do, because the one person in
that child's life that'ssupposed to protect them, they're
going to inflict harm,violence, and shame on that child.
(10:35):
And that's going to fix the child.
That's going to help them.
No, that's going to screw thechild up.
So if you're spanking yourchildren Thinking you're doing something
good, you're definitely not.
Oh my gosh.
Well, what's your opinion onthe way society is right now and
how, how people are very likedistracted right now with technology
and not really being present?
(10:55):
Do you feel like there's goingto be more issues with kids growing
up in this day and age?
There are more issues, not arethere going to be.
I mean, the 15 to 25 year oldage range is the probably the most
troubled 10 year age rangethat exists right now.
And it's because of thedevices, it's because of lack of
connection.
So all of our problems when wehave that childhood trauma, all it's
(11:16):
really doing is taking us outof connection with ourselves.
So lack of connection withyourself is terrible.
Lack of connection with otherpeople is terrible.
So the fact that you can noworder food from your house, work
from home, get your laundrydone, you never have to leave, right?
So it's creating a further disconnection.
And then the technology ofthese phones is they want to keep
you constantly there, so theydo things to keep your brain constantly.
(11:40):
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go,go, go.
Your brain was supposed to bein, go back to a thousand years ago
when we were living on theplains or in caves even further back.
There wasn't danger all the time.
You would stay around, you'dgo hunt, you'd have like 20% where
your brain is in an activestate like a fight or flight, and
80% the other time it's reversed.
Now it's like most humanbeings spend 80% of time in like
(12:03):
this super jacked up fight orflight mode and it's not good at
all.
What's your solution?
The solution is connection.
The solution to everything istake a look at your childhood and
figure out those traumatictimes you went through and then reverse
those faults and turn theminto the truth and live by the truth.
(12:23):
For children, it's gettingoutside, it's having their parents
listen to them.
Gabor says the child has to beseen, heard and understood.
So if you're a parent, youshould be doing that.
You should be forcing yourkids to get, get out of the house,
off of their gaming, intonature, into sports, into biking,
whatever it is, just get outof the house and connect with other
human beings.
(12:43):
Shoot.
Well, do you feel like movingto a remote area where there's bad
service and you know, theyhave to go out in the woods?
Do you feel like that's a good idea?
I mean, I don't know about that.
That might, that might be alittle Extreme.
Well, I'll tell you this.
My wife is from Canada andshe's two hours north of Toronto.
And.
And whenever I go there, it'slike my happiest time.
(13:04):
They live in, like, what'scalled cottage country.
It's like out in the middleof, you know, the fields, and it's
just so fun, you know,everybody there is just like, slower
pace.
They're just enjoying theirice rink hockey, you know, that.
The homemade stuff.
It just seems like connectionis more important there.
And then in Salt Lake City,Utah or wherever, when you go in
cities, it's like boom, boom,boom, boom.
(13:24):
You know, it's.
It's just a go, go, go.
So are you saying that thelifestyle, maybe even capitalism
that's driving this is goingto be a bad.
It's just too much.
So look, I think that ifpeople got the right help, I mean,
you can.
It's.
It's not your environment so much.
It's your thought process, howyou think, and then, you know, it's
(13:46):
not your outside environment.
It's not what's going on inthe city as much as what's going
on in your own house.
Are you stuck in your room allday playing video games all day?
Yeah, that's really, really bad.
That can happen in the farm orthat can happen in, you know, the
Bronx.
It doesn't matter.
So just get out and be withnature and be with people.
So about the child, addressingthe childhood trauma, like, how would
you suggest someone go aboutthat if they're watching this?
(14:08):
Like, do they reach out to you?
Do they reach out to a therapist?
How does that work?
I mean, either, either, allthe above, really.
Just go get someone.
When you look for someone, 83%of Americans identify as not being
very happy.
So that probably puts 83% oflife coaches and therapists in that
same bucket.
Right?
So I would ask them questionsaround, what does their life look
(14:28):
like?
What does their relationshipslook like?
Have they made the transition?
Are they happy or are theyconstantly in a fight or flight mode?
Are they constantly stressed?
Do they overeat or do they do drugs?
Are they addicted to something?
So it's really hard findingsomeone who's done where you're trying
to go.
I've made this transition.
I'm as happy and as free asI've ever been in my life.
Life is amazing for me, great relationships.
(14:50):
So certainly people can cometo me.
If they don't, though, justknow that no matter what situation
you're in, if you'resuffering, life doesn't have to be
about suffering, There is abetter way.
And the method that I use is aquick method.
Like I have seen crazy, crazytransformation in a matter of like
three or four hours with someof my clients.
You don't need to go to a talktherapist and spend five years doing
(15:12):
this.
You just don't need to do it.
There is a better way.
So if you're suffering, knowthat if you really want to change
and you're willing to seethings from a different perspective,
like your life can radicallychange in a matter of hours.
Wow.
Do you believe I have adhd?
Right?
Whether it's figment in myimagination, whatever, how would
I conquer that?
(15:34):
So first of all, you shouldread Gabor's book because he's got
an entire book dedicated to it.
Honestly, working with someonelike me, because your ADHD is just.
You're in like a fight orflight mode.
So something happened in yourchildhood, likely that got you to
disassociate and get out ofthe present moment.
And because you haven't donethe work to separate yourself from
(15:55):
your adult and childlike life,you still live in the past.
That's what trauma does.
It takes you out of thepresent and into the past.
So you're living in the past.
So what we do is through thiswork that I do, we get you into the
present.
And that's how true happinessis, Right?
Heaven on earth is right here,right now.
If you're not worried aboutwhat's going to happen tomorrow and
you're not letting your memoryruin yesterday, then you're happy.
(16:19):
So how much do you think aboutmoney now that you've made this transformation?
How much does money is moneyon your mind?
So way less than it wasbecause money was the vehicle to
prove my worth.
So this coaching company thatI formed six months ago is the first
business venture I've everstarted in my life where I didn't
think about how am I going tomake a ton of money?
My focus now is how do I makea lot of impact?
(16:42):
And that's the same focus Ihave in my express home buyers fix
and flip business.
I've now changed to how can Iimpact my employees?
How can I impact my sellers?
How can we impact ourinvestors in a positive way?
Instead of focusing on money,I'm focusing on impact.
And we're doing amazing.
So I think if more peoplewould focus on making an impact in
people's lives, they wouldmake more money than ever.
(17:05):
I started a Keller Williamsteam in 2008 to try to be the first
team to Sell a billion dollarsin a year.
So I was focused on the top line.
Why?
Because if I sold a billiondollars, maybe I'd be worthy of something.
Had I.
Had I gone in and said, hey,I'm going to construct the best team
with the best service thatKeller Williams ever had, I would
have had a way better chanceof getting to a billion dollars and
(17:27):
actually making money than Idid trying to shoot for a billion
dollars.
It was just silly.
Yeah.
Wow.
So let me ask you this.
If after coming to thisrealization that you don't, this
is what is true happiness,what is the number one thing that
you've gotten rid of in yourlife that you used to do that you
feel like has made a giantimpact, like a habit or something?
(17:48):
Easy answer.
It's just my thinking.
I started living in the truth.
So for 47 years, mysubconscious brain was telling me,
you're not worthy.
You've got to go prove yourself.
And I woke up that day in ParkCity or got off the out of the session
and I'm like, wait, wait, Idon't have to prove anything to anyone
anymore.
(18:08):
Oh my gosh, like a weight justgot lifted off my chest.
It was amazing.
So that's the one thing, andthat's the one thing that everyone
who's suffering does is theydon't live in the truth.
They live about these liesabout who they are, and that's not
who they really are.
Everyone at their essence isan amazing human being.
They may not behave as a matehuman being, but the reason they
don't behave as an amazinghuman being is, is because they tell
(18:30):
themselves our prisons arefull of people.
They weren't born a prisoner.
They weren't born a criminal.
They were born a beautifulchild that happened to be corrupted
through their parents.
Through their parents poor beliefs.
Well, yeah, I mean, that's.
From what you're saying, itmakes complete sense.
Let me ask you, does religiontake any part into this equation
(18:52):
or is this not religious at all?
So at the core of it, there isno religion involved.
I'm a believer in God.
I've become closer to Godthrough this process.
Do you need to be a believerin God to make this work?
No, I think it's reallyimportant to think that there's a
universe out there and thatthere's a higher power of some way,
(19:12):
shape or form.
There are more grains of sandon every beach on the Earth.
There are more stars in thesky than grains of sand.
Our universe, you can't evenfathom how big it is.
So there's a lot more outthere that we don't know and we will
never know.
Maybe we will.
But yeah, if you believe inhigher power or that there's a greater
universe or that there's agreater good going on, it's going
(19:34):
to help a lot in your journey.
Is this new knowledge to the,I guess, scientific community or
in general that they're one to10 years old has determines disease,
your mindset, all that.
Is that new?
Well, that part, yes.
I'm sorry, that part is, is, Ithink is newer and newer.
Yes.
It is the fact that the, thestress, although you know what I
(19:54):
say it's newer.
When all the books I've read,people have been talking about this
for 60 to 80 years.
It's just, it's never gone anywhere.
Because think about this.
If I go to the doctor, doesthe doctor ever ask me about, like,
well, are you under stress orwhat was your childhood like?
No, they're like, let's,let's, this is what Western medicine
is all about.
Let me label you, diagnoseyou, and then give you a drug.
(20:17):
So if they can do it throughtalk therapy, where's the money?
Do you know how much pharmaceutical.
You go and look at everypharmaceutical drug that's out there
and 90% plus could be tracedback to the stress that you've had
from childhood trauma.
So it's one of those things inlife where you just have to follow
the money trail and you cansee why it's not talked about more.
But thanks to Gabor, he'stalking about it and he's getting
(20:38):
some huge press from his book.
Did Gabor, is that, did hehelp you along this journey or was
it mainly the seal and thelady in Park City?
So I've been fortunate to workunder like 3 or 4 of what I think
some of the best people in the business.
So he was just one of the people.
Wow.
How'd you, how'd you getlinked up with that?
Like, that's, that's acompletely different industry than
home buying.
Like, is it just a differentcircle you're running in or how,
(20:59):
how did that happen?
I mean, it's just through,like, I, I've probably read 40 books
and spend a thousand to 2,000hours on this since, since my transformation
last February.
It's all I do.
It's, it's all I do is, isjust trying to become the best so
that I can impact and have thebiggest impact on the most people.
Do you believe that this issomething that the average person
can do?
(21:19):
They can change or do you feellike this is like it takes a certain
person, like skills, not skillset, but like, I don't know, high
level individual to be able to change.
I guess what happened withinthe last, you know, one to 10 years
when they were born.
Here are the only people thatcan truly change.
Number one, they've got towant to change.
And number two, they have,they have to have a willingness to
(21:40):
see things from a different perspective.
So anyone in the world, ifthey have those two characteristics
can change.
Wow.
So it's not, it's not likeyou, you have to achieve a certain,
you know, intelligence or IQor ability to like do this.
Anybody can do it.
Anybody can do it.
Wow.
You got me thinking.
You know, usually I'm prettyupbeat, but I'm like, you got me.
(22:00):
You probably have this effecton a lot of your people you work,
you talk to.
Well, I do.
I mean it gets you thinking, right?
Because the only time you canchange is when you have awareness
of something and people mightbe like, well, I don't know what
this self love stuff he'stalking about, I don't know if I
have like compatible.
What does that even mean?
Well, it means just that, itmeans that you love yourself.
(22:21):
And so many people I talk tosay, well I love myself.
And I go, well, do you?
Let's do a little test.
Are you constantly triggered?
Are you constantly in a stateof like anger, depression?
Do you find yourself judgingpeople all the time?
Do you judge yourself all the time?
Do you have self destructive behaviors?
Do you eat too much, drink toomuch, smoke too much?
What are your relationships like?
Are you in a deeply connectedrelationship or have you gone from
(22:44):
are you in a shitty relationship?
And is every relationship beenlike boom boom bo boom.
If you answer yes to any ofthose questions, you have some component
of lacking self love and self compassion.
And if that's the case, everyarea of your life is negatively affected.
Wow.
You know, because I thinkabout my childhood like just, you
know, like most people, Iwould assume that their parents tried
(23:04):
their best, but they weren'tthe best.
Right.
Like it just happens.
Right.
They neglect hitting orwhatever it happens.
But I thought, you know, justbefore talking, I just thought that
was life and you just got aman up and just go through and do
your best.
And I have no ill will towardsthe parents.
I think they're amazing.
But I mean if you're talkingabout issues from 1 to 10, then I'm
(23:25):
assuming I have quite a bitlike anybody else.
Yeah.
And again, so, so I would Oncewe're off the call, I would just
look at your, look at yourlife and look at all the things that
didn't go right.
Relationships, your health,your, you know, how are you in a
day?
Are you, are you upset?
Do you get trigger a lot?
All of those things will besign that you have, you have work
to do.
(23:46):
And if you're willing to dothe work, the other side of where
you're at is, is magical.
Absolutely magical.
Well, I'm curious, who doesn'tneed work?
I mean, who have you ever metthat hasn't had something crazy happen
in that 10 year span?
I mean, it's not going to,it's going to happen, right?
So like, is it.
Do you feel like there's somepeople that are just like had the
best parents, best situation?
They're fine.
(24:06):
I mean, look, of the hundredsof people I've talked to, ironically,
I just had a session with mybusiness partner earlier today and
I couldn't find anything.
I couldn't find anything.
But how many people is that, Nathan?
It is such a small percentage.
I mean a fraction of a small percentage.
So who could use it?
Pretty much everyone.
(24:28):
Yeah, well, it sounds like itbecause I just know from my experience
and from friends experience,like it's, it's just life gives you
curve balls, right?
To your parents, your friends,your family.
And if you're raised in thatkind of environment and you just
brush it off because you'relike, that's just life.
I mean from what you'resaying, it sounds like you can still
overcome, you can overcomethose issues that you probably buried.
(24:49):
There's no brushing offanything by the way, Nathan.
You may think you brushed itoff, but all you have to look at
is again, look at yourrelationships and your success in
life.
Not success from a financial standpoint.
Success to me is do you wakeup in the morning feeling good about
life?
Do you go to, do you, do youput your head on the pillow at night
feeling good about life?
Or you constantly stress, areyou constantly angry, are you beating
(25:11):
yourself up?
Negative self talk, any ofthat stuff will.
You haven't kicked, you can'tpush anything aside.
That's the thing.
Suck it up.
Nah, that doesn't work.
Wow, you got a lot of goodstuff to tell.
I mean, I'm sure I don't.
Honestly, I'm just trying to think.
I'm like, what could he dotell you to, to change your, your,
your trauma or not eventrauma, but like what has happened
(25:34):
that might be affecting you negatively?
I have no idea.
But it sounds interesting.
I think we gotta talk more.
Love it, man.
I'm.
I'm always here.
All right, let's go.
Well, hey, everybody.
This has been amazing.
If you have, you know,anything you want to work on with
yourself.
I mean, I believe that mindsetand self development is the mo.
One of the most.
It's something I'm extremelypassionate about.
So when you're talking aboutgay war and all that stuff, like,
(25:56):
I think it's amazing.
I want to be a better fatheronce I have children.
I want to be able to provideand be, you know, to avoid these
issues that are obviouslycausing a lot of problems for people.
So I appreciate you coming on.
Is there anything you'd liketo say before we wrap up?
No, just.
I put out a daily video onfreedom and happiness, and I'm on
all the social media platformsand all of my links are@bradchandler.com
(26:19):
contact.
So just go follow me, and if Ican help you in any way, my phone
number's on there.
You don't have to suffer onesecond, one hour longer.
If it's not me, I'll get yousomeone else that can help you.
Powerful, powerful message.
Well, thank you so much, Brad.
Thanks for coming on.
Thank you.
All right, we are live withInvestor Thrive.
How you doing, Brad?
I'm awesome.
How are you?
Oh, man, it's a.
I'm doing great.
It's a pleasure to see you today.
It's been a busy day.
How about you?
How's your day been going?
Yeah, it's been great.
It's been great.
Good, good.
Well, hey, I appreciate youcoming on my podcast today, the Painless
Wholesaling podcast.
And what we do here is we tryto shorten the learning curve on
(00:29):
how to do deals, how to bewholesalers, how to invest in estate.
And it sounds like you're theperfect guy to have on here.
I mean, you've done tons of deals.
I've done a few.
Okay, well, let's talk aboutit, man.
So for people that don't knowyou, give us a short 30 second, I
guess, synopsis, idea of whoyou are.
Yeah.
I read a book in ninth gradeon how to buy real estate with no
(00:49):
money down.
And I knew that I alwayswanted to do real estate because
I could make a bunch of moneydoing it.
So I bought my first house inJuly of 2003 while I was working
a full time job.
Bought six houses in July andAugust, October.
I came home and told my wifewe just had a new baby, that I quit
my, my job and I was going tostart Express Home Buyers.
And she's like, are you crazy?
(01:10):
And I was like, no, I waslike, it'll be fine.
And here we are 19 years laterat 4,000 houses, and it's worked
out pretty well.
Oh, my gosh.
And hey, I'm just curious,with doing that much volume, you
must have to have an amazingteam behind you, right?
Or were you doing this all,you know, with like a couple people?
No, no, no.
We have an amazing team andit's so amazing to the point where
we're going to do probably 300deals this year and I work about
(01:33):
three hours a week in the business.
Wow.
And so you've, you've placedthe right people in the right positions
to pretty much take over thewhole thing, huh?
Yeah, it took me a while.
I mean, we didn't always havea perfect team, but we've got it.
We've got a great team.
Now, what is just curious,what does a structure like that,
that can do that kind ofvolume look like?
Like how many people areneeded to do those many deals?
So we have five or six peopleon our acquisition team and then,
(01:55):
you know, some accounting,finance, probably three, four people
on construction, slash disposition.
And then we have about 12 or13 full time virtual assistants.
Okay, so virtual assistantsare key in this model, right?
Like getting, I'm assuming,pulling the list, like lead gen,
doing a lot of that stuff.
They, they don't do anythingon the marketing or lead gen side.
(02:15):
They just handle the leads andcall back and, and process everything.
Wow.
Okay, but they're, they're notthe acquisitions closers, are they?
No.
Okay.
No, but, but, but they willset appointments.
Yeah, they'll set appointments.
So lead, they're the leadsmanagers of your companies.
Just like you know, initiallygetting the interest and setting
up appointments.
So they're more overflow, Nathan.
(02:36):
So they'll like, if no oneanswers on our, our staff or it's
after hours or something,they'll, they'll, they'll.
Rather than take it up, youknow, a message or whatever, they'll
actually set the appointment.
Got it.
Okay.
Wow.
You know, and we probablycould just talk all day about how
the business is split up.
Right.
And that might be a call foranother time.
But let's talk about somethingthat it seems like from just what
we've talked about recently,you're super passionate about.
(02:57):
Can you kind of go into likethat story and tell people what's
going on with that?
Yeah.
So 20 months ago, trying toget my help, my son helped for anxiety.
I was on a zoom call and thelady said, you have a tick, like
the first five minutes.
I was like, what are youtalking about?
She goes, you blink profuselywhen you talk about your childhood
trauma.
Would you like to come out andwork with us?
Because your son's problemsprobably are cause.
(03:21):
You may be a cause of yourson's problems.
So I went out and for aweekend flew to Park City and worked
with her and her ex Navy SEAL husband.
And they changed my life.
I mean, really, it wasn't evena weekend, it was like a three hour
session.
I came out of there just acompletely different human being.
And we just went back to mychildhood and figured out the stresses
and the traumas and thestories that we as human beings tell
(03:41):
ourselves around those traumasto get us through that service at
the time when we're six years old.
But when you're 47 years oldtelling yourself you're no good and
you can't do this and youcan't do that, and you're not smart
enough, whatever it is, you'renot good enough, it doesn't serve
you.
And it's the cause of mostproblems in this world, whether it's
addictions or relationships,divorces, obesity, all go back to
(04:04):
how we feel about ourselves.
And it's all from childhood.
So my life changed sodramatically and so amazingly that
I've now dedicated the rest ofmy life to helping people find the
same freedom and happinessthat I found.
Wow.
So those two people you met inPark City, I don't know if you knew
this, but I live in Salt LakeCity, so I'm pretty close.
Do you mind sharing who they were?
(04:25):
It's Larry and Annie Yacht.
Wow.
So ex Navy seal, huh?
Yep.
Did a lot of what he had tosay contribute to his ex Navy seal,
like, being in the.
I guess, in that position.
Did that contribute to, like,his mindset and why he believed that
and taught you, or did that.
Is it just a different thing?
No, I think he's just a reallysharp, smart individual, and he just.
(04:47):
He figured this out over theyears working with people.
He worked with a lot of CEOs,and he'd come into their companies
to help them, and he's like,wait, the problem isn't with your
company.
The problem is how you think.
So he literally designed thisaround that.
If your business, I mean, ifanything is in chaos in your life,
whether it's you don't go tothe gym, or you weigh too much, or
your marriage sucks, or yourbusiness is in chaos, or, you know,
(05:10):
always up and down starvingfor cash, you've got to look at,
why is that happening?
You got to go to the source ofthe problem.
The source of the problem is typically.
Always happens between birthand 10 years old, where your brain
is programmed and people arelike, how can that be?
Well, your subconscious mindnever forgets anything.
And your subconscious mind iswhat rules 80 to 90% of your behavior
(05:33):
on a daily basis.
A daily basis.
So you're doing all thisbehavior and activity, and most people
don't even know why they'redoing it.
They're driven by thisprogramming from when they were six
years old.
Well, I mean, that kind ofmakes me feel like if everything
has to go between your birthand 10 years old, then maybe people
should focus more on figuringout what happened in that time.
(05:54):
Right.
Well, they should.
Again, it's the cause of.
I can pretty much traceanything bad in anyone's life probably
back to that time period oflife where their brain was being
formed.
Wow.
So.
So I watched a podcast withJoe Rogan.
I think he had a medicalexpert on there and how he was saying
that, like, a lot of the ADHDand a lot of these problems stem
(06:14):
from, like, the way you were raised.
In that time period andliving, I guess, in anxiety.
Right?
Like is, do you, is thatsomething that you've even heard
of or.
This is, I've got.
This is likely the guy.
Gabriel.
That's him.
Yeah, Gabriel.
He's the man, dude.
He's a man.
He's one of my mentors.
I studied under him.
No way.
That guy, that guy was just a genius.
(06:36):
Incredible.
So here's, here's what he says.
This is a 600 page book.
I just showed you 600 pages ofsaying that every health disease
can be traced back tochildhood, unresolved childhood trauma
and adhd.
Let's just use as an example.
ADHD is a child's mind sayingsomething's really bad happened to
(06:56):
me at 6.
So what do I do?
Your brain does what it'ssupposed to do.
It checks out, it disassociates.
So then nothing ever changesbecause your subconscious brain doesn't
know time.
Right?
So at 17 or 27 or whatever itis, you're still disassociating.
So there's no.
He, he, he claims, and he's adoctor, he's been doing this for
40 years, that, that there'sno such thing as ADD or ADHD.
(07:18):
And you don't need medicationbecause it never solves anything.
It is a disease of childhoodthat all you have to do is go back
and figure out when it startedand reprogram your mind around the
truth and not the untruth.
So amazing you saw that.
Because this guy is, he is, heis so great.
Cancer, MS, eczema, like onand on and on things are.
(07:39):
When your body is under stressfor a long time, it breaks down physically
and that's why illnesses occur.
So let's, let's talk about that.
So obviously if I, if I have a.
I don't have any kids, right?
But if I, when I have a kid,from what Gabriel was saying, from
what I understood was you needto be attentive, you need to be present
with your children, you needto be there to, to, I guess, support
(08:02):
them.
Right.
And if you don't, then there'sthat stress level.
Is that correct?
Is that like you need to spendmore time with the people you love,
especially in that 1 to 10 age range?
Yeah, I do a daily video everysingle day.
And one of the videos that gotthe most views was quoting him that
basically said every problemin a person's life and every suffering
can be down to the unmet, canbe traced back to unmet childhood
(08:25):
needs.
So a lot of people, when theyThink about trauma.
They're like, well, I wasn'tbullied by my neighbor.
I wasn't molested.
I wasn't sexually assaulted.
Well, that's a big T trauma.
This is his words.
Little T trauma is you can becompletely messed up.
The rest of your little sisterwas born.
You thought your parents lovedher more than you, so.
(08:45):
Absolutely, 100% he's right.
Shoot.
So is that.
Do you have.
If you're.
If you're met.
It doesn't have to be huge.
It can be.
Yeah.
Do you have kids in that ageright now?
I have kids, Yep.
Okay.
Is that.
Is that something.
You're kidding.
Sorry.
Go ahead.
Yes.
So the reason my son has.
The reason my son has anxietyis because the way that I parented
(09:06):
him and the way that hismother parented him before I made
this transformation.
So, yeah, I was.
I've been a single dad for 11 years.
I did everything for my son,everything for my son and daughter.
But yet, even though I wasattentive and loving and affectionate,
my childhood pain was puttingundue pressure on him to be, like
a worst golfer.
And that gave him anxiety.
(09:28):
Shoot, that's wild, man.
This has given me a lot tothink about.
Right.
With raising children and alsoaddressing your past, anybody's past,
child traumas.
Right.
Yeah.
Nathan.
I mean, the thing aboutchildren that's really important
is if you are listening tothis and your children or child have
behavioral issues, the firstplace you should look is in the mirror.
(09:49):
Because you 100% are the causeof your.
Your child.
100% may be a stretch.
99%, 98%.
If your child has behavioralissues, it's because of you.
And Gabor wrote a book withhis son, who's also in the business.
It's called don't lose hold ofyour child or something like that.
Keep your child.
And it's all about how everybehavioral problem that a child has
(10:13):
is around lack of connectionwith their parent.
And punishments do no good,like hitting a child.
Oh, my God.
The worst thing you could ever do.
People are like, oh, you needto spank your kid just so they'll
respect you.
No, no, no, no, no.
That's the worst thing you canever do, because the one person in
that child's life that'ssupposed to protect them, they're
going to inflict harm,violence, and shame on that child.
(10:35):
And that's going to fix the child.
That's going to help them.
No, that's going to screw thechild up.
So if you're spanking yourchildren Thinking you're doing something
good, you're definitely not.
Oh my gosh.
Well, what's your opinion onthe way society is right now and
how, how people are very likedistracted right now with technology
and not really being present?
(10:55):
Do you feel like there's goingto be more issues with kids growing
up in this day and age?
There are more issues, not arethere going to be.
I mean, the 15 to 25 year oldage range is the probably the most
troubled 10 year age rangethat exists right now.
And it's because of thedevices, it's because of lack of
connection.
So all of our problems when wehave that childhood trauma, all it's
(11:16):
really doing is taking us outof connection with ourselves.
So lack of connection withyourself is terrible.
Lack of connection with otherpeople is terrible.
So the fact that you can noworder food from your house, work
from home, get your laundrydone, you never have to leave, right?
So it's creating a further disconnection.
And then the technology ofthese phones is they want to keep
you constantly there, so theydo things to keep your brain constantly.
(11:40):
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go,go, go.
Your brain was supposed to bein, go back to a thousand years ago
when we were living on theplains or in caves even further back.
There wasn't danger all the time.
You would stay around, you'dgo hunt, you'd have like 20% where
your brain is in an activestate like a fight or flight, and
80% the other time it's reversed.
Now it's like most humanbeings spend 80% of time in like
(12:03):
this super jacked up fight orflight mode and it's not good at
all.
What's your solution?
The solution is connection.
The solution to everything istake a look at your childhood and
figure out those traumatictimes you went through and then reverse
those faults and turn theminto the truth and live by the truth.
(12:23):
For children, it's gettingoutside, it's having their parents
listen to them.
Gabor says the child has to beseen, heard and understood.
So if you're a parent, youshould be doing that.
You should be forcing yourkids to get, get out of the house,
off of their gaming, intonature, into sports, into biking,
whatever it is, just get outof the house and connect with other
human beings.
(12:43):
Shoot.
Well, do you feel like movingto a remote area where there's bad
service and you know, theyhave to go out in the woods?
Do you feel like that's a good idea?
I mean, I don't know about that.
That might, that might be alittle Extreme.
Well, I'll tell you this.
My wife is from Canada andshe's two hours north of Toronto.
And.
And whenever I go there, it'slike my happiest time.
(13:04):
They live in, like, what'scalled cottage country.
It's like out in the middleof, you know, the fields, and it's
just so fun, you know,everybody there is just like, slower
pace.
They're just enjoying theirice rink hockey, you know, that.
The homemade stuff.
It just seems like connectionis more important there.
And then in Salt Lake City,Utah or wherever, when you go in
cities, it's like boom, boom,boom, boom.
(13:24):
You know, it's.
It's just a go, go, go.
So are you saying that thelifestyle, maybe even capitalism
that's driving this is goingto be a bad.
It's just too much.
So look, I think that ifpeople got the right help, I mean,
you can.
It's.
It's not your environment so much.
It's your thought process, howyou think, and then, you know, it's
(13:46):
not your outside environment.
It's not what's going on inthe city as much as what's going
on in your own house.
Are you stuck in your room allday playing video games all day?
Yeah, that's really, really bad.
That can happen in the farm orthat can happen in, you know, the
Bronx.
It doesn't matter.
So just get out and be withnature and be with people.
So about the child, addressingthe childhood trauma, like, how would
you suggest someone go aboutthat if they're watching this?
(14:08):
Like, do they reach out to you?
Do they reach out to a therapist?
How does that work?
I mean, either, either, allthe above, really.
Just go get someone.
When you look for someone, 83%of Americans identify as not being
very happy.
So that probably puts 83% oflife coaches and therapists in that
same bucket.
Right?
So I would ask them questionsaround, what does their life look
(14:28):
like?
What does their relationshipslook like?
Have they made the transition?
Are they happy or are theyconstantly in a fight or flight mode?
Are they constantly stressed?
Do they overeat or do they do drugs?
Are they addicted to something?
So it's really hard findingsomeone who's done where you're trying
to go.
I've made this transition.
I'm as happy and as free asI've ever been in my life.
Life is amazing for me, great relationships.
(14:50):
So certainly people can cometo me.
If they don't, though, justknow that no matter what situation
you're in, if you'resuffering, life doesn't have to be
about suffering, There is abetter way.
And the method that I use is aquick method.
Like I have seen crazy, crazytransformation in a matter of like
three or four hours with someof my clients.
You don't need to go to a talktherapist and spend five years doing
(15:12):
this.
You just don't need to do it.
There is a better way.
So if you're suffering, knowthat if you really want to change
and you're willing to seethings from a different perspective,
like your life can radicallychange in a matter of hours.
Wow.
Do you believe I have adhd?
Right?
Whether it's figment in myimagination, whatever, how would
I conquer that?
(15:34):
So first of all, you shouldread Gabor's book because he's got
an entire book dedicated to it.
Honestly, working with someonelike me, because your ADHD is just.
You're in like a fight orflight mode.
So something happened in yourchildhood, likely that got you to
disassociate and get out ofthe present moment.
And because you haven't donethe work to separate yourself from
(15:55):
your adult and childlike life,you still live in the past.
That's what trauma does.
It takes you out of thepresent and into the past.
So you're living in the past.
So what we do is through thiswork that I do, we get you into the
present.
And that's how true happinessis, Right?
Heaven on earth is right here,right now.
If you're not worried aboutwhat's going to happen tomorrow and
you're not letting your memoryruin yesterday, then you're happy.
(16:19):
So how much do you think aboutmoney now that you've made this transformation?
How much does money is moneyon your mind?
So way less than it wasbecause money was the vehicle to
prove my worth.
So this coaching company thatI formed six months ago is the first
business venture I've everstarted in my life where I didn't
think about how am I going tomake a ton of money?
My focus now is how do I makea lot of impact?
(16:42):
And that's the same focus Ihave in my express home buyers fix
and flip business.
I've now changed to how can Iimpact my employees?
How can I impact my sellers?
How can we impact ourinvestors in a positive way?
Instead of focusing on money,I'm focusing on impact.
And we're doing amazing.
So I think if more peoplewould focus on making an impact in
people's lives, they wouldmake more money than ever.
(17:05):
I started a Keller Williamsteam in 2008 to try to be the first
team to Sell a billion dollarsin a year.
So I was focused on the top line.
Why?
Because if I sold a billiondollars, maybe I'd be worthy of something.
Had I.
Had I gone in and said, hey,I'm going to construct the best team
with the best service thatKeller Williams ever had, I would
have had a way better chanceof getting to a billion dollars and
(17:27):
actually making money than Idid trying to shoot for a billion
dollars.
It was just silly.
Yeah.
Wow.
So let me ask you this.
If after coming to thisrealization that you don't, this
is what is true happiness,what is the number one thing that
you've gotten rid of in yourlife that you used to do that you
feel like has made a giantimpact, like a habit or something?
(17:48):
Easy answer.
It's just my thinking.
I started living in the truth.
So for 47 years, mysubconscious brain was telling me,
you're not worthy.
You've got to go prove yourself.
And I woke up that day in ParkCity or got off the out of the session
and I'm like, wait, wait, Idon't have to prove anything to anyone
anymore.
(18:08):
Oh my gosh, like a weight justgot lifted off my chest.
It was amazing.
So that's the one thing, andthat's the one thing that everyone
who's suffering does is theydon't live in the truth.
They live about these liesabout who they are, and that's not
who they really are.
Everyone at their essence isan amazing human being.
They may not behave as a matehuman being, but the reason they
don't behave as an amazinghuman being is, is because they tell
(18:30):
themselves our prisons arefull of people.
They weren't born a prisoner.
They weren't born a criminal.
They were born a beautifulchild that happened to be corrupted
through their parents.
Through their parents poor beliefs.
Well, yeah, I mean, that's.
From what you're saying, itmakes complete sense.
Let me ask you, does religiontake any part into this equation
(18:52):
or is this not religious at all?
So at the core of it, there isno religion involved.
I'm a believer in God.
I've become closer to Godthrough this process.
Do you need to be a believerin God to make this work?
No, I think it's reallyimportant to think that there's a
universe out there and thatthere's a higher power of some way,
(19:12):
shape or form.
There are more grains of sandon every beach on the Earth.
There are more stars in thesky than grains of sand.
Our universe, you can't evenfathom how big it is.
So there's a lot more outthere that we don't know and we will
never know.
Maybe we will.
But yeah, if you believe inhigher power or that there's a greater
universe or that there's agreater good going on, it's going
(19:34):
to help a lot in your journey.
Is this new knowledge to the,I guess, scientific community or
in general that they're one to10 years old has determines disease,
your mindset, all that.
Is that new?
Well, that part, yes.
I'm sorry, that part is, is, Ithink is newer and newer.
Yes.
It is the fact that the, thestress, although you know what I
(19:54):
say it's newer.
When all the books I've read,people have been talking about this
for 60 to 80 years.
It's just, it's never gone anywhere.
Because think about this.
If I go to the doctor, doesthe doctor ever ask me about, like,
well, are you under stress orwhat was your childhood like?
No, they're like, let's,let's, this is what Western medicine
is all about.
Let me label you, diagnoseyou, and then give you a drug.
(20:17):
So if they can do it throughtalk therapy, where's the money?
Do you know how much pharmaceutical.
You go and look at everypharmaceutical drug that's out there
and 90% plus could be tracedback to the stress that you've had
from childhood trauma.
So it's one of those things inlife where you just have to follow
the money trail and you cansee why it's not talked about more.
But thanks to Gabor, he'stalking about it and he's getting
(20:38):
some huge press from his book.
Did Gabor, is that, did hehelp you along this journey or was
it mainly the seal and thelady in Park City?
So I've been fortunate to workunder like 3 or 4 of what I think
some of the best people in the business.
So he was just one of the people.
Wow.
How'd you, how'd you getlinked up with that?
Like, that's, that's acompletely different industry than
home buying.
Like, is it just a differentcircle you're running in or how,
(20:59):
how did that happen?
I mean, it's just through,like, I, I've probably read 40 books
and spend a thousand to 2,000hours on this since, since my transformation
last February.
It's all I do.
It's, it's all I do is, isjust trying to become the best so
that I can impact and have thebiggest impact on the most people.
Do you believe that this issomething that the average person
can do?
(21:19):
They can change or do you feellike this is like it takes a certain
person, like skills, not skillset, but like, I don't know, high
level individual to be able to change.
I guess what happened withinthe last, you know, one to 10 years
when they were born.
Here are the only people thatcan truly change.
Number one, they've got towant to change.
And number two, they have,they have to have a willingness to
(21:40):
see things from a different perspective.
So anyone in the world, ifthey have those two characteristics
can change.
Wow.
So it's not, it's not likeyou, you have to achieve a certain,
you know, intelligence or IQor ability to like do this.
Anybody can do it.
Anybody can do it.
Wow.
You got me thinking.
You know, usually I'm prettyupbeat, but I'm like, you got me.
(22:00):
You probably have this effecton a lot of your people you work,
you talk to.
Well, I do.
I mean it gets you thinking, right?
Because the only time you canchange is when you have awareness
of something and people mightbe like, well, I don't know what
this self love stuff he'stalking about, I don't know if I
have like compatible.
What does that even mean?
Well, it means just that, itmeans that you love yourself.
(22:21):
And so many people I talk tosay, well I love myself.
And I go, well, do you?
Let's do a little test.
Are you constantly triggered?
Are you constantly in a stateof like anger, depression?
Do you find yourself judgingpeople all the time?
Do you judge yourself all the time?
Do you have self destructive behaviors?
Do you eat too much, drink toomuch, smoke too much?
What are your relationships like?
Are you in a deeply connectedrelationship or have you gone from
(22:44):
are you in a shitty relationship?
And is every relationship beenlike boom boom bo boom.
If you answer yes to any ofthose questions, you have some component
of lacking self love and self compassion.
And if that's the case, everyarea of your life is negatively affected.
Wow.
You know, because I thinkabout my childhood like just, you
know, like most people, Iwould assume that their parents tried
(23:04):
their best, but they weren'tthe best.
Right.
Like it just happens.
Right.
They neglect hitting orwhatever it happens.
But I thought, you know, justbefore talking, I just thought that
was life and you just got aman up and just go through and do
your best.
And I have no ill will towardsthe parents.
I think they're amazing.
But I mean if you're talkingabout issues from 1 to 10, then I'm
(23:25):
assuming I have quite a bitlike anybody else.
Yeah.
And again, so, so I would Oncewe're off the call, I would just
look at your, look at yourlife and look at all the things that
didn't go right.
Relationships, your health,your, you know, how are you in a
day?
Are you, are you upset?
Do you get trigger a lot?
All of those things will besign that you have, you have work
to do.
(23:46):
And if you're willing to dothe work, the other side of where
you're at is, is magical.
Absolutely magical.
Well, I'm curious, who doesn'tneed work?
I mean, who have you ever metthat hasn't had something crazy happen
in that 10 year span?
I mean, it's not going to,it's going to happen, right?
So like, is it.
Do you feel like there's somepeople that are just like had the
best parents, best situation?
They're fine.
(24:06):
I mean, look, of the hundredsof people I've talked to, ironically,
I just had a session with mybusiness partner earlier today and
I couldn't find anything.
I couldn't find anything.
But how many people is that, Nathan?
It is such a small percentage.
I mean a fraction of a small percentage.
So who could use it?
Pretty much everyone.
(24:28):
Yeah, well, it sounds like itbecause I just know from my experience
and from friends experience,like it's, it's just life gives you
curve balls, right?
To your parents, your friends,your family.
And if you're raised in thatkind of environment and you just
brush it off because you'relike, that's just life.
I mean from what you'resaying, it sounds like you can still
overcome, you can overcomethose issues that you probably buried.
(24:49):
There's no brushing offanything by the way, Nathan.
You may think you brushed itoff, but all you have to look at
is again, look at yourrelationships and your success in
life.
Not success from a financial standpoint.
Success to me is do you wakeup in the morning feeling good about
life?
Do you go to, do you, do youput your head on the pillow at night
feeling good about life?
Or you constantly stress, areyou constantly angry, are you beating
(25:11):
yourself up?
Negative self talk, any ofthat stuff will.
You haven't kicked, you can'tpush anything aside.
That's the thing.
Suck it up.
Nah, that doesn't work.
Wow, you got a lot of goodstuff to tell.
I mean, I'm sure I don't.
Honestly, I'm just trying to think.
I'm like, what could he dotell you to, to change your, your,
your trauma or not eventrauma, but like what has happened
(25:34):
that might be affecting you negatively?
I have no idea.
But it sounds interesting.
I think we gotta talk more.
Love it, man.
I'm.
I'm always here.
All right, let's go.
Well, hey, everybody.
This has been amazing.
If you have, you know,anything you want to work on with
yourself.
I mean, I believe that mindsetand self development is the mo.
One of the most.
It's something I'm extremelypassionate about.
So when you're talking aboutgay war and all that stuff, like,
(25:56):
I think it's amazing.
I want to be a better fatheronce I have children.
I want to be able to provideand be, you know, to avoid these
issues that are obviouslycausing a lot of problems for people.
So I appreciate you coming on.
Is there anything you'd liketo say before we wrap up?
No, just.
I put out a daily video onfreedom and happiness, and I'm on
all the social media platformsand all of my links are@bradchandler.com
(26:19):
contact.
So just go follow me, and if Ican help you in any way, my phone
number's on there.
You don't have to suffer onesecond, one hour longer.
If it's not me, I'll get yousomeone else that can help you.
Powerful, powerful message.
Well, thank you so much, Brad.
Thanks for coming on.
Thank you.
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